Introvert hosting guests

[Elizabeth86]

I’m going to be having family over today and I am less than thrilled. I love the people dearly, but my introverted ways makes me hate having people in my space.  My anxiety is through the roof and I just want this over! Just needed to share that. 

[YaelAldrich]

I don't "like" it. I empathize with you and hope you can take some short breathers in a bathroom or kitchen.

[Pawz4me]

I empathize, too. I can generally handle hosting, but I start thinking "can y'all go ahead and leave now?" after the first hour. Sometimes less. 😉 

[marbel]

3 minutes ago, YaelAldrich said:

I don't "like" it. I empathize with you and hope you can take some short breathers in a bathroom or kitchen.

Same! 

I have loved hosting people but I always find a way to escape to the kitchen from time to time. And for me, a group is better than one-on-one as I do t have to carry the conversation so much.

Hugs to you! I hope you have a lovely day! 

[Elizabeth86]

14 minutes ago, YaelAldrich said:

I don't "like" it. I empathize with you and hope you can take some short breathers in a bathroom or kitchen.

Yes! Baby is going to be extra hungry today! 😂

[KrissiK]

I don’t mind hosting. I’d rather host than go to parties as an introvert because at least as a host you can always find something to do. Fill glasses, check on food, make sure the bathroom is tidy, any number of things that can take you away from socializing. When you go to a party, you have to talk with people.

[Elizabeth86]

2 minutes ago, KrissiK said:

I don’t mind hosting. I’d rather host than go to parties as an introvert because at least as a host you can always find something to do. Fill glasses, check on food, make sure the bathroom is tidy, any number of things that can take you away from socializing. When you go to a party, you have to talk with people.

Not me. I have never liked people in my house ever. I can socialize all day out and about, but I feel so anxious with people in my home. Always have. And I LOVE spending time with this family just not on my territory.

Edited December 20, 2023 by Elizabeth86

[KrissiK]

3 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Not me. I have never liked people in my house ever. I can socialize all day out and about, but I feel so anxious with people in my home. Always have. And I LOVE spending time with this family just not on my territory.

Interesting. Introversion takes a lot of different forms. I don’t mind people coming over to my house, but I would rather chew my arm off than go to a party unless it was small and intimate and I knew everyone there.

Edited December 20, 2023 by KrissiK

[Kassia]

Is it terrible that I feel this way about my adult kids?  I'm an introvert and having all of my kids and their SOs for an extended stay during the holidays makes me a mess.  I love them, but having so many adults under one roof is just too much for me.  They are here for over two weeks this time and are already starting to talk about another long stay in the spring/summer.  I'm thinking, "Please just let me get through this visit before thinking about the next."  I feel like an awful mom for feeling this way.  

We don't have enough bedrooms, bathrooms, or refrigerator space.  We have many different food preferences and different sleep/wake schedules.  We do things differently in the kitchen, too.  I just feel like everything has been taken over, my entire routine is disrupted, everything is loud and messy and out of my control.  I'm okay with it for a long weekend, but 2+ weeks is really exhausting.  Everyone turns to me for everything, "where is this?  what are we having for dinner?  what are we doing tonight?"  Sometimes I feel like I'm running an all-inclusive resort.  I'm lucky that DH is a huge huge help and is really supportive of me.

Sorry to derail your thread.  Just wanted to say I understand and got carried away.  

@Elizabeth86  good luck today!  

 

Edited December 20, 2023 by Kassia

[wisdomandtreasures]

Yikes, I'm so sorry! 

[fairfarmhand]

22 minutes ago, Kassia said:

Is it terrible that I feel this way about my adult kids?  I'm an introvert and having all of my kids and their SOs for an extended stay during the holidays makes me a mess.  I love them, but having so many adults under one roof is just too much for me.  They are here for over two weeks this time and are already starting to talk about another long stay in the spring/summer.  I'm thinking, "Please just let me get through this visit before thinking about the next."  I feel like an awful mom for feeling this way.  

We don't have enough bedrooms, bathrooms, or refrigerator space.  We have many different food preferences and different sleep/wake schedules.  We do things differently in the kitchen, too.  I just feel like everything has been taken over, my entire routine is disrupted, everything is loud and messy and out of my control.  I'm okay with it for a long weekend, but 2+ weeks is really exhausting.  Everyone turns to me for everything, "where is this?  what are we having for dinner?  what are we doing tonight?"  Sometimes I feel like I'm running an all-inclusive resort.  I'm lucky that DH is a huge huge help and is really supportive of me.

