S/O: Do you think relaxed hser's don't take their dc's education seriously?

[Guest Katia]

In reading Jessica's thread about homeschooling as a job, I was surprised to read several posters that mentioned they were not relaxed homeschoolers and so took their children's education seriously.

 

This idea just really surprised me. I am a relaxed homeschooler. I've homeschooled for 15 years now. One dc has his BA (got a lot of academic scholarships in college) with his dream job, another dc is a freshman in college (was accepted to all five colleges she applied to) and I still have a high schooler at home.

 

Believe me, I took my children's education very, very seriously. I had a goal in mind and we worked towards that goal. Each child was different and each day was different, so we just didn't stress. As long as we were learning and moving ahead I was 'ok' with it. If we needed a day off; we took it. If we didn't finish the text at the end of the year, we just picked it back up when we started again, or moved on, whichever was most appropriate.

 

But.....to think that because I am relaxed others think I'm not serious about my children's education?

 

Wow. Just: Wow.

 

I am wavering between finding this line of thinking offensive or just plain elitist. Or uneducated. Or mis-informed. Or.....prejudiced.

 

Do others of you REALLY think this way? Believe that if someone homeschools differently than you do that they are not serious about their children's education?

[Crissy]

I have encountered that line of thinking in the past.

 

Because I don't keep strict schedules and binders full of written goals, both short- and long-term, and dedicate weeks each year to studying curricula, I'm not serious enough about educating my boys.

 

The fact is our results speak for themselves and I don't feel the need to justify my methods to other homeschoolers.

My main goal is to create a life-long desire to learn in both of my boys, and we're well on our way to achieving that. :)

[OnTheBrink]

I don't equate "relaxed" with "lazy" or "bare minimum." Some kids learn better with more structure; some with less. I consider my job to be home schooling, but we're relaxed about it. When I was homeschooling my son, we were more structured--he just needed that.

[chaik76]

Nope, I think all methods of educating are valid (okay...at least the ones I've heard about). I've seen well-educated unschoolers, relaxed homeschoolers, traditional homeschoolers, cyber-homeschoolers, neoclassical homeschoolers. I haven't met any classical homeschoolers (per the original classical emphasis) in real life, but I bet a lot of them are doing great too!

 

I've also met parents whose priority isn't the education of their children...even if they homeschool. But they were all varieties of homeschoolers, too.

[Rosy]

I think everyone has different ways of approaching HS'ing and some are more formal than others. There's a difference between being a relaxed HS'er and genuinely not caring or not being willing to put in the work to give your kids a quality education. And I would imagine that's what was meant in that thread.

 

Personally, I take a relaxed approach to HS'ing--we do school every day, but our schedule isn't as rigorous as some and I'm content to let my 1st grader be behind grade level in some subjects to allow him to be emotionally ready for formal schooling. It might be a choice some would make, but it doesn't make me less serious about his (or my other kids') education.

[Tess in the Burbs]

I think it comes down to personality. Type A people are going to make lists, schedules and be very organized about every detail of the kids' education. If you aren't type A then you are going to be more relaxed and you can't compare apples to oranges. It doesn't make you less concerned about your child's education, it just makes you less manic about it ;)

 

*I am type A so I can't imagine not having a schedule to see/check off weekly, but I wish I could just do it day to day without the rigidity. I see your way as a dream...but not something I could do daily b/c it would freak me out to be that relaxed. but it doesn't mean your way is wrong or my way is right. It is how it works for each of us and our personality*

Edited October 21, 2008 by tess in the burbs
spelling

[PariSarah]

. . . don't seem to take their child(ren)'s education seriously, yes. I don't the think two necessarily go hand-in-hand, but I have seen them go together in the same person.

 

I don't recall ever having met a more structured homeschooler who took their child's education casually, but I don't think such a thing is impossible.

 

I would feel comfortable saying that someone who didn't take her child(ren)'s education seriously could cover it up or excuse herself more easily by saying "Oh, I'm just a relaxed homeschooler, that's all!" than by saying "We're very structured and dedicated around here." So I'm guessing that "relaxed" and uncaring go together more often than "intense" and uncaring.

 

But no, I don't think that all "relaxed" homeschoolers are bad.

