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Toddler dance party at a bar?


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I am sincerely trying to figure out if I am being "judgemental" about this before I write a letter to the editor of my local newspaper.

There is such a plethora of voices and personalities on here I thought it would be a good place to get some feedback.

So

This past weekend a local bar in town was opened up in the afternoon for a toddler dance party. A local lady put on the party and plans on having them regularly.

They had a live DJ, bartender, pool tables, etc.

http://www.missoulian.com/articles/2009/04/27/news/top/news01.txt

it made the front page of our paper and was touted as a very postive thing for the community. You can glance at the article if you want to.

The picture album show kids crawling around on the bar floor, playing pool and dancing.

Now let me tell you that I LOVE DANCING so, so, so, so much! SOOO much. I am just not quite sure about at a bar; even in the day.

I feel old all of the sudden and I am only 30.

any comments on this?

e

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As long as they are not serving alcohol to the kids, what's wrong with it? Plenty of people rent out clubs and such for parties and weddings where kids are invited. We bring our child into breweries, pubs, and restaurants that have bars. We often go with one or two other families with kids, and the kids sit at their own table and do the kid thing while we adults do the same. Of course there is no drinking and driving or adults getting drunk. We do drink though.

 

It would depend on what kind of place it was, what part of town, and what the regular clientele was like for me to make a decision whether *I* personally would go to this particular event. I don't see what's wrong with a bunch of kids and parents having good clean fun wherever they choose to have it, though.

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Wendy, thanks for your input. I really appreciate it.

Thanks to the other replies as well.

I am really interested in those that think differently from me because sometimes I know I can be pretty tunnel visioned and miss some good points, you know?

Still, though I am having a hard time with it. I have spent a lot of time in bars, maybe that it why. I am having a hard time separating my real life experiences with my toddler crawling around on the floor.

There are other options in town too. A few private school gymnasiums, community centers, even a few cool old downtown buildings that are meant specifically as rental for get togthers just to name a few.

still pondering though thanks for the feedback.

e

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Well....I grew up in South Philly. As kids, we went regularly to dances held at the local clubs. These are the clubs that participate in the Mummer's Parade. I suppose they were bars when the kids weren't there, but we wouldn't have known it. We had great fun.

 

Unless the kiddies are doing jello shots, I think it's probably fine. The only thing that seems odd is how young they are. Do 3 yo kids really need a dance party?

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Well my first reaction was "WHAT?!". But after looking at the article and thinking about it I thought "why not?" I would love the opportunity to meet other people with young children. There aren't really many opportunities for that. I think it would be fun for the adults and the children. A bar might seem like a weird or icky place for it, but what other place will host that many people to just hang out? I can't think of any place.

 

I had the same reaction at first when something similar came to town. It seemed weird. However, when all is said and done, a bar is just a building. These parties take place when the bar would otherwise be closed. And it gives families a chance to socialize and enjoy the music.

 

Eh, it might not be my thing, but I don't think it's "wrong."

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It's not anything I'd write to the editor of the paper about, assuming no alcohol was being served.

 

Or maybe even then, because I'm probably too libertarian to write about something like that, anyway :D

 

It's not anything I'd go to, though. I think it's silly. I love to dance. I love to hang out with my kids. I don't see that it benefits my toddlers in any way to have a dance party, and as much as I love to share activities with my kids, dancing and hanging out at a bar doesn't make the cut.

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Do 3 yo kids really need a dance party?

 

No. Maybe a finger paint party or a play-doh party. You could still have music and dancing.

 

The guy who didn't like the idea of kids on the pool tables had a valid complaint--not to mention it's dangerous.

 

Whatever happened to places like Discovery Zone?

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I don't see anything wrong with it. It's a good use of the space, they have space to dance and sound equipment. Didn't look like a dingy place in the pictures. They had a good turn-out, so evidently the locals didn't have a problem with it.

 

Why do you feel you need to complain about it? Do you want to stop it from happening, do you think other people should not be allowed to go if they want to? Why don't you just stay away, and let others enjoy? Doesn't look like it's supported by tax dollars. (I'm really curious, I'm not being snarky.)

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As long as it is clean, safe, and the toddlers are not sitting at the bar doing shots and beer chasers, I see nothing wrong with it. I looked at the article, but didn't really see a list of songs. That would be something that I would be concerned about. I think there is plenty of songs that are pop that would be fine, and a lot that are not. But, if the party was all Kidsbob I would not go nor allow my child. Kidsbop is pure evil haha. I hide in my room my daughter plays her cd.

