So a sex offender just moved into my neighborhood...

[umsami]

From out of state.  He plead guilty to two counts, was put on probation for 99 years, served some time, etc.  It was acts against a minor he was a custodian for.  He's also supposed to stay 100 feet away from schools, day cares, playgrounds, etc.   Apparently, a neighbor rented the house to him.  We have a big neighborhood playground and pool area and tons of kids in the neighborhood.

This is so disturbing.

[OneStepAtATime]

I am sorry Umsami.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Eagle]

At least you know. Here in Canada they don't tell you where sex offenders live. Anyone on my street could be one and I would never know. Of course there are also offenders who never get caught and no one knows about them either. At least with this one, you are aware and can be vigilant around him.

[Hilltopmom]

I'd be more concerned about the ones you "don't" know about, who haven't been caught yet, honestly.

But that does suck, sorry.

[Janeway]

The majority of sex offenders never get caught. So, unfortunately, we must live our lives as if every neighbor is a sex offender. At least that guy was caught and will, hopefully, be watched closer.

 

Does anyone know any statistics on a sex offender re-offending AFTER being on the registry?

[Anacharsis]

That sounds rough. :( Ideally he is a recovering sex-offender. If it were my neighborhood, I would do my best to treat him sort of like a recovering alcoholic -- avoid inviting him to things that might cause a relapse, be vigilant against signs, but recognize that it is in both his and my best interests that he become reintegrated into the community.

​

​Since sex offenses don't carry life imprisonment nor the death penalty, they have to go somewhere and do something after they get out of prison. In some ways the social penalties are more severe than for murder; we don't usually have murderer registries, after all.

Edited August 4, 2016 by Anacharsis

[mommyoffive]

Ugh.  I am sorry.  

 

I am glad you know about it though.

[abcmommy]

I have one too.  I worry far less about him than about the ones not IDed.

[Scarlett]

I know someone on the registry.

 

Details are important. But you never really get all the details.

 

I just operate as if everyone is a potential offender. Sad isn't it?

[Anne in CA]

I agree with the people who said at least you know about him. But it is still stressful, I'm sure. I hope you and your kids will learn to recognize him and avoid him when seeing him around. I'm sorry, you've had a lot of stress already. This would bother me a lot too. There is a registered sex offender close to me, but he had consensual s## with a 15yo, so I am not worried about the ra8pe aspect.

[Spryte]

I'm sorry. That adds stress to your world. You already knew to be wary, but now you *really* know.

 

Is his new rental too close to the schools, pool, or playground? I hope not.

[Scarlett]

:grouphug: We had to deal with this last winter--folks coming to look at puppies, and I had to say, "Your dad will NOT be crossing my cattleguard". Scuzz bucket.

I don't understand. You told children their father was not welcome on your property even to look at puppies?

[Guest]

We have one. The parole officer and the pd do a very good job. Put the police nonemergency number on your phone in the event that he prowls.

[gardenmom5]

I know someone on the registry.

 

Details are important. But you never really get all the details.

 

I just operate as if everyone is a potential offender. Sad isn't it?

 

first - I would want details.  what level offender is he - and what age did he assault.  level 3 that targets children  . .   I'd  not allow my kids outside without supervision.  check the laws in your area about where they may live.

level 1 that targeted an adult - I wouldn't be nearly as panicked.

your county sheriff's dept is supposed to have the information - as well as the police. they should also be able to give you tips to protect your family.

 

eta: I've known two.  one of them absolutely creeped me out, and his wife was seriously mentally not there. (he liked teen girls).  I've a friend whose brother is a pedophile - and her elderly mother would let him come even if she was going to be there with her kids, so she taught them to cry "wolf" (literally) if he ever walked in the room and she wasn't in it.  (she'd go to help her mother, and he'd show up.)

Edited August 4, 2016 by gardenmom5

[happymom4]

Personally I think of everyone as a potential sex offender when it comes to my kids so life we go on as normal for me.  Does that make me crazy or incredibly sane... 

[Guest]

I don't understand. You told children their father was not welcome on your property even to look at puppies?

Puppies are what they use as a magnet. Selling them a puppy is likely to mean one is aiding and abetting their illegal activities.

.

