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Prayers for Fil


saraha
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Went to er with severe vertigo and nausea. Heart rate is at 50 resting. Running tests. Thought originally might be dehydration but several hours of iv fluids not making a difference. Today is last day for aide, sil didn’t follow up on the two numbers aide gave her as potential replacements yet and bil has covid in his house. I think the wheels are about to come off for a while.

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Has he had vertigo before? If it’s just the vertigo (which causes vomiting as well), it might be worth suggesting they do the Epley maneuver to see if it helps resolve it. One of my elderly parents had to go to the ER with the same symptoms and that (and anti vomiting/nausea meds) helped so much. 
 

Im sorry all these things are happening at once and hope your FIL feels better quickly. That is miserable. 

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@KSeraHe has not. I guess several hours ago they gave him some kind of anti-dizzy medication (getting this second hand) but he was still, a few minutes ago when I was there dropping of dh, too dizzy to sit up right or stand and his heart rate is in the upper 40s. Waiting on all the results of the tests and ct scan.

Edited by saraha
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I am so sorry to hear this, Saraha. Many hugs!

I do think you are rights about the wheels coming off. Mama needs a staff, and likely whatever is wrong with papa has been exacerbated by the refusal to place her in a facility. It is on sil for refusing to follow up on care givers. So my advice as always is let it go. Let the wheels come off and the whole thing crash on sil. Have dh talk to pop's medical team to see if they will put a bug in the ear of the social worker to go tell him he can no longer care for mum. Otherwise, just try to breath in and out, let it go, keep on with your life which is of course, a lot easier said than done.

Love and good thoughts to you, your family, and fil.

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3 hours ago, saraha said:

@KSeraHe has not. I guess several hours ago they gave him some kind of anti-dizzy medication (getting this second hand) but he was still, a few minutes ago when I was there dropping of dh, too dizzy to sit up right or stand and his heart rate is in the upper 40s. Waiting on all the results of the tests and ct scan.

Is it possible be incorrectly doses his medications, or forgot he took them and took it again? Just assuming he may be on regular meds at his age. This has always been one of our concerns, that our elders would improperly take their regular meds. 

Edited by Grace Hopper
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18 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said:

Is it possible be incorrectly doses his medications, or forgot he took them and took it again? Just assuming he may be on regular meds at his age. This has always been one of our concerns, that our elders would improperly take their regular meds. 

This is a good thought, one I hope the medical team is already looking at. A beta blocker, for example, could cause both dizziness and bradycardia if overdosed.

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Poor guy, after 3 doses of whatever anti-dizzy medicine he was able to stand up and walk with help to the bathroom. Still no word on cause, he had ct and ct with contrast yesterday. Doctor came in today and ordered an x ray. They’ve pretty much ruled out coronary issues or stroke. Now looking at neck before deciding it’s regular vertigo. Keeping him another night for observation. If nothing else comes up they will release him and he needs to see his own doctor and if it’s vertigo, could clear up by midweek. He’s in good spirits and honestly I’m sure he’s getting better rest in the hospital than he was at home.

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FWIW.   My BIL had this happen, several times. It was DX as vertigo. He was given a med to calm it down when it happened. The last time it happened ( October )he was out of town and ended up at a hospital in Rochester. A new symptom was his voice changed into a very scary almost evil sound. Apparently that is a known but uncommon symptom of strokes. Paramedics got him transported immediately when they heard it. 
They decided he had been having strokes all along, not vertigo.
New meds and he is doing well. 

Edited by KatieJ
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Oh my! That sounds frightening. I’ve never heard of the voice change as a stroke sign.

Fil did have a mini stroke about 4 years ago. Not sure how it was diagnosed. They told sil they’ve pretty much ruled out stroke, but will definitely keep that information in the back of my mind 

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30 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said:

Hmmm I thought vertigo was a symptom rather than a cause. Glad he seems to be doing better. 

That was the same thought I had when reading it. If he continues to have vertigo, you might see if you have a vestibular therapist nearby. They would help determine the actual cause of the vertigo and what treatment might be most effective. I don't suppose you know whether he's having the room spinning/tilting feeling of vertigo or the lightheaded feeling of dizziness?

Is he safe to get up from bed to use the bathroom without supervision currently?

