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URGENT Scary Prayer Request

Kate CA
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Colleen

Colleen

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I wish I did not know about this. I'm sorry. It's my fault, I know. I hear about something awful and familiarize myself with the hurting people. I personalize it and imagine what I would do if it were me in the midst of such torture. It doesn't bear thinking about...but I do. How does a mother bury her own child? It is too much to consider...but I am.

 

Tears.

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5kidsforME

5kidsforME

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I wish I did not know about this. I'm sorry. It's my fault, I know. I hear about something awful and familiarize myself with the hurting people. I personalize it and imagine what I would do if it were me in the midst of such torture. It does bear thinking about...but I do. How does a mother bury her own child? It is too much to think about....but I am.

 

Tears.

 

Colleen, I am right there with you. I even said to myself earlier, do not read anymore of the thread. I just can not help but go back to it. Maybe because I am finding it all out in real time, I don't know. Just tragic....heartwrenching.

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Colleen

Colleen

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Colleen, I am right there with you. I even said to myself earlier, do not read anymore of the thread. I just can not help but go back to it. Maybe because I am finding it all out in real time, I don't know.

 

Yes. You sit and think, "At this very moment, a mother like me, a mother of a three year old boy, has learned that her child is gone. Just like that." I just...I don't know how one goes on. I imagine myself 'til my dying die, yearning to rewind and relive that one day and do it all differently.

 

These are the times when I am far from comforted by the concept of God's omniscience. To accept the notion that He blessed this family with a child, knowing the boy would drown at his own home on this day. I can not pray to God at such a time. I can only admit my anger and lack of understanding to Him and ask that the Holy Spirit intercede on my behalf.

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5kidsforME

5kidsforME

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Yes. You sit and think, "At this very moment, a mother like me, a mother of a three year old boy, has learned that her child is gone. Just like that." I just...I don't know how one goes on. I imagine myself 'til my dying die, yearning to rewind and relive that one day and do it all differently.

 

These are the times when I am far from comforted by the concept of God's omniscience. To accept the notion that He blessed this family with a child, knowing the boy would drown at his own home on this day. I can not pray to God at such a time. I can only admit my anger and lack of understanding to Him and ask that the Holy Spirit intercede on my behalf.

 

Yes it is very hard to understand how He allows this to happen. Well for me at times it is.

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Mrs Mungo

Mrs Mungo

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I wish I did not know about this. I'm sorry. It's my fault, I know. I hear about something awful and familiarize myself with the hurting people. I personalize it and imagine what I would do if it were me in the midst of such torture. It doesn't bear thinking about...but I do. How does a mother bury her own child? It is too much to consider...but I am.

 

Tears.

 

I think this is a very human response, Colleen. We're all mothers, mothers who have worked and sacrificed and poured ourselves into our children. The tragedy is unspeakable. There aren't even words to think about it.

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5kidsforME

5kidsforME

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That just makes me feel sick, and I am ashamed to say I don't even know how to pray for them. How horrible.

 

I am praying that they feel the comfort of Jesus loving arms right now but I gotta tell ya, by golly, I just don't think much of anything could comfort me if one of my children where taken from me.

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Colleen

Colleen

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Unfortunately, I do know what it's like and my heart is absolutely broken for this family.:(

 

I know you are coming up on four years since your own daughter's passing. It seems like this kind of news must be even harder for those of you have truly experienced such grief.

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Reya

Reya

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Kate, sorry but I don't understand, how did her three year old go missing?

 

 

I left my 2-y-o playing happily in the kitchen, and half an hour later, a neighbor was bringing him up from down the mountain. Just about died of shock. He'd broken out the back door, out the back gate, and took the dogs on a "walk." I got padlocks that day and a lock he couldn't reach for the kitchen door! But he could have gotten hit by one of the neighbor's trucks coming up that twisty road, and that would have been it.

 

I am so sorry to hear of the news. I'm praying for them!

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mommybee

mommybee

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I left my 2-y-o playing happily in the kitchen, and half an hour later, a neighbor was bringing him up from down the mountain. Just about died of shock. He'd broken out the back door, out the back gate, and took the dogs on a "walk." I got padlocks that day and a lock he couldn't reach for the kitchen door!

 

I'll be praying, too!

 

Yeah I can see how it happens to the best of us. It's just so tragic. Like I said in another post my oldest was so fast he had a habit of disappearing literally when I was watching him. One time he slipped through some church doors and I couldn't believe it because I practically blinked and he was gone. I was watching him the whole time. No evidence the doors were even opened. Some nice ladies walked him back to our group. I was so scared after that and had to watch him like a hawk.

 

What has happened here is just so sad. I don't even want to imagine.

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Barb_

Barb_

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Yeah I can see how it happens to the best of us. It's just so tragic. Like I said in another post my oldest was so fast he had a habit of disappearing literally when I was watching him. One time he slipped through some church doors and I couldn't believe it because I practically blinked and he was gone. I was watching him the whole time. No evidence the doors were even opened. Some nice ladies walked him back to our group. I was so scared after that and had to watch him like a hawk.

 

What has happened here is just so sad. I don't even want to imagine.

 

Yes, this happened locally to a homeschooling family this week. Mom went upstairs for a few minutes to check on the older girls' progress leaving the 3yo playing quietly; in a heartbeat he managed to squeeze through the doggie door and drown in their pool. I've been reading comments like, "it just goes to show there is no substitute for vigilance" in the news reports. People are so quick to heap blame on the family just as they are suffering. These things happen every day and blessedly don't usually end tragically. When they do, the last thing the family needs is to be publicly torn apart.

 

Both families are in my thoughts tonight.

