Overachiever?

[dirty ethel rackham]

How do you view the term "overachiever?" I experienced someone have a very strong reaction to this term and wondered how people feel about it.

Edited April 22, 2009 by dirty ethel rackham

[Melinda]

Not sure why, but it seems sort of derogatory. I guess it implies (to me) that the person is trying *too* hard. I much prefer accelerated or advanced.

[Jenny in Florida]

It stops short of being "offensive" for me, but it definitely isn't a compliment. My kids are not overachievers, in the sense that they are achieving what is appropriate for them.

 

Overachiever is one of those terms, to my ears, that sounds like people trying to denigrate other people's achievements because seeing other people do more makes them uncomfortable.

[JudoMom]

It stops short of being "offensive" for me, but it definitely isn't a compliment. My kids are not overachievers, in the sense that they are achieving what is appropriate for them.

 

Overachiever is one of those terms, to my ears, that sounds like people trying to denigrate other people's achievements because seeing other people do more makes them uncomfortable.

 

:iagree:

[WTMindy]

It totally depends on the spirit in which it is said. But, I think it is usually meant in a bit of a derogatory way.

[Carrie12345]

"Over" implies "too much".

 

To be honest, I've known some overachievers, and I don't mean that in a good way. Sadly, those cases involved very pushy parents with insane expectations.

 

I do realize that my ds (and maybe the others) has the potential to be viewed as an overachiever. If he works extremely hard toward his goals because he enjoys it, and still has time for silly business, that's fine by me. If he works to exhaustion and/or ignores the lighter side of life, that will be a problem for me. It won't matter what anyone else calls it, but that's how I look at it.

[DawnM]

I don't really think of it as a derogetory term. I want to achieve MORE than the average bear and I want my children to achieve more as well. I guess the question is, what are they achieving OVER? Wanting to better than absolutely everyone would be over the top, but I do want my children to achieve well as DH and I feel we have.

 

Dawn

[Heather in the Kootenays]

I equate it with being driven. either by self or others, to achieve. And not for the love of it. In my mind, it's an almost obsessive drive to be the best - the twin of perfectionism, which I don't see a positive trait either.

 

On the other hand, talented or hardworking are good things.

[LaxMom]

It stops short of being "offensive" for me, but it definitely isn't a compliment. My kids are not overachievers, in the sense that they are achieving what is appropriate for them.

 

Overachiever is one of those terms, to my ears, that sounds like people trying to denigrate other people's achievements because seeing other people do more makes them uncomfortable.

:iagree: I'm not sure that it's inherently "offensive", but the general use that I hear is to diminish the achievements of others. I do hear, and have used, the term to describe someone who always "goes the extra mile", too, though that isn't the spirit in which I usually encounter it.

[Barb_]

I hear it as a snotty, backhanded, passive-aggressive compliment.

[Impish]

It stops short of being "offensive" for me, but it definitely isn't a compliment. My kids are not overachievers, in the sense that they are achieving what is appropriate for them.

 

Overachiever is one of those terms, to my ears, that sounds like people trying to denigrate other people's achievements because seeing other people do more makes them uncomfortable.

:iagree:To me, when I've heard it used, its been to describe someone that has a zealous pathological need to outdo, over come everyone in their path, to always be #1 in everything that they set their sights on, so that's what 'over achiever' brings to mind. When it comes to kids, there's usually a 'stage parent' in the wings...be it an actual 'stage' or 'dance' or 'coach' or 'academic'...whatever the playing field may be at the time. Like the cheerleader mom that killed off her daughter's rival a few years ago.

 

Having goals is normal, and absolutely necessary to my way of thinking in order to achieve anything. Obsessions, not so healthy.

Edited April 22, 2009 by Impish

[Emmy]

I had no idea anyone thought of this term in a derogatory sense - wow! I have only heard it or used it as a compliment.

[Jenny in Florida]

I had no idea anyone thought of this term in a derogatory sense - wow! I have only heard it or used it as a compliment.

 

Well, it's the "over" part that I think most of us feel is the problem. It implies the person is doing more than he or she "should."

 

I would have no problem with "high achiever," for example.

[Barb_]

Well, it's the "over" part that I think most of us feel is the problem. It implies the person is doing more than he or she "should."

