Kids who don't/won't EAT

[Cammie]

Hive,

 

My ds9 is a lovely sweet child.  I have posted here about his size issues...he is in the 0-5% for height and weight.  He sees a pediatric endo but nothing has popped up as a cause for his small size (other than genetics!)

 

My biggest problem is that the child doesn't EAT.  Every meal always starts with him telling me how he is "not really hungry right now" just to lower expectations.  Actually, at this point I hardly have any expectations left.  Long ago I vowed not to make meal time a battle time.  So we let him eat pretty much what he wanted in whatever little quantity.  Now for dinner he is just being asked to eat a little tiny bit of the veggies that everyone is eating, some yogurt, a chapatti.

 

This morning my son lied to me (a very rare occurrence) telling me I sent two chapattis with nutella for his lunch yesterday so that he could say he ate one and there was one left.  However I KNOW (and he admitted) that I only sent one.  So he was lying to cover up the fact that he ate no lunch.  And at dinner last night he said he didn't need to eat because he had a big lunch. 

 

I am just AT MY WITS END.  I need some Hive suggestions.  PLEASE.

 

(Adding - he is healthy, he is energetic, he plays soccer, he is smart...it doesn't appear that not eating has impacted much physically - except perhaps his size.)

[Arcadia]

What does he eat after soccer? Mine are picky and my younger is "small for age". I pack liquid food for school/classes like lassi, milk as those will get eaten. Solid food take time and my kids want to play tag during lunch so they don't eat.

After sports is when my boys are hungry enough to eat a full meal so we pack a family size lunch bag.

[Cammie]

Yesterday his intake was

 

One cereal bar for breakfast, small amount of juice.

 

Snack at school  - some fruit or a jam sandwich

 

Lunch - nothing

 

Snack after school - popcorn

 

Dinner - (after a minor battle) one chapatti, a teaspoon of okra curry, a small cup of mango yogurt, a handful of grapes.

[Rosie_0801]

A lack of B vitamins causes reduced appetite. 

[gardenmom5]

does he have sensory issues and recognize (or not) hunger?  I had that problem with dudeling. 

 

micronutrient deficiencies?  as we got his chemistry more under control - I noticed he also started eating more.  (he grew a bunch - plus put on enough weight I didn't have to get him a slim-jeans in a size too short because that was the size that fit his waist.)

 

keep a journal of everything he eats so you have a better idea of how much he is eating.  I had one who would go three days without eating - then eat everything in sight on the fourth day. . . . sigh.  but hey, that ability to eat as much as he could when food was available, and go without other times saved my father-in-laws life in prison camp.

[Cammie]

A lack of B vitamins causes reduced appetite. 

 

I will get this checked ASAP.

[RKWAcademy]

My daughter is almost 6 now.  She was a preemie (born at 28 wks, but as tiny as a 24-weeker, due to lack of nutrition from her cord!, her twin was much bigger).  She was born tiny and has always been tiny.  We struggle to get her to eat.  We went through periods of spiking her food with added calories (I got very creative - applesauce spiked with melted butter!) and eating therapy and constant battles.  But, her doctor says she's healthy (and strong as an ox, she's a perfect gymnast), she's just petite.  I confirm every time that her doctor is not concerned.  So I dropped the drama and the fights and the begging.  I just let it go.  She gets hungry, she eats.  **Most of the time** I just accept what she's eaten.  Sometimes I slip and start to harp on her, but it really never ends well.  But, I do make sure that she doesn't get any junk food.  The small amounts she eats are going to be fruit, vegetable, meat, eggs, peanut butter, or something equally nutritionally dense.  No carb, sugar, etc taking up room that good stuff could be using!  She now has a pretty sophisticated palate for a kid.  Also, at least when she was younger, she was filling up on liquid calories - milk mostly - and that left little room for food.  So, when I cut the milk (and juice, but she never really had that much), she ate a lot more.  Now, she only gets milk in the morning and in the afternoon as a snack. 

 

Our situations don't sound exactly alike, though, because my daughter does get hungry and ask for food.  But she eats just tiny amounts.  Not sure I offered any help, but I have been there.  And I am assured by her doctor that she is healthy, just petite.  So, I guess, if your doctor doesn't see a problem with his health, maybe he's doing ok.  I know there are medications that can stimulate appetite, but my doctor said my daughter wouldn't need that.  You could ask your doctor.  Also, maybe try ridding his diet of empty carbs or juice.  Even if he protests the choices for a few days, he'll eventually eat.  Or, have you tried eating therapy.  I think she was about two when we did that, but it could help.  Sorry you're dealing with this.  I know how frustrating it can be.

