Studid things you learned not to do from experience. Humorous thread.

[Kris]

I can't stop laughing -- but I can't stop reading, either. This is *too* much fun!

[Harriet Vane]

When riding a bike on campus and coming across a freshly killed squirrel, don't stick it in your backpack and bring it back to your fraternity house.

 

When coming back to one's fraternity house with a dead squirrel in one's backpack after a day of classes, don't freeze the squirrel for posterity.

 

As the proud owner of a dead, frozen squirrel, don't spend months making various fraternity brothers and miscellaneous others scream like girls and do a gross-out dance when the dead, frozen squirrel is thrust into one's face at odd moments.

 

Because . . .

 

If you have been as foolish as this, you may wake up one day in your bed with thawing squirrel guts sloshing on your face and the sight of your squirrel, sawed in half, spinning from the ceiling fan of your room.

 

(This one is from dh. He was NOT the owner of the squirrel, nor was he the frustrated man who affixed said squirrel to the fan. He was, however, pleased that the reign of terror had ended in their fraternity house.)

[Zelda]

When driving down the interstate, don't decide to open the window and shake the crumbs out of the bag of banana bread. The driver behind you won't like you. Trust me.

 

*choke*

 

Coffee out the nose.

 

:lol:

[5kidsforME]

If you are writing a thread about stupid things you have done, don't misspell stupid in the title. I honestly just noticed this today.

 

 

:smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

[Zelda]

I call it, "Driving While Asian". Ironically, I was at the Asian market and kept hitting the same shopping cart over and over and over again. My son finally said, "Momma, I think you are just going to have to get out of the car and move it."

 

My mom, mom's cousin, my sis, two v. good friends of mine also suffer from DWA.

 

*snort*

 

Wait. I'm Asian.

 

*double snort*

[ELaurie]

to amuse him while you load suitcases into the trunk after celebrating your first Mother's Day at your mother's house. If you absentmindedly close all of the car doors, and then shut the trunk, he will push the "lock" button, locking himself in and the county sheriff's office will have to break your back window to remove the keys so that you can a) rescue your child b) drive home.

 

Don't ask me how I know :o

[Stacie]

Well, I'll take a stab at being the person who learned the most lessons in a 15 minute timespan. Here's my quick and dirty version:

 

If you are alone with a two year old and a baby and the screaming toddler needs to be taken to the emergency room in the middle of the night, remember to turn off your home alarm before opening the door.

 

A screeching alarm will wake a sleeping six month old causing him to scream in unison with the toddler.

 

When trying to call the alarm company don't assume they are not already on the line calling you and you picked the phone up before it rang.

 

Don't forget to close the door that set off the alarm.

 

Don't panic when the neighbor's dog "Beast" waltzes through your door and tries to devour your chihuahua.

 

When someone says they dropped the phone, it can be meant literally. And don't leave the dropped phone nearby while two kids are screaming and you are yelling "Beast, don't kill her...Leave her alone, she can't defend herself...Get out of here now...Do Not Kill Her...Stop clawing at me."

 

To a poor alarm company phone person on his first night on the job, the above sounds eerily like a break-in and hostage situation going down.

 

The local SWAT team/hostage rescue team can be mobilized in 8-1/2 minutes.

 

Neighbors get awfully curious when police cars careen down the street and block all exits to the neighboorhood. The police cars are sometimes followed closely by a dark van, which opens to darkly clothed men and women with SWAT on their backs.

 

SWAT team members have big guns. Big guns make neighbors very wary.

 

When all is said and done, a police escort to the hospital ER is not as exciting as it once seemed.

 

Somewhere there's a former alarm company phone person who likely embarked on a career change that very night. :lol:

 

 

 

I can laugh about it now, but it really was scary when it happened. DH won't let me live that one down, and is still hesitant about leaving town overnight.

[TXMomof4]

When driving down the interstate, don't decide to open the window and shake the crumbs out of the bag of banana bread. The driver behind you won't like you. Trust me.