 

I would have no problem with "high achiever," for example.

 

:iagree: Over-what? exactly. Over the norm? Over their own abilities? ...as if something like that were possible. The term itself doesn't make much sense. My parents use the term overachiever and it drives me quietly batty...even when they think they are using it as a compliment.

[Jenny in Florida]

Over-what? exactly. Over the norm? Over their own abilities? ...as if something like that were possible.

 

Exactly. To me it implies the person has been pushed or is pushing beyond what is appropriate. And there probably are some people like that. I read the book Overachievers by Alexandra Robbins a couple of years ago, and it was about kids who were being pressured into ridiculous levels of achievement.

 

So, I think of the term as referring to those kids and get cranky when people use it about mine, who are naturally high achievers and aren't gettin pushed or pressured.

 

But I also recognize that not everyone interprets it this way, which is why I said it stops short of achieving offensiveness for me.

[Brigitte]

I think it is something positive, but it has come to be derogatory because of the way people use it. High achievers in this day and age are not valued, it seems.

[mellifera]

It's a description.

[Jenny in Florida]

It's a description.

 

Yes, but what does it describe?

[mellifera]

To me it describes a type of person. It isn't offensive or complimentary it just is.

[Jenny in Florida]

To me it describes a type of person. It isn't offensive or complimentary it just is.

 

But does it describe a person who goes "over," meaning someone who achieves more than is appropriate? Because, if so, I don't see how that could be anything other than derogatory.

 

I think people mostly use this term in two situations:

 

1. When they really mean "high achiever," as in someone who does more than is typical.

 

2. When they are suspicious or jealous of someone who does more than they do and want to discount that person's achievements.

 

As I said, there are some overachievers in the world, but I don't envy them. And the term gets thrown around a lot when it isn't accurate.

[KidsHappen]

I can see a George Carlin skit in the making here. You don't want to be an over-achiever and you certainly don't want an to be under-achiever so does that mean that the best that most people can hope for is to just be an achiever? Mabye acheiver just isn't such a great word after all. :tongue_smilie:

[TeacherZee]

I hear it as a snotty, backhanded, passive-aggressive compliment.

 

Exactly. To me it implies the person has been pushed or is pushing beyond what is appropriate. And there probably are some people like that. I read the book Overachievers by Alexandra Robbins a couple of years ago, and it was about kids who were being pressured into ridiculous levels of achievement.

 

So, I think of the term as referring to those kids and get cranky when people use it about mine, who are naturally high achievers and aren't gettin pushed or pressured.

 

But I also recognize that not everyone interprets it this way, which is why I said it stops short of achieving offensiveness for me.

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

As someone who has been called an overachiever it was never said as a compliment. It has been said by people I know love me very very much and I know they were saying it to take pressure off me. But it always left me feeling like I was doing something wrong even though I was just doing what came naturally to me. This view that I was pressuring myself to hard has caused me no end of problems as an adult. So for me it has very negative connotations.

[JenniferB]

It can be taken either way depending on the context and the tone of voice.

[Kathy in MD]

"Over" implies "too much".

 

To be honest, I've known some overachievers, and I don't mean that in a good way. Sadly, those cases involved very pushy parents with insane expectations.

 

I do realize that my ds (and maybe the others) has the potential to be viewed as an overachiever. If he works extremely hard toward his goals because he enjoys it, and still has time for silly business, that's fine by me. If he works to exhaustion and/or ignores the lighter side of life, that will be a problem for me. It won't matter what anyone else calls it, but that's how I look at it.

 

:iagree: Especially with the last paragraph. If someone enjoys working hard for a goal, yet still has time for other things (relationships, sports, volunteering, whatever), that's fine. Unfortunately some don't seem to enjoy what drives them, and/or they ignore everything else in life. These are the people I feel sorry for.

[Nestof3]

I am called that, and I take it as a compliment. I have a fulfilling life, but I like to give everything my all.

 

I went above and beyond what my employers asked of me because I enjoyed doing so, not because I needed validation or anything weird.

 

I do think when people say it, however, they mean it in a negative way, but I choose to take it as a compliment because going above and beyond is an honorable thing in my opinion.

