No School in Two Years

[Epicurean]

I hope Chelli's friend is telling the truth, but to be honest, I can't take what she said at face value. I doubt she actually knows the reading levels of her kids. It's easy to inflate their reading ability in her mind because it's not as demonstrable as writing or math and she desperately needs something to cling to when it comes to her children's abilities. Her DS "currently" doing MUS makes me think it's very, very current (as in, she started again just last week, or maybe even hasn't started yet but Chelli's email has given her the intention of starting). I think that while it's possible her DH is responsible for their delayed math education, it's also entirely possible that she is either lying or exaggerating to save her own ego.

 

Maybe I'm a pessimist. Maybe I've just seen too many cases of neglect to ignore all the other red flags. But it does worry me that this family is hiding so much behind closed doors while carefully projecting a successful image. I think Chelli is pretty brave for stepping in, and I truly do hope it makes a difference in the children's lives.

[Guest submarines]

Chelli's friend talked about the dishes in the sink being moldy and how sometimes they were so nasty she would just throw them away rather than try to wash them, and the woman's best friend told a "funny" (and when I say funny, I mean :eek: and :ack2:) story about maggots and both women (not Chelli! :)) laughed about it.

 

I'll try to find the post and link it, but right now I'm on my phone and it is a nuisance to scroll back through posts on this thing! :)

But has Chelli seen anything but one load of dirty dishes? Because the rest could be just self-deprecating, hyperbolic, possibly eccentric chit-chat.

 

This whole thread is a prime example of things being taken out of proportion by someone who met this woman a couple of times a year and visited once, and assumes educational neglect based on a couple of isolated exchanges and the fact that she herself homeschools differently.

 

And just as in most cases it turns out that the children are far from being educationally neglected--they are not terribly behind in the traditional subjects, and the mother is aware of their reading and math levels. There's nothing wrong with delayed academics. For all we know, they could be ahead in other subjects and skills.

 

Disclaimer--it is actually not enough information here to judge either way. They can be neglected, they can be just schooled differently. But the majority here are jumping to conclusions to OMG MAGGOTS. Has anyone seen those maggots? She just as likely could have a different sense of humour.

[Tsuga]

I honestly think the majority of people like me hope for the best but think, it could be the worst, so you shouldn't just affirm, and that a good friend will follow up.

 

I for one do not believe there were maggots because if you have seen a maggot that is usually a life-changing experience. I do think you can get a SERIOUS fruit fly problem going very quickly and wouldn't put it past someone who is in over her head.

[sunflowerlady]

Well, I am usually a total pessimist, glass half empty , Eeyore type of person. But I saw no reason to disbelieve the mom about her update. It is true that she could be covering up and just making something up to get the OP off her back, but we don't know that.

 

At this point, all that can really be done is to try to keep the lines of communication open and provide advice if the person wants it.

[Katy]

IDK, I've spent a lot of time with pastor's wives, and I haven't known a single one to be prone to excessive hyperbole.  They tend to be too worried about being perfect to exaggerate about their faults.

[MomatHWTK]

Well, OP has let the friend know that she is concerned and given the distance, that is probably all she can do. 

[Mommy22alyns]

MUS didn't work for my son when he was 8 and 9. We switched to CLE and he works it all himself and has learned so much. You could recommend that program to her. A child can work on it pretty independently and there are very few people who have failed at CLE. I've mostly heard success story after success story.

 

 

CLE is a really good idea for the 10 year old.  My girls have been able to be largely independent with CLE.  She could have the older child do math, LA, and reading with CLE and then the basics would be covered.  If she can get him independent, that would be to his benefit.

 

The kids don't sound THAT bad off - would I be happy with my kids at this level, no, but it's not beyond redemption at this point, especially if the reading is about on par.

 

As far as schooling during difficulties, the girls and I went with MIL to Michigan one February to visit my grandma, who was dying.  I brought all of our school work in a big plastic bin and we kept up with just about everything.

[FO4UR]

IDK, I've spent a lot of time with pastor's wives, and I haven't known a single one to be prone to excessive hyperbole.  They tend to be too worried about being perfect to exaggerate about their faults.

