At what age would you leave your kids ...

[Haiku]

... home asleep in bed while you took your husband to the bus stop (you'd be gone for 15 minutes)?

 

Disclaimer ... I am NOT considering doing this with my 7 and 6 year olds now, but I am looking ahead to the future. I was thinking maybe when they are 10 and 9?

 

Tara

[Snickerdoodle]

:)

Edited February 17, 2009 by Snickerdoodle

[Parrothead]

I think it would depend on how mature they are, and if they feel they are ready for it.

 

I can leave dd home alone for 10 minutes to run to the store during the day. But on those days I've had to get up at the crack of dawn to take dh to work, dd has so far always wanted to be awakened to go with me.

 

So at 9 she isn't ready for that yet.

[Erica in PA]

I leave my 12 year old to watch my 8 and 6 year olds for a couple hours at a time, but only when he's awake. I'd be a little more concerned about leaving them when they're all asleep, in case there would be an emergency they would sleep through. I'm not sure when I'll be comfortable with that, but it's not yet.

[Pamela H in Texas]

It so depends on the kids involved that I don't think I can even give a range of ages.

 

You might start with your law. Some states have times when kids can't be home alone and time they should be sleeping might be covered in that. And then you also know at what age you dont have to worry about "busybodies."

 

I had a question about something and called CPS for clarification. They were very nice. They thought it silly that we called (since A LOT of people do what we were wondering was okay), but it was helpful to have called them (we had a situation come up just a few weeks later).

 

So you might consider "checking" when you finally feel comfy for your kids.

[momofkhm]

for those little trips. But I don't think I would leave them asleep that age. But dh and I tend to be on the overprotective side of things.

 

Now I leave my kids to go swim in the mornings. DH and I leave at 5:30 and I get back home around 7. My 8 yo is up, the girls are still sleeping. I also leave either of the older 2 in charge while I run errands, go on a date with dh, etc. Well, not the 11 yo except to go to the store. But that's more her right now than me.

[Oak Knoll Mom]

This fall I'll be leaving my two oldest (who will be 9 & 7 by then) at home doing schoolwork while I take the youngest to preschool. The preschool is at the entrance to my neighborhood and I'll be gone 7-10 minutes total. I'll make sure they know what to do and who to call if I'm not back right away. They will also not be allowed to leave the table, answer the phone, or go to the door. They are very responsible boys and I'm not at all concerned about them getting into trouble.

 

You just really have to know your kids and your neighborhood. We're at the end of a cul de sac with neighbors we know and trust.

[Laura Corin]

Calvin is extremely responsible. Hobbes is not so reliable. I have been leaving Calvin alone (awake) for a few years, but have only just started leaving them both together for an hour while I walk, and haven't left Hobbes alone. We've never left them asleep - both are heavy sleepers, and I'm not sure how well they would cope in an emergency if befuddled.

 

Laura

[G5052]

The fire scenario is unlikely but upsetting enough that I'd want a kid that could safely handle it without me. A friend was burned out several years ago, and they had less than 8 minutes from when the smoke detectors went off until the whole house was in flames. Thankfully she and her husband were up watching TV and got everyone out.

[In The Great White North]

I had to wait even longer.

 

My oldest is a really, really heavy sleeper. When the house across the street burned down (with flashing lights, sirens, people yelling and we could feel the heat inside ours), he was hard to wake up. And the flames were three stories high before the FD showed up. He would never have gotten out.

 

I had to wait for the younger ones to be old enough to know what to do.

 

We started leaving him while he was awake around 11 (not baby-sitting,just him alone.)

[angela in ohio]

The oldest would have to be 12, and they would have to be awake. We leave our 12, 10, and 6 yo home alone for up to two hours during daylight hours only, and she (the 12 yo) is extremely mature and has had training.

[lionfamily1999]

I'm not sure I would slip out while they were sleeping. There's always the fear they'd wake up, not know where we are and freak out.

 

Otherwise... I leave ds (7) home while I run errands (hour, tops) and dd has been home alone for short periods since she was about the same age. Ds (2), however, goes with me everywhere. I do not leave him alone with his sibs.

[lynn]

... home asleep in bed while you took your husband to the bus stop (you'd be gone for 15 minutes)?

 

Disclaimer ... I am NOT considering doing this with my 7 and 6 year olds now, but I am looking ahead to the future. I was thinking maybe when they are 10 and 9?