 

I also think "neat freak" is a compliment. :)

Edited April 22, 2009 by nestof3

[Nestof3]

I think it is something positive, but it has come to be derogatory because of the way people use it. High achievers in this day and age are not valued, it seems.

 

:iagree:

[Plaid Dad]

I consider it a back-handed compliment at best. Mostly it's an expression of envy.

[Aggie]

I can't recall using that word recently, but I would never use it as an insulting term. I would mean it as a compliment, but I think I would also say it enthusiastically.

[kalanamak]

I picked other, because to me the term overachiever just "is". I know what it means, but don't assign a thumbs up or thumbs down to it.

[Tap]

Other...someone who has accomplished a lot in a short period of time.

 

It can be positive, in a 'determined, willing to sacrifice, accomplished' way.

 

It can be negative in an "achieved at the expense of their own personal life, or achieved at the expense of others' way.

[AuntieM]

I vote other because, to me, it all depends on who's slinging the term around.

 

From some, it can be an apt and complimentary observation. From a boss giving me a raise, or someone appreciating some task I've accomplished, a good thing.

 

From others, it can be almost derisive, as in the way one might accuse another of being a teacher's pet or a brown-noser. From a coworker or peer who chooses not to engage a challenge head-on and is mad at someone near her making her look bad? Doesn't sound like a compliment.

 

So, I have to vote other.

 

ETA: Looking back at some of the other replies, I have to agree that if you parse it out, it does imply going over the top. But what does that leave? I guess high achiever would be appropriate. I do count it sad when someone who displays a commitment to excellence is labeled with the term "overachiever" in a derogatory (perhaps envious, as Plaid Dad noted) sort of way.

Edited April 23, 2009 by AuntieM

[Peela]

:iagree:To me, when I've heard it used, its been to describe someone that has a zealous pathological need to outdo, over come everyone in their path, to always be #1 in everything that they set their sights on, so that's what 'over achiever' brings to mind. When it comes to kids, there's usually a 'stage parent' in the wings...be it an actual 'stage' or 'dance' or 'coach' or 'academic'...whatever the playing field may be at the time. Like the cheerleader mom that killed off her daughter's rival a few years ago.

 

Having goals is normal, and absolutely necessary to my way of thinking in order to achieve anything. Obsessions, not so healthy.

 

:iagree: This is also how I feel about the term.

[RoughCollie]

I consider it a back-handed compliment at best. Mostly it's an expression of envy.

 

:iagree: And in that context, it is usually said by someone who wants the fruits of what one has achieved, without doing all the work.

 

Is that redundant?

[lionfamily1999]

It totally depends on the spirit in which it is said. But, I think it is usually meant in a bit of a derogatory way.

:iagree:

What bothers me about the term is that it implies it is wrong to become (or want to become) proficient in something. In other words, it is uncool to be smart or good at something.

:iagree:

It can be taken either way depending on the context and the tone of voice.

:iagree:

 

Depends on who's saying it and the tone they use. I've been called an overachiever, because my work ethic is different from nearly everyone I've ever worked with (if you're being paid to be there, you'd better be doing something to earn that money) and not in a nice way. I've also heard it used as a positive (especially describing ds 7 and dd).

[Jill- OK]

How do you view the term "overachiever?" I experienced someone have a very strong reaction to this term and wondered how people feel about it.

 

...my *husband* uses it, lol, it's generally not meant well. :001_smile:

 

And I don't consider myself an overachiever. Maybe if the term fit better, lol, I'd be more comfortable with it.

 

It depends, I guess, like folks have said, on who's saying it, why, and to whom. (To who? Whatever. My overachieving doesn't extend to grammar.)

 

But...yeah. "Over" tends to mean out-of-the-norm. Which, you might take as a compliment to your achieving. If you're really an overachiever. ;-)

[angela in ohio]

...it is usually said by someone who wants the fruits of what one has achieved, without doing all the work.

 

That's it exactly.

[Paz]

I was labeled an overachiever in high school and it made me really angry. They should have just said I was a poor test taker which is the truth. I got great grades in school with little to no effort. I just didn't have to test scores to back up my grades so my guidance counselors assumed I worked really hard for those grades.