Bad well-visit for dd....

[Tiramisu]

Dd 6 is afraid of going to the doctor. She doesn't like her "private parts to be looked at by a stranger," she says. Today we had an appointment with a different doctor in the practice. She wouldn't take off her clothes so it started off badly. Fortunately, the dr. was willing to go with the flow. He was able to cheer her up a bit...and then...with her on my lap, he pulled down her pants and gave her a very THOROUGH exam of her private parts. I was surprised by it, and she was totally humiliated. She didn't hesitate to show how upset she was. It was obvious she was unhappy. She is usually a happy child though intense. The dr. interpreted her behavior as being related to homeschooling and being somehow unsocialized. She feels violated--understandably so, IMO--and has been having meltdowns today. I'm unhappy about her behavior, and also distressed at what the dr. did and his interpretation of her behavior as being related to homeschooling. I don't know if I'll ever get her into a dr. again...much less get through today...

 

We are a Catholic family and we are modest about dress, but matter-of-fact about body parts. Dd usually thinks or rear-ends as a funny topic so I have no explanation as to why she's so sensitive about medical check-ups. This time, however, I think her feelings, afterwards at least, are reasonable given how she was examined.

 

Would anyone like to offer some support as I struggle through the aftermath of this well-check? :crying:

[RoughCollie]

I'd call the doctor who heads the medical practice and talk to him. My kids get excellent medical care and never once did DD have "a very THOROUGH exam of her private parts".

 

I'm not surprised your DD is traumatized.

[Dawn in OH]

 

The dr. interpreted her behavior as being related to homeschooling and being somehow unsocialized.

What crap. I hate when people make assumptions like that. Six years old is old enough to be uncomfortable about nakedness and strangers. She had a THOROUGH (this part still shocks me) exam of her private parts, by a MALE doctor, whom she has never met....well I'm 36, delivered 3 babies, and I would be uncomfortable about that too. I wasn't homeschooled. That doctor is an ignorant jerk.

[Zelda]

My pediatrician has never examined that closely during a well visit. He checks to see that the girls are still prepubertal but a quick glance has been the extent of it. He also tells me what he's doing when he does that.

 

I think you doctor has a preset notion about homeschooling and would blame any quirk (not that being shy about private parts is quirky, I don't think it is, I don't love my yearly) that he would find otherwise typical on homeschooling. Sorry that happened to both of you.

[Murphy101]

I have to say I'd never go back and I'm just as horrified as your little girl!

 

Why the heck do they need to see a 6 yr old naked, much less her private parts examined like that at a well-check?!

 

I'd have said something then and there and been livid.

 

And if being public schooled and supposedly properly socialized means my 6 yr old is comfortable being naked and poked and proded, then I'm danged happy all my kids appear to be unsocialized and homeschooled. What a stupid thing for a supposedly educated man to say.

 

end of rant.

[TeacherZee]

I'd call the doctor who heads the medical practice and talk to him. My kids get excellent medical care and never once did DD have "a very THOROUGH exam of her private parts".

 

I'm not surprised your DD is traumatized.

 

:iagree: Wholehartedly!!!!!

 

Under no circumstances does a 6 year old need to have any examination of her private parts at a well child visit!!!! I would actually march straight to the police. I am so angry on behalf of your daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:cursing::cursing::cursing:

[Danestress]

I would be soooo annoyed by those comments.

 

I never take children for well checks, and I never ever had a doctor examine my genetalia as a child. Unless he had a darn good reason, I wouldn't have allowed it, and I would be writing a letter to let him know that his comments were unwelcome and obtrusive.

 

Beside, she's SIX. In many cultures, six year olds aren't in school yet. How much could she possibly be missing at six?

[emeraldjoy]

We don't do a ton of regular "well childs", but with my older kids I was pretty regular when they were younger. I have never experienced or even heard of what happened to your daughter as being routine. Even now I am wondering what would be neccesary about so thoroghly examining her? I would probably question it a bit further and assure my child that I would never allow him/her to go through something like that again.

I am so sorry for this experience.

emerald

[Part-Time Homeschooler]

My kids get excellent medical care and never once did DD have "a very THOROUGH exam of her private parts".

 

 

I agree. My dd5 has never had a "very thorough exam of her private parts" either. When she was a baby, her doctor would quickly look in her diaper. When she turned 4 our new doctor quickly looked at the area (it took all of 2 seconds, if that). This year when she turned 5 the doctor didn't look at all.

