I Don't Know Why My Child Is Obese, Dr. Phil

[LUV2EDU]

Okay, I am watching Dr. Phil. This episode is dealing with young obese children. The children eat and eat, but the parents are stating, "I don't know why my child is so big."

 

I understand that some children may have a medical conditions that may cause their obesity. What I am upset about, is the parents who keep stuffing their 2 year old, who weighs as much as a 11 year old, and claims they do not know why their child is obese.

 

One of the parents admits that they were told that their child's life has been shortened, due to her over eating. She told Dr. Phil that she just can't say no to her child when she screams and begs for junk food. Who is the parent?

In my opinion, this is borderline child abuse.:rant:

Edited April 17, 2009 by LUV2EDU

[Jean in Newcastle]

I agree.

[Aggie]

A young girl was taken from her mom for this very reason. Was it in England?

They determined that obesity was a form of child abuse.

[LUV2EDU]

This episode of Maury Show really made me angry. The mother allowed her 120 lb 4 years old (her aunt weighs 120 lbs) to eat a whole pizza by herself.

 

Watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFwBsDZNMl0

[Tree House Academy]

I have seen these type shows before. How sad that is. :(

 

Some kids are definitely just born larger - my best friend growing up weighed 250 pounds when we were 14. She still has to watch what she eats and be very careful as obesity runs in her family and she is framed much bigger than most ladies. It is SAD what she had to deal with as we grew up. I can remember one instance in particular that just CRUSHED her ego and self esteem. She has struggled all her life with self esteem issues over her weight. If only these parents realized what they were doing to their kids. Healthy eating habits start NOW.

[joannqn]

The parents definitely need to get a clue. At the very least, they need someone to come in and teach them how to parent and feed their kids properly.

 

Question for you...

 

Do you still consider it abuse if the child overeats (say 2,000 calorie meal) on rare occasions, is in the 50th percentile for weight, and is active more than 10 hours a week?

[Renai]

A young girl was taken from her mom for this very reason. Was it in England?

They determined that obesity was a form of child abuse.

 

It's happened here in New Mexico about 5 years ago. It was a 100# 3 year old girl.

[Laurel]

I am of the opinion that it is child abuse. To be morbidly obese at 3-5 years old - there's no hope of getting out of that cycle. It makes me so sad for the kids.

 

And I don't understand the mindset of the parents, who have locks on their fridges and cupboards to keep the oreos from their children. Instead of stocking the house with oreos and potato chips, maybe some apples and carrots. And that 3 year old certainly is not driving himself to McDonalds. It's tragic.

[Jean in Newcastle]

The parents definitely need to get a clue. At the very least, they need someone to come in and teach them how to parent and feed their kids properly.

 

Question for you...

 

Do you still consider it abuse if the child overeats (say 2,000 calorie meal) on rare occasions, is in the 50th percentile for weight, and is active more than 10 hours a week?

 

The cases where it has been deemed abuse are not because of overeating per se but because the children are morbidly obese (not just a bit chunky).

[LUV2EDU]

The parents definitely need to get a clue. At the very least, they need someone to come in and teach them how to parent and feed their kids properly.

 

Question for you...

 

Do you still consider it abuse if the child overeats (say 2,000 calorie meal) on rare occasions, is in the 50th percentile for weight, and is active more than 10 hours a week?

 

You used the term "rare occasions". So, my answer is no. Children overeat everyday. This is not what I'm talking about.

 

However, when it becomes a life threatening issue, and the parent neglects to do something about it, then it becomes abuse by neglect.

[dangermom]

 

It's happened here in New Mexico about 5 years ago. It was a 100# 3 year old girl.

Didn't that case turn out to be that she had some odd form of growth disorder? IIRC the mom was working with a doctor and was a very good mom, but the girl was just not an ordinary little girl.

[Renthead Mommy]

When my husband was in private practice dentistry, it used to frustrate him to have parents bring in kids at 2 and 3 and they'd be drinking Mountain Dew and other sodas out of their sippy cups! They don't need soda at all, much less when they are still little enough to have a sippy cup! It was just sad. But then he also saw the dental health of the parents and wasn't always very surprised.

[Pamela H in Texas]

It seemed like there were two issues going on here.