Sorry to derail your thread.  Just wanted to say I understand and got carried away.  

 

I know you didn't ask for suggestions, but I also have adult kids (though they're local so they don't come in and stay) and they are very fine with taking responsibility for certain things. 

So maybe assign "your night to cook" for each couple with a schedule posted on the fridge?  And have a dry erase calendar for the to-dos so that people don't have to ask you? I think the essential household questions wear me out when different people have asked the same questions repeatedly. 

[Kassia]

23 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

I know you didn't ask for suggestions, but I also have adult kids (though they're local so they don't come in and stay) and they are very fine with taking responsibility for certain things. 

So maybe assign "your night to cook" for each couple with a schedule posted on the fridge?  And have a dry erase calendar for the to-dos so that people don't have to ask you? I think the essential household questions wear me out when different people have asked the same questions repeatedly. 

Thank you.  I don't know if my family is just weird or it's normal to have this many different food differences, but it's very hard to come up with meals that everyone will eat.  For a stay this long, it takes DH and I a long time to plan meals that will make most people happy and don't involve a lot of cooking/cleaning/shopping for us.  I don't know how it would work with the kids taking that over - I feel like they'd make something that only half of us would eat.  We are doing take out for a few meals, but dd and ds3 don't like take out so they just make their own food here.  Ds1 doesn't like certain foods taken out so we just avoid those when he's here.  

[Pawz4me]

1 hour ago, Kassia said:

Is it terrible that I feel this way about my adult kids?  I'm an introvert and having all of my kids and their SOs for an extended stay during the holidays makes me a mess.  I love them, but having so many adults under one roof is just too much for me.  They are here for over two weeks this time and are already starting to talk about another long stay in the spring/summer.  I'm thinking, "Please just let me get through this visit before thinking about the next."  I feel like an awful mom for feeling this way.  

We don't have enough bedrooms, bathrooms, or refrigerator space.  We have many different food preferences and different sleep/wake schedules.  We do things differently in the kitchen, too.  I just feel like everything has been taken over, my entire routine is disrupted, everything is loud and messy and out of my control.  I'm okay with it for a long weekend, but 2+ weeks is really exhausting.  Everyone turns to me for everything, "where is this?  what are we having for dinner?  what are we doing tonight?"  Sometimes I feel like I'm running an all-inclusive resort.  I'm lucky that DH is a huge huge help and is really supportive of me.

Sorry to derail your thread.  Just wanted to say I understand and got carried away.  

@Elizabeth86  good luck today!  

 

DH and I are the same way with DS#1. DS#2 still lives with us, but he's a very quiet, laid back introvert, even more than DH and I are. So he's very easy for us to live with. But DS#1 is the sole extrovert of the family. Everything he does is loud, from talking (almost constantly) to moving to making a sandwich. We love him to bits, but we're always relieved to get back to our much quieter life after he leaves. And to be fair I suspect he thinks we're incredibly boring, and he's ready to get back to his middle-of-the-big-city apartment. 😉 

[kbutton]

16 minutes ago, Kassia said:

I don't know how it would work with the kids taking that over - I feel like they'd make something that only half of us would eat. 

It’s totally appropriate for them to solve this amongst themselves. They should each say what their particular needs and come up with a suitable menu.

And taking turns can still allow for a “point” person to cook, etc. Someone can be in charge of prep or dishes, for is instance.

Consider taking a picture of what goes in each cupboard or making a tag that lists items that tend to hide easily (can opener).

If I was one of your kids and knew this was that big of a problem, I would want to help solve it. 

There are some family dynamics around things like food that I wish I had agitated to change earlier on, and now it’s not ideal. I think my parents wish they had spoken up sooner too, but we almost never see the other part of the family that we find it challenging to work around now, so it’s probably moot. In our case, we have someone that takes over everything and zips around in a literally unsafe manner in the kitchen with hot things and sharp things and has literally taken tasks out of people’s hands. She thinks if she’s busy, she’s productive, which is true in a brute force way but doesn’t mean that others aren’t working very hard to accommodate her, and no one gets to work together in relative peace! 

[kbutton]

6 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

DH and I are the same way with DS#1. DS#2 still lives with us, but he's a very quiet, laid back introvert, even more than DH and I are. So he's very easy for us to live with. But DS#1 is the sole extrovert of the family. Everything he does is loud, from talking (almost constantly) to moving to making a sandwich. We love him to bits, but we're always relieved to get back to our much quieter life after he leaves. And to be fair I suspect he thinks we're incredibly boring, and he's ready to get back to his middle-of-the-big-city apartment. 😉 

We have lots of loud introverts in our family.