[Cammie]

does he have sensory issues and recognize (or not) hunger?  I had that problem with dudeling. 

 

micronutrient deficiencies?  as we got his chemistry more under control - I noticed he also started eating more.  (he grew a bunch - plus put on enough weight I didn't have to get him a slim-jeans in a size too short because that was the size that fit his waist.)

 

keep a journal of everything he eats so you have a better idea of how much he is eating.  I had one who would go three days without eating - then eat everything in sight on the fourth day. . . . sigh.  but hey, that ability to eat as much as he could when food was available, and go without other times saved my father-in-laws life in prison camp.

 

I have wondered about the sensory issues...but not sure if we have professionals here in Bangalore that deal with it.

 

I have a series of blood tests that I will be getting done - I will check and see if they will address micronutrient issues.  How did you get your son's chemistry under control?  Supplements?

[MiMi 4under3]

Yesterday his intake was

 

One cereal bar for breakfast, small amount of juice.

 

Snack at school  - some fruit or a jam sandwich

 

Lunch - nothing

 

Snack after school - popcorn

 

Dinner - (after a minor battle) one chapatti, a teaspoon of okra curry, a small cup of mango yogurt, a handful of grapes.

 

Sounds like he prefers sweet foods to satisfy what little appetite he has.

 

Perhaps cut out sugar to increase his appetite for protein and veggies? I know it must be difficult to forbid any type of food for a child who isn't eating much, but maybe it's worth a try.

 

DD10 is a very picky eater - she prefers carbs and sweets - and otherwise doesn't eat much. Well, at camp last summer, because she didn't have her usual fare available, she ate a hot dog and green beans - two foods she had never even tried at home!

[lovinmyboys]

I'm not sure this is helpful, but that intake of food is similar to my ds8 sometimes. I'm not saying it's at all the same thing because my ds doesn't have any eating or growth issues, but he definitely goes through stages of eating very little, but it seems to satisfy him. I also have an 8yr old nephew,who I spend quite a bit of time with, and that seems like a typical day for him too. My ds, though, will go through stages of eating more. Do other kids his age eat much more than that? It seems lots of my friends with children that age talk about how their lunches come back with nothing eaten out of them.

 

My ds (almost 3) also very regularly eats next to nothing. I have brought it up with his pediatrician several times, but he isn't concerned. Today he had about 6 bites of a pancake and maybe 3 pieces of cheese and that is all. He seems to have lots of energy and next to no behavior problems (an indication of not being hungry?). He is small for his age, but healthy. I go through stages of worrying, but I really don't want food battles. It is concerning though when I offer meals that aren't touched more than once a day. Maybe they get calories from the air?

[Rosie_0801]

I have wondered about the sensory issues...but not sure if we have professionals here in Bangalore that deal with it.

 

 

I don't expect that all food related sensory stuff is related to retained primitive reflexes but some is. You don't need a professional to deal with them. You can do it yourself.

[MiMi 4under3]

My daughter is almost 6 now.  She was a preemie (born at 28 wks, but as tiny as a 24-weeker, due to lack of nutrition from her cord!, her twin was much bigger).  She was born tiny and has always been tiny.  We struggle to get her to eat.  We went through periods of spiking her food with added calories (I got very creative - applesauce spiked with melted butter!) and eating therapy and constant battles.  But, her doctor says she's healthy (and strong as an ox, she's a perfect gymnast), she's just petite.  I confirm every time that her doctor is not concerned.  So I dropped the drama and the fights and the begging.  I just let it go.  She gets hungry, she eats.  **Most of the time** I just accept what she's eaten.  Sometimes I slip and start to harp on her, but it really never ends well.  But, I do make sure that she doesn't get any junk food.  The small amounts she eats are going to be fruit, vegetable, meat, eggs, peanut butter, or something equally nutritionally dense.  No carb, sugar, etc taking up room that good stuff could be using!  She now has a pretty sophisticated palate for a kid.  Also, at least when she was younger, she was filling up on liquid calories - milk mostly - and that left little room for food.  So, when I cut the milk (and juice, but she never really had that much), she ate a lot more.  Now, she only gets milk in the morning and in the afternoon as a snack. 

