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RANT - Would it hurt to be a little polite?


abba12
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So, I live in Australia and just sold a set of itty bitty phonics readers on a local homeschool website. I described them with their full name as a complete set of 36 books. The price was approx their new price, as they were unused, and postage costs from the US to Australia mean that they were considerably cheaper from me than brand new from a US store, even with the same base sell price. It's generally accepted here that such items can be sold at a near new price because of the postage difference buying them locally. They sold pretty quick to a lady who has only a moderate level of english.

 

I state very clearly, repeatedly, that they are being sent in two separate envelopes as that is the cheaper postage option, and that they may arrive on different days. One envelope had 28 books while the other had 8 (it worked out cheapest to not divide them evenly).

 

A few days after sending I get a ranting email, asking am I kidding, how can I justify selling such a small handful of books for that price, they aren't worth that brand new, I charged too much, She wants a refund immediately. She was quite rude and upsetting to be honest. I know I shouldn't take it personally, I suppose I'm too sensitive. Then a second email saying 'oh, is there more coming? Well, I don't expect it will get any better since they are cheaper brand new' (she has forgotten to take the exchange rate into account and is just looking at the smaller number in USD I would say, since I have priced it almost identically and I am not charging an extra $20 for shipping like it would cost from the US.)

 

I am going to guess she got the letter with 8 books today, and the big one will arrive tomorrow. But she is saying now that she wants a refund even if the rest arrive because they are apparently cheaper new (only way she could get them cheaper is through RR as part of a very large order, and even then it's not much cheaper and would take two months to get here). I figure it's buyers remorse, and she already decided she wasn't happy with them today before realizing there was more coming, so now she will never be happy with them, even if she would have been happy had they all arrived at once.

 

Still, would it have hurt to send a polite email saying 'this isn't what I expected to receive'? As a homeschooler shouldn't she be researching what she buys instead of purchasing anything that comes up on the second hand market? Or at least have some half decent comprehension skills to read what I clearly wrote? I suppose that's snarky of me, but I'm feeling pretty defensive, and I like to think most homeschooling parents are pretty bright and savvy themselves. I don't like being verbally attacked over simple misunderstandings. Had she emailed me politely I may have even offered a partial refund if she was still unhappy when the second letter arrived, but at this point I don't really feel much desire to fix things. Guilt doesn't work too well on me.

 

So, PSA, being polite to the person who sold you stuff will get you a whole lot further than attacking them and making sarcastic comments and accusing them of ripping you off. And I am remembering why I hate selling privately and should just stick to ebay.

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Sorry you received so much grief while trying to be efficient and economical.   My guess would be that because her English is weak, she doesn't understand the terminology for exchange rate, postage rate and other reductions you have provided for her.  Pitty she didn't figure out she could buy them cheaper (in her mind, anyway) new before irritating you.

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So what if they cost the same as new, she could have priced that herself and bought new. Selling to another party means settling on a price. She agreed. I don't think she sounds unintelligent, just confused. I would not assume so much about other homeschooling parents (that they are "bright" or "savvy"), or be quick to assume a complaint means that they are neither. I'd repeat that the other bag is coming. Don't get so riled up.

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Unless they are damaged or not as you described you have no obligation to refund (you probably know that already).  It's her responsibility to do research not the sellers.  It's also her responsibility to understand the transaction and you should not be penalized because *she* didn't understand.    I'm sorry she's being so rude.... I might even consider calling her out on it. :grouphug:

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I don't expect better behavior from homeschoolers than I do from other people.  As you know, you are totally in the right here.  I would tell her that she will get a full refund only after she has returned all the books.  She may be scamming hoping to keep them plus the refund.  Unfortunately I've run into this sort of thing before on EBay and other sales sites.  Does the site give you any protection?  Or did you all use PayPal which provides some protection?  

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Agree with the others. If you described them accurately and were as clear as you could be about price and shipping, then you've done your due diligence. I'd not refund one red cent until I had received the books back in the same condition as which I sent them

 

I fail to understand the mentality of giving in to people who are clearly in the wrong, especially doing so hurts you financially. (I'm not saying you, OP, are planning on doing so and I don't think others in the thread have advocated it. This tendency is something I've noticed.) I also agree with Jean that my thoughts lean toward a scam. Don't fall for it.

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Well she wants to send the books back and get a refund, even though she hasn't received the second lot to even look at yet. Sigh. It's annoying but I suppose I'm not out any if she returns them as sent right? Except for the fact I lost the sale of course, for money I was kind of needing for other school supplies and already spent once the transaction went through. Now I need to find that money elsewhere, as I wouldn't have bought a couple of items last weekend if that money hadn't been sitting there. 

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Well she wants to send the books back and get a refund, even though she hasn't received the second lot to even look at yet. Sigh. It's annoying but I suppose I'm not out any if she returns them as sent right? Except for the fact I lost the sale of course, for money I was kind of needing for other school supplies and already spent once the transaction went through. Now I need to find that money elsewhere, as I wouldn't have bought a couple of items last weekend if that money hadn't been sitting there. 

 

In that case, no refund.