 

Boundaries have to be established. We had to bar the child from our property to keep the s.o. from acting on his mental impulses -- s.o. is what they are convicted of, but other obvious mental illnesses may be present.

[Scarlett]

Puppies are what they use as a magnet. Selling them a puppy is likely to mean one is aiding and abetting their illegal activities.

.

 

Boundaries have to be established. We had to bar the child from our property to keep the s.o. from acting on his mental impulses -- s.o. is what they are convicted of, but other obvious mental illnesses may be present.

Oh I see.

[Scarlett]

 

 

first - I would want details. what level offender is he - and what age did he assault. level 3 that targets children . . I'd not allow my kids outside without supervision. check the laws in your area about where they may live.

level 1 that targeted an adult - I wouldn't be nearly as panicked.

your county sheriff's dept is supposed to have the information - as well as the police. they should also be able to give you tips to protect your family.

 

eta: I've known two. one of them absolutely creeped me out, and his wife was seriously mentally not there. (he liked teen girls). I've a friend whose brother is a pedophile - and her elderly mother would let him come even if she was going to be there with her kids, so she taught them to cry "wolf" (literally) if he ever walked in the room and she wasn't in it. (she'd go to help her mother, and he'd show up.)

I am really jaded about the registry though. I know a man on it and I know A LOT of the details. The girl was under age 16. So therefore he is level 3 and on the registry for life. He admitted it all....rather he confessed it all and I believe he is HIGHLY unlikely to ever reoffend. Obviously it was very poor judgment and very very wrong.

 

The trouble with the registry is they lump everyone together if the victim was underage. But to me there is a huge difference between a 15 year old and a prepubescent child. And the registry doesn't tell you that kind of detail.

[3 ladybugs]

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I agree that at least you know about him though. I know of someone who should be on the registry, who committed the crimes after the registry was out, but plea bargained out of it. Yeah, they say that shouldn't happen but I know that it does. :angry: 

 

I would be more vigilant till you know more information. Honestly we all need to be sensitive to this even if we don't know if someone is in our neighborhood or not. After all, all sex offenders have to start somewhere. They are not just born on the list. 

[Ravin]

Umsami, you might be able to get more details on the offense by doing a search of state court records using the guy's name and birthdate. PM me the details and I'll happily research for you.

 

Really, though, what someone else said is very true--the bigger risk is those you don't know about, who haven't been caught and put on a registry. This guy lives with some very strict boundaries, which he has to abide by to stay out of prison. He doesn't even have to actually re-offend, just break the probation rules, and he's sunk. 

 

He's a lot more likely to abide by probation and not have a problem if he's left in peace. I mean, even sex offenders have to live somewhere. 

[Nart]

Is it 100 feet (25 yards) or 100 yards away? 100 feet is close! I just went to Yellowstone and the Rangers make a big deal about staying 100 yards away from bears. One ranger pointed out to us a tree in the distance 100 yards away and it was pretty fat (a football field). Then the ranger pointed out 100 feet/ 25 yards (how far you stay away from bison). You can be parked 100 feet from a playground and have a good view of kids.

[Guest]

 

The trouble with the registry is they lump everyone together if the victim was underage. But to me there is a huge difference between a 15 year old and a prepubescent child. And the registry doesn't tell you that kind of detail.

There is not a huge difference to me. Both are off limits as they are children.

 

A 16 year old, yes, we all know 16s who declared themselves independent. But in the s.o. case, there may be grooming involved and details we dont know about. The judge decides, not the powerful adult in the relationship.

[Scarlett]

There is not a huge difference to me. Both are off limits as they are children.

 

A 16 year old, yes, we all know 16s who declared themselves independent. But in the s.o. case, there may be grooming involved and details we dont know about. The judge decides, not the powerful adult in the relationship.

I agree both are off limits. But one is a pedofile and the other probably isn't. That is a big difference to me.

[pinkmint]

I've posted about this subject before. We live 2 doors down from a registered sex offender. I drive by often and see him sitting in his garage (he's somewhat elderly) leering at me as I pass by with my kids. Neat, huh?

 

But I have to say I'm with those who believe anyone can be a potential sex offender. I also believe it that most are never caught. I was molested as a young child many times by a person who was never caught or held legally accountable so my experience lines up with that.

