What is everyone's opinion on screen time?

[Halie]

I have a 2 1/2 year old, and i'm really curious as to how other mothers feel about screen time?

 

Thanks!

[marbel]

You are going to get a wide variety of responses here! 

 

At that age, I think my kids would get an hour a day (M-F) at the most.  There were probably many days they had none.  If we had a babysitter or I was having a bad day, though, it could be more.

 

That was TV.  We had no devices such as ipads when my kids were that age, and they didn't use the computer till they were older.  

[hornblower]

at that age for me it was zero. 

Not sure I'd be able to do that now but I'd be aiming as close to zero as possible. 

[shawthorne44]

At that age, only in an adult's lap using the desktop and something educational.   At that age, I combed DD's hair while she played on Starfall probably 3 hours a week.  Then we switched to ABCMouse, then ReadingEggs/Mathseeds.    But, for a little one, the free part of Starfall is perfect.  

 

One thing I'd avoid is the tablets.   Kids seem to get addicted to those easily.  

[JustEm]

Screentime is a tool I use for when I need a serious break. I've been sick since yesterday morning. Since dh has been working the TV and wiiU have been the babysitter since yesterday morning. Normally,screentime is an hour a day some days and none others.

[Ananda]

This is one area where my philosophical beliefs don't match my reality.  I think a screen free/ low screen existence is best for toddlers & preschoolers.  I have found that difficult and pretty much gave up.  

 

My husband & I like to watch movies/TV in the evenings, we use computers, my husband was a video gamer.  When our first child was born I couldn't figure out what "counted" as screen time.  If the TV is on in the room in which baby is playing, is that screen time?  I would make sure he was otherwise engaged with nursing or playing.  It evolved to a little bit of computer time on a parent's lap, when he was a toddler.  We would watch youtube videos or buddy mouse children's computer games like starfall or fungooms.  When I got pregnant with my second child when he was 2 the flood gates opened.  At that point he started watching children's TV shows & documentaries on Netflix when I was too tired.  We built him his own computer out of old parts for him to play his little games.  When he broke two adult tablets as a preschooler we decided to get him a Nabi kids tablet.

 

I feel conflicted about all of this.  I don't think it was reasonable for me to expect to raise children of two tetchy & plugged-in parents screen-free.  I do think we swung to far in the other direction.  My children are now 6, 3 & 7 mos.  Instead of focusing on how much, I think about two things.  

 

First, I endeavor to make their screen-time edifying.  We play fun games on the wii as a family, just in the way we play table top games.  I let them use educational software & TV shows.  Quality is the order of the day.

 

Second, I make sure they are doing plenty of other things as well.  If they are playing with their no-tech toys & imaginations, if they spend hours outdoors and are active, if they enjoy books & family time; then I let my concerns about screen time go.  The children naturally self-regulate the time reasonably well.  When they don't, and they start complaining about being bored without a screen, we do a whole family screen free week.  The screen free week always works to reset our whole family into remembering the joy in a well-balanced life.

[lovinmyboys]

At that age screen time is at my discretion. My older ones got very little. My younger ones have had more. I use it when I need it. My 2 preschoolers usually play a tablet while we are at their big siblings violin lesson. They played them yesterday while I was at the dentist. It is really cold here today so they will probably sit in the car with me tonight and play them while their brother plays baseball. They usually get screen time every day, but I save it for things like that.

 

When my olders were 2 they usually got to watch a show either when I cooked dinner or when I took a shower.

[regentrude]

At that age screen time was zero. I find kids that age have plenty of other things to do, am not happy with the quality of almost all children's programming, and have developmental concerns about early use of screens.

My kids were allowed to watch one movie on weekend nights starting at age 4 or 5, none on school nights because time was too valuable. We do not have a TV, did not allow daily cartoons or computer games.

At teen age, none of the kids had any restrictions on screen time.

 

 

 

[Alice]

At that age it was zero with my first, minimal with my second and more than I liked with my third. 

