Is combining really a plus? Or do you prefer to work independently with children?

[melissamomof5]

We did HOD for 2 years with 3 separate guides. Honestly, at the time, I loved working independently with each child. It was good one-on-one time and I knew exactly what they were retaining.

 

This year we went back to MFW to combine the 3 girls. I needed that simplicity this year. 

 

But now, we're on week 23. Part of it I know, is the time of year. It's the time when I start to look towards fall curriculum, I feel a bit of burnout, we are ready for the snow & cold to be gone, and I'm tired.

 

But, I'm really trying to evaluate whether the combining was worth it. 

 

What do you think?

 

To combine or not to combine?  :huh:

 

 

[twoxcell]

I do not combine my children. I prefer to teach them all at their individual levels. 😊 My oldest is very independent, so I only do a couple of subjects with him now.

[SilverMoon]

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Edited August 31, 2023 by SilverMoon

[Ellie]

Teaching children together is one of the great benefits of homeschooling. :-) Usually, though, it works best with things like history and science, while it's best to do things like reading instruction and arithmetic/math individually. It is why unit studies like KONOS and the Weaver and the Prairie Primer are so popular.

[sbgrace]

I do all of our language arts and math subjects one on one. I combine for things like history and science. When we used HOD, I did most of the guides with each child individually, even though they were the same guide. Learning is always more effective and less frustrating one on one here. I wish that wasn't true, though!

[sweetpea3829]

LOL, it depends.

 

I have tried many different configurations with our four.  Science and history are definitely combinable.  Absolutely.

 

Math...DD is doing her own math, DS is doing his own math.  DS the second is doing his own math, but is languishing.  DS the third is doing his own math.  

 

DD and DS the first are combined for all language arts.  Maybe I'm lucky but...they work pretty much on the same level.  I do differentiate as far as their personal chapter book reading, encouraging each to grab books at their respective reading abilities.  But their reading abilities are pretty close.  It probably helps that the oldest is a bit behind "grade level" and the next one is a bit ahead of grade level.  

 

Because none of my four are more than 16 months apart, it is a LOT easier for me to combine them.  Next school year, I am going to attempt to combine the youngest two boys for both math and language arts.  Primarily, I believe this approach will benefit DS the second.  I have some concerns for his learning...and I need to rule out or confirm if his struggles are related to anxiety and/or performance anxiety from working 1:1.  Some kids just really don't do well 1:1, and I suspect strongly that this may be the case for him.

 

He seems quite excited at the prospect of having a learning partner.  I'm really hoping it will work well for him.  And I don't think DS the youngest will be negatively impacted.  We shall see.  

[Chrysalis Academy]

Like others, I don't combine my kids' skill instruction, and for the first part of this year they were entirely independent.  But in the last couple of months we have started a bunch of read-alouds, docos, videos, etc. that we do together.  It's really nice! My younger is getting old enough that she gets something out of it, even though much of it goes over her head, and my older is independent in so many areas that it's nice to have the cozy, read-aloud or watch-together time. We're all three enjoying it.

 

I've never seen a curriculum I could use with both of them, however - just books.

[Coco_Clark]

My kids are combined in everything except math and language arts. And I dream of the possibility of combining them in language arts someday and only separating for math. I LOVE combining.

 

But my kids are young, 17 months apart in age, and very attached to each other. So there's that. When they are 9 and 10 and their little brother starts k I'm not sure to what extent I'll be able to fold him in.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I rarely do.  I do most of the same read alouds, but otherwise I don't usually combine things . Sometimes we do some fun sort of writing assignments.  That's easy enough to adjust for my 2, but I don't do that regularly.

 

For one thing my kids are too far apart age and level wise.

 

I only have 2 kids though.  If I had more, I might really have to consider combining some things more than I do.  I don't see how I could stay sane otherwise. 

[cbollin]

This is how it panned out for me.

 

language arts and math - can't combine. 

 

bible, history, sciecne:  I liked it a lot when I had 2 students in grades 2-8 who were working out the same teacher's manual on those topics.  Plenty of times I had to teach the material separately because of family dynamics, and learning styles and learning challenges.   Some things they could do together at the same time (art, crafts, listening to audio book -- I'd get another copy of book from library, or have it on computer screen, or sometimes oldest didn't like the book in front of her so it didn't matter)

 

The biggest benefit was to me:   even if/when I had to read to my oldest from books like the Genevieve Foster, or SOTW, and let middle gal do "book basket", I was better prepared to teach the material to middle gal when we switched.  That way I was only using one manual in the grammar and logic stages, even if I used it twice in a morning.  The lessons were short enough.  I liked having indvidual time with each daughter.    They were not combined by some defintions, but we were united in topic in those years.

