wintermom Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 40 minutes ago, Scarlett said: Are you being sarcastic? Because I consider it exactly the same. It assumes that the OP's family is the only one who counts - the Canadian grandparents are no reason to keep him in Canada. And way down there with this young man's bad family is a military that is just a stint and couldn't possibly be worthy of much. It's only Canada, and who cares about that. We need to get this couple out of that dump and back to the US as quickly as possible. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 2 minutes ago, wintermom said: It assumes that the OP's family is the only one who counts - the Canadian grandparents are no reason to keep him in Canada. And way down there with this young man's bad family is a military that is just a stint and couldn't possibly be worthy of much. It's only Canada, and who cares about that. We need to get this couple out of that dump and back to the US as quickly as possible. Whatever. People should chill. Just a mama wanting her daughter close when grand babies come along. Nothing new under the sun. And sounds like the kids wanna be near the girls mama too. So much drama for no reason. Canada is probably great but the greatest is where your loved ones are. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popmom Posted October 3, 2019 Author Share Posted October 3, 2019 49 minutes ago, wintermom said: It assumes that the OP's family is the only one who counts - the Canadian grandparents are no reason to keep him in Canada. And way down there with this young man's bad family is a military that is just a stint and couldn't possibly be worthy of much. It's only Canada, and who cares about that. We need to get this couple out of that dump and back to the US as quickly as possible. Wow. I stated awhile back in the thread--his grandparents are in Lithuania. His father is in France and has no contact. Did you even read anything I wrote? You. Do not know me. Or my story. Or my girl. Or my relationship/esteem with/for the military. If you have a problem with me, message me privately. I have had enough of being maligned. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 (edited) 6 hours ago, stephensgirls said: I hate that I have to over think/analyze every word I type on here and ask myself "how will this be interpreted? What are they going to infer? what will they read in to this?" It's exhausting. I chose to ask here rather than Reddit. This place is about as brutal though, so maybe I'll take my chances there in the future.😪😥 I think you're fine. Most of us could read your excitement and happiness between the lines. Hope it all works out without them having to pay an arm and a leg! Keep us updated what happens Christmas. 🙂 Don't allow some responses here to deter you from posting, please! Edited October 3, 2019 by Liz CA 10 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahcsteph Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 Hi! I made a quick account for this and probably won’t check back again(edit: lol nvm this is too interesting and great info!) BUT— I’m the daughter! This has all (mostly) been great advice and good info! Reading through some of this made me laugh, though. I promise it’s not that deep. My mom’s been very supportive and I’m grateful for her interest because frankly I’m out of my depth. I’ve been friends with my SO for a long time but the relationship began and developed quickly and while dual managing college and other important extra curricular activities, I really appreciate her asking the questions I’ve avoided. (Because I know immigrating there AND back to the US for him will be a pain an I’ve stupidly been avoiding this process as long as I could until this got really serious) (edit: also everything about his past she has correct and he frankly would like to put distance between himself and HIS mother lol I won’t go into detail but she’s not the nicest or most supportive woman) To make a long story short, my SO does NOT like living in Canada and does have a desire to live in the US. And while I’m excited for an adventure, I’m not trying to live there permanently and definitely expressed this anxiety to my mom! So if my mom seems US-centric, it’s because my SO is too haha! Trust me, he would like to leave. But we are working out the logistics and frankly we could be there for a bit considering the CA military may pay for his college if he re-enlists in a few years. We’re weighing the pros and cons. But thank you guys for the useful info! I’ll try to get together with my mom 😉 soon and talk things out. It seems to me that I need to talk to an immigration attorney! Luckily my SO also knows an immigration attorney and was planning on speaking to him soon. Thanks y’all. Wish me luck. EDIT2: also of anyone can teach me about hockey that would be great 😂😅 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahcsteph Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 2 hours ago, wintermom said: It assumes that the OP's family is the only one who counts - the Canadian grandparents are no reason to keep him in Canada. And way down there with this young man's bad family is a military that is just a stint and couldn't possibly be worthy of much. It's only Canada, and who cares about that. We need to get this couple out of that dump and back to the US as quickly as possible. Daughter here— my SO strongly dislikes Canada. The only thing keeping him there is indeed his military service, of which he and I value. He may enlist again for free college, but I can promise the goal is to get back to the US. I’m excited for an adventure and very open-minded, but you fail to consider that my loving Canadian SO actually doesn’t like Canada much at all haha— I would dare to say there’s a lot he even hates about it, sparing only the poutine, hockey, and healthcare! (I’m hyped to see some real snow but I’m sure I’ll be sick of it after a week) side note: his grandparents are still in Lithuania! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 More details on how I ended up eligible for US residence. I'm British and DH is American. We met overseas and got engaged, and then looked into moving to the US. Long story short, the company I was working for failed to arrange the work visa for me to work in the US and I ended up there on a visa waiver, with no job and no right to work, and not yet married. I was told that I had two options: the 'correct' one (go to the UK, apply for a fiance visa, wait for a year, enter the US and then marry); the 'incorrect' one (i.e. frowned upon by the US immigration authorities) which was to marry straight away in the US and then turn up at 5am at the San Jose immigration office on Monday morning with certificates, etc. Reader, I married him. Two weeks notice. It was lovely. We were called in for interview, took the required items (photos of our four-year relationship, etc.). We were given a very easy time. We could hear the tone of voice of the questioning in the next booth, and it was not at all easy. The official told me, 'We're not worried about you, because you have a good passport already'. I was given a temporary Green Card and the right to apply for a permanent one (that's another story). Be very, very careful about getting good current advice - how we proceeded worked at that point (decades ago) but I don't know the situation now. The immigration service was massively overloaded and inefficient, so there were delays and mistakes (they lost my file once, and also claimed that I had missed an interview to which I was never invited). Good luck! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate in Arabia Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 (edited) 5 hours ago, Laura Corin said: More details on how I ended up eligible for US residence. I'm British and DH is American. We met overseas and got engaged, and then looked into moving to the US. Long story short, the company I was working for failed to arrange the work visa for me to work in the US and I ended up there on a visa waiver, with no job and no right to work, and not yet married. I was told that I had two options: the 'correct' one (go to the UK, apply for a fiance visa, wait for a year, enter the US and then marry); the 'incorrect' one (i.e. frowned upon by the US immigration authorities) which was to marry straight away in the US and then turn up at 5am at the San Jose immigration office on Monday morning with certificates, etc. Reader, I married him. Two weeks notice. It was lovely. We were called in for interview, took the required items (photos of our four-year relationship, etc.). We were given a very easy time. We could hear the tone of voice of the questioning in the next booth, and it was not at all easy. The official told me, 'We're not worried about you, because you have a good passport already'. I was given a temporary Green Card and the right to apply for a permanent one (that's another story). Be very, very careful about getting good current advice - how we proceeded worked at that point (decades ago) but I don't know the situation now. The immigration service was massively overloaded and inefficient, so there were delays and mistakes (they lost my file once, and also claimed that I had missed an interview to which I was never invited). Good luck! Agreeing with much of what Laura has said here. My experience was straightforward. I met dh at univ overseas, but we got married in the US. He had come on a student visa. He did not have a "good passport" 😉 but even so our experience was straightforward, just time consuming. I don't remember it being ridiculously expensive, we did not hire a lawyer. He was granted a green card pretty easily, the nationality took longer; the whole process was a few years. He had the additional complication that his home country does not allow dual nationality, so he had to actually renounce that "officially". We did have the separate questioning, the immigration folks were serious but polite, and we were on top of having all the paperwork and supporting documentation (letters, cards, pictures, joint bank statements, utility bills, etc. etc.). My takeaway, slow and steady wins the race.. ..and I will reiterate Laura's comment about being current on procedures, in our case it was 25 years ago.. Also, just mentioning, I have had what seems like a lifetime of people questioning our motives, his motives (just married an American to get the nationality, hates his heritage, etc. etc.), mine (couldn't get an American so looked elsewhere, I've "stolen" one of their men, etc. etc.), you would not believe (or maybe you would) the ugliness that people pile on others. Hopefully your dd (and you) won't have to go through much of that. Edited October 3, 2019 by Kate in Arabia 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 It took my DH 3 years to get a residency visa to come and live in Australia. that was before I met him. I understand that shifting to Australia is very different than your situation. I know an Australia who married a Canadian and wanted to shift to Canada. It took them about 7 to 8 years for him to get Canadian residency . He had to keep returning to Australia and re-applying