 

I think this is quite ingenious of the bar owners. They get people in when they are normally closed (I am not sure how much they are making on this), and perhaps the parents may decide - hey this place isn't too shabby, maybe we should come some night ourselves.

 

Smart, very smart.

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I've been to one of these places. It runs once a month in a bar. We went to a birthday party there. They served kid-type snacks and you could order non alcoholic drinks and bar snacks from the bar. I see a bar as a logical place. It's not utilised at that time and it has the facilities available to easily provide the food and drink.

 

It was the best time! They had kid appropriate music and parents and kids having fun together. They had two teen agers in themed t-shirts to lead the dancing and get the kids up and having fun.

 

I really don't get the issue. I didn't see anything immoral about it. And in fact the party that we went to was for the DD of a Christian friend of mine.

 

To me it was like when you go to a wedding and you know how adults get the kids up and everyone just has fun dancing and being silly together. We'll definitely be going back!

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Personally, I think its a brilliant move by the owners of the establishment. And depending on the area, if its a smallish town sort of place, they could definately have a good draw on their hands.

 

Its just a building. The same way a community centre can serve booze at a wedding reception with the proper licencing (here anyways) and be open for kid activities the next day. Same space, different use. Nobody's serving booze to toddlers.

 

 

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I don't see anything wrong with it. It's a good use of the space, they have space to dance and sound equipment. Didn't look like a dingy place in the pictures. They had a good turn-out, so evidently the locals didn't have a problem with it.

 

Why do you feel you need to complain about it? Do you want to stop it from happening, do you think other people should not be allowed to go if they want to? Why don't you just stay away, and let others enjoy? Doesn't look like it's supported by tax dollars. (I'm really curious, I'm not being snarky.)

 

I appreciate your question here, I really do. Precisely the reason I am on here asking for thoughts on this before I spout off in a letter to the paper is because of the point you are making in your comment.

I have a personal history with bars and alcholism and I understand that I may be biased. My intent, though is n ot to complain, but just offer some food for thought.

Yeah, the locals did not have a problem with it (at least not a lot of them), but that does not make it right or healthy for a community? I have been in that bar and it is no worse or better than any other bar, just an average bar with a lot of pool tables, but a bar nonetheless.

We do not have a situation where it is hard or too terribly expensive to find an alterntive place to do such a thing. That it is at a bar, I think, is intentional and the article pretty much alludes to this. Still, I just don't know. I really don't.

 

Why at a bar when it could be somewhere else?

My intention is not to keep others from having fun or try to prevent that in any way....I am just trying to figure out why I feel so wierd about this.

I know many of the attendees too. I just dont want to cause waves which is why I am here asking you all who don't know me or them (or at least I dont think so)

e

Edited by emeraldjoy
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I think that parents are pretty capable of determining what is right and healthy for their own kiddos.

 

Be warned though...any press is generally considered 'good press' and writing a letter to the Editor may only prolong the fame and free advertising for the business.

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I just don't see a problem with it. First off, I don't have a problem with bars in general (and both my kids have been to pubs, breweries, and bars with us), second if a bar wants to open up in the afternoons to kids...I think that is great! What a great way of giving back to the community (whether it is sponsored or a pay event)! I honestly wish we had something like this in our area (wouldn't have to be a dance party...just anything). I don't see why bars are sad or icky...

Edited by chaik76
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I have a personal history with bars and alcholism and I understand that I may be biased. My intent, though is not to complain, but just offer some food for thought.

 

I don't think it's a bad thing to give people food for thought. But I do think your bad experience with bars is a strong influence on your feelings here.

 

One of my experiences with bars is as a community center. The VFW near my in-law's house, the bar in the back of a cheese store near my grandmother's house. Just a place to hang out and see the neighbors.

 

We do not have a situation where it is hard or too terribly expensive to find an alterntive place to do such a thing. That it is at a bar, I think, is intentional and the article pretty much alludes to this. Still, I just don't know. I really don't.

 

Maybe you should host a dance party at an alternative place. I would probably choose an alternative over a bar, if there was one.

 

Why at a bar when it could be somewhere else?

 

Because the party host is friends with the bar owner? I don't know. Probably the circumstances made it easy for these people to host the party at the bar, and the bar owner thought it would generate positive publicity. And they were right.

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I was looking at the picture slide show on the website and my 4yo walked up behind me and shouted, "Oh wow! What's that Mom??" I asked him what it looked like and he said, "Ooooh!! It's a birssday party! That's FUN, Mom!"

