Shivaree (Chivari?)

[Emba]

Have any of you heard of this/what is it to you?

 Around here (Texas panhandle) it’s quite common that when a couple gets married, friends and family break into or otherwise gain access to a newlywed couples home and play b pranks on them, to be discovered when they return from their honeymoon or on their wedding night.  Things like taking the labels off of calls, hiding things, rearranging furniture, though I heard of one well-planned elaborate prank where a very convincing notice of the water being turned off for failure to pay resulted in a desperate couple trying to pay $400 cash to a confused city employee for water  that wasn’t actually turned off.

 Now usually I honestly don’t hear anyone call this anything; it’s just done. But I’ve heard it called shivaree, though it doesn’t really match the historical shivaree that is described when I Google this.

 So I’m wondering if this is common in other parts of the country, and what it consists of elsewhere.

[Catwoman]

I am from the NYC area and I have never heard of anything like this.

Honestly, it sounds kind of juvenile at best and mean at worst, so I’m glad no one I know does it.

[Tree Frog]

There was a zombie thread recently resurrected from several years ago started by someone on the board who was asking for ideas to do this to a relative.

I've heard of it, but I don't think I would like to have it done to me. 

[Rosie_0801]

Wow. I wouldn't treat people I hated like that.

[KungFuPanda]

Never heard of it and I’ve lived all over the country, but admittedly mostly on the east coast. Still never heard of it when I lived in Texas or California though. It sounds like a horrible invasion of privacy and this is coming from someone who put googly eyes on all the fridge condiments when she was watching a friend’s dog. 

[Ausmumof3]

It happens here in SA though it’s more common to decorate the leaving car. I know of one couple where someone thought it would be funny to turn off the power breaker to the house so the lights wouldn’t turn on when they got home. Unfortunately they had a freezer full of precooked food that got ruined. Polystyrene balls everywhere, stuff tied to the back of the car to make a racket etc 

[prairiewindmomma]

Shivaree….it started off as a European tradition in the 1500-1600s as Charivari…a sort of community intervention against bad marriages. It became a good natured hazing of newlyweds in the US tradition when it hopped the pond culturally, and was quite common in the 1800s and early 1900s. My midwestern grandparents experienced it, but by the time my parents had married it had morphed to decorating the wedding car and banging pans around the hotel room door. 
 

It’s largely gone extinct/been forgotten in my hometown, thank goodness.

[Annie G]

I remember an episode of The Waltons featured that, though I can’t recall all the details. I assumed it was from the region. 

[MrsMommy]

1 minute ago, Annie G said:

I remember an episode of The Waltons featured that, though I can’t recall all the details. I assumed it was from the region. 

I was just going to say the exact same thing!

[maize]

I've never heard of it!

Could "decorating" the bride and groom's getaway car be related? That happens around here...

[Shoeless]

I've never heard of this. I'd be really upset if "friends" and family did that to me.  

[rebcoola]

Never heard of anything more than decorating the car which is sometimes done around here

[Spryte]

I remember reading about this in a book I read as a tween. Judy Blume, maybe? It was an older book, even then.

This version, https://www.ncpedia.org/shivaree, sounds like it has the same roots but no pranks. 

[gardenmom5]

I encountered the term once in a short story.  Only the "prank" was gathering around the newlywed couple's window making noise to make it difficult for the new couple to . . . couple.

[TechWife]

My mom talked about it. The bridal party and whoever else wanted to join in would go to wherever the bride & groom were spending the first night and serenade them off & on all night long. Outside the hotel window, house/apt. window, wherever they were. Sometimes they danced, IIRC. My mom said it was great fun and the bride & groom would have a good sense of humor about it. Occasionally someone would make it known not to do it for one reason or another. The unexpected element was the timing, the people & the songs they choose. 

They also did a “pounding” for newlyweds where they went into the apartment and stocked the pantry with staples. It was called a pounding because many of the items were provided in pound increments, 1 lb of butter, 5 lb of sugar, 1 lb of brown sugar, etc..

It all sounds like it was a lot of fun. This was in Chicago in the late 1940’s to early 1950’s. 
 

My dad always piped in that the groom could bring an early end to a shiveree by providing some alcoholic beverages they could use as their shoveree party continued elsewhere.

There are pictures of my parents wedding breakfast the day after the wedding and some friends & family were still in their wedding clothes in some way or another.

Edited December 3, 2023 by TechWife

[TechWife]

2 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Shivaree….it started off as a European tradition in the 1500-1600s as Charivari…a sort of community intervention against bad marriages. It became a good natured hazing of newlyweds in the US tradition when it hopped the pond culturally, and was quite common in the 1800s and early 1900s. My midwestern grandparents experienced it, but by the time my parents had married it had morphed to decorating the wedding car and banging pans around the hotel room door. 
 

