Is this rude to ask?

[frogger]

I just remembered a little chitchat that happened long ago, when I was visiting my hometown. This occurred while at a checkout counter.

 

Hi Mrs. A! How ya doin?

Oh good, how's school?

Oh fine, how are your daughters?

Well ___ just found out she's pregnant out of wedlock ....

Me: [obviously not paying attention, just going through the motions] That's nice. Well bye!

 

A few seconds later I realized what had actually been said, and that I'd just said it's nice that her daughter had an unplanned pregnancy. (This was decades ago, when you didn't tell moms that was nice.)

 

Not sure what this has to do with the OP, but yeah, random chitchat ... it's part of the culture.

I remember answering a "How are you?" by answering "Fine, how are you?" and getting an entire soap opera during the entire checkout (I had a full cart of groceries). 15-20 minutes later (the talking slowed him down) I was able to say, "I'm very sorry. I hope things start looking up." And I meant it. It was all I could say. It's not like I knew him from Adam or if he caused all his own problems or if he had just really been misused. If his venting helped him feel better so be it but I was sure surprised. But I DID ask him and he answered honestly, I can only assume. Unless it was a social experiment to see how I'd react.

 

Edited for strange typos.

Edited June 1, 2017 by frogger

[Tanaqui]

Too many people these days seem to be looking for something to be offended by.

 

For example, some people are highly offended by the suggestion that they should avoid asking a few specific conversational gambits with strangers.

 

[VaKim]

For example, some people are highly offended by the suggestion that they should avoid asking a few specific conversational gambits with strangers.

And some people are highly offended by the very idea that not everybody thinks the same as they do or agrees with them. We could go on forever. I choose not to. 

[Tanaqui]

And some people are highly offended by the very idea that not everybody thinks the same as they do or agrees with them. We could go on forever. I choose not to. 

 

You're talking about yourself, right? You're the person on this thread who was so upset at the mere thought of thinking before you speak that you had to use hyperbole and exclamation points! to talk about how bad! it! was!

[Scarlett]

I was hoping that by asking the question (and participating in the thread) that people actually wanted to know why some people found it rude.  People have outlined what phrasing is rude and why.  And the context in which it is rude.  But from the amount of defending going on and apparent lack of understanding of context, I think that perhaps no one is listening.  (Other than the people who already knew the answer.) 

 

 

I listened.  I heard you say your husband gets pressed by people for where he is 'really from'.  Yes, that is rude.  No I wouldn't do that.

[Scarlett]

For example, some people are highly offended by the suggestion that they should avoid asking a few specific conversational gambits with strangers.

 

 

Not offended.  Disagreeing with what is generally considered rude is not the same thing as being offended by the suggestions.

[wintermom]

That's why this thread is probably educational. I am mighty curious about people's heritage as well on occasion, but I bite my tongue knowing that people who enjoy talking about their heritage bring it up all by themselves pretty quickly anyway, exactly because I know the question can get old. In light of this thread, perhaps more people will ask "how do you like those burgers?" (please, only when burgers are actually present :D) next time they see someone who's ethnicity they can't place and are curious to learn more about... and if they're lucky, that person will start talking about their heritage too. :)

 

:iagree:   Exactly. It's totally normal to be curious and interested and friendly and genuine and all that. Just realize that if you noticed something obvious, then it's because it's obvious. Maybe it just isn't necessary to point out the obvious. There are more subtle and tactful ways to interact with people, and still have friendly conversations. 

 

 

And if you are really, really interested in a particular culture or language, then do something concrete about it in a more appropriate location and time than the grocery store. Museums, cultural societies, cultural events, etc. are wonderful for learning more about people in a setting where sharing is expected and encouraged.

[HS Mom in NC]

You could say "I'm not interested in talking to you."  You could excuse yourself.  Wear shirts with controversial slogans so people won't approach you.

Perfectly acceptable. 

 

I once asked a mom at our homeschool PE group how she was doing.  We had a history of asking each other that and listening to the answers sympathetically. She said matter of factly, "I don't want to talk." My response was, "I completely understand.  I'll give you some space." and put my hand on her shoulder briefly as I stood up to walk away.   She ended up separating and divorcing in the weeks and months that followed, but I had no idea what was going on at the time.