 

I'm sorry your dd had to go through that; I can understand why she's upset. I wouldn't go back to that doctor.

[Joanne]

Under no circumstances does a 6 year old need to have any examination of her private parts at a well child visit!!!! I would actually march straight to the police. I am so angry on behalf of your daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I agree.

 

Your dd was violated.

 

ETA: If he's that hostile to homeschooling, I suspect he was looking for evidence of sexual abuse. That being a possibility, I'd HURRY to report him to create a CYA paper trail on you.

[happyWImom]

I would definitely call, or better yet write a letter to the head of the clinic you go to. A man like that should not be in Pediatrics, or even if it's just Family Practice, should not be allowed to get away with that type of behavior. You don't have to be nasty, just tell the truth. Don't let him get away with it!

[dawn of ns]

This might be something you should follow up in terms of contacting the proffesional organization of pediatricians there to see what their view of this is and whether that doctor overstepped standard procedure.

[kat19]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

I have never heard of them having to get naked for a well child visit.

 

My baby is only 7 months but the doctor just undoes his diaper and takes a peek, nothing more.

I know the older 2 have never had an exam like that before.

 

Give your daughter lots of hugs and love today~sounds like she needs it.

I can't imagine.

:grouphug:

[Parrothead]

OMG! I'd be calling someone - police, lawyer, hospital where this doctor has privileges, some one. I'd also make an appointment with a female pediatrician. During the appointment I'd tell her exactly what happened.

 

I'm sorry you and your dd were traumatized like that.

[Confuzzled]

This might be something you should follow up in terms of contacting the proffesional organization of pediatricians there to see what their view of this is and whether that doctor overstepped standard procedure.

 

I agree. That is so very wrong I don't even know what to say! My 9-year-old has never had an examination of her private parts by her pediatrician. I would consider that abuse.

 

Kris

[abbeyej]

Is it possible that the reason the exam was "thorough" was because he worried there had been some particular cause for her anxiety? I mean, if her concern was generally about the doctor, that would be one thing, but if she made it very clear that her particular anxiety was about her "private parts", is there any chance he was looking for trauma? That just jumped out at me as one explanation...

 

None of our peds have ever done much more than a cursory glance to make sure there's nothing obviously wrong, and they've always been very good about saying to the kids, "This is okay because I'm a doctor and your mom is here. I'm only checking to make sure there's nothing wrong..."

[Daisy]

Totally agreeing with everyone else. The only time my DD has had her private area examed was when we were concerned about a UTI.

[HappyGrace]

Dd almost 9 and ds almost 6 have a female pediatrician. Since they've been about five years old they've never even had to undress at all for well-visits (or sick visits either, for that matter.) She lifts up their shirts to make sure everything feels okay, to check heart, etc. I think maybe once they had to be in their undershirt, but PANTS WERE ON!!! Our doctor is very thorough too, so it's not like she's rushing-well visits (for both kids together) last about a half-hour. I'm sure she would have them undress to address a specific area that needed to be looked at naked, but we haven't needed that so far.

 

I would seriously look into this more. Maybe in that practice they do like to check "down there" but I wouldn't think at that age it would need to be for more than a quick look. What on earth do they need to look at at that age?! If it were me, I would be looking into what their policy is on this, and if it was something out of the ordinary-REPORT IT! Meanwhile, I would be changing doctors immediately no matter what.

 

Don't even get me started on the homeschooling comment!!!!!! :angry: :mad:

[TeacherZee]

Is it possible that the reason the exam was "thorough" was because he worried there had been some particular cause for her anxiety? I mean, if her concern was generally about the doctor, that would be one thing, but if she made it very clear that her particular anxiety was about her "private parts", is there any chance he was looking for trauma? That just jumped out at me as one explanation...

 

I thought about this, but if this was the case I think the doctor needed to be even more careful. Explain to the child that he needed to look and explain to mom why. I think that just looking is a violation of the largest proportions.

[WagsWife]

I would totally call the head doctor and find out why they would need to do that. I have three girls and the only time a doctor has examined that area was when they were very young babies. I am not surprised that your daughter is upset, and I would be livid that he did it without yours or her permission. He should have explained what he wanted to do, and asked if it was ok!

