Aspasia Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 (edited) My ds5 is not a terribly energetic child. He prefers to play inside, usually with Legos or drawing. He has celiac disease, and one of the things that really tipped me off that something was wrong was that he just didn't have the same energy as other kids. Well, he's been on a gluten-free diet for a year and a half, his lab work is good, but he still isn't as active as most other kids. But we'd like to help him find *something* active that he can love. Some info about him: -He doesn't like competition (because he lacks confidence and is a pretty sore loser). -He lives in dd8's shadow, so we would like to give him something completely different from her soccer and basketball. -He's pretty sensitive. -He struggles a bit with social skills. He's very introverted and not really confident when it comes to making friends or initiating social interactions. What would be good for him? Gymnastics? Martial arts? (Which martial art?) Swimming, maybe? Tap dance??? Edited December 22, 2015 by Bucolic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 (edited) The thing that strikes me with swimming is whether he gets cold? Kids that get cold easily often don't like to swim. I think gymnastics, or ballet (or Scottish or Irish dancing, etc), or martial arts, could all be good. I would consider trying them all, since he's only 5. You might find that the teacher or school that fits his personality is more important than which activity. If he isn't very competitive, as time goes on some schools really emphasize competition, and that might not be such a good fit. In the better Irish dancing group here for example, if you don't compete, you can't advance. But there are Scottish country dancing groups that are completely recreational. And twice weekly martial arts coops that are recreational and cheap, where all ages of kids are together. Edited December 22, 2015 by Bluegoat 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I think any of the ones you listed would be fine, you may need to try several to find one that clicks with him. Along similar lines (individual sorts of sports since it sounds like that may be a better fit than aggressive team sports): Ice skating/speed skating Irish dance (super fun and boys fare way better in competitions, show him some Riverdance/Lord of the Dance clips to see if he might be interested) Tumbling--there is competitive tumbling for boys and girls Rock climbing Ballet My very anxious, not very active child really blossomed once we put her in Irish dance. And I would never, ever have guessed it but--she loves the competitive aspect. Sometimes our kids surprise us :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aspasia Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 I think any of the ones you listed would be fine, you may need to try several to find one that clicks with him. Along similar lines (individual sorts of sports since it sounds like that may be a better fit than aggressive team sports): Ice skating/speed skating Irish dance (super fun and boys fare way better in competitions, show him some Riverdance/Lord of the Dance clips to see if he might be interested) Tumbling--there is competitive tumbling for boys and girls Rock climbing Ballet My very anxious, not very active child really blossomed once we put her in Irish dance. And I would never, ever have guessed it but--she loves the competitive aspect. Sometimes our kids surprise us :) Yeah, I definitely wonder if he could grow more comfortable with competition if he could get into something where he has a chance to feel really competent first. I think the problem with team sports is that the whole thing is about competition. But in dance, they just get to dance for a few years before they compete, you know? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 The key with a swim team is finding one that does not focus on elite competition but on strengthening all of their swimmers. Karate or Tae Kwon Do are also excellent choices. Find a dojo that stresses individual achievement and how earning the next belt is the reward for hard work. Not one that gives out trophies and medals at every turn. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faithr Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 (edited) I had similar children. None are especially athletic. They all had eye problems so they couldn't play ball games. They shrunk from competition. At age 5 I would just sign them up for rec classes that were basically fun gym classes. They'd play modified versions of sports inside the gym. Another fun one they had was tumbling, which wasn't exactly gymnastics but sort of a gentle precursor to it. When they got older I actually called and talked to local gyms and set up the same kind of mixed aged, modified and focused on fun gym classes for homeschoolers. My kids are older and aren't involved anymore but I understand there is something like that going on now at the nearby YMCA. Another class they liked was a running class. The coach was amazing. He worked with all kinds of kids, those who were overweight, those who were trying to enhance their performance in sports. He would teach them how to stretch and warm up correctly and then they'd run. My kids loved it. My kids all wound up getting their physical activity from hiking, biking, working out. The girls like dance. Edited December 22, 2015 by Faithr 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 For my DD, a rec level competitive cheer team (Young Champions/Champion Force) worked/works. It's a no cut, skills based program, competition is done with the team, not alone, and it's very positive. It's a good fit for my DD with motor delays and sensory issues. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 rock climbing, hiking, orienteering with you? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Dance and/ or theater. Golf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I agree that sports/activities based on personal merit (even within a team ) are likely to be a good fit. Running was the ticket for DS, but swimming, skiing and cycling offer the same opportunities. There are a lot of "fringe" sports for our non typical, non ball sport kids. Keep an eye out for what is available in your area and take him to events if possible to see what interests him. Or, do like we did and stick him in something he is totally incapable of and see what happens. ;) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Mixed level martial arts with a spiritual focus? Or at least with a development focus. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 First I require swimming until child is proficient in a couple of strokes and can continuously swim several lengths of a 25 meter pool. So that is not meant to be a fun activity--its just a bonus if child also likes it. My DC did swim and something. Martial arts and gymnastics can be fun and can be taken through community rec programs until you reach a point of deciding child is serious. Ballet could be a good choice for a boy like this. Many Studios have a discount for boy classes and work hard to make them fun at this age. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeking Squirrels Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Scottish Highland dance has been great for my DD7. It is competition based around here, but it's not the constant thought, if that makes sense. It's not like a team sport where every single week they win or lose. Most of the year it's just dance class and they may even do a couple performances or parades. Then there's competition season which you don't have to participate in if you don't want to, but pretty much everyone does. Even at competition though, it's not a clear, "you won, you lost" like a soccer game. Some people place, some don't. It's been great for her confidence and her coordination (she has spd). It's also a great workout because they are quite literally jumping/hopping through the whole dance. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Gymnastics and Tae kwon do are probably good options. Tae kwon do is a good confidence builder too if that's an issue. We've only been doing a term but my kids are crazy for it. It is very non competitive and focussed on helping each other. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 One I haven't seen mentioned, which may or may not be available near you: parkour. We have an independent parkour gym now, but used to go to a chain: Urban Evolution. Classes start at 4 yo. Emphasis on safety, they earn bands, classes on eating healthy and staying fit. And - parkour is cool! They also offered free running, arial silks, and a ton of other cool stuff. This was great for our kid in vision therapy, promotes body awareness. And, umm, again - kids think it's cool. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicianmom Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 (edited) dance Edited May 22, 2022 by musicianmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Sometimes it is hard to find a sport that a kid likes. Youngest has yet to find his sport. Eldest found his, long distance running. It is great for people who don't like group activities.. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 -He doesn't like competition (because he lacks confidence and is a pretty sore loser). -He lives in dd8's shadow, so we would like to give him something completely different from her soccer and basketball. -He's pretty sensitive. -He struggles a bit with social skills. He's very introverted and not really confident when it comes to making friends or initiating social interactions. The above describes my DS to a T at that age. I kind of forced him into Tae Kwon Do, at a small local dojang that was very supportive and noncompetitive. He did not like having to "perform" in front of other people, and I thought he was going to pass out when he took his first belt test, but eventually he got into it and enjoyed it as an activity, although he never had any interest in competing. He did that for about 2 years I think. Then he tried rock climbing, which is great for people who want something solitary and noncompetitive, but he has a low tolerance for frustration and he has the wrong body type for rock climbing (super tall). He did that for about a year. Then I took him to a fencing club, just to try it out, since he liked playing with nerf swords — and he found the perfect sport for him. IME there are a lot of smart, sensitive, quirky, introverted kids in fencing. It's kind of the chess of the sports world, so he was just one socially awkward kid among many, lol. This is not a kid I would ever, in a million years, have imagined as an athlete; he was the kind of kid who was always bumping into things, falling out of his chair for no apparent reason, tripping over his own feet. Now he's a national medalist, ranked in the top 20 in his age group. He can compete in front of hundreds of people, and stand on a podium with cameras flashing, and smile instead of feeling like he's about to puke and pass out, lol. And ironically, he is still not a competitive person — for him, it's not about beating the other guy, it's about fencing as well as he's capable of. He would much rather lose to a top competitor, after fencing really well, than beat a lesser fencer by a wide margin. So if you have a fencing club anywhere near you, I would definitely check it out. Classes for the little ones are focused on having fun and gaining confidence. Plus there's the bonus of wearing a mask — no one can see you cry when you lose or get frustrated. ;) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 (edited) Wow. My son is 10, has celiac, and he could be your son's best friend based on that description. So weird!! Going to read for suggestions now! ETA: My son loves to go for walks in the woods but they have to have a purpose other than just "hiking" like looking for creatures. Edited December 22, 2015 by cintinative 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Martial arts, if you can find a good dojo nearby. Ask other parents for their recommendations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Do any places around you offer skill clinics? They're usually short, pre-season (about 6 weeks long) classes that work only on the different skills needed for say, basketball or soccer, or even dance. It lets kids try them out before making a team commitment to see if they even like the activity. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 My son started swim team--summer, low key, fun-- at age . He is not a very competitive person, but he swam on the team until he was 18 years old. He is very thin, and so he got cold, but he got over it, too. He also liked tennis, golf, and skiing. His senior year, he was captain of the tennis team. :0) He *hated* martial arts. He *hated* soccer. Here's what I think worked for him: being an individual contributor on a team...someone upthread worded it better than I. He was basically competing against his own best times, swimming, and he contributed to team points, but no one could ever point at him and say, "You missed the goal kick and cost us the game!" Skiing, he liked for the form of it, the technique, not the speed. He was a beautiful skier. Tennis was the most competitive of all the sports he played, and he only did it junior and senior years as part of a team where his contribution was noticeable. He HATED martial arts with a passion, because no matter how good he got (:::eyeroll::: like he's going to be an expert at 9!), it was always a *process* and he never really got a measurement of how he was doing. Soccer he hated because he couldn't stand letting a whole team of people down. (He totally got that from me. I'm still not over costing our junior high softball team all three outs in one inning. LOL) And he really is NOT a runner or aggressive...which you have to be in soccer. He doesn't have the body shape for running...never has. Anyway, I tell this long story because maybe you will identify similar or different motivations. Oh--he also liked the sports he liked because he had one per season and one season "off". I personally like the sports he chose because they are life sports...you can do them forever. Not as easy with team sports. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I'm going to suggest swimming. My oldest ds16 is an indoor, play with legos kind of kid. He also was not much for competing (he is more now, but he was never a sore loser). he loves swimming. He has done swimming since he was 5 years old. All of my kids swim. It's been good for all of them, including the ones who were sore losers. :D They each have learned a lot and get plenty of physical activity from the sport. We had two kids on our swim team who were gluten free (I'm unsure if they were celiac) and they did great swimming. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I'm going to suggest swimming. My oldest ds16 is an indoor, play with legos kind of kid. He also was not much for competing (he is more now, but he was never a sore loser). he loves swimming. He has done swimming since he was 5 years old. All of my kids swim. It's been good for all of them, including the ones who were sore losers. :D They each have learned a lot and get plenty of physical activity from the sport. We had two kids on our swim team who were gluten free (I'm unsure if they were celiac) and they did great swimming. Learning not to be a sore loser is really important. I loved our swim team guys--they always shook hands with the competition at the end of a race. Very cool. The other great thing about swimming is that they are so CLEAN! :0) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Mine have done trampolining and ice skating. A friend's daughter does 'circus school'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Indoor Rock climbing! My son sounds similar to yours and he has excelled at this new sport! It's worth check into. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebbyribs Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 My kids enjoy taking a nature class which has them hiking outdoors (in all kids of weather), building shelters, playing active games, and caring for farm animals. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aspasia Posted December 23, 2015 Author Share Posted December 23, 2015 Such good ideas! And I never would have thought of most of them. Thank you, thank you! About swim team, how good do they need to be before they can do that? Our HOA has a little swim team that competes against other neighborhoods, but I've never thought to sign my kids up, because we aren't the best about swim lessons (used to do them with dd8, but it was kinda pointless, because we never took her the pool outside of that—the pool is HARD with one adult and four littles!). Maybe I'll have to look into that. The above describes my DS to a T at that age. I kind of forced him into Tae Kwon Do, at a small local dojang that was very supportive and noncompetitive. He did not like having to "perform" in front of other people, and I thought he was going to pass out when he took his first belt test, but eventually he got into it and enjoyed it as an activity, although he never had any interest in competing. He did that for about 2 years I think. Then he tried rock climbing, which is great for people who want something solitary and noncompetitive, but he has a low tolerance for frustration and he has the wrong body type for rock climbing (super tall). He did that for about a year. Then I took him to a fencing club, just to try it out, since he liked playing with nerf swords — and he found the perfect sport for him. IME there are a lot of smart, sensitive, quirky, introverted kids in fencing. It's kind of the chess of the sports world, so he was just one socially awkward kid among many, lol. This is not a kid I would ever, in a million years, have imagined as an athlete; he was the kind of kid who was always bumping into things, falling out of his chair for no apparent reason, tripping over his own feet. Now he's a national medalist, ranked in the top 20 in his age group. He can compete in front of hundreds of people, and stand on a podium with cameras flashing, and smile instead of feeling like he's about to puke and pass out, lol. And ironically, he is still not a competitive person — for him, it's not about beating the other guy, it's about fencing as well as he's capable of. He would much rather lose to a top competitor, after fencing really well, than beat a lesser fencer by a wide margin. So if you have a fencing club anywhere near you, I would definitely check it out. Classes for the little ones are focused on having fun and gaining confidence. Plus there's the bonus of wearing a mask — no one can see you cry when you lose or get frustrated. ;) This is super helpful. I'm gonna look into fencing! Mine have done trampolining and ice skating. A friend's daughter does 'circus school'. Circus school?!? How cool is that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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