Are you totally laid back, intense or somewhere in between?

[Parrothead]

Apparently I'm more intense than I thought. I cannot stand not having a plan. And right now the not knowing the plan is making me twitch. I can't plan tomorrow because I don't know what the inlaws are thinking/doing. For Pete's sake, I have a turkey to cook. I need to know when to put it on.

 

Dh texted his mother this morning. At 11 they were in PA. PA? You don't go into PA coming here from there. Maybe they stopped in Philly for lunch. I was co fused but knew they wouldn't be here any time soon.

 

Then I got everything done. And sat down with mapquest. Oh, crap! Driving from Philly to my house they should be just outside Boston. That is 5.5 hours away. They will be here tonight instead of tomorrow. Aaaaagggghhhh!

 

Dh came home and I asked him to,call to see what their ETA is. Nope he texts. Okay, fine. Whatever just find out where they are. Albany, NY. Albany? What the blue-blazes are they doing in Albany? They are two hours off course.

 

Dh has to remind me that the course isn't mine to plot.

 

But these people don't sleep late. Are they going to be on my front porch at 8am? Would someone please tell me the freaking plan so I can schedule my life accordingly?

 

Yeah, a little intense. I'm going to go curl up in the fetal position until it is time to cook the turkey. Whenever that is.

[Stacia]

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[fraidycat]

It depends on the day, or circumstances. :)

 

I am mostly in between, leaning toward laid back, but have occasional moments of extreme intensity. In a case like yours I lay the blame where it belongs -at the feet of the non-communicative visitors. "I didn't know when you'd be arriving for sure, so we are eating sandwiches and cut veggies, they keep the best. Nice to see you." ;)

[Jean in Newcastle]

Make sure you have some extra donuts for breakfast if they are here.  Chat with your MIL while you get the turkey in tomorrow morning.  I freak out inside but outside I'm cool as ice.   :coolgleamA:

[Parrothead]

The turkey is for them. So they have something to eat this week besides veggies.

 

And it isn't so much the food. It is the not knowing when thy are planning to arrive. I don't need to know down to the last second, but a ballpark figure would be nice.

 

Dh is all they will be here when they get here.

 

If they'd call when they hit Bangor to see if we need anything that would be nice.

[momto10blessings]

freak out inside but outside I'm cool as ice. :coolgleamA:

Same. Intense on the inside and completely relaxed on the outside. If only people knew lol

[HomeschoolMamaOfTwo]

In between.  I am not completely laid back, but the situation you are describing wouldn't bother me.

[PrincessMommy]

I used to be completely laid back.  As I've gotten older I've noticed I've become - not so much intense - but anxious.  Does that make sense?  Things that used to be no big deal gnaw at me now.  It makes me a little sad.

 

[Luanne]

In most cases I am laid back, but in a situation like you described, like you, I'd want to know at least roughly when they were going to be here.  Like Wendy, I don't like to entertain. 

[Arcadia]

 It is the not knowing when thy are planning to arrive. I don't need to know down to the last second, but a ballpark figure would be nice.

I'm a planner but I am also very laid back. Out of town visitors, relatives included, knows that they should let me know at least an hour in advance of arrival so that I can be mentally prepared.  Hubby has been known to tell his father to call at every mall they stopover on the way.  It is actually their family culture to call when in a mall to check if anyone needs anything.  My in-laws are thankfully easy to entertain in the food department as they will just go to the supermarket and enjoy strolling there once they dump their luggage at our home. My friends would usually bring food with them.

I am intense/hyperfocus on things I like to the point of OCD sometimes.

[Parrothead]

 

:grouphug:

They are low carb people. We are flexitatians who lean heavily to vegetarianism. Hence the turkey.

[LaxMom]

I would be losing my mind.

[Parrothead]

I would be losing my mind.

I'm staying up until midnight. At 4p they were 8.5 hours away. They could be here at midnight. If it were my people they would be here AT&T midnight (well 10p. They would have run straight up the interstate.) because my dad would not want to spend the money on a hotel room.

[Rosie_0801]

I have my moments on each end of the spectrum. Once upon a time your situation would have annoyed the blazes out of me. Now I'd say if they didn't care enough to say when they were going to show up, I'd have the turkey whenever I liked. And since I don't care for turkey, it would still be in the fridge when they arrived!