 

On that same thread, when you're driving down the interstate during the summer, don't dump and entire cup of ice out the passenger window if there is a convertible coming up fast on the passenger side. :tongue_smilie:

[Stacie]

On that same thread, when you're driving down the interstate during the summer, don't dump and entire cup of ice out the passenger window if there is a convertible coming up fast on the passenger side. :tongue_smilie:

 

:driving: Along those same lines, don't drive your convertible with top open down a dark, windy road at night. When you hit a cat that darts in front of you, you'll have to drive with it in your backseat until it's safe to stop. :ohmy:

[Kris]

(This one is from dh. He was NOT the owner of the squirrel, nor was he the frustrated man who affixed said squirrel to the fan. He was, however, pleased that the reign of terror had ended in their fraternity house.)

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

I just don't know how much more of this I can take.

[Jean in Newcastle]

If you run over a squirrel's tail and you want to check on the poor squirrel, don't back up over the poor squirrel, squashing it.

[emeraldjoy]

*Never ask the student sitting next to you during a lecture if her baby (in utero) just hiccupped if you DO NOT know beforehand that she is pregnant; chances are she's not!

In fact, I think it is safe to say; NEVER ask anyone if they are pregnant; let them bring it up first......

 

*If you are 9 monthes pregnant and have to go potty on a dark, very remote country road, stay away from snowdrifts....once you fall back into one you most definatley need help getting out again.

[Alaska Mom]

1. Don't stop on the side of a highway at 11 p.m. for an emergency potty break and lock your keys in your running vehicle.

 

2. Don't tell people at work why your car window is broken

[KidsHappen]

Oh Oh! ME ME! I have one....

 

Do not bake a cake and then take it directly from the oven (in its glass pan) and stick it into the refridgerator.

 

 

 

Along these same lines: Do not put a beer in the freezer and then forget about it.

[Melinda TX]

Be sure the Taco Seasoning Jar, and the identical looking cinnamon jar are stored in different areas of the kitchen. Same color "spice', same jar, interesting taco meat.

[dirty ethel rackham]

OMG! I think I just pee'd in my pants!!

[Kris]

OMG! I think I just pee'd in my pants!!

 

No no no! You must play the game, too! So it would be:

 

"Don't read this thread unless you have (a) just gone potty or (b) have clean undies nearby."

 

. . . or some such. Try again. :lol:

[Kay in Cal]

Yep. I stuck my toungue and teeth together my senior year in high school. It only took me a few hours of gentle shifting to get them loose...

[dirty ethel rackham]

Okay, I'll play ...

 

Don't back out of the garage while angry at your kids that they made you late for Bible Study, or you might knock the mirror off of dfil's car, who is such a peach to take care of your kids so you can get out.

 

Don't try to do a pirouette while holding a plate of spaghetti. The physics involved mean a terrible mess.

 

Don't try to clean off the tops of the cabinets while the ceiling fan is on. You may step back to survey your handywork, only to see stars. And don't start dusting the ceiling shortly there after, forgetting that said ceiling fan is still on. You may get carried away and nearly chop off your arm. (Must have been the conk on the head.)

 

Don't leave the blinds up in the bathroom while you are taking a shower in the middle of the day and especially, don't walk around your bathroom stark nekkid to dry off. Your neighbor may have taken the day off to fix his roof (at eye level with said bathroom window.)

 

Don't make lemonade with Sucanat for boys' book club. It does not look appetizing, nor does it taste good, nor is it fun to find the sticky mess on the floor where the taste testers spit it out. It doesn't taste better with stevia. If you do not have white sugar, serve water instead.

 

I am sure I have a gazillion more, but I will have to stop here and get to bed.

[Kris]

Okay, I'll play ...

 

Don't back out of the garage while angry at your kids that they made you late for Bible Study, or you might knock the mirror off of dfil's car, who is such a peach to take care of your kids so you can get out.

 

Don't try to do a pirouette while holding a plate of spaghetti. The physics involved mean a terrible mess.

