Facebook/College parent groups/Need to step away

[marbel]

I know we don't need another CV thread but I'm dying over here...

I belong to my kids' college parent facebook pages and a general college parent page. As schools are making decisions about how to handle CV I am becoming seriously disgusted with parents whose first reaction to closures, extended spring breaks, etc. is:

"When are they going to give refunds?"   "We paid $xxxx for our kids' dorm and meal plan, what are they doing to do about that?"  

I mean... yeah, we paid money too. Pretty much everyone who has a kid in college housing has  paid some money for that. But the money has been spent. Can people just give these schools a little time to figure this stuff out?

ETA: One kid's school is extending spring break by a week. That's all they are doing so far. So... for me the financial impact is an uptick in groceries and utilities for a week. I  understand that for some students it's not that simple, but I still don't get calling for refunds already. 

 

Edited March 11, 2020 by marbel

[Joker]

Sounds like our kids go to the same school because ds' college parent page is exactly the same. It's frustrating. 

[Arcadia]

I saw that on quite a few colleges Facebook main pages, not the parents pages. My friend is just worried and wants her child home but UCSD has not cancelled in person classes.

[Kassia]

I am seeing this everywhere - actually on both sides.  Parents are demanding money back for housing and dining.  On the other hand, some parents are angry about the move to online courses because they feel their tuition money was spent for classroom experiences.  

[catz]

Ugh - I agree.  Who could have forseen or planned for this.  It stinks for everyone involved.  Let's just take a deep breath and try to pull together.  My kid scheduled to come home for one week this weekend will now be home for at least 4 weeks.  There are some contingency plans for kids that cannot leave campus.  

Edited March 11, 2020 by FuzzyCatz

[sassenach]

My school is clearing the dorms. They have officially only called in-person classes off until April, but they clearly think this is it for the semester. It's stressful all around.

[SanDiegoMom]

I know! I responded for the first time to someone’s posting a study of the inferiority of online learning vs in person classes. I just couldn’t take it. Yes i want my kid in in person classes which is why we sent her across the country .... but obviously this is unprecedented. And though things could change right now it is scheduled for only two weeks of the quarter. 

[regentrude]

Damn if you do, damn if you don't. People complain about the switch to online classes and yes, it sucks - but imagine the uproar if there were a corona outbreak on a college campus and students actually die. I don't envy the college presidents who have to make the call.

FWIW, instructors are scrambling to switch to online courses and are doing the best they can on such short notice. Will it be ideal and on par with an online course that has been thoughtfully designed over the course of several months? Of course not. But it WILL be an aid to students to learn that is way more than just reading the textbook, and students WILL get to finish their courses this semester and not be a semester behind. That's what counts right now. Expecting normalcy and perfection in the face of an unprecedented emergency is unrealistic.

ETA: I teach a class that has 450 students. I had sleepless nights over how to make online exams work. We are doing the best we can to prepare. 

Edited March 11, 2020 by regentrude

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I would like upset parents to consider that it sounds like no universities are planning to delay the students' credit completion or graduation, somehow, even if they're going to have to come up with fairly convoluted plans for studio and lab work. (My son's university is going to create a non-crowded schedule for asymptomatic students to use the lab and studio facilities, after a two-week break for cleaning and watchfulness, even though the live campus classes and gatherings will be suspended.)

So there will be massive inconveniences and upsets, but there are obvious attempts to progress on time, instead of jeopardizing scholarships and other time-specific concerns.

[SKL]

Yes, it's stressful.  I'm trying to figure out a lot of things for my kids, who are not really old enough to be left drifting indefinitely.  Thankfully I work at home; I am sure it is worse for many.

I am sure all this will blow over, but in the mean time, it's strange to not be sure where we're gonna be and what we're gonna do for the next several months.  I assume people are venting this stress all kinds of ways.

[Arcadia]

19 minutes ago, regentrude said:

ETA: I teach a class that has 450 students. I had sleepless nights over how to make online exams work. We are doing the best we can to prepare. 

DS15’s community college math lecturer had ask him to be one of the guinea pigs for testing out the online class setup. The campus is trying out Zoom as temporary substitute for in person classes.

[Guest]

I am absolutely baffled by parents who are furious about their kid’s cancelled/online classes. 

And I have decided I have to snooze a couple of friends because I cannot take the conspiracy theorizing about this. If someone actually thinks entire economies are closing down for a fake virus that’s just a version of the flu, then...I don’t know what to say. Enjoy your bubble? I hope nobody you love dies or gets critically ill? I’m struggling with how to be gracious about that. 

[RootAnn]

7 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

DS15’s community college math lecturer had ask him to be one of the guinea pigs for testing out the online class setup. The campus is trying out Zoom as temporary substitute for in person classes.