 

Our situations don't sound exactly alike, though, because my daughter does get hungry and ask for food.  But she eats just tiny amounts.  Not sure I offered any help, but I have been there.  And I am assured by her doctor that she is healthy, just petite.  So, I guess, if your doctor doesn't see a problem with his health, maybe he's doing ok.  I know there are medications that can stimulate appetite, but my doctor said my daughter wouldn't need that.  You could ask your doctor.  Also, maybe try ridding his diet of empty carbs or juice.  Even if he protests the choices for a few days, he'll eventually eat.  Or, have you tried eating therapy.  I think she was about two when we did that, but it could help.  Sorry you're dealing with this.  I know how frustrating it can be.

 

Funny, my picky eater was also the smaller twin at birth. Her sister would drink 3-4 ounces of breast milk, she'd only take in a quarter of an ounce!

 

They're the same size now, even though her sister has a voracious appetite and eats any new food that's offered to her.

[Shellydon]

This type of food refusal isn't normal.  I think you need to see a feeding specialist, usually a speech pathologist.  This book is very helpful for picky eaters  http://www.amazon.com/Food-Chaining-Feeding-Problems-Child%C2%92s/dp/1600940161

[Cammie]

I don't expect that all food related sensory stuff is related to retained primitive reflexes but some is. You don't need a professional to deal with them. You can do it yourself.

 

The reason I am open to this is because I have seen how ...traumatic (for lack of a better word) it is for him to try something he doesn't want to eat.  He is such a calm, mature child. But tears will run if forced to eat something he doesn't want (this doesn't happen often...but sometimes.)

 

Where do you suggest I start?  A book? A website?

[applethyme]

Ds has been through years of feeding therapy and for a while had to have g-tube feedings.  I would also recommend the food chaining book.  It really helped ds.  I also sneak in extra calories where I can.  Heavy cream instead of milk, mashed avocado, extra butter on all veggies.  Ds is still is the low percentiles for weight but he is finally growing. 

[Cammie]

This type of food refusal isn't normal.  I think you need to see a feeding specialist, usually a speech pathologist.  This book is very helpful for picky eaters  http://www.amazon.com/Food-Chaining-Feeding-Problems-Child%C2%92s/dp/1600940161

 

Ok, I checked, it is available here in India - will order today...thanks for the recommendation.  Like I said, I have not come across any "feeding specialists" here in Bangalore.  And I have been to quite a few doctors over the years (gastro, endo, pediatric) trying to address these issues.

[RKWAcademy]

Funny, my picky eater was also the smaller twin at birth. Her sister would drink 3-4 ounces of breast milk, she'd only take in a quarter of an ounce!

 

They're the same size now, even though her sister has a voracious appetite and eats any new food that's offered to her.

 

Ah, I remember the days of being desperate for just a few more mls from her!  I am so glad to be done with counting her intake!  So stressful.  My DD will never catch up to my son.  He's a big chunk of guy!  She's a petite gymnast.  No one thinks they are twins now.  Most people think she is about 4 and he's 6 or 7.

[RKWAcademy]

Ok, I checked, it is available here in India - will order today...thanks for the recommendation.  Like I said, I have not come across any "feeding specialists" here in Bangalore.  And I have been to quite a few doctors over the years (gastro, endo, pediatric) trying to address these issues.

 

A feeding specialist would be a speech therapist.  Not all handle those issues, but some do.  Ours was very good, if for nothing else than to reassure me.  We had one evaluation on sensory issues, but it never went anywhere else.  You might look into that since you mentioned his extreme reactions to new foods. 

 

[KungFuPanda]

My oldest ate like a bird.  We had a pizza party at the age of six because she finally hit 30 pounds and I felt that warranted a celebration.  She has just always been tiny.  She was 5 1/2 lbs and full term.  She grew steadily, but slowly.  Her height was always near the 50th percentile so she looked even thinner.  Most of her was arms and legs.  Her appetite picked up when she started doing multiple dance classes each week.  She was nine or ten before she could finish a kid's meal at a restaurant.  

 

I'm happy to report that she is 'grown' now.  She's 18, healthy, and finished growing at 5'3". She 'might' weigh 100lbs if she's wearing her winter coat and boots.  She's just little.  I come from a family of small women, so i was never very alarmed. Also, her first pediatrician was a tiny woman with tiny children so I never experienced a physician-induced freak out over this kid's size.