 

We haven't had hard and fast rules about screen time ever but keep it to no more than about an hour a day at any age. That varies with seasons and wahte else is going on in our lives and what it is we are doing. We didn't have TV until my oldest was 7 and even now have one but watch it very little. We don't have gaming systems but do allow some computer games. We don't have handheld devices so when we go somewhere they take a book or something else to keep them occupied. 

 

Now that my oldest is 12 and in 7th grade he uses screens for school or emailing or for looking up things that are semi-educational (he wants to look up something he read about or listen to a piano piece on you tube). 

 

We have very few arguments or whining about screen time here. That may just be the personality of the kids. But looking back I think it helps to limit screen time when they are younger so that they get used to it being an occasional thing and not the norm and so that they get used to finding other things to do. My kids like watching movies and funny videos online and playing games but they also like reading and doing art and being outside and other stuff. 

[Tanaqui]

Ideally, none or - at most - half an hour or so watched with mom/dad/whoever and used as something to talk about.

 

However, I'm not sitting around judging people who really, really appreciate letting the kid have something to do while they cook dinner or lie around being sick.

 

I *do* have strong feelings on keeping the TV on when nobody is actively watching it, and I can cite studies to back those feelings up.

[TammyS]

From day to day we do zero screen time for the kids (all ages), except online classes for the teen.  We do indulge in large blocks occasionally, though (if someone is sick, if it's a holiday, etc).  There's no hard and fast rule.  We just have 1 TV and it's in the parental bedroom.  I find having it not in our living spaces makes it not something that we default to easily, so we usually just do something else.  In order to indulge in screen time, we have to drag the TV and Roku (no cable) out to the living room, and that's usually more trouble than it's worth.

[shawthorne44]

Screentime is a tool I use for when I need a serious break. I've been sick since yesterday morning. Since dh has been working the TV and wiiU have been the babysitter since yesterday morning. Normally,screentime is an hour a day some days and none others.

 

 

I forgot one heavy use of screen time when DD was almost 3.   We had just started on ABCMouse, she was progressing on the path.   Then one weekend she was very sick.   She spent Saturday in my arms listening to ABCMouse songs for hours.   Sunday was the same only with the stories.  That ruined the path for us, though, because DD doesn't like repeats.  

[Minerva]

Zero at that age. 

 

We do not have a TV in the house, but my kids watch a movie on Netflix every weekend on the computer. They also do some school related things on the computer. We have had times in our house where we experimented with more screen time, but I can't stand to police them, and they didn't self regulate well in this area. It seems like, for us,  just a little bit of screen time squelches any other creativity/projects. We have all agreed that it is best just to keep our hard, fast rules for now. This is an organic process and I am sure will evolve over the years. 

 

I am not completely against screens. I do see kids who use them wisely. We just have a system that is working for us, for now. 

[mamiof5]

It really varies for us, depending on the day, and the time in our lives. I feel bad, but our 19month old watches a lot of TV (Clifford the big red dog). We don't do tablets or anything else. Why? It's the only way I can get stuff done with the others. Hoping it's temporary? This is what works for now...

[BarbecueMom]

Much more than I'd like. If anyone has a way without a screen to keep a 2.5yo silent beyond his age capabilities when one parent is sick and the other is working from home (and on the phone) and there is no option for a third adult to supervise, plus two older kids who can make an obscene amount of noise when "playing quietly", I'm all ears. Right now I have a massively inconsistent sinus headache. When the world stopped spinning and I got out of bed at noon, DH had been on the phone most of the morning while the kids played video games (or watched while playing with a toy nearby). I have no idea how people do this without screens.

[mamiof5]

I *do* have strong feelings on keeping the TV on when nobody is actively watching it, and I can cite studies to back those feelings up.

Would you mind elaborating on this? My mom has to have the TV on, all day...drives me crazy, I just can't. I do enjoy turning on the classical music channel, but other stuff just becomes noise. Unfortunately right now we are using TV a lot, but hoping it's not permanent. My mom says that a doctor told her she needed to have the TV on to hear voices? (She lives alone, but has grandkids over several times during the week). I just can't stand it, I need silence. What's your take on TV on while no one is watching?

