My toddler boy has long hair--the horror!!

[AnnE-girl]

Kind of a vent. We saw DH's family this weekend, who we only see a few times a year. All four of his siblings and his parents made comments about my youngest ds needing a haircut. He's 17 months and it's just past his collar. I'm not sure why it bothers them all so much. He's a baby, and he's adorable. Seriously. And we had a long, busy weekend, and I didn't get any exercise so I'm extra crabby.

[SparklyUnicorn]

People are weird.  I guess that gives them something to talk about.

 

 

[KungFuPanda]

But, what if people think he's a girl! (Gasp!!!) Don't you know that being mistaken for a girl is a horrible insult?!?!

[Spryte]

But, what if people think he's a girl! (Gasp!!!) Don't you know that being mistaken for a girl is a horrible insult?!?!

Yup.

 

As the parent of an often long-haired boy who has heard all the criticisms ... screw 'em. :)

 

No really. Your son is adorable, you said it yourself.

 

Take some extra pics of your cutie, share them with people who love him (or here, if you want some serious ooohing and aaaahing), grab a coffee or your drink of choice, make time for a work out, and let the insecurities of those other people roll off your back.

[ktgrok]

Hair just past the collar! He's obviously a hippie with no work ethic or morals.  :rolleyes:

 

Seriously, they are delusional. He's a baby! And both my husbands and one of my sons, and my father, have had long hair at some point in their life. 

[ikslo]

My 10 year old is growing his hair out.  So what? 

 

Men used to wear their hair long all the time.  It was a symbol of status, no?  Your son is destined to be someone important.

[gardenmom5]

it was when someone said dudeling looked like fabian that pushed me over the edge.  he was not quite 18mos, and had beautiful curls.

three of my kids have gorgeous ringlets if their hair is long enough.   two of them are boys. . . .

1dd has waves, and 2ds is like me.  totally straight hair.  though going gray has evidently put some wave into my hair.  when I was younger - it wouldn't even hold a perm.

[Cinder]

My mom has pics of my brother as a toddler with shoulder-length hair. His curls were gorgeous and she recently told me it broke her heart to cut them off because that was the only time he had curly hair and she thought it was so cute. (She didn't say why his hair was cut; I'm guessing my dad insisted.)

 

 

But, what if people think he's a girl! (Gasp!!!) Don't you know that being mistaken for a girl is a horrible insult?!?!

 

Well people kept mistaking ds1 for a girl for months after he was born. I don't know if it's because he was born with a full head of hair or if, as one woman put it, "He's too pretty to be a boy."  :blink:

[AnnE-girl]

Have to share: ds had ringlets, adorable ringlets, blonde adorable ringlets. We cut his hair at 2yo, and yes, I saved a few. (Just for the record, he now has VERY short dark hair that sticks straight up. If he doesn't keep it short for the AF, he has an afro) Years later, dh and I were looking through some photos and he asked who the girl was--that's your SON, dear!

LOL. When my oldest was little, he had beautiful blond curls to go with his blue eyes and long eyelashes (My formerly ridiculously long lashes disappeared after I had him; I think he stole them :-) ). I had a woman from church tell me he was too pretty to be a boy. Ok? I just don't get it.

 

Thanks for letting me vent about this. It just annoys me that so many people feel it's their place to criticize a baby's appearance.

[Carrie12345]

I miss my boys' long hair.  They all chose "standard" hair cuts.  I always figured one of the three would stick with long locks, but no.

 

People are stupid.

[Outdoorsy Type]

I bet he looks adorable. â¤ï¸

[trulycrabby]

I didn't want to cut ds23's hair when he was a toddler, so he had long hair. Every time he went to see his grandparents, his bangs would be cut a little shorter- (they thought I wouldn't notice if he had bangs); it got to be a sort of running joke as I waited and waited to cut his hair to see how long they would continue (a year). My mother finally had a talk with me saying that my baby will still be my baby but please let's cut his hair before she died (she is still alive 22 years later). :)

 

It was a fun day when we took him for his first haircut at about age three. I didn't even have to be sedated or anything.

Edited May 1, 2017 by trulycrabby

[Paige]

My DS is 16 and his hair is typically somewhere around shoulder length, give a lot or take a few inches. We've heard it all, and they can all KMA! DS is happy, he is confident, and he likes his hair and that's all that matters. His hair hasn't been above his chin since he was about 6-7. 