 

Don't try to clean off the tops of the cabinets while the ceiling fan is on. You may step back to survey your handywork, only to see stars. And don't start dusting the ceiling shortly there after, forgetting that said ceiling fan is still on. You may get carried away and nearly chop off your arm. (Must have been the conk on the head.)

 

Don't leave the blinds up in the bathroom while you are taking a shower in the middle of the day and especially, don't walk around your bathroom stark nekkid to dry off. Your neighbor may have taken the day off to fix his roof (at eye level with said bathroom window.)

 

Don't make lemonade with Sucanat for boys' book club. It does not look appetizing, nor does it taste good, nor is it fun to find the sticky mess on the floor where the taste testers spit it out. It doesn't taste better with stevia. If you do not have white sugar, serve water instead.

 

I am sure I have a gazillion more, but I will have to stop here and get to bed.

 

:lol:

 

Good job!

 

:lol:

[FlockOfSillies]

Don't cook Minute Rice in an electric rice cooker.

 

When making the sauce for Japanese chicken wings, make sure you use 1 cup of sugar, not salt. (MIL learned this the hard way.)

[FlockOfSillies]

This also applies to bottles of shampoo and conditioner.

[Lucy in Australia]

Do not give your 6 year old really nice-smelling bubble-gum: he will want to immediately go outside to show the dogs. While showing his gum to the dogs, he will need to squat down so that the rambunctious Golden Retriever can get a “good smellâ€. If he squats down, the gum will fall out of his mouth and land in said Golden Retriever’s long, plumy tail. It will then be stuck – very stuck- and the dog will be frantically trying to reach the gum because it does smell so good, after all. The six year old son will then rush inside to alert his mother, so that she can come and magically remove the sticky gum from the furry tail. The mother will be very irritated at the son and will make some off-hand remark about having to cut it off. Of course, she means she will have to cut the GUM off. She does not mean she intends to cut the dog’s TAIL off. However, the son will totally take this the wrong way and will proceed to scream hysterically at his mother, who of course has no idea why her sunny child has suddenly turned into something from the Exorcist. By the time this little miscommunication has been sorted out, the whole neighbourhood will be aware of the whole episode. The mother will then proceed to cut the gum out of the beautiful, wavy tail, leaving only a small bare patch. The son will gratefully kiss and kiss his mother and thank her profusely, while being lectured by older brother. The mother will throw out all the gum in the house – which is only one packet – and then go and get herself a stiff drink.

[Lizzie in Ma]

I have some. If you are going snow skiing for the first time in your life, and the lower bunny slopes are closed, and you have to ride a lift thing up to the higher bunny slopes, remember before you get on the lift that you have a horrible fear of heights.

 

When you reach the higher bunny slopes, make sure you know how to stop before someone gives you a shove at the top.

 

Before your dh drags you up to the %#$^ bunny slopes, someone should tell you that you are expected to ski down by yourself, even if you've never skied before, and the slopes are like something out of a ski competition to get down.

 

And here's my last bit of advice. When your dh is trying to drag you down a (red?? black??) slope, if you sit on your donkey and absolutely refuse to move. one. inch. the ski patrol will come up and get you and bring you down on a little sled thingy.

 

He said he thinks you may not be over that yet! :lol::lol:

[Soph the vet]

Do NOT ever give euthanasia solution to a cow intramuscularly when it is meant to go intravenously. It will only result in requesting the farmer to shoot the now sleeping deeply cow.:leaving:

[Lizzie in Ma]

Oh Oh! ME ME! I have one....

 

Do not bake a cake and then take it directly from the oven (in its glass pan) and stick it into the refridgerator.

 

 

 

Along these same lines: Do not put a beer in the freezer and then forget about it.