[WTMindy]

Is it possible that the reason the exam was "thorough" was because he worried there had been some particular cause for her anxiety? I mean, if her concern was generally about the doctor, that would be one thing, but if she made it very clear that her particular anxiety was about her "private parts", is there any chance he was looking for trauma? That just jumped out at me as one explanation...

 

None of our peds have ever done much more than a cursory glance to make sure there's nothing obviously wrong, and they've always been very good about saying to the kids, "This is okay because I'm a doctor and your mom is here. I'm only checking to make sure there's nothing wrong..."

 

That was my thought too, Abbey. And, that has always been how my Dr has handled it too. I was wondering if your dd's reaction raised some red flags for the doctor and he was just trying to do the right thing.

[Hillary in KS]

OK, I have no daughters, but I remember me. I NEVER had a "thorough" check until my first physical exam in high school.

 

I don't think this is a "run to the police" moment. I do think you should contact the head of the practice, as well as switch doctors. I think that maybe, as someone suggested, something about her anxiety or your homeschooling indicated that a closer than normal look was warranted. (i.e., had something happened to her in this area previously, and that was why she was getting so upset?)

[snickelfritz]

Our pediatrician does always check that area. They don't take their undies all the way off. She just slides them down and does a quick check for adhesions (Apparently that area can grow together????) It is literally like 5 seconds and the undies are back in place.

[HappyGrace]

Your poor dd. I prayed for her and you. If you feel it would help, maybe you could sit her down and explain that you're sorry that happened, validate her feelings as being right and normal; and that the usual thing with a doctor would be to ask permission and explain what they're doing, now we're going to find a doctor that will be more respectful of you, etc. Maybe she'd feel better with a female pediatrician for awhile? You can sometimes check with your local homeschool yahoo groups to find homeschool-friendly pediatricians.

 

And don't beat yourself up about it-I probably would have allowed it too since I'm sometimes not thinking that quick, plus when it's "authority figures" it may not occur to me right away.

 

Cuddle up with some hugs and hot chocolate with each other!

[Julie in CA]

It's not that I disagree with what's been posted already, but...well, I don't think I'd dwell on this in the way that others might.

 

I'd matter-of-factly tell my dd that the doctor was wrong to examine her as he did, and I'd describe exactly which parts of what he did were not ok. I'd apologize to her for taking her to a doctor that wasn't very good at his job, and I'd find her a female doctor. The first introduction should be very gentle and non-threatening.

 

I'd explain to my dd the difference between ok touching and not-ok touching, (here's where I'm gonna probably get in trouble) and tell her that there should not be *any* more drama about physical examinations that are done with you present. If she has any questions about what's appropriate touching in any circumstance, that she is should absolutely come and talk to you about it because you love her and are here to help. Other than that, I'd not discuss this to death, because that tends to build trauma into a situation, but insist that she acquiesce to reasonable physical exams that are necessary for her health (with NO fussing).

[newbie]

:iagree: Wholehartedly!!!!!

 

Under no circumstances does a 6 year old need to have any examination of her private parts at a well child visit!!!! I would actually march straight to the police. I am so angry on behalf of your daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:cursing::cursing::cursing:

 

I agree, I though they only do that w/ob gyn when older. Was a nurse even in the room. Seriously I would be suing for malpractice. Thats just me.

[Murphy101]

That was my thought too, Abbey. And, that has always been how my Dr has handled it too. I was wondering if your dd's reaction raised some red flags for the doctor and he was just trying to do the right thing.

 

#1 I get the impression that the reason she didn't want to go in the first place is because she always gets a "private" exam and THAT what the reason she was afraid. How long have these exams been going on?! Why?! Or am I wrong in my interpretation? I hope I am!

 

#2 If the dr had red flags, then he should have proceeded with more care. Adding to the child's trauma is not the right thing to do.

 

Good grief. I'd be stunned. My ped doesn't even check the newborn diaper without asking me first. I open the diaper for him and everything. For my older kids, I tell them in advance what to expect. For example, I had to take my 12 yr old in for severe hives a while back. I told him on the way that the dr might ask him to lower or even take off his pants and or shirt (he had horrible hives ALL over, but it was the worst on his torso, bum, and top of legs). I told him I'd be there, but I'd turn away if it embarrassed him. I told him the dr wouldn't be "doing" anything, but might need to see and lightly feel those areas to figure out what it was.