[Tanaqui]

Aside from the fact that I think it's tacky and super declasse? Not to mention impolite if there are other people in the house?

 

Background noise - including television - interferes with children's learning.

 

I can drag up the specific articles later, but it interferes with their ability to learn to speak, their attention span, and their general cognitive skills.

[lllll]

nm

Edited May 16, 2016 by _ ?^..

[Rachel]

At that age I think as little as possible. It's easier to teach them to entertain themselves if you don't use screens.

 

The reality is that I let my kids watch a show on pbs kids while I showered when my second was that age. I knew they weren't getting into things if they were watching tv.

 

I notice big behavior issues with my oldest (now 8) when he watches any tv so it is very limited around my house.

[monstermama]

I shoot for 30 minutes max a day, and I prefer him playing games on the iPad to watching videos.  He'll often go several days without asking for TV or the iPad.  It's a lot easier now that he and the baby are older, but it was a lifesaver when they were younger when I had to take a shower or make dinner.  Nowadays he's much more interested in playing with her or "helping" me cook.  I'm sure it'll cycle back around when the baby reaches that crazy toddler age.

 

Dh will often watch a show in the evening when he's home, but it's not usually something DS is interested in.

[AK_Mom4]

DD15 was very sick from age 2.5 to about 8yo. We used screen time (TV and computer games) quite a bit to help while away the long hours. When she was feeling good, she played outside in all types of weather, but on Bad Days playing endless Dors The Explore videos and Reader Rabbit on the computer helped pass time while stuck in bed.

 

She is still a voracious reader, draws for hours a day, hangs out with friends and plays sports and is active, so I don't think the early screen time did her any harm.

[vonbon]

I would also say as little as possible.  

 

The American Academy of Pediatrics came out with some screen time guidelines for the Under 2 set when my first was a baby.  I thought if an organization like that was willing to post recommendations, they were probably pretty well-founded.  Further reading backs that up.  

 

We are TV-, tablet-, and phone-free, but I do allow 1/2-hour to 1 hour of shows per day via laptop that I help my kids select.  I really find that they excel at creative play and, most days, they are so absorbed in their play, they don't even remember to ask if they can watch a show.  So, on average, it probably adds up to 3 or so hours per week.  They are under 7.  As someone mentioned above, my second child has watched more, earlier, than my first--which I don't like.  

 

If I know they've had a high-pressure day (travel, a party, lots of activities or events), I'll put a show on at the end of the day so they can relax a bit.  They know the limit, so they generally don't ask for more and if they do, I politely say no.  Whining = no shows at all, so that's never really been a problem.  Other days, when I think they'd be better-engaged outside or doing something else, I'll say, "Not today because...I need your help with X job or project...I think you need to play outside for a bit...Tomorrow you may watch a show."  They accept these limits and, in no time, find other engaging things to do.  

 

I do allow quite a TON of mess in terms of creative stuff, art, beads, yarn, pretend play, forts, whatever around the living room.  It's a hassle and takes energy to guide them as they clean up, but I think their time is better spent being creative and inventing than watching TV, so I build the time/energy into my schedule and have learned to live with some level of chaos.  Ideally, the main living spaces get cleaned up every evening.  The mess is hard for us as adults, but it's worth it.  

 

Though I know it's not possible for some families, my kids are free to go outside and roam our property at any time, though they stay close by.  They can go to the garden by themselves and have learned what they can pick/plant/do.  I don't put restrictions on what they do in the garage and the front yard, so things can get fairly messy at times: large holes dug to China, tools left out, sidewalk chalk all over, sawdust and mud "pies", colored sand "experiments", etc.  I think in time they'll learn to clean up as they go.  I hope!  For now, Mom and Dad help direct clean up time when we can or when the level gets to a point we can't overlook.

 

They do use Starfall (maybe 15 minutes for the 4yo) and math games (7yo) on some school days, so that ups the total.