 

Tara

 

 

Whatever you feel comfortable with. Like you, I would not leave my 7 year old but 9 and 10 would be okay. Anything under an hour I am okay with. Be sure to tell them the night before that if they wake up and your not there to know where you went or call your cell phone if they are ones to panic.

[Kelli in TN]

I don't leave kids under 12 home alone at all. I also do not leave kids home without waking up the oldest one first.

 

 

ETA-I will leave younger kids home with a sibling who is 12 or older. But I won't leave my 11 year old in charge, for example.

[Haiku]

Here's a little more on the situation. We take my dh to the bus stop every morning. My ds is usually awake long before we leave. My dd has to be woken up to go about half the time. In three more years, I don't really know what their sleeping patterns will be, but I was thinking that, if they happen to sleep in later, they would probably appreciate being able to do so instead of being woken to go along.

 

But then again, I have no idea what they will be like in three years. It was more of an idle question, really. I don't leave them home alone at all right now. If the dog gets out (which he is known to, on occasion) and I have to chase him around, I make them come outside onto the porch or into the back yard so that, even if I am down the street, we are still within yelling distance of each other.

 

The other option is to make my dh ride his bike to the bus stop, which would benefit everyone. ;)

 

Tara

[Joanne]

The oldest child would have to be double digits and the youngest school aged.

 

At that point, I'd consider it, depending on neighborhood, child, etc.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Interestingly, I would leave my 11yo home alone (and in charge) before I would leave my 12 yo in the same situation. My 11ds is just much more "aware" and responsible than my 12dd (who tends to get lost in her art or a book, and doesn't pay attention to what is going on around her). Also, 11ds is better at actively playing with his little sister, whereas the 12dd has no "maternal instincts", and really doesn't have a clue how to play with a three year old.

 

Every kids is different.

 

Oh, and I have no problem leaving my sleeping children if I need to be gone in the early morning. They all sleep in the same room, and they know the neighbors, etc.

[Colleen]

The other option is to make my dh ride his bike to the bus stop, which would benefit everyone.

 

That's exactly what I was going to suggest.:) I'm not what one would call over-protective but I wouldn't feel good about your scenario because the children would be sleeping. Since it's such a short distance to the bus stop, the logical thing imo is for your dh to just cycle over there.

[StephanieF]

Is there no law in the US which sets an age? In the UK I don't think there is a set age but I understand that the authorities regard the minimum to be 11 years. I would leave an 11 yr old on his own for an hr during the day but not at night and not with a younger sibling, however sensible.

Stephanie

[Ferdie]

Is there no law in the US which sets an age? In the UK I don't think there is a set age but I understand that the authorities regard the minimum to be 11 years. I would leave an 11 yr old on his own for an hr during the day but not at night and not with a younger sibling, however sensible.

Stephanie

 

I think the ages laws are by state. In Texas, a child has to be 10 or older to be left home alone.

[Amy in OH]

I would leave my 11yo home asleep as long as I told him that night before, in case he woke up. For 15 minutes, I would probably be OK with leaving my 9yo with him, except she's a mommy's girl and would freak out.

 

My 11yo is very mature and prefers to be home alone instead of running errands with me. I have left him for several hours at a time and call him each hour. He has no problems calling my cell phone to check in or to request food from somewhere. :)

Amy

[RebeccaS]

Is there no law in the US which sets an age? In the UK I don't think there is a set age but I understand that the authorities regard the minimum to be 11 years. I would leave an 11 yr old on his own for an hr during the day but not at night and not with a younger sibling, however sensible.

Stephanie

 

The laws are set (or not set as the case may be) by each state. I live in Ohio and as far as I can find, there is no set age. You just have to assess the situation and decide-if CPS were to knock on my door, would they think this is child endangering.;) Personally, I'm overly cautious, so I'd wait quite a bit to leave mine home. My oldest has always leaned towards mothering and responsible. But, even if she were older, I could see a problem of the younger sibs listening to her.:D

[bettyandbob]

My two olders could handle this at 10. I would tell them what time I was taking dad to the bus stop the night before. I would go over what they are to do if they wake up, if there was an emergency during that short time, etc. I would leave a note where they would find it to remind them we were gone and when I'd be back (taped to the bathroom door, if that's their first stop in the morning). And of course my children know my cell and my dh's cell.