 

then when oldest got to high school, I had to let her grow up more but I wasn't teaching the material directly every day either.

 

I had to give up my daydream school house of everyone together at the table just like a magazine or catalog cover....  but didn't have to use 2 sets of plans for upper grammar and logic.  that I liked.   I know at this point in our life with oldest in college, middle in 10th grade, and youngest not doing a mfw program it feels blah with youngest.  The long day of "oh great, what do I have to figure out with the other set of plans..." (for youngest)  or maybe I just remember the days when she was in Kindy and 1st the other two girls were in "investigate cycle program" of mfw....  and it all worked nicely.  It was about the stress on me more than what they did.

 

I hear you on the weather.  I'm so tired of being colder than usual for this time of year.  grayer longer...  blah...........

[sweetpea3829]

I rarely do.  I do most of the same read alouds, but otherwise I don't usually combine things . Sometimes we do some fun sort of writing assignments.  That's easy enough to adjust for my 2, but I don't do that regularly.

 

For one thing my kids are too far apart age and level wise.

 

I only have 2 kids though.  If I had more, I might really have to consider combining some things more than I do.  I don't see how I could stay sane otherwise. 

 

This is the biggest benefit to combining.  Honestly this year has been very very difficult now that all four are officially schooling.  The oldest two are pretty independent.  Their math lessons require my 1:1 attention but that takes maybe an hour a day.  

 

But then...with the next two...because they are still Kindy and 1st grade, they require a LOT of my attention and direct instruction.  Combining them next year will open up the day a lot more, I think.  As it stands, I'm moving kids through quickly so I can get to the next kid's instruction, while dealing with revolving questions from all four.  

 

It's a lot like playing tennis, really.  

[LindaOz]

I've done both over the years but I find that I always miss combining when we don't, so a 'combination' of independent and together works best for us. This year I officially have 4 school age kids - 11th, 9th, 7th and 5th. We begin our day together for memory, Bible and singing. My 11th grader then goes off to work independently while the others join for another subject (science, history, geography or art). They then have books pertaining to the current topics to read during the week and these books are at their own level. After that, they all do individual work in math, English skills, writing, and music pracs. My 9th and 7th graders also have a separate science to do on the days when science is not our 'together' subject.

 

After lunch, we all get together again for read alouds and then they go have their own individual reading time.

 

I also have two preschoolers so they get their own reading time with me after that.

[SkateLeft]

Whether or not combining works just depends on the family.

 

I tried many, many times over the years and was never able to successfully combine my kids. My older two are 23 months apart in age, but 3+ grade levels apart. One child is driven, focused and achievement oriented, and the other is dreamy, creative and prefers to do her own thing. I didn't have any success combining my middle two either.

 

Trying to combine invariably ended up being more work than it was worth.

 

One of the best things about homeschooling, for us, is the ability to customize each child's education to their own personality and needs.

[Tess in the Burbs]

I combined a lot over the years.  And some years we needed that.  Some years needed to be separate.  I usually combined history/science/Latin/Spelling/geography.  Math and grammar has always been independent.  

 

Interestingly, this year DS wanted to do science with us.  It worked out.  But next year they separate again.  DD wants to be independent and not waiting on her brother all the time to do group work.  

 

So for me, it was a year by year evaluation of what they wanted, what I wanted, and what would work for the topics they chose. 

[Momto4inSoCal]

We don't combine for math or language arts but if my younger daughter were to catch up to her sister I would (and she may, she's a little advanced and her sister is a slower learner). My twins I will combine obviously. Science and history we have always done together and I plan on keeping it that way as long as I can. We do experiments, recipes, games, crafts. I couldn't do hands on stuff from 4 different books. That would be the benefit of having my older 2 on the same level. We could do math and language arts games together for the stuff they are both working on. I do put aside one on one time for math with both of them. 

[MinivanMom]

I combine my elementary age children for literature, history and science read-alouds. All their schoolwork is done individually. The gaps are just too big to combine anything else.