[La Condessa]

There is not a huge difference to me. Both are off limits as they are children.

 

A 16 year old, yes, we all know 16s who declared themselves independent. But in the s.o. case, there may be grooming involved and details we dont know about. The judge decides, not the powerful adult in the relationship.

But there is a big, big difference in the danger those offenders pose. Pedophilia and statutory rape are two different ball games.

 

Dh has to deal with these people all the time for work. There are far more sickos in this world than I ever would have imagined. Everyone in the US is statistically likely to know at least two undiscovered pedophiles.

[Amy in NH]

I know someone whose son was prosecuted for a sex crime because he was intimate with his girlfriend when they were both older teens.  He was slightly over the legal age, and she was slightly under.  I wouldn't be surprised if he is required to register...

[StephanieZ]

I don't understand. You told children their father was not welcome on your property even to look at puppies?

 

Of course she didn't allow a sex offender on her property for any purpose. I would not allow a sex offender anywhere near my property, my family, my children, myself, or anything else I could control. The government might consider your "time served", but I have no obligation to put my family or myself into contact with anyone I don't want to. And, I don't want to have anything to do with a sex offender, period, end stop! I wouldn't employ them, wouldn't speak to them, wouldn't rent to them, and wouldn't be a member of any group that would require/expect me to have any contact. 

 

You do the crime. You do the time. AND you face the social and other consequences of your actions. The consequences for a bad act are sometimes legal, sometimes social, sometimes financial, sometimes . . .

 

The entire purpose of the sex offender registry is to allow individuals to choose how much (if any) contact they want to have with an offender. I choose zero contact. 

[StephanieZ]

I know someone whose son was prosecuted for a sex crime because he was intimate with his girlfriend when they were both older teens.  He was slightly over the legal age, and she was slightly under.  I wouldn't be surprised if he is required to register...

 

And this is why most states have exceptions for close-in-age sexual contact. In many states, it is 2-4 years age difference. I am sure it is variable from state to state, though. 

 

It's also why I taught my son that sexual contact with anyone under the age of consent was a very dangerous idea, even if they were close in age. In fact, I didn't tell him about the close-in-age exception, as I figured there was no need to muddy that water. I just told him not to consider sexual contact with anyone under 16, ever. Period. And I made a very big deal about how dangerous it would be to him. I have to say I've been relieved that he's only dated girls his age or older and has shown no interest in younger girls. It is very scary to think of even being involved in a criminal proceedings, not to mention the significant risk of (where we live) a family member just shooting/killing my son if he crossed a line. That certainly still happens, and my son was made well aware of that long before he was dating.

[BlsdMama]

We have one fairly close to our home - about 2 miles away, rural.  Violent offender of a very young child - I'm floored he is even able to get out of jail??

His house went up for sale last week, I was tickled pink. But part of me wonders if the house will sell?

I'm really sorry this is happening you.  It is a very uncomfortably AWARE feeling to know there is a SO living so near to you rather than some vague idea that a fellow neighbor *could be* someone like that.

[gardenmom5]

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I agree that at least you know about him though. I know of someone who should be on the registry, who committed the crimes after the registry was out, but plea bargained out of it. Yeah, they say that shouldn't happen but I know that it does. :angry:

 

I would be more vigilant till you know more information. Honestly we all need to be sensitive to this even if we don't know if someone is in our neighborhood or not. After all, all sex offenders have to start somewhere. They are not just born on the list. 

 

 

I know someone whose son was prosecuted for a sex crime because he was intimate with his girlfriend when they were both older teens.  He was slightly over the legal age, and she was slightly under.  I wouldn't be surprised if he is required to register...

 

 

then there is my friend's dd who was repeatedly abused by her not quite five years older than her cousin before my friend found out. (the dd was 9, the cousin not quite 14).  friend's inlaws took the boy's side - because, favorite child and all.  the judge dismissed the case because they were just "experimenting".  my friend commented how unnatural he was when he'd watch children play.

 

he's now an adult, and serving a long sentence for pedophilia - he did start "somewhere", and an irresponsible judge dismissed the opportunity to corral his behavior before he hurt more children.