I feel like introversion and sensitivity have been forever equated since that book came out (Quiet, I think it’s called).

Either way, that sounds exhausting! 

[fairfarmhand]

1 hour ago, Kassia said:

Thank you.  I don't know if my family is just weird or it's normal to have this many different food differences, but it's very hard to come up with meals that everyone will eat.  For a stay this long, it takes DH and I a long time to plan meals that will make most people happy and don't involve a lot of cooking/cleaning/shopping for us.  I don't know how it would work with the kids taking that over - I feel like they'd make something that only half of us would eat.  We are doing take out for a few meals, but dd and ds3 don't like take out so they just make their own food here.  Ds1 doesn't like certain foods taken out so we just avoid those when he's here.  

I know that I would be mortified if I found out that the visits that I was enjoying were really taxing to my mom. And my adult children would feel the same and would be happy to pitch in to make it less so. Of course, there is a certain level of difficulty that multiple people in a "too small for this many people house" for a couple of weeks will always bring, so if they CAN minimize or lessen certain difficult aspects of their visits they may be super happy to do that for you. 

[Kassia]

1 minute ago, fairfarmhand said:

I know that I would be mortified if I found out that the visits that I was enjoying were really taxing to my mom. And my adult children would feel the same and would be happy to pitch in to make it less so. Of course, there is a certain level of difficulty that multiple people in a "too small for this many people house" for a couple of weeks will always bring, so if they CAN minimize or lessen certain difficult aspects of their visits they may be super happy to do that for you. 

I know you're right about all of that.  They don't want to be a burden at all.  A lot of it is my own fault for wanting everything to be perfect for them.  Many of them use their vacation time to come here and I want to make it as pleasant as possible, but then end up being an anxious and exhausted mess so I'm unpleasant to be around.  Not ideal. 

[dsmith]

I totally get it. We host Christmas eve, and it's a zoo. Every morning this week I've been waking up with a churning stomach. Christmas day was supposed to be just the 5 of us, but dh's uncle decided to come with three friends. If it had been him and just one of the women who is really sweet and quiet I would have been fine. The other two women are loud and a bit too much for me, although they are very nice. I can't wait until late evening of the 25th. That's my favorite time of the year - after everyone leaves and dh and I can relax.

[Elizabeth86]

2 hours ago, Kassia said:

Is it terrible that I feel this way about my adult kids?  I'm an introvert and having all of my kids and their SOs for an extended stay during the holidays makes me a mess.  I love them, but having so many adults under one roof is just too much for me.  They are here for over two weeks this time and are already starting to talk about another long stay in the spring/summer.  I'm thinking, "Please just let me get through this visit before thinking about the next."  I feel like an awful mom for feeling this way.  

We don't have enough bedrooms, bathrooms, or refrigerator space.  We have many different food preferences and different sleep/wake schedules.  We do things differently in the kitchen, too.  I just feel like everything has been taken over, my entire routine is disrupted, everything is loud and messy and out of my control.  I'm okay with it for a long weekend, but 2+ weeks is really exhausting.  Everyone turns to me for everything, "where is this?  what are we having for dinner?  what are we doing tonight?"  Sometimes I feel like I'm running an all-inclusive resort.  I'm lucky that DH is a huge huge help and is really supportive of me.

Sorry to derail your thread.  Just wanted to say I understand and got carried away.  

@Elizabeth86  good luck today!  

 

I wonder about this often! I wonder if I will feel this way when my kids grow up and leave. I know I do feel this way about my parents even though obviously we all used to live together and even then my home felt private and I didn’t love having people over even then.

[Elizabeth86]

2 hours ago, Kassia said:

Is it terrible that I feel this way about my adult kids?  I'm an introvert and having all of my kids and their SOs for an extended stay during the holidays makes me a mess.  I love them, but having so many adults under one roof is just too much for me.  They are here for over two weeks this time and are already starting to talk about another long stay in the spring/summer.  I'm thinking, "Please just let me get through this visit before thinking about the next."  I feel like an awful mom for feeling this way.  

We don't have enough bedrooms, bathrooms, or refrigerator space.  We have many different food preferences and different sleep/wake schedules.  We do things differently in the kitchen, too.  I just feel like everything has been taken over, my entire routine is disrupted, everything is loud and messy and out of my control.  I'm okay with it for a long weekend, but 2+ weeks is really exhausting.  Everyone turns to me for everything, "where is this?  what are we having for dinner?  what are we doing tonight?"  Sometimes I feel like I'm running an all-inclusive resort.  I'm lucky that DH is a huge huge help and is really supportive of me.