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2 hours ago, YaelAldrich said:

Is he going to listen to the doctor and not drive? Because from previous actions I'm kinda worried he might just get back on the road. 

That’s what everyone is worried about. He also told him no stairs but he broke that as soon as he got home. His decision making skills are not on point. Found out today that he took mil to church last Sunday dressed but with no shoes on and didn’t realize it til she was limping over the gravel parking lot. He took her all the way into church that way and all the way back out when it was over.  sil let that slip today, so just wonder how many other bonehead things he has done that we don’t know about. Dh was like how are none of you embarrassed about this?!? Most of all fil?!?

I am even more concerned about the driving as there is no plan for care other than who can come over when. So time with just the two of them there. I hadn’t volunteered at all, but sil did ask dh if I planned to come over and cook their meals for the week, which I am.

1 hour ago, KSera said:

That was the same thought I had when reading it. If he continues to have vertigo, you might see if you have a vestibular therapist nearby. They would help determine the actual cause of the vertigo and what treatment might be most effective. I don't suppose you know whether he's having the room spinning/tilting feeling of vertigo or the lightheaded feeling of dizziness?

Is he safe to get up from bed to use the bathroom without supervision currently?

Getting out of bed and to bathroom with at lost a walker was the requirement to go home. He says today feels so much better than yesterday.

Edited by saraha
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I suggested that to dh, but he said sil will not agree to that because she is afraid fil will get mad.  So if I took them while I was over there, sil would not back me up.

Edited by saraha
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2 hours ago, saraha said:

I suggested that to dh, but he said sil will not agree to that because she is afraid fil will get mad.  So if I took them while I was over there, sil would not back me up.

Some fights are worth fighting. FIL isn’t just putting himself in danger by driving, he’s putting everyone on the road in danger. Would it be possible for your dh to take the keys, and then deal with his sister and his father? I know his vision may not allow that, but if it does, I really think he should. Dealing with the anger now would be easier than coping with the guilt and grief if there were an accident.

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She’s doing fine. The evening he went to the hospital I went and stayed with her. She watched me make dinner and then took a wild hair and “washed” the dishes and wiped the counter, so that was something. She didn’t ask about him at all while I was there, not sure if she did any day after that. 

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17 hours ago, saraha said:

I suggested that to dh, but he said sil will not agree to that because she is afraid fil will get mad.  So if I took them while I was over there, sil would not back me up.

OH is a state where a physician or rehab facility can fill out a form for the BMV & they will investigate for canceling one's driver's license. From what I've heard, it's not a lengthy process. 

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I looked at that yesterday and when reading it it felt like a lengthy process. Something 60-90 days after notification they will have to take a drivers test? And they only guarantee anonymity to the doctor, not anyone else. It says you must be prepared to sign a release statement knowing your name will be shared. Unless I didn’t understand what I was reading correctly.

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14 hours ago, saraha said:

I looked at that yesterday and when reading it it felt like a lengthy process. Something 60-90 days after notification they will have to take a drivers test? And they only guarantee anonymity to the doctor, not anyone else. It says you must be prepared to sign a release statement knowing your name will be shared. Unless I didn’t understand what I was reading correctly.

Would the doctor do it? I'd rather go for that 2-3 months than do nothing. Especially if the keys can't magically disappear. 

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1 hour ago, QueenCat said:

Would the doctor do it? I'd rather go for that 2-3 months than do nothing. Especially if the keys can't magically disappear. 

We had to disable the vehicle. Keys left with the elder but the car just wouldn't start. After a few weeks of that we had it towed to the “repair shop,” where it took forever to be fixed. 

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5 minutes ago, saraha said:

He said he hopes that he listens to the ER doctor and doesn’t drive til cleared by pc on Friday. He doesn’t feel like he needs to stop driving if the pc clears him. 

I see.

It’s a tough call for families, no question. Do you think the pc has all the information he needs to make an informed decision about FIL’s driving safety?

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8 minutes ago, saraha said:

I don’t know. I’m not privy to that. I do know that sil and bil are going with him to the doctor. 


It’s got to be terribly frustrating being on the sidelines, watching this train wreck, without the ability to fix things. Sending hugs for you.

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