Sweet 16 Parties

[Soror]

Are these a thing in your area?

Ds is super low key. I honestly can't even remember what we did for his 16th. I think I probably made him a homemade cake and cooked his favorite meal and he hung out with a few friends.

Dd is already starting to plan hers in April. She is lucky that a friend has a cabin they rent out they are letting her use it for free. She told me it will be plenty big it holds 200. Totally different ballgame. I know she is invited to at least 1 sweet 16 party a week so evidently it is a thing for lots of girls here. (She told me yesterday -- don't worry Mom I plan on paying for a chunk of it I know I'm "extra")

I'm lost when it comes to all of this but she'll take the reins and is paying for a chunk as well (as she knows my budget s a lot smaller than her ideas). I fight back feelings of inadequacy on all of this but really it is just as well I'm not really into it as we'd probably just clash over how to do it this way she gets to do it how she wants and I don't have the stress of planning it to suit her.

 

[saraha]

I haven’t known a single person in real life to have a sweet 16.

[Starr]

It will be practice for her wedding. haha

[Starr]

In my day parties with 100 plus kids in the woods should have had lots adults around. Okay back to your sweet 16. In our area they didn't have the big parties. We did have friends over for dd but I don't remember what we did for ds.

[Soror]

17 minutes ago, Starr said:

It will be practice for her wedding. haha

Lol

13 minutes ago, Starr said:

In my day parties with 100 plus kids in the woods should have had lots adults around. Okay back to your sweet 16. In our area they didn't have the big parties. We did have friends over for dd but I don't remember what we did for ds.

It's called a cabin but not what you'd think of when you say cabin. It is not in the woods and isolated.  There are other houses around, including her friend's parents- her dad is a cop. Friend's grandma and aunt also live close. They have a lot of property with several houses. The "small" house and event center are rented out. 

[MercyA]

I think it's kind of you to support her in this, even though it's not really your thing. Sounds like fun. 🙂

AFAIK it's not a thing around here. I had a slumber party when I turned 16 and imagine DD will want to do the same. 

[catz]

I haven't heard of this at all and I have a daughter who is a senior.  She has been to birthday gatherings but they've all been low key and under 20-30 for sure.  I have seen bigger events for graduation parties but this seems OTT to me.   I personally would not feel inadequate for one second.

I would decide my own safety boundaries on supervision, lay out what you'll provide or set a small budget on what you would spend normally for a birthday and let her figure it out within those contraints.   I would talk to the owners of this "cabin" about supervision and limits and any concerns. I would also possibly give a teen a friendly reminder on invitation courtesy.  Like don't talk about an event someone isn't invited to in front of them.  Maybe don't spread the word beyond very closest friends that may help until it's well planned.  I'd also be concerned about party crashers.

Edited December 6, 2022 by catz

[alisoncooks]

That’s not a thing in my kids’ friend group. Sheesh, I don’t think they even know 100 kids, lol!

We did do something special for oldest DD’s 16, something more than usual. But definitely not to that level. 

[Bootsie]

Quinceanaras (at age 15) are very popular in my area and can be quite elaborate.  DD was invited to several that were in a rented hall with a band, catered dinner, etc.  

[Katy]

No but I’d go along with it too

[SKL]

Sweet 16 isn't really a thing here, but in some of my kids' circles, the quinceanera is a thing.  My kids attended a quince themed 16yo birthday for a friend this summer, and it inspired one of my kids to want a sweet 16.  But she abandoned the idea later.

I've never had a party for my girls, except for a combined homecoming / 1st birthday party which they don't remember.  I always thought I'd do one big birthday party at some point, so I was open to it being a combined sweet 16.  However, I'm actually super glad my kids decided they don't want this after all.  😛

I do periodically arrange social activities so they can have special times with their friends.  I've taken groups of friends to campouts, water parks, thrown an 8th grade graduation party (since their school canceled everything), etc.  To me, having a big birthday party would mainly be about getting the friends together vs. making a big deal over my specific kid(s).  We've just found other ways to do this over the years.

(ETA I am a co-owner of 3 event centers and a farm property, so I can use one of them without paying for the space.  This is what I did for the 8th grade party and the campout.)

Edited December 6, 2022 by SKL

[Wheres Toto]

Sweet 16 parties are very popular in my area, at least they were when my oldest turned 16.    Huge, elaborate, expensive parties at country clubs.  Her high school was in a very rich town (we don't live there, our town has a send/receive deal going), like median household income of $250,000 with many 6,000+ square feet houses.   

We had her party at a Mason hall (dh used to be a mason), hired a dj who provided neon tablecloths and lighting, cooked a lot of the food ourselves, additional decorations ourselves.   It was a Mad Hatter theme and everyone had a great time and talked about how fun it was.   It probably cost around $1000.

ETA:  Dd's did end up with over 100 people.  She invited friends from her high school, a bunch of friends from her old school district that she went to through middle school that she was still good friends with, and she had a group of dance friends as well.     That certainly made it bigger than we thought it would be.

Edited December 6, 2022 by Wheres Toto

[lmrich]

We did the big party thing for our dd  and two of her friends. We catered and decorated the church hall  ourselves  and hired  a dj. We spend about  $350 - $400 each (so $1200) total and that  included  the required security guard. It was fun but so extra and silly. We had about 80 guests. 

For the our older dd whose birthday falls in the busy season of late April/ early May. We did a lovely  backyard party for about 30 friends. Still spent about $200 for decorations and food. 