Sorry to derail your thread.  Just wanted to say I understand and got carried away.  

@Elizabeth86  good luck today!  

 

You are not! I feel ya though. I feel awful! 

[Elizabeth86]

2 hours ago, Kassia said:

Is it terrible that I feel this way about my adult kids?  I'm an introvert and having all of my kids and their SOs for an extended stay during the holidays makes me a mess.  I love them, but having so many adults under one roof is just too much for me.  They are here for over two weeks this time and are already starting to talk about another long stay in the spring/summer.  I'm thinking, "Please just let me get through this visit before thinking about the next."  I feel like an awful mom for feeling this way.  

We don't have enough bedrooms, bathrooms, or refrigerator space.  We have many different food preferences and different sleep/wake schedules.  We do things differently in the kitchen, too.  I just feel like everything has been taken over, my entire routine is disrupted, everything is loud and messy and out of my control.  I'm okay with it for a long weekend, but 2+ weeks is really exhausting.  Everyone turns to me for everything, "where is this?  what are we having for dinner?  what are we doing tonight?"  Sometimes I feel like I'm running an all-inclusive resort.  I'm lucky that DH is a huge huge help and is really supportive of me.

Sorry to derail your thread.  Just wanted to say I understand and got carried away.  

@Elizabeth86  good luck today!  

 

Never apologize for this! I really appreciate when I know there are others that can relate to me! Thanks so much. 

[KatieJ]

I am not an introvert, but we did live 10 hours away from our oldest daughter for 25 years. Her family would come for 10 days, at least once a year, sometimes 2.  The rest of our kiddoes lived near us, so it was as many as 23 people for a meal, maybe even twice a day, for 10 days. It was exhausting! And yes, she now knows that…and it was a bit hurtful. But she does a lot of the hosting now, never for 10 days,  but now understand how exhausting it is. 

There were days, DH would just go to the bedroom and nap…often with a grandchild…I am not a napper..

One time him and I just left and went to a movie! Alone.

 

Meals became difficult , so I settled on doing the  shopping snd let them handle the meals.

I wrote out a list of what food I had purchased, hung it in the kitchen and let them take over. 
I stocked  up on paper plates, plastic glassware, which we put our name on so only  one per person per day. 
They all pretty much knew my kitchen and I was content to read to grandkids or play games with them while the kitchen chores were handled. 
I did have an extra fridge, and a big freezer with half a beef pretty much at all times…

I just didn’t want to plan the meals. Our SIL would  head to the store at the hint of needing something. 
 

[Elizabeth86]

They are almost here! So nervous! I am thankful we are all go somewhere EARLY tomorrow, so we will have to get all the kids to bed early tonight. Just from maybe 2-7 or 8! I can do this. There is no out now. 😂

[Kassia]

@KatieJ thank you for sharing.  This is something I feel so much guilt about.

@Elizabeth86  yes, you got this!  🙂  It will be over soon and you will be relieved.  

[KungFuPanda]

4 hours ago, Kassia said:

Is it terrible that I feel this way about my adult kids?  I'm an introvert and having all of my kids and their SOs for an extended stay during the holidays makes me a mess.  I love them, but having so many adults under one roof is just too much for me.  They are here for over two weeks this time and are already starting to talk about another long stay in the spring/summer.  I'm thinking, "Please just let me get through this visit before thinking about the next."  I feel like an awful mom for feeling this way.  

We don't have enough bedrooms, bathrooms, or refrigerator space.  We have many different food preferences and different sleep/wake schedules.  We do things differently in the kitchen, too.  I just feel like everything has been taken over, my entire routine is disrupted, everything is loud and messy and out of my control.  I'm okay with it for a long weekend, but 2+ weeks is really exhausting.  Everyone turns to me for everything, "where is this?  what are we having for dinner?  what are we doing tonight?"  Sometimes I feel like I'm running an all-inclusive resort.  I'm lucky that DH is a huge huge help and is really supportive of me.

Sorry to derail your thread.  Just wanted to say I understand and got carried away.  

@Elizabeth86  good luck today!  

 

Two weeks? Not with full service?!?! Anything beyond three days warrants a meal and chore chart. Every adult or couple can be on the rotation for breakfast and dinner if they want to live there for half a month. Non participants can book a shorter stay. 
 

