AnnE-girl Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 I have my "big" ultrasound this coming week and I would kind of like my 6- and 8-year-olds to come to see the baby. DH will be there, and I would have my mom come with to be in charge of the kids. My one hesitation is if there's something wrong, it would be more difficult to have the older ones there while DH and I are first processing it. I don't have any reason to think there's something to be concerned about, but I don't do any of the early screenings because anything we need to prepare for would be visible in the 20 week u/s. My thought is that I would have the kids wait with my mom during the initial look at the baby. Then, assuming everything is fine, they would come back and get to find out the sex, and see what the baby looks like. Does that sound ok? Has anyone else had big kids there for little siblings ultrasounds? Update: We planned to bring the kids with my mom in charge of them, but about five minutes before we were supposed to leave from my parents' house they decided they were having too much fun playing with their cousins who were also there and didn't want to come. Everything is fine with the baby and DH and I ended up having a whole kid-free afternoon while DS and DD had fun with cousins and grandparents. My midwife was even excited for us that we got a date afternoon once the appointment was over :-) 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellifera33 Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 My oldest went with us for baby #2's 20 week ultrasound. He was young--about 2 1/2, and he had a meltdown when he saw me lying on the table to have the ultrasound done. Dh had to take him out and walk him around the hospital while I had the ultrasound done, and then come back for a minute for the big gender reveal. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I believe Rebecca was in the room with us when I had my 20 week with Sylvia. She would have been under 2. We had MIL along to help manage her, which was good because they found a few problems. Thankfully, we got our Sylvia just fine. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirstenhill Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 At least one place I had an ultrasound done specifically did not allow anyone under a certain age (16 maybe?) in the room for an ultrasound. Not sure if that is very common or just an odd rule that this clinic had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I had my two older ones with me for the ultrasound of number three. It was fine, but if there had been a problem I think your plan of having an extra person there is smart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athomeontheprairie Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Ive done it both ways. I would encourage you to check with the office first. Our sono room is TINY. It is difficult to for two people in there (mom and nurse) and having extras meant they needed to stand in the corner. Our office is willing, but those are the terms. The room is just too small to accommodate a viewing. Fwiw, last time it was just me and I had the nurse write down the gender and place it in a sealed envelope. Then dh and kids could be present for the unveiling. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 IME, if there's something wrong the ultrasound tech waits for the Doctor to tell you. You could even warn the Tech that if there's a problem to not let on while the kids are in the room. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 How would your mom be handling the kids if you texted her and said, "something's wrong, get the kids out of here?" Do you have the kind of kids who would accept, "mom's going to be a lot longer than planned, let's go get lunch," or the kind of kids who would immediately sense that something was wrong and freak out? Of course the kids will eventually know if something is awry, but it might be easier on you to not have to deal with them right then and there. And my pregnancies are long in the past, but might they see something amiss but not have answers right away? I don't think dh was even at any of mine, lol, so take that into account. I was good with printing the ultrasound and showing it off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 IME, if there's something wrong the ultrasound tech waits for the Doctor to tell you. You could even warn the Tech that if there's a problem to not let on while the kids are in the room. Sometimes they let on without meaning to - my mom was in the ER for high blood pressure the other night, and when the nurse checked her blood sugar he gasped "oh wow!" right in front of me and my dad. Not protocol, I imagine, lol. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKWAcademy Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 In my experience (it wasn't 20 week but a bit later, maybe 24 - I had a lot w my twins), if there is a problem, the tech never says anything (even if it's an ongoing problem you already know about but it got worse, they are very cautious). They get the doctor in there. You could always have the tech tell the doctor to ask your mother and kids to leave for a minute in case of concerns. Tell the tech ahead of time if you have concerns. They are very, very, very gentle if there is a problem. I've been there, they were fantastic in a bad situation and it was always the doctor telling us about concerns. Also, sometimes they can't see the gender. At 18-19 weeks or so, they told me one is a boy and one may be a girl. But don't paint any pink walls yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadowlark Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 We had all of our older kids there and it was so fun. She asked them to guess the sex and it was fun for them to find out. I agree that if some thing was wrong, the tech wouldn't say anything in front of the kids. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I never took my kids to any of my ultrasounds. I think your plan is okay if your mom is the chill type and if the clnic allows this. My last baby had bilateral clubfoot, and this was discovered on ultrasound. I would not have wanted any of my kids present because we needed time to hear the doctor and have our own emotional reactions, ask questions, do research,etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bzymom Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I took my older kids to my ultrasound visit for each younger sibling, but they only came in at the end, after the medical checks and measurements were completed. I did not find out the sex of any of my babies before birth, so I also had to remind the techs to please not share that information with anyone who asked! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyGF Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 We had our kids with us when we found out our son had big problems. He did die from them. The doctor assigned a nurse to take them into another room to color so that she could explain the problems to us. It certainly made the day harder to have them along, but then again, if baby has problems, the ultrasound will take forever. The likelihood is of course quite low. Sent from my ALCATEL ONE TOUCH Fierce using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 My doctor's policy was for the tech to do the anatomy scan, take all the measurements, and then call the kids in and let them see. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I've had enough miscarriages that I won't even tell my kids if I am pregnant until after the screening ultrasounds. I don't want them there for bad news and frankly, I am not in the position to assume all is well when I am pregnant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdrinca Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 My kids come. We will have our 20-week ultrasound next week! Very exciting. We are always very frank with the kids about the baby. Not all babies are born. ("Think about how difficult it is to make a Lego kit - now think about how difficult it is to make an entire human!" was very effective with the older 3 this time around.) If the tech were to find something wrong at our scan, and we were asked to see the doctor, I imagine DH would take the kiddos out while I met with the doctor, and we'd have a more intense follow-up at another time. I'd like the time to process what was happening, anyway. I'm not very experienced in this realm, but it seems there aren't many urgent medical follow-ups with pregnancy complications. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 IME, if there's something wrong the ultrasound tech waits for the Doctor to tell you. You could even warn the Tech that if there's a problem to not let on while the kids are in the room. I'm trying not to scare you, but at one of my 20 week ultrasounds, the baby did not have a heartbeat. The tech was trying very hard to remain calm, but it was obvious that something was very wrong. I would not want to have had my children in the room. Now, it's extremely unlikely that this would happen to you, but my experience is that techs aren't good at hiding it when they see even minor problems. I think taking your mom to watch the children and letting them come in after the initial scan is a good idea. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 When I had my youngest I brought all my kids, they sat on the floor at the far corner of the room and looked at books while the tech did all the measurements etc. Then the tech called them over to see the baby on the screen and then whispered the gender into dd's ear so she could be the first to know and to reveal it to everyone else (I had told the tech ahead of time which kid to inform first). They did great. They were 8,7 and 3 at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainydaybaby Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 My son is 7 and was in the room with my husband and I for our ultrasound with baby on the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I've never had a 20 week u/s but I've had a couple of early ones for dating. DH and the older kids were at all of them. I didn't have any u/s for my fourth, but with my fifth, the MW tried and tried to find the heartbeat at 12 weeks, but he was hiding. That was actually nerve wracking, that she couldn't find it, and I had all four children along. DH didn't take off from work that day because it was just going to be a basic interview and a quick heartbeat check; if I liked her, he would meet her later. But it turned out that the place could get me in that afternoon for an u/s, so I headed off with the four children, but not DH. They were all in the room with me, and we figured if something were wrong, we'd work through that as needed. So they were all lined up around the bed with me, and there was an audible sigh of relief when the baby promptly waved his little hand at us. They ended up missing the birth because he came very quickly in the middle of the night, and we didn't have time to wake them, so I'm really glad they got to see the u/s. Anyway, I like the plan to bring the kids in later, after the anomaly scan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerileanne99 Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 My kids come. We will have our 20-week ultrasound next week! Very exciting. We are always very frank with the kids about the baby. Not all babies are born. ("Think about how difficult it is to make a Lego kit - now think about how difficult it is to make an entire human!" was very effective with the older 3 this time around.) If the tech were to find something wrong at our scan, and we were asked to see the doctor, I imagine DH would take the kiddos out while I met with the doctor, and we'd have a more intense follow-up at another time. I'd like the time to process what was happening, anyway. I'm not very experienced in this realm, but it seems there aren't many urgent medical follow-ups with pregnancy complications. This is how we did it too. My dd5 came to my us appts, but she knows that not all embryos develop into healthy fetuses and that not all babies are born healthy. In fact, at every appt she kept trying to pin my OB down with questions on whether it was a healthy embryo then fetus:). After multiple late miscarriages she wanted to KNOW:) That US was when it first became real to her and I am so glad she could share it. I would just speak to the tech and let themknow your concerns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinsomeCreek Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I have had my older kids at each new sibling's US. It worked out, but then I had no other options. I brought books and games. I also lucked out with chatty sonographers. If there is a problem the sonographer is not suposed to say, but should get the doctor to speak with you. You will have two extra adults with you! Someone can take the kids out for a snack. They can bring the kids in whenever you feel comfortable. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamakelly Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I brought our 3 kids to my 20 week ultrasound. My daughter cried her eyes out when they said it was a boy. I felt really bad for her, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnE-girl Posted July 13, 2015 Author Share Posted July 13, 2015 Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences, everyone. I'll call the office to double-check their policy before we decide for sure. Dd got kicked while hugging me the other day, so I think this one is pretty strong, but I know there are no guarantees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeaganS Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I have my ultrasound this week too and don't have a choice. I'm bringing all 3 girls with me because dh will be at work. They are really looking forward to it. 2 wants a boy and one wants a girl, but I think they'll be excited either way. They handle Dr. appointments really well (we have one every week or 2 for various reasons lately). So even if there is bad news, they should be fine. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 We chose not to bring our son, who was 5 at the time, to the 20 week ultrasound. However, I do remember bringing him to a later ultrasound to check on something just before birth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 (edited) . Edited November 19, 2015 by Love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer&Mom Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I had a stressful 20 week u/s with DD1. There was a potential heart defect. We were able to get an appointment with a fetal cardiologist that day (God bless mega research hospitals!) who ruled it out, but it was a very intense three or four hours. I'm glad I didn't have a kid with me that day. We thought about bringing DD1 to the u/s for this pregnancy, but quickly changed our minds. We showed her the pictures afterwards instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnE-girl Posted July 13, 2015 Author Share Posted July 13, 2015 I know this it is an uncommon situation, but with our last 20 week u/s, it was the last time we saw our baby alive. We had no idea he was going to die. I think it would have been kind of nice to have the older children there to see the baby rolling around and kicking away. It would have given them at least one real memory of seeing him alive and active. Sorry- I hate saying that to a pregnant mom! PlainMom, I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your experience. I had PIH that turned into preeclampsia with DS, so while everything ended up fine, I know there's always a chance it won't be. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnE-girl Posted July 16, 2015 Author Share Posted July 16, 2015 Update in OP :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 So glad that the baby is fine!! Sounds like everyone had a great day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowing Brook Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 Um didn't you forget a very important piece of information in your updated op? I mean like the gender? You can't not tell us you know that right? :lol: :lol: Jk I know you may not want to say but inquiring minds are wondering :laugh: :lurk5: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnE-girl Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 Um didn't you forget a very important piece of information in your updated op? I mean like the gender? You can't not tell us you know that right? :lol: :lol: Jk I know you may not want to say but inquiring minds are wondering :laugh: :lurk5: Sorry! I included that in my update to my thread complaining about my in laws pressuring me to name the baby after fil. It is a BOY! I'm excited but a little shocked because I felt so much more like I did with DD than DS, and my very strong feelings about their genders were correct. DD is a bit disappointed and still holding out hope that the U/S was wrong. We're working on every baby is a blessing and pointing out all of her friends who have only brothers. She'll get there when there's a sweet little baby for her to hold. DS mostly listened when we told him not to gloat too much. He did make a point of saying "good morning, baby brother!" to my belly when he got up today though :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowing Brook Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Sorry! I included that in my update to my thread complaining about my in laws pressuring me to name the baby after fil. It is a BOY! I'm excited but a little shocked because I felt so much more like I did with DD than DS, and my very strong feelings about their genders were correct. DD is a bit disappointed and still holding out hope that the U/S was wrong. We're working on every baby is a blessing and pointing out all of her friends who have only brothers. She'll get there when there's a sweet little baby for her to hold. DS mostly listened when we told him not to gloat too much. He did make a point of saying "good morning, baby brother!" to my belly when he got up today though :) Sweet. Thanks for sharing. I know my nephew was upset when he found out he was getting a sister. It was the first girl in the family. He didn't want any girls in his house. He didn't want to hear a girl crying or any girl things like dolls in his house. He now is very in love with his sister. He wouldn't trade her for anything dolls and all:) I think he has also realized that girl cries sound the same as boy cries:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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