Does anyone have a child who wants such a specific "job" as an adult...

[AimeeM]

that it seems almost... unreasonable?

 

I know it's early still (dd is only 12), but she is pretty clear on what she wants from college - she wants to become a special needs teacher and OG tutor, and work in a school such as the one she is currently attending (a private school for gifted/bright dyslexic children). She already helps with the younger children and thoroughly enjoys it - she is hoping that she can intern/volunteer at the school during high school (she'll be home again for high school, as the school only goes through grade 8); this does appear to be something the headmaster allows.

Thing is, she ONLY wants to work in a school for dyslexic children. She said she has no desire to work special needs elsewhere, and that she has no desire whatsoever to teach elsewhere. Of course gentle mentions that there are very, very few schools like hers, are going in one ear and out the other (and I'm sure that has something to do with her age, but if I'm honest, it's just her personality to want what she wants, never mind the logistics).

 

I'm not concerned right now, but I'm curious as to how others (especially those with older children in high school or early college) deal with problems such as these. Specifically, how do you deal with it if your child wants to go into a field with VERY FEW job possibilities, and has no desire to use that specific degree in another related field.

 

As I said, not very concerned right now, but I've been curious about this for quite some time, not specifically about dd, but in general. Many of my favorite starbucks baristas are burdened with massive student loan debt, and have advanced degrees in fields that simply aren't very practical or in fields with very few openings or specific openings (anthropology, sociology, political science, etc).

[musicianmom]

If she enters a teacher education program, she will be required to do clinical hours in a variety of settings. That will probably open her mind to other possibilities.

 

Could be worse. Dd8 is determined to be a musical theater actress for a living.

[Dmmetler]

I think it's a great goal-and one that is very needed. Realistically, if she can't find a job in a school for children with dyslexia, she'll be able to find one in another setting-as a private tutor or working through an at-home service, in a PS or private school setting as a special ed teacher or tutor, through a clinic run by a charity like the ones run by Scottish Rite, etc. Special ed is a very easy job to get employed in. And 2e kids are an underserved population.

 

I'll also add-it's a sign that she has found a place that she truly feels happy and comfortable, to the point that she doesn't want to leave. I think it's a healthy place for her to be right now. She doesn't need to be practical.

 

And, FWIW, my DD wishes to breed venomous snakes. Talk about a niche career!

 

 

 

[lea_lpz]

I would not interfere. She's 12 and that sort if attitude is normal. When she is older she'll realize their are other options out there and be more realistic about career goals. Right now this seems safe. At that age it's scary to imagine a career other than what we've seen others do.

 

I would try some sort of career exploration course with her in HS when you go back to homeschooling, so she can research what requirements are involved for her bachelor and masters or teaching credential. I would definitely let her volunteer at the school. That couldn't hurt and would be great for her college application :), even if she doesn't even go into teaching in the end.

 

By the way college freshmen change their major on average 4 times. It's perfectly fine to not really know what you want to do and change your mind. That's why you do all the general Ed classes, to explore what's out there and be exposed to disciplinenes you haven't had in HS.

[Walking-Iris]

 When they are young I don't see the point in worrying about it too much. My 10 year old insists he's going to be an inventor and create all kinds of things that are physically impossible. He's also going to be a famous artist and make movies for Pixar.  :)

 

My 6 year old is going to be a paleontologist AND a zookeeper. It's nice to think about these things when you're a kid. When they are in high school and college is looming, they'll usually have a good idea by then of their life path, or at least an inkling of the start to figuring it out. 

 

And hey---the world needs Starbucks baristas. ;)

 

 

[AimeeM]

Well, like I said, I'm really not concerned about dd specifically right now - I'm more curious about how this is handled in general. At any point does mom or dad interfere in the decision of college majors? Especially if (though not exclusively) mom and dad are helping to foot the bill?

Using my dd as an example, if she has the same preferences later, as she does now, she absolutely does not want to tutor or work in another school (and wants to stay in the area - which does not provide services to dyslexic children). She very specifically only wants to work in a dyslexic school (lol - like I said, very specific). I'm pretty sure her plan will evolve later, but again I'm speaking generally.

 

The world does need starbucks baristas - but I can imagine the regret, when they are burdened by student loan debt that they are having difficulty paying back, and not even working in the field. I wonder if young adults (older than my daughter - say late high school age) WANT parent input before heading down a path that will lead to underemployment, or if they wouldn't listen regardless, lol.