 

 

Anything you say can and will be held against you in the court of public opinion.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I'm kinda thinking it is unfair that y'all are adding so much to this thread that I'm trying to keep up with when I have already mentioned that due to life (our normal extenuating circumstances plus this recent trauma which got significantly worse today, btw), we are trying hard not to be slackers on the "do school" thing.  Not that you are responsible for us.  We are responsible to do school whether it is a hot thread or trauma or just a crappy hand at life.  But you aren't making it easy  :001_rolleyes:

 

ETA on Wed at 6:30am:  I just made it to this post and now there are added pages.  I may never catch up. <sigh>

 

ETA2: Just realized that no one else is likely this far behind on the thread so I'm typing this to myself <sigh>

[Guest submarines]

IDK, I've spent a lot of time with pastor's wives, and I haven't known a single one to be prone to excessive hyperbole.  They tend to be too worried about being perfect to exaggerate about their faults.

So maggot infested house and educationally neglected children are more likely for a pastor's wife? Okay then.

[MinivanMom]

So maggot infested house and educationally neglected children are more likely for a pastor's wife? Okay then.

 

I think she was saying that pastor's wives are likely to be more aware of the example they set and the image they need to keep, so they are less likely to use hyperbole or to exaggerate the situation. Most pastor's wives don't want to look bad in front of their congregation, so they probably aren't going to make up stories about maggots and mold or exaggerate about how they neglect their children.

[Guest]

This thread has me wondering what total strangers would think of my house right now. Looking around my bedroom (which is also my work office) I'm thinking, not anything good.

 

Here's my true confession for the day: I forgot to tend my chickens this morning. I only just realized it, at 4:00, and let them out the coop, gave them fresh water and food and collected the eggs.

 

That's about as appalling as I get.

[zoobie]

I think she was saying that pastor's wives are likely to be more aware of the example they set and the image they need to keep, so they are less likely to use hyperbole or to exaggerate the situation. Most pastor's wives don't want to look bad in front of their congregation, so they probably aren't going to make up stories about maggots and mold or exaggerate about how they neglect their children.

Exactly. And know that what you say will be repeated. She's not new to that gig.

[Catwoman]

IDK, I've spent a lot of time with pastor's wives, and I haven't known a single one to be prone to excessive hyperbole. They tend to be too worried about being perfect to exaggerate about their faults.

If that was the case with this woman, though, wouldn't she be acting like her whole life is perfect, bragging about how brilliant her kids are, and pretending her home is always spotless except for the time Chelli actually saw it, when she would have come up with a heartwrenching and tragic reason for why she hadn't been able to keep up with the dishes and housework that particular week?

[Catwoman]

I think she was saying that pastor's wives are likely to be more aware of the example they set and the image they need to keep, so they are less likely to use hyperbole or to exaggerate the situation. Most pastor's wives don't want to look bad in front of their congregation, so they probably aren't going to make up stories about maggots and mold or exaggerate about how they neglect their children.

But who in her right mind would tell the truth about things like maggots, mold, and not educating the kids if she was trying to maintain a certain image?

[Guest]

I am glad you updated. If the 10 year old is "currently" working his way through MUS Alpha, that doesn't fit with not having done school for two years. It sound like they are actually doing things, but perhaps not as consistently as would be best.

 

Actually, I think it does fit. My 10yo is halfway through Delta and finished Alpha years ago. He started Alpha when he was six or so. He would have to be comatose to be so inconsistent that he was still in Alpha.

[SKL]

But who in her right mind would tell the truth about things like maggots, mold, and not educating the kids if she was trying to maintain a certain image?

 

I would think that being a pastor's wife (or a politician's wife or similar), if I had one or two friends I could really trust, they'd be hearing all my dirt and lots of bad jokes.  It would be an escape from the face such wives usually have to put on.  The OP is a pastor's wife too, so she is probably viewed as a safe person to be "real" with.  I don't know anything about the Maggot friend, but maybe she's also a "safe" person for some reason.

 

People gotta let their hair down sometime.

 

I am thinking of starting a fun thread on the hyperbole topic.

[unsinkable]

I would think that being a pastor's wife (or a politician's wife or similar), if I had one or two friends I could really trust, they'd be hearing all my dirt and lots of bad jokes. It would be an escape from the face such wives usually have to put on. The OP is a pastor's wife too, so she is probably viewed as a safe person to be "real" with. I don't know anything about the Maggot friend, but maybe she's also a "safe" person for some reason.

 

People gotta let their hair down sometime.