 

The main one is discipline. Did those people REALLY need Dr. Phil to tell them that ALL tantrums eventually end? Honestly, I wouldn't put up with the asking and demanding, much less the tantrums. I would have handled that already. But even if you decided to just ignore it and go on with life, the kid would eventually stop using that as it wouldn't be working!

 

The second issue is what they give the kid. We saw this with my oldest stepdaughter. Her mother and grandmother would give her ANYTHING she wanted. Thing is that no 7yo needs 2 happy meals! One would be bad enough!

 

My daughter was a BIG baby/toddler. I saw children on a Maury show, many many moons ago, the size my daughter was. I think my daughter was like 5 or 6 when I saw the show. I wanted so badly to go on there and tell them that some of those kids weren't doomed to being big. My daughter who was soooooooo big at 1 and 2 was the same size at 5. Sometimes that happens. Of course, I fed her decently, she was outside plenty, started riding a bike as a toddler, tried a few sports, etc.

 

I struggle something awful with my weight. I ballooned up over a two month period when my son was about 5 months old. I've since slowly gained more. I lose the same weight over and over again. Both my kids gained weight due to medication years ago (my son was 8 when his happened. My daughter was 15 when hers happened). They aren't WAY overweight by any stretch but I hate them struggling with their weight. I REALLY hate it.

 

I can't imagine being overweight and allowing, MAKING, my 5yo morbidly obese because I couldn't discipline. These parents KNOW what it's like and yet they do this? Being at a normal weight in jr high is HARD. Being overweight is going to really HURT these kids. And they see it happening on the playground and don't do something?

 

Dr. Phil mentioned a little boy who had been on his show previously. Mom had lost custody of the kid. Dad helped child lose 80 pounds! I'm sure there were some tears but that picture told a thousand words about what it did for that little boy.

 

Parents!

[LUV2EDU]

Didn't that case turn out to be that she had some odd form of growth disorder? IIRC the mom was working with a doctor and was a very good mom, but the girl was just not an ordinary little girl.

 

They should have first checked to see if the child had a medical problem. Since the mother was working with the doctors, she should not have been accused of abuse by neglect.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

What I think is even more tragic than allowing the child to overeat is to - instead of getting the child proper help from qualified psychologists and other medical professionals with experience in these types of cases- bring the child on national television seeking "help" from a talk show host.

[Jenny in Florida]

What I think is even more tragic than allowing the child to overeat is to - instead of getting the child proper help from qualified psychologists and other medical professionals with experience in these types of cases- bring the child on national television seeking "help" from a talk show host.

 

I was thinking that, too!

[DarlaS]

I'm not sure how I would be able to handle that if he was constantly starved.

 

You'd search the net for info about eating disorders (There is one where the person's hunger pangs never go away.)

 

Or call a doctor or a nutritionist. Or a psychologist. Being obsessed with eating (after you've ruled out physical disorders) is a cry out for help. Normal healthy well adjusted people (kids and adults alike) eat to live--not the other way around. Now I'm NOT saying that everyone who is not skinny is not normal or healthy here. Remember we're talking about obesity--not a little baby fat.

 

I don't believe anyone here would just watch while their child gained weight like that. Once it became obvious it wasn't a normal growth spurt, you'd do something.

 

It is not unheard of for small children to die of heart disease. This is not simply a social or cosmetic issue at all.

[Pamela H in Texas]

When my kid tells me he is hungry, I give him food. I'm not sure how I would be able to handle that if he was constantly starved.

 

Are you going to give him, when he's 70 pounds overweight, chips, sausage, and pancakes? Or are you going to give him baby carrots, almonds, and apple slices?

 

And I'm not suggesting those are your only choices...Maybe you'd give protein shakes, cheese sticks and yogurt? Maybe you'd give whatever...but it probably wouldn't be high fat, high sugar, high calorie for every meal and snack.

 

Also, I really think people are confused by what is considered healthy or the right way to eat. I have no idea what is healthy.

 

I *totally* get that. This diet is supposedly best because xyz and this completely opposite one makes complete sense. However, though this is the case, it is WELL-known that mixing them is dangerous, unhealthy, etc. For example, let's say you believe in Atkins type programs. Fine. But if you mix Atkins with grits, ice cream, and doughnuts, there is a BIG problem. If you go believe the low fat/low calorie, you're doing a big disservice to the child by giving him sausage and doughnuts. If you believe you should eat whatever, you'd eat a limited amount of it. Whether one is best or not may be up for debate, but no diet suggests that you can eat unlimited amounts of high fat, simple carbs, high sugar, etc!