 

There is NO excuse for a man, even a dr, to just pull a kid's pants down and feel/prode their privates!

 

apparently my rant wasn't over after all.

[Murphy101]

I'd matter-of-factly tell my dd that the doctor was wrong to examine her as he did, and I'd describe exactly which parts of what he did were not ok. I'd apologize to her for taking her to a doctor that wasn't very good at his job, and I'd find her a female doctor. The first introduction should be very gentle and non-threatening.

 

Oh I completely agree with you. I wouldn't talk this to death either. I don't even know if I'd do the police thing or not. But the important thing is to let your dd know that when she's uncomfortable she can tell you and you will listen. Even if it's a dr. See now, for ME, if my dc was upset over some part of the exam, I'd insist on it being skipped unless there was an obvious medical need.

 

I'd explain to my dd the difference between ok touching and not-ok touching, (here's where I'm gonna probably get in trouble) and tell her that there should not be *any* more drama about physical examinations that are done with you present.

 

I agree. But mom might have to earn some trust back at a few dr appts first. Her dd told her she was uncomfortable and scared with it and from the child perspective, her mother didn't do anything about it.

 

I'd say that we are going to a different dr, a woman, and that if she calmly tells me ANYONE is making her feel bad, I'll listen and I'll help her.

 

I'd not discuss this to death, because that tends to build trauma into a situation

 

I agree!

 

However, I don't allow "fussing" or fit throwing, but I do allow them to speak up. I've had some very rough drs at times. Sometimes it's not that the exam is wrong or improper, but still.... well just not done right. And I want to know if my kid feels that way.

[camibami]

I'm not usually an over-reactor, but I agree with Joanne's hypothesis. That her being uncomfortable and specifically mentioning her private parts made the Dr suspicious and do the exam. Our well childs usually include a very quick peek at that are- just to look and make sure everything is in its right place. No touching, ever, I think.

 

I would call the practice, explain your concerns that the Dr has just exacerbated the problem, and tell them you won't be back (or maybe insist on a switch to a female doctor in the practice). Get your concern and this Drs actions documented, ASAP.

 

Then have a talk with your DD that how the Dr handled things was wrong (ie he should have asked or told her first, etc) and assure her you won't be going back to that Dr again. I would apologize for her treatment at his office, and be sure to schedule an appointment with the new (preferably female) doctor where your DD can just talk to her- no exam, just get to know her, thats it.

 

Poor kid. I hate crappy doctors. Give her a hug from me.:grouphug:

[Papillon Mom]

I had a similar experience when I was about the same age. I think my mother handled it well. She told me that we would NEVER go back to that doctor and that she had complained about him. I often heard her advise other moms not to take their kids to him, although she never revealed the personal reasons, at least, not in front of me. She was matter of fact. No drama. It was not something we spent too much time dwelling on. I remember being glad my mom warned other moms.

What a scum bag jerk!

[HRAAB]

Never, with 5 daughter, have I ever had that happen. Their 'private parts' were never examined. What the heck was he doing. 6 years old. I think he would have me in face. In fact, I might have been pulling him away from my dd.

 

I have very. strong. feelings. about this. This happened to me when I was about 7 or 8. My mom just sat in her chair and the doctor look and me and touch me. To my mom's benefit, she was brought up that doctors were almost god and you didn't question anything they did. Well, I had very major problems about going to drs. In fact, I put off my first gyn visit for as long as I could. As a young 20's something woman, I still got ill remember that visit from my childhood. I got over it, but I still look for women doctors.

 

I'm furious over what your dd went through. Her trust in the dr. was violated. Grrr....

 

Janet

[Tiramisu]

All the drs. in this practice check private parts, even the female ones. Among the female peds., some of them check thoroughly, too. Some more than others. My nieces stopped going to this practice for this reason. One niece refused to get undressed so they would not see her as a patient anymore. So my dd has been PEEKED at before by her regular doctor. This was one reason she had for being uncomfortable going in. I also did not tell this dr. that she didn't want her private parts looked at before she was examined.

 

Before reading you super-supportive responses that nearly made me cry, I thought all peds. everywhere make you undress and check your kids private parts to one degree or another. Now that I know this isn't the case, I'm going to check around in our area to see what alternatives I have.