I wish DD's U would ask some of the students to do the same. After so many years doing online classes, DD knows some of the tech better than the profs. She could help set up modules & tests on Canvas, interact on Zoom to help them get used to it, etc.

Re: FB & people going crazy

I have to count to 10 and mumble, "bless your heart" a few times... Tensions are high.

[sassenach]

1 hour ago, Arcadia said:

DS15’s community college math lecturer had ask him to be one of the guinea pigs for testing out the online class setup. The campus is trying out Zoom as temporary substitute for in person classes.

I hope Zoom's systems are ready for the influx. Between the high schools, colleges, and businesses who are all planning on using it, that's a pretty big increase.

[Arcadia]

3 minutes ago, sassenach said:

I hope Zoom's systems are ready for the influx. Between the high schools, colleges, and businesses who are all planning on using it, that's a pretty big increase.

Zoom is one of the companies offering schools free use during this coronavirus pandemic. It also allows interaction between teachers and students. I think now is a good time for Zoom, Microsoft Teams, Google Hangouts, LogMeIn GoToMeeting & GoToWebinar, and Cisco WebEx to scale up.

https://www.inc.com/jason-aten/these-5-tech-companies-are-providing-free-remote-working-tools-during-coronavirus-outbreak.html

[Tree Frog]

2 hours ago, RootAnn said:

I wish DD's U would ask some of the students to do the same. After so many years doing online classes, DD knows some of the tech better than the profs. She could help set up modules & tests on Canvas, interact on Zoom to help them get used to it, etc.

Re: FB & people going crazy

I have to count to 10 and mumble, "bless your heart" a few times... Tensions are high.

 As difficult as it is for parents and students, I can't imaging how difficult it must be for professors to learn the tech and revamp their plans with a week or so notice! They may appreciate an offer to help if needed.

Edited March 12, 2020 by wilrunner

[lewelma]

My ds is telling some real horror stories. One kid is heading back to a hotspot in NY. His father is 60 and has respiratory issues.  Unfortunately, he is the only bread winner for the family and is a taxi driver so can't isolate himself.  The money is a big issue. Some kids at MIT are food stressed, some kids have visa issues if they leave, some kids cannot go home.  One of my son's friends has fled Venezuela. There are currently about 100 families willing to take international students into their homes for free for 5 months. 

[Chris in VA]

Online school (after an extra week of Spring Break) is the plan at James Madison Uni where dd goes. Except, the music program is not really the type of major that will be able to hold class online. All concerts are canceled, too. 

Am I mad? No. Disappointed though. I am in country only til the end of March, and I was looking forward to hearing her play. It is the only time I will be able to be there. 

Edited March 12, 2020 by Chris in VA

[lewelma]

8 hours ago, Kassia said:

I am seeing this everywhere - actually on both sides.  Parents are demanding money back for housing and dining.  On the other hand, some parents are angry about the move to online courses because they feel their tuition money was spent for classroom experiences.  

I'm not mad, but very sad. We pay a fortune in NZ$ for a US school, and online is really not worth the money at all. But I'm hopeful that it is just for half a term and that they will be back by September.  crossing fingers. 

But what I was trying to say above, is that there are some parents where the money IS a really really big deal.  As in their kids have to take donations to eat at MIT (my son donates his unused meals to this charity). There are parents that are actually thinking about paying for food for their kids who will now be at home, paying with money they really don't have. They were discussing needing a refund, and others were getting hacked off at the insensitivity of focusing on money at a time like this.  Luckily, calmer voices appeared on the MIT facebook page talking about the need for each of us to understand where the others were coming from.  There are simply a LOT of students at MIT who are really poor. My heart breaks to think that they are living in cook-yourself dorms because they can't afford a meal plan, but then they can't afford food to cook either.  Students at MIT should not be begging for food. 😞

Edited March 12, 2020 by lewelma

[WendyLady]

My daughter’s school has announced that they will not hold graduation ceremonies. I get why, but I’m terribly sad. She and her husband are both graduating and commissioning into the Air Force this spring. I know we can celebrate as a family, but I want the big graduation. I did not graduate from college and this feels like a really big deal to me (for her).

[marbel]

Oh, I don't mean to sound callous about people who have real issues such as no place to  live, etc.  That I understand. What I am seeing is: "ugh, my kid is going to be doing online school and living at home for x number of weeks, I want my $$$ back!"  

[kiwik]

7 hours ago, lewelma said:

I'm not mad, but very sad. We pay a fortune in NZ$ for a US school, and online is really not worth the money at all. But I'm hopeful that it is just for half a term and that they will be back by September.  crossing fingers. 