 

Barb

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Reya

Reya

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I want to add, more strongly, that there will be people who will want to blame the parents for every tragedy that involves the accidental death of a child. In these cases, no matter how above blame the parents were, there ALWAYS are people who want to make it a case of negligence. If the parents messed up, see, then everyone else can rest easy--we ALWAYS know where our kids are, so such a thing can NEVER happen to us.

 

First, those parents are lying to themselves. No matter how superhuman they are, they sleep and use the bathroom--never mind cook, read, etc., etc.--like everybody else. All it takes is the time to prepare a PB&J, and a toddler has time to slip out the door that your 7-y-o didn't lock. All it takes is going around to the back of the car to load groceries and for your child to discover that five-point safety harnesses are now within his strength to unbuckle, and he can be in front of a car. Or for your one-year-old to discover that she can climb out of her crib for the first time in the middle of the night, after which she crawls to the bathroom and falls headfirst into the toilet and drowns. It can happen to ANYONE. Pretending that kids get hurt only because parents mess up is horrible on so many levels that I can barely begin to express it.

 

Second, I've never met a parent who really does watch their children "every second" (*not* counting going to the bathroom and sleeping, and those sorts of things), though I've met plenty who believe that they do. Funnily enough, when a mother goes off about how such-and-such would NEVER happen with her child because she ALWAYS knows where her kid is and ALWAYS watches her, and then I go to her house, we usually sit in the living room while the kids come in and out of the living room, the kitchen, the bedrooms, etc., just like any mother does. Do we listen for them? Sure. Does she "never let them out of her sight?" Yeah, right. Her kids haven't nearly killed themselves mainly because of personality and statistics, not because she's the world's greatest mom.

 

Third, not only is hyper-vigilance unrealistic, it isn't a sign of good parenting, anyway, and on average, it won't make kids safer. Horrible things can happen no matter how vigilant you are, but in many ways, being MORE vigilant makes them MORE likely because a child has so few chances to gather bumps and bruises without constant parental warnings that he makes poor risk-taking choices whenever he does find himself alone--and that can be in a much more dangerous situation than if he were routinely exposed to very small dangers first.

 

Fourth, some children are just plain impossible to keep complete control of--and many children in the more normal spectrum have their moments, too. And a moment is all it takes. Ever been going out of church and turned around when someone calls your name? Ever stopped for a moment to decide on the brand of soup you want at the grocery store? Ever looked at a fast food menu for a half minute, deciding what to get? THAT'S how fast some kids will disappear. I recently saw a child with a T-shirt that said, "My name is Bobby. I am autistic. If I am found, please call 911 and 555-555-5555." Apparently, the child was so prone to disappearing that the parents, as it's impossible to bodily strap a child to you at all times, had resorted to making up all his shirts in this way.

 

If you haven't had an autistic kid who takes off, you CANNOT understand exactly how bad it can be. From that extreme, children run the whole gamut to those who are practically glued to your leg at all times. But I promise that there is not a parent out there of a semi-mobile child whose child has not, at one time or another, been in a situation that was possibly, however distantly, fatal.

 

We are all reminded of that possibility when tragedies like this occur, and we should respond with heartbreak and compassion, not criticism even in the depths of our hearts. Children do die of reckless endangerment, of course, just as they die of willful violence--but this was no such case. As I said, it reminds us, most painfully, of the vulnerability of our own families, but it should also remind us of the blessing that with so many dangers out there that this doesn't happen more often to more of us. Let's unite in our empathy and prayers for a sister who has suffered a loss that absolutely ANY of us might have faced and might yet face and ask God for his mercy on us all.

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hsmamainva

hsmamainva

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Reya is so correct on this one!!

 

My youngest is autistic and, although she is 6 1/2, she has the judgment of a 3 year old -- if that! She's extremely impulsive.

 

About 3 or 4 months ago, I had left the house to take my oldest daughter to work and forgot to close the overhead garage door. She walked right out of the house. About 10-15 minutes later, my husband realized that the house was too quiet and noticed the open door.

 

My daughter had walked a mile and a half down our street and was playing on someone's swingset!

 

The folks who live at the house noticed her there (it was a Sunday, thankfully!! Otherwise, they wouldn't have been home!!) and tried to talk to her. When they realized that she was non-verbal, they called the police.

 

My husband was driving up and down our street, calling for her and he saw the police car and stopped to tell them, "My daughter's missing and she's autistic." And the police officer said, "We've found her."

 

They were very understanding (the police officer had a niece who was autistic), but it scared us sooo bad!!! We immediately installed an alarm system and it's kept armed at all times.

 

I could be this family!! And that's soo scary!! (We have a lake behind our house and acres and acres of woods)

 

It is such a tragedy!! I will be praying for the family!

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Doran

Doran

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The little boy was pulled from the pond. He is gone. Please please pray for this family.

 

 

Even trying to fathom this is painful. There is no salve to put on such a wound, but Kate, when it's right, please let your friends know that we are holding them in our hearts and sending strength. I'm so very sorry.

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Jugglin'5

Jugglin'5

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Yes. You sit and think, "At this very moment, a mother like me, a mother of a three year old boy, has learned that her child is gone. Just like that." I just...I don't know how one goes on. I imagine myself 'til my dying die, yearning to rewind and relive that one day and do it all differently.

 

These are the times when I am far from comforted by the concept of God's omniscience. To accept the notion that He blessed this family with a child, knowing the boy would drown at his own home on this day. I can not pray to God at such a time. I can only admit my anger and lack of understanding to Him and ask that the Holy Spirit intercede on my behalf.

 

Colleen, these thoughts really express mine as well. I think they are natural, and I think God understands when we feel this way. Thank you for posting them. I feel sick at my stomach. "Lord, I can't pray, help me to pray!" I live out in the country with a pond not too far away, and these things feed my fears. That poor mother and father.

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