Tell me I am not making a mistake (my business vent issue again) LONG!!!!!

[Halcyon]

Okay, for those of you who have been following my business saga....i was a partner for a trial 3 month period with someone in a holistic healthcare practice. It wasn't working out and I told him so. Long story short, I am looking for new space to run my business and see my clients. 

 

I have looked at a number of places over the last week. My requirements are reasonable rent, proper layout of the space, good location, parking, good 'vibe' (not too 'business-y" or formal feeling, but not gross either), wood or laminate floors or the ability to put them in....anyway, I would like to spend about 800 a month, with the potential to sublease a room to a massage therapist to offset rent. Most places i looked at were more than $1000 and while i could squeak by with that, I have been there before (renting a place that was a bit too much) and I really don't want to go there again. I charge low prices to allow everyone to afford me, and in exchange, my clients don't get the fanciest place but I do want a clean, relaxing, non-grungy environment in a good location.

 

Okay, so i have looked at a few places which i could sign a lease on. One place is too small (500 sf) but I could make it work. It's a little grungy, but it's in a good location, lots of parking, good signage, but again, too small. Price is 700 a month, electricity included. I would need to knock down a wall and rip up carpeting. I could sublet a room if I find a massage therapist. 2nd place: same business park, larger (860 sf) and plenty of room, but more than I want to spend ($1100) and i would HAVE to find responsible sublettors immediately to offset the rent. I would need to put down flooring and rip up a wall. I don't think I need that stress. Homeschooling is my NUMBER ONE priority, and this is a side thing to keep my hand in things, see patients, and hang out with adults LOL. I dont want it to consume me, at least not til my kids are either in college or public high school, if that's what we decide.

 

Okay, so. Third place. Guess what. It's located literally ACROSS THE STREET from the place I am now (and the ex-partner who now sees me as competition). A few months ago, a psychotherapist stopped by my current office to introduce herself. She said she worked across the street and wanted to learn more about what we did. We hit it off, and chatted for a while. Anyway, I thought her office, a free-standing, bright yellow building with hardwood floors, a porch, beautiful fixture and a great vibe, was a wonderful little office.

 

When I was told I needed to leave my current space (again, for those of you who didn't follow, I wanted to pay a flat rent, and ex-partner wanted a (large) percentage of my earnings, which would have amount to almost $900 a month) I thought of her, like a flicker in the back of my mind. So on a total whim, I emailed her, reminded her of who i was, and asked if she had space to rent. Well, she did remember me, and would love to rent some space to me. I went to visit her today. She was very low-key, happy to have me join her for a flat amount. I asked her what she would expect for rent, and she didn't know. I offered $400 (she told me her rent was $1100 a month) for 3-4 shifts a week of 5 hours, working around her needs (she has a separate office). She was like "Okay, sounds great!) The space is gorgeous. There might be a problem with parking, and I would need to create a visually separated reception area with a bamboo screen or something, but that's it. Oh, and I may have to use light recliners rather than puffy lazy boys, but that's okay. She wants to be able to move them out if need be on occasion to use the room. 

 

Otherwise, the room needs nothing. Real hardwood floor, real ceiling (not drop ceiling tiles), beautiful fixtures, light streaming in...she is only there 15 hours a week (in two separate office rooms) as she herself only started her business 6 months ago, so I think it would benefit her, too, to have me there. I wouldn't have to put money in, I could stay as long or short as I want (other places require 3 years) so there is less a feeling of "oh sh*T, what have I signed on to!!!??" She is also willing to do a "trial run" for a month or two to see if it works for me. No commitment unless I want one. She will allow me to put a nice sign RIGHT on the street to get all the traffic eyes, and it's a busy street. 

 

Negatives? It's ACROSS THE STREET from my ex-partners. Steps away. We are a small town, so it's not like "a Starbucks on every corner" in Manhattan. I sense he would think I did this purposefully and be quite upset. I know it's none of his business where I move, but I dont' want to make him upset needlessly. My sister says I can't control this, and i gave him many opportunities to continue my working relationship with him, but he turned me down, and now I need todo what's best for me, etc. etc. I agree. 

 

But a small part of me still thinks it would be rude to open across the street. Thoughts??? Thanks for listening. AGAIN.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Listen to your sister.  He had first dibs on working things out with you.  He was the unreasonable one, not you.  This is ideal for so many reasons but one reason is because it is right across the street.  Your patients will not have a hard time finding you and that is important.  If you were to put a sign out dissing your old partner and telling people to come to you instead, you would be out of line but this?  You're just fine and I say go for it!

[Forget-Me-Not]

Do it. He had a chance and passed it up. It sounds heaven-sent, honestly, and I think it will all work out.

[Halcyon]

Listen to your sister.  He had first dibs on working things out with you.  He was the unreasonable one, not you.  This is ideal for so many reasons but one reason is because it is right across the street.  Your patients will not have a hard time finding you and that is important.  If you were to put a sign out dissing your old partner and telling people to come to you instead, you would be out of line but this?  You're just fine and I say go for it!

That was my NUMBER ONE THOUGHT. All I have to say is "I am going right across the street". No fuss, no muss. Many of my clients are older and don't like change and fuss, and this will be manageable for them, kwim?

