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post christmas kid attitudes


ktgrok
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Anyone else dealing with cranky, whiny, obnoxious kids? Melt downs, rude behavior, tears, etc. Ugh.

And they got hover boards for christmas and there has been SO MUCH CRYING and drama and angst over falling, "it's too hard", etc etc. Mind you, they BEGGED for them. And they are doing fine, they just are not experts yet. Which normally isn't a problem but with the post holiday angst they cannot handle it it seems. Whole neighborhood probably heard me refusing to help my nearly 10 year old step off of it as she cried and carried on that she was terrified. the thing is 2 inches off the ground, was moving slower than an earthworm, and she was on the grass! Just step off! No, I will NOT pick you up and carry you off of it!

ARGH!

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Yes! My 19 and 17 yo were at each other over and over yesterday. I just want a peaceful house and not have me doing all the work. So today I took their phones away and they had to do 10 helpful deeds before they could get them back. Easy stuff, like pick up the bathroom floor, play with the dog, empty the dish rack. Youngest still has a pretty bad attitude, but mine improved immensely!

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3 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

Lol.  This year, our kids got one big gift for Christmas on Christmas day and that was a Nintendo Switch.  My kids already learned long ago that mom doesn't help with video games.  And DH doesn't help with their video games either.  He hooks them up and we monitor playing time, but yeah, we don't have too much "it's too hard!" from video games anymore.  Because the answer is "if it's too hard, then shut it off, because mommy can't help."

Lol, I purposely have no clue how to work the Xbox that the kids inherited from DS20. I refuse to learn, so that I can in all honesty say, 'I have no idea how to help, sorry."

DH does play and help them, and DS20 will as well, but I refuse to take that on. And obviously I'll need a similar approach with the hover boards. 

But heck, I'm sure I sounded cruel to the neighbors, but for crying out loud!!!! I've seen people with serious injuries not make so much fuss! And she is one who will work herself up more and more and more if you feed into it at all. You have to force her through it and then she's fine. But I sound likes the world's meanest mom until then. (and yes, I'd already tried logic, compassion, and cheerleading.)

She needed to figure out that the only way to get off, was to get off. Sort of like when I went rock climbing and remembered at the top that I'm terrified of heights and of that dropping sensation. And to get down you have to drop just an inch or two as the belay catches you. I panicked for a split second and then realized that the only alternative was staying up there forever, which was even worse than falling into the belay ropes, lol. But see, I could rationalize that, and stay cool. 

She did NOT inherit my "cool under pressure, fall apart afterward" personality. At all. She's "panic first, think it through later". And ain't nobody got time for that!

(DS was the one crying over it yesterday, but with him you can let him have a break (or make him have one) and cool off, and then he can listen to you rationally and try again. She, on th e other hand, needs to get back on the horse immediately or she'll build it up in her head until she's convinced it is not a horse but a giant man eating dinosaur and be more scared than when she started)

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TERRIBLE.  My 6 year old is the WORST.  "Santa" got our 6 & 8 year old boys a Nintendo switch and $60 gift cards to buy a new game each.  My 6 year old freaked out on Christmas morning when he found out the 1 1/2 year old and 4 year old had more presents to unwrap than him.  They got like wooden blocks, a Barbie, a little people vehicle $20 things.  That's a bundle of over $400.  My 8 year old tried to explain their gifts were more valuable than the girls', but he didn't care.  He refused to play his Guess Who game when I asked if he wanted to play because the people looked ugly on it.  He lost a nonessential piece to a lego set and now doesn't ever want to finish it or look for a replacement piece.  He is mad because he got a star wars lego set instead of a mine craft one like his brother even though he asked for a star wars one, we just bought the wrong one.  He has wanted everything everyone else had.  He is being a brat.  He is throwing a fit because his brother got further along on one of the new video games than he is.  My 4 year old threw the toy my inlaws bought her and said "I don't want it, I don't play with baby toys."  Both boys asked us if we wanted to know their leas favorite gifts.  Um NO! My 8 year old got the electronic battleship game and he complained he didn't get the original game because it's way more fun than the electronic version. OMG I'm about to lose it.  They have NEVER acted like this.  They have been sick, so I'm feeling it is likely because of this, but still.  They opened presents on Christmas eve with my family and got 4 presents total from 4 people and that was totally enough.  Their attitude was ok at this point.  I don't think we should have bought a thing for them.  I regret doing Santa because now they expect presents from Santa.  UGH.  Then they got 1 more from mil/fil and 1 from sil.    I focus so hard on getting gifts I know they are REALLY into and I love to give to them.  We will for sure scale back next year.  The boys easily have $500+ worth of toys each all together and they are acting like brats.