 

I can't tell you how many times I have done that!!! What can I say, I like my beer cold. :)

[Lizzie in Ma]

Well, I'll take a stab at being the person who learned the most lessons in a 15 minute timespan. Here's my quick and dirty version:

 

If you are alone with a two year old and a baby and the screaming toddler needs to be taken to the emergency room in the middle of the night, remember to turn off your home alarm before opening the door.

 

A screeching alarm will wake a sleeping six month old causing him to scream in unison with the toddler.

 

When trying to call the alarm company don't assume they are not already on the line calling you and you picked the phone up before it rang.

 

Don't forget to close the door that set off the alarm.

 

Don't panic when the neighbor's dog "Beast" waltzes through your door and tries to devour your chihuahua.

 

When someone says they dropped the phone, it can be meant literally. And don't leave the dropped phone nearby while two kids are screaming and you are yelling "Beast, don't kill her...Leave her alone, she can't defend herself...Get out of here now...Do Not Kill Her...Stop clawing at me."

 

To a poor alarm company phone person on his first night on the job, the above sounds eerily like a break-in and hostage situation going down.

 

The local SWAT team/hostage rescue team can be mobilized in 8-1/2 minutes.

 

Neighbors get awfully curious when police cars careen down the street and block all exits to the neighboorhood. The police cars are sometimes followed closely by a dark van, which opens to darkly clothed men and women with SWAT on their backs.

 

SWAT team members have big guns. Big guns make neighbors very wary.

 

When all is said and done, a police escort to the hospital ER is not as exciting as it once seemed.

 

Somewhere there's a former alarm company phone person who likely embarked on a career change that very night. :lol:

 

 

 

I can laugh about it now, but it really was scary when it happened. DH won't let me live that one down, and is still hesitant about leaving town overnight.

 

:w00t::ack2: OMG ROTFL :lol::lol:

[Lizzie in Ma]

Oh Stacy, still laughing, sorry it happened but :lol::lol:

 

OK.

1. If you are cannot find the baking soda and you have a grease fire working its way up the wall, do NOT think flour might work. In point of fact, small amounts of flour are flammable. If you do go with the flour, IF you use a 10 lb bag on it, it will go out but it is heck to clean up.

 

2. Do not taste the milk to see if it is bad.

 

3. Do not take your eyes off your best friend when he is cooking, he just might drop a huge amount of frozen chicken wings in the deep fat fryer resulting in the one and only fireball I have ever seen.

 

3. When you are in your room and you see flames reflecting on your door from the kitchen and your best friend yells, "I got it". Don't believe him. (after all, just last week he made a fireball)

 

4. IF, someone in front of you hits a squirrel on the road, and you pick it up to help it on your way to work...

Later on, when you see it running around the car, do not assume it is ok and park by the woods for it to leave.

BECAUSE you might, a week later start to wonder what that smell is and you might freak out completely when you get in your car and there are maggots in your front floor!!! And your bil might have to put a gas mask on and drive a billion miles an hour to the car detailing place who will never take your calls again.

 

5. Quit storing last nights pizza in the box in the oven where you will forget it and start yet another kitchen fire. And on that note, do not assume the pizza can still be eaten after you have unloaded the extinguisher on it.

 

6. Never assume your 3 year old is asleep just because you don't hear her. She might be in the baby's room. She might be so enchanted with the balmex and baby powder that she is terribly busy covering every flat surface and every doorknob with the balmex and sprinkling it with the "fairy dust".

 

7. Never let your kids watch Macgyver. They might, in the grocery store, loudly, ask for fertilizer and magnesium and oh, hey, do they have flares here?

[threetreasurs]

Do not run through the airport carrying toddler on shoulders who is chewing gum. The gum will fall out, land in your hair - and you will be stuck on a airplane that has absolutely nothing remotely resembling scissors or anything that could be used to cut for that matter; and will have nothing that you can use to get the gum out - except maybe, perhaps a pat of butter!:D

[Mom2legomaniacs]

DH learned that TBSP and TSP really are different when it comes to adding salt to the chili. BLECH!

[dirty ethel rackham]

LOL! I thought of a couple more ...

