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When the magic is gone from Christmas

DawnM

By DawnM,
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DawnM

DawnM

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That would be so fun.   I think ?  not sure what the crowds are like. 

 

They would be horrible.

 

Going between Thanks and Christmas is the best, when schools are in session.  All the decorations up, but not the crowds, or not as bad.

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marbel

marbel

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I think what has helped us is changing our traditions around from year to year.  So, there is not one set thing that defines that special spirit of Christmas, besides Christmas music of course :) and the fact that most people seem kinder and more willing to reach out to each other - even strangers -- during that time of year.  I love that part.  

 

We've spent some years eating Christmas dinners at airports on layovers, and a few times my dh really pushed for a very minimalist gift exchange.  Some years we're home, and other years we're not and didn't even get a tree.  Either way, it somehow always feels very special and magical.  I will say that our older girls all still get very excited and caught up in the spirit of it.  My ds, not so much.  However, he loves a beautiful concert or holiday play, so we try and attend something like that every Christmas season, and that is very special for him.

 

I feel the Christmas spirit and magic just walking around the mall though looking at Christmas decorations and drinking a peppermint mocha, so maybe I'm a little weird!

 

When my kids were little we would go to the biggest/nicest mall and do just that (without the peppermint for me :-) ).  It was fun.

 

 

 

 

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Alicia64

Alicia64

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I hear everyone a hundred times over. Now that my kids are older we count other holiday things as part of Christmas:

 

I'm reading aloud A Christmas Carol.

We watch White Christmas every year as a tradition (yeah, it's a lot, but the kids like the tradition)

Drive to see house lit w/ cookies and hot chocolate (they're 14 and still love this).

I bake a lot.

There's a few more things, but this is what comes to mind: the stuff surrounding "the big day."

 

Great thread, btw! (Oh, and I love giving chips. One kids will LOVE that.)

 

I also heard about making a playlist for each child. But I don't know how to do that technically. Does anyone know?

 

Alley

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KungFuPanda

KungFuPanda

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My kids are 17 and 20. I borrow my friend's kids. They were over for thanksgiving and 5 and 7 are just more fun. They thought my teacups were fancy and that having tea in them was special. I think I'm gonna borrow them to decorate my tree so it'll be fun again.

 

Of course with big kids you can just do a trip . . .

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Sneezyone

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Sneezyone, you've got to explain the bolded. Pleeeze?

 

Ok, so true story, when my babies were little we did a faux bronze cast of the oldest’s foot and had it attached to a trophy by a local shop. Each year, or however often we can get together, we host a dinner where everyone makes a specialty dish. It could be something you’re known for or something you’ve recently discovered.

 

Everyone in attendance gets to try the dishes and vote for their favorites (10 points pp—6 for #1, 3 for #2 and 1 for #3). At the end, the votes are tallied, the winner declared, and the cook’s name is engraved on the trophy for posterity.😂

 

We usually have lots of apps and finger foods to supplement the contestant offerings. Nothing will beat the year my younger sister won for a no-bake, berry cheesecake that never set up properly. My grandmother threw all her votes to her out of pity!! Five years later, grandma is gone but the memories remain!

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happypamama

happypamama

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So after reading Sadie’s posts on the self-care thread, I decided to put some magic into Christmas for another family. The family across the street has a 4 year old, 3 year old and 1 year old, and they are expecting in June or July, so mom is really tired. So we are taking their kids for a few nights between now and Christmas to do Christmas crafts, decorate cookies, and make presents for mom and dad. I also made the whole family Christmas pillowcases and got them my favorite Christmas book from when I was little. So while my kids are big and want wireless ear pods and a subscription to Netflix for Christmas, we are all going to have fun playing with the kids from across the street. And mom and dad will get a break for some self care. (And I will be making dinner for the kids at my house and mom and dad at their house.)

That’s really beautiful.

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happypamama

happypamama

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So after reading Sadie’s posts on the self-care thread, I decided to put some magic into Christmas for another family. The family across the street has a 4 year old, 3 year old and 1 year old, and they are expecting in June or July, so mom is really tired. So we are taking their kids for a few nights between now and Christmas to do Christmas crafts, decorate cookies, and make presents for mom and dad. I also made the whole family Christmas pillowcases and got them my favorite Christmas book from when I was little. So while my kids are big and want wireless ear pods and a subscription to Netflix for Christmas, we are all going to have fun playing with the kids from across the street. And mom and dad will get a break for some self care. (And I will be making dinner for the kids at my house and mom and dad at their house.)