 

I suppose there are people who might be upset by such a response and decide it's rude, but I think they're dead wrong.  No one is ever under obligation to have a conversation at any given time and saying so directly is perfectly fine. No explanation is needed. There's no legitimate reason to be offended in that situation. Anyone who has reached adulthood should be able to immediately imagine a half a dozen scenarios that would explain it and be emotionally mature enough to not need their suspicions confirmed.  People have their reasons that they don't need to explain unless they want to.

[Scarlett]

Perfectly acceptable. 

 

I once asked a mom at our homeschool PE group how she was doing.  We had a history of asking each other that and listening to the answers sympathetically. She said matter of factly, "I don't want to talk." My response was, "I completely understand.  I'll give you some space." and put my hand on her shoulder briefly as I stood up to walk away.   She ended up separating and divorcing in the weeks and months that followed, but I had no idea what was going on at the time.

 

I suppose there are people who might be upset by such a response and decide it's rude, but I think they're dead wrong.  No one is ever under obligation to have a conversation at any given time and saying so directly is perfectly fine. No explanation is needed. There's no legitimate reason to be offended in that situation. Anyone who has reached adulthood should be able to immediately imagine a half a dozen scenarios that would explain it and be emotionally mature enough to not need their suspicions confirmed.  People have their reasons that they don't need to explain unless they want to.

 

 

Yep.  This.

[heartlikealion]

My observation of some people that don't want to talk is they wear ear buds... maybe not even listening to anything lol.

[Tangerine]

My observation of some people that don't want to talk is they wear ear buds... maybe not even listening to anything lol.

Some folks don't care about that either. http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/08/30/_how_to_talk_to_a_woman_who_is_wearing_headphones_might_be_the_most_wrong.html

 

ETA:  Fixed the link

Edited June 2, 2017 by Tangerine

[heartlikealion]

Some folks don't care about that either. http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/08/30/_how_to_talk_to_a_woman_who_is_wearing_headphones_might_be_the_most_wrong.html

 

ETA:  Fixed the link

 

Oh I wasn't saying it was always going to work lol. Just that since someone upthread asked about ways to indicate you don't want to talk that it was one thing you could try. It actually drove me nuts that a coworker used to wear them during work. We had to communicate and sometimes people would walk past her and ask me because I was more approachable.

 

[Zinnia]

I can get what is said, I can agree to never ask anyone this question again/drop it from my conversation, and I can still lament a bit that I really never had any ill will, and I am sorry that it offended people. Because all that is true.

 

I like having chit-chat. It's lovely, and it passes the time, and I would rather have it than not. But offend someone? No. Never what I want to do.

Edited June 3, 2017 by Zinnia

[zaichiki]

Well maybe I spend too much time around immigrants who are NOT marginalized but are rather very respected, successful members of the community.  My bad.

My dh is an immigrant who often "passes" for native-born citizen due to his amazing ability to mimic/learn accents and because he looks to be of European descent. When people do ask where he is from (usually related in conversation because, as I said, he does not appear "different" to most people), he NEVER states the country he was born and raised in. He ALWAYS states the city he first lived in when they moved to the US. 

 

Why? I used to wonder about this.  

 

It's because of all the judgment and comments that have come his way when people *have* discovered he is an immigrant from this particular country. If he wants to avoid the judgment, opinions, and barrage of questions from strangers, he doesn't share. He gets to "pass." Someone who looks or sounds "different" doesn't have this privilege. And they are always a target for people's comments/questions.

 

Anyway, it's a learned behavior... avoiding the comments... not liking the questions... interpreting them as rude... because they're not always positive and they don't always feel good.

[zaichiki]

I was chatting with another mom at my youngest dd's violin group class. It took a bit of effort because it seemed clear she felt uncomfortable around me and I was trying to give her the message that I was not going to be overwhelming. Anyway, this mom here was Asian and had the unmistakable accent of someone who is not a native English speaker. I figured she was an immigrant from an Asian country, but I was NOT going to ask her "where are you from?" The topic naturally started to come around in a way that I could share that I had a good friend who was from Taiwan (because something my friend had shared with me fit well into the topic of conversation). Immediately, this mom relaxed and smiled and happily shared that she and her husband were also Taiwanese. She talked a little about her family's summer visits "back home." Our girls hit it off. They were both wearing the same shade of blue blouses that day and had the same haircut.This mom took a picture of them with their heads together, "twinning."