 

When you are emailing your work friends thanking them for attending your promotion party and relating the story of how it deteriorated into everyone stuffing jello down eachother's shirts, pay close attention to which address list you use. Do NOT mistakenly use the company-wide list. The president of the company may respond that he "wants to party with you!" Not good for future promotionn prospects. (One from my wild-and-crazy-single days.)

 

Do not leave a case of pop in the back seat of your car in the middle of winter. No, those muffled popping sounds are not kids pelting your car with snowballs as you drive past. It is the cans of pop exploding. And no, this does not clean up well in winter.

[Cindy in FL.]

Remember that golf carts are designed for 2 people. If you decide that you can fit three if two of them are small children, please be sure to hold onto them. Otherwise you may be driving down the golf course only to have your back tires go over a mysterious "bump". This bump will turn out to be your 3 yo who will continuously repeat that you ran over him with a golf cart to anyone who will listen.

 

Cindy

[Chelle in MO]

I have some. If you are going snow skiing for the first time in your life, and the lower bunny slopes are closed, and you have to ride a lift thing up to the higher bunny slopes, remember before you get on the lift that you have a horrible fear of heights.

 

When you reach the higher bunny slopes, make sure you know how to stop before someone gives you a shove at the top.

 

Before your dh drags you up to the %#$^ bunny slopes, someone should tell you that you are expected to ski down by yourself, even if you've never skied before, and the slopes are like something out of a ski competition to get down.

 

And here's my last bit of advice. When your dh is trying to drag you down a (red?? black??) slope, if you sit on your donkey and absolutely refuse to move. one. inch. the ski patrol will come up and get you and bring you down on a little sled thingy.

When I went skiing with my husband, he had never been before but I had been a few times. On the way up the mountain on the lift, I explained how to put his poles down and push off as he was standing up off the chair at the top.

 

Well, he put his poles down all right--one went right between my legs and caused me to fall! So I ended up looking like the newbie (no offense, Newbie!) and he just went smoothly onto the trail!

 

Chelle

[swellmomma]

I thought of one from my childhood, never never try to lick a snowflake off the metal rail at school, it will stick, it will hurt and bleed a lot.

 

When you have to take your children to the dr for the 13th time in 3 weeks with an injury requiring stitches, x-rays, or bad bruising. Do not make a joke that the beating got out of hand in the waiting room to the receptionist. Because while she knows you and thinks it is funny, the other 50 people waiting do not and they will shoot daggers at you with their eyes the entire time you wait, because they think you are serious.

 

Do not say to your 5 year old that one day he will be a daddy taking care of his kids. BEcause you may later find a nekkid baby crawling down the hall with a 5 yr old hot on her heels with a fresh diaper in one hand and a new dress in the other. WHen asked what is going on. Said 5 year old will tell you he needs the practice before he can be a daddy.

 

When your spouse is teaching you how to play golf, do not stand directly behind him. Upon his follow through he will smack you in the face resulting in you losing a few teeth and the club being broken in half. When you go to the emergency room to get it chcked out the staff will separate you and your spouse asking you repeatedly to really tell them what happened. and ask you if he beats you often. (courtesy of my mom)

 

Do not make jokes about your homeschool or your parenting with a very serious person who alreayd thinks you are doing it all wrong. They will not see your comments as funny or sarcastic, but as further proof of how right they are and proceed to launch into lecture mode. When said person starts to lecture you, do not start laughing at them, this will only incense them more and make them tell your mother on you. (newest experience with my brother this week)

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

When your spouse is teaching you how to play golf, do not stand directly behind him. Upon his follow through he will smack you in the face resulting in you losing a few teeth and the club being broken in half. When you go to the emergency room to get it chcked out the staff will separate you and your spouse asking you repeatedly to really tell them what happened. and ask you if he beats you often. (courtesy of my mom)

 

 

 

Oh yes! Only in my case, the lesson was when teaching your ds to play croquet with his friends, do not stand directly behind him to help him with his swing. Upon his follow through he will smack you in the eye resulting in a baseball size goose-egg, and blood and tears flowing down your face. And when you say you need to go home now, all the children will look at you blankly and ask "why?" And when you walk the block home and ask the friends to go home, your ds will have a huge tantrum because his mom is so mean. And the friends will get the story wrong and tell their parents that you hit your dc in the head with a mallet.

