Pointless thread about 1st birthdays.

[Elizabeth86]

I agree, watching them figure it out themselves is the point. So cute. Once one begins to stage manage children to raise the cuteness factor, the cuteness factor ceases to exist.

Oh I agree. My great nephews smash cake was annoying. There were aunts and grandmas pushing his hands in it, putting on his face in his mouth making a big commotion. I would have lost it.

[shawthorne44]

You're disgusted by babies eating cake? OK, then! They may not have always been called "smash cakes" or been a prop for professional photos, but the general idea for a 1-year-old is hardly new.

 

I wasn't the one you were talking to, but I am disgusted by the smash cake concept. although we might not be talking about the same thing.  

 

Smash cake means to me the adult either taking the back of the innocent babies head and smashing it into the cake, or the adult picking up some cake and smashing it into the babies head.  The thought makes my blood boil.   

 

If it is the baby eating the cake whatever way the baby wants to eat the cake, then that is perfectly fine.   It is the adult doing the smashing that bothers me.  

[Bluegoat]

You're disgusted by babies eating cake? OK, then! They may not have always been called "smash cakes" or been a prop for professional photos, but the general idea for a 1-year-old is hardly new.

 

I don't think people are disgusted by babies eating cake.

 

They don't like cake being smashed just for the sake of smashing it.  Not the same thing.

[marbel]

I don't think people are disgusted by babies eating cake.

 

They don't like cake being smashed just for the sake of smashing it.  Not the same thing.

 

Right.  

 

Who the heck is talking about being disgusted by babies eating cake?  

 

I think what's disgusting people is the social media / pinterest aspect of giving a baby a special cake and encouraging them to smash it for the photo op.    And the idea that giving babies cake on their first birthday is a new trend...   :001_rolleyes:   Of course some babies are going to smash the cake up as they try to eat it or figure out what to do with it.  

[EMS83]

I don't know what a smash cake is.  We just gave them a piece of the cake the rest of us were having, just like every other birthday.   :)

 

 

ETA: nevermind; social media thing...no wonder I'm clueless! 

Edited September 11, 2017 by CES2005

[frogger]

I wasn't the one you were talking to, but I am disgusted by the smash cake concept. although we might not be talking about the same thing.

 

Smash cake means to me the adult either taking the back of the innocent babies head and smashing it into the cake, or the adult picking up some cake and smashing it into the babies head. The thought makes my blood boil.

 

If it is the baby eating the cake whatever way the baby wants to eat the cake, then that is perfectly fine. It is the adult doing the smashing that bothers me.

Huh? People do this? I'm obviously out of touch.

[teachermom2834]

I wasn't the one you were talking to, but I am disgusted by the smash cake concept. although we might not be talking about the same thing.

 

Smash cake means to me the adult either taking the back of the innocent babies head and smashing it into the cake, or the adult picking up some cake and smashing it into the babies head. The thought makes my blood boil.

 

If it is the baby eating the cake whatever way the baby wants to eat the cake, then that is perfectly fine. It is the adult doing the smashing that bothers me.

I think this happens when there is a big build up for the smash cake and the baby doesn't play along. Though- I have not seen it to this extreme I have seen an awful lot of cajoling and promoting to try to get the "smash".

[Cecropia]

Eh, you're only 1 once.  I generally expect parties for young children to be messy; the mess is half the fun.

 

Truth be told, it would be fun to defy social convention... Being a mature mother of 4, I'd greatly enjoy smashing up a large cake and sticking enormous frosted fistfuls into my mouth.

 

ETA: talking about babies eating/playing with cake, not being physically smashed into cake, which I also have never heard of before now

Edited September 11, 2017 by Cecropia

[brehon]

Right.

 

Who the heck is talking about being disgusted by babies eating cake?

 

I think what's disgusting people is the social media / pinterest aspect of giving a baby a special cake and encouraging them to smash it for the photo op. And the idea that giving babies cake on their first birthday is a new trend... :001_rolleyes: Of course some babies are going to smash the cake up as they try to eat it or figure out what to do with it.

This is what I referred to with my post, though I find the whole thing bemusing rather than disgusting. My brother and SIL were so wrapped up in the whole smash cake concept (where the wee one was supposed to smash the cake with her hand/fist and smear it all over her face) that they thought the entire party was ruined when my niece didn't cooperate with their plans.

