Anyone??

Hi, I'm trying to improve the quality of my paper and I was wondering if anyone has any constructive criticism? I would really appreciate it! :laugh:

Hi I'm a tenth grader doing my first argumentative paper and I would really appreciate some feedback. Writing is not my strong point! :001_smile: Topic: Do violent video games effect teens to act in a violent way? Thesis: A teenager playing a violent video game will be influenced to act violently. Most people don’t think a violent video game has a big impact on teenagers. The question is why wouldn’t a mindless killing game influence a teen? If you watch a gourmet cooking show it makes you hungry. If you watch a sad movie you might feel depressed or saddened afterward. If you can be influenced by something as simple as a movie or TV show, a teenager playing a violent video game will be influenced to act violently. First, violent video games can cause them to act violently within their family. According to the website Clean Cut Media, a sixteen year old boy named Daniel Petric shot and killed his mother and wounded his father because they would not let him play Halo 3. He faces up to twenty three years to life in prison. Next, violent video games can cause teens to act violently in school. Its been twelve year since the Columbine school shooting when two teen boy committed a horrific crime. They shot and killed twelve of their peers, one teacher, wounded numerous others, and then killed themselves. They both suffered from depression and other issues but USA TODAY states that according to their parents and friends, they would play violent computer games for hours upon hours. Finally, these violent video games can cause teens to act violently in society. A tragic example is the story of eighteen year old Devin Moore as told by a 60 minute report. He was brought to the police station by Officer Arnold Strickland who suspected Devin of stealing a car. Devin then grabbed the officers gun and shot him multiple times. Just then, Officer James Crump heard these gunshots and went to investigate, Devin then shot him three times. Then before leaving he shot a 911 dispatcher named Ace Mealer, stole a police car and drove away. What makes this story even worse is the fact that Devin had already done this before, just not in real life. Grand Theft Auto had allowed Devin to shoot police officers and steal their cars, just as he had done to these three innocent men. It’s clear to see these violent video games are influencing teens to act in irrational, violent ways. There are many more stories of young people murdering there family, friends, and innocent bystanders. Sadly the majority of the time the teens are under the influence of these violent games. The death of the people mentioned above might never have happened if the teens with them had not been exposed to the violence of these video games. It’s time to change what kind of video games our teens are playing, and that change could start with you. Thank you for taking the time to read this!

I second this idea. You can get some great, great deals in the clearance aisles right now.

I haven't been on these forums in quite some time and I just popped on tonight and saw the title of your post and said to myself "holy moly I could have written that!" Your post describes "exactly" what I am going through with my soon to be 9th grade dd... I have no answers for you as I'm still trying to figure it out myself...but I have tons and tons of sympathy for you!! It is not easy that's for sure.

This is what I did for Saxon 3. In a Word document I made a table with two columns. Then, I just put the # of the problem in the first column and then typed the question out in the second column. I did it for a few months of questions and then printed out the sheet. My kids would do the appropriate question for the day and then highlight it to show that it was finished. I had to draw a table on the back of the sheet for one or two of the questions but that's it. I did this two years ago and reused it last year with my ds. It takes very little effort and time to do and would be very easy to do with Saxon 2.

Have you tried putting her in pull ups? This might alleviate her fear of wetting herself. She can pull them down and check if they are wet. If they are, she can change them. If they're not, she can leave them on. My ds who is 9 went through a bed wetting phase. He was fine until he was about 7 or 8 and then he just started having accidents a few nights a week. It was very frustrating. After trying everything else, I finally put him in pull ups and it was like a weight lifted off his shoulders. He didn't have to worry about it anymore. He still had accidents but they became fewer. Now he doesn't need them any more although he still has the occasional accident. My sympathies are with you. The irrational behavior of our kids can be one of the toughest things to deal with at times. Hang in there...this too shall pass! :)

I loved the idea of this book -the love story and the way he traveled through time but I hated some of the situations the author put in and I especially hated some of the language. It seemed so unnecessary. I couldn't finish it. I seem to be in the minority in my dislike of this book but to each his own.

Our local news stations have "help me" segments. Viewers can contact the station, explain the problem they couldn't solve and if they think it makes a good story, they will try to resolve it for you. Maybe your stations have something similar. As others have said, your local newspaper may be able to help. I would also contact your local politicians - higher then the city council. Find out who your state legislator is and contact them with the issue as well. Before any of these, I would give the library manager an opportunity to do the right thing. If she doesn't, well....

I would consider digging a little deeper with your dd about "why" she wants to go strapless. What look is she hoping for? Does she think that this will help her to look cool or pretty or popular? Once you have answers to these then I think it would be easier for you to address why this wouldn't be appropriate attire for her.

Very clever!

Let me say right at the start that I'm very, very pro breastfeeding. I nursed all three of my children but by my choice, only to a year old. I loved it. Having said that, while I was watching that video, all three of my dc's wandered over to see what I was watching. Here are their comments: That it was weird, awkward, disturbing, disgusting and a little bit gross. :tongue_smilie: I tend to agree with all their opinions. Especially the part where they named them...Ewww!

This was a really long post but it was worth the read. There are a lot of nuggets of wisdom throughout it! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts as I've been struggling with just this issue (independent work) with my 12 yo and it has put some things in perspective for me.

Does this really surprise anyone? No one is bothering to *fix* the problems - all the gov't does is throw more & more money into it but the people who got them into the mess in the first place are left in their jobs. More money = more opportunity to spend it. If my child got into a huge financial mess I would most certainly help them - but I would make darn sure that I did everything in my power to help them to change so it didn't happen again. Otherwise it would just keep happening over and over.

Oh my goodness...you had me all the way to the end! Can anyone say "gullible!" :D