“We’re going to start sharing responsibilities during longer visits. Which nights do you want to plan/cook dinner? Which nights would you prefer to be on clean up?”

[Kassia]

21 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

Two weeks? Not with full service?!?! Anything beyond three days warrants a meal and chore chart. Every adult or couple can be on the rotation for breakfast and dinner if they want to live there for half a month. Non participants can book a shorter stay. 
 

“We’re going to start sharing responsibilities during longer visits. Which nights do you want to plan/cook dinner? Which nights would you prefer to be on clean up?”

I should be clear that we just provide food for breakfast/lunch and the only meal we plan/prepare/clean up is dinner.  I ask them for food/shopping lists before they arrive and make sure I have those items available for breakfast/lunch/snacks.  And they do clean up after themselves for those meals.  For dinners, if possible, we use paper/disposable while they are here.  So something messy, we use regular dishes, but we use disposable when it's something simpler.  Ds3 is the only one who isn't good about giving me a thorough list and then he complains he doesn't have anything for lunch or whatever (he's on the spectrum).  And he's getting married next year with a fiance from another country and he's making it seem like she's going to have all kinds of special needs for meals.  We'll cross that bridge next year...

[Anne]

My family started making menus in advance of our big gathering - this was so helpful!  I start a text string amongst the people asking for meal requests.  Then I filter them and present a menu for people to comment on.  When finalized, I ask for volunteers for each meal.

This was life-changing!  Really made the big gathering MUCH easier!

Anne

[Ginevra]

8 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Not me. I have never liked people in my house ever. I can socialize all day out and about, but I feel so anxious with people in my home. Always have. And I LOVE spending time with this family just not on my territory.

I totally get it. 
 

It is much less pronounced in my fifties (probably a side effect of menopausal don’t-really-shive-a-git-what-everyone-thinks), but when my kids were little, big holiday gatherings at my house would fry me for a week. And yes, when I had nurslings, I happily stole away in a dark guest room for a breather, um…to feed the baby.   
 

These days, I do like hosting, though once is enough for a couple years, but the sad thing about being the host is that I don’t really visit with my guests much. When the  big family TG happened at my house, I did not get to hold any of the new babies, nor talk to my nieces or nephews other than logistics (“Do you need a napkin?…A highchair booster straps onto this chair better than that one…”), nor have much of a conversation with any of my BILs or SILs. They were all here but I don’t feel like I saw them. 

[Ditto]

9 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Not me. I have never liked people in my house ever. I can socialize all day out and about, but I feel so anxious with people in my home. Always have. And I LOVE spending time with this family just not on my territory.

I really thought I was the only one who felt this way.   One perk of the pandemic was that no one ever came over.   

[Elizabeth86]

1 hour ago, Ditto said:

I really thought I was the only one who felt this way.   One perk of the pandemic was that no one ever came over.   

Haha YES! I know the pandemic was tough for many, BUT I straight up loved it. I missed my parents, but, it was a great time. 

[Elizabeth86]

AND I survived!!! 😂

[Garga]

I hate having people in my house. I had my parents here for about 7 days two summers ago and before then, I can’t even remember. Like, it’s been years (maybe a decade) since anyone has set foot in my house except for us (and my parents 2 summers ago). When I meet with friends, I meet at a restaurant.

It’s a nice little house, so I’m not ashamed of it, but I feel trapped when there are guests. If I’m a guest, I can leave any time I want to. But when I’m the host, I have to wait for the guests to leave, and that might be hours after I’m tapped out.

I hate to say it too loudly, but 2020 into 2021 were the best years of my life. No family gatherings. None. It was glorious.

 

Edited December 21, 2023 by Garga

[teachermom2834]

@Kassia I always appreciate that you admit that you struggle with your visits from your adult kids. I know you love them dearly and are a great mom and I like that you can straight up admit that it isn’t the greatest two weeks of your life to have your whole family together under one roof. I feel the same way and then feel guilty about it. Sometimes I feel some relief when everyone and their significant others can’t all be here together. I want them here, but if they can’t all make it I can live with that too and I feel guilty about that. 
 

Mine come for very short visits- even the one with a very long drive doesn’t stay too long and visits other people in the area. Short visits really are awesome for us even though we get along. It’s just hard to host people that long. And I do want to make things really nice for them so I’m sure I add to my own stress.

If I had an everyone for two weeks I would probably have to leave and do spend a night with a girlfriend or something! 
 