 

And then there is the whole exercise thing. Young children should be getting at least FOUR hours of HARD play per day. Sure, a good majority of kids are watching too much tv, spending too much time in a classroom, etc, but there are ways to make sure it happens despite those things. A kid could be getting enough AND still catch their favorite tv show and get their homework done. It has to be a priority for the family though.

 

Anyway, I just think parents have to be responsible. No one is perfect or could be. We all make mistakes (boy do I!), but we have to keep striving to do better. The parenting portrayed is not "good enough." And really, in the cases of the two little kids (I didn't see as much of the older girl), they are really doing a disservice in regards to more than just food. Those children are not learning life skills and tools of proper discipline. They are getting the idea that it's okay to mistreat people, throw fits to their their way, etc.

 

And though generally I don't like talk shows (and catch them rarely), I think that Dr. Phil is more likely to give genuine help than most. At least they weren't on Jerry Springer or something. It sounded, from what I caught of the show, that they were going to have the opportunity to do considerably better. Whether they follow through is another thing, but hopefully they will.

Edited April 17, 2009 by 2J5M9K

[Murphy101]

They should have first checked to see if the child had a medical problem. Since the mother was working with the doctors, she should not have been accused of abuse by neglect.

 

 

unfortunately some doctors don't do their bloomin' job right.

and tend to blame parents for everything.

 

they see a fat kid and play the odds that it's just too much food and too little activity/parenting instead of actually looking at the individual before them

 

same thing happens with "failure to thrive" babies/toddlers. they get stuck on those stupid growth charts and have mom write down every morsel of food rather than consider that some kids are just going to be small no matter what or how much they eat. (and like their mother will "outgrow" that blessing in their mid-30s:D)

 

basicly drs get so jaded seeing all the cr*p they do that some of them start to just assume things instead of practice medicine.

 

and sadly far too many parents give them just cause for doing so.

[Carrie12345]

As a parent, would you withhold food from your child? Your child is telling you they are starving and still hungry and you will just say tough luck? I couldn't do that. When my kid tells me he is hungry, I give him food. I'm not sure how I would be able to handle that if he was constantly starved.

 

 

 

2 of my kids eat ALL DAY LONG, but they've never had weight issues. Our 3 main meals aren't exactly the most amazing or most healthy, but they're adequate. In between, the kids are allowed to eat as many fruits or veggies as they want, for the most part. I have had to keep them from eating 5 bananas in one day! :001_huh:

Granola bars, oatmeal cookies, crackers and whatnot are doled out on a more limited basis.

 

I think the real key is that chips and candy and other junk foods are occasional treats in our house. We don't keep them on hand, they aren't an available option, and they aren't an expectation.

 

My fruit and veggie hater doesn't eat nearly as much as his sisters, because we don't have junk options. If he was REALLY starved, he'd eat an apple!

No guilt here!

[msjones]

A healthy lifestyle requires discipline -- especially if one is accustomed to the relatively low-effort lifestyle of tasty junk food and mostly sedentary days.

 

Once one had the habits of watching the television, playing video games, and eating/serving food that requires no effort to prepare, a complete lifestyle change would be required to become healthy and active.

 

I think that many people simply do not have the internal resources to successfully make that kind of change. I'm not sure that I would. Fortunately, I already have healthy habits. But I do realize how difficult habit change can be.

 

A small example: I got into the habit of eating a big buttery bowl of homemade popcorn about 4 or 5 nights per week. I loved that popcorn. It helped me relax. It was something I looked forward to. It was hard for me to enjoy the book I was reading unless I had that bowl of popcorn.

 

I managed to give it up, but I was amazed at how much determination it took for me to just drop that one habit. It gave me some sympathy for those folks who have a much longer list of bad health habits.

[Danestress]

and I am sure many others who have insurance that would make it difficult and expensive to get the kind of testing that might be necessary to diagnose a disorder like this. I am suspecting that maybe some of these children have something wrong with their brains or glandular systems that makes them feel hungry all the time. I'm sure the testing is expensive, and I bet a lot of medical insurance programs put up road blocks to getting it.