But what I was trying to say above, is that there are some parents where the money IS a really really big deal.  As in their kids have to take donations to eat at MIT (my son donates his unused meals to this charity). There are parents that are actually thinking about paying for food for their kids who will now be at home, paying with money they really don't have. They were discussing needing a refund, and others were getting hacked off at the insensitivity of focusing on money at a time like this.  Luckily, calmer voices appeared on the MIT facebook page talking about the need for each of us to understand where the others were coming from.  There are simply a LOT of students at MIT who are really poor. My heart breaks to think that they are living in cook-yourself dorms because they can't afford a meal plan, but then they can't afford food to cook either.  Students at MIT should not be begging for food. 😞

If you have no money to buy food for someone you have already paid for food for it is necessity rather than selfishness that makes you ask for refunds.  Not having to focus on things like that is a luxury many cannot afford.

[Arcadia]

For anyone interested Vox article 

Microsoft, Google, and Zoom are trying to keep up with demand for their now free work-from-home software https://www.vox.com/recode/2020/3/11/21173449/microsoft-google-zoom-slack-increased-demand-free-work-from-home-software

[WendyLady]

16 hours ago, WendyLady said:

My daughter’s school has announced that they will not hold graduation ceremonies. I get why, but I’m terribly sad. She and her husband are both graduating and commissioning into the Air Force this spring. I know we can celebrate as a family, but I want the big graduation. I did not graduate from college and this feels like a really big deal to me (for her).

AND they've now cancelled classes starting tomorrow and are moving to online only for the rest of the semester.  It won't have a huge affect (other than than no more in-person college classes!?!) on the dd in the quote above as she and her husband live in an apartment off campus, but my younger daughter is a freshman in the dorms, and they are being encouraged to go home. She could stay at her grandparents' house nearby, or come home, or even stay in her dorm for a time.  She's not sure what to do....  And we will have to arrange moving her out, etc.  Lots to get figured out in a short time.  Luckily we are just a 6 hour drive away and my parents live near our college kids if they need more help.  Crazy times!!

 

Edited March 12, 2020 by WendyLady

[73349]

If they're Americans, I might ask whether the money they're out is equivalent to their copay for 20 days in the hospital--that's what a lot of faculty and staff are looking at if they keep teaching face to face.

A lot of people are losing money, but likely 10% of those infected will go bankrupt from the hospital costs (including some who also die and leave their families with this financial burden as well as the grief).

[marbel]

Thanks to all who commented.  Lots to think about for sure. I do understand the challenges all these closures and cancellations cause. Things are changing so rapidly and I do feel for people who are stuck in bad situations.  But having people who are not in an immediate vulnerable financial situation screaming for refunds because their kids will be home an extra week and they have to buy extra groceries... not helpful to anyone.  I know my kids' schools are working on assisting kids in difficult financial circumstances.  

[KungFuPanda]

My daughter has put in an application to be allowed to remain in her campus apartment.  As long as she has power and water she doesn't need any staff support. Her classes have been suspended, and her student teaching assignment shut down when it was discovered that a kid in her high school placement was exposed to corona virus.  This was a few days BEFORE the entire state shut down public schools through March 27th.

She's doing online classes and continuing to go to her part time job.  She's getting lots of hours now that a lot of the employees left when campus emptied.  So, she's very much interacting with the public daily and if she plans to come home, I need her to quarantine first to make sure she doesn't bring anything to her immune-compromised brother.  We certainly don't have the money for a THIRD residence. 

It's tricky.  I don't want either kid to get sick, and I don't want my daughter alone if/when she does, but her personal risk is so much lower than everyone else's.  As of this afternoon, she was still working on lesson plans for virtual classes for the highschoolers and was scheduled to take a skype call with her mentor.  Contact with students has stopped, but her workload hasn't lightened.

I kind of feel like the colleges are dodging responsibility for containing the risk in their communities by scattering it to the four winds and sending all of the kids home.

 

Edited March 13, 2020 by KungFuPanda

[catz]

31 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

My daughter has put in an application to be allowed to remain in her campus apartment.  As long as she has power and water she doesn't need any staff support. Her classes have been suspended, and her student teaching assignment shut down when it was discovered that a kid in her high school placement was exposed to corona virus.  This was a few days BEFORE the entire state shut down public schools through March 27th.

She's doing online classes and continuing to go to her part time job.  She's getting lots of hours now that a lot of the employees left when campus emptied.  So, she's very much interacting with the public daily and if she plans to come home, I need her to quarantine first to make sure she doesn't bring anything to her immune-compromised brother.  We certainly don't have the money for a THIRD residence. 