 

The only thing that made me squirm was wondering exactly what may have taken place on those upholstered couches in the bar's other incarnation :bored:

 

Barb

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Doesn't bother me at all. As long as the behavior is "kid-appropriate" while the children are there, I don't think the building matters at all. Lots of "wedding banquet halls" I've seen are restaurants and bars at other times. If I wanted to go and dance, I wouldn't think twice about it.

 

Of course, I can count the number of times I've been in a bar on... let's see... one finger? I think I went to a bar on my 21st birthday. That was it. I've been in restaurants that have bars, but a real actual bar like on TV with stools and a counter and people just drinking? Never been part of my life.

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Yeesh. I'm a recovered drunk. I *work* in a bar during adult hours 28 hours a week.

 

A bar that hosts a kid/family friendly event during the day? I can't imagine any valid reasons to object.

 

Unless the bar is a smoking venue; the residual odor would make me puke.

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Well my first reaction was "WHAT?!". But after looking at the article and thinking about it I thought "why not?" I would love the opportunity to meet other people with young children. There aren't really many opportunities for that. I think it would be fun for the adults and the children. A bar might seem like a weird or icky place for it, but what other place will host that many people to just hang out? I can't think of any place.

 

How about a rec center?

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Thanks for all of the responses. It is good to get a taste of possibly some of the other thoughts of those involved without having to ask and possibly stir up some stuff that I do not really want to so close to home. It is a pretty small community. I am glad I did. Any and all thoughts are welcome.

I don't fancy myself as a conservative at all really so I am surprised at my reaction to this and.... I love to dance.....and the thought of missing out on something really cool because I can;t get over myself is sort of disturbing. Still....I am having a hard time getting over myself.

I liked the idea of hosting my own; however, I don't quite have enough"clout" in the community as of yet anyway. A local and very popular clothing store sponsored it.

E

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I don't have a real issue with the location other than the filth of a typical bar's floor.....ewwww.

 

 

There are similar events held her in Portland, Oregon all the time. They are very popular and honestly I don't really mind where they are held, as long as it is clean. :0)

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Wendy, thanks for your input. I really appreciate it.

Thanks to the other replies as well.

I am really interested in those that think differently from me because sometimes I know I can be pretty tunnel visioned and miss some good points, you know?

Still, though I am having a hard time with it. I have spent a lot of time in bars, maybe that it why. I am having a hard time separating my real life experiences with my toddler crawling around on the floor.

There are other options in town too. A few private school gymnasiums, community centers, even a few cool old downtown buildings that are meant specifically as rental for get togthers just to name a few.

still pondering though thanks for the feedback.

e

I think the idea of a toddler dance party is just plain weird, but harmless.

The bar part doesn't bother me at all. I guarantee that's because I was practically raised in one.

 

My grandparents owned a bar and lived in the upstairs apartment for the first 9 years of my life. Grandpa tended bar, Grandma worked in the kitchen, my great-aunt was the only waitress, my aunts and mother worked special events, and one of my aunts married the bartender Grandpa hired.

 

All family baby showers, bridal showers, birthday parties and repasts were held there. My sisters and cousins zoomed around in their walkers during the day. I learned to play pool on a step stool. I made mean Shirley Temples using the soda gun at age 5. And the juke box guy gave me all of the old 45's.

 

So maybe I'm biased. I just don't see bars as bad places. I wouldn't, however, take my toddler to a dance party!:confused:

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That's scary, but it could happen on the playground around here and we live on the not shady side of town. We have also seen used needles at the park. Very very dangerous for children.

 

I was thinking the same thing. You wouldn't believe the stuff we see in the parks around here.

 

When my son was little®, I used to spend every park day walking ahead of him, picking up and pocketing all the debris he might otherwise pick up. Sometimes, I'd forget to empty my pockets before we came home, and my husband used to look askance at what came home with me.

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My own rambling and disjointed thoughts:

 

We own a bar.

 

In this economy, I can certainly understand owners wanting to make enough money to actually pay themselves.

 

I personally probably wouldn't take my kiddos to a "dance party" at a bar.

 

We have been kicking around the idea of a family brunch/kiddo activities during weekend days.

 

Yes, many bars are filthy, but some owners(*ahem*), are a bit OCD to the point that they themselves scrub the place because no one else will put as much care into making it look great. ;)

 

Yes, that bit about Jude Law's child is horrific -- but I agree with an above poster that said that it could happen many other places as well. What a blessing that the little boy was is now ok!

