Jenny in Florida Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 I got my hubby a beer making kit one Christmas, and he STILL uses it - in fact, he has joined a local home-brewers club!Mr. Beer Deluxe Edition Home Microbrewery System - this is at Amazon for $29. It is exactly what I got hubby. He has since found a local home brew store to buy more bottles, supplies, etc. For $29 it is a great way to see if he would like this "guy" hobby! If only he liked beer . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 I have similar issues with my dh. He buys himself things when he wants to so there's nothing that he's really wishing he would get. He's not huge on presents - we went for years with a $10 limit for each other - but he does want to be thought of. Last year for his birthday we were going into the US so his birthday present was supposed to be his pick from Best Buy - so I bought him peanuts and jelly beans and a card for the road trip. He didn't end up finding anything he wanted at Best Buy and still teases me about buying him peanuts for his birthday that year. This year I actually have an idea that I think will work. We recently moved into this house and dh really loves it here. He mentioned a while back that he'd like a sign with our name on it for outside the house. I'll be doing this for him for Christmas. My dh doesn't like sports, either, but he does like doing things with the kids. For his birthday this year I bought him some foot care stuff (he loves having his feet rubbed - ew) and a movie that he could watch with the kids. Maybe there's something you could get him that would facilitate time with the kids? A board game or a video game? A pair of hiking boots or a backpack? Or how about a book? My dh doesn't read (!!!!) because he spends too much of his work time reading and he figures if he's reading at home he should be spending that time reading documents, not books, but he does listen to audio books when he's travelling so I've bought him a few John Eldridge books and the bible in Mp3 format. He's always appreciated those. Good luck and please update us on what you decide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Ok then, how about this: 101 Nights of Great Romance. http://www.amazon.com/101-Nights-Grrreat-Romance-Seductions/dp/0962962821/ref=pd_bbs_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225472592&sr=8-1 sealed 'recipes'; half for the dh, half for you & you get to surprise each other twice a week. A gift for the whole year for both of you. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 I don't really know if this will help you because it is not exactly giving a gift. For years, my dh and I tried to exchange several gifts with each other. For years, he got me something I didn't really like or would never use. It caused hurt feelings because I felt like he didn't really know me if he couldn't figure out what I would want. I matured and realized it has nothing to do with his feelings for me or how much he knew me. One year, my mil told me that they had stopped giving gifts to each other a long time ago. She said instead they went shopping together and bought themselves something special. Wow! We started doing that and the stress was lifted from the holiday. Some years we have money for bigger gifts and it has been fun to go shop for them. Most years, we just have a little money and don't do so much. I think last year, I didn't even buy anything because I didn't really want anything. It was just that I knew I could have if I wanted to and he would go shopping with me to get it. We do this for birthdays too. We still get each other a few smallish gifts just to have something to open with the kids. Just nothing earth shattering or big. Simple, I think you may like this type things. As far as feeling like you don't earn money to buy him something... that is a whole nuther post. Good luck to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 OK, Jenny gets the A for effort here - how about your post the thread out and tell him you TRIED???? Someone is going to have something - i think this is worse than buying for my Dad/parents. Can you put your son to work scoping out ideas for you the next few weeks? Maybe they can go to a store and he can keep his ears on? Back to cleaning - i had to come check on if someone had hit on THE idea for you yet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermom Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 My husband loves inventing things, making model rockets from scratch, etc. He bought 2 issues of this magazine for $15 each and wished he could affort them all. For Christmas, we are getting him back issues used off of Amazon and he is going to LOVE them. I think most men who like to make sciencey toys would like this magazine. I know he showed a group of men friends and they all thought it was COOL. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=make+magazine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 I'll take a shot at this. :) I second the suggestion about having your son go shopping with Dad and try to scope out ideas. I also think you get a AAA for effort! But maybe it's time to have a talk with him and tell him not everyone functions the way he does with gift giving. It's been 33 years of marriage here and sometimes we still have to have a talk to figure something out. Maybe you just need to say "don't go shopping..leave something for me to buy you for Christmas!" Big hits here were a nice set of Binocs, Gem studded globe, wall mounted outside thermometer that gives inside and outside temp and the humidity and such. Bible on tape for his drive to and from work. My dh hunts and golfs and is a handy man, so there is usually plenty to pick from in those lines, but he still needs to tell me what he is looking for and I take it from there. Slippers. He gets new ones every year as he wears them at home all the time. Magazine subscriptions to...I am thinking something Techy like PC World or PC Games . If not maybe something like World Magazine or I don't know, Maybe Guideposts, or Reminisce or Readers Digest.. If that still fails then try a : A basket with the aforementioned nightgown for you and a certificate to a weekend at a hotel. make him lounge pants (My Dh never wore anything but jeans until I sewed him some jogging pants..now he loves them) favorite beverage..if he loves coffee or tea or hot cocoa, find a great one, His kind of chocolate..whatever he loves.. A new movie for the two of you. His favorite snack, if it's popcorn, get some gourmet stuff, if it's peanuts, find a flavored one. something he loves, but will only buy on a whim..my DH loves licorice and peanuts and popcorn. Find a new game the two of you can play..like maybe a new cribbage board or a puzzle ( my dh hates them, but my Son in law loves them) new scrabble board, chnese checkers..or even a new computer game that you have heard him talk about or a new one in the genre of what he likes to play online. the thought is, a basket full of love and an evening of entertainment.. BUt wow, AAA for effort! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balancing Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 (edited) Amazon has gift suggestions for husbands. How about an Ipod docking station radio. If he doesn't have a GPS system, they are fun, even if you don't really 'need' one. Edited October 31, 2008 by Balancing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 Amazon has gift suggestions for husbands. Yep. Clothes (which he doesn't like getting as gifts), assorted grilling supplies (which we don't do), sports-related stuff (which he doesn't follow), books he probably won't read, magazines that don't interest him (and we already have subscriptions to the ones that do), tools he won't use, electronics he's already got . . . Sigh. How about an Ipod docking station radio. He bought one two months ago, shortly after he bought the Ipod. If he doesn't have a GPS system, they are fun, even if you don't really 'need' one. He's got one. It's still in the box. Geez. I'm starting to feel guilty for even opening this thread, since it seems like all I do is shoot down ideas. I promise, I'm so grateful for the efforts you have all put forth here. He just really is tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Geez. I'm starting to feel guilty for even opening this thread, since it seems like all I do is shoot down ideas. I promise, I'm so grateful for the efforts you have all put forth here. He just really is tough. Well, it's not bothering me - i just want to see what you come up with! :lol: I"ve had years like that with various relatives. Weather station that connects to the computer? My Dad loves his - bought himself a newer one even! LOL!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katrina Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Send the kids away, and have your husband come home to you wrapped up in a big bow or something (and nothing else)? Or a naughty santa's elf? I'm totally blushing over here just suggesting something like this, but I don't know many husbands who wouldn't appreciate that kind of gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 I promise, I'm so grateful for the efforts you have all put forth here. He just really is tough. Lol! Well you haven't technically shot down my gem dice idea. I don't believe there could be a gamer anywhere who wouldn't like "status dice" as my dh calls them. If your hubby doesn't use dice, well, I'll conclude he's a lost cause!! I know you said he doesn't like clothes as gifts, but what if they have suitable slogans on them? http://www.offlinetshirts.com/gaming/gamingdept.cgi/gamingdept/atshirtnexus.17641493 Men! :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 Lol! Well you haven't technically shot down my gem dice idea. I don't believe there could be a gamer anywhere who wouldn't like "status dice" as my dh calls them. If your hubby doesn't use dice, well, I'll conclude he's a lost cause!! I know you said he doesn't like clothes as gifts, but what if they have suitable slogans on them? http://www.offlinetshirts.com/gaming/gamingdept.cgi/gamingdept/atshirtnexus.17641493 Men! :) Rosie No, I'm still mulling over the dice concept. The thing is that the game he's playing with this group is one with which I'm not really familiar. So, I'm not sure how integral dice are to it. The t-shirt is cute, and slogan t's are acceptable, if they are cool enough. He recently bought himself a few new ones, though, and usually comes home with at least a couple from Megacon each spring. So, it would have to be something truly cool and special to be possible. The dice thing does sound cool. I'll have to do some more investigating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 The t-shirt is cute, and slogan t's are acceptable... Anything from Glarkware strike your fancy, perhaps? He changes up the Limited Edition selection pretty frequently... I've ordered a couple of times, and been very satisfied with order speed and quality of items. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 Does he cook? (Or particularly if he doesn't!) How about a series of cooking lessons? Do you have a favorite vegan restaurant? Perhaps you could ask the chef for some private lessons for him. Electric toothbrush? Day at a spa? or massage coupons? Good luck! I don't envy you .... Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 The t-shirt is cute, and slogan t's are acceptable, if they are cool enough. He recently bought himself a few new ones, though, and usually comes home with at least a couple from Megacon each spring. So, it would have to be something truly cool and special to be possible. C'mon! You know anything with "necromancer" on it is the ultimate in coolness. ;) Rosie- too much time spent with gamers... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 Are his parents a good source for you to discover more about happy childhood memories? Did he have a favorite cookie Mom used to make? (And you could make that's vegan, or in a vegan version) Can you restore an old picture of him and a best friend, or make a picture into an oil painting? I've done the photo thing to death, but I've never done this yet. Can you go to a BandB for a night or two away? Who cares if you spend "his" money--it's for both of you, and you can get yourself a new pair of "jammies" to wear there, iykwim. I did a date calendar for dh, using a cheapie calendar (I think every month had a LOVE theme of some kind) and putting a "date" in a colored envelope for each month (I stapled them to each month). Some were Cheap Dates--a box of Raisinettes (substitute his expensive chocolate in a small quantity) and a Blockbuster certificate, a round of mini-golf, 10 bucks in arcade coins (I went to the arcade and actually put the coins in the envelope, so we had to go). Some were more expensive--I think there were tickets to some special performance for one month, but I don't honestly remember what we went to. You could do A Drive in The Country and enclose a map, and go to a winery or a battlefield, or see a display of something fun, and bring a picnic. Ok, he doesn't do outdoors, and he has a bad back, but he can still walk, right? I know you just don't have anything to talk about except kids (oops, I mean it FEELs that way) so why not spend time together to reconnect, and keep him the topic of conversation? Bring up some good memories of your dating times. Maybe even recreate a night you had that was prekid and really fun. Date nights are hard to come by here, because dh never knows when he'll be called away, but having a date a month that we HAVE to take makes it easier. Even if it starts out that I don't want to go, I always have fun. Not every date will be a stunner, but reconnecting is important for every married couple. Some more advice--take it or leave it, of course! Don't strive for the perfect gift. He's not going to be wowed or surprised, because he likes having control. Secretly, he wants to be known so well that he doesn't have to say a word about his desires, he just wants to be noticed and for people to figure it out. That makes him feel loved. ---Sound familiar? This is so common in my friends, only it's usually the woman. "If I have to tell you want I want, it means you don't care enough about me to have been listening all these years." Some people expect others to magically "get" them, thinking it's the people around them that are at fault for not trying hard enough, instead of their own failure to communicate and faulty expectation of others' ability to mind-read. So, for gifting, do the best you can, but do not let him make you feel guilty for "hurting" his feelings. He needs to grow up a bit. His expectations are unreasonable. I'm not bashing him, I'm just saying (not very gently, sorry) that you can do everything right, and there is still the possibility that he won't be satisfied. Then you just have to let it go. I've found good s#x helps, too. Sou Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 :iagree: I understand wanting to make him gloriously happy - that's what I strive for, too. However, the extremes here make me think of underlying issues that really have nothing to do with gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 My husband does role playing games and said this was the best site for interesting dice. He says to look at the Dwarven Metal, Dwarven Stones and Extraordinary Dwarven Stones. http://www.crystalcaste.com/ Good Luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 Personalized License plate... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted November 2, 2008 Share Posted November 2, 2008 A TiVO? A really nice lap desk for when he's using his laptop? I saw a really cool one somewhere...Levenger? Gift certificate for massage(s)? Wendi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balancing Posted November 2, 2008 Share Posted November 2, 2008 One more idea. Wireless Surround Sound Headphones. This is the kind of thing most folks may not think they will find useful. But, I know four households that love and use these with the TV, all for different reasons. One because the baby is sleeping. Another because the kids are loud. Another because they don't want the kids to hear the news. Another because they are hard of hearing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 If it's not too late, I had one more thought. It's the personalized Monopoly game: Make Your Own Opoly. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 What's he gettin' this year? :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Can you get him something he didn't know existed? I found a vinyl and cassette to MP3 ripper for my partner. I'm sure he thought he needed a geek to do that for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 How old is your dh? My husband, who is almost 40, has now found this weird fascination with Ernest P. Warrell movies (Jim Varney). As much as I hate to even think of "Ernest Goes to Camp," it made my husband as happy as a school boy. Any movies that your dh loves or talks about having watched as a young person that he may not be able to own on DVD? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I haven't read the 8 pages of posts. Is he into tools? This is what my dh wants: http://www.amazon.com/Dremel-3956-02-MultiPro-Variable-Accessories/dp/B00006JSPB/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=hi&qid=1228869382&sr=8-1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenn in Mo Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 My husband insists all men like flashlights. He gets one every Christmas. Big, little, and everything in between. They eventually retire to the emergency storm kit when he finds a new favorite. His current fave is an LED keychain light. Travel coffee mug - stainless steel with a leather cover.....this was a favorite gift a couple years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenn in Mo Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 If only he liked beer . . . How about root beer? ginger ale? cream soda? My husband is wanting a root beer kit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 He got a new do-it-all remote when he got the new TV. He doesn't get any catalogues. His only hobbies are gaming (computer and with the every-other-week group), watching TV and occasionally building model rockets with our son. He already has the software he uses for the computer gaming and has bought himself the neccesary books for the in-person sessions. He and our son buy rocket supplies regularly. See? Impossible. Go to the Hobby & Game store. Tell the guys there what games your dh plays and what his hobbies are. Tell them you want to surprise him with the latest and greatest thing(s) that would interest him. Then go to the ATM, take cash out, and pay for it. Wrap the gift(s) immediately. Hide the receipt in a place he'll never look. You're making me so thankful dh told me he wanted a new coat this year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 You're making me so thankful dh told me he wanted a new coat this year. Mine actually asked for socks and underwear. OK DUDE. You asked for it! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Have you tried asking his friends what he would like? One year I took dh's fishing buddy to the sporting goods store and he helped me pick out a new rod/reel and accessories that dh would like or need in the upcoming season. I also bought him a new licence. Dh was happy with his gift. Can you call one of his gaming buddies and ask for suggestions? How about furniture for gaming? A new chair? Take him shopping for one and let him pick out a few that he likes. Then go back and buy one to surprise him with. It sounds like he likes collectibles. Are there original art works of the online characters he likes? How about something vintage from his childhood? An Atari? Candy from the years he was in elementary school. T-shirts with vintage logos that connect to his past. Does he ever reminisce about the good old days? Music from his high school years can be fun to dig up. How about renting a cool car for a day and taking it for a cruise? Or a race track lesson? Did he ever mention wanting to try kayaking, rock wall, or zip-lines? Google adult activities in your area and you may find something. Even if he isn't an everyday outdoorsy type person, he may like a one time thing. Does he only like gaming? Has that all he has ever liked to do? What did you do on dates? What did he do before gaming? Dh is just as hard, I have bought him some really good gifts but they just sat around and never got used. That is why I started reaching out to friends. This year I bought him a very nice jacket. He is hard to fit, and I have to special order because of his size so I know he will appreciate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 (edited) I got my dh noise canceling head phones. He travels quite a bit and with the boys now teens and have their own taste in music and tv shows add in a 3 year old baby girl who loves to tell stories and sing and hum when she plays...it can get noisey in our house. They range from $45 to over $100 Thought of one more thing a Walletbe wallet....it's practicle http://www.walletbe.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=W&Category_Code=MEN Edited December 10, 2008 by lynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gratefulmother Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I'll tell you what I am getting my husband this year to see if anything sparks an idea. Pair of pants, imported Belgian beer, Coleman camp stove, wood carrier to carry wood in to the fireplace from outside, subscription to a magazine. HTH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