 

I don't want to be militant, but I greatly detest / despair what screens are doing to our culture and people's brains so...I think limits are good.  I also think this limited screen time has led to my 7yo's flourishing reading and artistic skills.  4yo is highly-motivated to learn to read.  I assume the screen time will go up as they age due to simply functioning in this world and not becoming complete cultural misfits (thought that might not be a bad thing--LOL!)

 

A bit of benign "boredom" is good and leads to creative thinking.  I've almost never used the word "bored" around my kids, so I don't think they really see it as a negative...  

[TammyS]

Would you mind elaborating on this? My mom has to have the TV on, all day...drives me crazy, I just can't. I do enjoy turning on the classical music channel, but other stuff just becomes noise. Unfortunately right now we are using TV a lot, but hoping it's not permanent. My mom says that a doctor told her she needed to have the TV on to hear voices? (She lives alone, but has grandkids over several times during the week). I just can't stand it, I need silence. What's your take on TV on while no one is watching?

 

I'm pretty sure he meant for times when she's alone, not when she has people over. 

 

Like you I can. not. abide. TV on that no one is watching.  People I know who are like that, I do not go to their houses.  I meet them other places or have them over.

[Tanaqui]

Like you I can. not. abide. TV on that no one is watching.  People I know who are like that, I do not go to their houses.  I meet them other places or have them over.

 

Likewise. I don't usually tell people to their face what I said upthread, but I'm not going to willingly spend time in that environment. It's half a step above being in a home with a bunch of chain smokers - they can do what they like, I don't need to be there.

 

[dirty ethel rackham]

At that age, we aimed for nothing.  But, with younger siblings, it didn't work out like that.  DD often got screen time just tagging along with her siblings.  By the time she was 3, we did let her watch Clifford on PBS, but that was because it was while I was making dinner and it helped me get through prep efficiently.  Also, even at older ages we had a general rule of no recreational screen time until after 4pm.  I may have had short assignments on the computer or a short video, but it was planned by me.  Even games that were "educational" were not allowed until later because it eliminated fights screen time and it made space for self-directed learning and play.  Now, if I was sick or one of the kids was too sick to concentrate on school, all bets were off.  We just had to set timers to make sure a certain kid would remember to go to the bathroom. :glare:

[mamiof5]

I'm pretty sure he meant for times when she's alone, not when she has people over.

 

Like you I can. not. abide. TV on that no one is watching. People I know who are like that, I do not go to their houses. I meet them other places or have them over.

Yeah, I'd think too. The TV is on all the time, just can't stand it. And to each their own...I NEED my silence :)

[Tanaqui]

Just saw this sorta related link: Why kids' screen time is a feminist issue.

[TranquilMind]

I have a 2 1/2 year old, and i'm really curious as to how other mothers feel about screen time?

 

Thanks!

 

Well, one of mine who is in his late teens just thanked me last week for not getting internet until he was well into his teens.  He said that the stuff he would have been exposed to would have been bad for him and he is glad we kept him away from screens until he was much older and able to handle it.

For a 2 year old, no screens at all.

For preschool, maybe a child classic movie once a week with the family.

Trust me, it does not affect internet abilities at all.  They can all do far more than I can, because they pick it up immediately.    I think it is best to let imagination develop naturally and I believe screen time diminishes that. 

 

I'm sure others disagree, but I am not sorry about what I did.  Mine have amazing attention spans because they were allowed to play and build for hours around the house without interruptions.  Screens interrupt you constantly and redirect your attention to something they want to sell. 

 

 

[TammyS]

Just saw this sorta related link: Why kids' screen time is a feminist issue.

 

This is why I can't get next to feminists.  They want to make everything a feminist issue.

 

I'm sure some people do judge moms who let their kids use screens, but so what?  "Other people judge me" is not the standard a grown up uses in decision making.

 

And some of the assumptions are just, dumb.  Like the assumption that the women who are being judged are being judged for making their lives easier.  I doubt it.  When they are being judged they are being judged 1. because some people are jerks and are always looking for something, anything, to judge about  and 2. those people have determined that screens are so bad for kids that it's worthy of judging the mom about (in their minds).  I doubt very much anyone looked at a mom and thought, "What a bad mom, making her life easier like that!"  But if they did, see above, so what? 