 

He could definitely learn to style and care for it better, but on my list of things to fight about, the hair is at the very bottom of my list. It's amazing to me how people today still equate long hair on men with some kind of sin. I think people in my family may actually prefer that he be on drugs, because at least they could hush it up. 

 

Enjoy your beautiful baby and his beautiful hair for as long as it makes him happy!

[MercyA]

That kind of thing drives me bonkers. I hope you told them with a big smile, "He's a baby, he's adorable, and I love it." I know that's hard to do in the moment, though--and I usually think of the right thing to say too late!

 

Regardless, you're the mom, they are not, give it all the attention it's worth.

[Guest]

Just today my oldest said to a man that thought he was a girl, "I'm a boy actually, but that's ok. My brother and I are often mistaken for girls. I don't mind: there's nothing wrong with girls."

 

The man said ohhhh well you're about to sprout a beard, talking like that, young man!

[Paige]

Just today my oldest said to a man that thought he was a girl, "I'm a boy actually, but that's ok. My brother and I are often mistaken for girls. I don't mind: there's nothing wrong with girls."

 

The man said ohhhh well you're about to sprout a beard, talking like that, young man!

 

I love that! I think long hair has actually given my DS a lot of confidence or maybe it is just that it takes someone with confidence to wear it. He doesn't care if people think he's a girl because he knows who he is and doesn't see girls as bad. He says he never wants to cut his hair because he can quickly see who cares more about appearances and who really cares to know him. He says it's a time saver.  :001_smile:

[happypamama]

Meh. My toddlerboys have all had longer, curly hair. They're blond and look bald for a long time, so then I hate to cut the curls. 3yo has lovely curls. He's also a very pretty baby, blue-eyed and fair. Eventually he needs a haircut, but he's so cute with the long hair.

 

My 12yo has beautiful long wavy hair. Girls would love to have his hair. My 8yo's hair is longer but not as long as his big brother's, and it's in a more distinctly boy style because it's very straight. They dress very stereotypically boy so they don't get mistaken for girls.

[Guest]

My preteen has waist (almost butt) length hair and handles it the same way OKBud's kids do.

 

The relatives have toned down a bit but they were vicious with my first son. "You have to cut off part of yourself to fit in." just isn't something I want my toddlers to internalize.

 

Haircuts are voluntary in our family. You are the mom so you get to make the rules in your own. Some people see hair as nothing but a fashion statement and other people see it as a body part. Outsiders are entitled to their own opinions about aesthetics and beauty, but just because somebody happens to like piercings and tattoos doesn't give them the right to stick needles in other people against their will.

 

I always wanted to tell my father (but never had the nerve) how much better I thought he would look if he would give up his sleazy used car salesman comb-over but dye the long part blue and dread it instead of cutting it off when he called ds1 "goldilocks" and threatened to assault him with sharp pointy objects.

Edited May 1, 2017 by Guest

[Guest]

They dress very stereotypically boy so they don't get mistaken for girls.

So do mine. It's only older ppl who presumably have sight issues that think they are girls.

 

Or maybe there's so much mud all over them at any given time that it's really hard to tell what they are--> presumably human and from there it's a fifty fifty shot.

 

OP my in-laws bug me about their hair too. It's super aggrivating!! Like, is this the part of the visit where I tell you what specifically I don't like about your appearance, now?? Since you did it my freaking kids...

Edited May 1, 2017 by OKBud

[Arcadia]

My MIL would actually cut the hair and my FIL would actually ask my MIL to cut kids and grandkids hair. My husband prefers our kids to have longer hair so he argues with his parents. Just before my in-laws visited this year, my kids asked me to cut their hair because they don't want MIL to cut it. My kids are also the only grandkids on my husband's side with curls so the only hairstyle my MIL can cut decently for my kids is crew cut which my kids hate.

 

There is a reason we have an ocean separating us and in-laws, and my husband isn't keen to fly back to visit. Besides my in-laws often nag my husband to put our kids back in school when they call him through WhatsApp.

[73349]

If you can get a toddler to stay still long enough to comb it, more power to you! People are silly.

[ktgrok]

I'm totally stealing the "oh, is this the part of the visit where we criticize each other's appearance?" 

 

Heck, I'm adapting it to fit all situations. "Oh, is this the part of the visit where we critique each other's life choices/comment on personal topics/intrude into things that aren't our business?"