[Deeke]

I'm a type A and I consider myself to be a relaxed, eclectic, wanna-be-unschoolers with a classsical twist. One of my main goals now is to see learning in everything we do. The value if play is being greatly underestimated along with children having free time, not scheduled up to their eyeballs with extra-curriucluar activities.

[rafiki]

.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

I think some slack homeschoolers try to use "relaxed homeschooler" as an excuse. I think the OP got the difference spot on- working toward a goal and continuously making progress toward that goal. I think some parents choose philosophies which work best for the parent, not the child. I know some total unschoolers with kids who exceed grade level expectations, and some people who use Abeka or other boxed curriculum and have kids who are a year or more behind (I'm talking typical, not special needs kids).

[rafiki]

.

[Tracey in TX]

In reading Jessica's thread about homeschooling as a job, I was surprised to read several posters that mentioned they were not relaxed homeschoolers and so took their children's education seriously.

 

This idea just really surprised me. I am a relaxed homeschooler. I've homeschooled for 15 years now. One dc has his BA (got a lot of academic scholarships in college) with his dream job, another dc is a freshman in college (was accepted to all five colleges she applied to) and I still have a high schooler at home.

 

Believe me, I took my children's education very, very seriously. I had a goal in mind and we worked towards that goal. Each child was different and each day was different, so we just didn't stress. As long as we were learning and moving ahead I was 'ok' with it. If we needed a day off; we took it. If we didn't finish the text at the end of the year, we just picked it back up when we started again, or moved on, whichever was most appropriate.

 

But.....to think that because I am relaxed others think I'm not serious about my children's education?

 

Wow. Just: Wow.

 

I am wavering between finding this line of thinking offensive or just plain elitist. Or uneducated. Or mis-informed. Or.....prejudiced.

 

Do others of you REALLY think this way? Believe that if someone homeschools differently than you do that they are not serious about their children's education?

Good and fair question, Katia. It might appear as if judgment is being placed on relaxed or unstressed homeschool parents. I can only speak for my own viewpoint, but relaxed and unstressed is a positive quality. It's most important for the children to be learning and forging ahead. Relaxed doesn't mean aimless or lazy. Lazy homeschool parents aren't doing their children justice and taking education seriously. Having a lazy day does not equate to lazy teaching, either. To know one's self and one's children is immensely important. An occasional mental health day can be a blessing. Four or five mental health days per week isn't so great.

[dhudson]

I am a very structured home schooler, I like a schedule, feel better with lists and goals but I've also learned that if we are not enjoying what we are doing and aren't teaching our kids to love to learn than we are failing.

 

I think it's a matter of extremes - if you are so relaxed that your children aren't progressing then you are not doing your job but if you are so structured that your kids hate school and all you are doing is drilling facts without life experiences then you are also failing.

 

I think we all have our bents, as do our kids, and we need to understand and learn from each other. Take our job seriously, yes, take ourselves seriously, No.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Amen. I am a relaxed classical homeschooler with a closet unschooling heart. I do take their education seriously. I also have an autoimmune disorder that makes the highly structured homeschooling impossible. I do try not to create a stressful environment because I don't want my children to lose their joy in learning, nor do I want to deplete my resources so much that I am forced to send them to school. Pacing is important. It does not mean that my standards are low, quite the opposite. But I will sacrifice my schedule and standards in order to make life joyful for my family. Okay, so grammar isn't joyful for my kids, but we try to have other joyful experiences. Do I make my kids write up every science experience, dot all the i's and cross all the t's? No. We discuss what they learned, we what might have gone wrong, what other questions we have. We do occasionally write them up, but not as rigidly as some.

 

While some would gasp at what our day looks like and how "lazy" it looks, the proof is in the pudding. My kids are doing very well. I do have some anxiety about my high schooler, but I am outsourcing some classes to help him adjust to a less relaxed style. In 2 years, he will be taking much of his load at the jr. college.

 

Another issue is perfectionism. I had to relax because ds and I are both perfectionists. I can be debillitating... paralyzing. We have to fight against that.

[Erica in PA]

 

I don't recall ever having met a more structured homeschooler who took their child's education casually, but I don't think such a thing is impossible.

 

.