[shawthorne44]

We have one fairly close to our home - about 2 miles away, rural.  Violent offender of a very young child - I'm floored he is even able to get out of jail??

 

...

 

 

I think I know.   The defense attorney uses "Do you really want to put (child's name) on the stand?"  to get a plea-deal. (This is from a lawyer friend of mine)

 

Then they actually serve a fraction of that.   Time actually served is about 1 month per year of the victim's age.    If someone served over 2 years, the victim was probably an old lady.  (This is from checking the registered sickos site for many years)  

 

There was a registered sicko in my town that was a producer of small child videos.   As in many kids and lots of money.   He was convicted two years before I saw him registered in my town.  My state's registry used to give the date when someone got out, but then they stopped.  Probably because of people like me doing the math.  But, you can still tell they had to have served less than X amount of time from when they registered someplace in the public.  

[La Condessa]

I know someone whose son was prosecuted for a sex crime because he was intimate with his girlfriend when they were both older teens.  He was slightly over the legal age, and she was slightly under.  I wouldn't be surprised if he is required to register...

 

No.  Every time there is discussion of sex offernders' registries, someone brings up this scenario, but these people are not registered.  They fall under the Romeo-and-Juliet laws. 

 

If someone on the sex offenders' registry tells you this is why, they are lying to you.

[La Condessa]

I think I know.   The defense attorney uses "Do you really want to put (child's name) on the stand?"  to get a plea-deal. (This is from a lawyer friend of mine)

 

Then they actually serve a fraction of that.   Time actually served is about 1 month per year of the victim's age.    If someone served over 2 years, the victim was probably an old lady.  (This is from checking the registered sickos site for many years)  

 

There was a registered sicko in my town that was a producer of small child videos.   As in many kids and lots of money.   He was convicted two years before I saw him registered in my town.  My state's registry used to give the date when someone got out, but then they stopped.  Probably because of people like me doing the math.  But, you can still tell they had to have served less than X amount of time from when they registered someplace in the public.  

 

Where do you live?  These times are not typical in the U.S. 

 

Prosecutors may give plea-deals if they don't think they have the evidence to succeed in court, or if the parents of the victim really just want closure, and time will be way shorter with a deal.  But for a convicted offender, the above is not true.

 

In other countries, yes.  Crimes that will get a child molester 30 years here can get five in the U.K.

 

 

ETA: And while criminals frequently serve way less time than they are actually given, many states have statutes making perpetrators of the worst crimes ineligible for early release.

Edited August 4, 2016 by La Condessa

[grantmeawish]

This happened to friend. He called the police/detective that worked in the case and recieved all the information on the guy. They ended up running him out of the neighborhood

[shawthorne44]

Where do you live?  These times are not typical in the U.S. 

 

Prosecutors may give plea-deals if they don't think they have the evidence to succeed in court, or if the parents of the victim really just want closure, and time will be way shorter with a deal.  But for a convicted offender, the above is not true.

 

In other countries, yes.  Crimes that will get a child molester 30 years here can get five in the U.K.

 

 

ETA: And while criminals frequently serve way less time than they are actually given, many states have statutes making perpetrators of the worst crimes ineligible for early release.

 

Texas.   The land of hang-em-high.  (So not true)

 

Of course I was talking about time actually behind bars.   Which is an entirely different thing from the sentence.  That child porn producer had been sentenced to 18 years, two years before he registered in my town.  He'd also registered in a town before mine.  That could have registered while behind bars, or registered in a halfway house, or registered in the public.  I don't know which that one was.  

 

Also, I have read the profiles of at least 1000 sickos.   They move often, so every time I check it is an entirely new batch.  Not a single one of them was under 30 when the victim was over 13.  I suspect that people just claim that to be the case and then people never actually look it up.  

[umsami]

I get that there are probably ones I don't know about living near by. I also know (from experience) that my kids are far more at risk from people I know and trust. 

 

Still it's disturbing to me that a neighbor willingly rented to a sex offender.  I mean, every lease I've ever filled out has asked about convictions, felonies, etc.  This guy has two felonies.  And yet, the guy rented to him in a neighborhood filled with kids?

 

Argh. 

