Halftime Hope Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 (edited) I'd like to hear your stories please. Â Thank you! Â Â Â Edited October 29, 2016 by Halftime Hope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 My nephew gave his mom's gorgeous engagement ring that his mother no linger wore to his intended. When she was caught cheating on him before the wedding, she refused to give it back. Â Bye bye family heirloom. Â So I prefer that these type things only be handed down to kept and worn by a grandchild or great grandchild, but not given to an in law where breaking up/divorce may end with the heirloom gone forever. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Mine is my DH's grandmother's. I need to update our will since right now it's left to DH's younger brother rather than DS (who wasn't born yet when we wrote the will). I imagine that BIL would most likely give it to DS since BIL is now married and bought his wife her own engagement ring. But we need to put it officially in writing. Â If we were to God forbid divorce, the ring would be stored for DS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 We were very broke college students. He got a ring from his mom. It happened to be from his grandmother. I wore it until we got married and then switched to a much plainer wedding ring. Â The biggest reason we used that ring was because he had no money to buy a different one and we wanted to get married. Sentiment and history was not a big deal. Just practicality. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 We were very broke college students. He got a ring from his mom. It happened to be from his grandmother. I wore it until we got married and then switched to a much plainer wedding ring. Â The biggest reason we used that ring was because he had no money to buy a different one and we wanted to get married. Sentiment and history was not a big deal. Just practicality. Â We also got engaged in college and DH was too broke to buy me a ring. It was a very big deal to me that MIL gave DH her mother's ring because it meant that they were welcoming me into their family. My parents liked DH but were very opposed to me getting married outside of their idea of the "proper" age (which is 30 +/- a couple years). 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 We were very broke college students. He got a ring from his mom. It happened to be from his grandmother. I wore it until we got married and then switched to a much plainer wedding ring. Â The biggest reason we used that ring was because he had no money to buy a different one and we wanted to get married. Sentiment and history was not a big deal. Just practicality. But a ring isn't necessary to be married, or engaged. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ailaena Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 We apparently pass on engagement rings after death because my great-grandma died and gave it to my grandma and after she died it went to my mom. And when she dies, I get it. Yhe , my daughter gets it! It started with great-great-grandma, I believe and it is only the diamond that remains from the original set. Â I want to be a terrible person and say that I would only give it to my daughter and if she didn't exist, a granddaughter, and if she didn't exist, then a son. Of course, since we only do it after we are dead, I guess I would know if my DIL was a jerk by then :p. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 My ex husband proposed to me with a ring that was his great grandmothers I think.. It was gorgeous, I loved it, I almost lost it once (oops!) but found it, and then we got divorced and I gave it back. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 But a ring isn't necessary to be married, or engaged. Â No, it's not. If DH hadn't been able to get the family heirloom we still would've been engaged. He'd probably have bought me a cheapie crystal ring to wear during the engagement while saving up for an actual diamond. He's always worn a cheapie wedding band (at first because that's all we could afford and now because he keeps losing them :glare: ) Â 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Not exactly an heirloom story but... Â My parents divorced when I was 7. The engagement ring my dad had given my mom had a gorgeous half karat nearly flawless diamond. I always assumed I would get the ring. Instead my step mom (who had given all of us kids nice jewelry when we married) had it turned into a tie tack for my brother when he married. I assume he will pass it onto one of his kids. He has a relationship with our bio mom so it seemed like the right thing to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 No family heirloom here.....but I do have a carat solitaire that xh bought me for our 25 th wedding anniversary. It is beautiful. I have kept in case ds wants to offer it to his future wife to be.....but I have no huge expectation of how it is used.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Not exactly an heirloom story but... Â My parents divorced when I was 7. The engagement ring my dad had given my mom had a gorgeous half karat nearly flawless diamond. I always assumed I would get the ring. Instead my step mom (who had given all of us kids nice jewelry when we married) had it turned into a tie tack for my brother when he married. I assume he will pass it onto one of his kids. He has a relationship with our bio mom so it seemed like the right thing to do. How did your step mom end up with it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 No, it's not. If DH hadn't been able to get the family heirloom we still would've been engaged. He'd probably have bought me a cheapie crystal ring to wear during the engagement while saving up for an actual diamond. He's always worn a cheapie wedding band (at first because that's all we could afford and now because he keeps losing them :glare: ) Â I bought DH two cheapies after his not extravagant, but more than $10 each gold ones ended up lost and/or wrecked. Â Those $10 stainless steel ones are still going strong. He still has both and wears them interchangeably. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 I inherited a wedding ring set from my great grandmother. I wore the wedding ring after DH and I got married, but it broke a few years in to our marriage. The ring had been worn by my great grandmother for many years, and the cold was worn down. It finally cracked. I still have it. The engagement ring was even more worn, but it had a very pretty diamond in it. We took it to a jeweler and had it re-set into a new ring that became my engagement ring.  I wore a cheapie (TJ Maxx) wedding band for a few years and last year, DH finally talked me in to letting him buy me a new, real, band.  I like that I'm wearing something my great grandmother wore. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 My engagement ring was my great grandmother's engagement ring. It has two emeralds, and I love it. My wedding band was designed to fit it. Both are very understated. My husband has a plain gold band. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted October 29, 2016 Author Share Posted October 29, 2016 Thank you for the stories!  I have some modest heirloom jewelry, and youngsters who could benefit from using them in the near future (I'm being deliberately vague, but you can fill in imaginary details), but because of the ancestral relationships and sentimental value, I'd really, really hate to lose one of the sets to a possible divorce in future years. (I'm thinking of the possibility something along the lines of FaithManor's story, but less dramatic.)  I'm not sure how one navigates that possibility with diplomacy and tact. Or is it a situation that just requires a leap of faith?     1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted October 29, 2016 Author Share Posted October 29, 2016 My engagement ring was my great grandmother's engagement ring. It has two emeralds, and I love it. My wedding band was designed to fit it. Both are very understated. My husband has a plain gold band.  So it came from your family, not his?  It sounds beautiful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Legally, it is my understanding that if an engagement is broken (or marriage I presume) the engagement ring goes back to the giver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 So it came from your family, not his? Â It sounds beautiful! Yes, it's from my family. When my DH asked my dad if he could marry me, my parents offered him the ring. We were in college on our way to grad school, so there wasn't a lot of money. We could afford to replace it, but the new ring wouldn't be my engagement ring. I love this ring. And we aren't fancy people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Dh proposed with his deceased grandmother's wedding ring. We had the diamond reset into a simple engraved band, and we didn't add a separate wedding band Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Legally, it is my understanding that if an engagement is broken (or marriage I presume) the engagement ring goes back to the giver. It depends on who does the breaking. If she breaks the engagement, he is entitled to the ring back unless the ring was previously hers or bought by her. She keeps it, if he breaks up. At least that has been case law in every state I have lived in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 When my grandmother died, I ended up with her wedding ring. Â I don't even remember how that happened, but I ended up with it. Â I think because it fit my finger. Â I always considered it to be my brother's as she was his blood relative (and my step-grandmother, technically). Â When my brother was planning to get married a year or so ago, I asked him and his fiancee if they had found wedding rings. Â When they said "no", I asked if they would be interested in Grandma's ring. Â His fiancee completely lit up and said "yes". Â I pulled it off my hand and it fit her finger perfectly as well. Â If for some reason they ever divorce, I plan to ask her personally for the ring back. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 My ring was also from my family. It was my great-grandmother's from her second wedding after my great-grandfather died. We had it lowered a bit and my wedding ring is a jacket that adds a diamond on either side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 It depends on who does the breaking. If she breaks the engagement, he is entitled to the ring back unless the ring was previously hers or bought by her. She keeps it, if he breaks up. At least that has been case law in every state I have lived in.  Seems that may be unusual. In most states, it would have to be given back no matter what. http://family.findlaw.com/marriage/what-happens-to-the-engagement-ring-in-a-broken-engagement.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 How did your step mom end up with it? My mom gave it back to my dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Thank you for the stories! Â I have some modest heirloom jewelry, and youngsters who could benefit from using them in the near future (I'm being deliberately vague, but you can fill in imaginary details), but because of the ancestral relationships and sentimental value, I'd really, really hate to lose one of the sets to a possible divorce in future years. (I'm thinking of the possibility something along the lines of FaithManor's story, but less dramatic.) Â I'm not sure how one navigates that possibility with diplomacy and tact. Or is it a situation that just requires a leap of faith? I think it requires a leap of faith. Don't pass on something that would bother you if it didn't come back. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 I think it requires a leap of faith. Don't pass on something that would bother you if it didn't come back. I agree. I have decided if ds wants to sell this ring for something different I am cool with that. And heaven forbid he gets a divorce if she keeps the ring oh well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016  I'm not sure how one navigates that possibility with diplomacy and tact. Or is it a situation that just requires a leap of faith?  If there were a formal pre-nup, it could cover the ring. However, I'm not a fan of pre-nups. If the couple is going into the marriage with the attitude that divorce is not the absolute last-resort option in the case of a truly "dealbreaker" issue, then it becomes kind of a self-fulfilling prophesy, KWIM?  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 At 16 I inherited my great grandmother's engagement ring.  It was very pretty and I loved that I owned it.   30 years later, it was still in it's box.  After my grandmother died (great grandma's daughter) my mom had a few pieces.  We talked and realized the stuff she had, would still be 20-30 years from now and after I cleaned out her house I would end up just having to do something with it all.  I took all that and gg'ma's ring and sold it.  My brother was in a bad place financially due to marrying psychopaths with trust funds to finance divorce lawyers, so I told him it was 'his half' of the jewlery "we" had inherited from grandma so he would take the money.  Yes it was my great grandmother's and grandmother's stuff.  Yes it was heirloom items.  But it was doing and would do no one any good sitting a box.  Selling it would and did make a difference so everyone was completely okay with it.    3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 FWIW, I had a long chat with a jeweler a few months ago, and he mentioned that he advises people to leave jewels *ONLY* to daughters. For obvious reasons, lol.  My mom took that approach. I, the only daughter, got the jewelry.  My brother wanted one thing for his new wife, but it wasn't sentimental to me (just $$$), so I gave it to him gladly, figuring they are now "lost" to the family if they divorce, but that is what it is. (He was not greedy at all. Mom had a lot of things. He just wanted that one.)  Mom had long ago given my brother the very nice and rather large diamond my dad had given her . . . He was thinking about proposing, which is why Mom gave it to him. (It was probably worth 5k or more. 2/3 carats and super, duper high quality -- my dad was crazy about that stuff.) He decided against proposing to that gf, and a few years later, when he was ready to propose to another gal, he found out that the diamond had been stolen and replaced with a fake. Probably was a long time housekeeper of his, but could have been any one of many people in and out of his life/home over the years. Just as well, because that marriage didn't last anyway, lol. SO, anyway, that's my experience with heirloom engagement rings . . . and I wouldn't want it repeated!!  I have quite a lot of nice jewelry now, so my girls will be all set for jewelry, lol. I could imagine giving one of the smaller diamonds I have (from various grandmothers) to my son if he wanted it for an engagement, but they are pretty small (maybe 1/4 carat), so it'd have to be a special circumstance to make it a good choice. Personally, I think they are lovely, and one could make a really sweet sentimental ring . . . But, it does seem like most girls these days who want a diamond want a (big) showy one, and those ones aren't showy. My larger diamonds (that my dh bought me) and the various sentimental and $$ pieces from my mom (and dad) will only go to my girls, for sure. I could see giving a couple things to a DIL over the years, but I'd really try to avoid it.  I think the way Mom had originally written her will was that my brother got her car, and I got her jewelry, and everything else was split up. By the time she died, her will had been changed and pretty much let my brother and I figure it out (which was fine), but I made sure to keep the jewelry (except for the one item he asked for), and I'll be passing it along to my girls as they are ready for the responsibilities.  My mom started passing nice pieces to me when I was 20 or so. I'll do the same with my girls, and if my brother ever has kids (daughters), I'll pass them pieces, too, for sure.       Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 FWIW, I had a long chat with a jeweler a few months ago, and he mentioned that he advises people to leave jewels *ONLY* to daughters. For obvious reasons, lol. Â My mom took that approach. I, the only daughter, got the jewelry. Â My brother wanted one thing for his new wife, but it wasn't sentimental to me (just $$$), so I gave it to him gladly, figuring they are now "lost" to the family if they divorce, but that is what it is. (He was not greedy at all. Mom had a lot of things. He just wanted that one.) Â Mom had long ago given my brother the very nice and rather large diamond my dad had given her . . . He was thinking about proposing, which is why Mom gave it to him. (It was probably worth 5k or more. 2/3 carats and super, duper high quality -- my dad was crazy about that stuff.) He decided against proposing to that gf, and a few years later, when he was ready to propose to another gal, he found out that the diamond had been stolen and replaced with a fake. Probably was a long time housekeeper of his, but could have been any one of many people in and out of his life/home over the years. Just as well, because that marriage didn't last anyway, lol. SO, anyway, that's my experience with heirloom engagement rings . . . and I wouldn't want it repeated!! Â I have quite a lot of nice jewelry now, so my girls will be all set for jewelry, lol. I could imagine giving one of the smaller diamonds I have (from various grandmothers) to my son if he wanted it for an engagement, but they are pretty small (maybe 1/4 carat), so it'd have to be a special circumstance to make it a good choice. Personally, I think they are lovely, and one could make a really sweet sentimental ring . . . But, it does seem like most girls these days who want a diamond want a (big) showy one, and those ones aren't showy. My larger diamonds (that my dh bought me) and the various sentimental and $$ pieces from my mom (and dad) will only go to my girls, for sure. I could see giving a couple things to a DIL over the years, but I'd really try to avoid it. Â I think the way Mom had originally written her will was that my brother got her car, and I got her jewelry, and everything else was split up. By the time she died, her will had been changed and pretty much let my brother and I figure it out (which was fine), but I made sure to keep the jewelry (except for the one item he asked for), and I'll be passing it along to my girls as they are ready for the responsibilities. Â My mom started passing nice pieces to me when I was 20 or so. I'll do the same with my girls, and if my brother ever has kids (daughters), I'll pass them pieces, too, for sure. So what does one do if they have only sons? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 FWIW, I had a long chat with a jeweler a few months ago, and he mentioned that he advises people to leave jewels *ONLY* to daughters. For obvious reasons, lol.  My mom took that approach. I, the only daughter, got the jewelry.   We split Mom's jewelry between my sister, my aunt (mom's sister, 15 years younger than her) and me. But it's mostly weird, funky '70's stuff! I don't know what to do with it. She had a lot of her good stuff stolen in a house robbery several years earlier--luckily the heirloom rings had already gone to her kids before that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kentuckymom Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 The diamond in my ring is from DH's great grandmother's ring. His mother offered it to him when she knew we were headed toward engagement. He had it reset in a new band, partly because the old one was quite worn, party because I prefer silver colored jewelry and he knew that (my ring is white gold), and partly just to make it its own special thing. On Valentine's Day after we got engaged he gave me the band that the ring came in, which he'd had my birthstone set in. I rarely wear it since I don't really like to wear rings (my wedding an engagement rings being the exception), but I love that I have the whole original article in two separate rings. Neither of us has any intention of ever ending our marriage, but I wouldn't keep the rings if we did. They came from his family, and they're my family now too, but, if they ceased to legally be my family, I wouldn't want to hold onto stuff that's important to their history. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 We split Mom's jewelry between my sister, my aunt (mom's sister, 15 years younger than her) and me. But it's mostly weird, funky '70's stuff! I don't know what to do with it. She had a lot of her good stuff stolen in a house robbery several years earlier--luckily the heirloom rings had already gone to her kids before that. Maybe a jeweler could turn it into something nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbotoast Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 DH gave me his mother's original engagement ring. (She had upgraded at some point.) I wore it for 10 years until the diamond fell out somewhere :( Â Right now I'm wearing a cheap ring from etsy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Legally, it is my understanding that if an engagement is broken (or marriage I presume) the engagement ring goes back to the giver. I don't think this is the case. It was a gift. The recipient has no responsibility to return a gift. Â Of course, I wouldn't want to keep a ring from a broken engagement, especially if it were an heirloom of my ex-fiance's family. I think returning a ring to the ex falls under good manners more than legalities. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 So what does one do if they have only sons? Hold out for granddaughters? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 So what does one do if they have only sons?  You could save the jewelry for grand-daughters. That's what I'd do, and it's what I'm planning on for my brother . . . If he has any daughters, I'll be sure they get something special and valuable from the family jewelry. Otherwise, it'll all stay with my girls (and/or any grand daughters if I live long enough). You could have any "extra" diamonds put into pendants or similar special "grand daughter" pieces. Of course, it's totally up to each person, but I do think it makes sense to make jewelry inheritance follow the females. In any event, I love having Mom's jewelry, and especially the pieces with sentimental value (things my dad bought my mom, my dad bought HIS mom, my mom bought HER mom . . .) Every time I wear them or even look at them, it brings back sweet memories.  If these were pieces that were my dh's mom's/family's, I would have no such emotional connection; I wouldn't even know the stories of who bought what for whom in what country, etc, let alone remember the grandparents/etc. I wouldn't want anything from his family. There's only one daughter (four sons) in dh's family. I assume she would get any jewelry when their mom passes away, and that's what I'd think was right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bethben Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I have my MILs wedding band and diamond. DH was totally broke at the time. DH offered to replace it when we had been married about 10 years, but it has some sweet memories attached to it and I still wear it. Â Â Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen A Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 For those who are going to pass down heirlooms to their daughters--are you planning on having your daughter say to her serious boyfriend "Hey, I an supply my own ring if you want to propose?"  Seems like it may make it financially too easy on the young man.  Or does dd end up with her own set, from her husband, plus grandma's-- and one still sits in a box unused.  I personally love the idea of re-using already mined diamonds because of the violence/corruption/abuse I've heard about in the diamond industry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 My SILs first engagement she was given a family heirloom ring. It was her fiance's grandmother's ring. The agreement was that if they didn't get married and it was because of his infidelity that she could keep the ring, any other reason and she would have to give it back. They broke up (different religious beliefs that just didn't mesh) and she returned the ring.  My MIL told me she had some heirloom jewelry that she would give me but if we got divorced she wanted it back. This was about a week after we were married. :glare: She never gave me any jewelry and at that point I wouldn't have accepted it anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 For those who are going to pass down heirlooms to their daughters--are you planning on having your daughter say to her serious boyfriend "Hey, I an supply my own ring if you want to propose?"  Seems like it may make it financially too easy on the young man.  Or does dd end up with her own set, from her husband, plus grandma's-- and one still sits in a box unused.  I personally love the idea of re-using already mined diamonds because of the violence/corruption/abuse I've heard about in the diamond industry.  Nope, I don't think so. No one *needs* a diamond engagement ring (at least not in my social circles). If they can't afford a diamond, then they should get what they can afford, or wait to get married, IMHO. I have no intention of making it easier for any young man to marry my daughter, lol. He's gotta' work for it, and a ring is a very small part of being able to support a family. Learning to live within your means and wait for what you want are important lessons. I would pass along any *other* jewelry directly to my daughters/granddaughters, but if there is an engagement ring, then it won't be coming from me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 (edited) I would never want an heirloom ring, I'm way too good at breaking and losing things. Â Dh was worried about affording an engagement ring until I showed him the one I had already picked out--it was simple white gold with a teardrop shaped lab-created emerald and cost under $100. I love the ring and haven't had to panic every time I misplace it. Â I'm not at all fond of diamonds; overpriced chunks of rock mined by slave labor. Edited October 31, 2016 by maize Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyGF Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 I have a family heirloom ring (I'll read other stories later) from DH's grandma. She had inherited it in the 1950s and never worn it. While she was alive, she would sometimes say things like, "Let me see my ring" which were awkward, but generally was always gracious. When she gave us the ring, it was clear that it was mine. The assumption was always that I would put the stone in a new setting because the old setting was so old fashioned. Luckily, the first jeweler we went to to have it reset told me he would absolutely not reset and that I should wait a year before making any decisions. I love the ring now and it is very hip. I get tons of complements on it and it is very very non-standard. You can't get anything like it without having it custom made. Â The jeweler also told me, "This ring is from the 1920s but has been sitting in a box for the last 50 years. You never see anything like this now." He was right on. He also told me how to take care of it so that it wouldn't need to be rebuilt. Good ring care is now easy to me. Â Later, we got one of my grandma's rings and put a new stone in it so that it would be more modern (it was too flashy for now). So, whenever I go out, I have a grandma ring from both sides on. I feel really special and am glad for the memories both hold. I was really close to my grandma and can see her adjusting the ring that I now wear of hers. Â Emily 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyGF Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Hold out for granddaughters? I have DH's grandma's rings. She only offered them to sons. She figured daughter's BF's should be able to buy rings on their own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 My parents separated when I was a week old and my brother was 11 months old. They were divorced a year later. My mother kept the rings and I got the diamond wedding band for high school graduation which I wear on my right hand. My brother got the engagement ring (not as a high school graduation gift) so that he could either give it to her or he could trade it in to contribute to the ring he got her. He used it to contribute to the ring she wanted.My wedding set was damaged and I wore the diamond wedding band I got for high school graduation for a while before I got around to getting my wedding set fixed. I'm not very sentimental, superstitious or prone to symbolism, so I didn't think it was weird to have on the wedding band from their disastrous marriage as a temporary wedding ring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 My engagement ring was dh's grandmother's engagement ring. It has one it larger diamond and two tiny diamonds. No idea on cut or clarity but I am not fussy at all. The setting is older but I like it. Â My wedding band was my great grandmother's. It is thin yellow gold band with a small section of white gold and in there are 3 MICRO diamond chips. ...hardly able to be seen. That was all great grandfather could afford during the depression. Â I had them welded together when we got married. Â Dh's wedding band was made from my grandma and grandpa original wedding bands melted together. My cousin is a jeweler and these rings were his aunt and uncle's and granothers so he did work at cost. Â We were poor and liked the rings. Some sentimental value as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 I also think older rings tend to have less fussy settings, in that you don't have to baby them. They don't tend to stick out so far, so don't catch on things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 For those who are going to pass down heirlooms to their daughters--are you planning on having your daughter say to her serious boyfriend "Hey, I an supply my own ring if you want to propose?"Â Â This is why in both my family and DH's diamond rings are passed down to sons/grandsons rather than daughters/granddaughters. I got family china and silver passed down to me but my brothers got rings. One is unmarried so his ring is sitting in my dad's safety deposit box. I presume that if my single brother never does marry, the ring would go to my DS but it's way too soon to have that conversation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted November 1, 2016 Author Share Posted November 1, 2016  in there are 3 MICRO diamond chips. ...hardly able to be seen. That was all great grandfather could afford during the depression.   My grandmother had her rings melted and her diamond re-set after my granddad was killed in a car accident while they were in "the big city" celebrating their anniversary. Holy cow, that was awful.  I really don't know why she had that done, maybe because it was considered unseemly for widows to continue to wear wedding rings back in the day?  Anyway, it's a pretty filigree (that I don't like), with a very small centered diamond and 7 micro diamond chips, 3 on one side, and 4 on the other. Weird!!! I had to turn it, and turn it, and turn it to catch the light to make sure I was counting the chips right. They are so tiny, the only way you can tell they are really there is that they are flat in the setting, and the flatness is different and reflects light like a mirrored surface.  He was a tailor and later went into the pastorate, so I know they didn't have much except his faithful, loyal love for her, come thick and thin--mostly thin and lots of sickness. It was such a blow when he was killed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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