[zoobie]

That was my NUMBER ONE THOUGHT. All I have to say is "I am going right across the street". No fuss, no muss. Many of my clients are older and don't like change and fuss, and this will be manageable for them, kwim?

It's a business decision. He created your problem, and he shouldn't factor into your solution. Hope everything goes smoothly!

[JudoMom]

He's the one who shot himself in the foot by being a greedy guy.  Do what is best for your business.

[Annie G]

Take it. It sounds beautiful, is affordable, and since it's a small town it's not like you'd relocate very far away anyway. He had his chance.  And he's going to be upset no matter what- so you cannot avoid that anyway. Listen to your sister. And enjoy your new place!!

[Halcyon]

Thank you so much, everyone. I have been praying that the solution would come to me, and that I would be able to recognize it when it arrived. I think I need to see this for what it is---a lovely opportunity, something going my way, and simply be grateful for it.

[Heatherwith4]

I would take it. You tried to work things out, and he didn't want to. :grouphug:

[Miss Peregrine]

Do eeeeeet.

[idnib]

I also have a holistic health practice with a shared office (almost same requirements as you).

 

Absolutely take the space. Be polite and friendly if you run into the ex-partners.

 

People move to better situations all the time, especially in the service industry.

 

Do NOT make the mistake many women make of trying to do the nice thing; you've done nothing wrong or unethical. You and the ex-partners couldn't find a deal you could agree on, that's all.

 

Go for it, TODAY.

 

[Halcyon]

I also have a holistic health practice with a shared office (almost same requirements as you).

 

Absolutely take the space. Be polite and friendly if you run into the ex-partners.

 

People move to better situations all the time, especially in the service industry.

 

Do NOT make the mistake many women make of trying to do the nice thing; you've done nothing wrong or unethical. You and the ex-partners couldn't find a deal you could agree on, that's all.

 

Go for it, TODAY.

 

 

Thank you. You are right. I have to get over it and move on, doing what's best for my patients, my family, and me. 

[texasmama]

Do what works for you.  You have, in good conscience, tried to find other places. You know your motives are pure.  Make a conscious decision to let go of his reactions/feelings.  He owns them, not you.

 

P.S.  I went to acupuncture today.  :D

 

P.P.S  If I lived in FL or you lived in TX, we could totally share some office space.

[Halcyon]

Do what works for you.  You have, in good conscience, tried to find other places. You know your motives are pure.  Make a conscious decision to let go of his reactions/feelings.  He owns them, not you.

 

P.S.  I went to acupuncture today.  :D

 

P.P.S  If I lived in FL or you lived in TX, we could totally share some office space.

 

Oh my goodness, I forgot you were going today! Did you enjoy the experience? Probably too early to tell if it worked, but did you at least enjoy the experience??

[Dandelion]

Go for it.  If you don't take this space (which sounds ideal for you), you're just letting your ex-partner continue to negatively affect your business.  Time to move on and do what is in YOUR best interest. 

 

Do NOT make the mistake many women make of trying to do the nice thing; you've done nothing wrong or unethical. You and the ex-partners couldn't find a deal you could agree on, that's all.

 

 

 

Excellent advice.  If you find yourself struggling with "wanting to do the nice thing", read the book "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office".  So many women sabotage their businesses or careers because of this.  Don't fall into that trap. 

[texasmama]

Oh my goodness, I forgot you were going today! Did you enjoy the experience? Probably too early to tell if it worked, but did you at least enjoy the experience??

I did!  It is kind of a nurturing type experience, which is nice.  Not much of that going on in my life.  lol  It did make me want to get a massage.  I am going back on Wednesday because I am going to kick some migraine....well, you know.  :D

[Um_2_4]

Go with your sis on this one... sounds like a dream move.

[TammyinTN]

Again if it were me...I'd do a trial run with her in the new space.  It sounds lovely.  You owe him nothing...he can just suck it up buttercup.  

[Tap]

Take the ex-partner out of the equation.

 

How do you feel about the space, location, and obligation?  It sounds like it is just about perfect.

How do you feel about being across the street?  Do you feel like you have any issue with him being across the street?  Can you be cordial and professional if you see him and the others who remain? It sounds to me like you can handle all of these things.

 

How he feels.....is not your responsibility.  You have been respectful.  You gave the partnership a try and it didn't work,  You offered other solutions, he turned it down.  You can not let his decisions affect you after you leave.  You are no longer his partner and no longer need to worry about him.  He let you go, you didn't leave out of spite.  

 

Move forward and move on.  Be happy and positive when you speak of the old business.  Try to send them referrals if you can.  

 

I am very happy to hear that the path is becoming clearer!  Happy moving!

[Halcyon]

Go for it.  If you don't take this space (which sounds ideal for you), you're just letting your ex-partner continue to negatively affect your business.  Time to move on and do what is in YOUR best interest. 

 

 

Excellent advice.  If you find yourself struggling with "wanting to do the nice thing", read the book "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office".  So many women sabotage their businesses or careers because of this.  Don't fall into that trap. 