 

Anyway, yes. If I could simply not afford testing, as millions of people can't, I would do what I had to do to get my child some help. I can't imagine going on Nat'l tv. I don't even like making announcements at church, lol. But I don't judge people who can't take a kid for testing, therapy, etc. If they have no money, they have no money. What can they do?

 

I would be wildly anxious to get a child like that to a doctor. My kids (and my husband, and I) all eat all the time. We are terrible over-eaters. We eat healthy meals, but I have to admit that the males in this house have massive sweet teeth, and I have given up on trying to drop sugar. They don't drink soda or juice, but dessert? Every night. We are all thin, but I think a lot of people would be very fat indeed on what what eat.

 

Of course, my children often exercise hard for two hours a day, but again, I can afford to have them in daily swimming or tennis coaching. If we lived in a bad neighborhood and couldn't pay for recreational sports, and if I didn't have a car, I can see how that would make it hard to exercise.

 

Anyway, my first reaction to programs like this is "what the heck is wrong with those parents." But I think sometimes if we try to get into their situation, we see some of the problems.

[Deeke]

When my husband was in private practice dentistry, it used to frustrate him to have parents bring in kids at 2 and 3 and they'd be drinking Mountain Dew and other sodas out of their sippy cups! They don't need soda at all, much less when they are still little enough to have a sippy cup! It was just sad. But then he also saw the dental health of the parents and wasn't always very surprised.

 

When I was a dental asst., I used to see kids in the WAITING ROOM eating bags of chips. Guess who they usually threw up on? UGH!

[dragons in the flower bed]

Honestly, I wouldn't put up with the asking and demanding, much less the tantrums. I would have handled that already. But even if you decided to just ignore it and go on with life, the kid would eventually stop using that as it wouldn't be working!

 

I think you're hitting close to the center of the problem with this comment. No one wants to put all that mental effort into correcting his kid every time she begs. The fastest way to end an annoying tantrum is to give the kid what she wants. People are lazy, and parents are people.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

and I am sure many others who have insurance that would make it difficult and expensive to get the kind of testing that might be necessary to diagnose a disorder like this. I am suspecting that maybe some of these children have something wrong with their brains or glandular systems that makes them feel hungry all the time. I'm sure the testing is expensive, and I bet a lot of medical insurance programs put up road blocks to getting it.

 

Anyway, yes. If I could simply not afford testing, as millions of people can't, I would do what I had to do to get my child some help. I can't imagine going on Nat'l tv. I don't even like making announcements at church, lol. But I don't judge people who can't take a kid for testing, therapy, etc. If they have no money, they have no money. What can they do?

 

I would be wildly anxious to get a child like that to a doctor. My kids (and my husband, and I) all eat all the time. We are terrible over-eaters. We eat healthy meals, but I have to admit that the males in this house have massive sweet teeth, and I have given up on trying to drop sugar. They don't drink soda or juice, but dessert? Every night. We are all thin, but I think a lot of people would be very fat indeed on what what eat.

 

Of course, my children often exercise hard for two hours a day, but again, I can afford to have them in daily swimming or tennis coaching. If we lived in a bad neighborhood and couldn't pay for recreational sports, and if I didn't have a car, I can see how that would make it hard to exercise.

 

Anyway, my first reaction to programs like this is "what the heck is wrong with those parents." But I think sometimes if we try to get into their situation, we see some of the problems.

 

 

Another thing to think about- people who are living in lower income situations often feel as if they can't afford to eat healthy foods. It is easy for them to buy something off the dollar menu and think they are getting a "deal" because a lot of these people live paycheck to paycheck. Some families actually "shop" at the convenience store because they don't have transportation to go to an actual grocer.

[Jenny in Florida]

Another thing to think about- people who are living in lower income situations often feel as if they can't afford to eat healthy foods. It is easy for them to buy something off the dollar menu and think they are getting a "deal" because a lot of these people live paycheck to paycheck. Some families actually "shop" at the convenience store because they don't have transportation to go to an actual grocer.

 

That's true. In this country, it's actually much easier to eat cheaply if you eat junk. That's what goes on sale. That's where most of the coupon opportunities are.

 

It is possible to eat cheaply and well, but it requires a lot of effort.

[dragons in the flower bed]

When my husband was in private practice dentistry, it used to frustrate him to have parents bring in kids at 2 and 3 and they'd be drinking Mountain Dew and other sodas out of their sippy cups!