[kwickimom]

I am blessed- my town of 15,000 has strategically placed 13 parks around town so there is only 1 trailer park on the edge of town where an offender can live and there is currently only 1 there. 

Edited August 4, 2016 by kwickimom

[Anacharsis]

I wouldn't employ them, wouldn't speak to them, wouldn't rent to them, and wouldn't be a member of any group that would require/expect me to have any contact. 

The entire purpose of the sex offender registry is to allow individuals to choose how much (if any) contact they want to have with an offender. I choose zero contact. 

 

Makes sense -- so long as someone is willing to.

 

I suppose my perspective is that if I had to choose between having a sex-offender neighbor who has a job, a home, people who regularly keep in contact with him and check up with him, and a homeless drifter, no job, no friends, who feels like he has no place in the Real World anymore and maybe even no fear of going back to prison, I would vastly prefer the former.

 

[Ravin]

then there is my friend's dd who was repeatedly abused by her not quite five years older than her cousin before my friend found out. (the dd was 9, the cousin not quite 14).  friend's inlaws took the boy's side - because, favorite child and all.  the judge dismissed the case because they were just "experimenting".  my friend commented how unnatural he was when he'd watch children play.

 

he's now an adult, and serving a long sentence for pedophilia - he did start "somewhere", and an irresponsible judge dismissed the opportunity to corral his behavior before he hurt more children.

 

The reality is, your friend's cousin is the exception rather than the rule. Youth sex offenders are no more likely to re-offend than youth offenders for any other sort of crime, and no more likely to offend as adults than the general population.

[TranquilMind]

From out of state.  He plead guilty to two counts, was put on probation for 99 years, served some time, etc.  It was acts against a minor he was a custodian for.  He's also supposed to stay 100 feet away from schools, day cares, playgrounds, etc.   Apparently, a neighbor rented the house to him.  We have a big neighborhood playground and pool area and tons of kids in the neighborhood.

This is so disturbing.

 

Find the landlord on the property rolls and tell him. 

 

[MinivanMom]

No.  Every time there is discussion of sex offernders' registries, someone brings up this scenario, but these people are not registered.  They fall under the Romeo-and-Juliet laws. 

 

If someone on the sex offenders' registry tells you this is why, they are lying to you.

 

Years ago we had a man move into our congregation. It took about 6 months before someone figured out he was a registered sex offender, and then he gave the church leadership the whole song and dance about how he just been convicted for statutory rape with his underage girlfriend when he had just turned 18. Most everyone fell for it. There was one man in church leadership who didn't buy it and went to the trouble of contacting the original jurisdiction where the crime took place and requesting all the public records on the case. It turned out the guy had been convicted of raping several small girls (under age 8) in a previous congregation.

 

Don't ever take a sex offender's word for it when they claim they were convicted for just having sex with their slightly younger girlfriend. Guess what; sex offenders lie.

[Ravin]

No.  Every time there is discussion of sex offernders' registries, someone brings up this scenario, but these people are not registered.  They fall under the Romeo-and-Juliet laws. 

 

If someone on the sex offenders' registry tells you this is why, they are lying to you.

 

This varies from state to state. I live in a state with no Romeo-and-Juliet exception if a party is 14 or younger. You can be tried as an adult as a 14 year old for statutory rape of a fellow 14 year old (you could try both of the pair, actually). The age of consent is 18. Penalties get harsher for statutory rape if the minor is under 15. The romeo and juliet rule applies only to a legal adult if they are still in high school and to the older person only if they are within 2 years of age of the younger.  So a 15 year old can be tried (again, as an adult) for statutory rape of a 14 year old who is even just a few days younger. 

 

In Arizona you can also be placed on the state sex offender registry for repeat violations of the public indecent exposure law. 

[Scarlett]

Years ago we had a man move into our congregation. It took about 6 months before someone figured out he was a registered sex offender, and then he gave the church leadership the whole song and dance about how he just been convicted for statutory rape with his underage girlfriend when he had just turned 18. Most everyone fell for it. There was one man in church leadership who didn't buy it and went to the trouble of contacting the original jurisdiction where the crime took place and requesting all the public records on the case. It turned out the guy had been convicted of raping several small girls (under age 8) in a previous congregation.

