Update on preemie grandson

[Faith-manor]

T is still in the NICU. He has been upgraded to progressive so his only support is his NG tube for feeding. He is now saying awake and taking a bottle at every feeding, managing about half of his intake by bottle, and the rest by tube. He had gained a pound. I got to hold him Tuesday night. His little head fit perfectly in the palm of my hand. He looks like his Uncle P, complete with strawberry blond hair and eyebrows.

So now it is a waiting game because the only thing keeping him from coming home is being able to take the full amount at every feeding by bottle. Dd would like to eventually get off the pumping routine which is exhausting, but he is a long long way from being able to nurse.

My mom flew down and is taking over for two weeks of grandma duty with the kiddoes. Dd and hubby are finally over their cold viruses and able to be at the hospital again, but they only go one at a time so that mom doesn't have the full dose of both, energetic grandsons alone. She is a good cook, and doesn't mind doing that for them. She is also reading aloud a lot to both, and doing little projects with them so Dd can nap each afternoon. I drove home yesterday. Multiple highway grid lock delays so my 11.5 hr drive was 14. I am very, very tired today, but managed some sewing. I have two major rocketry meetings, one tomorrow and one next week. Then I will make plans to go back.

[cintinative]

Grow baby grow! Prayers for baby T and mom.

[mommyoffive]

I must have missed this whole thing.  I am sorry to hear that T is in the NICU.  It sounds like he is getting better day by day.  Sending lots of good vibes his way.

Is this the same DD you helped when she had Covid?  Your family is so wonderful to help each out when needed.  You and your mom are worth your weight in gold.

I am so glad your dd and her dh are  able to be at the hospital again.  That had to be hard not to be there with T.

[Faith-manor]

17 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

I must have missed this whole thing.  I am sorry to hear that T is in the NICU.  It sounds like he is getting better day by day.  Sending lots of good vibes his way.

Is this the same DD you helped when she had Covid?  Your family is so wonderful to help each out when needed.  You and your mom are worth your weight in gold.

I am so glad your dd and her dh are  able to be at the hospital again.  That had to be hard not to be there with T.

Yes, and the covid was right before she became pregnant, and has been a complication. It has been a long haul.

[Kassia]

35 minutes ago, Faith-manor said:

Yes, and the covid was right before she became pregnant, and has been a complication. It has been a long haul.

It really has been.  Hope your grandson continues to make progress so he can come home!  

[Zoo Keeper]

Wonderful progress for the little guy! 💙 

Praying for strength (and rest!) for T and those who love him.

[math teacher]

So glad for the good report!! Prayers for him to come home soon!!

[ScoutTN]

Praying for baby T! 

[Elizabeth86]

So happy to hear the progress. I pray he is home soon. 

Edited February 10, 2023 by Elizabeth86

[Soror]

Ya for the progress and lots of good wishes for him to come home soon.

[Guest]

All my wishes for steady growth and no setbacks for little T. 
 

Also, just an encouragement (not meant to be pressure, just encouragement) I have known at least two mamas who pumped for a year because babies did not learn to nurse. It is possible to do (though clearly, hard). 

[Terabith]

25 minutes ago, Quill said:

Also, just an encouragement (not meant to be pressure, just encouragement) I have known at least two mamas who pumped for a year because babies did not learn to nurse. It is possible to do (though clearly, hard). 

My oldest was not a premie but had “issues” at birth (transient tachypnea of the newborn - took a bit to figure out how to breathe, and oral motor issues).  They never learned to nurse and I pumped for six months.  When I got pregnant again, my supply tanked.  My sister pumped exclusively for both her oldest and her twins!

[cintinative]

6 hours ago, Quill said:

 

Also, just an encouragement (not meant to be pressure, just encouragement) I have known at least two mamas who pumped for a year because babies did not learn to nurse. It is possible to do (though clearly, hard). 

I did this. My oldest was born early and never learned how to suck properly. After three lactation consultants, a meeting with a La Leche person, and hours and hours of attempts, I was still not in a better spot.  The last lactation person I saw was amazing (wish I had seen her first!), but it was taking 50 some minutes to try to nurse, plus then I had to pump, and he was already almost two months by that point. I was totally exhausted.  I gave up trying and pumped exclusively for a year.  I had to take fenugreek to keep my supply up.  I did use a hospital grade pump for the majority of it--I rented it. This was 17 years ago.  (Incidentally, because of a milk allergy he would have had to go on Nutramigan or a special formula, so part of my motivation was financial. I had to go off dairy while I was nursing/pumping.)