 

Ever since that conversation, this mom has made eye contact and started conversations with me. We have exchanged contact info and become Facebook friends. Clearly, she *feels* that I will not grill her or judge her. Obviously she feels comfortable with me now. I think it's because I did *not* ask her where she was from. Instead, I *showed* her that I knew we were equals. I shared a little about myself and my own experiences and let her take the lead about what to share about herself. Differences don't always matter. It's the similarities that are important.

 

 

[Tammi K]

When we lived in Australia people would hear our accent and ask if we were from Canada.  (No - East coast USA) 

 

We were told that Canadians were more bothered by the suggestion that they were American than Americans were being marked as Canadian. 

 

Not sure if it's true or not, but I thought it was an interesting application of psychology. :thumbup1:

[Arcadia]

It took a bit of effort because it seemed clear she felt uncomfortable around me and I was trying to give her the message that I was not going to be overwhelming. Anyway, this mom here was Asian and had the unmistakable accent of someone who is not a native English speaker.

People have said nasty stuff thinking that Chinese immigrants do not understand English and so won't understand what they say. People have also made disparaging remarks about accents to my neighbors who speak perfect English but it is accented. It is not surprising that your Taiwanese friend is wary.

 

ETA:

I have also heard all kinds of not so nice jokes about Caucasian from Chinese people and my many Caucasian friends actually understand some Chinese or have a Chinese spouse to ask. So rude behavior is also done by my race.

Edited June 2, 2017 by Arcadia

[HS Mom in NC]

We were told that Canadians were more bothered by the suggestion that they were American than Americans were being marked as Canadian. 

 

 

On our way down to Havasupai Falls (a famous waterfall inside the Grand Canyon) my brother and I helped a hiker whose tread came off his boot by giving him some duct tape.  We chatted and asked, because we're from PHX, "Where are you from?" He said Canada and asked us where we were from.  He had no French Canadian accent, just the typical Canadian one, so I assumed he likely grew up in central or Western Canada. As the conversation went on he was visibly bothered when my brother referred to Canada generically as "back East." That's a regional and generational oddity. Older Arizonans who were born and raised here sometimes refer to everywhere north of the Mexican border and east of Texas as "back East."  I've often wondered if he was offended at what he could've interpreted as being mistaken for French Canadian or if he just thought we suffered from a lack of basic geographic knowledge.  I considered explaining it at the time, but the conversation was moving on in a friendly way so I didn't want to interrupt. He was on his way out and he was ready to be done, so I didn't want to delay him.

[Jean in Newcastle]

People have said nasty stuff thinking that Chinese immigrants do not understand English and so won't understand what they say. People have also made disparaging remarks about accents to my neighbors who speak perfect English but it is accented. It is not surprising that your Taiwanese friend is wary.

 

ETA:

I have also heard all kinds of not so nice jokes about Caucasian from Chinese people and my many Caucasian friends actually understand some Chinese or have a Chinese spouse to ask. So rude behavior is also done by my race.

 

Yeah, I've heard American jokes in Japanese.  I've also heard lots of Japanese jokes in English. 

[theelfqueen]

I was at the Grand Canyon (North Rim) a couple of weeks ago.... there was a man there who seemed confounded by the signs that had just been posted indicating that the toilets were closed for cleaning and to use different toilets near the nearby visitor center. I noticed him looking confused. I approached him and offered, in English, to show him to the other bathrooms since I was headed that way. I asked him where he was visiting from. He gave me a look and said in a very clear Russian accent "Where do you think?" So I answered him in Russian (there's a trick I don't get to pull out very often) and again asked him where he was from. It wasn't until I told him where I lived in Russia as a Student that I got more details out of him. I found his reticence sort of odd. Most Russians are happy to tell Russian-speaking Americans their whole life story in my experience, lol.

 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[happi duck]

In a situation where everyone is traveling, like a resort, then WAYF? makes sense.

 

During a normal day, imo, WAYF? becomes rude if someone *never* asks it of people that look like themselves, kwim?

 

It ends up coming off as "you don't look like me so I'm assuming you're not from here".

 

Just my two cents!

[SKL]

When we lived in Australia people would hear our accent and ask if we were from Canada.  (No - East coast USA) 

 

We were told that Canadians were more bothered by the suggestion that they were American than Americans were being marked as Canadian. 