for a working visiting visa even though he was married and had children 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 5 hours ago, sarahcsteph said: Daughter here— my SO strongly dislikes Canada. The only thing keeping him there is indeed his military service, of which he and I value. He may enlist again for free college, but I can promise the goal is to get back to the US. I’m excited for an adventure and very open-minded, but you fail to consider that my loving Canadian SO actually doesn’t like Canada much at all haha— I would dare to say there’s a lot he even hates about it, sparing only the poutine, hockey, and healthcare! (I’m hyped to see some real snow but I’m sure I’ll be sick of it after a week) side note: his grandparents are still in Lithuania! That was really cool of you coming onto this thread. With the things I've been hearing in the news lately, your best bet would probably be to seek advice from an immigration lawyer who knows both countries very well. Some policies seem to be changing. All the best! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 7 hours ago, stephensgirls said: Wow. I stated awhile back in the thread--his grandparents are in Lithuania. His father is in France and has no contact. Did you even read anything I wrote? You. Do not know me. Or my story. Or my girl. Or my relationship/esteem with/for the military. If you have a problem with me, message me privately. I have had enough of being maligned. I have seen numerous threads on this forum of people asking about immigration policies. Your thread was certainly the most dramatic and panicked (it seemed) I'd ever read. It was far from a neutral asking for information. That is all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mbelle Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 @stephensgirls I read your post as a mom who is excieted for her dd future and one that is wanting to continue to share life in person instead of long distance. I have been married to a man from another country over 20 years ago and I do love the country he is from very much. However, one thing to keep in mind is that as an american married to a person from another country you will alway have to be on guard from this kind of backlash. You will have to learn to be very diplomatic in the language you use and even then you will get comments and so will your children even if they are dualy's. People can be very defensive and have innate prejudices towards americans and it can get tiresome. It can cause anxiety when meeting new poeple if we don't keep it in check and let it go. You will figue those people out very quickly and move on and find lovely awesome people whereever you are, but some people will always react like this. You will just need to find the ones that see your family as people and not a nationality. The reverse for dh is that people love where he is from and although he sometimes gets tired of hearing how everyone has always wanted to go there or how much they like it, it is a much easier to hear. We both kind of wish people would just see us people first and later on we can talk about where we are from if it is is pertinent to the situation or conversation. We (whole family) never ever ask people where they are from until we have established a relationship. My advice: It sounds like your dd boyfriend is not enjoying where he is living, but I would not tie that to not liking Canada. This is a seperate situation, that just so happens to exist in Canada. Step away from those comments and especially in public. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 5 hours ago, Kate in Arabia said: Agreeing with much of what Laura has said here. My experience was straightforward. I met dh at univ overseas, but we got married in the US. He had come on a student visa. He did not have a "good passport" 😉 but even so our experience was straightforward, just time consuming. I don't remember it being ridiculously expensive, we did not hire a lawyer. He was granted a green card pretty easily, the nationality took longer; the whole process was a few years. He had the additional complication that his home country does not allow dual nationality, so he had to actually renounce that "officially". We did have the separate questioning, the immigration folks were serious but polite, and we were on top of having all the paperwork and supporting documentation (letters, cards, pictures, joint bank statements, utility bills, etc. etc.). My takeaway, slow and steady wins the race.. ..and I will reiterate Laura's comment about being current on procedures, in our case it was 25 years ago.. Also, just mentioning, I have had what seems like a lifetime of people questioning our motives, his motives (just married an American to get the nationality, hates his heritage, etc. etc.), mine (couldn't get an American so looked elsewhere, I've "stolen" one of their men, etc. etc.), you would not believe (or maybe you would) the ugliness that people pile on others. Hopefully your dd (and you) won't have to go through much of that. I liked your post above, but had to reply to the bolded....that is so ridiculous. I am sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 1 hour ago, wintermom said: I have seen numerous threads on this forum of people asking about immigration policies. Your thread was certainly the most dramatic and panicked (it seemed) I'd ever read. It was far from a neutral asking for information. That is all. Some people are just more dramatic than others. I try to just answer the questions people ask instead of getting on to them for the way they asked it. But then again I understand sounding or being dramatic. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 14 minutes ago, Scarlett said: Some people are just more dramatic than others. I try to just answer the questions people ask instead of getting on to them for the way they asked it. But then again I understand sounding or being dramatic. So you are saying that the reader of the post always needs to interpret the message in a neutral/positive light. The responsibility does not rest of the writer of the post. Got it. I wonder how you read and respond to some of your president's posts. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 5 minutes ago, wintermom said: I wonder how you read and respond to some of your president's posts. Seriously? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 Just now, Valley Girl said: Seriously? He does love the dramatic. Doesn't he? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 16 hours ago, Scarlett said: I will never understand how we take a simple request from a poster and have to turn it into some quarrel. Why do you ask? Did you daughter request your help? How do you know they want to live in the states? Just let them decide. Good grief why can’t we just ask a question and not have the worst assumed of us. People bring a lot of personal baggage to these threads. I suspect it's really hard to separate that from what's being asked. And people, I think, feel genuine concern based on their own experience with the topic. But I agree. I often refrain from posting about things I can really use help with because I just don't want to go through being misunderstood because of somebody's else's unrelated experience. 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 1 minute ago, wintermom said: He does love the dramatic. Doesn't he? I'm sure that rabbit trail will find plenty of takers in the politics club. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 Just now, Valley Girl said: I'm sure that rabbit trail will find plenty of takers in the politics club. It doesn't have to be political. Some people get dramatic for attention. Doesn't mean they are political. It was simply an example. My own political leader seems to dress up and get into photos for attention. It's his schtick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 19 minutes ago, wintermom said: So you are saying that the reader of the post always needs to interpret the message in a neutral/positive light. The responsibility does not rest of the writer of the post. Got it. I wonder how you read and respond to some of your president's posts. I am saying just give people a break. Don't assume facts not in evidence. She asked a question. Some people were kind enough to answer the question without assuming something that it turns out was not true. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 2 minutes ago, Scarlett said: I am saying just give people a break. Don't assume facts not in evidence. She asked a question. Some people were kind enough to answer the question without assuming something that it turns out was not true. Seeing that the OP has since changed her post to something a great deal different, I guess there were some "facts in evidence." A lot of things changed in her subsequent posts when she was confronted. I was not the only one who interpreted the post in a negative light. I reserve the right to post a message pointing out a lack of sensitivity. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 1 minute ago, wintermom said: Seeing that the OP has since changed her post to something a great deal different, I guess there were some "facts in evidence." A lot of things changed in her subsequent posts when she was confronted. I was not the only one who interpreted the post in a negative light. I reserve the right to post a message pointing out a lack of sensitivity. Well, sure you can post anything you like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 I recommend that he gets an immigration attorney before they get engaged. With our neighbors, the location of their wedding came into play somehow (UK citizen moving to US). It was somehow beneficial for them to get married here in the US, even though he had to go back to the UK after the wedding. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahcsteph Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 15 minutes ago, TechWife said: I recommend that he gets an immigration attorney before they get engaged. With our neighbors, the location of their wedding came into play somehow (UK citizen moving to US). It was somehow beneficial for them to get married here in the US, even though he had to go back to the UK after the wedding. Thanks! Yeah, I need to start doing some more research on this evidently. Luckily I live in a college town with a lot of diverse students from other countries so I’m hoping there’s a few immigration attorneys here haha it seems like a work visa may be my best bet for a shorter term situation. I was originally thinking permanent residency but now I’m thinking jumping through those hoops may be unnecessary. 1 hour ago, wintermom said: Seeing that the OP has since changed her post to something a great deal different, I guess there were some "facts in evidence." A lot of things changed in her subsequent posts when she was confronted. I was not the only one who interpreted the post in a negative light. I reserve the right to post a message pointing out a lack of sensitivity. Yeah, we get it. I appreciate you pointing it out but it’s done now. We’ve both clarified. It’s okay to lay this to rest. If you have any advice, I’d appreciate it! But if you’re only on here to keep trying to prove your point, it seems a bit redundant. 