 

I have seen this, and I think it can be a concern as well... what about people who have a strict schedule for their schoolwork, but whose main priority is merely to *finish their books* every year? It's not about learning or becoming a well-rounded person, or even being well-prepared for higher education, it's just about getting the work done every day, so that you can be done with school as early in May as possible. I know people who are very structured, and yet give very little thought to actually educating their children.

 

It seems to me that some relaxed homeschoolers might do a bit more educating than some who are merely out to complete the years' work as quickly as possible. Relaxed homeschoolers might not finish their books every year, but often there is a lot more learning that goes on outside the textbooks.

 

As for me, in the past I'd say I've been fairly laid-back, but this year I have become more structured because my oldest son is approaching high school. I've never thought that finishing materials is a good measure of how much a student is learning.

 

Erica

[Rosy]

I don't recall ever having met a more structured homeschooler who took their child's education casually, but I don't think such a thing is impossible.

 

I've met lots of people who were extremely structured as far as getting work done, but it was more about "getting everything done" than actual education, know what I mean? I think having the flexibility to stop and answer questions or taking time to understand a concept is an essential part of education that might be easier for a relaxed homeschooler.

[PariSarah]

I've met lots of people who were extremely structured as far as getting work done, but it was more about "getting everything done" than actual education, know what I mean?

 

. . . it's hard for me to call that "not taking it seriously." I mean, even the teach-to-the-test crowds take the test seriously, KWIM?

 

It's certainly not optimal education, that's for sure.

[nukeswife]

I'm another relaxed homeschooler here, but by that I mean that I don't have rigid schedules, and such. We do our subjects in the order the kids choose each day, and other things that many would not be comfortable with, but I always have a general idea of what needs to be done in order for us to reach our goals. I do take my kids education seriously, after all if I don't and they fail, then it is I that has failed them. This way of schooling has worked well for us as school is fun and enjoyable for my kids, and they scores of their tests I have to turn in at the end of the year are proof enough for me that we're heading in the right direction.

[Rosy]

. . . it's hard for me to call that "not taking it seriously." I mean, even the teach-to-the-test crowds take the test seriously, KWIM?

 

It's certainly not optimal education, that's for sure.

 

I think when the schedule takes priority over the needs of the child, the parent is not taking seriously the mental and emotional development of the child, which is education in my view.

 

I think it's all about balance and what works for each family. :)

[Zelda]

I would say that its more likely that we've all encountered a family that is *truly* not taking it seriously. Not that there is a relaxed and organic approach to learning but one where the teaching parent complains that they are getting nothing done but doesn't really make consistent and concerted attempts to fix it and in the meantime, well, nothing is getting done. Kids are watching television instead of reading and things of that nature.

[Annie Laurie]

I am moving more toward CM/Classical, but unschooled for several years and still LOVE the ideas behind unschooling. I've seen people call unschooling "no schooling" here. I just figure that a lot of people don't really understand unschooling and think it means you do nothing and call it unschooling. Learning doesn't only happen with a book and an instructor, on the instructor's time table.

 

I think what it comes down to is that we are all different and therefore measure learning in different ways. If my kids aren't engaged and I'm just leading them through, I don't really see it as learning.

[hornblower]

I suspect some families just have a much broader definition of education.

 

I get the sense here that education=academics + religion. Is that accurate? Is this what people mean when you say 'education'?

 

For some families, education & child rearing as a whole encompass a lot more. I believe they're just as serious about doing a good job but they define their goals differently.

 

Oh & just because someone mentioned kids sitting around watching TV, it reminded me of this old article on the Natural Child Project site about whether I Love Lucy is educational.

http://www.naturalchild.com/jan_hunt/ilovelucy.html

 

Good, question & good discussion. Thanks for raising it, Katia.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

I get the sense here that education=academics + religion. Is that accurate? Is this what people mean when you say 'education'?

 

We are a churchgoing family, but education, from our homeschool's perspective, does not involve religion- only academics and the arts (the real ones not just the Jedi ones lol).

[Barb_]

So I'm guessing that "relaxed" and uncaring go together more often than "intense" and uncaring.

 

Ah, but I have seen quite a few intense but ineffective homeschooling mamas. Either approach has the potential to backfire.

