blondeviolin Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I feel like the owl in those old Tootsie Pop commercials. Except I can never just chomp to the middle of the stupid sucker. "Shut the door. When you open something, you should close it again." "Put the milk away." ... "Why is the milk still out?!" "Did you hang your towel?" And a lot of it is because I've given them a job and they try to do it "quickly" and I have to call them back to do it right. I tell someone to go put his pencil away. I walk upstairs and the pencil is placed at the top of the stairs, but NOT in the pencil holder two feet away. So I call the child back to do it the right way. *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Your oldest is 8. I think you still have a few years of nagging left. They'll get it in time. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 You mean, these things actually do sink in? I thought I was stuck nagging for the rest of my life. Yesterday I was sitting there wondering if I am doing it all wrong, this "training my children," thing, because it is not working at all! I thought that "explain, demonstrate, inspect, correct, remind occasionally" was now it was done. But apparently that doesn't work with my kids! They don't even do the things that have been "family rules" forever. Drives me crazy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Uncountable :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Like water off a duck, I think. I'm partial to posted signs. I feel better when they ignore the signs instead of ignoring me. :laugh: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Posted signs!! ROFL!! Doesn't work around here, even with the 10yo. Why can we not flush the toilet?!? It's on the posted sign in front of you as you sit on the potty. How many times? More, many more than it takes to put you on the couch from nagging exhaustion. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Hey, I never said they worked! They just keep me from feeling like a failure at communication. After all, it's posted..and last I checked, they could read..so..not my fault. I tried. :laugh: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Give um till they're about 12, then you only have to nag once in a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I wait until DS11 has logged on to his game, then say, "Go hang up your coat/put your shoes in the closet/take your dishes to the sink RIGHT NOW!" He has gotten much better because he knows I will pull him away from the fun time to clean his mess up. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I plan to giggle maniacally when they call me with tales of woe about how their children never listen. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 The world may never know. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I have a theory that it takes one year of nagging about a single thing. I'm guessing it doubles if you're nagging about milk AND towels. I was considering the 'it takes 3 weeks to build a habit' thing you hear about, and I figured out it had taking a full year of nagging about a specific chore (say, unpacking the dishwasher) before it was habit for my kids. So I'll see if I can build 18 good habits per kid - it's just a pity you have to waste so many on basic stuff like brushing teeth and wearing deodorant ... and clothes! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Miss Manners says it takes 18 years of constant nagging to rear a well-mannered adult. :D 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bethben Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I'm STILL telling my dd to flush the toilet and wipe her butt...She STILL forgets when she's in a hurry. Sigh... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayne J Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Frankly, I fear that too many more years will reduce me to imbecility. So many of my daily interactions start out complete sentences and end up a single repeated word (or unintelligible gibberish): "Child, please close the door." "Close the door." "The door, please." "The door!" "Door!" "Door!" "Door!" "Arrggghhhh!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MFG Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Eventually they move out... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiMi 4under3 Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 "Whose wrapper is this?!?" Said umpteen times per day regarding cheese stick munching throughout the house. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I have a Very Old Teen. He forgets to close the door all winter long. Starts to remember in the spring. Closes it all summer. Starts to remember to leave it open in October... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Forget the kids. I'd just like DH to leave the toilet seat down in the master bathroom. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 To some extent in my own house I'm a nag slacker. I mean, I leave some things out and would be ticked to be nagged about it all the time. And dh leaves some things out and he'd be ticked to be nagged about it all the time. So I try to give some grace to the kids while still teaching them generally not to be slobs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiMi 4under3 Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 To some extent in my own house I'm a nag slacker. I mean, I leave some things out and would be ticked to be nagged about it all the time. And dh leaves some things out and he'd be ticked to be nagged about it all the time. So I try to give some grace to the kids while still teaching them generally not to be slobs. See, I reserve the right to leave things out, and to leave doors open and such (while nagging the kids) because, well... I'm the one who's going to clean up after myself in the end. It's not like dds or ds will walk in the kitchen and say, "Tsk, tsk, the milk is getting warm," and then have to put it away for me, or hunt me down to tell me to put it away. I'll get to it myself. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Mine are good about most things now! :) Actually, they are more trainable than a certain adult... They took a long time to learn to rinse their dishes. I had a week where I was not feeling well and they had to do all the dishes all week long, usually they just do a load here and there. After being in charge of the whole process for an entire week, they learned why and now they only have to be reminded to rinse occasionally. (Our dishwasher is not that great, they don't get clean if you don't rinse right away.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Both my kids have gotten so much better once they hit their teens and once they started to be more in charge of their own lives. My ADD/ASD son took longer but now that he's working, a switch has been flipped that has transferred over to all sorts of things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 DS is almost 14 and he forgets to put away .... well, everything. He's made the comment that when he's grown and on his own it's going to be expensive to feed himself because of all the food he'll leave out to spoil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Years...and years...and years.... But if you want some ideas for things that might help train them a bit earlier than 40, get the books Smart but Scattered and ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life (even if you are not ADD). Lots of great ideas in there for helping to set up systems that scaffold and support routines that the kids can follow and hopefully eventually master as sort of automatic...at some point...:) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I'm just wondering if there need to be more consequences. Really, they lead such pitiful, dull lives, there's very little to "take away." There's weekend morning TV/videos, threats of "no Mommy planning playdates until....," and um, no bedtime reading until everything else is done. (I'm taking away books as a consequence?!?!) I lost it this morning over 10yo having to be asked 3 times, complete with detailed instructions on how to do it, to clear the breakfast table. She is an intelligent child, and really when motivated, can make a room look like the Ritz. Clearing a few things from the table, most of which were trash to be thrown out, shouldn't be hard. :banghead: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 My kids are 8 also. Just this year they are starting to gain a little actual responsibility, i.e., doing something sensible without being told. Yay! But only part of the time. One of mine has always found it almost impossible to develop good habits. She is a very intelligent kid, but her mind just isn't on the practical things. The lastest thing is that she brings home unopened chocolate milk cartons in her lunch box. I'm not sure why she brings them home, but I've told her like 100 times that if she does that, she needs to put the milk in the fridge when she gets home. Never happens. So the milk usually ends up down the drain. What is the point of packing it up? Well, every day at lunch she "thinks" she's going to do it right this time. :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 How many are there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Sounds like some problem solving is in order. What is actually happening to keep them from doing what you want? Are they getting distracted by one particular thing? Are they social people who like to do chores together? Are they forgetting (even if you don't think they should forget)? That's what the book "Smart but Scattered" and others like it that OneStep talked about up thread helps you figure out. And then it helps you to lay out routines and strategies. Routines and strategies that are not based on anger and frustration or nagging. Ds (ADD and Aspie) needed a visual reminder as a flowchart of sorts to keep him on task. We worked a lot on "if you get distracted or forget where you are in the process, look back at the list". It didn't help to nag. It didn't help to get angry. It did help to get out the list together and figure out where he got derailed. Later, it helped to just say "list" as a reminder to use it. Now that his tasks are mainly his own from start to finish (ie. they matter to him more because it directly benefits him) he's much better at it then when he had to conform to what only mattered to me. Dd (no disabilities but very social) needs to do community chores. So we work in the kitchen together and practice "many hands make light work". As she gets some of her social needs filled, she's more able to do some of the chores on her own. It didn't help to get angry at her for wanting to do things together. It did help sometimes to tell her "we'll do ___________ together" as soon as you get __________ done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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