 

Thanks again! I felt like cracking up before your posts.

[katilac]

Dd 6 is afraid of going to the doctor. She doesn't like her "private parts to be looked at by a stranger," she says. Today we had an appointment with a different doctor in the practice. She wouldn't take off her clothes so it started off badly.

Would anyone like to offer some support as I struggle through the aftermath of this well-check? :crying:

 

your dd said ahead of time she didn't like it, so I assume examining the private area is routine at this practice. she was in your lap, so obviously he wasn't attempting anything untoward. I don't agree with it, but it's not uncommon for doctors to 'take action' with no warning when they think the child is not going to cooperate (and she had already refused to undress).

 

Please don't think that I'm blaming you at all, but when she refused to take off her clothes, and you let him proceed with the visit without saying that you wanted him to skip that part of the visit, I can't blame him too much for assuming that would be okay. It was just a case of you and the doc misunderstanding each other.

 

Again, I do not think that it's a great idea for any doctor to do this. We personally choose to tell our kids the truth about these things (and then hold them down as needed, ;)).

 

Ideally, he would have asked you how you wished to proceed, or simply told her that it had to be done. But I would urge you not to make more of this than it is. Don't let your dd think that it was some horrible ordeal - - take the attitude that you're sorry it happened, you'll take steps to keep it from happening again, but the doctor was simply examing her.

 

You cannot keep her from being upset about it, but she will take her cue from you on how big of a deal this is. She wasn't abused (not that you said she was). She was treated with too little consideration on a sensitive issue, and that's unfortunate, but I would probably sympathize briefly, brainstorm ways to empower her during doctor visits, and move on.

 

If she seems unable to move on, or unduly upset after today, I would consider speaking to someone about whether that might be a red flag or not.

[Murphy101]

All the drs. in this practice check private parts, even the female ones. Among the female peds., some of them check thoroughly, too. Some more than others. My nieces stopped going to this practice for this reason. One niece refused to get undressed so they would not see her as a patient anymore. So my dd has been PEEKED at before by her regular doctor. This was one reason she had for being uncomfortable going in. I also did not tell this dr. that she didn't want her private parts looked at before she was examined.

 

Before reading you super-supportive responses that nearly made me cry, I thought all peds. everywhere make you undress and check your kids private parts to one degree or another. Now that I know this isn't the case, I'm going to check around in our area to see what alternatives I have.

 

Thanks again! I felt like cracking up before your posts.

 

wow.

just wow.

that's one twisted freak group at that practice.:blink:

[I talk to the trees]

I agree.

 

Your dd was violated.

 

ETA: If he's that hostile to homeschooling, I suspect he was looking for evidence of sexual abuse. That being a possibility, I'd HURRY to report him to create a CYA paper trail on you.

 

ITA with Joanne! I'd have a report filed on that so-called physician so fast his head would swim! Go to the office manager (if there is one), and if they aren't cooperative, go higher, and be certain to get names and positions of every person you talk to. If that particular procedure is standard in that practice, I'd march my kids to another doctor, and make certain everyone I met knew exactly why I was making the change!

 

FWIW,my dd' s pediatrician took one quick look at that area at her 3-month checkup to make sure all was normal, and she has never looked since. The Dr. asks her if she has any problems with itching or going to the bathroom, and that's it!

 

Ooh, I'm so mad for your dd, I could spit!

 

-Robin

[Blessedfamily]

A similiar check is always done here for girls and boys to check for premature puberty. I wouldn't call ours thorough, though. Just a quick look.

 

Our pediatrician asks the child first. If the child doesn't want to, they ask the parents if they have any concerns about things in that area. Fast and to the point.

 

I wouldn't want a man to coerce a child to look at her privates and would never go back. I would let them know why.

[Unicorn.]

:iagree: Wholehartedly!!!!!

 

Under no circumstances does a 6 year old need to have any examination of her private parts at a well child visit!!!! I would actually march straight to the police. I am so angry on behalf of your daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:cursing::cursing::cursing:

 

I agree. My doc doesn't check my dc's private parts. A quick glance when they were babies, but not after that!

 

I agree.

 

Your dd was violated.