 

And when your nurse dh gets home, he'll look at you and pronounce the magic words, "You'll live!" And you won't feel too bad when you go out to dinner with dh and he gets a lot of dirty looks from the waitresses! (I hope they didn't spit in his food.)

[LG Gone Wild]

Yep. I stuck my toungue and teeth together my senior year in high school. It only took me a few hours of gentle shifting to get them loose...

 

That's a good one! You get a Homer Simpson award! :D

[NancyNellen]

Oh. My. Word! You poor thing!!! But, I wouldn't let you live that down either!:tongue_smilie:

[Cricket]

Oh, these are so funny! I'm so glad someone cleared up that goldfish story. I couldn't imagine why someone would put a goldfish under the burner on the stove, never mind forgetting it is there!

 

I've learned:

 

Never pour hot bacon grease into a plastic container sitting on the stove. The hot grease will immediately melt a hole in the plastic and run straight to the hot burner resulting in a spectacular fire. (And especially remember not to do this at your sister-in-law's house.)

 

Don't play a silly game of shooting the tops of pussywillows at your sister out of your nose. One time she will sniff instead of blow and then not tell anyone until midnight and you all get to take a trip to the ER in the middle of the night.

 

Learn biology so when your tiny baby screams at the top of her lungs you know what an epiglottis looks like. Then you won't look like the village idiot when you take her immediately to the pediatrician and demand to know what that nasty growth is attached to the back of her tongue.

 

And, while we are on the topic of health care, when straining your dd's urine for a kidney stone, make sure she hasn't been playing outside in a swimming suit. Or, if she has, make sure you check her bottom for any tiny rocks *before* she pees. Then you again won't look like the village idiot when you submit the tiny kidney stone for testing and the results come back that the rock is made of quartz. Maybe if she tried harder her next kidney stone could be a diamond?

[Barb_]

I can laugh about it now, but it really was scary when it happened. DH won't let me live that one down, and is still hesitant about leaving town overnight.

 

:smilielol5: Oh, no this did NOT happen--it reads like an internet forward :smilielol5:

 

I have 5 bucks that says you'll get this story from a distant cousin in another state 2 years from now....as an internet forward that began this very day :D

 

Barb

[Kris]

:smilielol5: Oh, no this did NOT happen--it reads like an internet forward :smilielol5:

 

I have 5 bucks that says you'll get this story from a distant cousin in another state 2 years from now....as an internet forward that began this very day :D

 

Barb

 

Well, at least if that was the case, at least *this one* would be worth reading! :lol:

[K&Rs Mom]

Never pour hot bacon grease into a plastic container sitting on the stove. The hot grease will immediately melt a hole in the plastic and run straight to the hot burner resulting in a spectacular fire. (And especially remember not to do this at your sister-in-law's house.)

 

 

Same goes for pouring just-cooked soup into an empty plastic peanut butter jar for someone to take home, at your 91yo grandmother's house. No fire, but soup everywhere.

[Kris]

If you're rinsing your hair with diluted vinegar, shave your legs *after* you rinse your hair. For me, that's backwards (rinsing my hair is usually the last thing I do), but considering it feels like I've set my legs on fire, I think I'll be able to remember to adjust my routine. :D

[kidsnbooks8]

I love this thread!!:lol::lol:

 

Do not leave your hampsters out on the picnic table(in their plastic home thing, in the summer) to clean the washroom and forget them till the kids get home late in the afternoon. The sun moves and eventually will be shining on the table and the hampsters!! Not a pretty sight.:001_huh:

[Soph the vet]

I love this thread!!:lol::lol:

 

Do not leave your hampsters out on the picnic table(in their plastic home thing, in the summer) to clean the washroom and forget them till the kids get home late in the afternoon. The sun moves and eventually will be shining on the table and the hampsters!! Not a pretty sight.:001_huh:

 

Similar story:

Do NOT travel from Minnesota to Connecticut with an older dwarf hamster in a habitrail in the backseat in 100 degree weather.:auto:

Do NOT wait until Indiana to turn on the AC for said hamster.