 

It wasn't about the fun of a one year old getting messy with their birthday cake; it was about the photo op and making everything Pinterest-worthy.

[TravelingChris]

None of my kids had anything more than a family one year birthday dinner.  I guess we may have had cake- I don't really remember.  Actually we would often take them out for birthday dinners and they would get birthday cupcake or dessert from the restaurant.  They seemed to like that.  I don't remember any smashing of any cake- we certainly wouldn't have put a cake in front of a 1 year old that others were supposed to eat.  But I think by one they were eating a lot neater than earlier attempts.  I don't think we took photos of them usually having a mess.  I don't remember that there was anything special about the way they ate.  I think they all had cake before their first birthday or something cake like too.My clearest memory of one of them eating before one was middle loving the food on the cruise we were on.  She was nine months old.

[vonfirmath]

I know just what you're talking about and I think it is dumb.  OP, I don't see the appeal either.  :confused1:

 

It seems to have become really popular maybe in the last ten years or so? I honestly don't remember anyone doing this back when my kids were babies (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and hey! you kids get off my lawn!).

 

They've been doing it more than 10 years.

My friends' kids are adults and both had a smash cake-type experience.

 

(I was at the 1st birthday party for the youngest back in the mid-90s)

[Bluegoat]

I think this happens when there is a big build up for the smash cake and the baby doesn't play along. Though- I have not seen it to this extreme I have seen an awful lot of cajoling and promoting to try to get the "smash".

 

Yeah - I think the thing is, once you go to all the trouble to set things up for a special cake, you are kind of invested in a particular result.  Which IME quite a lot of babies aren't interested in.

[heartlikealion]

If you google smash cake a lot of the photos are of full size cakes. I don't think that's the same thing as giving a baby a tiny cake or slice. It seems extremely wasteful to use a full size cake just for the baby.

[matrips]

Not sure what smash cake is for the little ones, but I gave my trio cupcakes to eat for their first. We always do cake for birthdays. So I never even though of not giving them some. Each cupcake had a candle and we sang happy birthday. It was interesting to watch who was neat and careful and who was too busy cramming it into their mouth. They certainly liked them! Yes, a mess but no more than any other food they would self feed.

[Word Nerd]

I wasn't the one you were talking to, but I am disgusted by the smash cake concept. although we might not be talking about the same thing.  

 

Smash cake means to me the adult either taking the back of the innocent babies head and smashing it into the cake, or the adult picking up some cake and smashing it into the babies head.  The thought makes my blood boil.   

 

If it is the baby eating the cake whatever way the baby wants to eat the cake, then that is perfectly fine.   It is the adult doing the smashing that bothers me.  

 

I didn't even know that was a thing. I just thought "smash cake" was giving a baby a small cake to do with as they please. Smashing was definitely an accurate description of what both of my kids did with their cake at that age.

[Ravin]

This looks like a good place to vent about my niece's 1st bday party. 

 

1. They had it on the weekend of MY birthday and 3 weeks before the kid's birthday. Good thing I didn't have my own party planned, eh?

 

2. SIL's aunt kept taunting/teasing the baby. First, kept taking away the roll she was noshing on, making her cry. Then, when they put her in front of the smash cake and she didn't smash it herself quickly enough, this same person smashed the baby's face into the cake, again making her cry.

 

Then smashed SIL's face into the cake, too. 

 

Honestly, I doubt I'll go to another shindig SIL throws that her family will be at because I don't like being around her family (she also has a teenaged cousin who was a total twerp and bullied DS at the baby shower).

[TABmom]

This looks like a good place to vent about my niece's 1st bday party.

 

1. They had it on the weekend of MY birthday and 3 weeks before the kid's birthday. Good thing I didn't have my own party planned, eh?

 

2. SIL's aunt kept taunting/teasing the baby. First, kept taking away the roll she was noshing on, making her cry. Then, when they put her in front of the smash cake and she didn't smash it herself quickly enough, this same person smashed the baby's face into the cake, again making her cry.

 

Then smashed SIL's face into the cake, too.