2 hours ago, Mbelle said: @stephensgirls I read your post as a mom who is excieted for her dd future and one that is wanting to continue to share life in person instead of long distance. I have been married to a man from another country over 20 years ago and I do love the country he is from very much. However, one thing to keep in mind is that as an american married to a person from another country you will alway have to be on guard from this kind of backlash. You will have to learn to be very diplomatic in the language you use and even then you will get comments and so will your children even if they are dualy's. People can be very defensive and have innate prejudices towards americans and it can get tiresome. It can cause anxiety when meeting new poeple if we don't keep it in check and let it go. You will figue those people out very quickly and move on and find lovely awesome people whereever you are, but some people will always react like this. You will just need to find the ones that see your family as people and not a nationality. The reverse for dh is that people love where he is from and although he sometimes gets tired of hearing how everyone has always wanted to go there or how much they like it, it is a much easier to hear. We both kind of wish people would just see us people first and later on we can talk about where we are from if it is is pertinent to the situation or conversation. We (whole family) never ever ask people where they are from until we have established a relationship. My advice: It sounds like your dd boyfriend is not enjoying where he is living, but I would not tie that to not liking Canada. This is a seperate situation, that just so happens to exist in Canada. Step away from those comments and especially in public. THANK YOU! This is good info. I’m entirely not looking forward to it, as I already know some (not all!) Canadians aren’t fans of Americans. Sometimes rightfully so. I think I’ll be fine with his mil friends, but I do expect a bit of weirdness from childhood/hometown friends. I once dated a guy from New York and— being from the south— his parents automatically assumed I was a gun-slinging hick with zero culture and even asked if I knew what certain common fast food places were. I can only imagine there will be similar instances a little farther north 😂 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahcsteph Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 8 hours ago, Laura Corin said: More details on how I ended up eligible for US residence. I'm British and DH is American. We met overseas and got engaged, and then looked into moving to the US. Long story short, the company I was working for failed to arrange the work visa for me to work in the US and I ended up there on a visa waiver, with no job and no right to work, and not yet married. I was told that I had two options: the 'correct' one (go to the UK, apply for a fiance visa, wait for a year, enter the US and then marry); the 'incorrect' one (i.e. frowned upon by the US immigration authorities) which was to marry straight away in the US and then turn up at 5am at the San Jose immigration office on Monday morning with certificates, etc. Reader, I married him. Two weeks notice. It was lovely. We were called in for interview, took the required items (photos of our four-year relationship, etc.). We were given a very easy time. We could hear the tone of voice of the questioning in the next booth, and it was not at all easy. The official told me, 'We're not worried about you, because you have a good passport already'. I was given a temporary Green Card and the right to apply for a permanent one (that's another story). Be very, very careful about getting good current advice - how we proceeded worked at that point (decades ago) but I don't know the situation now. The immigration service was massively overloaded and inefficient, so there were delays and mistakes (they lost my file once, and also claimed that I had missed an interview to which I was never invited). Good luck! Oh my gosh. We’ve already joked about eloping but it truly may be the best option. Thanks for this! Hopefully my experience will be that easy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 8 minutes ago, sarahcsteph said: Yeah, we get it. I appreciate you pointing it out but it’s done now. We’ve both clarified. It’s okay to lay this to rest. If you have any advice, I’d appreciate it! But if you’re only on here to keep trying to prove your point, it seems a bit redundant. THANK YOU! This is good info. I’m entirely not looking forward to it, as I already know some (not all!) Canadians aren’t fans of Americans. Sometimes rightfully so. I think I’ll be fine with his mil friends, but I do expect a bit of weirdness from childhood/hometown friends. I once dated a guy from New York and— being from the south— his parents automatically assumed I was a gun-slinging hick with zero culture and even asked if I knew what certain common fast food places were. I can only imagine there will be similar instances a little farther north 😂 Just for the record, I'm a Canadian married to an American, living in Canada. I'm not anti-American at all. My advice would be for the Canadian bf to always have separate bank accounts to your dd for tax purposes, especially registered savings and retirement accounts. The US revenue is going after Americans living outside the US. They want the $ from these accounts that are perfectly legal in their countries. The US does not recognize or respect these accounts. If your dd ever sets up one of these accounts in Canada, or has a joint account with a Canadian, this money may be taxed by the US. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 1 hour ago, wintermom said: Just for the record, I'm a Canadian married to an American, living in Canada. I'm not anti-American at all. My advice would be for the Canadian bf to always have separate bank accounts to your dd for tax purposes, especially registered savings and retirement accounts. The US revenue is going after Americans living outside the US. They want the $ from these accounts that are perfectly legal in their countries. The US does not recognize or respect these accounts. If your dd ever sets up one of these accounts in Canada, or has a joint account with a Canadian, this money may be taxed by the US. Yes. There are UK tax efficient pension savings schemes that are taxed punitively if you have to declare taxes in the US. I no longer have a Green Card, and I never took US citizenship, so I'm fine. Husband, who has dual nationality, cannot use them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 Heh, I did read the post title in a Maury Povich voice. Up next: my daughter's in love with a CANADIAN!! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 1 minute ago, katilac said: Heh, I did read the post title in a Maury Povich voice. Up next: my daughter's in love with a CANADIAN!! I don't know that particular voice. Is it a happy excited voice, or a freaked out panicked voice? Or something else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 5 minutes ago, wintermom said: I don't know that particular voice. Is it a happy excited voice, or a freaked out panicked voice? Or something else? It's a My sister slept with my husband!! voice, lol. Tabloid television. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahcsteph Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 2 hours ago, katilac said: Heh, I did read the post title in a Maury Povich voice. Up next: my daughter's in love with a CANADIAN!! Haha you know what? I was prepared for her to freak out more when I told her. She took it surprisingly well! I was definitely expecting the whole thing to be a little like that. But I will tell you that when my grandmother figures it out, that will be her EXACT tone and reaction 😂😂😂 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 1 hour ago, sarahcsteph said: Haha you know what? I was prepared for her to freak out more when I told her. She took it surprisingly well! I was definitely expecting the whole thing to be a little like that. But I will tell you that when my grandmother figured it out, that will be her EXACT tone and reaction 😂😂😂 Does you family know about the totally free health care you will be receiving in Canada as military? The universal health care, inexpensive college, etc. Be 100% clear to your future husband about what you have to pay for all these things in the US. He may not be completely aware. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahcsteph Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 20 minutes ago, wintermom said: Does you family know about the totally free health care you will be receiving in Canada as military? The universal health care, inexpensive college, etc. Be 100% clear to your future husband about what you have to pay for all these things in the US. He may not be completely aware. Let me be clear— my grandmother will freak because of the distance (36 hours), not because it’s Canada. She didn’t like it when my family moved to Texas(14 hrs away) 10+ years ago. I’m not letting it dictate my decision and frankly I’ll probably just find it funny. She’ll accept it, I just know she won’t be happy at first. It’s a reasonable reaction since we’ve all lived within 3hrs of each other, if not in the same city, most of our lives. Also, yeah, they know about their healthcare but it’s not really the point. He's completely aware of the costs, which is why we are considering staying a few extra years so the military will pay for his college. He lived in the US for a bit when he was younger. He’s lived in several places in Canada, he just doesn’t like the way their government works or their politics. But I’d really rather not get into it. We’re just trying to focus on me getting in there and him leaving later. The end goal— that we’ve both agreed on— is to try to start the process to get back to the US in no more than ten years. Like I said, he doesn’t like it there and really wants to immigrate to the US eventually. We’d both like to be closer to an immediate family (mine) that is supportive of each other. I don’t feel comfortable raising kids without family within a days drive. So this isn’t about which country is “better”, it’s just about support and family! We’ve all agreed Canada, while I’m sure it will be a fun adventure and interesting time in my life, will be somewhat temporary! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madteaparty Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 8 minutes ago, sarahcsteph said: Let me be clear— my grandmother will freak because of the distance (36 hours), not because it’s Canada. She didn’t like it when my family moved to Texas(14 hrs away) 10+ years ago. I’m not letting it dictate my decision and frankly I’ll probably just find it funny. She’ll accept it, I just know she won’t be happy at first. It’s a reasonable reaction since we’ve all lived within 3hrs of each other, if not in the same city, most of our lives. Also, yeah, they know about their healthcare but it’s not really the point. He's completely aware of the costs, which is why we are considering staying a few extra years so the military will pay for his college. He lived in the US for a bit when he was younger. He’s lived in several places in Canada, he just doesn’t like the way their government works or their politics. But I’d really rather not get into it. We’re just trying to focus on me getting in there and him leaving later. The end goal— that we’ve both agreed on— is to try to start the process to get back to the US in no more than ten years. Like I said, he doesn’t like it there and really wants to immigrate to the US eventually. We’d both like to be closer to an immediate family (mine) that is supportive of each other. I don’t feel comfortable raising kids without family within a days drive. So this isn’t about which country is “better”, it’s just about support and family! We’ve all agreed Canada, while I’m sure it will be a fun adventure and interesting time in my life, will be somewhat temporary! Sounds like you need “legally moving to Canada” advice before the “legally moving to the US” one 🙂 10 years a long time, best of luck to you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahcsteph Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 1 minute ago, madteaparty said: Sounds like you need “legally moving to Canada” advice before the “legally moving to the US” one 🙂 10 years a long time, best of luck to you! True! That one comes first! The SO should be talking to a lawyer soon. But advice for both is welcome! Because, frankly, I think moving there will be easier than moving back 😭😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madteaparty Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 (edited) 5 minutes ago, sarahcsteph said: True! That one comes first! The SO should be talking to a lawyer soon. But advice for both is welcome! Because, frankly, I think moving there will be easier than moving back 😭😂 I don’t know that it’s easier. I’ve never immigrated to Canada, but they have a fairly complicated points system I hear. Because otherwise everyone would move there for the healthcare. I’m in Europe now and after my husband’s run-in with the health care system here I’m ready to get in line for that style healthcare myself 😉 Edited October 3, 2019 by madteaparty 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 18 hours ago, wintermom said: It assumes that the OP's family is the only one who counts - the Canadian grandparents are no reason to keep him in Canada. And way down there with this young man's bad family is a military that is just a stint and couldn't possibly be worthy of much. It's only Canada, and who cares about that. We need to get this couple out of that dump and back to the US as quickly as possible. That wasn’t the impression I got from the OP’s posts at all. I think you are seeing prejudices that simply don’t exist. I didn’t read any kind of anti-Canadian sentiment in any of the posts in this thread. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 10 hours ago, wintermom said: I have seen numerous threads on this forum of people asking about immigration policies. Your thread was certainly the most dramatic and panicked (it seemed) I'd ever read. It was far from a neutral asking for information. That is all. It’s so funny how we can interpret the same sentence in opposite ways — I read it as though she was super happy and excited about it! 🙂 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 (edited) nm Edited October 3, 2019 by wintermom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 7 minutes ago, wintermom said: nm I hope you didn’t think I was trying to be argumentative — I was just hoping that maybe I could help you feel less offended by the OP because I truly believe that no offense was intended. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 20 hours ago, wintermom said: Let's try reading this exact same message inverting the countries of these two individuals: My dd is in love with an American. Not just American. American military. He has 3 years left. They are seriously considering marriage. How the hell do I get him in to the Canada??? Lol I don’t have any problem with my dd moving there—short term—but his family is not supportive of him at all. Not financially, not emotionally. He was the only child of a young couple who divorced and then both remarried and had families. He was raised by his grandparents. There’s really nothing keeping him there except his commitment to the military. Once he finishes his stint in the military, how difficult would it be for him to come to the Canada to study? Or live permanently? Ya, this is much better. Way less offensive. I don't see either this or the original post as offensive. 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 24 minutes ago, Meriwether said: I don't see either this or the original post as offensive. I can’t figure it out either, but wintermom is always very nice and very sensible so I can’t help but think we must be missing something somewhere. I’m trying to understand, but I’m just not getting it. Don’t get me wrong — I don’t think stephensgirls meant any offense at all; I’m just trying to figure out how her post could have been interpreted as having been anti-Canada or anti-Canadian. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 9 hours ago, sarahcsteph said: Thanks! Yeah, I need to start doing some more research on this evidently. Luckily I live in a college town with a lot of diverse students from other countries so I’m hoping there’s a few immigration attorneys here haha it seems like a work visa may be my best bet for a shorter term situation. I was originally thinking permanent residency but now I’m thinking jumping through those hoops may be unnecessary. One thing to remember when you make decisions about citizenship is your children will be duel (maybe more because of Lithuania) at birth. You may want to have as many of the same citizenships as your children as possible just because it makes life easier if they need you with them at any point in their adult life. One of my friend’s mothers was not allowed in the US (needed Visa and was too soon) and could not to help care for her grandchildren in a pretty extreme medical crisis......appeals don’t always work but citizenship does.😉 I know at your age that sounds like it’s very far off but if you know you will be there long enough to complete the citizenship process, spend the money and fill out the paperwork.......I did. Glad it’s done. I love both my countries and no longer have to worry about leaving the U.K. for too long. Life is easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 2 hours ago, Catwoman said: I can’t figure it out either, but wintermom is always very nice and very sensible so I can’t help but think we must be missing something somewhere. I’m trying to understand, but I’m just not getting it The first post did come across as a slight against foreign countries. Kind of like whichever country OP’s future SIL is in is so bad that OP has to figure out how to get him US citizenship. As to the original question, my lady friends from Asia came on spousal visa and where able to get a green card within a year. One use an attorney and one didn’t. Both had years of working experience, and healthy bank accounts and were in their late twenties. A friend recently brought his spouse over from China. He married there and then applied for her to come over. He and his spouse are in their forties, he has a house here and a six figure income working in tech. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, mumto2 said: One thing to remember when you make decisions about citizenship is your children will be duel (maybe more because of Lithuania) at birth. You may want to have as many of the same citizenships as your children as possible just because it makes life easier if they need you with them at any point in their adult life. One of my friend’s mothers was not allowed in the US (needed Visa and was too soon) and could not to help care for her grandchildren in a pretty extreme medical crisis......appeals don’t always work but citizenship does.😉 I know at your age that sounds like it’s very far off but if you know you will be there long enough to complete the citizenship process, spend the money and fill out the paperwork.......I did. Glad it’s done. I love both my countries and no longer have to worry about leaving the U.K. for too long. Life is easier. I think it might depend if you have residency of the country. My DH is Canadian and now also has AUS citizenship ( duel citizen). He also has Australian residency . As he hasn't lived in Canada for 30 years he no longer has Canadian residency. When he went to Canada earlier this year when his mother had a medical crisis and had to be shifted into a nursing home DH had to get a visa to enter, even though he has Citizenship. It was a very fast easy to get visa but still he needed one. Also as he is no longer a Canadian resident, he has to get travelers health insurance as he is no longer covered under Canadian medical Edited October 4, 2019 by Melissa in Australia because I wrote it all so confusingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 1 hour ago, Arcadia said: The first post did come across as a slight against foreign countries. Kind of like whichever country OP’s future SIL is in is so bad that OP has to figure out how to get him US citizenship. that is how I read it as well... though on this board I often have trouble with the American way of wording things ( dialect) and so I just thought I was misreading her intentions 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arctic Bunny Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 9 hours ago, wintermom said: Does you family know about the totally free health care you will be receiving in Canada as military? The universal health care, inexpensive college, etc. Be 100% clear to your future husband about what you have to pay for all these things in the US. He may not be completely aware. An awful lot of our tax dollars go toward that “totally free healthcare” and “inexpensive” post secondary education. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 2 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said: I think it might depend if you have residency of the country. My DH is Canadian and now also has AUS citizenship ( duel citizen). He also has Australian residency . As he hasn't lived in Canada for 30 years he no longer has Canadian residency. When he went to Canada earlier this year when his mother had a medical crisis and had to be shifted into a nursing home DH had to get a visa to enter, even though he has Citizenship. It was a very fast easy to get visa but still he needed one. Also as he is no longer a Canadian resident, he has to get travelers health insurance as he is no longer covered under Canadian medical He is a Canadian citizen and still needed a visa to enter his own country? How weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 Just now, Liz CA said: He is a Canadian citizen and still needed a visa to enter his own country? How weird. he thought so as well 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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