Do NOT be surprised when said hamster needs "burial at sea" when you've reached your overnight stop in Ohio.

[Natalieclare]

Don't, when you are tired an your memory is flagging, ask your husband/children, "Gee, I can't really think of any reallllly dumb things I've done; can you?"

[runninmommy]

Don't, when you are tired an your memory is flagging, ask your husband/children, "Gee, I can't really think of any reallllly dumb things I've done; can you?"

 

 

Oh, please share..

 

:001_smile:

[lynn]

Be sure to observe where the hot iron is before you reach over it.

 

do not add cold water to a hot crock pot.

 

Do not pour hot tea into a glass of ice to make iced tea.

 

Never use vision cookware if you don't learn that it looks cool but will always be hot when removing from a hot oven.

 

never put your finger in your mouth after you burned it with hot glue. double ouchie.

 

Teach you children that when you ask them to clear the table and scrape off plates they know to remove the silverware from said plate as to not loose forks and spoons to the garbage.

 

Always make sure the jacks are down when walking through a camper.

[MusicMama]

Well, I'll take a stab at being the person who learned the most lessons in a 15 minute timespan. Here's my quick and dirty version:

 

If you are alone with a two year old and a baby and the screaming toddler needs to be taken to the emergency room in the middle of the night, remember to turn off your home alarm before opening the door.

 

A screeching alarm will wake a sleeping six month old causing him to scream in unison with the toddler.

 

When trying to call the alarm company don't assume they are not already on the line calling you and you picked the phone up before it rang.

 

Don't forget to close the door that set off the alarm.

 

Don't panic when the neighbor's dog "Beast" waltzes through your door and tries to devour your chihuahua.

 

When someone says they dropped the phone, it can be meant literally. And don't leave the dropped phone nearby while two kids are screaming and you are yelling "Beast, don't kill her...Leave her alone, she can't defend herself...Get out of here now...Do Not Kill Her...Stop clawing at me."

 

To a poor alarm company phone person on his first night on the job, the above sounds eerily like a break-in and hostage situation going down.

 

The local SWAT team/hostage rescue team can be mobilized in 8-1/2 minutes.

 

Neighbors get awfully curious when police cars careen down the street and block all exits to the neighboorhood. The police cars are sometimes followed closely by a dark van, which opens to darkly clothed men and women with SWAT on their backs.

 

SWAT team members have big guns. Big guns make neighbors very wary.

 

When all is said and done, a police escort to the hospital ER is not as exciting as it once seemed.

 

Somewhere there's a former alarm company phone person who likely embarked on a career change that very night. :lol:

 

 

 

I can laugh about it now, but it really was scary when it happened. DH won't let me live that one down, and is still hesitant about leaving town overnight.

 

Can you say clean undies??? :lol::lol::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

[Word Nerd]

If, as a teen, you realize you forgot to add the eggs to a cake mix, don't think you can just add them to the already poured batter in the pan and stir really fast a few times.

[Denisemomof4]

 

Always do a head count before you pull out of the driveway! I don't think I need to explain how I learned this or why this would be important, lol.

 

 

 

:iagree:And always remember to do a head count before you leave the parking lot of the church. :blushing: Really - it wasn't my fault. It really wasn't. I won't take the blame. Nope.

 

Leave a sticker on the slider so you can actually see that it's a window.

 

Don't strategically park the car.....with a telephone pole behind the car. If you decide to do so, don't forget about said pole while backing out.

 

Don't read a good book while cooking. Ever.