It's tricky.  I don't want either kid to get sick, and I don't want my daughter alone if/when she does, but her personal risk is so much lower than everyone else's.  As of this afternoon, she was still working on lesson plans for virtual classes for the highschoolers and was scheduled to take a skype call with her mentor.  Contact with students has stopped, but her workload hasn't lightened.

I kind of feel like the colleges are dodging responsibility for containing the risk in their communities by scattering it to the four winds and sending all of the kids home.

 

I don't know.  Feels like they're damned no matter what they do.  If they had a major outbreak  and spread in a dorm and had high risk students getting very sick on their watch and their parents having a hard time getting to them, that wouldn't be so great either.   There were a number of kids with various health concerns who've parents have posted relief at the news of going online.   I'm glad many schools do have a contingency plans for kids that cannot go back to their permanent addresses.   I've heard a few schools aren't doing a great job with that.  I hope your daughter's application is accepted to stay in housing.  I know my son's school only is requiring the application as a formality.  Everyone who applies is allowed to stay on campus. I think they just want to track who and how many are staying.  

[Bootsie]

My son's school just sent a letter with this statement (along with other information):

1. If you do not remain on-campus during the on-line instructional period, you will be given a credit for housing and dining (if applicable). Specific amounts are unknown at this time and as information is made available, we will communicate with you.

 

 

[SKL]

On 3/13/2020 at 2:34 PM, KungFuPanda said:

My daughter has put in an application to be allowed to remain in her campus apartment.  As long as she has power and water she doesn't need any staff support. Her classes have been suspended, and her student teaching assignment shut down when it was discovered that a kid in her high school placement was exposed to corona virus.  This was a few days BEFORE the entire state shut down public schools through March 27th.

She's doing online classes and continuing to go to her part time job.  She's getting lots of hours now that a lot of the employees left when campus emptied.  So, she's very much interacting with the public daily and if she plans to come home, I need her to quarantine first to make sure she doesn't bring anything to her immune-compromised brother.  We certainly don't have the money for a THIRD residence. 

It's tricky.  I don't want either kid to get sick, and I don't want my daughter alone if/when she does, but her personal risk is so much lower than everyone else's.  As of this afternoon, she was still working on lesson plans for virtual classes for the highschoolers and was scheduled to take a skype call with her mentor.  Contact with students has stopped, but her workload hasn't lightened.

I kind of feel like the colleges are dodging responsibility for containing the risk in their communities by scattering it to the four winds and sending all of the kids home.

 

I don't see how colleges can be expected to be equipped to deal with this kind of thing.  Their normal population is young and healthy with a small % of exceptions.  Also, with the staff and many students no longer available, an individual student will not have much support should s/he need anything.  I would add that with most people going home, it would make sense for them to cut their safety services etc. so it may be an unsafe place crime-wise for a young woman.  At least when I lived in a dorm, there is no way it would have been safe to be essentially alone on campus.

[Selkie]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

I don't see how colleges can be expected to be equipped to deal with this kind of thing.  Their normal population is young and healthy with a small % of exceptions.  Also, with the staff and many students no longer available, an individual student will not have much support should s/he need anything.  I would add that with most people going home, it would make sense for them to cut their safety services etc. so it may be an unsafe place crime-wise for a young woman.  At least when I lived in a dorm, there is no way it would have been safe to be essentially alone on campus.

Not to mention that if a student got sick while staying in the dorms, it would be next to impossible to quarantine them because of the shared bathrooms.

[Murphy101]

For some parents they may need that money to bring their kid home. Not everyone has the funds for unexpected plane or bus tickets and so forth. 

I’m annoyed that they are moving to online classes but not closing the campus.  So all the kids are still in dorms, all the kids still have to go to campus work jobs, all the kids still have to eat in the same cafeteria.  I get it.  Obviously no one gives a damn if the kids get sick since most wont die of it - they just want to protect the older staff.  I just don’t agree with that management.

 

[KungFuPanda]

2 hours ago, SKL said:

I don't see how colleges can be expected to be equipped to deal with this kind of thing.  Their normal population is young and healthy with a small % of exceptions.  Also, with the staff and many students no longer available, an individual student will not have much support should s/he need anything.  I would add that with most people going home, it would make sense for them to cut their safety services etc. so it may be an unsafe place crime-wise for a young woman.  At least when I lived in a dorm, there is no way it would have been safe to be essentially alone on campus.

 

16 minutes ago, Selkie said:

Not to mention that if a student got sick while staying in the dorms, it would be next to impossible to quarantine them because of the shared bathrooms.

I see your point, but if the virus affected everyone like it affected college-aged kids it wouldn't be considered a crisis.  Their numbers are low and they're not the ones developing the respiratory stress that's so dangerous. They'd handle it among themselves like every other bug they get.