 

Not sure if it's true or not, but I thought it was an interesting application of psychology. :thumbup1:

 

Yeah, I have never lived outside my state, but people used to ask if I was Canadian.  I guess it was my "hick accent" acquired in my rural town.  Yeah, come to think of it, I have been asked the WAYF question when I was younger, and no I didn't mind it.

 

I don't know if it's just me or if it's American or regional culture (individualism), but being noticed as "different" was more of a positive than a negative to me.  As a college student, I used to wear a button that said "why be normal."  I'm sure someone will respond that that's because I have the privilege of being mostly "normal" looking.  But I have immigrant friends who are just as happy to talk about their unique background.  I mean I was always taught that people love talking about themselves - it's most people's favorite subject.  Yes of course you have to be sensible about how you start the conversation, but completely avoiding all "personal" topics doesn't seem right.

 

Edited June 2, 2017 by SKL

[Word Nerd]

When we lived in Australia people would hear our accent and ask if we were from Canada. (No - East coast USA)

 

We were told that Canadians were more bothered by the suggestion that they were American than Americans were being marked as Canadian.

 

Not sure if it's true or not, but I thought it was an interesting application of psychology. :thumbup1:

I was told the same when I lived in Oz.

[SKL]

ETA:

I have also heard all kinds of not so nice jokes about Caucasian from Chinese people and my many Caucasian friends actually understand some Chinese or have a Chinese spouse to ask. So rude behavior is also done by my race.

 

Yes, when I learned some Hindi I was able to respond to some things the Indian male students were saying - not that they didn't also say things in English, to me, about how stupid and immoral Americans are.

 

I was gonna say in response to an earlier post, there are lots of things people say about Americans that aren't so pleasant.  But I know the response would be "but that's different because Americans have the power."  Well on an individual basis, when you're talking about young students from poor backgrounds being insulted and marginalized by rich people from wherever, the balance of power / privilege doesn't feel that way.

 

Edited June 2, 2017 by SKL

[wintermom]

I wonder what they'll think in Europe, on my trip this summer, if I respond to every "where are you from" with "that's too personal! Are you only asking me that because of my looks / accent?!"  Should be a fun social experiment ....

 

Most European don't ask. It's either pretty obvious by the group's language, flags on bags, or living in hotels and youth hostels. If you are staying with friends and family, it might come up. 

[wintermom]

Yeah, I have never lived outside my state, but people used to ask if I was Canadian.  I guess it was my "hick accent" acquired in my rural town.  Yeah, come to think of it, I have been asked the WAYF question when I was younger, and no I didn't mind it.

 

 

More likely a lack of any distinct American accent. A lot of Canadians are employed in American news/TV because of their neutral accent. 

[wintermom]

When we lived in Australia people would hear our accent and ask if we were from Canada.  (No - East coast USA) 

 

We were told that Canadians were more bothered by the suggestion that they were American than Americans were being marked as Canadian. 

 

Not sure if it's true or not, but I thought it was an interesting application of psychology. :thumbup1:

 

Canadians tend to have a more neutral accent. East coast Canadians (e.g., Newfoundland, PEI) may have a broader accent, but they lose it pretty quickly when away from home. 

 

I think the discomfort for many Canadians being asked if they are American when far from home is partially from the "big brother/little brother" concept. Canadians are a tiny population right beside a much larger one. We have struggled to have an international identity in our own right for decades. We share a very similar language with the US, similar culture, similar geography, and yet we are distinct and different. 

 

Countries who have similar "little brother" complexes are New Zealand (to Australia) and Norway (to Sweden). I'm sure that there are a ton more. Think of all those countries in Africa, South American, Asia who live very close to large, very well-known countries.

Edited June 2, 2017 by wintermom

[SporkUK]

On the other hand, it's also an opportunity to help an inexperienced person learn a little more about the world.  Maybe if  sharing were more the norm, there would be fewer ignorant people needing to be educated.

 

I get that some days we're not in the mood.  For that or any other conversation.  But in my experience, people are usually happy to chat when they are otherwise idle.  There are well-known strategies to avoid it when they aren't.  :)

I wonder what they'll think in Europe, on my trip this summer, if I respond to every "where are you from" with "that's too personal! Are you only asking me that because of my looks / accent?!"  Should be a fun social experiment ....