[Delirium]

In between here. I can't handle late though. To the point I lie about the time something starts to chronically late people (my spouse included).

[PrairieSong]

I am pretty laid back. I would have gone ahead and cooked the turkey because it keeps well and you can reheat it or make something else with it. Crock meals are good for when you don't know exactly when you'll be eating. Most of those recipes are forgiving. Or I'd make ahead some casseroles or soup and freeze it in smallish containers for quick thawing.

 

I like having a plan, but I am flexible and can always come up with Plan B...or C...or whatever.

 

I hope you have a good visit!

[Dandelion]

I'm a very intense person, but I try to project calmness (most of the time).   ;)

 

My approach for a situation like yours is to move ahead with my plan.  If people don't communicate with me, then I can't factor their specific needs into my plan.  I would have some food available that can be quickly prepared should they decide to show up late tonight.  I might stay up a little later just in case, but for the most part, I'd stick to my routine.  I'd be irritated at the lack of communication, but I wouldn't rearrange my whole day or stress about it.

 

I hope you have a great visit!  :)

[Parrothead]

Well, they didn't get very far in the last 6 hours. Now I know where they are and about what time to expect them. Anytime between 1 and 5 tomorrow. LOL. At least I don't have to worry about the turkey anymore.

[BrookValley.]

I would be losing my mind.

Yup. Me too. Heck, my MIL, who lives 6 miles away and who I like very much (no evil in-laws here), showed up unannounced one day last week and I Lost. My. S@!t. I can't live like that.

 

I'd leave the house for the next 12-24 hours and tell DH to deal.

[strange_girl]

So...they're on their way from...somewhere...south of here. They came through Philly, then Boston, then detoured to Albany (!) on their way to Bangor?

 

Are they always so off-the-cuff?

 

I'm laid back. But that would bother me. Make a plan and stick with it already! At least you know where they are now :)

[LostSurprise]

If I was not flexibly-minded, I would probably not be sane at this point. Sometimes laid back is a survival method. 

 

Don't know when they'll show up? Then they won't mind waiting for the turkey, or anything else. 

[KrissiK]

I really really wish I were laid back. But I'm not. I need a plan. I like plans. I like to know where I'm going and how. It makes me nervous when I don't have a plan.  I feel for you!

[Chris in VA]

I like plans, but I like MY plans better :-) .

Of couse, I like freedom to deviate from my plan, too.

I don't mind spontaneous visits from dear friends, but family needs to give me a time frame, because I have to clean for family.

 

Glad it seems to be working out for you, Chucki!

[happymomofboys]

I would be anxious simply at the expectation of visitors.  I can't imagine knowing that there were going to be people in my house and not knowing exactly when they were coming.  My MIL has been to my house only once, right after we moved in 4.5 years ago.  She stayed for a week and it like to have killed me.  I'm a little better when it's my own mother... but not much.  So yeah... not so laid back I guess.

[LucyStoner]

Depends on the day, the topic and the particular visitors/company. I could be intense and laid back in the same week. Who am I kidding? I could be both in the same day or even hour. I am not really very in between. I am either very chill and laidback or I am stressing over something that is usually not really a problem.

[Hannah]

In your situation I'd want to know on which day to expect them - and whether morning or evening!  Just to be sure that we we're actually home. 

And anyone arriving after 9pm will have to have let me know or else they'd find a dark, rather unwelcoming house.

 

I generally want a plan.  My daughter is competing in a provincial horse show next week and the program is still not out - its driving me crazy!  I need to know how tight her schedule is going to be so that we can plan what tack to have ready in what sequence.  And if we need to pick up anything extra, I want to do it early.

 

When travelling, I'll wing it more.  I don't have to have a fixed itinerary.

 

[Lizzie in Ma]

Completly situational for me.  I'd order out and do the turkey for sandwiches later.

[swellmomma]

depends on the day and situation.  visitors I need a definite time or I lose my mind, I have anxiety about someone being in my home and so I need to pin point a time or I will drive myself crazy with extra worry. Lots of other things going on in the same day I can be laid back about, so it is situational for sure.

[MyThreeSons]

I think that I am mostly laid back. But I am intense in certain areas: I HATE prejudice of all kinds, I HATE being late, and I really get riled up when you hurt my kids.