 

My daughter is super cute.  I know this is easier for girls, but her boyfriend is really small for a guy too.  He looks big next to her.  He doesn't seem to be held back because of his size. I think he's the tallest person in his family.  His older brother just went to West Point.  As long as it doesn't become a self esteem issue it's all good.

[Paige]

Has he had the general blood work up to rule out allergies, intolerances, reflux, etc.? There are a lot of issues that could be affecting his willingness to eat and everything medical should be ruled out before it is assumed to be behavioral. A lot of times, it will be something medical combined with behavioral. For my DC, reflux caused pain and gagging which made eating sort of scary and not fun. They needed behavioral therapy, but it wouldn't have worked without also getting their reflux under control. 

 

There's so many things it could be: reflux, celiac, oral allergies, low muscle tone, constipation (he'll feel full because he kind of is), anxiety, low vitamins, milk allergy, sensory w/ textures, sensory with tastes....

 

Sensory therapy is easy to do at home. Google SOS Feeding and you'll find info on how to do it. 

[SKL]

Generally my kids eat best when I serve buffet style and let them decide.  They have days when they eat very little, and other days when they're very enthusiastic about some dish or other.

 

One of mine is petite, and she happens to be the most picky one.  It may be that she would be taller if she ate more.  I don't know.  I do tell her that to encourage her to eat more protein :P but that is more to give her a sense of control.  I don't actually care if she is short, as long as she can do the things she wants to do.

 

I think if your child is acting normal in other respects, he is probably eating enough for what he needs right now.

[Okra]

Have you taken him to a second Dr. for a second opinion?  I say if at least 2 Dr.'s aren't too worried, try to let it go for a little while.  

 

I have 4 children all have been in the 1% on their weight.  My pediatrician starts using decimal points when they go under 5%, so they have each been 1.7%, 1.3%, 1.6%, and 1.2% (And, yes I feed my children) Currently, my 17y year old daughter weighs 90 pounds and is exactly 5' 0.  She is healthy, happy, and is just a tiny person.  When she was nine, honestly, I freaked out.  I was SO Worried!  She had a sickly kind of year, and I was terribly worried about her.  Also, it seemed that she grew taller that year and she just seemed so skinny!  It actually took her a few years to fill out a little bit after her growth spurt, but she has ended up fine.  Some people are just tiny people.

[Cammie]

Yup, we did the testing to rule out celiac's years ago.  I don't see any gagging, reflux type behavior.  No constipation.

 

I do feel there is anxiety around food.

 

I have had 2nd, 3rd, and 4th opinions over the years.  Pediatricians, gastro, endo.  The endo is very good, we did a food diary, she has tracked him for a year, he does have slower than normal growth rate.  I do feel a discussion about growth hormone is probably around the corner.

 

He has a diet that includes - chicken, pb, milk, bread, bananas, apples, grapes, cheese, hummus, pizza, and maybe a few more items.  It is just such a SMALL quantity.

All this has become a bigger issue because my 3 year old niece is living with us and she eats ALL THE TIME and EVERYTHING.  She must eat in a day what my son eats in a week (maybe more!)  It has just put into sharper focus how little he eats when the toddler next to him is packing it in!

[Rosie_0801]

The reason I am open to this is because I have seen how ...traumatic (for lack of a better word) it is for him to try something he doesn't want to eat.  He is such a calm, mature child. But tears will run if forced to eat something he doesn't want (this doesn't happen often...but sometimes.)

 

Where do you suggest I start?  A book? A website?

 

By stroking his face, mouth and chin when he'll allow it.

 

This won't, of course, help, if it is not the problem! Even if it is, you may not see results for a long time. Also check for a retained palmar reflex. You should be able to tickle his hands with a paintbrush 40 times with no response beyond a mild "that's annoying." If he pulls away before you get to 40, it's a strong reflex. If he keeps curling his fingers, even a little, it's a mild one. The mouth reflexes won't go away until the palmar is gone. If he has a retained palmar, retained mouth reflexes are more likely. If he doesn't, they are less likely. Anyway, it doesn't hurt or cost anything so there's no harm in trying.

[Momling]

If he's already visited his pediatrician and had a work-up and there's nothing physically wrong with him, and he's healthy and thriving, I'd let it go. Maybe insist on a vitamin or ensure if it makes you feel better. My daughter was hugely below the third percentile as a young child and appeared to eat almost nothing. Luckily we had a pediatrician and nutritionist who helped us realize it's okay -- a variation on normal. She started eating a lot more at puberty and now is a very appropriate weight.