 

I know a couple who gave their babies and toddlers soda pop. Our conversation about it went like this:

 

"Aren't you worried about his teeth?"

 

"It's not more sugary than juice."

 

"It's the acid, but actually, juice is bad for him, too."

 

"Then why does WIC give us coupons for it?"

 

"Since when does the welfare office do anything helpful for it's clients?"

 

"Well, what is he supposed to drink if not Coke or juice?"

 

"Water?

 

"Water doesn't have any taste. It'd be like drinking nothing."

 

It reminded me of

[yslek]

 

It reminded me of

 

:lol: That was great! I'm showing this to dh when he gets home. :D

 

I didn't see the show in question, but the conversation here reminded me of an event a couple of years ago. BIL came to visit along with a boy that he's become a father figure to (complicated background story). Boy in question is quite large for his age. Whenever he asked for something to eat or drink, he was completely disappointed by my offerings. (Water, milk, a good selection of fruit, ww bread to toast or make a sandwich with, etc.) In the end BIL ended up taking him to a fast food place for a gigantic soda and meal. :001_huh:

 

My family is not the model for healthy eating by any means (too much dessert :tongue_smilie:) and there are times when you're rushed & hungry, and McDonald's looks pretty good. I get that. BUT...junk food every day, as a lifestyle, I don't get. Reminds me of MIL, who has developed diabetes in recent years, and still ALWAYS has little dishes of candy and chips and stuff all over the house. Whenever we visit I inevitably eat way more junk than I need to. :glare: (If it's around, I tend to eat it, even though I know better...what kind of a chance does a kid who doesn't really know better have? :tongue_smilie:) Interestingly, she did grow up in poverty, and grew up eating the cheap, unhealthy foods her family could afford. She still buys the inexpensive "deals", in quantity, because spending more on less (even if healthier/yummier) doesn't make sense to her. I think it could be really difficult to break out of that kind of a thought process.

[Audrey]

I am of the opinion that it is child abuse. To be morbidly obese at 3-5 years old - there's no hope of getting out of that cycle. It makes me so sad for the kids.

 

.

 

I respectfully disagree with you on this. It is far easier to break the cycle when still very young and developing than when older and the body has stagnated.

 

Early intervention would be the best thing for these kids. So, IMO, good on the parents for going on Dr. Phil. It shows a modicum of concern for the kids, and at least Dr. Phil has the resources to offer them continued support to break the cycle that is killing their kids.

[Murphy101]

When my kid tells me he is hungry, I give him food. I'm not sure how I would be able to handle that if he was constantly starved

 

I have total sympathy for getting brain-fried from a constantly crying screaming toddler.

 

BUT

 

let's say you do give in and feed them

 

do you give them a pizza? a bag of chips? a sodapop? a bowl of ice cream? AND make them stay inside sitting on the sofa or in desk all day long

 

OR

 

do you offer a banana and a trip to the zoo? some carrots and a walk to the playground?

 

my honest opinion is that these parents don't get treatment for their kids because very often it's the parents who really need the treatment and they simply don't want to that inconvienenced.

 

I went down and put us on WIC when we found out my dh will be laid off in June.

 

yes the juice is supposedly because kids need it for vit c, but I can't get any milk above 2% because of all the obese kids. this despite the fact that ALL my children are UNDER weight.:001_huh:

 

*sigh* stinks, but there we are and we can't wait to not have it.

 

I buy whole milk at Aldis with our money when the WIC milk runs out. we get about 6 gallons a month, so that's only have 2% milk approx. 1 week out of every 4

[Pongo]

Question for you...

 

Do you still consider it abuse if the child overeats (say 2,000 calorie meal) on rare occasions, is in the 50th percentile for weight, and is active more than 10 hours a week?

 

Nope. My dd plays soccer 4 practices a week (2 hours) and 1-2 games a week. If I add in the amount of time she plays basketball and wiffle ball with her brother she is at about 20 hours a week. If I did not let this child eat and eat and eat she would be wayyyyy to thin. She is 10 years old, almost 5 feet tall, had a 7 and 1/2 woman's shoe and fits into a size 2. She is in the 95% for height and 40% for weight. And yes, she can eat a whole small plain pizza

all by her little ole self:D

I find it to be abuse when the child is obviously struggling to run and play normally, barring any health issues of course.