 

I am thinking of starting a fun thread on the hyperbole topic.

Let's raise a glass and toast our dear friend, Maggot.

[unsinkable]

I think I said in my first post that the primary educator has the responsibility to PLAN for how time off will be made up for life events. I didn't indicate that no school for an extended length of time is appropriate, nor did I indicate that no time should be taken off for a life event either. I refuse to advocate that months and even years off is OKAY, period. So in this instance, I know that I am at odds with other homeschoolers. Many do believe that this is fine.

 

I am also very aware that despite this being a classical education board sponsored by a person for whom education is near and dear, and who has made it her life work to help homechooling parents achieve at a high level on behalf of their neurotypical students, by in large not being the cheerleading squad for letting education slide is ironically, NOT popular. I am not offended. It is what it is.

 

Maybe I'm not communicating very well. I'm willing to admit that too.

I don't think anyone in this thread has advocated for months or years off. I CERTAINLY didn't so I'm not quite sure why you quoted me and said it to me specifically.

 

I also am confused by your middle paragraph bc you seem to be saying that you are not the cheerleader for letting education slide and that is not a popular opinion here. I must have reading comprehension problems bc this whole thread seems like it is filled with people, including myself, who don't think education should slide. :confused:

[SKL]

Let's raise a glass and toast our dear friend, Maggot.

 

Maggot was always a term of "endearment" used for my granny (by her children) when she was alive.

 

My dad preferred Barracuda.

 

Not exactly relevant here of course ....

 

[Catwoman]

Maggot was always a term of "endearment" used for my granny (by her children) when she was alive.

 

My dad preferred Barracuda.

 

Not exactly relevant here of course ....

 

Sentimental fools. :D

[Guest]

This is us as well, and I think it's not uncommon in families dealing with chronic illness.

 

I am trying to work out why the tone of many of these comments make me uncomfortable, beyond the idea of being lumped into a great big 'community' that I don't actually belong to. Beyond that if church is a major player in the friend's situation, church should be stepping in...

 

It has something to do with the fact that it is possible to school in a radically different way to 'school' and still have grown children who can achieve their goals. Whilst my ds is not radically schooled, both my girls were - dd15 was unschooled K -6 and is now doing better than fine in a state school, dd17 was schooled using CM methods - very relaxed, living books almost entirely to 10th grade - and is at uni doing the degree of her choice on the campus of her choice a year earlier than her peers.

 

We did take a year off after the birth of a baby. The girls played, we read lots of books, we spent a lot of time outdoors. It was OK. They did not finish the year 'behind' - behind what ?

 

Depending on a person's temperament, probably the IQ of her kids, the context - there IS flexibility within a homeschool environment.

 

If I wanted my kids educated along the model of 'school', I would send them to school.

 

I am not happy about the idea that there is ONE way to school at home - by schooling at home following a school model and timetable - and we are ONE community who should be policing this.

Sadie, I do believe that school does not need to look exactly the same in all families - or even between siblings, whose needs may be different. I believe a non-didactic form of learning can be awesome, a la Micki Colefax. BUT - and this is a big but - I think a lot of lies have been handed to homeschoolers in the name of unschooling or, more directly, radical unschooling. There is a lot of blind faith involved in RU, and unfortunately, if one does arrive at a point of concluding that RU did not pan out as promised, it may be too late - or at least, painfully late, to repair.

 

Ultimately, is there anything wrong with building lesson upon lesson, in a proven format, to give the kid the knowledge they WILL NEED to have to have a wide-open future? Is there any downside in building up the discipline to whittle away at math or phonics or handwriting daily? Not that I've seen. But I have seen kids ill-served by the parents' blasé confidence that it will all work out.

[texasmama]

Here's my true confession for the day: I forgot to tend my chickens this morning. I only just realized it, at 4:00, and let them out the coop, gave them fresh water and food and collected the eggs.

 

That's about as appalling as I get.

Chicken starver.

[texasmama]

Let's raise a glass and toast our dear friend, Maggot.

<snort>

 

I really think I need to meet you some day. 

 

Forget all of the other virtues - house cleaning, educating kids, all of it.  Number 1 in my book is (and what I want on my epitaph so please pass it along to someone if I don't show up here someday):  "She made me laugh."

[Catwoman]

Chicken starver.

Truer words were never spoken. :D

[unsinkable]

<snort>

 

I really think I need to meet you some day.