[EmilyGF]

I sort of secretly roll my eyes when someone says they want to be an astrophysicist. That is hubby's job and it is pretty hard to get - it takes a long time to do the schooling, the post-docs, etc, all to get one of the few coveted positions. That said, people who worked really hard and "failed" as an astrophysicist can often get really good jobs paying a lot more than my husband earns!

 

Emily

[srs]

My husband and I both have music degrees, and then got more practical degrees after graduation (economics for me, computer science for him), because we did not want to be underemployed long term. I don't regret getting the degree I really wanted, and I am incredibly glad that I got the employable one too.

 

As far as parents and money, I got a large academic scholarship and a small music one, so my parents didn't spend much on me, and I graduated without debt. If my children were to be entering your barista situation, I would absolutely try to guide them to at least consider additional possibilities. My husband and I still play music professionally, but without the financial worry of having no other employable skills.

[Alte Veste Academy]

As someone who has been wondering when my future lifeguard/baseball player/scientist/architect/rainforest tree-house builder/Lego designer (not to mention multi-billionaire) would start to narrow down his scope a little, LOL, I come at this from the other side. I think there is virtually no chance that reality won't hit her before she gets to college. If not, no, I still would not deter her, other than to say that just as it is her future goal now, it may also need to be a future goal after college graduation. All in all though, I think it seems pretty attainable...eventually.

 

As of yesterday, oldest DS has decided to be a lifeguard in high school and college and an architect and/or mechanical engineer (the latter for LEGO only, LOL). His hobbies will be baseball and science/tinkering. :lol: Net change? Zero...

[Berta]

This is coming from the not fully developed brain of a 12 yr old. Let her keep the focus of what she wants to do and as she matures and enters college she will see that there is more to it then just what she WANTS. She might find that she is happier in a different area Special Ed teaching. Does that make sense?

 

My second son has autism. He knew from a very young age that he wanted to be an artist. Not just an artist, but an animator and his goal was to work for Pixar. Toy Story has been his obsession since he was three. He is now 21, and in college. He finished his Associates last year and is now working on his Bachelors. He already has plans for his Masters and his goal still is to work for Pixar. He is an awesome artist and animator, and HE knew it when he was three years old.

[LizzyBee]

More of those schools are popping up, demand is increasing, and certified teachers trained in OG are hard to find.  i would offer encouragement to a child who wants to pursue that as a career goal. :hurray:

[coffeegal]

 

The world does need starbucks baristas - but I can imagine the regret, when they are burdened by student loan debt that they are having difficulty paying back, and not even working in the field. I wonder if young adults (older than my daughter - say late high school age) WANT parent input before heading down a path that will lead to underemployment, or if they wouldn't listen regardless, lol.

I think young adults deserve parent input regardless of whether they listen or not. Just a bit of advice of, "It might take a while to achieve your goal. What are you going to do between college and the dream job?" might be all that's needed. IMHO, it's my job to warn the kids of potential hazards while being their cheering squad. It's their job to plan how to deal with the hazards.

[5LittleMonkeys]

 

The world does need starbucks baristas - but I can imagine the regret, when they are burdened by student loan debt that they are having difficulty paying back, and not even working in the field. I wonder if young adults (older than my daughter - say late high school age) WANT parent input before heading down a path that will lead to underemployment, or if they wouldn't listen regardless, lol.

 

I can only speak to my own experience.  Dd16 was absolutely positive 2 years ago that she was going to be a vet.  There was no talking her into anything else. I knew the hard road she was going to have to travel to get her there so I wanted to make sure she knew what she was getting into even if she didn't want to hear it.  She was convinced that she knew better, and even though I wasn't trying to talk her out of it, only trying to express to her the scope of what she was wanting to undertake, she resented me saying anything negative at all.  So, I committed to keeping my opinions to myself and decided to help her reach her goals by showing her the realities of them.  

 

I showed her the highschool path she would need to take based on the recommendations of the university she would likely attend.  I showed her the listing of courses she would have to take once highschool was over, and how long she would be in school, and the cost.  I then got her a job as an intern\volunteer at a local animal hospital whose owner graduated from and still had ties to the university. There were 4 vets that worked there, each specializing in a certain area, as well as 6 vet techs and several others who were college students working toward a vet degree that worked there part time. She was involved in every aspect of the hospital; cleaning, ordering and stocking supplies, counting out meds, pulling files, vaccinations, check ups, sick visits, house calls, broken limbs, surgeries, and euthanasia.  It was a dream job of any teenager wanting to pursue a vet degree.  

 

3 months later she was done. She said the realities of the day to day job were nothing like what she imagined they would be.  

 

She moved on to wanting to get a Horse Science degree in which she would specialize in physical therapy.  Okay.  Went through the process again of helping her reach those goals.  Once we got to the part where we researched how many graduates of that degree actually were doing that job, even 5 years after graduation, she started having second thoughts. I actually found a horse physical therapist online and emailed a few questions...the response was not what dd was looking for.  While the woman liked her job she said the path to get there was long, hard and frustrating.  She said she wouldn't do it again. 

 

Now she's looking into law enforcement\forensics.   :tongue_smilie:

 

Ultimately that long response could be condensed into saying that you just have to support your kids as best you can by doing the research, gathering the data, talking to people in that career field, setting up opportunities, and being their cheerleader.  In doing so the realities and facts will often help them make the best choices.  I think telling them that their choices are bad or wrong will just cause them to dig in and cut communication with you. 

 

In the case of a parent who has to fork over the money for a degree they don't agree with...set some rules up.  Insist on a certain GPA in order to continue funding them.  If they can't maintain that GPA they pay you back for your investment, they choose a different path, (or continue on if they are convinced that it is their path) and they fund it themselves. 

 

I know you said you aren't too concerned about it right now and I think that's wise.  12 is very young and she could have a dozen different ideas about her future in the next 4 to 5 years. :)

[Crimson Wife]

For a long time, DD wanted to be a fashion designer. I tried to balance being supportive of her dream and gently talking up other opportunities in the fashion industry to consider given the ultra-competitive nature of trying to be a designer. She ended up disliking a fashion sketching course that was offered through the local arts education program and that was the end of her interest in a fashion design career.

 

Recently she has expressed an interest in becoming a speech & language pathologist or perhaps a researcher on language acquisition. Those are not super-easy to get into, but I feel confident that she's got the aptitude to make herself a competitive applicant for grad school if she is willing to put in the work.

[Lori D.]

 I'm more curious about how this is handled in general. At any point does mom or dad interfere in the decision of college majors? Especially if (though not exclusively) mom and dad are helping to foot the bill?

 

You might hang out on the WTM college board for awhile and see how that particular parent/adult child situation is gingerly danced out in different ways in different families and situations. ;)

 

 

JMO: as long as the child was working towards a legit degree or post-high school certification, and putting in their best effort, even if it was a field that has few jobs available, or is one that didn't appear to be stable or had a lot of room for advancement, I'd still be willing to contribute what we'd saved for college if it was clearly our student's passion.

 

Just what we would do: our policy would be to not interfere with our student's choice of major -- afterall, the student is an adult by that time. We would certainly discuss and research with our student, esp. if it seemed to be just a whim or passing fancy and the job prospects were unrealistic and together research some alternatives or ways of broadening the viability of their post-high school educational choices... But it would be as a joint discussion, not a parent monologue ;). In the end, the choice (and resulting consequences) would remain with our adult student.

 

On the other hand, the choice of pulling the plug on us paying for college would come when the student was clearly not putting out real effort or moving forward towards the completion of a degree or certification. If there had been serious goofing off, there might also be the requirement of paying us BACK for that semester's tuition and books.

 

But we lay that out in advance to our students. Plus, they already know that, while we've saved for college for them since they were born, college costs have so skyrocketed in the past 6-8 years, that what we saved will only cover about 2 years at a modest school, and they are responsible for the rest. That's been a real boost in our DSs taking their college classes seriously, and finding less expensive "work-arounds" -- for our DSs that has meant community college and transfer credits to a 4-year school, working hard for scholarships, and earning money from part time jobs. All that, and our DSs will STILL probably have $5,000 - $15,000 in loans when they graduate with their Bachelor degrees... :( But, that's a whole 'nother can of worms, and I digress.

 

 

BEST of luck in encouraging your bright and focused DD! Warmest regards, Lori D.

[Lori D.]

:hurray:  WONDERFUL post, Aime/5LittleMonkeys! That should be bookmarked. :)

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

Special ed in general is supposed to grow at a bout the same rate as every other job, so it's possible DD will find a job, IF she's willing to start out in, say, North Dakota (no offense to our frozen comrades).  That's one thing that was striking about DW's school.  She knew she wanted to be a music teacher from about middle school on, and she has now been on for 26 years, but she started out in one state and eventually ended up in another.  Meanwhile, her college town is full of other former music ed majors who just didn't want to leave the idyllic setting in leafy eastern PA, producing a glut, so they end up working in insurance, etc.

 

Yes, at 12, I would expect your DD to change her mind, but I also believe in callings, because I married someone who followed hers.  Your best advice would be to BE MOBILE!  Sure, you can pursue this or that field, but be willing to spend your twenties in some far off town you'd never choose outright, because that experience is what will eventually get you to the place you'd rather be.

[5LittleMonkeys]

 

 

Yes, at 12, I would expect your DD to change her mind, but I also believe in callings, because I married someone who followed hers.  Your best advice would be to BE MOBILE!  Sure, you can pursue this or that field, but be willing to spend your twenties in some far off town you'd never choose outright, because that experience is what will eventually get you to the place you'd rather be.

 

This.  I live in a state university town and I can't tell you how many young adults are working retail and food industry jobs simply because they are unwilling to move to where the jobs are. When dd had a brief interest in anthropology I set up a luncheon with two of my neice's college friends who had both gotten anthropology degrees.  They were both working retail 2 years after graduation.  One had gotten a job offer in her field but turned it down due to it being across the country from her family.  She wasn't willing to make the move...much to her parents dismay as they were still waiting on her to contribute to the loan they took out to get her degree.   She and her parents would have saved themselves time and money had they done a simple search into what opportunities an anthropology major would have in this area, OR had had a frank discussion on her willingness to go where the job is.   

[AimeeM]

This.  I live in a state university town and I can't tell you how many young adults are working retail and food industry jobs simply because they are unwilling to move to where the jobs are. When dd had a brief interest in anthropology I set up a luncheon with two of my neice's college friends who had both gotten anthropology degrees.  They were both working retail 2 years after graduation.  One had gotten a job offer in her field but turned it down due to it being across the country from her family.  She wasn't willing to make the move...much to her parents dismay as they were still waiting on her to contribute to the loan they took out to get her degree.   She and her parents would have saved themselves time and money had they done a simple search into what opportunities an anthropology major would have in this area, OR had had a frank discussion on her willingness to go where the job is.   

 

And this would be my concern. DD is very... rooted to her home. She has absolutely no desire to live elsewhere. Now, should her headmaster still be in the teaching business when she reaches that stage herself, he does like hiring former students... but that's a long shot. Oh, and she specifically wants to teach gifted dyslexics MATH.

[5LittleMonkeys]

And this would be my concern. DD is very... rooted to her home. She has absolutely no desire to live elsewhere. Now, should her headmaster still be in the teaching business when she reaches that stage herself, he does like hiring former students... but that's a long shot. Oh, and she specifically wants to teach gifted dyslexics MATH.

 

Could you talk to the headmaster about doing a little career counseling with your dd?  Perhaps expressing how great her career choice is but gently explaining how one must go where the job is if they are passionate about that career being their calling.  Doing time "in the trenches" is something most successful careers have in common. 

[MomatHWTK]

A college degree opens up opportunities.  There is less that you can do if the person with the degree doesn't want to move or change focus to take advantage of those opportunities.  I plan to get my children the widest scope of education they are capable of and encourage them to be adventerous.  I foster this by talking about my own many careers, the careers of others, different lifestyles, places in the world, hobbies, etc.  I don't push, I just show them the world and what it has to offer.   I do this in addition to encouraging their chosen path of the moment. 

 

If your child is fixed in place (one of mine is) then you may have to accept that and make accomodations for it.  We may hope that our children will go out and do "great things" but that doesn't mean they will want the same. 

[AimeeM]

Could you talk to the headmaster about doing a little career counseling with your dd?  Perhaps expressing how great her career choice is but gently explaining how one must go where the job is if they are passionate about that career being their calling.  Doing time "in the trenches" is something most successful careers have in common. 

 

One of the wonderful things her headmaster does is stay involved with the children even during high school (when they leave his K-8 school) - this involves speaking to the head of whatever high school they are going to, helping to find the child's best placement/high school based on the child's aptitude, strengths, and interests. He stays involved with their actual school and with them (the children). I have no doubt that he'll speak with her about potential career choices.

[Farrar]

One of my 9 yos wants to be an actor.  Hm.  He'll need to learn to keep theater hours and not zonk out at 8 pm.  The other wants to be an engineer/ballet teacher.  He's sure these two jobs will go well together, actually.   :D

 

I guess I don't see it as an issue a parent would even broach in more than really general terms until they're in the thick of it.  I mean, sure, I'll talk to my kids now about different careers and I value when we get to meet people with different jobs.  But it's all very general.  Later, in high school, we'll start thinking about colleges and choosing somewhere that keeps at least a few options open, even if you don't want to exercise them.  In the case of Aimee's dd, following the steps to achieve that path will lead to the possibility of other jobs, if, indeed she doesn't change her mind before that.

 

You know what I'd love to see?  A study about how many people went into the job they wanted when they were kids.  Like, what percentage of aspiring 10 yo firefighters, writers, dancers, etc. actually went into the careers they envisioned for themselves?  I was thinking about my school friends...  a couple of them are pretty much what they wanted as teens - a guy I knew who was in a band and wanted to go into the music industry now owns a small studio, a woman I knew who wanted to be a pediatrician is, a guy I knew who wanted to be an artist is a graphic designer...  But more people aren't.  The woman who wanted to be a vet is a doctor, the guy who thought about psychology is an activist, another aspiring vet became a language professor, and so forth.  I wonder how that breaks down in terms of data instead of anecdote.  Or how things like race and class play into it.  Or learning disabilities and other potential hurdles.

 

ETA: And here you go.  According to a study a year or two ago from LinkedIn, worldwide, about 30% of adults are in the jobs they dreamed of having as kids.  Slightly less in the US.  Big gender differences in the kid dream jobs.  Well, no surprise there.

 

[Pen]

Well, like I said, I'm really not concerned about dd specifically right now - I'm more curious about how this is handled in general. At any point does mom or dad interfere in the decision of college majors? Especially if (though not exclusively) mom and dad are helping to foot the bill?

Using my dd as an example, if she has the same preferences later, as she does now, she absolutely does not want to tutor or work in another school (and wants to stay in the area - which does not provide services to dyslexic children). She very specifically only wants to work in a dyslexic school (lol - like I said, very specific). I'm pretty sure her plan will evolve later, but again I'm speaking generally.

 

The world does need starbucks baristas - but I can imagine the regret, when they are burdened by student loan debt that they are having difficulty paying back, and not even working in the field. I wonder if young adults (older than my daughter - say late high school age) WANT parent input before heading down a path that will lead to underemployment, or if they wouldn't listen regardless, lol.

 

What input do you want to give her? I think the exact way you word and say it would be very important, and maybe at least the words, if not the tone, could be practiced here. I think some input is important--even if not wanted--but the exact way it is given is important.

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

Now, should her headmaster still be in the teaching business when she reaches that stage herself, he does like hiring former students... but that's a long shot. 

 

DW has a few colleagues who were once her students.  No better way to feel...um....old.

 

 

A college degree opens up opportunities.  There is less that you can do if the person with the degree doesn't want to move or change focus to take advantage of those opportunities.

 

 

Not to mention the million dollars plus more a degreed adult can expect to make over a career.  (Yes, there are exceptions -- life is still a bell curve).

 

Edit -- My BA in English does not guarantee my ability to spell.

[Mommy22alyns]

If she enters a teacher education program, she will be required to do clinical hours in a variety of settings. That will probably open her mind to other possibilities.

 

Could be worse. Dd8 is determined to be a musical theater actress for a living.

 

 

Rebecca wants to go to the Olympics.   :huh:

 

Thankfully, Sylvia wants to be a hairdresser, so that's much more attainable.

[OneStepAtATime]

I think it is great that she has something she is so excited and focused on.  And I also agree that with time and having to go through the steps of achieving that goal, she WILL get exposure to other areas that may also interest her.  And I agree that specialized, well-trained teachers that have experience and understanding in this area are desperately needed.  She (and you) may find there are significantly more job opportunities in this area by the time she graduates than is readily apparent today.  And finally, may I say how excited I am for your child that she has been in such a positive environment for learning.  Sadly, there are not a lot of schools like what you describe, but more ARE starting to be built and your child could find herself a critical, integral part of this movement.  I would love for a school like that to be available anywhere near our area.

 

Best wishes to you and your family.

[JennW in SoCal]

This is coming from the not fully developed brain of a 12 yr old. Let her keep the focus of what she wants to do and as she matures and enters college she will see that there is more to it then just what she WANTS. She might find that she is happier in a different area Special Ed teaching. Does that make sense?

 

My second son has autism. He knew from a very young age that he wanted to be an artist. Not just an artist, but an animator and his goal was to work for Pixar. Toy Story has been his obsession since he was three. He is now 21, and in college. He finished his Associates last year and is now working on his Bachelors. He already has plans for his Masters and his goal still is to work for Pixar. He is an awesome artist and animator, and HE knew it when he was three years old.

 

Berta's story kinda got swallowed up by the thread, but I want to give a special "shout out" to her son.  What a very cool story!!  And it will likely work for him.  My dh wanted to do comics from the time he was 12, got his BFA in drawing and painting and has earned a living at it all his adult life.  My ds wanted to be a lighting designer for Disney since he was 11 or 12.  He graduated from college in June and in October was hired as a stage technician at Disneyland.  He is a happy, happy young man and we are very proud parents.

 

I'm so happy for you Berta, and am confident your son will also land his dream job!

 

And to the OP -- people with specific, passionate dreams are few and far between.  It is hard to know whether that 12yo will hold onto that dream or will try on several different "hats" before deciding what fits.  We always made a point of finding opportunities for my kids to meet and talk with professionals in a variety of fields, and simply expected them to be focused students in college.  One ds had a specific dream, the other just had a broad, generalized interest in science and he settled on a major by the end of his freshman year.  

 

As for me?  I didn't settle on what I wanted to do until I was in my 50s!!

[WinsomeCreek]

Her goal is a good one (I'm a little biased as one of mine is TAG/dyslexic). It seems like she will gain useful experience and exposure to other options in the process of pursuing her goal. You can help her map out the steps in a way that gives her broader fall backs. I have one that has a long shot career in mind. I support his pursuit, though it is more of an invitation field.

I have a friend who wanted to work with deaf kids. She ended up very happy with a career at a special school for the deaf. So it does happen. And thank goodness for wonderful people like my friend and your daughter who have the desire and dedication to serve in such a way.

[Gwenny]

I wouldn't worry about it yet. 

 

My daughter aspires to drop out as soon as legally possible and become a "crazy cat lady."  Sadly, I can totally picture her in a filthy house full of cats and hoarded junk.

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

DD went to a Girl Scout event for which the keynote speaker was the head of NASA's astrobiology program - but she started as a music major, and got her science PhD some 20 years later as part of a complete career change. Kids need more exposure to those kinds of stories.

[DragonFaerie]

I'll give you a couple of perspectives.  My brother knew from the age of 5 that he wanted to work in movies.  At 19, he moved out to Los Angeles where he did indeed get work in the movie industry, and he's still there.  Now, he's not writing and directing movies like he thought, but he's working just the same.  And he's never wavered about working in the industry.

 

My daughter, also 12, says she wants to be a wildlife rehabilitator.  The only problem with that is that a lot of them (most, actually) are volunteers.  And DD has little to no interest in being a vet of any sort.  She plans to major in wildlife biology with a double major in music and a minor in dance.  Try finding a college that offers all three degree programs. LOL...

[Julie Smith]

I know you been reasonable job wants from an older child. But this might give you a laugh

 

When eldest was younger he wanted to grow up to be a butt sniffer. I did read him articles and excepts of books about people who sniffed things for a living. But he was adamant that he would only sniff butts.

 

...

 

He out grew it.... At least I hope so since he hasn't talked about it for a couple years.

[FO4UR]

Encourage her.  Encourage her to think about what makes her school so awesome that she wants to continue to be a part of it when she grows up.

 

 

 

I think her dream job is great.  Honestly, the worst thing that could come from pursuing it is ending up with a degree in special education and OG certification...and teaching special ed in a different school.  Maybe by then she will be mature enough to bring the *awesome* to whatever school hires her.  So focus on what makes *awesome* b/c that is the life-changer, whatever field she decides to pursue.

 

 

 

I wanted to get a music performance degree years ago.  I was discouraged b/c of the lack of jobs in the Real World.  I got a Music Ed degree instead.  Ironically, in *my* Real World, I would have many more $-making opportunities (as a voice teacher who homeschools her own children LOL) if I would have pursued performance and gotten just *ONE* semi-mediocre job before having babies.  For me to teach music per my degree, I would be working 60+hr weeks, never seeing my own children in order to work with other people's children.  So, my first instinct would have served me in my life better, even though it does not make as much sense for most people.  

 

 

I'm trying to teach my kids to do what they need to do and not be deterred, distracted, or discouraged by what other people think.  I am listening to what they like to do and what they might want to do and thinking down the road at making sure they will have options open.  

[SweetMissMagnolia]

ds 11 wants to be a computer/video game programmer-has lots of ideas for his own video games

[Ravin]

Y'all make me glad DD wants to be a cosmetologist.

[Hunter]

I didn't read all the replies; I'm sorry.

 

Working towards the goal your daughter has opens up a whole world of other opportunities, that are very similar. Being doggedly tied to a goal, is what often gets a student to the place where they eventually learn about another opportunity that they like even better.

 

My oldest son pursued his career goals that were set at age 12. They worked better than I ever thought they would. It's a good thing I got too sick to stop him, because I would of if I could have. Despite his early and considerable success at doing what he wanted to do, he started branching out at about age 26 by his own choice into other more traditional areas. Two years of marriage and a mortgage will do that to a man, I guess.

 

When my youngest was an early teen he got a video from the library on spoon playing. The author didn't talk about his childhood, but I was so curious. He went on to play spoons for the pope, but I'll bet his mom at least once took his spoons away and yelled at him to do his math homework. That video made me take a chill pill.

 

Here is a book by another spoon player about his childhood.

http://www.amazon.com/Spoon-Boy-Jim-Cruise/dp/0966775716

 

"I'm married with five kids and a mortgage and I make my living playing spoons." He grins. "Believe me, anything is possible."

http://www.mlive.com/living/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2009/01/clackhappy_jim_krzewski_alias.html

"My dad said, 'What are you gonna do for a living, play the spoons?' After a four-year-degree?" He was not happy. "I wasn't nuts about the spoon playing," admits his dad, Jim Krzewski. "It used to drive me crazy around the house. I'd tell him, 'Go out to the shed if you want to play those stupid things.' One day, I get home from work and he's monkeying around setting spoons on fire. I said, 'You're gonna burn the house down!'"

[Lori D.]

Not to mention the million dollars plus more a degreed adult can expect to make over a career. 

 

 

Sadly, it really depends on WHAT field you go into with that Bachelor's degree as to whether it gives you that million dollar plus advantage. The article you linked goes on to say:

 

 

"Those with lower than average lifetime earnings were those individuals working in the following occupations, regardless of the major/field of study of their bachelor degree: natural resources, construction and maintenance; production, transportation/material moving; education; community service and legal; office support; and service.

 

Not all individuals in a particular field of study earn the same amount. For example, a liberal arts graduate who goes into a career of computers/math, management, or business earns between $2.6 and $3 million dollars -- well above the average lifetime earnings of a bachelor's degree recipient. However, if a liberal arts graduate goes into a career of education, office support, service, or production, transportation/material moving, they can expect to earn between $1.4 and $1.8 million dollars. Not surprisingly, those whose highest degree is a bachelor's in education make the least no matter what occupation is chosen. In fact, "education majors working in service jobs earn less than people whose highest attainment is a high school diploma"."

 

 

That last sentence I bolded is such a discouraging statement. :( It breaks my heart to see how little our society values or supports those whose passion it is to serve others, to be encouragers and helpers, to educate, or to bring art/music and the graces that nourish and uplift our souls into our lives. 

 

Also, it's important to note that the article is about the statistics of those who have completed their careers, largely before the big economic downturn. These past statistics are only going to be somewhat relevant to students entering college and the job force today, what with the major change in the current economy, hiring practices, salaries, and availability of jobs -- plus the recent sudden spike in college costs and the huge debt carried by many graduates and inability to find a decent paying job... Many graduates in their 20s are finding that their Bachelor degrees are NOT opening the door to ANY job, much less a higher-paying job. And the crushing weight of student debt is forcing many to have to reconsider their major life decisions -- having to put off marriage, not being able to afford to have children, financial inability to own a home... I'm guessing that whole segment of the population is going to pull down that million-dollar-plus average of having a Bachelors degree for the next round of statistics...

 

I agree that a degree in a STEM field or medical field is much more likely to pay off. And that's wonderful for students who want to be engineers, doctors or medical specialists. But what are students who are gifted and passionate about other areas supposed to do? -- education, the fine arts, service, social sciences (history, sociology, anthropology, psychology, philosophy, etc.).

 

Not picking on you, ThatHomeschoolDad, or even expecting a reply or a solution from you. Just venting my general frustration at the very different world of college and career that our DSs are currently in the midst of entering...

[Χά�ων]

DS is 10 and has gone through a few different career obsessions. I go out of my way to find age appropriate opportunities in the field he is interested in. When he wanted to be an archaeologist I took him to our state university to do a series of classes that explored the field more indepth. When he wanted to hunt fossils I found a museum that did just that. The other parents and I had a grand time digging up rocks while the young "fossil hunters" ran around and played with sticks. Now he wants to be design animal habitats in zoos so we visit zoos, nature centers and he takes conservation classes and is doing biology and zoology this year and will start an architecture course in a couple of week.

 

For a 12 year old I would talk with the school about seeing if she could spend 30-45 minutes a couple times a week working with the younger kids. I did then when I was in 5th grade I decided I had no further interest after about 4 times. 

[AimeeM]

DS is 10 and has gone through a few different career obsessions. I go out of my way to find age appropriate opportunities in the field he is interested in. When he wanted to be an archaeologist I took him to our state university to do a series of classes that explored the field more indepth. When he wanted to hunt fossils I found a museum that did just that. The other parents and I had a grand time digging up rocks while the young "fossil hunters" ran around and played with sticks. Now he wants to be design animal habitats in zoos so we visit zoos, nature centers and he takes conservation classes and is doing biology and zoology this year and will start an architecture course in a couple of week.

 

For a 12 year old I would talk with the school about seeing if she could spend 30-45 minutes a couple times a week working with the younger kids. I did then when I was in 5th grade I decided I had no further interest after about 4 times. 

 

Actually, that is why she wants to do this. She's in a unique position at the school of needing less OG than many of the children; she reads very well, and only needs OG help/tutoring with writing; she does an extra math class (math is her *thing*) and helps with the younger children - quite often.

 

[LMV]

that it seems almost... unreasonable?

 

I know it's early still (dd is only 12), but she is pretty clear on what she wants from college - she wants to become a special needs teacher and OG tutor, and work in a school such as the one she is currently attending (a private school for gifted/bright dyslexic children). She already helps with the younger children and thoroughly enjoys it - she is hoping that she can intern/volunteer at the school during high school (she'll be home again for high school, as the school only goes through grade 8); this does appear to be something the headmaster allows.

Thing is, she ONLY wants to work in a school for dyslexic children. She said she has no desire to work special needs elsewhere, and that she has no desire whatsoever to teach elsewhere. Of course gentle mentions that there are very, very few schools like hers, are going in one ear and out the other (and I'm sure that has something to do with her age, but if I'm honest, it's just her personality to want what she wants, never mind the logistics).

 

I'm not concerned right now, but I'm curious as to how others (especially those with older children in high school or early college) deal with problems such as these. Specifically, how do you deal with it if your child wants to go into a field with VERY FEW job possibilities, and has no desire to use that specific degree in another related field.

 

As I said, not very concerned right now, but I've been curious about this for quite some time, not specifically about dd, but in general. Many of my favorite starbucks baristas are burdened with massive student loan debt, and have advanced degrees in fields that simply aren't very practical or in fields with very few openings or specific openings (anthropology, sociology, political science, etc).

 

Well, she is twelve, and I think that at twelve she is planning in a very open ended way (even if she states everything out in specific concrete statements).  If she was my child I would support her working towards a degree in special education.  I would believe in her ability to chart her path and navigate to get to where she wants to be.  If she was discouraged,  I might gently remind her that it may take some time for her to reach her end goal and that she will likely benefit some from every experience she has even if she doesn't particularly enjoy the experience.  I would also be supportive of her adapting and changing her goals with further education and experience.  Ultimately I would be her biggest fan but also be ready and willing to step back and let her figure out how she got from point A to B and what to do if she ran into roadblocks along the way. 

 

When my husband's son was twelve he really had no idea what he wanted to do but was very determined that he wanted to grow up and be someone who made the world a better place even if he did that in a very simple way which was  completely not noteworthy on a large scale.  I think that thread has woven through his life and I think that really is what ties together his somewhat seemingly disjointed career/educational journey.  He is currently a 4th year medical student, is now married with a wife he loves, and a son who is completely his even if he is biologically his nephew via a marriage.  He went into the military immediately out of high school and completed basic training before he celebrated his eighteenth birthday.  He had no interest in a military career but felt it was something that he needed to do at the time.  He returned home after his deployment and end of service and worked his way through college while being the solid sibling for our oldest daughter and his foster brother both of whom really needed him at that time.  He initially considered doctoral programs in Psychology, then law school, and eventually decided on medical school.  Because of his wife's ties to our area (and at that time his understanding that she really couldn't just pack up and move wherever he might get in or think he might get the best education) he applied only to our one semi local medical school with a plan to broaden the net only if he needed to re-apply in subsequent years.  He ended up being accepted and has adapted and made it all work out for him.  Now if he had asked me to advise him I don't think I would have guided him along this path.  I had some real concerns and reservations about his military experience (and, honestly, if he had been my biological son and I had a say I wouldn't have given permission for him to enlist as a minor) but I prayed that it would all work out and somehow he has made it all work.  

 

Our oldest daughter at least at this moment is on a bit more of a linear path.  She has known she wanted to do something with molecular biology since she was about twelve or thirteen.  Over the years exactly what that is has ebbed and flown.  Right now she is leaning more towards the medical applications of that and back to considering medical school.  She just completed her first semester of "real university" so I'm trying to step back and let her plot her own path as well.