[Murphy101]

I only buy whole. I think that is just plain dumb. I'd rather give my kid whole milk than juice. But I am sure there are people all around who would scream I have it all wrong. Neither one of my kids has a weight issue (if anything they are too skinny) and I have never bought anything but whole milk.

 

Yeah I hear what you are saying. We hear about all of these dumb parents, I guess I have been lucky enough not to meet any of them. LOL

 

what's really annoying is they are always telling me to put chocolate syrup in the milk!

 

because apparently most families on WIC have kids that refuse to drink milk any other way and WIC wants them to get the calcium and vit D.

 

the gal just blinks like this :blink: when I say my kids either drink milk or water. I have 2 that won't drink anything other than water by choice and only 3 that drink milk. Only 3 kids will touch the juice and they don't drink much of it.

 

ug don't get me started

I can't wait to never use WIC again

but I sure do appreciate the milk, cheese and eggs!:)

[LUV2EDU]

I respectfully disagree with you on this. It is far easier to break the cycle when still very young and developing than when older and the body has stagnated.

 

Early intervention would be the best thing for these kids. So, IMO, good on the parents for going on Dr. Phil. It shows a modicum of concern for the kids, and at least Dr. Phil has the resources to offer them continued support to break the cycle that is killing their kids.

 

Some people wonder why parents choose to go on talk shows for help. They may not have the money to get medical help for their children.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

Some people wonder why parents choose to go on talk shows for help. They may not have the money to get medical help for their children.

 

I can think of many other ways to get medical help without going on a talk show. I can understand the plight of some of these parents, though. They get put up in a hotel and probably even paid for their appearances. I can see how that would be hard to turn down for someone stuck in a less than desirable position in life. But, just because I can understand it, doesn't mean I think it is in the best interest of the children.

 

what's really annoying is they are always telling me to put chocolate syrup in the milk!

 

because apparently most families on WIC have kids that refuse to drink milk any other way and WIC wants them to get the calcium and vit D.

 

My dh and I are not milk drinkers. DD would only drink chocolate milk there for awhile when she was about 2-3 (we used Ovaltine instead of the syrup). Then she went to a b-day party where the kids were served milk. She asked the hostess if she could have chocolate milk, and of course the hostess obliged. I explained to her later how what she did wasn't polite. She then made it her mission to like regular milk in case it was served to her again. She never drinks chocolate milk at home to this day. I should call the WIC people and tell them it CAN be done.

[Murphy101]

My dh and I are not milk drinkers. DD would only drink chocolate milk there for awhile when she was about 2-3 (we used Ovaltine instead of the syrup). Then she went to a b-day party where the kids were served milk. She asked the hostess if she could have chocolate milk, and of course the hostess obliged. I explained to her later how what she did wasn't polite. She then made it her mission to like regular milk in case it was served to her again. She never drinks chocolate milk at home to this day. I should call the WIC people and tell them it CAN be done.

 

I don't even have a problem with chocolate milk. I'd rather they have chocolate milk than soda pop or juice even.

 

What gets me is they refuse to let parents have whole milk for growing kids because apparently they are worried about obesity, yet in the very next breath say to pour chocolate in the milk to get the kid to drink it for the calcium?

 

Now I am aware that being obese does not mean they are getting their nutrients, in fact most of the time they are seriously nutrient deprived b/c junk is not known for giving iron and such!

 

please tell me I am not the only one that sees the idiocy of that circular problem being perpetuated?:001_huh:

 

ug. like I said, don't even get me started....:D

[Desert Rat]

My cousin is one of those parents. She lost her first child to a house fire 12 years ago. Since then she has had 3 beautiful children. Her oldest son and mine are 4 months apart. He weighs 60 pounds more than my son and my son is in the 95% for height and weight. She believes in giving him whatever he wants when he wants it, to excess. This boy eats an entire box of cereal for breakfast. He's not yet nine. He gets king-size candy bars in his lunch. Don't get me started on the big macs he ate when he was 2 or the six pack of coke he drinks a day. It's very sad. He's hit full puberty already because of his weight and has serious problems with his daily functions.

We've all talked to my cousin about his weight. She sees the problem but doesn't like the solution which would be denying her child. FWIW, her middle boy and her little girl do not have a weight problem.