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Hi Grumpy

 

These are the books you agreed to purchase for X price, as described in my advertisement on X place on X date.  I have sent them to you as agreed.  I am sorry you do not like them now that you have them.  Feel free to relist them for sale anywhere you see fit.

 

thanks

 

abba12

 

and never sell to her again.

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Ignore her requests for a refund. She knew what it was and is just trying to get you to make up for her bad judgement call.

 

People purposefully use these tactics all the time to get cheaper products, refunds and deductions in price.  You clearly listed the product, sold the product legally and ethically.  Do not let her manipulate you into giving her any more of your time And definitely not your money.

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I'm in Australia also, and thinking if it was one of the fb groups then the buyer may not necessarily be a homeschooler.  If it was one of the homeschool sites it's more likely she is a homeschooler.  I have bought and sold on some of these sites before, I agree prices are high because you are getting it without paying international postage.  I always check before I buy, I know exactly what deal I'm getting and I would expect others to also.  Postage here can be awful, I've posted things in more than one package before to save money for the buyer, I always let them know just like you've done.  I don't think a refund is warranted in this case.

 

PS- My last two RR orders only took 3-4 weeks!  Happy dance!

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I would just be matter-of-fact in dealing with her. If she knew exactly what she was getting and for what price, then that is a fair deal. You are not obligated to offer her a refund. If the books were damaged, in worse shape than you advertised, or something like that, then that would be different. Just be calm and state the facts in your dealings with her. Don't engage or return her rudeness. She's probably just mad at herself for deciding to make the purchase.

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I'm in Australia also, and thinking if it was one of the fb groups then the buyer may not necessarily be a homeschooler.  If it was one of the homeschool sites it's more likely she is a homeschooler.  I have bought and sold on some of these sites before, I agree prices are high because you are getting it without paying international postage.  I always check before I buy, I know exactly what deal I'm getting and I would expect others to also.  Postage here can be awful, I've posted things in more than one package before to save money for the buyer, I always let them know just like you've done.  I don't think a refund is warranted in this case.

 

PS- My last two RR orders only took 3-4 weeks!  Happy dance!

 

It was the aussiehomeschool classifieds, I've usually had pretty good success there in the past.

Also, 3-4 weeks? Nice! My last one got held up in customs for 3 weeks because someone wrote the wrong number on the form and declared it over $1000. I've gotten a US forwarding address now, much quicker, about the same cost in postage as RR, and I now have access to things they don't stock, like amazon items not on BD or private sales.

 

 

Thanks for the advice everyone. I guess I am feeling guilted into giving the refund, and I noticed a few other posters suggested just letting her return them as-sent so I was feeling like I had to.

But I did advertise them correctly, and if I refunded now I'd be out money. If she had been polite maybe I'd have been more inclined to let her return them, but at this point I don't particularly feel like dealing with her.

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If I buy something and when I receive it have buyers remorse, it isn't the sellers problem. So long as they described it well and sold it as described and were honest, then they shouldn't have to deal with it once they have sent it. If I really don't want them, I can re-sell them. They aren't your problem anymore.

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Nope, refunding would be nice (with the afore mentioned stipulations) but you are in no way obligated to do so. No guilt. Just be polite and professional.

 

And dont waste one more moment worrying about it.

 

It was the aussiehomeschool classifieds, I've usually had pretty good success there in the past.

Also, 3-4 weeks? Nice! My last one got held up in customs for 3 weeks because someone wrote the wrong number on the form and declared it over $1000. I've gotten a US forwarding address now, much quicker, about the same cost in postage as RR, and I now have access to things they don't stock, like amazon items not on BD or private sales.

 

 

Thanks for the advice everyone. I guess I am feeling guilted into giving the refund, and I noticed a few other posters suggested just letting her return them as-sent so I was feeling like I had to.

But I did advertise them correctly, and if I refunded now I'd be out money. If she had been polite maybe I'd have been more inclined to let her return them, but at this point I don't particularly feel like dealing with her.

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She can't change her mind now about her decision to pay $xx for a product.  The only beef she has is if the product isn't as you described it.

 

A couple of weeks ago I received something that was not as expected.  I checked the ad and then sent a message to the seller explaining how it was different from what the ad implied.  No drama involved.  The seller said he hadn't realized the difference and gave me a full refund.  I was ticked when I received the product, but there was no point putting emotions into my message to ruin the seller's day.  Why do people do that?

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It was the aussiehomeschool classifieds, I've usually had pretty good success there in the past.

Also, 3-4 weeks? Nice! My last one got held up in customs for 3 weeks because someone wrote the wrong number on the form and declared it over $1000. I've gotten a US forwarding address now, much quicker, about the same cost in postage as RR, and I now have access to things they don't stock, like amazon items not on BD or private sales.

 

 

Thanks for the advice everyone. I guess I am feeling guilted into giving the refund, and I noticed a few other posters suggested just letting her return them as-sent so I was feeling like I had to.

But I did advertise them correctly, and if I refunded now I'd be out money. If she had been polite maybe I'd have been more inclined to let her return them, but at this point I don't particularly feel like dealing with her.

 

I've had good luck there too. 

 

I'm curious about your US forwarding address, who did you use?  When I've looked into it I've had a hard time figuring the cost and whether it would be worth it.

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