 

Barb

[Guest Katia]

We are a churchgoing family, but education, from our homeschool's perspective, does not involve religion- only academics and the arts (the real ones not just the Jedi ones lol).

 

I would agree with this definition of education in our homeschool,(academics and the arts) but I add community service to the equation. I think getting kids out and into the larger community is so important to their total over-all development.

[Heather in Neverland]

You would have to define "relaxed" before I could answer.

[Carrie12345]

Eh.

I would probably have to consider myself more of a slacker than relaxed homeschooler. That's not to say my kids aren't being well-educated. I just love any excuse to skip or shorten things, or take a break.

 

On the other hand, I couldn't live without a solid curriculum outline. Unschooling would be a nightmare for me. I'm a list maker who has to check things off. You know, when I get around to it.:D

 

And my kids are brilliant. :D:D:D

[KAR120C]

I think there are very structured homeschoolers who think you can't be serious without structure, and very relaxed homeschoolers who think any structure is distracting from the real education. Basically what I think it comes down to is that it's very VERY hard for any of us to see outside our own experience. Unless you happen to know people for whom a wide range of options has worked, it's easy to believe that only the ones you've witnessed are worthwhile.

 

I'm in the lovely position of being way too structured to appeal to unschoolers, and way too laid back to "really" be taken seriously by the other extreme. There are two whole homeschool groups in our area that I don't feel comfortable in, because I'm judged from one side or the other! But what we do here works really well for us and I've been at it long enough to know it's a good fit. I'm lucky (or maybe the people I spout off to are lucky... LOL) that among my very best friends are homeschoolers way more structured than we are and homeschoolers way less structured, all of whom are serious about their children's education and respectful of each others' choices. It keeps me from making assumptions about those I know less about. ;)

[nukeswife]

I suspect some families just have a much broader definition of education.

 

I get the sense here that education=academics + religion. Is that accurate? Is this what people mean when you say 'education'?

 

For some families, education & child rearing as a whole encompass a lot more. I believe they're just as serious about doing a good job but they define their goals differently.

 

 

 

We part of the crowd where religion has no part in our education. We're not a religious family so for us education=academics+arts, like another poster said.

[Zelda]

I suspect some families just have a much broader definition of education.

 

I get the sense here that education=academics + religion. Is that accurate? Is this what people mean when you say 'education'?

 

For some families, education & child rearing as a whole encompass a lot more. I believe they're just as serious about doing a good job but they define their goals differently.

 

Oh & just because someone mentioned kids sitting around watching TV, it reminded me of this old article on the Natural Child Project site about whether I Love Lucy is educational.

http://www.naturalchild.com/jan_hunt/ilovelucy.html

 

Good, question & good discussion. Thanks for raising it, Katia.

 

I'm another one that has a structured, scheduled day that does not include religion except as it is pertinent from an historical perspective.

[WTMindy]

In reading Jessica's thread about homeschooling as a job, I was surprised to read several posters that mentioned they were not relaxed homeschoolers and so took their children's education seriously.

 

This idea just really surprised me. I am a relaxed homeschooler. I've homeschooled for 15 years now. One dc has his BA (got a lot of academic scholarships in college) with his dream job, another dc is a freshman in college (was accepted to all five colleges she applied to) and I still have a high schooler at home.

 

Believe me, I took my children's education very, very seriously. I had a goal in mind and we worked towards that goal. Each child was different and each day was different, so we just didn't stress. As long as we were learning and moving ahead I was 'ok' with it. If we needed a day off; we took it. If we didn't finish the text at the end of the year, we just picked it back up when we started again, or moved on, whichever was most appropriate.

 

But.....to think that because I am relaxed others think I'm not serious about my children's education?

 

Wow. Just: Wow.

 

I am wavering between finding this line of thinking offensive or just plain elitist. Or uneducated. Or mis-informed. Or.....prejudiced.

 

Do others of you REALLY think this way? Believe that if someone homeschools differently than you do that they are not serious about their children's education?

 

My very humble apolgies for my post. I was one who made that statement and it was flippant and off the cuff and inappropriate. I know that there are relaxed homeschoolers who provide an excellent education for their kids!!!!