[Okra]

Well, you know it is so hard to see the future, you know?  Odds are, you will look back in several years and remember how worried you were, and everything will be fine.  It is so hard to be a parent in the here and now and be worried.

 

It is a fine line to walk, I think, about food and eating because on one hand pushing him to eat and making it a battle certainly isn't healthy, but you would like him to eat more.

 

If it was me, I would let the lunch go.  You aren't there, and really don't have much control over it.  You really don't want him to start lying about lunch to you.  I would not even ask what he ate.  I know it's not much help, but I do think that being light-hearted does tend to work better in the long run than heavy handed power struggles.

 

I wish I had advice for you, but I just wanted to give you hugs because I know it's hard to be worried about something.

 

Remember that he is active, energetic, and smart.  If this was a really huge problem, then he wouldn't have enough energy to run and around.

[mommymonster]

I feel for you. We've fought many food battles at our house. How is your son's energy levels? Is he active? Is he too tired to participate in sports or other activities? Does he drink enough liquids to stay hydrated? If he's hydrated (urine is not dark yellow) and active, I would be less likely to worry. If he's tired and dehydrated, I would go further with testing. 

 

 

[Cammie]

I feel for you. We've fought many food battles at our house. How is your son's energy levels? Is he active? Is he too tired to participate in sports or other activities? Does he drink enough liquids to stay hydrated? If he's hydrated (urine is not dark yellow) and active, I would be less likely to worry. If he's tired and dehydrated, I would go further with testing. 

 

Very energetic and active.  Participates in all the sports at school, does karate, etc.  Drinks water, milk, juice.

 

I just don't know what his body is using for fuel!???

[SparklyUnicorn]

One of mine is not a big eater.  He just never has been.  Height I think he is close to average . Weight he is a bit under.  Doctor is not concerned because he is growing.  And he is also my kid that never stops moving.

 

I wish I had this problem myself.  LOL

 

And he has this weird thing that he has to leave something on the plate.  I'll put next to no food on the plate thinking I've finally figured out the amount he'll eat without wasting food.  He still leaves food on the plate.  Drives me nuts.  He is 9.

 

Of course ask a doctor if you are concerned.  I did ask and nobody has been concerned. 

[Debbi in Texas]

I don't really have any answers, just wanted you to know that I know exactly how you feel. My son is 20 now, at college, and is eating better. He still weighs only about 110. He was born at 37 weeks and weighed on 3 lb 4 oz, so I have been trying to get him to gain weight since before he was born.

 

When he was young and eating nothing, I took him to wal-mart, and told him I would buy him anything he wanted to eat. He would pick out a few frozen meals. That is literally how we survived. The medical community was no help."He'll eat when he gets hungry."

 

I hope you get some answers.

[katilac]

Yesterday his intake was

 

One cereal bar for breakfast, small amount of juice.

 

Snack at school  - some fruit or a jam sandwich

 

Lunch - nothing

 

Snack after school - popcorn

 

Dinner - (after a minor battle) one chapatti, a teaspoon of okra curry, a small cup of mango yogurt, a handful of grapes.

 

I don't know, that doesn't seem really out of line to me. I'd likely up his B vitamins, just in case, and then try to stop reacting/commenting for a couple of months. Any anxiety about food is only going to make things worse. 

[Kalmia]

Hi Cammie!

 

I was watching a video by the guy who wrote this book( http://www.amazon.com/Mindless-Eating-More-Than-Think-ebook/dp/B000MAHC0E/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1424356561&sr=8-2&keywords=mindless+eating) when surprisingly he mentioned that the mindless eating he was warning us all against was often a great strategy to use for kids and others who needed to up their intake of calories or of healthy foods! You don't need the book as it is generally about losing weight, but the upshot was that feeding a picky or underweight child in front of the TV is a good thing. As you know, my daughter is a picky eater in terms of types of food (but not quantity, that girl can scarf down the fries!), she is so much more likely to eat her veggies and eat more of them if they are delivered to her after she is engaged in a TV show or video. I do not say a word, just put the bowl in her lap and walk away. Nine times out of ten the bowl will be empty by the time the show is done. I think having the sole focus be on the food as it is presented at most meals makes it more difficult to eat for some children. Generally, everyone eats more when distracted.