 

I don't think anyone who has said they find it personal/rude/concerning has said that is how they respond. I deflect. I'll say the city I currently live in and for most nice people it stops there and we move on to more interesting things. If pressed or they're surprised I'll say how long I've lived there. If they remark on my accent not sounding like I'm from there, I'll say I get that a lot, I moved around a lot as a kid, and try to move the conversation on. So a person needs to really be asking before I'll give up and say "I'm originally from the States" which isn't something I like talking about for a long list of reasons. There is practically nothing you can learn about who I am now from that other than it's a place I do not want to return and have not been in many years and the floodgate of anti-US comments/jokes it usually opens does not help improve my desire to talk about it. 

 

I get some, maybe even most people are trying to be friendly, but I think more than people here may think are not. Even in my great diverse city, I am wary. I live where the EDL is active and they crash events regularly - especially events where people are actively trying to share their culture. 3 out of 4 of my councilors are UKIP, I get people who knock on my door to gleefully tell me how if elected they'll kick immigrants out or make it harder for immigrants to be employed, I avoid certain parts of my city because of previous xenophobic experiences including threats of violence against me and my kids. When I say that question makes me wary, this is all what's going on in my head. Chip on my shoulder or whatever, I'd be pretty foolish to ignore the cause and effect that opening my mouth has led to others turning hateful or violent. 

 

Yeah, it would be great if I could live as an open book. I go to and organize events where ice breaker questions are common (of which 'where are you from' is a rather weak one - rarely gets conversations going, just awkward monologues. Current and upcoming stuff usually works better) and I am known for my tendency to babble when I feel like. I support the Human LIbrary and it efforts to make these type of personal conversations more available; however, I have long learned that is not a safe option in public spaces with random people without others as protection. We live in an age where just talking about ourselves online gets people doxxed and threats and hurt, let alone what happens to people in person. And really, other people are not our textbooks. If people wanted to be educated on something, we have the world of knowledge at our fingertips where people who choose to open themselves up write about such things and should be supported in doing so. People who want to learn use those. Expected random stranger to open up to educate and make the world a better place, as if that is some people's jobs just by existing in public space seems an unfair risky burden and the idea that just by saying where I was born or why I immigrated is going to actually teach anyone anything seems unrealistic. 

 

I feel safer walking alone the 20 minutes from the city centre to my house alone in the middle of the night as a slow disabled woman going past pubs and industrial estates than answering the question "where are from?" from someone I don't know. Sure, like the walk, very little is likely to happen, but if something does happen, I am the one who is going to get hurt and for what - someone's curiosity? for something I have absolutely no control over? I literally wear buttons on my bag and patches on my wallet with more interesting topic options than that and if someone wants to be interested in, like, or dislike me, I'd far rather it was because of something I cared about. 

[Bluegoat]

Perfectly acceptable. 

 

I once asked a mom at our homeschool PE group how she was doing.  We had a history of asking each other that and listening to the answers sympathetically. She said matter of factly, "I don't want to talk." My response was, "I completely understand.  I'll give you some space." and put my hand on her shoulder briefly as I stood up to walk away.   She ended up separating and divorcing in the weeks and months that followed, but I had no idea what was going on at the time.

 

I suppose there are people who might be upset by such a response and decide it's rude, but I think they're dead wrong.  No one is ever under obligation to have a conversation at any given time and saying so directly is perfectly fine. No explanation is needed. There's no legitimate reason to be offended in that situation. Anyone who has reached adulthood should be able to immediately imagine a half a dozen scenarios that would explain it and be emotionally mature enough to not need their suspicions confirmed.  People have their reasons that they don't need to explain unless they want to.

 

I think it can actually be an entirely legitimate thing to say.  It can be tricky to say it in a way that it doesn't seem snarky.  If it was me, I might make an excuse, being too tired or having a headach or something, just to avoid giving that impression.  It isn't required, but it could make it simpler.

 

Which I think touches on something which in light of this I think is important - not everyone is great at conversation or small talk.  Some people are not creative, and don't realize that obvious statements may be tedious to others.  Some people phrase things really badly.  Some aren't very sensitive to language, or body language.

 

If people are going to have friendly casual social interactions, they will include all kinds of people, and they aren't going to be second-guessing what they say all the time.