 

I would not leave a younger child, saying that older child who is asleep is in charge. My youngest has disabilities, so I doubt I'll ever be leaving the house in the morning with no one awake while he sleeps.

[MamaT]

I would leave my 11yo asleep if I told her the night before. She is very mature and responsible. I have left her to go grocery shopping, etc.

 

I would not leave my two younger dc with her for more than 10-15 minutes, though, as they are too close in age to really listen to her or take instruction from her.

 

I have a 15yo ds that I do leave all three youngers with for date night, errands, etc. He and my 11yo know what to do in case of emergency.

 

One night, a date night, my dh and I got a call from our 15yo that there was a man in our driveway who ran up in the woods. The kids saw him twice. W live on the side of a mountain with nothing around us, so no reason for him to be there. He had already called 911, the doors were locked, and we went straight home. It was unnerving to see sheriff's cars circling our property and in our driveway when we got home, but he did the right thing. It was a long time before I left them again after that.

[lionfamily1999]

The laws are set (or not set as the case may be) by each state. I live in Ohio and as far as I can find, there is no set age. You just have to assess the situation and decide-if CPS were to knock on my door, would they think this is child endangering.;) Personally, I'm overly cautious, so I'd wait quite a bit to leave mine home. My oldest has always leaned towards mothering and responsible. But, even if she were older, I could see a problem of the younger sibs listening to her.:D

You should check by locallity. That's how it's done here. The local police and SS both say it's up to the parents. Northern VA has a pretty high latch key population too.

[KidsHappen]

I left my olders when they were 11 but my current 12 year old is not ready. It really depends on the child.

[sheryl]

It's imperative you check into what your state law dictates. Here in NC the child must be 12, unless the age changed and I didn't know it. I'd check into your state law. You do not want to mention anything to the contrary to neigbors as they may call child services.

 

HTH!

 

 

... home asleep in bed while you took your husband to the bus stop (you'd be gone for 15 minutes)?

 

Disclaimer ... I am NOT considering doing this with my 7 and 6 year olds now, but I am looking ahead to the future. I was thinking maybe when they are 10 and 9?

 

Tara

[missplacedalaskan]

When Dd was about 8 I would leave her home alone with the sleeping baby while I ran an errand right up the road...gone for 20 minutes TOPS. Dd was very responsible and knew what to do if there was an emergency. I didn't start leaving her to babysit till she was 13 and we would stay w/in a 10 minute drive to the house.

 

I have left all the kids in bed, but I always wake Dd up to let her know that I am leaving and where I am going. That way if anyone wakes up and we aren't home she isn't scared.

[KLynnTX]

I think the ages laws are by state. In Texas, a child has to be 10 or older to be left home alone.

 

 

There is no definite law in Texas stating how old a child must be, to be left at home alone.

[angela in ohio]

There are two different issues that get confused. One is the actual law, and one is the guideline that Children's Protective Services or other authorities will use in your state/county. In the absence of a law, parents still cannot leave children home at an age that is considered neglectful, unless they wish to take the risk that no one will ever find out.

[Oak Knoll Mom]

It's imperative you check into what your state law dictates. Here in NC the child must be 12, unless the age changed and I didn't know it. I'd check into your state law. You do not want to mention anything to the contrary to neigbors as they may call child services.

 

HTH!

 

Could you tell me where you got this info? I can't find it anywhere. Thanks.

[Ferdie]

There is no definite law in Texas stating how old a child must be, to be left at home alone.

 

I was told the Texas law was age 10 by an employee of our local hs store, Home Educators Resource. This was 2 years ago, when we first moved to Texas. I'm not sure what she meant if there is no such law. Weird!

[Peela]

I dont live in the U.S. where the crime rate is much higher than here in Australia, but I wouldn't have a problem doing that with 5 and 6 years olds, myself. Or when they were awake. Dh and I often went for walks alone leaving the kids home alone watching a video, when they were quite young.

However I have a step dd I would never have left alone at that age. My kids are very down to earth and not "naughty" or the sort that got into trouble, or drank poison or anything. My step dd is 20 and still cant be trusted (she is ADD though)!. I think you have a gut feeling about your own kids and whether they might get into mishief when you were away or not.

I am often surprised by these threads as dh and I would even go for a couple of hours when the kids were 9 or 10.