 

Hope you all are doing well! Miss you.

[Pam in CT]

Yeah, we've been there.  For years, literally years, my son did.not.eat.anything.  He wasn't picky, he didn't complain, he just didn't eat more than a couple of teaspoons' worth of whatever the rest of us were having.  Our pediatrician *was* worried -- his energy levels were on the low side, he was susceptible to stomach problems, we did scores and scores of tests, tried various elimination approaches, nothing definitive ever showed up.

 

FWIW, here's the approach we took -

 

I made him take a daily multivitamin.  

I removed all "empty calories" from the house, so anything he did eat would count.

I bought full fat everything.

Without asking, I stuck bowls of nuts in front of him as he read, played on his gizmos etc so he'd eat absentmindedly.  (This actually worked better than any other single strategy.)

I left hardboiled eggs and cut-up veggies w/hummus in the refrigerator all the time, so any time the mood struck him, he'd have an effortless,  nutritious option.

I snuck extra calories into his (teeny tiny) portions of anything soft (yogurt, mashed potatoes, etc)

I worked hard to ensure he got enough sleep.  (When overtired, he eats even less.)

 

 

We were worried that he wasn't growing, but the year he was 13-14 he grew 8 full inches.  (He gained 2 pounds that year.  2.)  Now he's 5'11.  We don't worry about his growth anymore.  He's 16 now and still only 115 pounds -- less than, ahem, me -- and he still doesn't eat anywhere near a normal teenage boy... but it's definitely better; and he's got the rest of his life to fill out his frame.

 

Good luck.  It's very nerve-wracking.

 

 

[Cammie]

Hi Cammie!

 

I was watching a video by the guy who wrote this book( http://www.amazon.com/Mindless-Eating-More-Than-Think-ebook/dp/B000MAHC0E/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1424356561&sr=8-2&keywords=mindless+eating) when surprisingly he mentioned that the mindless eating he was warning us all against was often a great strategy to use for kids and others who needed to up their intake of calories or of healthy foods! You don't need the book as it is generally about losing weight, but the upshot was that feeding a picky or underweight child in front of the TV is a good thing. As you know, my daughter is a picky eater in terms of types of food (but not quantity, that girl can scarf down the fries!), she is so much more likely to eat her veggies and eat more of them if they are delivered to her after she is engaged in a TV show or video. I do not say a word, just put the bowl in her lap and walk away. Nine times out of ten the bowl will be empty by the time the show is done. I think having the sole focus be on the food as it is presented at most meals makes it more difficult to eat for some children. Generally, everyone eats more when distracted.

 

Hope you all are doing well! Miss you.

 

Miss you too!  Hope everyone is doing well back home!

 

Good tips...I will have to try something like this.  I have got to get more food into him!

[mommymonster]

Very energetic and active.  Participates in all the sports at school, does karate, etc.  Drinks water, milk, juice.

 

I just don't know what his body is using for fuel!???

 

Maybe he's getting some of his calories from the milk and juice? Is he drinking a lot of milk? It has great calories, calcium, and fat, so... yippee!  Would he be up for a smoothie after karate? Maybe fruit and something like a calorie booster? Also, maybe have his karate teacher just mention how he needs to fuel his body? 

 

Mindless eating is wonderful for the little people. Also, the food chaining book is great. 

 

For school lunch, this is going to sound silly, but does his lunch look like the other kids? Is there a bullying/shaming issue at all? Or in the alternative, is he getting additional calories there -- maybe kids are giving him things? [i'm just throwing out things to think about.]

 

But honestly, it sounds like he's making do. My sons are super picky eaters. One is making it work. The other wasn't. The one who wasn't had a medical reason for not eating. Now that the medical issue is being treated, he is doing better. 

[Tsuga]

Sounds like he prefers sweet foods to satisfy what little appetite he has.

 

Perhaps cut out sugar to increase his appetite for protein and veggies? I know it must be difficult to forbid any type of food for a child who isn't eating much, but maybe it's worth a try.

 

DD10 is a very picky eater - she prefers carbs and sweets - and otherwise doesn't eat much. Well, at camp last summer, because she didn't have her usual fare available, she ate a hot dog and green beans - two foods she had never even tried at home!

 

My kids could survive on what OP's son eats, the sweets alone.

 

This is why we do not have milk and juice in our house. My older daughter would have nothing but that if it were an option, and when she used to go to my mom's where that was offered, that is all she'd eat.