 

ETA: If he's that hostile to homeschooling, I suspect he was looking for evidence of sexual abuse. That being a possibility, I'd HURRY to report him to create a CYA paper trail on you.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

I had a similar experience when I was about the same age. I think my mother handled it well. She told me that we would NEVER go back to that doctor and that she had complained about him. I often heard her advise other moms not to take their kids to him, although she never revealed the personal reasons, at least, not in front of me. She was matter of fact. No drama. It was not something we spent too much time dwelling on. I remember being glad my mom warned other moms.

What a scum bag jerk!

 

I think this is a wonderful way of letting your dd know you are on her side, she has your support, and that what happened was definitely NOT ok.

:grouphug: to you and your dd. :angry:

[HRAAB]

 

 

I agree. But mom might have to earn some trust back at a few dr appts first. Her dd told her she was uncomfortable and scared with it and from the child perspective, her mother didn't do anything about it.

 

I'd say that we are going to a different dr, a woman, and that if she calmly tells me ANYONE is making her feel bad, I'll listen and I'll help her.

 

 

I'm going to add to my other post that this is one thing that still brings back bad memories. As a 48 year old woman who's give birth to 5 children (got over my discomfort), I still feel betrayed by my mother. Yeah, I know it's to grow up, and generally I'm a pretty grown up woman. It's amazing though how some of those things that happen when we're so young stay with us through adulthood.

 

Oh, my mom and I were the very best of friends; I loved her dearly. But that memory is one that has stayed with me. It would have meant so much if she would have apologized and told me she wouldn't allow that to happen again under those circumstances. I really lost trust in my mom to defend with doctors when I was a child. Of course, I understand so much better now her attitude towards the medical profession. Still, yuck.

 

Janet

[Murphy101]

FWIW,my dd' s pediatrician took one quick look at that area at her 3-month checkup to make sure all was normal, and she has never looked since. The Dr. asks her if she has any problems with itching or going to the bathroom, and that's it!

 

yeah. that's the typical thing. check the diaper area to make sure the labia is seperated, they don't even touch anything b/c they can just spread the legs. note on chart and there's no need to repeat that visual exam.

 

when they are older asking if there's problems with itching, burning, potty training, rashes or whatever. if not, the end. never had those problems so I can only presume they'd just do a brief visual check if the answer to those questions was yes.

[Murphy101]

I'm going to add to my other post that this is one thing that still brings back bad memories. As a 48 year old woman who's give birth to 5 children (got over my discomfort), I still feel betrayed by my mother. Yeah, I know it's to grow up, and generally I'm a pretty grown up woman. It's amazing though how some of those things that happen when we're so young stay with us through adulthood.

 

Oh, my mom and I were the very best of friends; I loved her dearly. But that memory is one that has stayed with me. It would have meant so much if she would have apologized and told me she wouldn't allow that to happen again under those circumstances. I really lost trust in my mom to defend with doctors when I was a child. Of course, I understand so much better now her attitude towards the medical profession. Still, yuck.

 

Janet

 

ug. you have my sympathy. my mother had the same attitude about drs. "Well he's the dr. He knows best. I pay him to do what he needs to keep me healthy." :glare:

 

And of course, she had one of those ancient drs that thinks every problem every woman has is that she's a woman so he needed to check her privates. I went in for a migraine and sinuses at the age of 13 and all he wanted to do was a pelvic. I refused. My mother threw a fit that I was embarrassing her and being ridiculous. I still refused. Dr wouldn't see me. Mother gave me the riot act all the way home. Dad wanted to know what we were yelling at each other about. I told him. And was shocked that my dad of all people looked at my mother and demanded to know what kind of quack perv she was seeing and bring me to!:lol:

[Tammyla]

I haven't read all the responses, but I'd change doctors.

[TeacherZee]

yeah. that's the typical thing. check the diaper area to make sure the labia is seperated, they don't even touch anything b/c they can just spread the legs. note on chart and there's no need to repeat that visual exam.

 

when they are older asking if there's problems with itching, burning, potty training, rashes or whatever. if not, the end. never had those problems so I can only presume they'd just do a brief visual check if the answer to those questions was yes.

 

That is what I would expect. As babies I would expect them to ask mom if there was any diaper rash and if there is they'll take a peek. When they are older ask if there is any itching or problems when passing urine if there isn't I don't see why they would need to check. :confused:

[Carol in Cal.]

...unless she was unconscious. OTOH, a look see in that area is common for well checks in our area. DD has had 3-4 doctors in two practices that do this, but they are sensitive and not 'thorough'. Gosh.