ETA: like dmmetler I also ate oatmeal every day. Forgot about that!

Edited February 10, 2023 by cintinative

[Dmmetler]

4 hours ago, Quill said:

All my wishes for steady growth and no setbacks for little T. 
 

Also, just an encouragement (not meant to be pressure, just encouragement) I have known at least two mamas who pumped for a year because babies did not learn to nurse. It is possible to do (though clearly, hard). 

I pumped for 2 years because L was a preemie and just never picked up on nursing. I figure it was mostly due to stubbornness-after a really difficult pregnancy, I needed to do SOMETHING right. I actually ended up eventually feeding both L and a friend's DD who had immune deficiencies and needed the immune support of breast milk (she wasn't diagnosed until age 2, which was after mom had stopped nursing). I'm honestly surprised it worked as well as it did for as long. 

 

I had a hospital grade double pump with a pumping bra, a portable one for when away from home, and ate a ton of oatmeal and took fenugreek. 

Edited February 10, 2023 by Dmmetler

[Elizabeth86]

How early was this little one?

[Faith-manor]

2 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

How early was this little one?

Six weeks.

[Matryoshka]

7 hours ago, Quill said:

All my wishes for steady growth and no setbacks for little T. 
 

Also, just an encouragement (not meant to be pressure, just encouragement) I have known at least two mamas who pumped for a year because babies did not learn to nurse. It is possible to do (though clearly, hard). 

More encouragement (not pressure) from a mom of 6-week preemie twins.  I pumped and pumped when they were in the NICU; they finally came home after 1.5 weeks and I was still pumping but they were starting to nurse - then the neonatal seizures came back and they were back in the hospital for another 1.5 weeks till they found meds that worked.  But all those seizures (every hour or so) meant they lost all their nursing skills.

When I came home (when they were 6 wks old or so?  Around their actual due date.)  I had to start getting them to latch from scratch, and with two of them, I pretty much was pumping or trying to get them to nurse round the clock.  I was beside myself and ready to give up.  I finally called LLL in desperation (because until then I was sure they'd shame me for giving all that formula thus far, because, yes, I was supplementing as well as using bottles of the pumped milk), but the woman I talked to didn't shame me, but gave me a piece of advice that gave me new hope - she said usually they say don't give up till the baby is 6 wks old, that around that time a lot of neurolgical coordination stuff comes together and they finally 'get' it.  If they don't get it by then, you can really say you've given it your best shot.  But the kicker is, that's 6 weeks post due date, not birth date.  So, for preemies (especially early ones,) count from there.  So for me, 12 weeks.  That was six more weeks for me, but it was a light at the end of the tunnel.  And you know what?  At 6 weeks post-due date they had indeed figured it out and I cut out all pumping except for one at night after they went to bed (so dh and I could simultaneously give them each a bottle of breastmilk at bedtime, since I never did figure out tandem nursing).  Got them off all formula at that point, and nursed them till 18 months.

It just helped my mindset so much to think that there was a date to aim for, a light at the end of the tunnel.

Edited February 10, 2023 by Matryoshka

[TexasProud]

Glad you are able to help. Praying for continued improvement for the little guy.

[busymama7]

50 minutes ago, Matryoshka said:

More encouragement (not pressure) from a mom of 6-week preemie twins.  I pumped and pumped when they were in the NICU; they finally came home after 1.5 weeks and I was still pumping but they were starting to nurse - then the neonatal seizures came back and they were back in the hospital for another 1.5 weeks till they found meds that worked.  But all those seizures (every hour or so) meant they lost all their nursing skills.

