Trick or Treating question

[Frances]

My son has never been into candy or sweets, so TOT in our small neighborhood was plenty. We don’t get lots of TOT here, but it’s fun to see the neighborhood families. We’ll also sometimes get international students from the nearby college. 

[AnotherNewName]

Mine are well past ToT age but when they were we generally went in our neighborhood.  As they got older they woukd sometimes go with friends in other neighborhoods.

And personally I don't mind that our neighborhood often attracts kids from others. It is large and is a safe place for ToTers to walk without worry.  The more the merrier! Although we do ask the neighbor kids we know to come early as DH insists on fixing special treat bags for all of them. Certain special neighbors did that for him as kid as we are now eligible for AARP it is time to pay it forward.

 

[Tap]

When we lived in a heavily TNT'd neighborhood, I would buy a fixed amount of candy and then call it a night. I couldn't afford to keep the candy going all night long. We would give out candy for a while, then go TNT with our kids (early or the houses started getting sparse!) and then what the kids didn't want (Mostly hard things like Gobstoppers etc), got offered to the TNTers that came once we got home. I would rather give it to the neighbor kids, than toss it or put it in the candy drawer at work. We would give candy to 150 to 200 TNTers a night, depending on the PNW weather. And that was with us leaving for an hour of prime TNT time!

I knew several families that would send thier kids out to other people's homes to get candy, to hand out at thier own homes. The kids would mix up costumes and go out again and again. It wasn't obvious unless you knew the kids well enough to recognize them behind the mask. They thought it was funny, but it seemed icky to me. They didn't want to pay for the candy themselves, so they had their kids go get it from the neighbors. 

Edited October 28, 2021 by Tap

[Clarita]

1 hour ago, Tap said:

I knew several families that would send thier kids out to other people's homes to get candy, to hand out at thier own homes. The kids would mix up costumes and go out again and again. It wasn't obvious unless you knew the kids well enough to recognize them behind the mask. They thought it was funny, but it seemed icky to me. They didn't want to pay for the candy themselves, so they had their kids go get it from the neighbors. 

For the record I wasn't doing that. It's just 3 pillowcases of candy is too much candy for one child. Also at the time my parents didn't know you could just turn off your lights. Also I was unaware I could just stop collecting candy. 

[PinkTulip]

We lived in a “destination” ToT neighborhood for several years and I absolutely loved it.  It was a long, dead-end street of about 40 houses and almost everyone went all out with decorations and candy. We barricaded the entrance to the street with garbage cans so no cars could come in or out, making it very safe for families to walk from house to house. A handful of neighbors would complain about the van-loads of being kids dropped off, but I was glad to give kids a safe place to ToT that maybe they didn’t have that opportunity in their own neighborhood. Everyone who came was kind and respectful - we would just sit out on the front porch all night to hand out candy because there was such a steady stream. I typically started buying candy in late August to spread out the cost of so much candy. Such happy memories of those Halloweens!

[Bambam]

15 hours ago, Clarita said:

I think perhaps this is something to bring up to your HOA. Well probably first your neighbors see how many would back you on this complaint. 

In some of our popular trick or treat destinations the city (like police) get involved. Like they'll patrol the area that night, block streets, direct traffic. Non of these streets are made for the traffic they see on one night but at least some safety precautions are being taken. 

The HOA is the biggest fan and advertiser of our neighborhood trick or treating.  Many of the residents here also have concerns about safety, but the HOA does not seem to care. 

I hadn't thought about asking law enforcement to direct traffic, get involved, but that might be a good idea. We aren't in the city limits, so it would have to be the county sheriff.  

[HS Mom in NC]

On today's episode of Why Gen X Like That? The Halloween Special:

 

[ktgrok]

I don't love people driving in, but at the same time, if I had kids and lived in a neighborhood where there were no houses giving out candy I'm sure I'd drive somewhere better too. 

My old neighborhood were were a place people drove to. 

[history-fan]

We used to get a hundred kids plus from all different neighborhoods with parents driving them in then about 3 years ago the schools started having afternoon and evening Halloween programs for kids and families. With those school activities going on we have had zero kids.

[vonfirmath]

52 minutes ago, Bambam said:

The HOA is the biggest fan and advertiser of our neighborhood trick or treating.  Many of the residents here also have concerns about safety, but the HOA does not seem to care. 

I hadn't thought about asking law enforcement to direct traffic, get involved, but that might be a good idea. We aren't in the city limits, so it would have to be the county sheriff.  