 

Let me tell you where my knee-jerk reaction came from. I work in our school district's co-op for homeschoolers and as part of my job I help families with their learning plans and choosing curriculum. I see so MANY families who literally do not do ANYTHING at home. Some of these kids literally play video games and watch TV all day. It is something that makes me angry. I feel that these kids are being denied of an education because the parents choose to not have their kids doing anything. It makes me frustrated when people do not take their homeschooling seriously, but I was wrong when I implied that a relaxed homeschooler doesn't take it seriously.

 

Will you please forgive me?!

Edited October 21, 2008 by WTMindy

[Crissy]

Let me tell you where my knee-jerk reaction came from. I work in our school district's co-op for homeschoolers and as part of my job I help families with their learning plans and choosing curriculum. I see so MANY families who literally do not do ANYTHING at home. Some of these kids literally play video games and watch TV all day. It is something that makes me angry. I feel that these kids are being denied of an education because the parents choose to not have their kids doing anything. It makes me frustrated when people do not take their homeschooling seriously, but I was wrong when I implied that a relaxed homeschooler doesn't take it seriously.

 

 

But we all know that's not relaxed homeschooling, right? That's not schooling at all.

 

Those same people would likely allow their children to refuse to do their homework and not participate in class if they were in a public school.

 

That *is* frustrating.

[WTMindy]

But we all know that's not relaxed homeschooling, right? That's not schooling at all.

 

Those same people would likely allow their children to refuse to do their homework and not participate in class if they were in a public school.

 

That *is* frustrating.

 

True. But, in my earlier post I wrongly lumped them all together. But, oh boy is it frustrating to me!!! Not only do I feel bad for the kids who are missing out on an education, but I get angry that it makes those of us who are giving our kids a good education a bad rap!!

[TravelingChris]

Itend to be more structured than many but less than others. I do know that last year when I was having so many health problems in my family that led to less rigorous schooling, my girls actually scored higher on their tests. I ended up doing more videos, letting them read more, discussing things more, and just living our lives. I really thought they would do very badly on the test. They surprised me. Then I thought about it and what were they doing- reading books about things they found interesting, watching science and geography shows, reading good literature.

 

I knew one mom who was worried about her relaxed style of homeschooling. Her oldest was accepted and enrolled at the Air force Academy. I knew she had a good heart and both parents had a love of learning and reading. (Dad worked in a library along with both of them being missionaries). I also knew other parents who were very rigorous in their style of teaching but the strict regimentation led to rebellion. I have known others where structure fit the family and everyone thrived. I don't think that you can assign the same plan to everyone.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

No time to read all the other replies, but I would say one person's relaxed is another's rigidly structured.

 

I consider us pretty relaxed. My planning for the year is pretty easy, I just figure out basically how much work needs to be done each day for each subject in order to be able to complete it in our school year, whether it is one lesson a day or 20 pages of a book a day. Then I make a simple master list that shows what a week looks like for each child. I leave a little wiggle room so that if we miss a day or even a week, it's no big deal. I don't do grades or much record keeping at all until high school, even then I don't keep very detailed records.

 

I also don't do much at all in the way of crafts, labs, or memory making projects. We read a lot, and I encourage my kids to learn to do most of their work independently. Truth be told, I use quite a few workbook style resources, but they are the best that I could find. :-)

 

Keeping it simple works for me and the kids, but what I do would be considered very rigid to my neighbor two doors down. She loves spontaneity and fun projects. Spontaneity in our homeschooling would stress me out.

 

On the other hand, there is no way I could be anything like the former school teacher down the street who has her kids doing the complete Abeka video program and records every teeny tiny grade for every single paper. That spells burn out to me.