When I came home (when they were 6 wks old or so?  Around their actual due date.)  I had to start getting them to latch from scratch, and with two of them, I pretty much was pumping or trying to get them to nurse round the clock.  I was beside myself and ready to give up.  I finally called LLL in desperation (because until then I was sure they'd shame me for giving all that formula thus far, because, yes, I was supplementing as well as using bottles of the pumped milk), but the woman I talked to didn't shame me, but gave me a piece of advice that gave me new hope - she said usually they say don't give up till the baby is 6 wks old, that around that time a lot of neurolgical coordination stuff comes together and they finally 'get' it.  If they don't get it by then, you can really say you've given it your best shot.  But the kicker is, that's 6 weeks post due date, not birth date.  So, for preemies (especially early ones,) count from there.  So for me, 12 weeks.  That was six more weeks for me, but it was a light at the end of the tunnel.  And you know what?  At 6 weeks post-due date they had indeed figured it out and I cut out all pumping except for one at night after they went to bed (so dh and I could simultaneously give them each a bottle of breastmilk at bedtime, since I never did figure out tandem nursing).  Got them off all formula at that point, and nursed them till 18 months.

It just helped my mindset so much to think that there was a date to aim for, a light at the end of the tunnel.

This is so great.  I often tell moms it takes at least as long as they were on a bottle uo to  twice as long and it does help their mindset to realize it's a long process to transition over. 

[Lawyer&Mom]

Dd7 was six weeks premature.  I had to pump, not only because she wasn’t able to nurse at first, but because we added formula to the pumped milk to give her extra calories.  She spent 16 days in the NICU, but once she was home and had put on enough weight, we switched fairly painlessly to full time nursing.  She’s had no lingering issues from her premature birth, I hope your little guy has an equally uneventful post-NICU experience.  

[MercyA]

If she needs to switch to formula to conserve her limited time and energy and preserve her mental health, that is a completely valid choice. It is no failure!

Glad to hear baby is doing well. 🙂 

[KSera]

25 minutes ago, MercyA said:

If she needs to switch to formula to conserve her limited time and energy and preserve her mental health, that is a completely valid choice. It is no failure!

Glad to hear baby is doing well. 🙂 

It’s a valid choice absolutely, but for some women it’s incredibly disappointing if they have to make that choice, and success stories are very helpful to them to hear. I got far more advice that I’d done enough and should stop trying than I did success stories, and I wasn’t interested in being told I was doing too much and should stop. I had two different lactation consultants stunned I hadn’t gave up. But it paid off and by 8 weeks I was no longer pumping and baby went on to breastfeed for several years. It ended up mine needed specific oral motor therapy more than typical lactation consultant advice, and that made a huge difference. 

[matrips]

1 hour ago, KSera said:

It’s a valid choice absolutely, but for some women it’s incredibly disappointing if they have to make that choice, and success stories are very helpful to them to hear. I got far more advice that I’d done enough and should stop trying than I did success stories, and I wasn’t interested in being told I was doing too much and should stop. I had two different lactation consultants stunned I hadn’t gave up. But it paid off and by 8 weeks I was no longer pumping and baby went on to breastfeed for several years. It ended up mine needed specific oral motor therapy more than typical lactation consultant advice, and that made a huge difference. 

Yes, but many moms do feel pressured to pump and breastfeed, so it is nice to hear that side too.  I had triplets that I planned to pump for, but quickly realized I couldn’t deal with the time commitment.  I would have hated to be encouraged to continue. 

[Matryoshka]

13 minutes ago, matrips said:

Yes, but many moms do feel pressured to pump and breastfeed, so it is nice to hear that side too.  I had triplets that I planned to pump for, but quickly realized I couldn’t deal with the time commitment.  I would have hated to be encouraged to continue. 

That's why the simple timeframe was so helpful to me.  Keep up a good effort for 6 weeks past due date, and then see where I was at.  If they had never got the hang of proper nursing, I could've kept pumping, switched to forumla, or a combo of either, but it would've been my decision and I could have felt like I'd done all I possibly could and not have to ever second-guess what-if's if I had just held out a little longer (I know lots of people might not have felt that way, but for me, it was a huge weight off).

[Matryoshka]

dp, oops.

Edited February 11, 2023 by Matryoshka

[cintinative]

4 hours ago, Matryoshka said:

But the kicker is, that's 6 weeks post due date, not birth date.  

Wow, I wish I had known this. Maybe if I had waited two more weeks he would have figured it out. But I was soooo exhausted from pumping and trying to nurse every two hours.  