Isn't the HOA voted in by the residents? So if enough residents cared, you just vote in people that share your concerns

[mom2scouts]

On 10/27/2021 at 9:45 AM, HeartString said:

We’ve never lived in neighborhoods where the neighbors handed out candy so we always go to a nearby neighborhood. I’m sure that bothers some people but the alternative is my kids miss trick or treating because of where we live.  When I say no one hands out candy I mean quiet literally not one single house, not just “a bad haul”.  The “haul” has never been the point, participant in a cultural activity is.  The attitude that kids should just miss out if the live somewhere with neighbors who don’t participate is kind of gross.  

We lived in a low income neighborhood for a long time and not a single one of our neighbors passed out candy. My older kids didn't even know about trick or treat for a long time because we just didn't do it. One year we did finally walk to a nearby neighborhood to trick or treat and then we moved to a neighborhood where almost everyone participated.

[Bambam]

4 hours ago, vonfirmath said:

Isn't the HOA voted in by the residents? So if enough residents cared, you just vote in people that share your concerns

Yes, technically this is true.  However, in real life, it's a little more unpleasant. Very few want to run for office possibly due to the personalities involved.  This HOA is better than the last one - which was the developer and his relatives.  Mostly the HOA isn't a big thing here (no common areas at all - just maintenance of the gates and the roads). It's just this Halloween thing is so strange to me. The idea of driving around to various neighborhoods. I could understand if you lived rural or in an unsafe neighborhoods, but our neighborhood isn't really treat or trick friendly - except for the folks giving out candy. If I drove by it, I'd not come due to the traffic alone. 

[QueenCat]

20 hours ago, Spryte said:

A big thanks to all of you who go out of your way to offer something allergy friendly! It’s people like you who make kids like mine incredibly happy. It’s really special.

Can we all be neighbors? 😊

We have our Teal pumpkin filled with vampire teeth 😉

[QueenCat]

3 hours ago, Bambam said:

Yes, technically this is true.  However, in real life, it's a little more unpleasant. Very few want to run for office possibly due to the personalities involved.  This HOA is better than the last one - which was the developer and his relatives.  Mostly the HOA isn't a big thing here (no common areas at all - just maintenance of the gates and the roads). 

My dh and I have held different positions on two different HOA boards... Never again... it's a thankless job and there are always people that won't be happy with decisions made. Often, there is no choice in the decisions, due to legal ramifications or liability. 

[Paige]

We stay in our neighborhood because we've always lived in fairly decent ToT neighborhoods. I don't care at all where the kids who come to my door live. I think kids who live in shady or remote areas have just as much a desire and right to have a fun time as mine. I buy what I buy and when it runs out we turn our lights out. We rarely run out. I remember we lived on post one year and the trick or treat crowd was insane!! I'm sure all the kids lived there, but I was warned to buy a lot and bought twice as much and we still ran out within about an hour.

[alisoncooks]

We’ve always gone to walkable neighborhoods to ToT. We live on a busy main road with little Halloween participation. We always drove to an actual neighborhood, parked, and walked around. Candy has never been our focus — seeing decorations and costumes and my kids showing off their costumes…that’s what we look forward to. 

Now that my kids are older, we still drive elsewhere.  They go to a friend’s home where they all ToT in a small, walkable downtown area together. 

[hippymamato3]

On 10/27/2021 at 9:25 AM, Bambam said:

Our neighborhood is a popular spot for trick or treating. We are not close to any neighborhoods (3 miles out of town), and folks drive here to bring their kids to trick or treat.  In fact, our neighborhood has been shared at a premium place to trick or treat on various FB groups in our local area. For the past several years, the few streets we have are bumper to bumper traffic with so many folks.  We've even had folks driving pick up trucks pulling trailers with hay bales bringing even more trick or treaters. 

When I was growing up and when my kids were little, people trick or treated in their own neighbors - or maybe grandma's. Is this typical now that folks go all about to find the best haul? 

It's always been that way I think! 

We live in a gated community that opens its doors for the whole town. Most houses give out full size candy bars. It's super fun and so exciting for the kids. Our town limits hours and has a specific day to go trick or treating. 

Edited October 29, 2021 by hippymamato3

[vonfirmath]

6 hours ago, QueenCat said:

My dh and I have held different positions on two different HOA boards... Never again... it's a thankless job and there are always people that won't be happy with decisions made. Often, there is no choice in the decisions, due to legal ramifications or liability. 