 

I don't labor to make opportunities for fun learning or worry too much about whether my kids will be better educated than their public schooled peers, we just get our daily work done to the best of our ability. By 4'oclock the school books are put away and we go about life. No homework is one the reasons my kids have never asked to go to public school. :-)

[swellmomma]

I swing from one way to the other based on the kids moods etc. I do have very detailed plans for the year ect, but often toss them aside to do other things, such as our current unit study on Halloween (the history of it, crafts, etc). During a unit study we still do MAth and English, but the rest gets put on hold for a while. Then we jump back in and stay very scheduled for a while, then we drop everything and do a fun unit for a while and back and forth we go through our year. We rarely finish everything by the end of the year, so we just pick up where we left off. I have to admit that in our first 2 years hsing things were different, the 1st year we did almost ZERO academics, that year my focus was on character/mental health so to outsiders we looked like terrible hsers but we needed that year to get on track. The 2nd year I had a prem baby the 2nd week of school, so we did school but very little of it, basically only math and english all year, nothing else until after xmas, and even that was minimal. This year our focus has shifted again. I take my kids education seriously but there is more to it than just academics, arts and religion, it includes everything, from learning to cope and manage their disabilities, learning to focus on the family in times of chaos (such as a prem baby), and then add in learning to maintain a household since I can't do it all on my own.

 

I have known those who claim to be unschoolers or relaxed but in reality are no schoolers. I know those who say they are school at home types and have great plans but never implement them. I also know great hsers from both these styles which make me envy the amount they do with their children to educate them.

 

I am a wanna-be of many styles of homeschooling. I am too structured for the unschoolers and unit study hsers, and too relaxed for the classical and school at home bunch, but it works for my family.

[Mama Lynx]

Honestly?

 

I've known relaxed homeschoolers who really did not worry about their kids' education. But their philosophy was based more on unschooling; they believed that it would all work out in the end.

 

I call myself a relaxed homeschooler. However, I do consider homeschooling to be my job, and I do take their education seriously.

 

It all depends.

[Laurie4b]

There are "relaxed homeschoolers" who are very diligent about their children's education. There are others who use the term "relaxed homeschooling" either as a cover for their lack of diligence, or because they have misunderstood and truly believe that it all somehow magically comes together on its own. The latter group often ends up with children who have truly been deprived of an education. This is a terrible loss for the children affected. Additionally, it negatively affects homeschooling in general, often causing people to want more regulation, etc. My guess is that the posters who used the term "relaxed homeschoolers' in a negative way, have known some of these families and feel terrible for the kids.

[angela in ohio]

.I don't recall ever having met a more structured homeschooler who took their child's education casually, but I don't think such a thing is impossible.

.

 

But I've met some who spend so much time structuring that they never get any educating done. :)

[Night Elf]

Do others of you REALLY think this way? Believe that if someone homeschools differently than you do that they are not serious about their children's education?

 

We're an unschooling family. To some people, that's even worse than relaxed homeschooling. I take my children's LIVES seriously. Education is part of their lives so I certainly take it seriously. My DH and I just have a different perspective of education. I can't stop people thinking what they will. I am no longer bothered by people who disagree with me.

[jamnkats]

I would say that its more likely that we've all encountered a family that is *truly* not taking it seriously. Not that there is a relaxed and organic approach to learning but one where the teaching parent complains that they are getting nothing done but doesn't really make consistent and concerted attempts to fix it and in the meantime, well, nothing is getting done. Kids are watching television instead of reading and things of that nature.

 

There are also those who take the development of their children VERY seriously, to the point of constantly evaluating materials and constantly looking to provide academic opportunity, and also see the value of gaming and television play. There are those who would be (and probably are) horrified at my kids' "schedule". I am CONSTANTLY evaluating and re-evaluating and looking for opportunity to expose them to something new and interesting but there is very little book learning and no testing going on in our house.

[8filltheheart]

I consider myself a "relaxed" homeschooler and I also consider homeschooling a full-time job. I consider myself relaxed even though I write out 6-7 weeks worth of daily lesson plans at a time.

 

I would classify myself as relaxed b/c I am a "minimalist" in # of subjects, not worrying about how my kids rank to their peers (only worrying about how they progress according to their abilities), not following anyone else's path other than our self-created one (except for high school), etc. My little ones don't do anything academic until K. We only do the basics until 3rd, and even then, when I look at the lists other people here post that their kids are doing, we do about 1/2 the number.

 

All that said, school is our number 1 daily priority. We don't do outside activities that will interfer with completing school work.