[Matryoshka]

Just now, cintinative said:

Wow, I wish I had known this. Maybe if I had waited two more weeks he would have figured it out. But I was soooo exhausted from pumping and trying to nurse every two hours.  

Oh, I get it.  I was just a sobbing mess.  With two babies, I really was just sitting there pumping, attempt to nurse one baby and mostly fail,  more pumping, try with other baby, over and over and over.  It wasn't even just every two hours, as one of those cycles took about that long and I had to start again.  I really was *this* close to giving up.  I really only called LLL in utter and complete desperation.  I had heard about such bad experiences with them chiding and shaming and pressuring people (and I totally know that those people are really out there), and I am forever grateful that the woman who answered the phone that day did nothing of the sort, and just gave me support, understanding and actual helpful advice.  No sermons on the evils of supplementation or nipple confusion, thank heavens.  Just a light at the end of the tunnel.

(With such an ongoing pumping schedule, the other thing that saved my bacon was buying one of those nursing bras that attach to the pump funnels so I could pump hands-free.  Game-changer.  I could sit and read and dissassociate a bit from my mammalian nature...)

[cintinative]

5 minutes ago, Matryoshka said:

Oh, I get it.  I was just a sobbing mess.  With two babies, I really was just sitting there pumping, attempt to nurse one baby and mostly fail,  more pumping, try with other baby, over and over and over.  It wasn't even just every two hours, as one of those cycles took about that long and I had to start again.  I really was *this* close to giving up.  I really only called LLL in utter and complete desperation.  I had heard about such bad experiences with them chiding and shaming and pressuring people (and I totally know that those people are really out there), and I am forever grateful that the woman who answered the phone that day did nothing of the sort, and just gave me support, understanding and actual helpful advice.  No sermons on the evils of supplementation or nipple confusion, thank heavens.  Just a light at the end of the tunnel.

(With such an ongoing pumping schedule, the other thing that saved my bacon was buying one of those nursing bras that attach to the pump funnels so I could pump hands-free.  Game-changer.  I could sit and read and dissassociate a bit from my mammalian nature...)

I only had one but at one point I think I calculated I was able to lay down for about 45 min-1 hour between feedings due to the time needed to nurse, pump, and then clean the pump parts.  I can only imagine doing it with two. Oy.  I did also call LLL and the contact wasn't condemning at all. I think she was the one who gave me the name of the 3rd lactation person I saw, who really was great. Unfortunately by that point I was tired and I didn't give it more than a couple weeks I don't think.  I never got a nursing bra like that--I totally should have!  

Edited February 11, 2023 by cintinative

[Matryoshka]

14 minutes ago, cintinative said:

I only had one but at one point I think I calculated I was able to lay down for about 45 min-1 hour between feedings due to the time needed to nurse, pump, and then clean the pump parts.  I can only imagine doing it with two. Oy.  I did also call LLL and the contact wasn't condemning at all. I think she was the one who gave me the name of the 3rd lactation person I saw, who really was great. Unfortunately by that point I was tired and I didn't give it more than a couple weeks I don't think.  I never got a nursing bra like that--I totally should have!  

I absolutely, definitely would not have made it if I couldn't have pumped hands-free...

[matrips]

36 minutes ago, Matryoshka said:

That's why the simple timeframe was so helpful to me.  Keep up a good effort for 6 weeks past due date, and then see where I was at.  If they had never got the hang of proper nursing, I could've kept pumping, switched to forumla, or a combo of either, but it would've been my decision and I could have felt like I'd done all I possibly could and not have to ever second-guess what-if's if I had just held out a little longer (I know lots of people might not have felt that way, but for me, it was a huge weight off).

Yikes!  That would have been 13 weeks for me to keep at it! I lasted 3 days and it was such a huge relief when I decided to quit.  Lol. My best friend nursed her twins for two years. I just wasn’t cut out for it.

[Lawyer&Mom]

Dd7 was six weeks premature.  I had to pump, not only because she wasn’t able to nurse at first, but because we added formula to the pumped milk to give her extra calories.  She spent 16 days in the NICU, but once she was home and had put on enough weight, we switched fairly painlessly to full time nursing.  She’s had no lingering issues from her premature birth, I hope your little guy has an equally uneventful post-NICU experience.  

[Amethyst]

Thinking of baby T and hoping for improvement every day!