That’s really beautiful.

 

Last year, when DH was recovering from major injury, I was recovering from surgery and dealing with health issues, and we had a preemie in the NICU, friends (in addition to my parents, who rearranged their plans to care for and bake cookies with my kids) showed up with firewood, carloads of food, gifts for the kids and us. . . Santa Claus looked a lot like Carhartt-wearing middle-aged men in pickup trucks and moms in minivans bearing casserole dishes, and the jolly elf in his sleigh himself couldn’t have been more beautiful. For those of you whose children are too old for the regular excitement of Christmas, encourage them to make a new tradition by spreading the magic to someone else’s family.

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ktgrok

ktgrok

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That’s really beautiful.

 

Last year, when DH was recovering from major injury, I was recovering from surgery and dealing with health issues, and we had a preemie in the NICU, friends (in addition to my parents, who rearranged their plans to care for and bake cookies with my kids) showed up with firewood, carloads of food, gifts for the kids and us. . . Santa Claus looked a lot like Carhartt-wearing middle-aged men in pickup trucks and moms in minivans bearing casserole dishes, and the jolly elf in his sleigh himself couldn’t have been more beautiful. For those of you whose children are too old for the regular excitement of Christmas, encourage them to make a new tradition by spreading the magic to someone else’s family.

Happy mama, can I share this anonymously on social media? I think it could really inspire some people to do something similar for someone who could use a bit of help.

 

Today's readings at church more about how when you help one of your brothers you're actually serving God. This post really reminds me of that.

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ktgrok

ktgrok

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That’s really beautiful.

 

Last year, when DH was recovering from major injury, I was recovering from surgery and dealing with health issues, and we had a preemie in the NICU, friends (in addition to my parents, who rearranged their plans to care for and bake cookies with my kids) showed up with firewood, carloads of food, gifts for the kids and us. . . Santa Claus looked a lot like Carhartt-wearing middle-aged men in pickup trucks and moms in minivans bearing casserole dishes, and the jolly elf in his sleigh himself couldn’t have been more beautiful. For those of you whose children are too old for the regular excitement of Christmas, encourage them to make a new tradition by spreading the magic to someone else’s family.

Happy mama, can I share this anonymously on social media? I think it could really inspire some people to do something similar for someone who could use a bit of help.

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nixpix5

nixpix5

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With our first two boys we used to be knee deep in consumerism of the holiday. We would buy so many things because I love to give gifts and gifting is a love language for me. It was magical, yes, but by the teen years they wanted money and I felt like I too had lost the magic. This time around I approach Christmas so differently. Everyone gets 3 gifts and a stocking. We prepare food for the homeless in our church and we go do a live Bethlehem walk through. We purchase a unique ornament every year that represents the year for us. We have other traditions as well that we have built in. What I tried to do was make Christmas less about spending money and getting stuff, and more about giving to others and creating traditions that will carry over into their families. These 3 children are so much more selfless than our first two. Our older boys are great people, don't get me wrong, but they still carry a consumerism mentality that I fear I instilled. Our 8 year old had been saving up for something for the past 6 months. She gets 5 dollars per week in allowance and had saved 120 dollars for an American Girl item. A family at church became homeless and our church was raising funds for them. Without hesitation she gave the family all of her money. When I asked her if she regretted it she said "mommy I wouldn't have felt good buying or playing with it when someone didn't even have enough food." I love that they can think outside themselves.

 

I say this because maybe you can embrace this time by creating more intentional holiday traditions that will give you something to look forward too. It was an adjustment for me too but I really love the way we do it now :)