 

I also consider it a full-time job. I don't consider it part of parenting b/c it is a choice. I see it as something I constantly evaluate b/c my children's future successes are dependent on the quality of education they receive. If homeschooling hampers their future possibilities, it is something I need to forego and find a different alternative. (not quite the same options in the parenting realm)

 

I also see it as a job b/c it is of a more serious nature than many of my other responsibilities. If the laundry doesn't get done or the bathrooms don't get cleaned, futures are not impacted. If I don't make dinner every night, my kids are not going to suffer long term consequences if they eat soup and sandwiches. (well, I guess that might be arguable if their diet was replaced by fast food. ;) )

 

My point is simply that education has far more serious consequences than all my other daily responsibilities, aside from mothering. Mothering is encompassed in all my parental interactions, whereas education is a decision that I have made. My children have to rely on my commitment for it to be fulfilled (like an employer expects an employee to complete the job hired to do)

[jamnkats]

My very humble apolgies for my post. I was one who made that statement and it was flippant and off the cuff and inappropriate. I know that there are relaxed homeschoolers who provide an excellent education for their kids!!!!

 

Let me tell you where my knee-jerk reaction came from. I work in our school district's co-op for homeschoolers and as part of my job I help families with their learning plans and choosing curriculum. I see so MANY families who literally do not do ANYTHING at home. Some of these kids literally play video games and watch TV all day. It is something that makes me angry. I feel that these kids are being denied of an education because the parents choose to not have their kids doing anything. It makes me frustrated when people do not take their homeschooling seriously, but I was wrong when I implied that a relaxed homeschooler doesn't take it seriously.

 

Will you please forgive me?!

 

You are free to be angry but unless you spend your time with those kids or the kids are complaining you really cannot judge those homes. I imagine you'd feel the same anger WRT my kids, but I assure you I take their development (because I don't separate education from their development) very seriously.

[Night Elf]

Let me tell you where my knee-jerk reaction came from. I work in our school district's co-op for homeschoolers and as part of my job I help families with their learning plans and choosing curriculum. I see so MANY families who literally do not do ANYTHING at home. Some of these kids literally play video games and watch TV all day. It is something that makes me angry. I feel that these kids are being denied of an education because the parents choose to not have their kids doing anything. It makes me frustrated when people do not take their homeschooling seriously, but I was wrong when I implied that a relaxed homeschooler doesn't take it seriously.

 

Will you please forgive me?!

 

But you're not asking forgiveness from people that don't raise and educate their children the same way as you? :tongue_smilie: I'll share a little something that you can either cogitate on or toss aside: school stuff is not really important in life. I have 12 years of private and public school, and 4 years of college. My DH has 12 years of public school and 6 years of college. We really don't use alot of that so called education in our lives. One can learn to read without being in school. One can comprehend what they read without filling out comprehension worksheets and KWL charts. One can learn math skills as needed. (My dd10 can balance my checkbook but can't solve an algebraic equation.) I could go on and on.

 

We unschool because we believe the traditional educational system is faulty. My kids are not being denied anything. The entire world is open before them. They aren't held back in any fashion. They are free to explore and learn the things they need in their lives. My DH and I see that as true education. Our lifestyle is likely very different from yours. My family and home rock! I wouldn't change a thing because I think it's the healthiest way for my children to grow.

 

Like you, I sometimes wish everyone could feel the way I do. But I sure don't want to feel the way you do and I'm guessing you probably don't want to feel the way I do. Oh well!

[Crissy]

You are free to be angry but unless you spend your time with those kids or the kids are complaining you really cannot judge those homes.

 

Hi Kathy,

Just so you know, Mindy is referring to kids she teaches in a co-op setting. She *is* talking about kids with whom she spends plenty of time, and if I recall correctly, she knows their parents well, too.

[WTMindy]

You are free to be angry but unless you spend your time with those kids or the kids are complaining you really cannot judge those homes. I imagine you'd feel the same anger WRT my kids, but I assure you I take their development (because I don't separate education from their development) very seriously.

 

I do spend time with these kids. I work with them twice a week and I adore the kids. I am not judging the homes at all. The kids are telling me that all they do is play video games all day. These kids (high school) can't do simple math calculations or read for comprehension. They are not involved in their community. That is not relaxed schooling, or unschooling. That is non-schooling.

[WTMindy]

But you're not asking forgiveness from people that don't raise and educate their children the same way as you? :tongue_smilie: I'll share a little something that you can either cogitate on or toss aside: school stuff is not really important in life. I have 12 years of private and public school, and 4 years of college. My DH has 12 years of public school and 6 years of college. We really don't use alot of that so called education in our lives. One can learn to read without being in school. One can comprehend what they read without filling out comprehension worksheets and KWL charts. One can learn math skills as needed. (My dd10 can balance my checkbook but can't solve an algebraic equation.) I could go on and on.

 

We unschool because we believe the traditional educational system is faulty. My kids are not being denied anything. The entire world is open before them. They aren't held back in any fashion. They are free to explore and learn the things they need in their lives. My DH and I see that as true education. Our lifestyle is likely very different from yours. My family and home rock! I wouldn't change a thing because I think it's the healthiest way for my children to grow.

 

Like you, I sometimes wish everyone could feel the way I do. But I sure don't want to feel the way you do and I'm guessing you probably don't want to feel the way I do. Oh well!

 

I was asking forgiveness of the OP because I offended her. Believe me when I say I am not a judgemental person, despite how I might be coming across in this thread. :001_smile: I assure you that you are not the type of person I am talking about. You said that the entire world is open before your kids. That is not true with the kids I am talking about. They have very few doors open to them because no one is opening any doors. I don't believe every kid should go to college. I'm all about a child exploring the things that make them excited. Part of my job is to help get these kids thinking about what they want. But, it makes me sad that these kids have no ideas. They get to the age where they are making life decisions and they are limited in their choices by their lack of preparation. I'm not just talking academic preparation. They are not prepared with work ethic, or processing skills, or other things that they will need to take the next steps toward their future.

 

I could not personally do unschooling. It just isn't in me. But, I think unschooling is great for those who do it. I really don't expect everyone to agree with my way of doing things. It works for us. But, I still maintain that there is a difference between un-schooling and no-schooling.

[Peela]

Why would anyone not want to be relaxed when homeschooling? Do we want to be stressed and pass that on to our kids? Whether one's children work from sun up to sun down, or only half days or less, our society is waaaaay tooooo stressssssed. We buy into the "more is better" syndrome- more money, more busyness, more education, more stuff. And most people caught in that are living for the future their whole lives. They cant enjoy the day, the moment, and be happy.

I didnt used to think of myself as a relaxed homeschooler but nowadays I think I am, and I realise I am twisting the meaning here. By both standards I am relaxed- we have a rich and varied life which includes schoolwork but is by no means limited to it. And, we are pretty relaxed in our lifestyle and cruise through our days.

I dont care what other people think any more. I think Classical education does foster elitism in some people and I don't really care about that any more either. Many peoples' priorities are different to mine.

[WTMindy]

Why would anyone not want to be relaxed when homeschooling? Do we want to be stressed and pass that on to our kids? Whether one's children work from sun up to sun down, or only half days or less, our society is waaaaay tooooo stressssssed. We buy into the "more is better" syndrome- more money, more busyness, more education, more stuff. And most people caught in that are living for the future their whole lives. They cant enjoy the day, the moment, and be happy.

I didnt used to think of myself as a relaxed homeschooler but nowadays I think I am, and I realise I am twisting the meaning here. By both standards I am relaxed- we have a rich and varied life which includes schoolwork but is by no means limited to it. And, we are pretty relaxed in our lifestyle and cruise through our days.

I dont care what other people think any more. I think Classical education does foster elitism in some people and I don't really care about that any more either. Many peoples' priorities are different to mine.

Good points, Peela! I am very relaxed within our fairly structured schedule. :001_smile: Does that make sense?

[Scarlett]

But.....to think that because I am relaxed others think I'm not serious about my children's education?

 

Wow. Just: Wow.

 

I am wavering between finding this line of thinking offensive or just plain elitist. Or uneducated. Or mis-informed. Or.....prejudiced.

 

Do others of you REALLY think this way? Believe that if someone homeschools differently than you do that they are not serious about their children's education?

 

Oh! No. I don't think that. I think relaxed or not relaxed is much more about the parent's personality than their dedication to their children's education. I'm not relaxed about anything. :tongue_smilie:

 

If I dont' schedule and crack the whip (on myself mostly) I feel like I've lost control of my world.