Yes I've been on HOA boards. I'd do it again -- if the rest of my life was not so hectic. I think of it as a responsibility akin to serving on a jury. (And only if there is a HOA management company to help advise on those liability, etc issues. I have no desire to turn a volunteer thankless position into a full time job!) I advise it for anyone who lives in a HOA and thinks they are just power-grubbing maniacs.  Honestly -- we usually had trouble finding people to run for the positions.

Edited October 29, 2021 by vonfirmath

[TravelingChris]

On 10/27/2021 at 8:05 PM, Spryte said:

A big thanks to all of you who go out of your way to offer something allergy friendly! It’s people like you who make kids like mine incredibly happy. It’s really special.

Can we all be neighbors? 😊

But everyone has different allergies!  Like my dd2 is very allergic to citrus and less allergic to peanuts.  (She is an adult but this was also true when she was younger)>

 

[QueenCat]

9 hours ago, vonfirmath said:

Yes I've been on HOA boards. I'd do it again -- if the rest of my life was not so hectic. I think of it as a responsibility akin to serving on a jury. (And only if there is a HOA management company to help advise on those liability, etc issues. I have no desire to turn a volunteer thankless position into a full time job!) I advise it for anyone who lives in a HOA and thinks they are just power-grubbing maniacs.  Honestly -- we usually had trouble finding people to run for the positions.

Definitely only with a management company... I say "never" but one never really knows. I just remember the headaches from people being so mean publicly about people on the HOA board. They didn't have a clue... 

[Spryte]

2 hours ago, TravelingChris said:

But everyone has different allergies!  Like my dd2 is very allergic to citrus and less allergic to peanuts.  (She is an adult but this was also true when she was younger)>

 

Sure, of course they do. 

My kids just get excited when someone makes an effort. Any effort makes them feel included, even if it doesn’t mean they can actually eat it. DS is anaphylactic to seven foods, (and cats), and the only candy he can eat is crazy expensive stuff we order from specialty shops. But he ToTed in gloves. When he was small, and spending lots of time in the ER, he’d empty his candy into the cauldron and we’d just pass it out to other kids. The Switch Witch would leave a different bag of safe candy on the table. He’d toss the gloves. We were very careful. No one is going to manage his allergies, unless they give non-food treats. 

But with the teal pumpkin project, more and more people are aware and just making an effort. He’s a little too old to *want* plastic vampire teeth, but he gets excited for the little kids with allergies when we see a teal pumpkin sign and someone giving out non-food treats. Or any treats labeled “allergy friendly” that some can eat (but not him).

DD is only anaphylactic to one food. We just continued the Switch Witch, but she also gets to eat some of the candy she collects. 

But, yeh, the huge spread of allergies is the reason we stuff little goodie bags with fun things to pass out, no food. And for anyone older, we have the glowing cauldron mentioned above—we turn all the little flashlights on and it’s pretty impressive. It’s always a huge hit. 
 

 

 

[QueenCat]

2 hours ago, TravelingChris said:

But everyone has different allergies!  Like my dd2 is very allergic to citrus and less allergic to peanuts.  (She is an adult but this was also true when she was younger)>

 

That's why I do vampire teeth. rather than something one eats.

[Dmmetler]

2 hours ago, TravelingChris said:

But everyone has different allergies!  Like my dd2 is very allergic to citrus and less allergic to peanuts.  (She is an adult but this was also true when she was younger)>

 

That's one reason why I always have at least one non-food option, because as someone with an unusual allergy (I have spice allergies, especially cinnamon), I know how frustrating it is to have the "anti-allergy" option be something that could easily require an EpiPen. 
 

My brother is sensitive to artificial colors and would have just absolutely horrible, off the wall, impulsive, hyperactive behavior. Looking back on it, I suspect part of my mom's "Halloween isn't something Christians should celebrate" was because, as a child, he had absolutely no restraint, and an orange frosted cupcake or a handful of candy corn would send him into a tailspin for several days, so avoiding Halloween parties and trick or treating side stepped the issue. 

[Farrar]

My kids do a bit of ToT in a neighborhood with friends nowhere near here.