 

 

I removed all "empty calories" from the house, so anything he did eat would count.

I bought full fat everything.

Without asking, I stuck bowls of nuts in front of him as he read, played on his gizmos etc so he'd eat absentmindedly.  (This actually worked better than any other single strategy.)

 

I do those things as a matter of course as well. Right now we have GSA cookies in the house and it's making my life hell.

[Princess5]

Hi Cammie, I can imagine how hard and worrisome it is if your child does not eat well, specially if they are not ata great spot on the growth chart. I have been there. I think what helped us is, since we figured out nothing was wrong with all the doc visits, i gave up stressing a lot, blaming myself and feeling guilty for his habits etc.. Like others mentioned bought only full fat milk, absolutely no juice at home, put butter/ghee in lots of things, reduced a lot of sweets drastically. he loves hot chocolate so I give with organic whole milk+organic hot cocoa with no sugar and he loves it.).

[xixstar]

You also may want to look into Zinc levels as well - one sign of deficiency is a lack of appetite or desire for food. Foods end up not tasting good. A zinc tally test is very easy to do to test his levels.   A good book I like that I believe has a simmilar case is 'Cure Your Child With Food"by nutritionist Kelly Dorfman. She also has good suggestions for a slower introduction of more foods as well that could be helpful.  But I would rule out nutrient deficiencies and intolerances first.

[Staceyshoe]

Has he ever had a scope?  (I know you mentioned ruling out celiac, but I'm not sure if that was just bloodwork.)  Is it possible that he associates food with pain?  We went through some issues with my oldest (esophagal inflammation resulting in refusal to eat--no reflux symptoms at all).  He never mentioned feeling pain because he always had pain and just thought it was "normal."

So sorry you're dealing with this!  It's a very difficult issue with so many possible causes.  Many people don't understand.  Hope you find a solution soon!

[poppy]

Yup, we did the testing to rule out celiac's years ago.  I don't see any gagging, reflux type behavior.  No constipation.

 

I do feel there is anxiety around food.

 

I have had 2nd, 3rd, and 4th opinions over the years.  Pediatricians, gastro, endo.  The endo is very good, we did a food diary, she has tracked him for a year, he does have slower than normal growth rate.  I do feel a discussion about growth hormone is probably around the corner.

 

He has a diet that includes - chicken, pb, milk, bread, bananas, apples, grapes, cheese, hummus, pizza, and maybe a few more items.  It is just such a SMALL quantity.

All this has become a bigger issue because my 3 year old niece is living with us and she eats ALL THE TIME and EVERYTHING.  She must eat in a day what my son eats in a week (maybe more!)  It has just put into sharper focus how little he eats when the toddler next to him is packing it in!

 

This is similar to my six year old's diet in terms of being able to count acceptable items on two hands. I was concerned about her eating no vegetables at all - plus mine will not eat fruit.

 

This post inspired me to try feeding therapy for her. 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/520322-update-on-my-picky-eater-started-feeding-therapy-and-its-working/?hl=%2Bfeeding+%2Btherapy&do=findComment&comment=5773326

 

I felt strange doing it because she doesn't have medical problems, but I was desperate.  She's been once -- but she responded really well to it. She ate bits of an apple, gagging at times, but determined to keep going.    Next time they are going to try banana (so she can eat the same thing as her best friend) and pizza ("So I can eat when we got to birthday parties").  Maybe something in that thread will help you.

 

[wendy not in HI]

You have been given so much great advice, so I just have one little thing to add:

 

A couple of my kids have been extra picky eaters and in the negative percentile for weight, and it's a little scary!!  One thing I noticed for my kids was that their best time to eat was that after school snack.  Instead of popcorn, I would have a good meal ready to go - hard boiled eggs, cheese, veggies, apples with peanut butter, chicken tenders, pasta, even ice cream - what ever he is willing to eat - have it available right after school. 

 

If they ate pretty good at snack time, then I wouldn't worry about dinner.  Which made dinner much more pleasant for everyone.  

 

[Blue22111]

One option is to go for extremely high nutrient foods that are not all that much for him to eat.

 

Another option is to put a bag of something he likes (goldfish, popcorn, crackers, chips, exc) and get him doing something else while he has the bag sitting there. Sometimes just having the food siting there can be enough (and if he is eating It and watching TV or something he may just start grabbing and eating without thinking about how he is "Not Hungry").