 

Honestly, I doubt I'll go to another shindig SIL throws that her family will be at because I don't like being around her family (she also has a teenaged cousin who was a total twerp and bullied DS at the baby shower).

That's insane. I have never, ever, ever heard of an adult smashing a baby's face into a cake. I gave all of my babies "smash cakes" a small version of the big cake. Of course, I gave it to them and let them do with it as they pleased. It was always the first time they had sweets. They were all fairly hesitant about it, but no one was upset. I put some frosting on my finger and put it in their mouths. Their eyes got big when they got a taste and then they got a little more enthusiastic.

[SKL]

If you google smash cake a lot of the photos are of full size cakes. I don't think that's the same thing as giving a baby a tiny cake or slice. It seems extremely wasteful to use a full size cake just for the baby.

 

For that matter it seems wasteful to have an all-out party for a baby.  :P

[heartlikealion]

For that matter it seems wasteful to have an all-out party for a baby.  :p

 

Well, yeah. We have really only had small parties for our kids at those ages. Like just family.

 

[marbel]

That's insane. I have never, ever, ever heard of an adult smashing a baby's face into a cake. I gave all of my babies "smash cakes" a small version of the big cake. Of course, I gave it to them and let them do with it as they pleased. It was always the first time they had sweets. They were all fairly hesitant about it, but no one was upset. I put some frosting on my finger and put it in their mouths. Their eyes got big when they got a taste and then they got a little more enthusiastic.

 

I hit quote accidentally but my comment kinds of fits as a follow-on.  The idea of doing things that make little kids cry for a photo op makes me so mad.  Same idea as making a crying kid sit on Santa's lap and then coaxing them (or yelling at them to) smile for the camera.   And then getting mad when they don't.  

 

Why do people do this to little kids?  I guess most kids aren't going to have memories of it so no harm done (maybe?) but... ugh I hate it.   It seems like it's getting worse since every dang thing people do has to be recorded for instagram or whatever.   (Or maybe it's not any worse but rather just more visible.)

[Barb_]

I hit quote accidentally but my comment kinds of fits as a follow-on. The idea of doing things that make little kids cry for a photo op makes me so mad. Same idea as making a crying kid sit on Santa's lap and then coaxing them (or yelling at them to) smile for the camera. And then getting mad when they don't.

 

Why do people do this to little kids? I guess most kids aren't going to have memories of it so no harm done (maybe?) but... ugh I hate it. It seems like it's getting worse since every dang thing people do has to be recorded for instagram or whatever. (Or maybe it's not any worse but rather just more visible.)

Stage parents have always been a problem, but social media has spread the phenomenon wider thanks to the hopes of going viral. Everyone has a platform for exploiting their kids if they wish to take advantage of it.

[frogger]

Stage parents have always been a problem, but social media has spread the phenomenon wider thanks to the hopes of going viral. Everyone has a platform for exploiting their kids if they wish to take advantage of it.

I guess that is probably true even if it is hard for me to comprehend why anyone could possibly want to do so.

 

When I said we were ahead of the trend I was only thinking of handing the baby a cake 50 years ago. No forcing or staging or whatever. It's usually their first taste of cake and it was for them to enjoy.

Edited September 11, 2017 by frogger

[Mimm]

I got professional pictures taken with a smash cake with my youngest. They are adorable and precious to me. So... whatever.

[vonfirmath]

For that matter it seems wasteful to have an all-out party for a baby. :P

It's an excuse for the families to get together

[Barb_]

It's an excuse for the families to get together

Yeah, it's ok to do it, and it's ok not to do it. I hate throwing parties so much and was happy to avoid it. A friend of mine used to throw huge, elaborate parties for her 1yos even before social media. Maybe first birthday celebrations evolved as a way to celebrate the infant living through the first year. That wasn't always a forgone conclusion.

[eternalsummer]

We always give the baby a piece of cake or cupcake to do with as he pleases.

 

It is done differently, afaik, in the Mexican tradition - my SIL's in-laws call it (I think) molesta el pastel.  It is basically the smash cake thing.

[Ravin]

The other thing that made no sense to me was that the 1 yo. was served a "smash cake" the size of her head, and everyone else got (very pretty, extremely tasty) cupcakes.