[Carrie12345]

They were kinda normal where I grew up, but not like MTV’s My Sweet 16 kinda vibe.
Mine was in a rented clubhouse (community clubhouse, not country club clubhouse, lol,) with a lower end of the price range DJ, family-cooked buffet food, self-serve bar for adults. Attire was nice jeans and tops. Guests were my whole extended family and family friends, my friends, and many of their parents.
Some girls did special outings or events with a few friends.

It’s not a real thing here, but we did it for both dds anyway. Similar vibe, but we get the firehouse free instead of renting a place!
I’m glad we did, because graduation was during covid and we didn’t do much special.

[mommyoffive]

3 hours ago, saraha said:

I haven’t known a single person in real life to have a sweet 16.

same. 

[BusyMom5]

Not a thing here either.  I'd love to help you plan, though!

[rebcoola]

Birthday parties for high schoolers don't seem to be a big thing here.  Definitely not sweet 16's. ODD went to one that was a hangout at the friends house basically. We had a firepit and outdoor movie. MDD got invited to spend the day with one friend geocahing on there birthday.  Than on her birthday she went to the mall with a couple of friends.

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

Not a thing here.

[Clarita]

It was a mix where I grew up, largely a pretty well to do area. I've been to Quinceras with 100+ guests, sweet 16 at the country club and one of the presents is a brand new convertible to the more normal a little sleepover with 4-6 girls with pizza and cake. I lucked out and my birthday fell in the time frame with a company picnic. I only had 3 friends there but it was a really impressive party because the company my dad worked for was a large company.

[sheryl]

7 hours ago, Soror said:

Are these a thing in your area?

Ds is super low key. I honestly can't even remember what we did for his 16th. I think I probably made him a homemade cake and cooked his favorite meal and he hung out with a few friends.

Dd is already starting to plan hers in April. She is lucky that a friend has a cabin they rent out they are letting her use it for free. She told me it will be plenty big it holds 200. Totally different ballgame. I know she is invited to at least 1 sweet 16 party a week so evidently it is a thing for lots of girls here. (She told me yesterday -- don't worry Mom I plan on paying for a chunk of it I know I'm "extra")

I'm lost when it comes to all of this but she'll take the reins and is paying for a chunk as well (as she knows my budget s a lot smaller than her ideas). I fight back feelings of inadequacy on all of this but really it is just as well I'm not really into it as we'd probably just clash over how to do it this way she gets to do it how she wants and I don't have the stress of planning it to suit her.

 

Yes, some of dd's friends had sweet 16 parties around 2015.  DD went to one that hired a dj, I think?   Not sure.  We had one on a budget.   I contacted our horseback riding instructor and asked if we could hold the party at her house.  Bold, I know.  Still can't "fully" believe we did this.  Anne and her husband agreed to it.  We were not allowed to ride the horses as that would have been a liability issue for Anne since we wasn't present.  They had a pool but I didn't allow that b/c I didn't want to deal with all the "horsing around" - no pun intended.  We had use of their huge yard, multi tier deck and took pictures in the barn.  That was when the "open wooden frame" idea was big.  Maybe it still is.  Just the wooden frame - dd stood with each friend individually and we snapped away.  It was cute.  We hung a  few decorations, played a few games, ate a bit of food that I made and dd unwrapped gifts.  DH and I bought a thank you gift card for this gracious couple who let us use their property for 3 hours or so.  It turned out well.  No DJ! 

[athena1277]

Most teens do something special for their Sweet 16, but it’s not a huge party.  When dd turned 16, I took her and a few close friends to an escape room, then went back to our house for cake.  We don’t usually do parties of any kind most years, so this was big for us.

[kirstenhill]

I don't think it's a thing at all where we are.  DD turned 16 in Spring 2020 so she got no celebration with friends at all, unfortunately.  But I don't think she would have had any desire to have any kind of party other than what she typically did with friends as a teen - hanging out with a few friends, eating, doing crafts or watching movies together, etc. 

Edited December 7, 2022 by kirstenhill

[Tap]

It is mixed here. Most don't do anything big, but some do. One of my friends rented a food truck and snow cone truck for a backyard hang out style party. Others resemble wedding receptions. 

[Soror]

22 hours ago, alisoncooks said:

That’s not a thing in my kids’ friend group. Sheesh, I don’t think they even know 100 kids, lol!

We did do something special for oldest DD’s 16, something more than usual. But definitely not to that level. 

I've never heard of any big parties in hs circles b/c the hs population is so small here. However, dd goes to PS with about 1400 kids and she is a joiner so she has tons of friends. 

19 hours ago, BusyMom5 said:

Not a thing here either.  I'd love to help you plan, though!

Thanks for the offer! I'll not be the one really planning though. Dd will have her own ideas. I'll just help her execute them.

She already picked the day and scheduled the location. Now she's trying to decide on the food. She's waiting until her friend's party at the same location before deciding on other things. I think most of the parties she's been to have just had minimal decorations. I've not heard of anyone having a dj. Mostly the kids get together and eat some food and hang out. Sometimes there is a sleepover afterwards. All but 2 of the parties were just girls the ones with boys were more family parties.

And it is over the top and crazy, at least by my standards. I'm not into big parties. The thought of makes me nauseous but dd is a totally different person in that regard! DD has always been extra I've got lots of practice with boundaries 🙂  She goes into most things expecting we won't pay anything and totally happy with whatever we do help with. She knows this and expects it. She understands we have limited funds. She has a little job she saves for all those extras she likes.

The parties dd has went to so far have ranged from a bbq at the park, finger food at a church hall, various restaurants, cabins, and the country club. A lot of her friends are wealthy but not all. The lower income parties were the church hall and the park. So, it seems most do them but vary in how they do them.