Carrie12345 Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Relative and I found a kitten under the hood of my car. We yanked a bunch of ticks out of him, took him to a vet clinic, and set him up in a crate. I have a cat (I don't like) and a dog (barely bigger than the kitten) and I DON'T want a kitten. My husband does and my kids do, but they mostly understand that I don't, because I'm the one who has to nag and/or take care of the current pets, and I'm SO over it. Relative wants the cat and her (small) kids want the cat. They are expected to stay at my house for another month, give or take. I don't want this cat for a month, give or take! I am so tired of trying to do good things and somehow looking like a jerk for it. :confused1: :cursing: :crying: I suppose this isn't a real question, but a much needed vent (hopefully) within parameters that will protect me from being poked at with the Hive stick. I get my family/life back soon, and I'm just hoping I don't have a psychotic break before then!!! 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I'm cold hearted about that sort of thing. Or a realist if you prefer. It would be the same here: I'd ultimately be responsible. I'd say no. In my experience, I do feel guilty after making a decision that in some way impacts on other people, but at the same time, every time I think about it, the guilt would be accompanied by a flood of relief. I've learned to focus on the latter feeling. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Thankfully my allergies would make it an "absolutely not!" decision. But it sounds like you are stuck with it for a month. Are you worried the relatives will back out and your family will be attached and you won't be able to get rid of it at all? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I understand your feelings. I am snuggling with my foster failure dog right now. I did not allow a dog for the longest time because I knew I would be the one who would end up taking care of it. I would probably take the kitten if I knew for sure it would be gone in a month or if it would end up in a shelter. You have every right not to feel put upon to take the kitten if you feel strongly about it and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty for not wanting to take on a kitten. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 This is how we got our dachshund when I was a kid. His previous owner was a coworker of my mom's and the coworker committed suicide and the dog was passed around the office while they tried to find him a home. Mom was the last to take him, and it was just supposed to be for a few weeks. He also wasn't supposed to have any medical concerns (except, oops, Epilepsy) and he was supposed to get along with cats (he got along by chasing them and barking). He was in every way an obnoxious little fart of a dog, and we had him for 15 more years. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 (that is not to say we didn't love him) 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 (edited) This is the type of situation in which I would point out that there are many kittens available at shelters, and my relatives can get one from there after they move out of my house. Nearly every kid I've ever met wants every kitten or puppy they see (and so do some adults). I'd explain that I don't want the kitten, they can get one when they move out, and impulsive pet acquisitions are not a good idea in these circumstances, especially. Then I'd look up no-kill shelters and Google "cat rescue [the name of your city]" and try to find a place for the kitten. I would take the kitten to them. I would not be overly worried about how my relatives view this because when they move out and are in a position to add a kitten to their family, the kids will be so happy they will forget all about this kitten. If that doesn't work, you can ask friends if they want a kitten. This worked once for me, but only because it was a young kitten. You may be stuck with it, but it won't be for lack of trying to get rid of it. You don't have to tell anyone this plan until you make those phone calls since it may not work. No sense in getting everyone riled up for nothing. Your biggest problem will be finding a place for the kitten because shelters and rescues are overcrowded with cats. You might get lucky, though. I have had to do this a few times with cats and kittens people dump in my yard (rural area). We can't keep them because two of my kids are allergic to cats and I have a terrier. Even if that weren't true, I still don't want another pet. Edited October 30, 2016 by RoughCollie 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Why would you need to take care of the kitten if the relative wants him? Have her/him take care of the kitten while they are in your house. Tell them if they want it now, they take care of it! 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 GET RID OF THE CAT!!!! Do not get guilted into keeping that cat. The family is in no position to take on an animal, and you should not be forced to house it in the meantime. I would have an unholy meltdown if my family tried to stick me with an animal while dealing with all that you're dealing with. Don't wait, that'll make it worse. Bring it to the shelter today. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 That sucks. :grouphug: Hope the relatives and the cat get out soon. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El... Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I was going to say, uh, yeah, you are stuck, if your own family wanted the cat. However, this does seem to be a bit much! There are a LOT of nice cats in the world, and you should not have to foster this one until relatives are ready to take care of it plus themselves. Are they vacationing, or living with you temporarily, until they find their own place? I mean, what if their new place doesn't allow pets? Then what? What if they can't afford a high pet deposit? Are you going to put up a pet deposit just to move the cat out of your house? All this would put me over the edge, too, and I like my cat (mostly). Feel free to rage here as needed. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 (edited) No poking from me. You have been stretched to the limit by your desire to help people who needed it. Frankly someone (such as your DH) needs to wake up, realize you're doing all the petcare work, and understand that to impose more on you (even in th form of a cute kitten) is patently unfair. The mother of the family staying with you needs to realize that her sole focus at this time needs to be getting herself and her children on their feet. She doesn't need the responsibility and expense of keeping a pet. (When she's established, that's the time to do it.) You're not being a jerk, and you have NOTHING to feel guilty about. There are, however, some adults in your household who need a smack upside the head. Sorry you're not getting the support you need. Edited October 30, 2016 by Reluctant Homeschooler 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 What will you do with the cat if you don't keep it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 (edited) Yeah, I commiserate. Our Chi Pin is a horrible, nasty jerk of an idiot who must be caged whenever anyone else besides household members steps foot in the house. She counters her awful personality by being untrainable (professionals have tried) and having the world's smallest bladder and largest colon of any small dog I have ever seen. She has a great gig now, but she was skeletal when we adopted, and the pound said she had been severely abused. So, this broken girl has a safe home for the rest of her life, but I tell people not to adopt pets unless they really, really want to, because caring for them is a long-term responsibility. If you don't want the cat, then don't keep it. The kitten is actually the responsibility of the family that wants her, so if they cannot care for her, then don't be roped into doing their job. I am actually a little mad at them for trying to manipulate you into doing their work. :grouphug: Edited October 30, 2016 by trulycrabby 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Relative and I found a kitten under the hood of my car. We yanked a bunch of ticks out of him, took him to a vet clinic, and set him up in a crate. I have a cat (I don't like) and a dog (barely bigger than the kitten) and I DON'T want a kitten. My husband does and my kids do, but they mostly understand that I don't, because I'm the one who has to nag and/or take care of the current pets, and I'm SO over it. Relative wants the cat and her (small) kids want the cat. They are expected to stay at my house for another month, give or take. I don't want this cat for a month, give or take! I am so tired of trying to do good things and somehow looking like a jerk for it. :confused1: :cursing: :crying: I suppose this isn't a real question, but a much needed vent (hopefully) within parameters that will protect me from being poked at with the Hive stick. I get my family/life back soon, and I'm just hoping I don't have a psychotic break before then!!! if the cat is a kitten and there is a chance the family staying with you won't take it, then give it away. People love kittens so it should go quickly. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 (edited) If you already have a cat, then you're not really adding to your workload - taking care of two cats is pretty similar to taking care of one cat*. However, if you're the one who mostly takes care of the animals, then you get the veto. You've already done more than is reasonable to expect (and I wouldn't give a solo kitten to a person with small children anyway). Find a no-kill shelter or ask your vet if they know anybody who is in the market for a kitten, preferably somebody who already has a cat. * You must understand that I absolutely love cats, and would have more than I do if I could afford them! Don't let yourself be swayed by my argument unless you're legitimately on the fence, which it doesn't sound like you are. Edited October 30, 2016 by Tanaqui Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 If you already have a cat, then you're not really adding to your workload - taking care of two cats is pretty similar to taking care of one cat*. However, if you're the one who mostly takes care of the animals, then you get the veto. You've already done more than is reasonable to expect (and I wouldn't give a solo kitten to a person with small children anyway). Find a no-kill shelter or ask your vet if they know anybody who is in the market for a kitten, preferably somebody who already has a cat. * You must understand that I absolutely love cats, and would have more than I do if I could afford them! Don't let yourself be swayed by my argument unless you're legitimately on the fence, which it doesn't sound like you are. the caveat to this is that if your cat is say 7 years old, or 4 years old, and you don't like having one, you are counting down the years until that cat dies. A kitten restarts the clock. I know this from experience. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Don't ask me. I'm a hopeless animal lover and my husband and children are even worse. In your situation, we would be the owners of a new kitten. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Get rid of the cat, no guilt needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 We are a pet-free house and for a long time my FIL wouldn't visit because I wouldn't let him bring his horribly spoiled dog. Not my problem. Your house, your rules. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 I love my animals to bits but I totally understand. My dd wants every animal under the sun and is reasonable about caring for them but she is seven and I'm ultimately responsible. It takes quite a chunk of the morning keeping everyone fed and watered and they make a lot of mess if they don't get enough attention. It's hard to go away. Etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 I'd take the kitten to the nearest no-kill shelter the very first time you had to care for it in any way. Kittens can be replaced. If family staying with you isn't in a position to not stay with you, why would it be a good decision to saddle them with a pet they cannot afford? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Your family will be mad for five minutes. YOU will be inconvenienced for 10-15 years. The cat should go. You 'may' have an out of the cst goes when the relative moves out, but odds are they'll move to a pet-free rental and beg you to keep it. In a month's time your own kds would likely be over the new kitten experience.still, you'd have to put your foot down right now and say the cat is art of the relative's family and leaves when they do ne way or the other. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Get rid of the cat today. Kittens are easy to get rid of but in a month when your relative decides they can't take it you'll have a harder time 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Your family will be mad for five minutes. YOU will be inconvenienced for 10-15 years. The cat should go. You 'may' have an out of the cst goes when the relative moves out, but odds are they'll move to a pet-free rental and beg you to keep it. In a month's time your own kds would likely be over the new kitten experience.still, you'd have to put your foot down right now and say the cat is art of the relative's family and leaves when they do ne way or the other. Never mind 10-15 years - there is a cat living in my house that is almost 21 years old!!!!!! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted October 31, 2016 Author Share Posted October 31, 2016 Well, I sent the cat AND the people away today! Not that the cat was the cause, but I suppose it was a fair representation of the repeated assaults on my boundaries. Tonight my house is (basically) clean, my children are (mostly) playing nicely, there is an actual To Do list for tomorrow and the rest of the week, and I can see my life coming back into focus! 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 :hurray: :party: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeMum Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 (edited) :thumbup1: :thumbup1: :thumbup1: Thats how its done Edited November 1, 2016 by HomeMum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoutingmom Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 Well, I sent the cat AND the people away today! Not that the cat was the cause, but I suppose it was a fair representation of the repeated assaults on my boundaries. Tonight my house is (basically) clean, my children are (mostly) playing nicely, there is an actual To Do list for tomorrow and the rest of the week, and I can see my life coming back into focus! Just curious if the people and the cat went together... Sent from my SM-T530NU using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted November 1, 2016 Author Share Posted November 1, 2016 Just curious if the people and the cat went together... Yes. Not the best situation for the cat or the people, but they weren't a healthy situation for me, so whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomsintheGarden Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 Woot! Congrats on your quick resolution to the problem! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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