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skimomma

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Gifting is not my immediate family's love language and we are generally frugal so there has never been an impressive spread under the tree when we are home.  Dd, who is now a teen, only receives one joint gift from Dh and I and one from "santa" each year.  If we are having a good year and dd has requested something substantial, we will consider that as a gift option but other years when things are a bit slim, the gifts may be pretty inexpensive or things she needs anyway.  Plus a stocking that is mostly filled with fruit and nuts.  The whole gift part takes about 20 minutes.  Contrast that to every other year that we spend with our extended family where the gift opening takes hours and hours and hours....sometimes days.  Dd always got so overwhelmed by those gift opening days.  She never knew or remembered who gave her what and the mess and noise drained her by noon.  There were a couple of years at ages 5 and 7 when she started crying partway through gift opening and I had to take her somewhere quiet and calm while the rest of the family protested.  It was not fun for her:(   In those early years, we (her parents) didn't even bother getting her gifts because we knew she would be buried and not even notice.   So, we have always focussed on other traditions and did plan ahead to make those traditions transfer well as dd gets older or to include others, even perhaps grandchildren one day.  I know I personally look far more forward to our annual traditions, be it watching the same dumb movies or trimming the tree, or delivering Christmas day meals through our local senior services than I ever have to the gift opening frenzy.  I cannot say what dd's opinion on it all is but I can say she eagerly checks the calendar every year to know when we will make treats for the birds or cookies for our neighbors.  And we have had to wake HER up every Christmas morning.

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DawnM

DawnM

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Please re-read my OP.....I said I miss lots of LITTLE things.....there seems to be this assumption that we are materialistic.  We are not.  $5 card games, $10 lego sets, etc.....but to a little boy, they were exciting.

 

I miss the EXCITEMENT.....that is all.  

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SparklyUnicorn

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Please re-read my OP.....I said I miss lots of LITTLE things.....there seems to be this assumption that we are materialistic.  We are not.  $5 card games, $10 lego sets, etc.....but to a little boy, they were exciting.

 

I miss the EXCITEMENT.....that is all.  

 

Same here.

 

I remember when one of mine got INSANELY excited over having his own camera (that I bought at the dollar store). 

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Sneezyone

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Please re-read my OP.....I said I miss lots of LITTLE things.....there seems to be this assumption that we are materialistic. We are not. $5 card games, $10 lego sets, etc.....but to a little boy, they were exciting.

 

I miss the EXCITEMENT.....that is all.

Oh no, I get it, I just think the excitement can continue in other ways. I can’t tell you how jazzed we were to see the annual return of “the boob mug†a perennial fave at our white elephant gift exchange (until it was finally retired). New traditions can be exciting too. ðŸ˜

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Annie G

Annie G

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Please re-read my OP.....I said I miss lots of LITTLE things.....there seems to be this assumption that we are materialistic.  We are not.  $5 card games, $10 lego sets, etc.....but to a little boy, they were exciting.

 

I miss the EXCITEMENT.....that is all.  

 

Exactly. Remember when they would get SO excited about baking cookies? Or putting up the tree? Or going to see lights?  It's that excitement that I miss. 

 

This week dd bought oldest granddaughter a $3 coffee mug with a unicorn on it. Granddaughter sent me a picture and a text and squealed with delight when I called her. She was so stinkin' excited about a new mug for her morning tea. It made my day to hear her happiness.   

 

I don't mean that my kids left at home are ungrateful...it's just that adults don't get super excited the way kids do. 

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DawnM

DawnM

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Oh no, I get it, I just think the excitement can continue in other ways. I can’t tell you how jazzed we were to see the annual return of “the boob mug†a perennial fave at our white elephant gift exchange (until it was finally retired). New traditions can be exciting too. ðŸ˜

 

Yeah, it just isn't quite the same for me.  

 

(and I don't think a boob mug would work for our white elephant exchanges, as they are mostly at church!  :lol: )

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Sneezyone

Sneezyone

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Yeah, it just isn't quite the same for me.

 

(and I don't think a boob mug would work for our white elephant exchanges, as they are mostly at church! :lol: )

Ya, this one is family only. Completely irreverent. My grandma’s feigned horror was always the best part.😂 That same little old lady told me my DH had “great legsâ€. She followed that up with, “I always did like your granddads legs.†:rofl:

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Night Elf

Night Elf

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You all have such great ideas but they wouldn't fly here. No one watches movies and the traditional Christmas movies hold no treasured memories. I watch those on my own. I have an artificial tree. I put it up and we have one box of ornaments. Last year I got the tree half decorated, by myself, when both dd and ds happened to be on their way to the kitchen and came over to help after telling me they didn't want to do it. We don't like going to the mall or driving around and seeing lights. We don't celebrate for religious reasons so church events are out. 