[texasmama]

My boys have always been combined for history, science, Latin, Bible, and literature.  The science and Latin were/are co op classes. 

 

One year I combined them for math.  That was bad.  Lesson learned.

 

It has worked very well to combine the content areas and to separate skill areas.

[MerryAtHope]

I like combining for content-based subjects (like history or science in the elementary years) but not skills-based subjects. 

 

We started separating in junior high because my son wanted to--first for science, then for history. Then in high school, we've combined some things again (biology one year, history this year, British Lit and speech this year)...kinda funny! Different seasons, different things have worked. 

 

We've always done Bible together.

[SparklyUnicorn]

This is the biggest benefit to combining.  Honestly this year has been very very difficult now that all four are officially schooling.  The oldest two are pretty independent.  Their math lessons require my 1:1 attention but that takes maybe an hour a day.  

 

But then...with the next two...because they are still Kindy and 1st grade, they require a LOT of my attention and direct instruction.  Combining them next year will open up the day a lot more, I think.  As it stands, I'm moving kids through quickly so I can get to the next kid's instruction, while dealing with revolving questions from all four.  

 

It's a lot like playing tennis, really.  

 

Yeah it would generally stand to reason having more would mean that likely there were at least a couple of kids who were closer in age.  Mine are over 4 years apart. That might not seem huge, but it can be.  Plus one works at about a level average for his age and the other beyond.  So they are even further apart than the age indicates.

[sweetpea3829]

Yeah it would generally stand to reason having more would mean that likely there were at least a couple of kids who were closer in age.  Mine are over 4 years apart. That might not seem huge, but it can be.  Plus one works at about a level average for his age and the other beyond.  So they are even further apart than the age indicates.

 

Totally agree. 4 years is an eternity as far as development goes.  I'm not even positive it will work out when I combine my 6 and 5 yr old next year (they will be 7 and 6), and they are only 13 months apart.

 

And really, the biggest reason it works with my oldest two (as far as combining them for language arts) is because the oldest is a bit slower and the younger is accelerated.  They are 11 months apart.  

[blondeviolin]

We also combine content and separate skills.

 

My oldest's strengths are language-based while my second oldest's strength is math. He is quickly coming up on where she is math-wise. I don't dream of combining them, though. What works for her would be boring and stunting for him. And what works for him would be frustrating and make her feel dumb. No thanks. With him, I can get in a lot of theory and discussion and math play. With her, she wants the why, the procedure, and practice it 1000 times.

 

I have no clue where my 5yo will fit in there as she's just kindy and I haven't required or pushed much and she's not motivated enough to display stronger academic tendencies.

[Squawky Acres]

I combine my first three children for history, geography, science, Latin, read-alouds, art and FLL.  Writing, spelling, and the 5-year-old's math and phonics is separate.  

 

I actually do combine my 1st and 2nd graders in math.  They are 14 months apart, and working at a similar level.  While I have sometimes questioned this decision (and wondering if I should allow my advanced 6 yo to really take off and accelerate), It means we have the luxury of plenty of time with our math.  We can do a spine program and lots of supplementary materials each day.

 

 

 

[RootAnn]

I've combined as much as I can over the years. I remember making all these detailed charts of which kids I could combine for what ... with #5 listed as #5 while I was still pregnant with him. I thought I'd be combining #3 & #4 for a lot of things because they are so close in age. I've actually combined #2 & #3 for many things over the last two years and they have the biggest age gap of any of my kids.

 

I always have to be willing to un-combine when it is no longer working. I had to de-couple #1 & #2 in Latin at one point to let #1 move forward. Combining #1 & #2 for science this year didn't work at all. I'm trying to figure out how to de-couple #2 & #3 in Latin for next year as it is obvious #2 is capable of moving ahead where #3 could stand to hover on a lesson a little longer.

 

So, in theory, I'm a big fan. In reality, it is more fraught with complexity and emotional disturbance than I like to deal with some days. With five kids, there is always some sort of drama occurring.

[texasmama]

The reason my boys have combined so well is that the older is average and the younger is advanced. They are two years apart in age. They are essentially curriculum twins as a result. They have diverged greatly in upper level math. The rest of their subjects are the same. Ditto for next year. That may very well change as they progress through high school, but it works for now.

[kirstenhill]

I can't do any combining for skill subjects.  For content subjects, we have been mostly combined for science and history, with DD doing extra reading.  We also have separate read-aloud chapter books most of the time (I read to DD alone at bed time, and read to the boys in the morning at the beginning of the school day. They also get bedtime stories from dad -- usually shorter books).   Next year I think I might have to separate science in some way.  Right now DS6 is not following along much at all for science.   DS7 is quick to catch on to science concepts, so I might combine DS7 and DD, and do something light with DS6.   Or I might let DD go into something more independent, and try and find something that can hit the boys at the right level.

[scoutingmom]

I combined my older 2 for a while in most subjects - but it eventually was causing issues - my son, then 8 felt stupid because sister - then 6 was doing the same stuff. My daughter felt stupid because she wasn't doing it as well as her brother.

 

So we did 2.5 years of AO and it worked good with them in their own years.

 

But now.... well My oldest 2 have dyslexia, so I had to read anything to them that didn't have audiobooks. My 3rd, a good reader, is in year 1 but needs some read to her (most people read all of year 1) and have a 4yo wanting lessons too..... and so after more than 1/2 a school year we are not done 1 term - and everything feels disjointed.

 

So my 11yo loves the AO books, but there is so much I must read to him....

My 9yo isn't enjoying any of her books this year

My 6yo seems ok with them, but it feels like so little is being done

And I feel like my 4yo is missing out....

 

And we do RightStart math - so time intensive fot me too....

 

 

And so I'm planning on combining again - and have WTM ordered at the library.

 

So - I no longer know what is best. On AO when I was first worried that I had 4 kids - the reassurance wad that my older kids would be fairly independent by the time my younger kids started - but that was not to be.

[Peaceful Isle]

I love to teach history and science together. It keeps my sanity.

[Vernal]

My two are only 12 months apart. I had lovely visions of us sitting together at the table doing our work together. HA! Even though they are only 5 and 6, this does not work for these two particular children. DD is a little "advanced" and DS is pretty much right on "grade level". But Dd5 has to move. All the time. She has to hum while she forms letters. She has to sound out word loudly. DS6 is the absolute opposite of this. So K/1st grade level work seems like it takes forever because I have to do pretty much the same lesson twice. However that it also a plus. I only have to plan one lesson for the both of them. What has worked for us is for DS to do phonics/reading and math before DD gets up because he is my early riser. After breakfast we have circle time that includes Bible and usually history or science. Then DS is done and its time for DD to do her phonics and math. This schedule has made our school time so much more peaceful and productive. It only took me a year (!) to figure this out. I can't see how I'll ever be able to combine them for math or LA even if they are doing the exact same lesson.

[ddavies]

I combined my two oldest boys (13 and 15) in every subject up until about 3 years ago. My oldest was a late reader, so his younger brother was actually "ahead" of him in reading and writing, but it didn't seem to bother either of them. I did some extra work with Ds15 in reading/spelling because he's dyslexic, and when I was working with them together I just adapted their output to suit their individual abilities. Ds13 was precocious and was able to keep up in math until they hit algebra and Ds15 pulled ahead. I really, really enjoyed teaching the boys together, they have great memories of working together, and we have no regrets. Their strengths really complemented each, and they were able to come up with and pull off a lot of really cool projects. 

 

Now that they're older, their interests and abilities are so different that it's impossible to keep them together for most subjects. This year, they're just doing some literature and history together, but next year they'll also be combined for biology. 

 

My next son is over 3 years younger, so I've never been able to combine him with his older brothers (although he's tagged along plenty), and my 7yo is another 3 years younger and has some delays, so he's been on his own as well. Last year, we broke the cardinal rule and adopted a son who falls halfway between Ds7 and Ds10. The transition (in terms of homeschooling) has been perfectly smooth because he and Ds7 are so similar in ability that I can combine them with minimal differentiation. Now, Ds9 is starting to pull ahead and Dd5 is coming into the mix, just to make things more complicated. Still, I'll be combining the three youngest as much as possible next year because I literally don't have enough time in the day not to. 

 

I've never bought a boxed "multi-level" curriculum, or bought a boxed grade level curriculum and tried to adapt if for more than one kid. I just find it easier and more efficient to come up with one plan for multiple kids than to come up with separate plans. 

[Tenaj]

We don't combine.  After using MFW for several years, I realized that some of my kids were coasting along under the radar while the more boisterous kids dominated the group discussions when we were combining.   Also, specifically MFW, was not challenging my oldest in the group (seventh grade) and going over the heads of my youngers in the group (second and third grade).  We split into separate HOD guides which is working very well.

[The Girls' Mom]

We have always combined history, it was easier and much more cost effective for us.  We combined science for a very short period of time.  

My twins have always been pretty much on the same level in everything, so until this year they pretty much did the same things.  This year the paths they are taking are becoming more evident and so their studies are diverging more.  Next year I think they will be doing one subject together (Chemistry).

 

I never combined English and Math with my oldest and the twins.  

[PineFarmMom]

I have never really combined other than history and science, read-alouds and Bible. That may be a lot to some, but it was standard for us for years. We use TOG now, and that involves us working on Geography together and having a few discussions throughout the week, but most of their reading is done independently.  

 

I decided to do more combining this year.  We do Latin and CAP Writing together.  The main reason I did this was at 3rd and 5th grade, we had never done either before so we started together.  We were using individual grade level WWE for them last year and no Latin.  I knew that if I wanted to make Latin happen, I'd have to combine.  It has worked wonderfully.  There is a healthy competition between them both that has been helpful to their learning.  I give them rewards for finding derivatives and vocabulary words from Latin, and they are ALWAYS on the lookout!! lol

 

For W&R, I can see I may have to make changes next year when we get to W&R 3 or 4.  My 5th grader is thriving in Narrative 1, and my 3rd grader is enjoying it as well, but those next levels may be too much for my 3rd grader and I might have to switch with him for a while.  I started doing W&R Fable this year on the white board.  We did most of the work orally and would do a lot of the copiousness work with me writing on the board and them working on notebook paper then discussing.  It has worked well because they both are adding thoughts that have made the whole mix more meaty.  It has also made it WAY cheaper as it allows me to just buy the teacher's book.   :hurray:  I wouldn't normally feel I could spend that much time on a subject.  We probably spend 2-3 hours together per week on the pre-writing portion of W&R.  Since I'm combining, I feel more freedom to spend a lot of time on it.

 

Those are our experiences.  I have 5 children and have never done much combining, but this year has made me appreciate it more.

[SnMomof7]

We do circle time together - scripture memory, hymn study, prayer, read aloud. Everything else is independent. Before I got started I wanted to combine for everything. I haven't found that feasible - more doable wih content, not doable with skills.

[EKS]

I never consciously combined (my kids are 6 years apart), but it was always fun when the things they were studying lined up.

[Chrysalis Academy]

Ok, so apparently combining is crashing and burning here again.  I keep trying, but it's the rare thing that works for two kids 4 grades apart.  It's been a rough week trying to force it to work, I need to just let it go . . . 

[texasmama]

I keep reading this thread as "Is combing really a plus?" 

 

<facepalm>

[RootAnn]

Ok, so apparently combining is crashing and burning here again.  I keep trying, but it's the rare thing that works for two kids 4 grades apart.  It's been a rough week trying to force it to work, I need to just let it go . . . 

 

I can't imagine trying to combine my dd#1 & my dd#3 - which is about the age gap but a year older on my side. I can do dd#2 & ds#1 (same age gap, each a year younger than yours) but only for history & 'enrichment' but only because dd#2 still enjoys SOTW. Let it go girl!

[ALB]

I have combined up until this year when I bought separate Memoria Press grade level packages.  I do miss combining sometimes, but I also really like have the subjects right at their individual levels without having to tweak anything.  I did finally start doing the Christian Studies as a combined subject, though.  We also do read alouds, art and music all together.

[Heidi]

We do Latin together bc it is basically pure memorization, drill and kill. It's more fun to have a partner to compete with, and I might go crazy trying to teach Latin six separate times.

We have combined grammar and spelling in the past and it was fine, but I found it was just as teacher-intensive as having separate levels. I prefer to wait until kids can be fairly independent before we start history and science rather than getting teacher-intensive curriculum in those subjects. 6th grade and up science will be a video teacher. I have a lot of little kids that need me and my teaching time is spent teaching skills.

[Susie in MS]

For us combining for history, Bible, science, and lit was one of the best things I could have done for our family. Not only did it save me my sanity, but it created memories of them working together and sharing what they learned. :wub:  I only wish my youngest was a twin so she could have someone to share lessons with.