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14 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

Lol.  This year, our kids got one big gift for Christmas on Christmas day and that was a Nintendo Switch.  My kids already learned long ago that mom doesn't help with video games.  And DH doesn't help with their video games either.  He hooks them up and we monitor playing time, but yeah, we don't have too much "it's too hard!" from video games anymore.  Because the answer is "if it's too hard, then shut it off, because mommy can't help."

Yeah mine are actually banned from theirs today, I was tired of the arguing.  I don't do the video games stuff either.  I don't even want them, but dh does.  sigh.

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Yes, well...right on Christmas morning, when we were all gathering to do Christmas morning stuff--and, critically, the grandparents were part of the gathering--the older one screams at the younger one, "What the f*** are you doing?" 

Nice.

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My kids have had bad years though.  I think this was the first year I seem to have gotten Christmas right since they were like 4.  One of my kids actually said, "I'm not disappointed at all."  LOL!  Really??

On the way to the grandparents' house, remembering something one of mine said last year, I warned them that the younger kids were going to get way more stuff than they were, because that's just the way it is and they better not say anything.  😛  To which my eldest (who made the comment last year) said "I would never do that."  So this year my 10yo niece made that same comment, LOL.  I'm sure her mom will give her a talking-to ....

A couple old photos popped up on my facebook on those time-hop posts "one year ago" / "three years ago" etc ... most of them bring back un-fond memories of kids with bad holiday attitudes ... the worst were ages 8/9 to 12.

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1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

But heck, I'm sure I sounded cruel to the neighbors, but for crying out loud!!!! I've seen people with serious injuries not make so much fuss! And she is one who will work herself up more and more and more if you feed into it at all. You have to force her through it and then she's fine. But I sound likes the world's meanest mom until then. (and yes, I'd already tried logic, compassion, and cheerleading.)

Haha. I have one like this and teaching her to ride a bicycle was awful! I'm sure people thought I was a terrible, abusive mom. 

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1 hour ago, EKS said:

Yes, well...right on Christmas morning, when we were all gathering to do Christmas morning stuff--and, critically, the grandparents were part of the gathering--the older one screams at the younger one, "What the f*** are you doing?" 

Nice.

OMG that makes me feel better! Christmas morning at my mom's DS7 (the one with PANDAS and mental health stuff) was given a gag gift of flavored crickets to eat. He got totally grossed out, everyone kept talking about them, he got more upset, people started passing them around eating them, he got more upset, and by the time I realized (I was in the kitchen) he was hiding under a couch and then ran off into another room (with his presents, lol) and refused to come out for over an hour. Sigh. 

5 minutes ago, alisoncooks said:

Haha. I have one like this and teaching her to ride a bicycle was awful! I'm sure people thought I was a terrible, abusive mom. 

Man, yeah, I was blocking out teaching her to ride a bike. It was exactly the same. 

Meanwhile, yesterday when DS7 was all upset I tried saying, "it is like when you learned to ride a bike - you didn't just get on and ride the first time, right?" And then he stared at me and I rmemeberd, actually, he DID just get on and ride the first time, lol! He's very coordinated and so that probably is why NOT being able to do something instantly was so frustrating. 

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Sympathy to all!!!

Red40 and other food dyes lead to meltdowns, crying, screaming, irritability, and argumentativeness at our house. There are many, many dyed treats around this time of year. If my daughter eats even a little, the effects don't wear off for several days.

Dye-free Christmas = happy Christmas here. 

ETA: Not trying to be preachy! I know there are lots of other contributing factors -- lack of sleep, age, differences, excitement, and on and on. Just sharing something that has helped us tremendously.

Edited by MercyA
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18 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

Ugh, the dreaded Christmas detox.  My six year old, in particular, is speaking less than kindly to her siblings and they’re giving back as good as they’re getting despite being older and supposedly more responsible and thoughtful 😒

We had our annual brunch with our friends today and everyone is tired and done.  I’m making them begin baths at 6:00 here and everyone shall be in bed by 7:30.  D.O.N.E.

I had a similar plan but DD9 is making potato latkes from her Raddish Kids subscription and it is taking FOREVER. And she's nearly melted down twice. 

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My kids haven't been bad, but DH and I had it out over a snarky remark.

And my most sarcastic in law focused her frustration on teasing my most sensitive child at DH's family Christmas.  I'm not sure she'll ever trust this her again, and she used to be her favorite. 

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So this might not work for all families, but I specifically choose gifts that will keep the kids OCCUPIED after Christmas.  (Ideally, occupied away from each other, LOL!!!)  It has worked great for a few years now.  

Little DD got a playmobil hospital.  She wanted a doctor's kit, but the kits are too babyish for an 8yo in my opinion (and require someone willing to be a patient).  So I got her the hospital.  Total success.  Although it took several of us working 12 hour shifts to construct the %&?!! thing, she has not moved from it since it was constructed.  

My oldest ds got several construction kits, and this was his first year without a lego gift.  The dollar per minute entertainment value for him with legos is just no longer reasonable.  🤣  The kits included some laser cut wooden construction kits, as well as parts for the RC airplane he's working on.  

Oldest dd got.... construction kits!  LOL.  For her, it was miniatures of a really cool doll house type model.  AND, she talked oldest ds into working with her on it, so they've actually been working together constructively for the last two days!  😱

And the little guy got legos and he builds them slowly enough that the price is worthwhile.  

 

I specifically chose gifts that I thought would give me peace and quiet over Christmas week.  And it actually worked.  Note that our holiday was also very calm- two guests on the 25, starting at noon and gone by 9pm.  That has been our only "thing".  I think the people talking about busy schedules, lack of routine, loss of sleep, and sugary foods are nailing it on the heads!  For most kids, it's probably less about the gifts/brattiness, and more about multiple days of lost routine. 

Stay strong, the season is almost over!  

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I did try to get gift to entertain them, but they all require adult help at this point it seems. 

Event he board games they need a bit of help reading the rules and such, plus I then have to occupy dd2 so she doesn't ruin the game, etc. 

But hopefully a good night's sleep and more food will fix this!

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I found when I was having mood issues, my kids would suck it up and some times we would all be spiraling together.  I just mention that because you've had several posts about your own mood and anger.  It can help to step away and try to reset everyone.  Go for a walk/outside, sit down and cuddle with a book, tell DH you need to step away, etc.  

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1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

I did try to get gift to entertain them, but they all require adult help at this point it seems. 

Event he board games they need a bit of help reading the rules and such, plus I then have to occupy dd2 so she doesn't ruin the game, etc. 

But hopefully a good night's sleep and more food will fix this!

I know, right?

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Hugs all around! We kept this year low-key: no travel (disappointing family, but it's just exhausting what they wanted us to do), only three days off school, no guests. It's working great.

 

Before you glare me to death, kindly keep in mind that DS's present from us was a drum kit, LOL.

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My ds has come m down from the sugar and is cranky for lack of activity and people. Quiet says at home are tedious for him. Both kids have been sleeping late and are being super lazy and grouchy when asked to do regular chores. 

 

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All of us have colds with perhaps a touch of the flu, so there is constant coughing and crankiness. The coughing puts me on edge, which I know isn't their fault, but my goodness! Just cough it up and move on! None of them really knows and is willing to blow their nose effectively, either. Ugh! So we are all staying home, mostly inside, and trying to get along and get to bed early. Since at least two cousins we spent time with last week came down with the full blown flu, we're trying to be grateful we haven't.

 

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On 12/27/2019 at 4:34 PM, Ktgrok said:

OMG that makes me feel better! Christmas morning at my mom's DS7 (the one with PANDAS and mental health stuff) was given a gag gift of flavored crickets to eat.  

Aw, poor lil guy, I think 7 is way too young to understand or appreciate a gag gift. They're all excited and then get something useless or gross, lol. 

 

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Yeah, maybe busy gifts are the ticket ... my youngest is easy as she likes engineering kits, crafts, and books ... and this year I bought her a bunch of baking stuff which she has put to use as well.  My eldest doesn't like any of those things, but she did get a cotton candy machine which she asked for (used it a couple times so far), and lots of cosmetics which she has experimented with.

I did schedule my kids for some post-Christmas activity also.  This year I only did camps they wanted - horse camp and cooking camp.  They also had some friend get-togethers and a Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert.  It was enough to keep them busy and content so far.

But now I am a little freaked out that there is still a whole week of school vacation ahead.  Normally we travel over break, but not this year.  I did warn the kids that I have "work" for them to do this second week.  This of course depends on my being energetic enough to push any of it.... 

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