 

Our only Christmas meal tradition is each person chooses one food and we have a random collection of items. Last year they didn't even care about that. I bought stuff for sandwiches and a big bag of potato chips. Ds doesn't eat sandwiches so he had his own food, probably Lucky Charms.

 

None of them except me likes Christmas music. I have to listen to it in the car or in my bedroom with the door closed.

 

No one likes to put together puzzles or play board or card games. We've played Apples to Apples when we've gotten together with my family but the kids participated only because it would have been rude for them to sit out. I bought two new board games last year hoping to spark an interest. One is still in the original wrap.

 

We're a bah-humbug family. Honestly, Christmas is just our regular rest of the year routines. 

 

Oldest dd loves Christmas but she has to spend time with her boyfriend's parents and her dad and stepmom, so she shows up at my house around 9:00pm just long enough to exchange gifts. She and I have lunch every week so that's my time with her. Her weekends are too busy for hanging out with me.

 

FWIW, birthdays are the same. No one gets gifts, it's only money. The birthday person chooses a restaurant for a birthday dinner. Sometimes someone will ask for a cake but not always. We don't blow out candles and sing Happy Birthday. It's just another regular day. I feel sorry for the people in my kids' lives a they become adults making their own traditions. 

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SparklyUnicorn

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Yeah that sounds like us.

 

I don't know my neighbors.  I think if I were to randomly stalk people to find some in need of help they'd have me committed.  :lol:

 

 

 

 

You all have such great ideas but they wouldn't fly here. No one watches movies and the traditional Christmas movies hold no treasured memories. I watch those on my own. I have an artificial tree. I put it up and we have one box of ornaments. Last year I got the tree half decorated, by myself, when both dd and ds happened to be on their way to the kitchen and came over to help after telling me they didn't want to do it. We don't like going to the mall or driving around and seeing lights. We don't celebrate for religious reasons so church events are out. 

 

Our only Christmas meal tradition is each person chooses one food and we have a random collection of items. Last year they didn't even care about that. I bought stuff for sandwiches and a big bag of potato chips. Ds doesn't eat sandwiches so he had his own food, probably Lucky Charms.

 

None of them except me likes Christmas music. I have to listen to it in the car or in my bedroom with the door closed.

 

No one likes to put together puzzles or play board or card games. We've played Apples to Apples when we've gotten together with my family but the kids participated only because it would have been rude for them to sit out. I bought two new board games last year hoping to spark an interest. One is still in the original wrap.

 

We're a bah-humbug family. Honestly, Christmas is just our regular rest of the year routines. 

 

Oldest dd loves Christmas but she has to spend time with her boyfriend's parents and her dad and stepmom, so she shows up at my house around 9:00pm just long enough to exchange gifts. She and I have lunch every week so that's my time with her. Her weekends are too busy for hanging out with me.

 

FWIW, birthdays are the same. No one gets gifts, it's only money. The birthday person chooses a restaurant for a birthday dinner. Sometimes someone will ask for a cake but not always. We don't blow out candles and sing Happy Birthday. It's just another regular day. I feel sorry for the people in my kids' lives a they become adults making their own traditions. 

 

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Night Elf

Night Elf

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Yeah that sounds like us.

 

I don't know my neighbors.  I think if I were to randomly stalk people to find some in need of help they'd have me committed.  :lol:

 

We don't know our neighbors either. Our houses are too far apart. I was embarrassed last week. We were at the Sprint store getting my dd a new phone and the guy wanted me to fill out a form to refer friends for a special discount. I had to tell him we didn't have any friends. I told him I know that sounds crazy but I'm totally telling you the truth. The only non-family friend is my dd's boyfriend and he's on his parent's cell phone plan. 

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SparklyUnicorn

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We don't know our neighbors either. Our houses are too far apart. I was embarrassed last week. We were at the Sprint store getting my dd a new phone and the guy wanted me to fill out a form to refer friends for a special discount. I had to tell him we didn't have any friends. I told him I know that sounds crazy but I'm totally telling you the truth. The only non-family friend is my dd's boyfriend and he's on his parent's cell phone plan. 

 

I can't tell you how many times doctor's offices (or the like) get mad at me when I have no emergency contacts. 

 

Same story here. 

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marbel

marbel

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<snip>

 

I feel sorry for the people in my kids' lives a they become adults making their own traditions. 

 

Why?  They can adapt traditions from their families and make new ones. The only negative would be if your kids refused to take part. 