It’s largely gone extinct/been forgotten in my hometown, thank goodness.

This adds a lot of contexT to my mom’s memories. My grandparents were European immigrants , as were many of their friends & fellow church members.

I would have a blast if they would bring it back. 

[Laura Corin]

There's a tradition in the UK of messing with the luggage - putting rice or confetti into the suitcases. The going away car was often decorated and an old boot attached to the back. 

[Eos]

I've read about it as an Appalachian tradition.

https://blindpigandtheacorn.com/june-is-the-mon/#:~:text=Appalachia has many interesting customs,banging%2C hollering%2C and serenading.

https://www.ncpedia.org/shivaree

[Ginevra]

I have heard about this a couple of times but never from actual, modern couples I know personally. 
 

I do remember one of the Duggar wedding episodes had this or it was mentioned. I think some of the boys either wrapped the getaway car in plastic wrap or they pitched this idea and J threatened them. 

[Beth S]

Midwest here.  My brothers put so much rice in my suitcase as we left for our honeymoon that it took YEARS for me to get it out of the nooks & crannies....  They loved pranking me....

[Tenaj]

I remember that we were very careful of who had access to our suitcases and the keys to the car.  The car was decorated but no one got into the suitcases.  It is still a thing around here that only very trusted people have access to those things on the wedding day.  It is always a secret, too, where the couple is spending their first night.  I'm assuming so that no one can follow and cause a ruckus. When my oldest son got married, I knew they were staying at the same hotel where the reception was and it was my job to distract everyone from the fact that they were "leaving" only to drive around the parking lot 🤣

Edited December 3, 2023 by Tenaj

[Emba]

10 hours ago, maize said:

I've never heard of it!

Could "decorating" the bride and groom's getaway car be related? That happens around here...

That happens here too.  When I got married, they just wrote on the windshield, but when my sister got married they stuffed hay into the suitcases they were taking on the honeymoon, and a bunch of other stuff I can’t remember.  I’ve heard of glitter in the car’s vents, which sounds truly awful to me.

[KungFuPanda]

Just now, Ausmumof3 said:

It happens here in SA though it’s more common to decorate the leaving car. I know of one couple where someone thought it would be funny to turn off the power breaker to the house so the lights wouldn’t turn on when they got home. Unfortunately they had a freezer full of precooked food that got ruined. Polystyrene balls everywhere, stuff tied to the back of the car to make a racket etc 

The car thing is very common everywhere I’ve lived, but nobody is breaking and entering for that. 

[strawberries]

Never heard of it.

The car thing is common though. When I was 9 and a cousin got married; one of the uncles took all of us younger kids out to decorate the getaway car. We wrote on the windows with soap and lipstick and tied empty cans to the bumper. This was in Alabama in the 1980s. At more recent weddings I've seen the windows done but not the cans. I've wondered if as bumpers got more streamlined it got harder to attach stuff or if it just fell out of fashion.

[Terabith]

I lived in San Antonio for five years and never heard of it, but we were more surrounded by Air Force culture than anything. 

[math teacher]

I had it done to me. I really can't recall the exact things they did, but my dad provided the key. I thought it would be safe with him, but he had too much to drink, I guess. 

Something else that was done: Someone "kidnapped" the bride, and a ransom was raised for her return. Of course, the money was given to the couple for their honeymoon. I am from a small town, and I have even seen the police involved in these adventures, just for fun of course. At my wedding, my suitcase was kidnapped, and money was raised to get it back.

[Catwoman]

7 hours ago, Ginevra said:

I have heard about this a couple of times but never from actual, modern couples I know personally. 
 

I do remember one of the Duggar wedding episodes had this or it was mentioned. I think some of the boys either wrapped the getaway car in plastic wrap or they pitched this idea and J threatened them. 

So you're saying that JimBob actually made at least one good parenting decision in his life? 😉 

Ok, that's one for the positives column!

(Note: Start a positives column so I can put this in it.)

[Emba]

2 hours ago, math teacher said:

I had it done to me. I really can't recall the exact things they did, but my dad provided the key. I thought it would be safe with him, but he had too much to drink, I guess. 

Something else that was done: Someone "kidnapped" the bride, and a ransom was raised for her return. Of course, the money was given to the couple for their honeymoon. I am from a small town, and I have even seen the police involved in these adventures, just for fun of course. At my wedding, my suitcase was kidnapped, and money was raised to get it back.

As a young child in the 80s I remember a wedding where the bride was kidnapped and carried away in a wheelbarrow. My memory doesn’t provide what happened after that, and I’ve never seen it since.

[melbotoast]

I remember a shivaree in Oklahoma!