 

[Pam in CT]

more than two weeks?!

13 hours ago, Kassia said:

Is it terrible that I feel this way about my adult kids?  I'm an introvert and having all of my kids and their SOs for an extended stay during the holidays makes me a mess.  I love them, but having so many adults under one roof is just too much for me.  They are here for over two weeks this time and are already starting to talk about another long stay in the spring/summer.  I'm thinking, "Please just let me get through this visit before thinking about the next."  I feel like an awful mom for feeling this way.  

We don't have enough bedrooms, bathrooms, or refrigerator space.  We have many different food preferences and different sleep/wake schedules.  We do things differently in the kitchen, too.  I just feel like everything has been taken over, my entire routine is disrupted, everything is loud and messy and out of my control.  I'm okay with it for a long weekend, but 2+ weeks is really exhausting.  Everyone turns to me for everything, "where is this?  what are we having for dinner?  what are we doing tonight?"  Sometimes I feel like I'm running an all-inclusive resort.  I'm lucky that DH is a huge huge help and is really supportive of me.

Sorry to derail your thread.  Just wanted to say I understand and got carried away.  

@Elizabeth86  good luck today!  

 

oh my goodness. That's exhausting just to THINK about.

 

I don't have grandchildren yet, but my what my grandparents did with me and my brother, and my parents also did with my kids when they were young, was shoo the parent generation out the door (for any interval from one night at the movies to a week vacation alone). Leaving the grandparents alone with the grandchildren eating pizza / mac & cheese / fried chicken / lots of ice cream and cookies etc, staying up late, and generally spoiling them. This struck me as an excellent model as a child, and also as a young parent, and I hope to be able to continue the tradition...

[Kassia]

4 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

AND I survived!!! 😂

Yay!  Over, done, and you survived!  🙂  

 

 

3 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

@Kassia I always appreciate that you admit that you struggle with your visits from your adult kids. I know you love them dearly and are a great mom and I like that you can straight up admit that it isn’t the greatest two weeks of your life to have your whole family together under one roof. I feel the same way and then feel guilty about it. Sometimes I feel some relief when everyone and their significant others can’t all be here together. I want them here, but if they can’t all make it I can live with that too and I feel guilty about that. 
 

Mine come for very short visits- even the one with a very long drive doesn’t stay too long and visits other people in the area. Short visits really are awesome for us even though we get along. It’s just hard to host people that long. And I do want to make things really nice for them so I’m sure I add to my own stress.

If I had an everyone for two weeks I would probably have to leave and do spend a night with a girlfriend or something! 
 

 

Thank you so much.  It really helps to know that others feel the same (or close to it).  All I hear is about how wonderful it is that we'll all be together.  And it is wonderful!  And I am lucky.  I realize that and am very grateful.  But there definitely is too much of a good thing.  A long weekend is fun and I can relax and enjoy it.  But this is really hard.  It's only been a few days and I'm already having meltdowns.  And that's the worst - I spend weeks (months) preparing for the long visit and the holidays and then I act like a crazed stressed exhausted person when they are here.  😞  I want them to love coming home and certainly don't want them to avoid doing that or dread it.  

 

1 hour ago, Pam in CT said:

more than two weeks?!

oh my goodness. That's exhausting just to THINK about.

 

I don't have grandchildren yet, but my what my grandparents did with me and my brother, and my parents also did with my kids when they were young, was shoo the parent generation out the door (for any interval from one night at the movies to a week vacation alone). Leaving the grandparents alone with the grandchildren eating pizza / mac & cheese / fried chicken / lots of ice cream and cookies etc, staying up late, and generally spoiling them. This struck me as an excellent model as a child, and also as a young parent, and I hope to be able to continue the tradition...

I'd love that with grandkids and I know DH would love it even more (he's great with kids) when the time comes.  🙂  

[Pawz4me]

4 hours ago, Kassia said:

All I hear is about how wonderful it is that we'll all be together . . . (snip) . . .  But this is really hard.  

I think all of us could probably do better at acknowledging that multiple things can be true at the same time.

Hugs, @Kassia. 

[chocolate-chip chooky]

On 12/21/2023 at 10:18 AM, Ditto said:

I really thought I was the only one who felt this way.   One perk of the pandemic was that no one ever came over.   

I'm the same. I always go to other people's places. I don't want anyone in our home, even extended family.

I'll always offer to drive to their place for visits, and everyone is happy with this, because we're all at least an hour's drive from each other. 

I feel a bit twitchy just thinking about anyone coming here.