I feel very sad for my cousin because I understand, but don't condone, her behavior. Having never lost a child at all, let alone to a violent death, I cannot imagine her suffering.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that you never know what is behind the parents' motivations. I try to think beyond what they show on TV.

Just my 2 cents.

[Murphy101]

My cousin is one of those parents. She lost her first child to a house fire 12 years ago.

I feel very sad for my cousin because I understand, but don't condone, her behavior. Having never lost a child at all, let alone to a violent death, I cannot imagine her suffering.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that you never know what is behind the parents' motivations. I try to think beyond what they show on TV.

Just my 2 cents.

 

 

see now... from my POV...

if I ever lost a child, I'd probably OCD on keeping them as safe and HEALTHY as I could to avoid any risk of losing another.

 

Not to mention I wouldn't want to deny them happiness.

 

A child that can't play, find clothes that fit, and such very neccessary and normal things is not goign to be happy. Heck, I'm that way because of my last pregnancy/delivery and I'm not happy with it!:)

 

The thing is, to me it HAS to be more than just the eating. There's something wrong when kids don't play. If they were playing, they could probably eat like that without a problem and be skinny or at least not over-weight.

[LUV2EDU]

see now... from my POV...

if I ever lost a child, I'd probably OCD on keeping them as safe and HEALTHY as I could to avoid any risk of losing another.

 

Not to mention I wouldn't want to deny them happiness.

 

A child that can't play, find clothes that fit, and such very neccessary and normal things is not goign to be happy. Heck, I'm that way because of my last pregnancy/delivery and I'm not happy with it!:)

 

The thing is, to me it HAS to be more than just the eating. There's something wrong when kids don't play. If they were playing, they could probably eat like that without a problem and be skinny or at least not over-weight.

 

:iagree:

[JennifersLost]

WIC food is ridiculous all around. It boggles my mind that you get coupons for cr*ppy cheese and peanut butter and not one cent for vegetables.

 

Don't even get me started on juice. My children have grown up on milk or water as our two choices for drinks. You get milk at meal times, water the rest of the time. Soda is a huge treat. Juice is a treat that my husband likes, so it's beginning to be around more than I'd like.

 

Once you start a toddler on juice, they don't want water anymore. Once a kid gets used to three or more cups of juice per day they are going to be well on their way to having a problem with weight and sugar cravings. There is a huge difference between eating fresh fruit and drinking juice. Juice is essentially a concentration of the natural sugar in fruit until it is unnatural. It's okay in moderation, but it's nothing like eating a piece of fruit.

 

In fact, I think a lot of our problem with weight comes from our drinks. There are over 200 calories per can of soda. 120 calories per cup of apple juice. Kids who drink soda or juice exclusively probably drink enough calories to equal a second dinner each day. I have no idea why nutritionists don't talk this up; it should be common knowledge.

[Murphy101]

WIC food is ridiculous all around. It boggles my mind that you get coupons for cr*ppy cheese and peanut butter and not one cent for vegetables.

 

no arguement from me there.

Me and the kids would do a happy dance over fresh produce from WIC!

 

In fact, I think a lot of our problem with weight comes from our drinks. There are over 200 calories per can of soda. 120 calories per cup of apple juice. Kids who drink soda or juice exclusively probably drink enough calories to equal a second dinner each day. I have no idea why nutritionists don't talk this up; it should be common knowledge.

 

I agree!

 

And if you don't give soda and juice, you get a mil like mine who is constantly giving them what I call faux food when we visit.:glare:

you know, everything fake sugar, no fat (which means somethign else added) zero callorie gunk because she thinks I'm nuts against sugar.

I'm not. give them a nice heaping bowl of good old fashioned heavy cream real sugar ice cream next to a slice of honest to goodness chewy brownie and I'm thrilled! (well I am if I get some too!:D)

 

just don't give them fake cr*p and call it healthy food

or give them too much of a good thing to the point they don't have other good things, like a gallon of icecream and no play outside.

[LibraryLover]

When you put yourself and your kids on the line like that, I'm wondering if it's not pure desperation. I am also wondering if some of these folks feel isolated; maybe because where they live is scary and dangerous. It's possible that the people they trust are the people they see on TV. Dr Phil is not going to moleste your kid, fi. And for a lot of people, reaching out to 'professionals' has been one long experience of being treated poorly.