 

Like, just stick a candle in a cupcake and call it good! 

 

DN is going to be an only so I think SIL uses it as an excuse to go all out on everything. It's a bit much IMO.

 

I am in the "First birthday parties are for the parents and their friends, not for the baby" camp. 

 

So are BIL and SIL, which is why there was a lot of rum at DN's party. My kids were the only kids there other than the birthday girl, and we didn't stay long.

[heartlikealion]

It's an excuse for the families to get together

 

Or not lol. We did two separate celebrations at the last one. Each very small, just had some dessert after dinner and let dd open a few things.

 

eta: Oh yeah well it was families getting together, just not the same way we did with some parties where both sets of grandparents came over to one home.

 

Edited September 12, 2017 by heartlikealion

[shawthorne44]

I hit quote accidentally but my comment kinds of fits as a follow-on.  The idea of doing things that make little kids cry for a photo op makes me so mad.  Same idea as making a crying kid sit on Santa's lap and then coaxing them (or yelling at them to) smile for the camera.   And then getting mad when they don't.  

 

Why do people do this to little kids?  I guess most kids aren't going to have memories of it so no harm done (maybe?) but... ugh I hate it.   It seems like it's getting worse since every dang thing people do has to be recorded for instagram or whatever.   (Or maybe it's not any worse but rather just more visible.)

 

Or taking a video when you hand your trusting baby a lemon to eat.   Or you tell your kid you ate all his Halloween candy and then video the meltdown.  

 

eta: wrong verb tense.  

Also, people have thought for a long time that because babies can't verbalize that they remember something, therefore they can't remember.   But, there are studies that show this is completely not true.  

Edited September 12, 2017 by shawthorne44

[Bluegoat]

For that matter it seems wasteful to have an all-out party for a baby.  :p

 

I don't know, what's "all-out?"  If you have your family and friends and eat some nice food and visit, I don't see how that's a waste.  People like to celebrate for friends, and I think the babies even get something out of the community spirit - it's building relationships, anyway, for them.  Which is one of the main jobs when you're a baby.

 

There is something though about making an event about a photo op (not just the smash cake, but generally)  There seems to be a line between taking a photo of an event, and the photo or the recording becoming an important part of the event - there's been kind of an odd shift in culture the past 10 years or so that way.

[SKL]

I don't know, what's "all-out?"  If you have your family and friends and eat some nice food and visit, I don't see how that's a waste.  People like to celebrate for friends, and I think the babies even get something out of the community spirit - it's building relationships, anyway, for them.  Which is one of the main jobs when you're a baby.

 

There is something though about making an event about a photo op (not just the smash cake, but generally)  There seems to be a line between taking a photo of an event, and the photo or the recording becoming an important part of the event - there's been kind of an odd shift in culture the past 10 years or so that way.

 

I'm all about families and friends getting together, but not the wasteful frills which have no benefit beyond the ego boost for the party thrower.

 

Not saying it's wrong if that's your thing, just that it's no more right than wasting cake on a baby.

[SKL]

Or taking a video when you hand your trusting baby a lemon to eat.    

 

I didn't video it, but when my eldest asked for a lemon wedge, I let her have it.  She liked it.  :P  For years it was one of the few fruits she would eat.

 

Which goes back to, the fun is in how different kids are when they haven't been conditioned to believe xyz is good or bad.

 

[Annie G]

I got professional pictures taken with a smash cake with my youngest. They are adorable and precious to me. So... whatever.

 

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend. I'm probably projecting how obnoxious some of my clients are when they order their kid's birthday cake. I've had parents want to do a tasting like people do with weddings. Parents who want a smash cake that is more elaborate than many birthday cakes and then expect it to be free.  And that's kind of a problem when they want it a week before the regular birthday cake because usually I make the smash cake at the same time, using the same icing and batter as the regular cake. 

 

I've seen some ADORABLE smash cake pics.   I was wrong to complain about the pics when I was actually irritated with some of my clients.  

 

It's funny how a few bad experiences can overshadow lots of good ones...an annoying client I remember well but I have lots more easy to work with clients. I guess it's the same with restaurants. We can eat someplace often but the first time we have a bad experience we sure remember that!