 

That's just not right.

 

I agree with Joanne, this guy is nutsy and you need a paper trail now. Unfortunately, if you appear to be attacking him, he will probably exaggerate what happened, and that is not going to be good for your family. But I would document things carefully, and make concurrent notes.

 

You also need a new doctor.

[chanda7]

We have what I consider an excellent pediatrician and he always does a brief exam on the area in question for well-checks. Usually, it is just a "peek," but my 6yo got a more thorough "look" when blood was showing up in her urine. She had no problems with it. I don't think naked well-checks always = creepy pediatrician, but I would definitely starting looking elsewhere because of the comments that were made.

[Ria]

Paper trail pronto for sure. I'd write a letter to the head of the practice, and send a copy to the American Board of Pediatrics (or whoever you send these things to...the state licensing agency?) along with another letter explaining that you want these docs investigated.

 

I'm so sorry for you dd. I've never heard of anything like that at all. Never.

 

Ria

[Blessedfamily]

...unless she was unconscious. OTOH, a look see in that area is common for well checks in our area. DD has had 3-4 doctors in two practices that do this, but they are sensitive and not 'thorough'. Gosh.

 

That's just not right.

 

I agree with Joanne, this guy is nutsy and you need a paper trail now. Unfortunately, if you appear to be attacking him, he will probably exaggerate what happened, and that is not going to be good for your family. But I would document things carefully, and make concurrent notes.

 

You also need a new doctor.

 

It makes me angry because I don't think girls should get the idea that this type of behaviour is o.k.

 

Ours checks briefly if it's o.k. with the child too and they don't touch and the child is not naked. Different practices follow different procedures, but this doesn't sound right in any case. The American Academy of Pediatrics states a child's modesty MUST be respected.

 

I copied this from Riley Children's Hospital's guidelines for a well child exam.

 

http://www.rileyhospital.org/parents-and-patients/caring-for-kids/wellchildcare.jsp

 

Genitals

The doctor routinely checks the genitals for rashes and other signs of infection. With both girls and boys, the doctor uses the genital exam to look for signs of sexual maturation. When examining boys, the doctor checks to make sure the testes have descended into the scrotum and that there are no abnormal masses.

[PrairieAir]

Is this normal for anything other than a specific complaint? I never had a doctor examine me like that when I was a child and have never had a doctor ask to examine one of my girls' like that for a regular check up. The boys have had to do the "turn your head and cough" thing, but never that young.

 

Oldest dd had to have a pelvic exam after the surgery to set her pelvis, but only because they were concerned she might have something going on related to the injury. She'd started her period a few days after the surgery while in the hospital and didn't remember when her last period was to know that was it. (Ugh. Poor kid!)

 

Honestly the first time I had any kind of exam where I had to have my pants down or off was an ob/gyn exam when I was 18 and pregnant with my oldest. I loathe going for ob/gyn visits or having some stranger see me naked. I don't even like wearing the stupid backless gowns. I don't think that feeling is abnormal for a grown woman, much less for a little girl.

 

I'm just shocked that there would be any need for your dd to have her pants down at all for a well-child visit, and I don't blame her for being upset. I don't think I would go to a doctor that required or even requested such an exam without a specific, related complaint.

[Jennifer3141]

I don't get it. Did this practice get sued because they missed some sort of sex abuse in children or something?

 

Jen

[Harriet Vane]

This is really screwed up. I think you need to object, in writing, and I think you need to switch practices. It just doesn't make sense to do this type of examination on every single child, every time--it violates the child needlessly.

 

Our family doctor also happens to be a dear friend--he is thorough, frighteningly intelligent, and principled. Once my kids grew out of infancy he has never, ever looked in the genital area, though on our last well-child check he did ask me (not my dd, ME) some questions about her development into puberty. When the time comes that he feels any checking needs to happen down there, it will be done by a female doctor, and it will be done with a full discussion with dd so that she is prepared.

 

I think you would be well-served to talk to your daughter, validate her natural feelings, and promise her you will not let this happen again unless her private area is "sick," in which case you would be with a female doctor.

 

Poor girl.

[abbeyej]

All five of the peds we've used have done quick checks. And I'm sure if there were anything that gave them concern, they would check more closely, but a cursory glance is very normal.