 

In fact, I think calling a talk show like Maury or Dr Phil, who have millions at their disposal, is a very good way of getting straight to the point and some real help. If you can get through with a sad enough story, if your story is bad enough to get this attention, it's likely you'll get some real help.

 

I can imagine people battling ten bus and subway stops to get somewhere like a decent hospital where you might have to waqit for hours. And still have to take ten buses home.

 

Yet. If you call Maury or Phil with a huge issue, you might get the help pronto. No busses, no nasty receptionists, no people looking for money you absolutely do not have; just a nice limo to the clinic.

 

If family in need can get some good help this way, I have no judgement whatsoever.

Edited April 18, 2009 by LibraryLover

[LUV2EDU]

When you put yourself and your kids on the line like that, I'm wondering if it's not pure desperation. I am also wondering if some of these folks feel isolated; maybe because where they live is scary and dangerous. It's possible that the people they trust are the people they see on TV. Dr Phil is not going to moleste your kid, fi. And for a lot of people, reaching out to 'professionals' has been one long experience of being treated poorly.

 

In fact, I think calling a talk show like Maury or Dr Phil, who have millions at their disposal, is a very good way of getting straight to the point and some real help. If you can get through with a sad enough story, if your story is bad enough to get this attention, it's likely you'll get some real help.

 

I can imagine people battling ten bus and subway stops to get somewhere like a decent hospital where you might have to waqit for hours. And still have to take ten buses home.

 

Yet. If you call Maury or Phil with a huge issue, you might get the help pronto. No busses, no nasty receptionists, no people looking for money you absolutely do not have; just a nice limo to the clinic.

 

If family in need can get some good help this way, I have no judgement whatsoever.

 

People may not agree with the way the parents are trying to get help (talk shows), but at least it is a start. It is better to do something than nothing at all.

Edited April 18, 2009 by LUV2EDU

[MamaBirdX7]

Childhood obesity makes me so sad. We don't have a perfect diet, but so far my children have maintained an average weight.

 

I have one child that would love to eat carbs non-stop all day, every day. I try to focus on food groups with this child: "You've had enough from the breads/cereals group, you need to have dairy or a vegetables because you need variety get all your vitamins."

 

As for WIC - in my state we are allowed to get V8 in addition to the fruit juices. I generally always get V8 and I use it when I make stew.

[krystal70]

WIC food is ridiculous all around. It boggles my mind that you get coupons for cr*ppy cheese and peanut butter and not one cent for vegetables.

 

We were on WIC in PA while hubby was in Korea and we were given coupons to use at the produce markets in the farming areas. Maybe it depends on the state?? I was able to get fresh fruits and vegs. depending on what was in season.

 

 

In fact, I think a lot of our problem with weight comes from our drinks. There are over 200 calories per can of soda. 120 calories per cup of apple juice.

:iagree:

 

As for the juice thing, I used it but always did a mix of 1 part juice and 2 parts water so they did not have full juice at all. Mostly I gave them the milk though and to this day they go through milk like crazy!

 

My SIL during this time was on WIC as well and she drove me up the wall with the full juice thing and putting soda in the her son's bottle/sippy cup!! Since we all lived in the same house at the time, it was a constant battle because then my kids wanted the soda and then if I explained to them why they could not have it I was accused of talking bad about SIL's parenting! :confused::banghead: (it was my fault that she felt bad because my kids ran to me at the end to the day and hers did not??? arrgghhh)

 

[Chris in VA]

I think a lot of the problem stems from the parents' discomfort with making their child uncomfortable, and from the "live in the moment" mentality in our society. They can't truly see that it's better to say no to the immediate desire in order to be able to gain something valuable (health/wellbeing) in the long run.

I think it's nearly the same issue with kids whose parents placate their kids instead of disciplining them so they don't have to hear them whine, moan, cry, etc. for other reasons.

I think it's less a food issue than a problem with boundaries. I've experienced my kids' emotions as my own, and that is inappropriate bonding. It's crippling.

[MomtoCandJ]

They are changing WIC nation wide as of October 1st. When you get your new vouchers you "should" have some for like 6.00 a month for fresh fruits and veggies :). I always feel bad when I see a child who is obese, you can only do so much as a child when if you say your hungry, your parents drive to KFC or Mcdonald's, or you say you want to go outside to play and your parents tell you to hush up and watch tv