74Heaven Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Hi Jenny, he does sound difficult to buy for and this may be a stupid idea - but my dh loves his favorite team's apparel and hats etc etc (and I *totally* don't get this) so I was wondering if you dh might want some apparel or whatever with your dtr's college logo on it? Or your annual vacation spot? Something for his car? (My dh also loves his car logo - go figure.) Or something "nicer" then he'd get himself, i.e. a nice dress watch if he wears a sports model - or a sports model watch if he only has more of a jewelry-type watch? How about "date night" gift certificates, i.e. $50 restaurant gift card and a coupon for a back rub or whatever ;) after? i asked for last year and got several $25 gift certificates to area restaurants - it has made date night more regular and very affordable for us - like we are dining for half-price I guess when we want to go out. All my ideas seem to lame to post. maybe they will help someone else. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 My dh is hard, but I paint him a t-shirt every Christmas and b'day. I used to paint a lot years ago- nowadays, this is the only painting I do all year, but its fun and he wears them. I just do a simple picture of something on a white t-shirt. For Fathers day this year though, for the first time ever in our marriage (normaly I dont get him anything!) he sked me for a particular shaver, and I was happy to oblige. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Jenny, You didn't respond to the person who suggested the science museum gift shop. That sounded like a cool idea for your dh. What did you think of that idea? Or how about Brookstone? They have gadget-y stuff there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Jenny, Also, someone suggested that Make Magazine subscription. What did you think of that? The subscription along with a gift to unwrap. (Or get the 1st issue and wrap it, if there's still time.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 My suggestions We are getting dh a remote car starter this year. He will be able to warm the car up without having to go out into the cold. He also likes to get certificates from the local car wash place for detailing or a hand wash and wax for his car. My dh would love to get a set of "love coupons" from me. They could be traded in for various "services" (be imaginative here). I have to give him this gift when the kids aren't around of course! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted December 11, 2008 Author Share Posted December 11, 2008 Jenny, You didn't respond to the person who suggested the science museum gift shop. That sounded like a cool idea for your dh. What did you think of that idea? Or how about Brookstone? They have gadget-y stuff there. Jenny, Also, someone suggested that Make Magazine subscription. What did you think of that? The subscription along with a gift to unwrap. (Or get the 1st issue and wrap it, if there's still time.) I guess the challenge I'm having with these ideas is that I've kind of been there and done that and/or that it just boils down to spending his money on something he could perfectly well get for himself if he cared to do so. Honestly, he just doesn't need (or seemingly want) any more techy doo-dads. He's got them sitting in closets virtually untouched. (Literally, there are a few in the garage that have never come out of their boxes.) And he's seen Make magazine, but isn't really the tinkering sort. Mainly, he goes to work, sits in his recliner playing World of Warcraft and watching TV, plays an occasional game with one of the kids, reads a magazine now and then, and plays a superhero-themed RPG with a small group maybe once or twice a month. Two or three times a year, he participates in a poker tournament that is a fund-raiser for a local theatre. He does not play poker any other time. He has no interest in sports or cars or beer or any other typical "guy" things. As a family, our primary activities are watching movies and going to theatrical events (which he enjoys, but are not really "him" things). Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted December 11, 2008 Author Share Posted December 11, 2008 All my ideas seem to lame to post. maybe they will help someone else.Lisa Not lame at all! I appreciate the suggestions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted December 11, 2008 Author Share Posted December 11, 2008 Can you call one of his gaming buddies and ask for suggestions? Well, they aren't really "buddies." His gaming group consists of one guy he works with and several other folks he doesn't know outside of gaming. I do know that he already owns the primary books they use for this game. And, this is a very part-time and kind of tenuous thing. They are supposed to get together every two weeks, but often have to cancel for one reason or another and don't average more than once a month. How about furniture for gaming? A new chair? For the online stuff? Well, he went out and bought himself a recliner a few months ago and seems very happy with it. It sounds like he likes collectibles. Are there original art works of the online characters he likes? I've bought a lot of collectibles over the years, but we don't even display most of what we now own. We moved into this house almost two years ago and have never bothered to unpack those boxes. Also, I truly think there is a limit to how much Muppet paraphanalia a single person needs. How about something vintage from his childhood? An Atari? Candy from the years he was in elementary school. T-shirts with vintage logos that connect to his past. Does he ever reminisce about the good old days? Music from his high school years can be fun to dig up. He never owned an Atari or a gaming system of any kind as a kid. He's not particularly into food, and I've never heard him mention any candies or anything like that about which he is nostalgic. (And we've known each other since we were 11, so I think I'd remember.) He already has a large collection of logo t-shirts. He's never been terribly into music, but if he wants a CD, he owns it. How about renting a cool car for a day and taking it for a cruise? Or a race track lesson? Did he ever mention wanting to try kayaking, rock wall, or zip-lines? He has a bad back (due to an injury from a number of years ago) and dislikes being in a car even for the 11-mile drive to work. Nothing physically demanding is going to be of interest. Does he only like gaming? Has that all he has ever liked to do? What did you do on dates? What did he do before gaming? Yep, that's pretty much it. He's been a gamer since junior high and has not had any other hobbies I can remember. We never really "dated," since we've known each other more or less forever. But when we were younger, we used to mainly go to movies, hang out with friends and play RPGs. He does do some model rocketry with our son, but that's really for the kiddo, not him. He plays occasional board and card games with the kids or the family, but it's rare that we can find one that we all enjoy. And we already have a huge (and I do mean huge) collection of games that gathers dust in a closet. He used to read more than he does now, but even that was always a luke-warm thing. Dh is just as hard, I have bought him some really good gifts but they just sat around and never got used. That is why I started reaching out to friends. This year I bought him a very nice jacket. He is hard to fit, and I have to special order because of his size so I know he will appreciate it. My husband disapproves of clothing for Christmas. Or any "practical" gifts. The one exception that was a hit was the year I bought him a really nice trench coat from Lands End. However, we now live in Florida where coats (and even jackets) are unnecessary. Plus, the other one is still in good shape for the rare occasions when we travel and he pulls it out of the closet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 Then it's time to ask him what sort of things he expects for Christmas. We've covered just about everything you can cover and he wouldn't want any of it. Tell him you don't necessarily want an exact list (since he likes the surprise) but that you've done everything you can think of already. Give him a list of everything you've bought for him in the past, and a list of everything you've thought of for this year and why it won't work. Ask him what it is you're missing. Maybe he needs to admit that there's nothing left out there to wow him with. Comes with getting older! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawneinfl Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 How 'bout tickets to a movie or concert or something. Create an "event" and give him a basket with creative go-alongs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted December 16, 2008 Author Share Posted December 16, 2008 Here's what I've got going so far: New robe - I bought a really nice, cozy, soft robe and plan to embellish it with a Muppet fabric applique Charging station - It's one of those little sheves that has places to plug in various electronic devices and a drawer for odds and ends. I got a nice one from Office Max that has enough spaces for his work phone, his personal phone and the iPod. Microwavable heating pad - I've got supplies (although I'm a bit pressed for time) to make one of those heating pads you fill with rice. I plan to make the cover out of the same Muppet fabric I'm using on the robe. Photo books - This is a bit of a cop-out, since all I did was order duplicates of the books I made for the kids (which he knows I made), but I decided he'd love to have them available for bragging at work and so on. There's one for each of the two kids, documenting their assorted performance experiences from the time they started until more less now. (I had to leave out the current Nutcracker, because it hadn't opened by the time I had to order the books.) I also have one truly silly item that I found at Ten Thousand Villages. It's a carved wooden head intended to be used as a stand for one's glasses. It may go in the stocking, since I have nothing else for that yet except some of his favorite Godiva chocolate (dark chocolate with raspberry). All of these are fine, but I still wish I had a real "wow." I realize I'm just plain out of luck and out of time, probably, and I'm trying to make peace with it, but I still feel upset and sad. Anyway, thanks again to all of you for your help. If nothing else, you helped me dredge up some compassion for myself in coping with my failure to get this right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenn in Mo Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 I'm glad you found stuff! I forgot about those docking stations! I bought one for my parents, but my husband saw it and claimed it! He stole my parents' Christmas present! lol! Now, it's time to start planning for next year. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in St Louis Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 How about a gift certificate for a massage? I saw you said he has a bad back - my hubby does too, and I got him a massage card one time with a note that said "Nothing Says 'I Love You' Like Paying Someone Else to Rub Your Back!" He roared with laughter! AND loved the massage. I doubt he would have gone otherwise. I know lots of back problems are tricky, but if you call around (or even call a chiropractor for a reccommend) you can find one that is reasonable that will be soothing and not "mess with" his back. :) I know there is a place here (seems nationwide" called Massage Envy that charges $40 for the first visit. Not bad! Good luck! Melissa in St Louis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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