 

The assumption that screens are the only way to go out to a restaurant, in peace, with kids.  This isn't the 50's where no one expects to see a kid in a restaurant (though, honestly, as a mom who has taken her kids to restaurants plenty of times, I would LOVE to find a place that is adult exclusive for a real, kid-free night away with my dh).  I don't give my kids screens in public, and yet we've managed many dozens of peaceful meals.  And so have many, many other people that I know.  Now, I don't care if others do use screens for that, but I do mind the assumption that kids are such animals that they can't learn to behave in a restaurant, or other public space. 

 

 

[SKL]

At all ages, I consider screen time a filler if you can't find anything else to do.  (For adults too.)  I prefer for young kids to have no screen time most days.

 

There are some movies / videos I consider valuable for cultural literacy or other learning purposes.  So I maintain a stock of them which I use to satisfy my kids' desire for passive screen time.  We still don't / never have done "fun" screen time on a daily basis.  Usually there isn't time for that after school, sports, homework, meals, chores, etc.

 

As kids get older, it makes sense to let them have more freedom re screen time, so they can learn how to manage it for themselves.  The right age for this probably varies from kid to kid.  I'm thinking at age 2.5 it's not a priority yet.  :)

[Tanaqui]

I'm sure some people do judge moms who let their kids use screens, but so what?  "Other people judge me" is not the standard a grown up uses in decision making.

 

If you live in a society, "society disapproves of this" is very much a standard you use when decision making. Humans are social animals. Social opprobrium is how humans function.

 

[SKL]

I've actually had people judge me for not allowing screen time / not having an ipad etc.

 

I really don't care.  :)

 

There is some truth to the idea that *some* people judge mothers who make the easy choice.  For example, leaving the kids in a car for a few minutes instead of dragging them across the parking lot.  Kids get run over in parking lots more than they get killed sitting in cars (especially when it isn't hot/sunny out), but leaving them in the car looks like you are taking a parenting shortcut.  So, you can get publicly shamed and even arrested for that, even if your kid was never in any actual danger.

 

The number of times I've seen the comment "if you didn't want to take the extra [unnecessary] effort, you shouldn't have had kids" is sickening.  It's usually said in connection with a parenting choice that did not harm any child.

[Mama Geek]

Dd watched Letter Factory, Numbers Ahoy, Lil Pim, signing time for an hour or 2 a week.  If we made long trips she was allowed it as much as she wanted while in the car.  She still only watches a movie on occasion and has a math facts games that we give her unlimited time  on for now.  Dd is almost 6.

[Joanne]

At that age, it was limited.

 

Around school age, it was only after school (I homeschooled at that point.)

 

Pre-teen and teen, the amount of time (and the content, for the most part) was determined by the child. I would have stepped in if it moved towards too much/addiction.

 

If I recall correctly, there were times my kids were more vulnerable to picking up attitudes and behaviors influenced by the content. As such, I didn't allow Rug Rats or Arthur. And sometimes limited Power Rangers.

 

 

[OnMyOwn]

Just saw this sorta related link: Why kids' screen time is a feminist issue.

Wow, I can't get on board with that article at all. I don't limit screen time because I'm worried about what other people think of me. I do it because I love my kids and I feel like they are missing out on life if they spend a huge chunk of time in front of the screen. Daydreaming, thinking, planning, developing hobbies, moving around and DOING things, rather than passively being entertained while lying on the couch -- that's why I limit screen time.

 

I was just saying to my dd today that I was grateful the full internet/iphone explosion didn't come around until later in her and her brother's childhood. Both of my kids did enjoy watching an hour or two of videos in the evening throughout their elementary years, but we had rules about it and it was easy to regulate. I think it's really tough now with tablets and iphones and the schools requiring so much work online. I struggle with it at this point with my teens, partly because of them taking online classes and having to do so much work on the internet, but at least I had many years where it was no big deal. It still makes me sad because they don't really understand what they are missing. It does feel like an uphill battle and maybe it's one I can't win, but I will still make the effort because it's important to me.