But when they were little, our direct neighborhood was still too... um... let's go with in between gentrification stages... to have much of a ToT scene. So we would walk over one neighborhood to one of the city's Halloween streets. This is just a thing in most urban centers and has been forever. This is a street they close for ToT. There's a couple of bonfires in the street (in portable fire pits). There's a shadow puppet show, a lot of live music, a massive costume contest. When my kids were little and we had friends on that block, we'd hang with them and basically go house to house chatting with adults and getting Halloween cups refilled with adult beverages as we went. It's wall to wall people. One year, Balletboy was the Eiffel Tower (his request!) and he won the costume contest for his age group. My step-sister lived in a group house on that block for a year and she said when she moved in, the housemates interview was basically, are you willing to commit to Lamont Street Halloween.

I know it's weird for the people on the street. I used to bring a bag of candy and walk up to someone handing out on their stoop and offer to refill their supply.

[kokotg]

Our neighborhood is only about 30 houses, so we have a Halloween parade every year where everyone gets together at the same time and walks around, and people sit at the end of their driveways handing out candy. That happens at 5:30, and then we head down the street to a friend's neighborhood. She has a Halloween party every year and usually (in non-covid times) sets up a haunted house in her garage. Big kids hang out with friends there these days and our youngest TOTs in the neighborhood.

[HS Mom in NC]

In the last neighborhood we lived in before the move (900 houses with yards 2-4 times the size of the footprint of the 3,000-4,000 sq. foot houses) there was an annual  neighborhood block party potluck dinner for the neighborhood before TOTing.  It was posted on neighborhood social media for homeowners/renters and then there were kids in from all over area at sunset until about 9pm for TOTing.  (This wasn't the house next to tribal land.)

The year before that youngest went to a friend's neighborhood in a wealthy community in the "mountains" around PHX.  There were a few wine bars set up for the adults as part of an all night block party  on some cul-de-sacs.  2-3 6ft. long tables covered with scores of bottles of wine and red solo cups were available to any adults walking through with TOTers or locals, or friends of locals who came to party. There were also tables full of candy for the kids to take from as they pleased.

I also went to a Day of the Dead party in south PHX one year with a local. It was the most amazing thing ever.  There was soooo much fantastic Mexican food and candy made by actual Mexican abuelitas (sp?) and bonfires and partying.  I never ate so well in my whole life.  They were very welcoming and fed anyone who showed up.

[fraidycat]

We've done our own neighborhood or the neighborhood of a friend, depending on the year. We don't do multiple neighborhoods in one day, though.

The best was when we were kids, though. We lived on a farm and Dad would drive us around to all the neighboring farms. We'd hit maybe 10 or 15 places and our pillowcases were full.

[TravelingChris]

And I used to have alternatives to candy at my house when I actually had kids coming.  I mean I may get a few kids but I live on a very steep street on one side- the other street to my part of the neighborhood is a long less steep walk.  We don't know who, if any, got candy last year.  This year, I am not sure if we will put out our candy in a bowl again or if we will be here in person.

[Bootsie]

We lived in a neighborhood that was known for having people from other areas come Trick-or-Treat.  It an older neighborhood in a relatively affluent part of town with sidewalks houses close together, streets that went straight through in a grid fashion from main arteries.  Ad the neighborhood did not have a gated entry like many of the other more affluent areas.  I would have couple come up to the door carrying a toddler--and hold out three pillowcases--one for mom, on for dad, one for toddler.  There would be groups of 20 at a time jumping out of a truck; and they were known to go to the same houses more than one time.  I would look and wonder how much of the candy they really ate and how long it would take to eat through a pillowcase of candy.  Most of the neighborhood kids would arrive early.  The large groups can later in the evening.  We gave out however much candy we had and then turned out the light.  (We occassionally had knocking on the door even though our light was out).  

[rutheart]

My MIL's neighborhood is one that attracts way too many trick or treaters. 1,000+ pieces of candy does not last long.  The kids come to the door 4-6 at a time, and as one group is leaving, another is coming, so they end up trampling most of the grass in the front yard. It's a constant stream to her door until all the candy is gone, usually about an hour. The kids don't linger because they know everyone will run out of candy in a short time, so you don't get to enjoy the outfits. The night is just a blur of hands reaching into the bowls.

We haven't been able to participate in ToT for many years due to my daughter's airborne anaphylactic allergy to cinnamon. Too many people have cinnamon brooms or other scented decor on their front porch or through their open door. We can't even do trunk or treating because some people scent their cars with cinnamon. Our tradition now is to just buy candy for us and watch a fun movie at home.