Butter Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Has anyone seen this? A mother, afraid allowing her children to read Harry Potter would turn them into witches, is rewriting HP so her kids can read it. She calls it Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles. https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10644439 A sample paragraph from chapter 2: Hagrid beamed widely. He had been praying so hard to save a soul today; and he was so happy to have saved the soul of such a sweet, earnest little one. The poor boy, being raised by two parents who were not Christian; and who both went to work and left him with a babysitter all day long. It was a good thing Hagrid had got here in time. Five years down the road, Harry might have been a fornicating, drug-addicted Evolutionist! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Ivy Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Ummm, even as a Christian who for my own reasons didn't read Harry Potter, this is nuts. Just......no. ETA: Reading Hunger Games didn't turn me into a bow wielding heroine and reading Twilight didn't turn me into a blood-sucking vampire. Reading Harry Potter won't turn her kids into witches. Just stupid. 24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancingmama Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Oh, bless her heart. 39 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Please tell me that was meant as comedy. Or, if it was in earnest, what flavor does she claim affiliation with. I like to know where the belfries have bats. 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 So - she's written a different book. You can't rewrite those books without the magical aspects. Magical gimmicks are a significant part of the appeal of the books (for those who they do appeal to.). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Yeah, no thanks. I'm just about full to the brim with crazies on the Internet. Good grief. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 She's making fun of Christians who say bless their heart when they are judging someone else. I think Sadie meant "Why?" as in why in the world would someone write such garbage. Sorry if I'm wrong, Sadie. Do you really think the excerpt in the OP is a Christian thing to do? ETA: Also, I'm from the south and, "Bless your heart" is dished out to all kinds of people in all walks of faith. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Is it ok to talk about fornication in a kids' book? 21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 I can't even. No. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Isn't this the one that got linked awhile ago that is in fact satire? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 She's making fun of Christians who say bless their heart when they are judging someone else. I don't think of "bless their heart" as a Christian thing. I think of it as a Southern thing. 22 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Isn't this the one that got linked awhile ago that is in fact satire? I hope so. Otherwise I think my faith in humanity might be permanently damaged. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 That's a Poe, that is, a satirical piece mocking conservative Christians. There is an approximately .001% chance that it is sincere. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 LMBO. Okay. I thought that was hilarious satirical funny. But we have multiple copies of Harry Potter, so what do I know... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Guest Posted June 7, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted June 7, 2015 I was thinking of re-writing "Fifty Shades of Grey" as a Christian love story. :D That would take a lot of red ink. 55 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daria Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 I think Sadie meant "Why?" as in why in the world would someone write such garbage. Sorry if I'm wrong, Sadie. Do you really think the excerpt in the OP is a Christian thing to do? ETA: Also, I'm from the south and, "Bless your heart" is dished out to all kinds of people in all walks of faith. I thought Seekinghim meant that "she" the author was making fun of Christians. I really have trouble with the idea that something with this many stereotypes could be real. I think it's a parody of the kind of people who don't let their kids read HP. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upward Journey Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Has anyone seen this? A mother, afraid allowing her children to read Harry Potter would turn them into witches, is rewriting HP so her kids can read it. She calls it Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles. https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10644439 A sample paragraph from chapter 2: This was written for the Onion, right? :blink: 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shahrazad Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 This really has got to be satire. Snopes isn't sure, though: http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/harrypotter.asp Spoiler alert: Voldemort = Obama :lol: 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 I actually saw many Christian parallels in it the way it was even though I doubt the author meant them to be in there. Well, we all bring into what we read (or watch) what we already have. I know people who came away from A Wrinkle in Time convinced the author was Jewish (she's not), I read all 7 Narnia books and never picked up on the Jesus thing. But given that JKR *is* a Christian, it's not surprising that JKR has said it was, in fact, intentional :) 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 This is just my opinion and so don't slam me, please... I see absolutely NO reason to rewrite Harry Potter. That seems like a dumb idea.. Harry's ultimate sacrifice is SO like Christ. I actually saw many Christian parallels in it the way it was even though I doubt the author meant them to be in there... But I think it is stupid that she rewrote it. But you guys will just tell me I'm judgemental... There are many Christian paralells in HP and JKR meant for it to be so. Read any book by John Granger. Fascinating stuff. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shahrazad Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 I was thinking of re-writing "Fifty Shades of Grey" as a Christian love story. :D That would take a lot of red ink. Rewriting it as a love story at all would take a lot of red ink :p . 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 I was thinking of re-writing "Fifty Shades of Grey" as a Christian love story. :D That would take a lot of red ink. Well, 50 Shades of Grey is really a long Twilight fanfic. Twilight is written by a Mormon and many people have identified Mormon symbolism within. Mormons are Christians, so the Christian love story version of that book has already been written! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 This is just my opinion and so don't slam me, please... I see absolutely NO reason to rewrite Harry Potter. That seems like a dumb idea.. Harry's ultimate sacrifice is SO like Christ. I actually saw many Christian parallels in it the way it was even though I doubt the author meant them to be in there... But I think it is stupid that she rewrote it. But you guys will just tell me I'm judgemental... I don't know why anyone would call you judgmental for what you wrote here. I agree with much of this particular post of yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Rewriting it as a love story at all would take a lot of red ink :p . Check the Duggar thread where we've brought up Christian domestic discipline; there is a market. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 This is just my opinion and so don't slam me, please... I see absolutely NO reason to rewrite Harry Potter. That seems like a dumb idea.. Harry's ultimate sacrifice is SO like Christ. I actually saw many Christian parallels in it the way it was even though I doubt the author meant them to be in there... But I think it is stupid that she rewrote it. But you guys will just tell me I'm judgemental... You asked elsewhere about passive aggressive posting. The above is an example. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 This is just my opinion and so don't slam me, please... I see absolutely NO reason to rewrite Harry Potter. That seems like a dumb idea.. Harry's ultimate sacrifice is SO like Christ. I actually saw many Christian parallels in it the way it was even though I doubt the author meant them to be in there... But I think it is stupid that she rewrote it. But you guys will just tell me I'm judgemental... Not this time. :D 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Sorry, I busted up laughing. Seriously, the most awful thing is being raised by non-Christian parents? Also non-Christian = two working parents? No one can take any of that seriously.... ....except maybe the D....oh no, not going there.... :) 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 How is that passive aggressive????? I thought being passive aggressive is saying you will do something and then not doing it because you really didn't want to... For your reading enjoyment and personal edification: https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/passive-aggression 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 How is that passive aggressive????? I thought being passive aggressive is saying you will do something and then not doing it because you really didn't want to... Well - and this is the only comment I'm making on this subject - it *is* a little passive aggressive to go "you will all just tell me I'm mean/stupid/bad for disagreeing with you". My mom does this a lot. It makes me want to scream. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 No. Just no. Could someone have written that to make fun of Christians? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daria Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 This is my favorite line Aunt Petunia peered out the door with her narrow, suspicious eyes; and she was wearing a baggy, unflattering pantsuit. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 It's satire people. Bill 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 It's satire people. Bill Faith in humanity restored 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 This has gone to be a spoof. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 I thought Seekinghim meant that "she" the author was making fun of Christians. I really have trouble with the idea that something with this many stereotypes could be real. I think it's a parody of the kind of people who don't let their kids read HP. Yes. That was my impression as well and I thought it was dead on. Sadly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 She's making fun of Christians who say bless their heart when they are judging someone else. actually - that is a *very* "southern" thing to say. and the meaning can change greatly depending upon the inflection. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 So - she's written a different book. You can't rewrite those books without the magical aspects. Magical gimmicks are a significant part of the appeal of the books (for those who they do appeal to.). and the humor- can't forget that. I always find it confusing people complain about harry potter - but have no issues with Narnia. or tolkein. (dd claims he was her inspiration to major in classics.) I was thinking of re-writing "Fifty Shades of Grey" as a Christian love story. :D That would take a lot of red ink. can you order a tanker ship of nothing but red ink? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Of course it's satire! "My father says that dark times are coming," Hermione spoke worriedly. "There is a man named Voldemort who wants to destroy all that we stand for. He is pushing an agenda in congress which will stop us from practicing our faith freely." "But that is what our founding fathers built this nation for!" Harry cried indignantly. "The freedom of religion!" "Voldemort doesn't care," Hermione remarked sadly; and she shook her head. "And he is gaining power. The freedom of Christians to practice our faith is disappearing by the day. Soon, it will be like it was in Rome." Lovely, ladylike tears began to roll down her delicate, terrified face. "And I don't like lions!" 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 This is my favorite line So funny! This is exactly the same quote I was going to pull. "Unflattering pantsuit"!!! LOL! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 I was thinking of re-writing "Fifty Shades of Grey" as a Christian love story. :D That would take a lot of red ink. Well, sure, the guy's name is Christian after all. :p I'm glad to hear it's satire. I can't take any more stupidity today. :auto: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 My cheeks! My abs! I'm not in shape for the laughing for I'm having! 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 My cheeks! My abs! I'm not in shape for the laughing for I'm having! "How can we focus on helping people; when there are people like you trying to destroy us?" Dumbledore countered astutely. "I told you before, that Reddit account is a joke," Voldemort whined pathetically; but the Reverend shook his head. "I thought that might be so at first," the Reverend commented fairly. "But it was just too realistic." "How was it realistic?" Voldemort inquired uninformedly. "It wasn't even subtle! I waxed poetic about the sexiness of neckbeards and said that Christopher Hitchens has superpowers. It was supposed to be funny! How could you take it seriously?" Dumbledore scoffed; and he replied faithfully, "Like it or not-your little 'joke' is what most atheists today are like." 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 "How can we focus on helping people; when there are people like you trying to destroy us?" Dumbledore countered astutely. "I told you before, that Reddit account is a joke," Voldemort whined pathetically; but the Reverend shook his head. "I thought that might be so at first," the Reverend commented fairly. "But it was just too realistic." "How was it realistic?" Voldemort inquired uninformedly. "It wasn't even subtle! I waxed poetic about the sexiness of neckbeards and said that Christopher Hitchens has superpowers. It was supposed to be funny! How could you take it seriously?" Dumbledore scoffed; and he replied faithfully, "Like it or not-your little 'joke' is what most atheists today are like." Stop! Stop! Reddit jokes! Terrible writing! Aaahhhh the adverbs! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 That's a Poe, that is, a satirical piece mocking conservative Christians. There is an approximately .001% chance that it is sincere. I agree. There's no way this "author" is sincere. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 I agree. There's no way this "author" is sincere. I bet "proudhousewife" is a 14yo boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 I laughing so hard. That is the most fantastically awful thing I've read in a long time. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 I bet "proudhousewife" is a 14yo boy. If so, then my estimation of their writing ability has gone up exponentially. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 I bet "proudhousewife" is a 14yo boy. I'm guessing most 14 yo boys don't give a crap about all the sterotypes in there. What teenage boy will care about Aunt Petunia's baggy unflattering pants suit? I'm thinking it's an adult. Maybe a bored liberal 30 something housewife. Maybe a homeschooler whose kids have been ostracized for reading Harry Potter by the uber conservative homeschoolers. Not me though guys. One, I'm not bored and no one in Seattle would care if my kids read HP. Two, if I ever write like that y'all are under strict instructions to come over here and shoot me dead. I am holding you to that. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 IIRC, the houses were roughly: Gryffindor- good bible believing complementarian type protestants Slytherin- Those awful catholics And then either Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff were the commie free for all liberal protestants. ETA- I checked. Hufflepuffs are hippie vegetarians who eat fake meat and are liberals. Further hilarity is that Hermione is Dubledore's daughter, Ron is Slytherin who sobs into his oatmeal, Luna is Hufflepuff who wants to have a career and Draco is Ravenclaw who Harry calls hateful for insulting Luna and Ron. But Harry knows that Ron is an idol worshipper and Luna is misguided and that everyone should be "Gryffindor hat". Ravenclaw are grumpy mean misogynists (the Gothard peeps? I dunno) and Dumbledore has Gryffindor leanings and says they still let every Christian in because otherwise there wouldn't be very many people at this school of prayers and miracles. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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