 

OP, if you are playing a game as a family, I think that's great, whether it is on a screen or out of a box. Personally, I would limit the amount of video games and movies young children watch, though. Every kid is different, but I think it can set up bad habits.

[greenbeanmama]

We avoided all screens until age two.  Then, they occasionally got a couple of youtube videos (Laurie Berkner, etc).  Currently, they routinely get about 60-90 minutes on Sunday afternoon when they all play Super Mario Brothers, as well as a few short videos for school (under 10 minutes each, maybe twice a week).

 

The grandparents always have the television on.  Combine the unlimited screentime and the constant supply of junk food, and we always have a rough week after we visit the grandparents - we call it Detox Week.  I've noticed major changes in behavior and ability to keep themselves entertained when screentime has been increased, so I try to keep it very minimal for my children.

 

Television tends to suck *me* in.  My husband watches a lot of Netflix on his computer (which the children can't see unless they're in the computer room), and it's often not even shows I like watching.  But if I go in to ask him something, I get sucked in.  If I struggle with that, how can I ask my children to self regulate any better?  I recently got a smart phone (against my will, but I had no say in the matter), and I purposely have not installed much on it, and make a point of not using it as much as possible.  I hate to see parents ignore their children because they're addicted to their phones...

[Ausmumof3]

This is one area where my philosophical beliefs don't match my reality. I think a screen free/ low screen existence is best for toddlers & preschoolers. I have found that difficult and pretty much gave up.

 

My husband & I like to watch movies/TV in the evenings, we use computers, my husband was a video gamer. When our first child was born I couldn't figure out what "counted" as screen time. If the TV is on in the room in which baby is playing, is that screen time? I would make sure he was otherwise engaged with nursing or playing. It evolved to a little bit of computer time on a parent's lap, when he was a toddler. We would watch youtube videos or buddy mouse children's computer games like starfall or fungooms. When I got pregnant with my second child when he was 2 the flood gates opened. At that point he started watching children's TV shows & documentaries on Netflix when I was too tired. We built him his own computer out of old parts for him to play his little games. When he broke two adult tablets as a preschooler we decided to get him a Nabi kids tablet.

 

I feel conflicted about all of this. I don't think it was reasonable for me to expect to raise children of two tetchy & plugged-in parents screen-free. I do think we swung to far in the other direction. My children are now 6, 3 & 7 mos. Instead of focusing on how much, I think about two things.

 

First, I endeavor to make their screen-time edifying. We play fun games on the wii as a family, just in the way we play table top games. I let them use educational software & TV shows. Quality is the order of the day.

 

Second, I make sure they are doing plenty of other things as well. If they are playing with their no-tech toys & imaginations, if they spend hours outdoors and are active, if they enjoy books & family time; then I let my concerns about screen time go. The children naturally self-regulate the time reasonably well. When they don't, and they start complaining about being bored without a screen, we do a whole family screen free week. The screen free week always works to reset our whole family into remembering the joy in a well-balanced life.

This is approximately how it works in our house.

[Lucy the Valiant]

I'm reading a fascinating book on the developing research that is out there regarding children / teens and screens - Parenting in the Age of Attention Snatchers, by Lucy Jo Palladina, Ph.D.

 

It touches on the origins of varying types of brain activity connected to screens (whether top-down / beginning in the prefrontal lobes, or bottom-up / originating at the more involuntary brain stem regions), and is actually a fascinating and encouraging approach to balance. I'm not done reading it, but so far it is an excellent analysis of attention control (overlapping executive function) and the reasons behind the guidelines, whichever ones you settle on personally.

 

$.02

 

 

(And if you or your children have worked through Ellen McHenry's BRAIN unit (intro to neurology), the terminology and explanations are THAT MUCH MORE interesting! I'm going to have my middle schoolers read parts of this book when I'm done.)