 

My sister kept all of our parents' traditions. When she got married, she had no relationship with her in-laws so she never had to compromise on traditions; she did everything the way our mom and dad had done. Then when her kids grew up and married, it was hard for her to see them doing different things, adopting the traditions of their in-laws.  She was stuck in our family's ways.  

 

My husband and I blended some, dropped some, made some of our own. It worked out.

 

Your kids will have a clean slate!  

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DawnM

DawnM

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We do know our neighbors, somewhat.  

 

We don't hang out with them, although one neighbor watches our dogs and we were invited to her daughter's wedding this past summer and we talk periodically.

 

Our immediate neighbors we do talk to, but again, not for dinner parties.  I go to lunch with the ladies every now and then but most of them are when I am at work.

 

We live far apart, we all have at least 2 acres, etc....but we see each other.

 

But I don't put any of them down for emergency contacts.  I have other friends for that.

 

 

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SparklyUnicorn

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We do know our neighbors, somewhat.  

 

We don't hang out with them, although one neighbor watches our dogs and we were invited to her daughter's wedding this past summer and we talk periodically.

 

Our immediate neighbors we do talk to, but again, not for dinner parties.  I go to lunch with the ladies every now and then but most of them are when I am at work.

 

We live far apart, we all have at least 2 acres, etc....but we see each other.

 

But I don't put any of them down for emergency contacts.  I have other friends for that.

 

Well my point was more along the lines of either one happens to know of someone who'd appreciate some holiday cheer or they don't.  I mean what should I do?  Go door to door asking if people have that covered?  I'm awkward enough...I don't need to advertise the fact.  LOL

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Pippen

Pippen

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Exactly. Remember when they would get SO excited about baking cookies? Or putting up the tree? Or going to see lights?  It's that excitement that I miss. 

 

This week dd bought oldest granddaughter a $3 coffee mug with a unicorn on it. Granddaughter sent me a picture and a text and squealed with delight when I called her. She was so stinkin' excited about a new mug for her morning tea. It made my day to hear her happiness.   

 

I don't mean that my kids left at home are ungrateful...it's just that adults don't get super excited the way kids do. 

 

 I knew my boys were over the cookie baking tradition when they started turning the gingerbread boys into a clone army. 

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Peaceseeker

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This thread makes me a bit sad as my kids are on the cusp. I hope they don't get sick of the lights, movies, Christmas cookies, etc.. I definitely focus more on experiences during the season than the gifts on the day of, but I understand teens might stop being 'into' those experiences for a while. Which makes me very sad because next Christmas I will officially have two teens. I hope we are all able to hold onto the magic a bit longer...

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Annie G

Annie G

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This thread makes me a bit sad as my kids are on the cusp. I hope they don't get sick of the lights, movies, Christmas cookies, etc.. I definitely focus more on experiences during the season than the gifts on the day of, but I understand teens might stop being 'into' those experiences for a while. Which makes me very sad because next Christmas I will officially have two teens. I hope we are all able to hold onto the magic a bit longer...

 

Ours loved Christmas until about when they left for college. While they were teenagers they still loved it all.  Hope you have many fun years ahead. 

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Caroline

Caroline

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This thread makes me a bit sad as my kids are on the cusp. I hope they don't get sick of the lights, movies, Christmas cookies, etc.. I definitely focus more on experiences during the season than the gifts on the day of, but I understand teens might stop being 'into' those experiences for a while. Which makes me very sad because next Christmas I will officially have two teens. I hope we are all able to hold onto the magic a bit longer...

Mine range in age from 11 to 22. There is still plenty of magic. It’s different from when they were little, but still wonderful. (Hence borrowing the neighbor kids for some little kid magic...)

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ktgrok

ktgrok

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I think you have to realize too that some of the little things don't seem important/fun/special until  after they happen for a few years in a row. 

 

And as for excitement/fun, I feel that comes from the surprise factor. My oldest doesn't like a lot of surprises, and his big gifts are cash or something he picks out, but he still gets a few smaller things that are surprises. One year he got a giant tower of ramen! I'd bought cases of the stuff and stacked it into a big, elaborate tower. He ate it for a full year, lol, and he grinned hugely when he saw it. It was funny, it was something he liked, and it was unexpected. 