[hopskipjump]

Kind of a vent. We saw DH's family this weekend, who we only see a few times a year. All four of his siblings and his parents made comments about my youngest ds needing a haircut. He's 17 months and it's just past his collar. I'm not sure why it bothers them all so much. He's a baby, and he's adorable. Seriously. And we had a long, busy weekend, and I didn't get any exercise so I'm extra crabby.

 

UGH. People. :glare:

 

At our house, it was the opposite. DS had a head full of beautiful curls. I let it grow out because (a) I'm hair-lazy and a huge advocate for never getting a haircut unless your really, really have to (lol) and (b) he was adorable with those cherub curls.

 

However, once my sleep-deprived brain realized that I was spending MORE TIME fixing HIS curly-rat's-nest-baby-hair than that of his two older sisters combined... I had his hair cut short. O.M.G. You'd have thought that I had tattooed his face or something from the extremely negative reactions I received - not even from friends and family - but from the librarians, the ladies at a store I frequented, etc, etc. It was redonkulous and I'm still a little peeved about it, tbh. :glare:

 

(His new haircut was cute. So :001_tt2:  to those people. grrrrr...)

 

[gaillardia]

I couldn't bear to do it until my boys were 3, then maybe once a year until 5 or 6. lol

Strangely, I see my grandson being raised the same way. He turned 3 and got an actual hair cut instead of just the bangs, but it is still "long" and HE'S SO CUTE. No doubt he's all boy though. I wish I could post a photo of him.

I never wanted to put an eye out on one of them, trying to cut their hair at less than 3. 

Edited May 1, 2017 by Gaillardia

[Scarlett]

I had the opposite problem: a girl with very little hair until she was well past 2. She (and I) couldn't stand all those stupid headband bows. People would constantly comment on how short her hair was. What did they want me to do about it? Put a Rapunzel wig on her every day? Rogaine?

 

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

 

 

:lol:

[RootAnn]

I'm not a fan of long-haired males ever. (The boy I had a crush on from 6th grade until Junior year of high school grew his hair over the collar & I found myself over him.) However, I'm also a fan of relatives & strangers keeping their opinions to themselves. So, I keep my mouth shut around the parents when a certain nephew who is long past toddlerhood still has Edward Scissorhands hair. Cuz, really, it is no business of mine!

 

I'd politely tell your DH's family to stuff it.

[Miss Marple]

I miss my boys' long hair.  They all chose "standard" hair cuts.  I always figured one of the three would stick with long locks, but no.

 

People are stupid.

I, too, have a son with lovely curly brown hair - when it's long.  He's the only one of the 4 who could pull off a handsome pony tail or a man-bun.  He's also my birkenstock wearer.  The other 3 are more mainstream.  Son #3 will grow his hair out mostly because he's too cheap or busy to go get it cut.  So it gets cut about once or twice a year.  He looks handsome either way, but  I've always had a soft spot for a man with a well groomed pony tail :)

[DawnM]

My 19 year old SON has hair half way down his back.

 

If people don't like it, they don't have to be a part of our lives.  Seriously.  I am just done with the stupid stuff.

[Raifta]

I'm always amazed that people cannot figure out something inoffensive to say.  DS, 9, has had one hair cut in his life, although you wouldn't ever be able to tell at this point as it was probably 5 years ago.  He's always getting called a girl but this does not phase him as it has happened pretty much 3 times a week for his whole life.

 

But my favourite story is that DH had very long hair when we got married.  My mother has a picture of us on our wedding day displayed where she scanned it into Photoshop and cropped out his long hair.  I take no end of secret evil delight every time we visit and DS still has long hair cause I can see she's just dying to ask if she can cut it (she trained as a hairstylist so has some knowledge of the trade).

[Terabith]

You could always say you're a fan of the Orthodox Jewish policy of not cutting a boy's hair until the age of three.

[gaillardia]

You could always say you're a fan of the Orthodox Jewish policy of not cutting a boy's hair until the age of three.

:huh: huh? Didn't know.

[RootAnn]

But my favourite story is that DH had very long hair when we got married.  My mother has a picture of us on our wedding day displayed where she scanned it into Photoshop and cropped out his long hair.  I take no end of secret evil delight every time we visit and DS still has long hair cause I can see she's just dying to ask if she can cut it (she trained as a hairstylist so has some knowledge of the trade).

:lol: This is hilarious! If my mom knew how to use Photoshop, this is absolutely what she would do! (And cut out one ex-SIL from all family pictures.) She DEMANDED that DH shave his mustache before our wedding (and wear his military uniform). He did neither.  :thumbup: