Moxie Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I'm watching the first season of Shameless. One of the characters bribed his daughter to go to a purity ball. His wife asks if there are purity balls for boys and he says "No, why would there be?" Anyway, it just got me thinking. I've never seen any kind of purity event for boys. Is it a thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I have not heard of one. But I think there used to be a true love waits conference for teens. It wasn't a ball, just seminars, and then the kids were asked to make a pledge at the end which I think involved both genders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I found this. It's a manhood ceremony on the same page as a purity ball. http://www.generationsoflight.com/html/boys.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I'm watching the first season of Shameless. One of the characters bribed his daughter to go to a purity ball. His wife asks if there are purity balls for boys and he says "No, why would there be?" Anyway, it just got me thinking. I've never seen any kind of purity event for boys. Is it a thing? Never heard of that. But then I think purity balls - or any event or group based on sexual activity desired or engaged in or even prohibited - is pretty weird. I gave exactly the same talks to my children of both genders and exactly the same warnings. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I have not heard of one. But I think there used to be a true love waits conference for teens. It wasn't a ball, just seminars, and then the kids were asked to make a pledge at the end which I think involved both genders. I think it is a really scummy and shaming thing to encourage very young people to make pledges of any kind. Biblically, that is very close to a VOW, and you had better not make those lightly, scripturally speaking. But then I won't even "pledge" income whenever a church decides to browbeat people that way. That is unscriptural. The Bible says to bring what you have stored up cheerfully at the beginning of the week, not make assertions far in advance that you will give a certain amount. Ask me how I really feel about this... ;) 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Never heard of that. But then I think purity balls - or any event or group based on sexual activity desired or engaged in or even prohibited - is pretty weird. I gave exactly the same talks to my children of both genders and exactly the same warnings. That whole purity (fertility cult) culture is weird. And of course, a lot of it is sponsored by perverts. I have crossed over to blaming the parents who used to get a wee bit of a pass for being uninformed...but if anybody doesn't know about Gothard, Bill Phillips, and all the others by now, it's because they don't want to know. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Please God, NO. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Ha ha, we just watched that episode last night! :) That scene was so creepy, both DH and I were totally wigged out by the guy in charge (" c'mon now, you need to share *details*"... Ewww!). And then of course the dad's response that you are referring to...spot on. Gross in every way. It's the most appropriately named show, for sure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Ha ha, we just watched that episode last night! :) That scene was so creepy, both DH and I were totally wigged out by the guy in charge (" c'mon now, you need to share *details*"... Ewww!). And then of course the dad's response that you are referring to...spot on. Gross in every way. It's the most appropriately named show, for sure! For sure! And, just so everyone reading this thread knows, the show was originally on Showtime so consider yourself warned!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 For sure! And, just so everyone reading this thread knows, the show was originally on Showtime so consider yourself warned!! Right. It is not exactly a family show. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Is this the American version or the British one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 With a title of "Purity balls for boys," my mind automatically went to a different kind of ball. :D 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I had never heard of purity balls before, but the name of it just sounds wrong...lol...."purity balls for boys." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Why is it okay for daughters and dads to go to dances together and not moms and sons ? Makes it all a little weird. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 (edited) I think it is a really scummy and shaming thing to encourage very young people to make pledges of any kind. Biblically, that is very close to a VOW, and you had better not make those lightly, scripturally speaking. I agree. We don't say the Pledge of Allegiance, or Girl Scout oaths, or any other kind of pledges. "But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath; but your yes is to be yes, and your no, no, so that you may not fall under judgment." James 5:12 “Again, you have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not make false vows, but shall fulfill your vows to the Lord.’ But I [Jesus] say to you, make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil." Matthew 5:33-27 Take that, Purity Ball people. ETA: And I agree the whole scene seems pervy and weird. Edited August 13, 2016 by MercyA 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Is this the American version or the British one? I would guess the American one: I've not heard of purity balls for either sex here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 (edited) I think it is a really scummy and shaming thing to encourage very young people to make pledges of any kind. Biblically, that is very close to a VOW, and you had better not make those lightly, scripturally speaking. But then I won't even "pledge" income whenever a church decides to browbeat people that way. That is unscriptural. The Bible says to bring what you have stored up cheerfully at the beginning of the week, not make assertions far in advance that you will give a certain amount. Ask me how I really feel about this... ;) I agree. When we were active church members, I liked to donate in cash anonymously. I'd just put cash in the plate each week . . . I hated pledging. I did it a few years because that's what everyone was supposed to do, but I hated it every time. I think that churches should aim to have a year's funding in cash on hand, and budget for the following year based on what is on hand . . . If I managed a church, that's what I'd do. :) But, then, they wouldn't be able to twist folks' arms for weeks/months each year . . . manipulating people into donating more than they want to . . . I HATED that stuff. I was apoplectic when my mom's long-time former church cashed a check she mailed them . . . At the end of the pledge year, soon after a visit back to her home church . . . She's already more than met her annual pledge (I was managing her finances, as she had Alzheimer's . . . ) but that visit hearing about pledge stuff made her more worried about the money . . . They were always talking about money and figuring out more ways to weasel more money out of vulnerable people. Even months/years after they'd known she had Alzheimer's and could not understand or manage her finances! She was so stressed about it, and that's why I'd made sure her pledge was met to honor that wish of hers . . . (And she'd moved away in JANUARY . .. and had ALZ, so needed to preserve every dollar of her funds to ensure HER care . . . But, we honored that entire year's substantial pledge, even though she was gone, and now supporting a NEW church . . . and also even though she'd made the pledge when she was already very compromised from dementia . . . STILL it wasn't enough for them!) Anyway, she mailed them a $500 check TOTALLY filled out wrong (like TO: FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS, signed in the wrong line, etc) and they knew she had advanced dementia which was why she'd moved away to my home . . . Anyway, they cashed that check, and I had no idea she'd even written and mailed it until I saw the image on a bank statement. I had a conniption fit. They offered to return the funds, but I told them to keep it, with the warning never to cash another check over $100 from my mom . . . (who wasn't even supposed to have access to her checking account . . . I just hoped that my fit helped one or two of the folks there recognize the wrong they had done and reconsider their future treatment of vulnerable members. . . That experience reminded me (AGAIN) just how hypocritical and awful that church was. All about serving the needy, supposedly, but very eager to take advantage of a vulnerable member. Anyway, rant over. Edited August 13, 2016 by StephanieZ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 But then I won't even "pledge" income whenever a church decides to browbeat people that way. That is unscriptural. The Bible says to bring what you have stored up cheerfully at the beginning of the week, not make assertions far in advance that you will give a certain amount. Ask me how I really feel about this... ;) I am the exact same way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I would guess the American one: I've not heard of purity balls for either sex here. Yes, we are watching the American version. I've only heard of purity balls on this board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Yes, we are watching the American version. I've only heard of purity balls on this board. I don't think the formal balls are popular but all the churches in my area have a Father-Daughter dance where the father gives his daughter a ring. So she'll see it in the heat of the moment and have second thoughts? I have no idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 You said balls. Heh. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooksandBoys Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 I just started that show too. It's great! I laughed out loud at that line because I grew up in that purity culture. Of course there are no purity balls for boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMommy Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 With a title of "Purity balls for boys," my mind automatically went to a different kind of ball. :D Same here! I thought this was going to be a very different conversation! :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Why would boys have purity balls? Isn't it the girls' job to say no, and not tempt them, or cause them to 'stumble?' 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 I recall first hearing about them for girls and being squicked out. the lack of anything for boys does show the community's double standard - but I doubt they'd be any more effective. and they'd squick me out too. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 I watched SVU the other night and they had one. If it was accurate it was creepy - I had thought of something more like an old fashioned school dance not something like getting temporarily married to your father. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joules Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 I've officially been playing too much Pokemon. My thoughts were "What kind of Pokemon does that catch?" "Are they making toys now?" and "Wait, girls play Pokemon, too!!" I have heard of that kind of purity ball, but only for girls...it's super creepy. I guess I was trying to block the concept from my mind. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elfknitter.# Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 I watched SVU the other night and they had one. If it was accurate it was creepy - I had thought of something more like an old fashioned school dance not something like getting temporarily married to your father. Dance or marriage, it's all F***ed up. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenC Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 I had never heard of purity balls before, but the name of it just sounds wrong...lol...."purity balls for boys." I thought the same thing. :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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