 

 

I am going to look at that book, thanks. What's funny is, I am pretty tough, but I just hate confrontation, and I know that not only would I run into him quite a bit, but he would (obviously) know I am wroking right across from him.

 

I think it's time I put my big girl panties on. Everything I have done so far I have thought through: Am I being honest? Am I being straightforward? Am I being clear with my needs? Am I being honest with my own shortcomings in this situation? What can I do better here? So I feel I am putting an awful lot of thought into this whole thing, in my attempts to not "create negative karma" (that's not exactly what I mean, but it's the best I can do tonight). 

[Halcyon]

.  Be happy and positive when you speak of the old business.  Try to send them referrals if you can.  

 

I am very happy to hear that the path is becoming clearer!  Happy moving!

 

Just sent him someone today, actually, as I am taking the week off and this person wanted immediate treatment.

 

I have tried very hard not to sound negative when I speak about the relationship (and I don't talk about it with many people, just you guys, DH, sister and a massage therapist in the office who wanted to know what was going on). I simply say we both have different visions for what we want, and both are valid. They just don't work together. 

[Lilaclady]

I will say do the trial run with the office across the street. You have tried to work it out with ex partner and it is not working. Time to move on. All the best at the new location

[hillfarm]

Rude would be mooning him every time he comes out of his office onto the sidewalk. Rude would be calling the city and complaining every single time one of his patients exceeded the parking time allotment by 30 seconds. Making a professional choice that happens to put you across the street from him may be ironic, but it is not rude.

 

Depending on how you think he will take the news, you might consider meeting with him, and perhaps the massage therapist who knows what is going on, shortly before you leave his office and as a courtesy, informing him that of the many places you considered, the best rent and floor plan happened to be right across the street. Don't ask for his permission or blessing. If he gets fussy, remind him that you are telling him in person as a courtesy because you respect him as a professional. I would reiterate that not only do you not intend to compete, but that you are still actively referring clients to him. Don't share any of the specific details regarding the amount of rent or any other arrangements with any of the locations. If he asks, tell him that isn't relevant to the discussion and change the subject. The massage therapist (or other neutral 3rd party) should be there only to witness the meeting, not to have any input or say in things.

 

The reason I suggest this meeting is to try to prevent him from going off the deep end if he would feel both betrayed and blindsided later if he found out by surprise. However, you will have to control the situation (like a homeschool mom notifying the teen that there will be no end of school trip to the beach because they did not meet their end of the grades bargain, and that actions have consequences). You would not be a supplicant, begging his pardon. You are an independent business person with strong ethics. He really has no say in this, you are merely informing him of your choice out of respect. If he balks and sputters, do remind him that he had the opportunity to work with you but he was unable to offer you terms that would be healthy for your business. Don't let him change his tune and beg you to stay. He would still be the same person as ever, probably worse after "losing face" with you. Just tell him, "The irony of this situation is not lost on me either. But it is what it is and we will both just have to deal with it. I wanted you to hear it from me first because I respect you." And then end the meeting.

[Halcyon]

Oh, hillfarm....you're goooooood.

[Hikin' Mama]

One more "Do it!" It sounds like a perfect space!

[songsparrow]

Some might choose to view it as a synchronious development - if you had not done your "trial run" in your current office (as unsuccessful as it was), you would not have met this woman and been in a position to now rent a space from her that perfectly meets your needs!  Sometimes good comes from bad.

[Halcyon]

Update! I went out for a glass of wine with the woman I am thinking of renting from(the one across the street) and we discussed my professional needs, her needs, etc and.....it's a done deal! Starting on September 1, I have a beautiful space to work in, at a price I can afford. Plus, I really like her.

 

Win, win, win! :)

 

Thank you everyone for talking me through this! I really hope this works out.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Woo hoo!  I'm really happy for you.  

[Jean in Newcastle]

Woo hoo!  I'm really happy for you.  

[Tap]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=312EMkURAFw

[SunnyDays]

It sounds like a great situation.  And you can't really control where the opportunity happened to crop up.  Love Hillfarm's suggestion, too.  You know, I'd have been concerned too, and as women, I really think we spend half our time worrying about soothing hurt feelings and meeting everyone else's needs.  You tried to play in his ballpark, and it didn't work.  You found a new one that works well for you, and it's just business.  Best of luck getting set up in your new space!!  :grouphug:

 

[Susan C.]

:hurray: :party:

[fraidycat]

That's great! I hope this one works out much better for you for the long term.

 

Woohoo!

[mumto2]

I haven't read beyond the original post but rent the place accross the street. No reason not to other then a 3 month relationship. It is by far the best place for you.

[Miss Mousie]

So happy to read these positive developments, Halcyon!  :hurray:

[Alessandra]

Take the ex-partner out of the equation.

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

The space you found sounds perfect!

[Chris in VA]

Sounds lovely. Kudos to you for handling things so well. I esp respect your line re homeschooling coming first.:-) Hope your beautiful new space delights you every day and makes work something to look forward to even more.

[Catwoman]

:party: :party: :party:

 

I'm so glad you've found a place you like, and that the woman seems nice.

 

It's so hard to feel like everything is up in the air, so you must be so relieved!!!