 

Don't ever take a sex offender's word for it when they claim they were convicted for just having sex with their slightly younger girlfriend. Guess what; sex offenders lie.

I experienced that. I wasn't told directly by the SO but by someone else that he was on the registry because when he was a teenager he had a younger girlfriend. I looked it up and he as convicted when he was 28 years old. His victim was under age 16. So I don't know if he is actually telling that lie or someone misunderstood.

[Guest]

nevermind. I see this is being discussed already.

Edited August 5, 2016 by Quill

[Lanny]

OP I liked your first post, because I believe you brought up a very important (and common) issue.  In this case, you are fortunate, and you know who this person is and where he lives.  That he is in your neighborhood is bad, but that you and the Police know about it is good.

 

Possibly the worse side of this is someone like the Mayor of Stockton, California (you can Google him for recent news).  Years ago in Texas, I had neighbors on the same street who became dear friends. At the time, their girls were in Middle School and possibly High School. They were into Soccer.  I had been with them, in the apartment of their Coach, a man who also had young children.  Some years later, my friends told me the ex Coach had been arrested for Child Pornography or some other sex crime.  There are probably many predators who are involved with children's programs...

 

As parents, our job is to try to protect our children.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I am blessed- my town of 15,000 has strategically placed 13 parks around town so there is only 1 trailer park on the edge of town where an offender can live and there is currently only 1 there.

 

By this definition I grew up unblessed; we lived in the scary trailer park on the edge of town. I mean, families with children live in the poor places, too.

 

But what everyone is saying is so: the offenders on the registry are the ones who got caught. There are no guarantees in the pretty places, and children are most likely to be hurt by someone they know.

[Ravin]

I get that there are probably ones I don't know about living near by. I also know (from experience) that my kids are far more at risk from people I know and trust. 

 

Still it's disturbing to me that a neighbor willingly rented to a sex offender.  I mean, every lease I've ever filled out has asked about convictions, felonies, etc.  This guy has two felonies.  And yet, the guy rented to him in a neighborhood filled with kids?

 

Argh. 

 

Adult-only communities invariably have HOA's preventing owners from renting to whoever the HOA deems to be "the wrong sort of people." 

 

It's hard for felons in general, and much harder still for registered sex offenders to find a place to live. A stable place to live and stable employment are both factors which reduce the likelihood of an individual re-offending. If I was a landlord, I might give the individual's probation officer (if he's on lifetime probation) or the registry a call, and ask about his track record while under supervision. If he's been monitored for years and complies without a problem, and has a good track record with previous landlords, I wouldn't exclude him just based on that, even in a neighborhood with kids.

 

In your shoes I would probably have a fresh discussion of how to appropriately interact with strangers, and not to go into neighbors' homes or back yards without your express permission.

[Ravin]

I experienced that. I wasn't told directly by the SO but by someone else that he was on the registry because when he was a teenager he had a younger girlfriend. I looked it up and he as convicted when he was 28 years old. His victim was under age 16. So I don't know if he is actually telling that lie or someone misunderstood.

 

Date of conviction isn't necessarily date of offense. Some states have longer statutes of limitations than others. He could have been 18 with a 15 year old girlfriend (in my state, that would not be covered by the Romeo-and-Juliet clause), and had it reported 5 or 6 years later, and particularly if it went to trial, by the time they got around to the conviction, he's 28.

[Guest]

Can't get through this thread.

 

Every single time this comes up.

 

A gazelle doesn't think " gosh I'm glad I know that lioness is there. I'm not worried about the one I can see."

 

As for for whoever asked about reoffense rate once on the registry? For pedophiles and rapists in general?

 

High. Very high.

 

For whoever said the social price is higher than the criminal price?

 

CLEARLT NOT HIGH ENOUGH

 

Good luck umsami. That sucks full stop.

[Guest]

Can't get through this thread.

 

Every single time this comes up.

 

A gazelle doesn't think " gosh I'm glad I know that lioness is there. I'm not worried about the one I can see."

 

As for for whoever asked about reoffense rate once on the registry? For pedophiles and rapists in general?

 

High. Very high.

 

For whoever said the social price is higher than the criminal price?

 

CLEARLT NOT HIGH ENOUGH

 

Good luck umsami. That sucks full stop.