 

Forget all of the other virtues - house cleaning, educating kids, all of it. Number 1 in my book is (and what I want on my epitaph so please pass it along to someone if I don't show up here someday): "She made me laugh."

Yes, we shall make it happen! I'd love to meet you, too!

[texasmama]

I can't stop laughing.  I think I'm going to pee my pants soon.  You weirdos are good for the soul - buncha chicken starving yoga pants girders.

 

 

[texasmama]

Yes, we shall make it happen! I'd love to meet you, too!

But I fear you live far away what with all the hockey and stuff.  Southerers play no hockey.

 

Guess where I live!  I'll give you ONE guess!

[unsinkable]

I can't stop laughing. I think I'm going to pee my pants soon. You weirdos are good for the soul - buncha chicken starving yoga pants girders.

Have you read the MILF thread?

 

You might need a pessary, it is so funny.

[texasmama]

Have you read the MILF thread?

 

You might need a pessary, it is so funny.

 

 

<off to get my Depends...>

[Catwoman]

Yes, we shall make it happen! I'd love to meet you, too!

ROAD TRIP TO TEXAS!!!!! :hurray:

[unsinkable]

But I fear you live far away what with all the hockey and stuff. Southerers play no hockey.

 

Guess where I live! I'll give you ONE guess!

:lol:

 

I love to drive! I've got big plans...I'm gonna either go west, then south to Texas!, then back to the southeast to hit all my southern want-to-dos.

 

Or I'll reverse it. South, then west to Texas, then up to the some of those Middle Square States.

[Guest submarines]

Sadie, I do believe that school does not need to look exactly the same in all families - or even between siblings, whose needs may be different. I believe a non-didactic form of learning can be awesome, a la Micki Colefax. BUT - and this is a big but - I think a lot of lies have been handed to homeschoolers in the name of unschooling or, more directly, radical unschooling. There is a lot of blind faith involved in RU, and unfortunately, if one does arrive at a point of concluding that RU did not pan out as promised, it may be too late - or at least, painfully late, to repair.

 

Ultimately, is there anything wrong with building lesson upon lesson, in a proven format, to give the kid the knowledge they WILL NEED to have to have a wide-open future? Is there any downside in building up the discipline to whittle away at math or phonics or handwriting daily? Not that I've seen. But I have seen kids ill-served by the parents' blasé confidence that it will all work out.

 

We all see what we want to see. It is called confirmation bias. ;)

 

So yes, I've certainly seen downsides to a "proven format" and "proven path."

[Guest]

Truer words were never spoken. :D

 

WWWAAAAAAHHHHHH! It was only once! And did I tell you how hard it is to get up that hill right now? It's like trying to go up the exit end of The Giant Slide! It's like trying to go vertically up a glass wall! I'm groping around like an 86-year-old blind man because everything is encased in ice!

 

I was letting them hibernate. They didn't want to come out to the Frozen movie set anyhow. Seriously! I opened the door and they peeked out and said, "Buuuuuh??" And i know that meant, "Psh! I ain't comin' out there!"

 

They are chicken.

[Guest]

We all see what we want to see. It is called confirmation bias. ;)

 

So yes, I've certainly seen downsides to a "proven format" and "proven path."

Well, there's that...

[Lang Syne Boardie]

NM

 

BTW, does NM stand for "no message" or "never mind?" Not that it matters?

Edited March 3, 2015 by Tibbie Dunbar

[texasmama]

WWWAAAAAAHHHHHH! It was only once! And did I tell you how hard it is to get up that hill right now? It's like trying to go up the exit end of The Giant Slide! It's like trying to go vertically up a glass wall! I'm groping around like an 86-year-old blind man because everything is encased in ice!

 

I was letting them hibernate. They didn't want to come out to the Frozen movie set anyhow. Seriously! I opened the door and they peeked out and said, "Buuuuuh??" And i know that meant, "Psh! I ain't comin' out there!"

 

They are chicken.

Chicken Starving Whiny Excuse-maker.

 

Keep it up, and I will assign you extra chores, young lady.

[Guest]

I don't accept the premise of the bolded, because it didn't work that way for us. Dd15, for example, did not use a 'proven format' K-6. I was not blasé about her unschooling, but I wasn't worried either. She DOES have the knowledge she needs to have a wide open future. She DOES have the discipline, as a mid-teen, to juggle academics ( she chose to go to school ) and extra curriculars, and be the kind of 'star' student teachers love to love.

 

I think there CAN be a downside in pushing the 'proven format'. Obviously, or I wouldn't have a favourable attitude towards unschooling. I'm not going to go into the philosophy behind that.

 

But I've seen the fruits of not using the proven format, and ending up with very self-direct, independent learners, who are capable of setting and reaching meaningful goals.

 

I do not think we are some kind of special exception. My kids are bright, but not gifted, and I am not superwoman.

I hear ya. And I believe what you say about your child. I have observed instances where that did not happen and by the time Mom was concerned, it was very hard to remediate satisfactorily. That is the gamble I don't support.

 

I'm bound to piss someone off now, but I don't think it okay for a 12yo to be unable to read because he hasn't "picked it up" adequately yet. (Taken from an IRL setting.) I don't think it's okay to read out drama lines to a child of that age, so they can memorize them auditorily for Drama class, because they cannot read them. (Taken from something on-line.)

 

There is no doubt that, except for rare instances of virtuosity, people become masterful at anything only by doing/seeing/hearing (one or any combination) it over a long period of time. Most often, in smallish doses done consistently over many months or years.

 

At one time early in my hsing, I was far to the unschoolish side; let's say very relaxed schooler. And with my oldest child, this was easy to do; she is quite bright and was precocious, so there was nothing to worry about. She read The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe when she was five. The only subject I did very methodically was math because I have no aptitude for math and I didn't see any likelihood that she would "pick up" on math without explicit instruction and this is a subject I don't integrate well into daily life. I am super-thankful I did do that.

 

Also, after doing it this way for a while, I thought a lot about two things: how she steadily progressed in math, though she was not strong in it; and how musical skill is built with daily practice. She is a very good musician and has a lot of musical aptitude, but learning to read music and play proficiently still required the daily practice. Bonus, it was helping develop the character of self-discipline. During a period of time when she was in a chorus, her singing ability improved by gigantic leaps. This was even true for myself, as an old lady - while singing in a cantata, practicing and stretching my voice daily, I was singing...great. Not in cantata - I sing nicely, but there is obviously a huge benefit in the practice.

 

It was also in seeing some things with my son, who does not have a learning style like DDs, that I started to think he needed a lot of explicit instruction. I was becoming steadily more structured and moving philosophically farther away from unschooling. After other observations of people I know well in hsing, the majority of success stories were in very consistent schoolers who were very proactive and intentional about schooling. The majority of the concerning outcomes were among the most "loose" schoolers. (I only know two families who always identify as RU.) Poor outcomes were most common with uninvolved parents who leave the kids largely to their own devices, most often under the LIE that hsing is automatically better than school and learning, being natural, will just come along out of necessity.

 

Anyway...more than anyone cares to know about my philosophy and how I came to it, but I think that is what we come here for.

[Guest]

NM

 

BTW, does NM stand for "no message" or "never mind?" Not that it matters?

Either one.

[hornblower]

NM

 

BTW, does NM stand for "no message" or "never mind?" Not that it matters?

 

I like to read it as No More.

As in omg, no more! I can't take this any more!

 

 

[ereks mom]

This is not a MYOB because she made it your business when she told you that

 

A. according to her own standards, she hasn't been educating her dc for two years, and

B. she's concerned about it.

 

If you saw no books and the kids told you they had no school, but the family seems healthy and Mom said not a word, THAT is a MYOB. But she's got a time limit for her problem, a concern about it, and she's coming to a friend with the issue. ...

Nobody says, "I am worried that I haven't been teaching my kids for two years," to a friend unless she is looking for some feedback or support! I'm not saying she needs a kick when she's down, or CPS intervention, or a bunch of meddling, but I'm pretty sure nobody would say something like this if they were only looking for a smile and nod.

 

This.

 

I knew someone who was in this same position with three children, all school-age.  She had serious mental and physical health issues, and for the past 2 years she has been living in a nursing home (she's in her early 40s).  As a result, her children had to enter public school, and they were way, way, way behind.  When they entered public school 2 years ago, the 12 year old could barely read on 2nd grade level, and the 8 year old could not read at all and could barely write his name.  For social reasons, all three children were each administratively placed one grade level below their age mates, but they are all still struggling to keep up.  I had known it was bad, but I didn't know just how bad.  I wish I could've helped before it got so bad, but I live an hour's drive from them. (She had friends and family who lived nearby and knew what was going on, and I think someone should've reported her to CPS or the truant officer.)  She would call me and ask for suggestions for helping her kids get caught up, but she never did ANY of the things I suggested.  I even mailed her a whole box of phonics lapbooking materials to use with her youngest, but I found out later that she never even opened the box. 

 

Anyway... all that to say that I agree that by talking about this, the mom in question made it the OP's business, and now I believe the OP is free--even obligated--to get involved, whether that means making suggestions, getting in there and helping, or even being a whistleblower. 

[cintinative]

This kind of gets into the grandma dying scenario...

 

Two years ago when she first mentioned this, she had a four month old at that time, and said that they hadn't been doing school consistently because of being pregnant and now she had a newborn so that made it hard as well. When I talked to her a few weeks ago, no school had been done because it had been difficult for the past two years with the now two year old. 

 

I'm really afraid to ask what's been going on before that because she had twins 5 years before the two year old so I can only imagine how difficult that was. To be honest I'm not sure how much schooling has happened with her 10 year old at all. He would have been 5 when the twins were born. I only met her 3 years ago so this is all speculation as to what was going on in their home before that time. I'm basing my fears on what I know has been happening in the past two years.

 

IMO, she's in over her head, but if she absolutely will NOT send them to ps (there are no private schools in their area nor could they afford it), I'm hoping to steer her toward some kind of online option that will require very little from her.

 

Two things

1) perhaps depression (postpartum) is part of this--it can evolve into just your regular plain jane depression which can make it very hard to want to do anything. BUT

2) she is spending time on the blog and her speaking, which shows she has some energy to put to *something*

 

I am frankly confused by this. I want to say she is depressed, but then I want to say that somehow she only thinks she is good at the speaking and so that is all she does. 

 

Since she is many hours away from you it has to be hard to have these conversations. I will pray that God will make it clear. I do think sometimes as Christians we dance around issues for fear of offense, and sometimes that does not serve each other well. There are definitely times when we must say something, gently and in love, and I do believe you have identified one of those times. It can be nerve-wrecking to be in your position.  Sometimes we have to step out in faith because we care for someone.  

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I like to read it as No More.

As in omg, no more! I can't take this any more!

 

 

 

:smilielol5:

 

[Katy]

Two things

1) perhaps depression (postpartum) is part of this--it can evolve into just your regular plain jane depression which can make it very hard to want to do anything. BUT

2) she is spending time on the blog and her speaking, which shows she has some energy to put to *something*

 

I am frankly confused by this. I want to say she is depressed, but then I want to say that somehow she only thinks she is good at the speaking and so that is all she does. 

 

Since she is many hours away from you it has to be hard to have these conversations. I will pray that God will make it clear. I do think sometimes as Christians we dance around issues for fear of offense, and sometimes that does not serve each other well. There are definitely times when we must say something, gently and in love, and I do believe you have identified one of those times. It can be nerve-wrecking to be in your position.  Sometimes we have to step out in faith because we care for someone.  

 

See now I tend to see it as narcissism - look like you're doing the right thing, get praised for doing the right thing, put less effort into things that get you no public praise.  There, that's my armchair psychology for the night.

[chiguirre]

A 10 yo struggling with MUS Alpha raises huge red flags for LDs. That's about where Geezle (ASD, ID) was at that age after having learned and lost his math facts several times. Honestly, it's time to have him evaluated for a LD because that's far, far outside normal for his age. Even if they haven't touched math, he should be picking up addition with carrying without a struggle at that age with those materials. I am assuming that he's seen the videos and has the rods. If he's only been handed the workbook with no instruction then it's completely possible he doesn't have an LD. MUS is one of the best math curricula for teaching kids with special needs. If it doesn't work, the next step is something like Semple Math which uses mnemonics to teach math survival skills to kids who will probably not live independently.

[Jean in Newcastle]

See now I tend to see it as narcissism - look like you're doing the right thing, get praised for doing the right thing, put less effort into things that get you no public praise.  There, that's my armchair psychology for the night.

Or it could just be a matter of not having the same kind of deadlines and accountability in homeschooling.  If you write a public blog and there is a set time that you post it (daily, weekly, monthly etc.) then you have a deadline and an outside accountability of sorts.  If you speak at meetings or conferences then again you have a deadline to get stuff together and to present it.  With homeschooling you can say that you're going to do xyz but really no one outside of your family has to know if you followed through or not, esp. in a state with no oversight.  You can mean to get to it but after awhile not getting to it becomes more of a habit than getting to it and all of a sudden you realize with horror that you haven't really done any school for two years.  I can't really relate to this with homeschooling but I can with flossing!  (Just found out that I have a cavity. . . )  Some people are not natural self starters.  They are not naturally consistent.  Now that cure to that (as I tell my kids) is to just do it anyway.  Make lists.  Set up accountability.  Just Do It!  (To steal from Nike.)  

[Jean in Newcastle]

Oh, I agree consistency and practice are important. There's more than one way to skin a cat, however, and the desire to be consistent and practice can be nurtured, facilitated and supported by an approach that does not sit kids down at a desk Mon-Fri from age 5 to age 18 to work to a proven format.

 

 

Agree but will add that consistently working with the kids on learning in some way (even if they don't know they are learning) is important, in my opinion.  That's why I have Charlotte Mason's quote "Education is a life" in my signature.  This mom seems from what is written to be more disengaged than engaged with the kids and learning and that is the problem.  

[fairfarmhand]

 

I feel that encouraging each other to apply a single fix, in a punitive fashion, to homeschoolers who may or may not be part of our own community, is uncalled for.

 

A single fix can be this: Learn with your kids every day.

 

In some way.

 

Use something.

 

For heaven's sake, just.

 

Do.

 

Something.

 

Some people, myself included wouldn't have the discipline for unschooling because I'd drift very quickly into NON schooling.

 

As homeschoolers we must know ourselves, know our tendencies and our weaknesses (and that of our kids ) and use a method that will help us get past those weaknesses.

 

I have a couple kids who would learn lots unschooling. Several others wouldn't do well at ALL.

 

If we're unwilling to accept that self-examination, there's nothing wrong with a concerned friend going, "Um..honey. Are you sure this is right?" Usaully in someone with a humble, complaint heart, they guitilty go, "Uh, oops. I really need to get back on track."

[kiana]

A 10 yo struggling with MUS Alpha raises huge red flags for LDs. That's about where Geezle (ASD, ID) was at that age after having learned and lost his math facts several times. Honestly, it's time to have him evaluated for a LD because that's far, far outside normal for his age. Even if they haven't touched math, he should be picking up addition with carrying without a struggle at that age with those materials. I am assuming that he's seen the videos and has the rods. If he's only been handed the workbook with no instruction then it's completely possible he doesn't have an LD. MUS is one of the best math curricula for teaching kids with special needs. If it doesn't work, the next step is something like Semple Math which uses mnemonics to teach math survival skills to kids who will probably not live independently.

 

Yes. Seriously. I would be expecting a kid who just hadn't been taught yet to be zipping through MUS Alpha if receiving any sort of instruction.

[Laurie4b]

Or it could just be a matter of not having the same kind of deadlines and accountability in homeschooling.  If you write a public blog and there is a set time that you post it (daily, weekly, monthly etc.) then you have a deadline and an outside accountability of sorts.  If you speak at meetings or conferences then again you have a deadline to get stuff together and to present it.  With homeschooling you can say that you're going to do xyz but really no one outside of your family has to know if you followed through or not, esp. in a state with no oversight.  You can mean to get to it but after awhile not getting to it becomes more of a habit than getting to it and all of a sudden you realize with horror that you haven't really done any school for two years.  I can't really relate to this with homeschooling but I can with flossing!  (Just found out that I have a cavity. . . )  Some people are not natural self starters.  They are not naturally consistent.  Now that cure to that (as I tell my kids) is to just do it anyway.  Make lists.  Set up accountability.  Just Do It!  (To steal from Nike.)  

 

It also would fit into an ADHD scenario. People with ADHD have most trouble concentrating on stuff that is tedious (like doing dishes) and perhaps homeschooling the children is tedious. ADHD people do best with a lot of stimulation. So it's possible that speaking, blogging is engaging enough to keep her focused, but that she loses focus for "mundane" things. It also ties in with the "no deadlines" and lack of accountability because executive functioning is impaired with ADHD.  Not the only explanation, but a possible one.