[Bluegoat]

On our way down to Havasupai Falls (a famous waterfall inside the Grand Canyon) my brother and I helped a hiker whose tread came off his boot by giving him some duct tape.  We chatted and asked, because we're from PHX, "Where are you from?" He said Canada and asked us where we were from.  He had no French Canadian accent, just the typical Canadian one, so I assumed he likely grew up in central or Western Canada. As the conversation went on he was visibly bothered when my brother referred to Canada generically as "back East." That's a regional and generational oddity. Older Arizonans who were born and raised here sometimes refer to everywhere north of the Mexican border and east of Texas as "back East."  I've often wondered if he was offended at what he could've interpreted as being mistaken for French Canadian or if he just thought we suffered from a lack of basic geographic knowledge.  I considered explaining it at the time, but the conversation was moving on in a friendly way so I didn't want to interrupt. He was on his way out and he was ready to be done, so I didn't want to delay him.

 

I'm not sure what his issue was, but there are quite a few more Canadian accents than French or western Canada.  It's also been a bit of an annoyance to the Atlantic Provinces over the years that many Americans seem to think Canada ends at Quebec on the eastern end.

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

 

Which I think touches on something which in light of this I think is important - not everyone is great at conversation or small talk.  Some people are not creative, and don't realize that obvious statements may be tedious to others.  Some people phrase things really badly.  Some aren't very sensitive to language, or body language.

 

If people are going to have friendly casual social interactions, they will include all kinds of people, and they aren't going to be second-guessing what they say all the time.

 

In real life, that is how we live.  We try to be pleasant and realize that sometimes people word things poorly.  But inside, we cringe at some of the things said.  And we think it is rude.  And we might share it on a message board as a rude thing that someone has said.  If it is just poorly worded, people will back off if you use deflection.  But the people who don't - who keep pushing - can go beyond socially awkward and a touch rude to blatantly rude and even racist.  Sometimes we call people out on that.  Sometimes we don't - because as SportUK said, racist people can be dangerous and confronting them can be like lighting a fuse.

 

Dh and I have been followed by skinheads before.  They were screaming insults and abuse - not at dh - but at me for being married to a "mud person" and for "betraying our race".  You can bet, we didn't stop to confront them.  We walked as quickly as we could to a more crowded area (we were in a park).  Fortunately they broke off following us then but if not, we would have tried to locate a police station or something because it was scary as hell.  Now these people didn't even stop to ask dh where he was from - they said he was from somewhere else - where he should go back to. 

 

I made a mistake once.  I asked a woman on the street to tell ds (who was about six) and I about her service dog.  She declined and kept walking.  I was 100% in the wrong.  As SportUK said, it was wrong of me to expect her to educate me on things that I could have found out otherwise.  I apologized profusely and left her alone.

 

It's the same with people from other countries.  I have learned a lot from friends who came from other countries but it has all been volunteered by them.  It is not as a result of me asking them to educate me.  When I get to know people for who they are and not some kind of notches on my immigrant scorecard, I've had people invite me to their houses to share with me their homemade chai and samosas, or their tea ceremony or their lunar New Year's celebration. 

[wathe]

You could say "I'm not interested in talking to you."  You could excuse yourself.  Wear shirts with controversian slogans so people won't approach you.

 

Though this doesn't work when there is an imbalance of power in the relationship.  Which can be subtle, and not obvious the the person asking.  Cashier/customer, healthcare provider/patient, amongst co-workers etc.  And even when there doesn't seem to be an imbalance of power, the POC may perceive one the asker doesn't (older or male person asking, or simply being out in public in an enviromnent where the POC has had to deal with blatant racism before).  It may not feel safe for POC to answer this way in the very same situation that might feel safe for someone who is white.

Edited June 2, 2017 by wathe

[wintermom]

I'm not sure what his issue was, but there are quite a few more Canadian accents than French or western Canada.  It's also been a bit of an annoyance to the Atlantic Provinces over the years that many Americans seem to think Canada ends at Quebec on the eastern end.

 

Yes, I don't think they do, except for PEI, but they don't know where PEI actually is. An American relative of my dh bought a cottage in PEI for the Toronto weekend tourists. We Canadians just laughed and laughed. Most visitors have no concept for how big our country is.  :laugh: