Hurt to the core

[JennifersLost]

Ds just came home from spending two days with my sister at her beautiful house in Connecticut. We're staying with my parents in NY for the summer and she had him for a couple of days so he could hang out with her oldest son.

 

All summer she's been on and on about college. About going to the "Best" schools, about how kids dress in Connecticut (she bought my son khakis and a blue cotton shirt and tie, so he'd have the "uniform" should any formal occasions come up), and on and on.

 

We live very different lives and focuses and that's okay. But this year she has been crossing boundaries.

 

So, he comes home and says, "Aunt _____ and I have been talking. Next year I want to come and visit her for the summer and stay for my senior year. She can get me into the same high school her son goes to, and then I can graduate with a diploma (I guess to heck with homeschooling). She said that if our situations were reversed she would send her son to us to live."

 

And he's serious. I tried to be very low-key, because....it's not going to happen and I don't want to make him upset. But he got upset anyway. While he visits her she makes everything incredibly fun and now I feel like chopped liver.

 

I'm really hurt. Not because he wants to go - of course he does; it looks so fun compared to our lives. But because she'd make him value her life more than ours - that she'd make our lifestyle look like second best. She's undermined me more by doing that than just about anything else she could have done.

 

I have two more days here. I already let her know it's not going to happen. Now I have to go and sit around a campfire with her. I'm angry with her and I'm angry with myself for all the times I've complained about my life, about my dh not providing enough, about everything. I feel like a total heel - the only reason my kids don't think our lives are terrific is because I haven't celebrated our life enough.

 

That's going to change. Any advice?

[elegantlion]

:grouphug: Whenever my sister did something I didn't like, I would kick her in the shins. I'm sorry, you've had a rough summer. It doesn't seem fair all the torment you've had to put up with.

 

The fact she crossed that boundary without even talking to you shows a deep lack of respect on her part. I'm afraid I'd have to bring that up to her.

 

She may have what she considers a "better" lifestyle, but you have shown great restraint and character with some of what you've put up. That goes a lot further than money. :grouphug:

[Plucky]

I'd be concerned she's promising things she knows nothing about. Here you cannot just show up senior year and get a diploma. Yeah, I'd be ticked off. If my son was serious and it did look like a good opportunity I'd let him though. You may or may not feel differently when you've cooled off. I'm sorry.

[Mrs Mungo]

The fact she crossed that boundary without even talking to you shows a deep lack of respect on her part. I'm afraid I'd have to bring that up to her.

 

I agree. I also agree with True Blue. She doesn't know what's required to get a diploma. She definitely should never have discussed it with your son without talking to *you* first. That was out and out manipulative and I would call her on it. eta: but I'm not a nice person, I'm confrontational, so take that with however many grains of salt you need to. ;)

[clwcain]

Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!

 

There wouldn't be much left of one of my relations if they tried anything so foul, treacherous, and underhanded.

 

Let her have it, and don't apologize.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

 

All summer she's been on and on about college. About going to the "Best" schools, about how kids dress in Connecticut (she bought my son khakis and a blue cotton shirt and tie, so he'd have the "uniform" should any formal occasions come up), and on and on.

 

-----

I have two more days here. I already let her know it's not going to happen. Now I have to go and sit around a campfire with her. I'm angry with her and I'm angry with myself for all the times I've complained about my life, about my dh not providing enough, about everything. I feel like a total heel - the only reason my kids don't think our lives are terrific is because I haven't celebrated our life enough.

 

That's going to change. Any advice?

 

Good grief. Best schools? Yeah, maybe. Maybe not.

 

Stand your ground. Celebrate. Talk to your ds. Tell him that you were DELIBERATE in your steering of his education away from the "best" prep schools and the craziness that is the cheating and clawing and striving that is done there.

 

Buy Loren Pope's book Looking Beyond the Ivy League and Colleges That Change Lives. Read these, discuss them with your son. Find out what his goals are. Find out which colleges will help him toward those goals.

 

Do you think those colleges want yet another cookie cutter preppy kid in cookie cutter preppy clothes from the Preppiest of Preps? No. They want independent thinkers and uniqueness and FIRE.

 

And baby, if you don't think you've given your children the opportunity for passion and fire and independent thought, you are SORELY mistaken or I'm completely snowed by your online persona. Be encouraged. You are far and away more than simply "Good Enough," which is all she is offering him. You are Best. No matter where he goes, no matter what he does, he had YOU. And that, m'dear, is quite the gift.

 

:grouphug:

[Mrs Mungo]

Good grief. Best schools? Yeah, maybe. Maybe not.

 

Stand your ground. Celebrate. Talk to your ds. Tell him that you were DELIBERATE in your steering of his education away from the "best" prep schools and the craziness that is the cheating and clawing and striving that is done there.

 

Buy Loren Pope's book Looking Beyond the Ivy League and Colleges That Change Lives. Read these, discuss them with your son. Find out what his goals are. Find out which colleges will help him toward those goals.

 

Do you think those colleges want yet another cookie cutter preppy kid in cookie cutter preppy clothes from the Preppiest of Preps? No. They want independent thinkers and uniqueness and FIRE.

 

And baby, if you don't think you've given your children the opportunity for passion and fire and independent thought, you are SORELY mistaken or I'm completely snowed by your online persona. Be encouraged. You are far and away more than simply "Good Enough," which is all she is offering him. You are Best. No matter where he goes, no matter what he does, he had YOU. And that, m'dear, is quite the gift.

 

:grouphug:

 

Can we all apply this to ourselves, print it out and frame it for future reference?

[cin]

First off, you could just dump the books you've used for the past several years on her desk and let her create a transcript, schedule all the tests and evals that would be needed, and then scream foul when the exclusive private school rejects a homeschool transcript.

 

Realistically, I would have some discussions with my son about values, materialism and money buying happiness. A nice house and good school vs. a loving mom. Point out to him WHY you chose to homeschool, WHY you feel that choice was so important for him and your family. And tell him why you are upset with what dear Auntie did. Talk about the words undermine and subterfuge and how it is WRONG to do these things. Ask him if he would like someone to do that to him? Also maybe even talk about auntie using him to hurt you? I'm not sure of the relationship, so I'm not sure if her intentions are pure or if there is a history of hard feelings.

 

THEN, if he still thinks this is something he would be interested in, dump the pile of books on her doorstep and tell her to have at it! :D

[Harriet Vane]

May I just say how totally, completely, unbelievably INAPPROPRIATE it is for anyone to make an offer like that to your child without talking to you first?!?!

 

She talked to your son about living with her for an entire year without running the idea by you?!?!?!

 

And yes, you are also right to feel hurt at the implications she has cast upon your life. She may have made the offer feeling she was offering a wonderful gift.

 

To me the fact that she would go behind your back on such a large, life-altering offer to your son is major, and she needs to be called on it.

 

:grouphug:

[*anj*]

You've gotten so many excellent responses that I can only add this: :iagree:

 

She was wrong. You are right. Now come here and get a hug. :grouphug::001_smile:

[DB in NJ]

You've gotten so many excellent responses that I can only add this: :iagree:

 

She was wrong. You are right. Now come here and get a hug. :grouphug::001_smile:

 

You took the words right out of my mouth.

 

:grouphug:

[HRAAB]

I agree with the other responses. Totally out of line. Just wanted to let you know I have a sister like that. She constantly tried to undermine my authority. Results: my children are never alone with her and we rarely see each other.

 

Janet

[ticklbee]

I would just like to add this. Your sister was wrong to talk to your son about this and it's your sister who should be the one to go to your son and apologize for talking to him about this without checking with you first. You shouldn't have to be the bad guy in this.

 

And I Love, Love, Love this quote by Pam:

 

And baby, if you don't think you've given your children the opportunity for passion and fire and independent thought, you are SORELY mistaken or I'm completely snowed by your online persona. Be encouraged. You are far and away more than simply "Good Enough," which is all she is offering him. You are Best. No matter where he goes, no matter what he does, he had YOU. And that, m'dear, is quite the gift.:grouphug:

 

You have a way with words, girl!

[Maria from IN]

I would have to wonder what your sister would think if you just talked her son into staying with you for his senior year so he could get one on one attention and a personalized education...you know, so he wouldn't turn out like all the other kids that shoot out of that New England prep mold.

 

After all, if the roles were reversed...:glare:

 

The bottom line that your son and your sister need to hear is that you are the parent of this child here. No one else. End of discussion. No amount of money that your sister could throw around is going to change his education.

 

So sorry you're going through this.

[Danestress]

That kids are supposed to want to leave home. You don't want him to be a kid who doesn't want to grow up and leave. I had great parents, and I spent my entire senior year fantacizing about other families I could live with.

 

I don't think your son considering this plan necessarily is a reflection on you not "playing up" the good aspects of your family life. It might be a great reflection on you as a parent - that your son is ready to leave, has the confidence, and has the wisdom to choose someone who isn't criminally insane.

 

I would stress to him how much you are looking forward to his senior year and that he has the rest of his life to live where and with whom he pleases.

 

And I would just kill my sister.

[Mom to Aly]

First off, you could just dump the books you've used for the past several years on her desk and let her create a transcript, schedule all the tests and evals that would be needed, and then scream foul when the exclusive private school rejects a homeschool transcript.

 

Realistically, I would have some discussions with my son about values, materialism and money buying happiness. A nice house and good school vs. a loving mom. Point out to him WHY you chose to homeschool, WHY you feel that choice was so important for him and your family. And tell him why you are upset with what dear Auntie did. Talk about the words undermine and subterfuge and how it is WRONG to do these things. Ask him if he would like someone to do that to him? Also maybe even talk about auntie using him to hurt you? I'm not sure of the relationship, so I'm not sure if her intentions are pure or if there is a history of hard feelings.

 

THEN, if he still thinks this is something he would be interested in, dump the pile of books on her doorstep and tell her to have at it! :D

 

 

I didn't know which of these to quote, they were all so great (and I don't know how to quote more than one), but this one came closest to what I think.

 

Your ds needs to see the light--does he think homeschooling is a walk in the park for the mom? He needs to understand, while we love that we get to be with our kids, and raise them, instead of trusting them to someone else, there are major sacrifices--that second income, and what that can mean to the fam--any free time we might ever hope to have--any energy we might ever hope to have--any sanity we might ever hope to have. Well, here, at least.

 

Another thing; I went to high school in Westchester County, NY. If you are near there, you know where I mean. We were a regent's state, when only we and CA were. So CT schools were a joke--compared to the level we had to reach, they didn't come close, and, from what I understand, still don't. To say they have the "best" schools--I don't think so. When I graduated, I had full academic scholarships to all 4 Ivy Leagues I applied to, and I graduated 4th in a class of 124--4 after me had the same scholarships--I wonder if the top 8 in the graduating class can get the same in that school? I doubt it.

 

Besides, does she know the statistics for Ivy Leagues and homeschoolers now? Does she know the reports from Ivy Leagues of homeschoolers, how much more realistic they find them, how much better prepared for the world, how much more mature?

 

Forgetting all of that, has she any common decency? I cannot believe she would speak to your son before you! You should ask her if she would like it if you offered her son to come and homeschool with you--freer schedule, no homework, etc--before speaking to her!

 

What does your husband say about all of this? I would get him involved--it will be a lot harder for her to be nasty and ignore you with him along, I would think!

 

Anyway, what it comes down to is she had no right to dare to offer this to your son, she is ridiculous in saying such things about the school, and he needs to be shown so, and he cannot just abandon everything you have worked and sacrificed so much for, and is so great for him!

 

If nothing else works, here is a wonderful plan--I have recommended it to so many friends, and it just worked, again, for a friend with a 14 yo girl--her dd wanted to go to school this fall. She got her up for a full week, to get ready when she normally would have to for school. Dd had to get ready for school, go out to wait for her mom, then get in the car when the bus would normally be there. Her mom drove her around until they would normally have gotten to school, then she went in and had "normal" classes--if she finished early, she had to wait until the class was done. If she couldn't keep up, too bad. She had to walk around the outside of the house (sometimes run) as if she was changing classes. She had 45 min for lunch, which was greatly overcooked pasta, and brown broccoli. After school, she had to ride around again, until time to be home. Then she went in and had to do all the homework assigned. She was not allowed to do her extra curricular activities, or join her sibs in the movie they went to, the outside play, or the inside games (she could hear them playing, though). She did have her normal chores. They started on a Thursday and ended on a Wed so that she did have a weekend to do a book report, history paper and science project.

 

She was begging to stop over the weekend, when she had already changed her mind, but her mom made her stick to it. She swears she will never change her mind again. This has worked for all of my friends, except one, whose daughter went back, partly because she wanted to, and, I found out later, the mom wanted her to, too. But just hearing about it makes my daughter cringe. I think it could really open your son's eyes--and if this is such a "great" school, I'm sure they will have HOURS of homework, as we always did!

 

In the meantime, don't beat yourself up over anything--I love my dd more than anything, and have given up a ton to homeschool her, but man, do I love to whine! Couldn't survive without it! But she knows how happy I am we are doing this, as I'm sure your kids do--blame the person responsible for this--your sister! And kick some butt!!!

[Jen500]

We live very different lives and focuses and that's okay. But this year she has been crossing boundaries.

 

 

Well, instead of "Hurt to the core" I think you should be "Mad to the core". If she really thought this was a good idea, she should have brought it up with you first.

[Remudamom]

What to add? Everyone is right and your sister is wrong. If she were my sister she'd be on the endangered list.

 

FWIW, I grew up country club, and my family still lives that way. All my nieces/nephews go to the snotty private school we all attended. They wear the correct uniform and know which fork to use. For the most part they are spoiled and unhappy. When we visit, my kids are silently appalled at their behavior. Don't doubt yourself, you are giving your son something that's worth is beyond measure. If he doesn't realize it right now, he will later.

[reservejagmom]

:iagree: as well! Of All the Nerve!

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this ... you're right ... how are you ever going to sit around a campfire with her?!

:grouphug:

 

Everyone else has already spoken so eloquently ... just wanted to let you know I'm here rooting for you too!

 

Carol

[laughing lioness]

You just described my mil. You'd think that after 18 years of homeschooling she would back-off. Our older kids see the differences, wish we had "more" and despite that are so grateful for how we have raised them. I'm sure that your son is, too! Our dd's are begun to say to thier g'ma: we're homeschooled and proud of it. We love our parents, respect them and appreciate their choices, etc. even though she obviously attempts to bribe them.

I'm sure that when your ds gets home and gets perspective you can talk about it with more clarity.

Be good to yourself for the rest of your visit.:grouphug: You rock.

[Doran]

You are standing on more of a solid footing than you realize. One of these days (I hope soon) you are going to find the nerve to display to your family the same chutzpah you are able to show in your stories and online. I don't blame you for being hurt. I just want your sister to know that she crossed a line and that she will have to reckon with you because of it. :glare: And, I want you to remember that your life won't fall out from under you if you wear your Backbone Suit and tell people what you really think.

 

I'm so sorry. I agree with Danestress that your son's reaction is a reflection of the level of safety he feels - because you've given that to him. Your sister is obviously still trying to one up you in tired old power play that should have ended when you were kids...which tells you something about where she stands emotionally.

 

Hugs to you!

[CalicoKat]

I haven't read all the above posts, but I have to agree with what I've read. You're absolutely right to be furious with her for making decisions with your son about his future that exclude you.

 

Perhaps allowing your son summer's with his Aunt's family he feels that you've Ok'd the influence, relationship, and authority of your sister in his life. I think it's time to sit him down and find out what other ideas and thoughts she's been planting while you've been absent.

 

It would also be a good time to remind him why you've decided that homeschooling is the best option for him. Not to justify your decisions to him, but to let him know that you're decisions were thoughtful and the reasons behind the decision are still valid.

 

I wouldn't focus so much on letting your sister know what she's done wrong as I would on tying the strings of your son's heart closer to you. He's growing up and you can't always tell him what to do. But you can influence him too. Don't bash your sister in front of him, you'll loose his respect. Do dig deeper into why HE's saying these things--or is he just parroting Auntie ____? Has he thought this out for himself or is he letting Auntie's plans just unfold?

 

Of course, my oldest is only 9. But this is how my folks handled me. They got me to see that I needed to think things through for myself and not just follow other's good ideas.

[Peela]

Definitely time to find, or exercise, your true voice, Jennifer! Let it out, let yourself roar!

Your sister is way out of line, and if it were me I would be mad enough to do some real confronting.

Of course, she is coming from "good intentions"- on the surface. Underneath, don't be fooled, that's not clean at all.

 

And, if amongst it all you see that maybe you haven't been much fun, and you wish you could be a bit lighter with your kids or whatever....thats ok too, it doesn't make your sister right in what she has done, it just means there is a grain of truth, and you can own that, and still she was way out of line.

 

Not that life is all fun, and I am not quite sure what is fun about final year of school anywhere, so I wouldn't make "fun" your ideal! But maybe you see some way you could change in a healthy way for everyone- or maybe you just need to accept yourself for being real and down to earth and healthy in that, rather than superficially "together" and "fun". ugh, I hate people like that anyway. Give me real and honest and straight any day.

 

I am mad for you!

It reminds me why I am actually glad we are distant- physically and/or emotionally- from all relatives on both sides. We like to parent our way, with no interference.

[Amy in Orlando]

I have nothing to add, Jennifer. The responses here are great. (((())))

[Laura in VA]

I have a great idea for where you could put one of those twigs. ;)

[kalanamak]

 

So, he comes home and says, "Aunt _____ and I have been talking. Next year I want to come and visit her for the summer and stay for my senior year. She can get me into the same high school her son goes to, and then I can graduate with a diploma (I guess to heck with homeschooling). She said that if our situations were reversed she would send her son to us to live."

 

 

 

Before I told my sister she needed to clear such truly big things with me first, I'd ask her about these "conversations". Do you have only his word on it? I've heard teens go on and on about the parent who was going to buy them a car, when said parent never dreamed of it, e.g.

 

Just a thought.

[JennifersLost]

Kalanamak, you might be more right than I care to admit.

 

First let me say thanks to all of you for this show of support. It means so much to me to have people know just how that felt.

 

When I confronted my sister with this (in a fairly light way, mind you - I yelled at her out my window to stop trying to make off with my kids), she came back and said she'd just been being nice and going along with things my ds was talking about. Her words exactly, "Oh, he's full of baloney," with a nervous laugh I know all too well.

 

She probably wasn't serious at all - just kind of thoughtless. And now my ds thinks that all he has to do is show up there and she'll take him in. Jeeesh.

 

This is just a summer when no one seems to be able to get it right. During the two days that she had him she and I were shooting emails back and forth getting pretty "real" about how we're bugging each other. I did let her know in no uncertain terms that I don't like the way she and other people have been treating me this summer. We hashed it out and I thought we'd gotten to a pretty good place about it. Then this!

 

It's just not helpful.

 

But you all are right - I have raised ds well and he will be ready to move out. I'm so excited for him that he has his life ahead of him. But I feel the same way I did back in kindergarten when I said to heck with it - I didn't do the hard stuff (the diapers, the sleepless nights, etc.) just so someone else could have the fun of teaching my kid. And I didn't do all those years of drilling the basics just so someone could make off with my kid when he gets to the interesting part - those last years of high school.

 

Those are MY last years. She doesn't get them. Maybe if she was taking him on an archeological dig to Egypt, or something like that. But not to make him another cookie-cutter student, as someone so eloquently said.

 

Hopefully she gets that now.

 

Two days. I leave in two days, LOL. What is with this summer????

[teamturner]

I've read about some of your summer on the board and I understand it has been rough. I would just let it drop w/o very much discussion. Perhaps you could just casually say, "ds has this idea that he could live with you for his senior year and go to ____ school. Where did he ever get such a notion?" Then see what she has to say. If it is indeed true, w/o much emotion just say that such plans need to be discussed with you and dh first before they are mentioned to your dc. You can just plainly say that a child belongs with his family in your opinion and whatever else you want to add on that note. I think the bigger deal you make of it with your sister and ds the bigger wedge it will make in your relationship with your ds (which is the relationship that is most important here). I can't imagine once he gets back home and reconnects with his friends that this idea will last very long. And since this summer has not been so great, perhaps you guys should take next summer off (as in don't visit the family). That would also put an end to whatever hopes ds and your sister have of this little plan ever taking place or even being discussed again. You know sometimes, distance makes the heart grow fonder and perhaps you and your family need more time and distance than just one year this time. It's just a suggestion..... Oh and in the future, I don't think you should say anything negative about your life or dh to anyone in your family again. Don't give them any ammo. Just my 2 cents. :)

[Julie in Monterey]

I agree with all of this posted by someone else;.............."That kids are supposed to want to leave home. You don't want him to be a kid who doesn't want to grow up and leave. I had great parents, and I spent my entire senior year fantacizing about other families I could live with.

 

I don't think your son considering this plan necessarily is a reflection on you not "playing up" the good aspects of your family life. It might be a great reflection on you as a parent - that your son is ready to leave, has the confidence, and has the wisdom to choose someone who isn't criminally insane.

 

I would stress to him how much you are looking forward to his senior year and that he has the rest of his life to live where and with whom he pleases."

 

Okay for my own 2 cents. Please consider that however inappropriate this request was directly to your son especially without talking it over with you first, that it most likely came from a pure and loving part of your sister's heart. The fact that she wants your fine young man to spend a year in her home is a HUGE compliment to all your have done with him. Please know that just because your son is excited by this prospect, it doesn't mean he doesn't value his upbringing/homeschooling. It's such a natural response.

 

Hugs, love and positive thoughts are going your way.

 

Please talk to your sister and clear the air. This can be resolved. You will feel so much better...just remember good intentions were most likely the motivators.

 

Peace,

 

Julie in Monterey

[JFSinIL]

Remind him that YOU are his mom, not your sister.

 

In a couple years, when you homeschooled son is off at a good college and your sisters "diploma" son has not been accepted into the Ivy League...who will have the last laugh. Zillions of kids go to school and get diplomas. A smaller number of kid homeschool...yet they are proving to be quality students in which colleges are getting very interested. Let your ds chew on THAT for a while!!!

[dirty ethel rackham]

Okay for my own 2 cents. Please consider that however inappropriate this request was directly to your son especially without talking it over with you first, that it most likely came from a pure and loving part of your sister's heart. The fact that she wants your fine young man to spend a year in her home is a HUGE compliment to all your have done with him. Please know that just because your son is excited by this prospect, it doesn't mean he doesn't value his upbringing/homeschooling. It's such a natural response.

 

 

I respectfully disagree that her motivations came from a "pure and loving heart." She may have thought her motives were pure. However, it came from a sense of superiority about her own life and a sense of contempt for Jennifer's life. There is nothing pure about that. It is underhanded all the same.

 

{{Jennifer}} I know that you are instilling appropriate values in your children and that goes further than any high fallutin' prep school could do.

[JennifersLost]

The storm has blown over again and dear sister and I are talking again. She's been very nice and well-behaved this morning and even gave me a present.

 

I think more than anything else this was all thoughtless, and that's kind of been the theme for me this summer. People are so comfortable with my niceness that they say whatever enters their heads - it just spills out. On the one hand, I guess that's a compliment to me. On the other, it means that I'm not being considered much. I think I have made a little progress this summer and all the uncomfortableness has been around me reacting to situations that in the pass I would have let slide.

 

I am happy that ds is thrilled about the future. I'm also happy that he seems ready to work hard this year. I think my sister will think twice before making that kind of offer again. (She sent him home with an Econ book - that's so funny to me, because I was posting about econ on the other board. Most of the time I love getting extra books for homeschooling. In my present mood I wish she had asked me first.)

 

I hope I get through all of this with a thicker skin and some more confidence. Obviously, people are finding my weak spots this summer, LOL.

[PiCO]

She doesn't know what's required to get a diploma.

 

Yes- this is a logical problem with your sister's underhanded plan. I have a friend whose dd went part-time to public school for her freshman and sophmore years, and full time her junior and senior years. She was not allowed to graduate with her class- she just went to graduation and watched. All her classmates wanted to protest on her behalf, but she told them no- she new the deal when she started part-time.

 

Anyway, when you're talking to your sister you might want to ask if she's talked to the school yet. If she hasn't, you have her- and if she has, that's even further she went without your consent.

 

I do agree that the worst part of this is her implying that your lifestyle is not as good as hers. I grew up in Connecticut, and believe me- I'm glad to be away from that "scene".

[sleepy]

:grouphug: I'm glad things are going better this morning. :001_smile:

[Mississippi Missy]

Sorry to hear. That is hard. Does your son realize that he can have a diploma also even though he homeschools. I'm not that far yet, only 5th grade, but I do know they can graduate with a "diploma." I think you should mention to your sister that she hurt you and that she shouldn't of gone there without talking to you first. But then you do need to forgive her. Even if she isn't sorry. I know that is tuff, I've been there also. But if you don't resentment and bitterness will eat you alive. Hope all works out for you.

[Nestof3]

I don't care what she offerred, my kids would not be going to her house again, and I most likely would not either. It is completely wrong to discuss this thing with someone's child prior to the parent.

 

What audacity!

[Old Dominion Heather]

:grouphug: I'm glad you're feeling better today. I just saw the thread tonight. Sounds sort of like my family.

[JennifersLost]

So, I go out to the campfire tonight and sit with my son and sister. Ds says, "Oh, good, Mom's here. Now we can talk about my going to live with you senior year."

 

My sister says, "I told you not to talk about it in front of your mom any more."

 

ds says, "No you didn't."

 

Sister says, "Well, I'm telling you now!"

 

Splutter, cough, oh for goodness' sakes! One more day. One more day. One more day.....

 

I think she was telling him to stop talking about it all together, but boy did that come out wrong. Other than that it was a very nice day. I haven't had a chance to take ds aside and tell him to cool it yet.

[Jean in Newcastle]

No chance you can leave early?! I would be "busy" all next summer and not be able to make any family visits.