 

I understand about it being kind of strange, and I am the LAST person in the history of the world who though they would ever own a bar...but I do, and I just wanted to put in my 2 cents. Thanks for listening!

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People have kid parties at the country club here *all the time*. It's a bar. Well, a big dance floor...with a bar...and sometimes a clown. lol And even Chuck E Cheese sells wine to the adults. Parites at social clubs here are common, as are parties at the local VFW. What is the VFW if not a bar? When we were on vacation recently, we took the kids to a pub... and they had fun with the Karaoke machine...

Edited by LibraryLover
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My own rambling and disjointed thoughts:

 

We own a bar.

 

In this economy, I can certainly understand owners wanting to make enough money to actually pay themselves.

 

I personally probably wouldn't take my kiddos to a "dance party" at a bar.

 

We have been kicking around the idea of a family brunch/kiddo activities during weekend days.

 

Yes, many bars are filthy, but some owners(*ahem*), are a bit OCD to the point that they themselves scrub the place because no one else will put as much care into making it look great. ;)

 

Yes, that bit about Jude Law's child is horrific -- but I agree with an above poster that said that it could happen many other places as well. What a blessing that the little boy was is now ok!

 

I understand about it being kind of strange, and I am the LAST person in the history of the world who though they would ever own a bar...but I do, and I just wanted to put in my 2 cents. Thanks for listening!

 

I appreciate this perspective; thanks. It is always good to get first person perspective on issues.

e

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This is my main problem with it. If you look at the bar as just a building and get together as people just meeting each other how can you overlook the bartender. This was a bar night simulation and completely unacceptable.

 

You know, I think this might be my issue with the event as well.

It was not just the building. As so many have commented it is true that a building is just a building and only is what you make it. However, this does not seem to be a situation where someone is sort of converting a bar or club into a meeting place for kids. I think the actual purpose of the party was to simulate what adults do at bars. Even from reading the article it appears that the point was that it was a club setting and club activities; just for kids.

still pondering though. I appreciate all feedback too.

I think you have sucessfully talked me down form a nasty letter to the editor though....I think anyway.

e

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However, this does not seem to be a situation where someone is sort of converting a bar or club into a meeting place for kids. I think the actual purpose of the party was to simulate what adults do at bars.

 

See, I went and read the article and looked at the slide show, and that's not the sense I got at all. Yes, there were pool tables, but that doesn't scream "bar" or "adult" to me. My husband grew up with a pool table in the garage, and his dad taught them all to play. It's just a game.

 

And there were bubbles and balloons and peanut butter sandwiches.

 

I might choose different music, but that's about my only concern.

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I did not read the article.

But I will say that my dd has been in a bar. She was 3!

Think dark, cold Alaskan winter.

 

A local bar (has a kitchen and serves the best pizza) had Family Night every Wednesday. But you had to be out by 10' if you had kids.

 

They had a basket ball hoop, air hockey, fooze ball, a gazillion other games for kids. We went almost every week because it was 5 minutes walking distance from the house, we didn't have to cook dinner and instead had GOOD pizza and a night out with other moms and kids.

 

Now MIND YOU - this was ALASKA.

A small town of 5,000 in town and 5,000 outside town.

We were winter bound and getting out was a necessity.

It was a clean bar, good food, and kid friendly.

 

People in that town had manners and class.

It was outback ruggad in many ways but folks were polite.

 

Now that I think about watching the kids run around on a dance floor full of games and other moms sitting down at the table eating pizza, it strikes me as being oddly similar to Chuck E. Cheese.....without the chaos and with a beer.

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I think it's a little weird and can't imagine taking my kids...but more because of the dance party aspect than that's it's at a bar. From reading the article itself it didn't look objectionable to me.

 

Also, I think "bar" can mean a lot of things. There are bars that are very clean, nice, upscale, etc. Then there are other kind of places. It didn't say what the bartender was serving. I'd have an issue if the bar was serving alcohol and using the kid's dance party as an excuse to get the parents in drinking. But if they are serving non-alcoholic drinks that seems fine.

 

There is a place here that primarily has live music at night for adults. It's a sort of coffehouse/bar but the music is more of the focus. They have a series of kid's music concerts in the mornings that are incredibly popular here. I've been to some of those and they were pretty fun and innocent. The kids loved it and it brought business to the bar at a time they would normally be closed. They served snacks and coffee during the kids' concerts.

 

I also remember reading in the Washington Post about some bars here that hold Family Happy Hours. That seemed odd to me, although apparently they are popular.

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