 

Other ideas are nicer pens for the college girl, a pretty calendar, lots of highliters in a rainbow of colors, a mug that is chosen or them based on an interest or personality trait (cafe press is good for this), etc. 

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happypamama

happypamama

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Happy mama, can I share this anonymously on social media? I think it could really inspire some people to do something similar for someone who could use a bit of help.

 

Today's readings at church more about how when you help one of your brothers you're actually serving God. This post really reminds me of that.

If you keep it general and leave out the part about DH getting hurt and my user name, that’s fine. And I agree — helping other other people is definitely serving God.

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SKL

SKL

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In Case of Emergency Call:

 

"911"

 

That's what DH writes down on every form. 911

 

Great idea!  I have also found that you can leave lines blank or just put your own name in there.

 

As a single mom with no nearby relatives, I was putting work friends on my kids' activity forms, which never felt right.  Or I would put relatives who were too far away to do anything other than call me.  Finally one day I said, "if there is a true emergency, I hope they would have the sense to call 911.  If it's not a 911 emergency, it can wait until I get their voice mail."

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SKL

SKL

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When I was the age of some of our "unexcited" kids, I didn't have that problem because I had younger siblings who were still totally into it.  And then there were my parents' older grandkids, and finally my kids.  As long as there is one little kid in the family, it's exciting to anticipate their joy even if we are in on the "magic."

 

My kids don't have any younger ones around the house.  But this thread has got me thinking that I should try to incorporate younger kids in future Christmases.  Actually let's start with this one.  We are visiting a family that has a four-year-old.  I don't know how they celebrate since they are Indian Hindus, but they suggested taking my kids to a Christmas party, so they must be OK with the idea.  I will try to think of ways to get my kids involved in doing something for the little boy's Christmas, and in the future I'll look for local opportunities.

 

One thing that might work is the local Polar Express train - they do use child volunteers to play elves.  This year we're out of town, but maybe next year they could get involved in that.  Little kids actually believe it.   :)

 

Edited by SKL
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Laura Corin

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I have been adding in new events, more to make Christmas sweet rather than exciting. I now wake the boys while dressed as a reindeer.

 

A few years ago I started decorating the porch.

 

This year we will have new candle chimes on the sitting room table.

 

When three of the grandparents died, the dog started giving gifts (signed with a paw print) of clothes, as she worries we are cold without fur. That's five more gifts under the tree, but not junk.

 

We read The Journey of the Magi by Eliot.

 

Little things.

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happypamama

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I have been adding in new events, more to make Christmas sweet rather than exciting. I now wake the boys while dressed as a reindeer.

 

A few years ago I started decorating the porch.

 

This year we will have new candle chimes on the sitting room table.

 

When three of the grandparents died, the dog started giving gifts (signed with a paw print) of clothes, as she worries we are cold without fur. That's five more gifts under the tree, but not junk.

 

We read The Journey of the Magi by Eliot.

 

Little things.

Love the reindeer idea! And the clothes from the dog is adorable and clever too!

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Joyofsixreboot

Joyofsixreboot

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What about the movies, the cartoons, the hot cocoa, the games, the little things that make the season. The presents are just one day.

 

But then we're just headed into the teens so maybe I'm in denial of the future.

My young adults and teens don't care for those things. Christmas just isn't their favorite holiday. It's not mine either but it seems like we should do something

 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

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SparklyUnicorn

SparklyUnicorn

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I have been adding in new events, more to make Christmas sweet rather than exciting. I now wake the boys while dressed as a reindeer.

 

A few years ago I started decorating the porch.

 

This year we will have new candle chimes on the sitting room table.

 

When three of the grandparents died, the dog started giving gifts (signed with a paw print) of clothes, as she worries we are cold without fur. That's five more gifts under the tree, but not junk.

 

We read The Journey of the Magi by Eliot.

 

Little things.

 

Eh hem..pictures or it didn't happen.  :laugh:

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DawnM

DawnM

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What about the movies, the cartoons, the hot cocoa, the games, the little things that make the season.  The presents are just one day.  

 

But then we're just headed into the teens so maybe I'm in denial of the future.  

Is this directed at me?  I don't need gift suggestions.  I was merely lamenting my kids squeals of delight when opening gifts and their sense of wonder at looking at the lights and sounds of Christmas.  Their excitement over the countdown, etc....

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