Heather in Neverland Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 How do you cope? The traffic here is so awful. Crowded. Dangerous. Motorbikes everywhere, weaving in and out. Everyone drives incredibly rudely and it scares me, truly. It's not standstill traffic jams. I think I could endure that. It is the danger of it all. My dh was such a laid back, easygoing guy but the traffic here has turned him into a road rage crazy person. He is always angry in the car. I am usually terrified. Someone hit our car the other day and just kept driving. No big deal apparently? No police anywhere, ever. No rules. Constant accidents. I can get from home to work without too much anguish but that is only about one mile. Anywhere else causes me such anxiety that I am getting to the point where I don't want to leave my house! We love every part of our lives here except the traffic. There is nothing we can do about it but I don't know how to not be afraid of it. My dh already suffered a broken neck from an accident here! I'm not even sure there is a question here. I think I just want to vent. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 I was truly about to commiserate, but I think you win the prize for worst traffic. OH MY! It sounds horrible. (It sounds like my memories of India. Hair-raising!) Here in the Dallas area, there is just too much traffic and (thankfully) too much construction. I drive a LOT in my work. I've found leaving early so I'm not stressed by a jam up helps abundantly. Listening to something constructive is good, too. Great music or some type of educational/motivational CD keeps my mind from stressing. Perhaps some yoga exercises and breathing would help prior to and after to ease the stress. Be safe. I'm off to count my driving and traffic blessings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 This is something I'm worried about with my husband's new job. I've spent years living in countries with bad traffic, but I have never driven in it myself. We always make sure to live in a place where I can take public transportation or walk. Or, in extreme circumstances, a taxi. I have walked for miles upon miles in other countries. But now we don't get to choose where we live when we're overseas, so we might be too far away from everything to walk, and public transportation might not be convenient (or allowed- another negative of the new job). It stinks. I don't want to hire a nanny, or a cook, or a housekeeper, but a driver is something I'd consider. None of that helps you, though, Heather. I hope you can figure out something that makes things easier. Bad traffic can be really stressful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 I haven't been to Malaysia, but my friend who was born there says traffic is a " no man's land" with no policing, emergency services, rules, or manners. She is the most courteous, polite person I have ever met, but put her behind the wheel and she becomes Mad Max; seriously, I won't ride with her anywhere, and she hates to drive with me because I am a "turtle driver." :laugh: No advice, just commiserating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted July 2, 2013 Author Share Posted July 2, 2013 I haven't been to Malaysia, but my friend who was born there says traffic is a " no man's land" with no policing, emergency services, rules, or manners. She is the most courteous, polite person I have ever met, but put her behind the wheel and she becomes Mad Max; seriously, I won't ride with her anywhere, and she hates to drive with me because I am a "turtle driver." :laugh: No advice, just commiserating. Every word of that is true! I have friends here who are the sweetest, most gentle people but when they drive it's like they are feral! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 We live in the DC area, and hubby has to commute everyday. It's about 1 to 1 1/2 to get to work each day and 2 hours to get home. Honestly, I think the man has the patience of a saint. I could not do it. I avoid those areas at peak times and stick to back roads whenever possible. I try to travel on weekends and on Sunday when it's less traffic. What you're dealing with sounds like our Korea experience...I took a bus everywhere so I didn't have to drive with three small kids. Dh drove everywhere, and everyday....there were numerous accidents and bumps in traffic. I don't miss living there with the crazy traffic of Seoul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Oh, boy, I think it's bad here (at times) but I know it can't compare to where you are, Heather. I've told my dh when he retires we are moving somewhere where there's less traffic. I can't imagine being a little old lady behind the wheel and coping with the cars on the road. I try to remember to say a prayer every time before I start driving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 I'm still traumatized from just trying to cross a street in Thailand. I think I would find it very difficult to deal with on a constant basis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dm379 Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 We live in the DC area, and hubby has to commute everyday. It's about 1 to 1 1/2 to get to work each day and 2 hours to get home. Honestly, I think the man has the patience of a saint. I could not do it. I avoid those areas at peak times and stick to back roads whenever possible. I try to travel on weekends and on Sunday when it's less traffic. What you're dealing with sounds like our Korea experience...I took a bus everywhere so I didn't have to drive with three small kids. Dh drove everywhere, and everyday....there were numerous accidents and bumps in traffic. I don't miss living there with the crazy traffic of Seoul. When I read the op I had flashbacks to living in Seoul too. I rarely drove at first but after a while I just got used to it but still didn't drive too much because of the lack of parking. I don't miss big city living at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckles Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 I live in Los Angeles. It is crazy here. The rudeness on the road is overwhelming sometimes. I rarely get on the highways. I take surface streets if I can. When we lived in China we took the bus, or we took a taxi. I would laugh/scream every time we tried to cross the street on foot. The anxiety of traffic has taken years off of my life. I can't wait to move to some small town away from this nonsense. My mom gets quite upset with me when she rides with me here in L.A.. She says I'm too aggressive and upset. I just tell her "you try living here and putting up with this every day." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 In the Philippines we had a professional driver. Most middle-class and up people have them because of the problems you stated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lamolina Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 We live in Lima, Peru and I know what you are talking about Heather! Sometimes I have to close my eyes and just not watch what is going on because it is so crazy. (just riding, not driving!) What I think is so funny is that to get a drivers license here you have to pass a lot of tests. Written, behind the wheel, psychological, strength, etc. But people drive like madmen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 DH staggered his commute in LA to avoid traffic. He does the same here. I was not as lucky as my job/commute times were set in stone and I couldn't avoid it. I just learned to deal. It was just a part of LA life. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 In the Philippines we had a professional driver. Most middle-class and up people have them because of the problems you stated. This was our experience when we lived in the Middle East. There was a service my Dad's company employed and it was quick and very cheap. Mostly it was for wives/daughters, because women weren't allowed to drive. These drivers knew how to navigate the madness, and being in the back seat I always felt safer, too. Might be an option to explore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 You live in Turkey, right? I visited Istanbul for a week once, and was pretty insane. If I lived somewhere like that I think I would get myself a tank of a car. Which is probably impractical due to parking and maneuvering........ it's tough! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 I live in a place with not bad traffic, and well behaved drivers. I still pick whenever possible to not drive. I don't suppose you can get away with that, I doubt biking or walking would be safer feeling. Perhaps you could run away and hide. :) I know I would. ETA: Actually, don't run. You meet end up near a street. Just stay in bed and hide. With your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I grew up near Boston so I'm used to drivers that are crazy by American standards but nothing remotely like what you mentioned. I agree with the PP about looking into hiring a driver if your budget allows for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 :grouphug: whenever someone complains about traffic laws you can share your experience of where people don't obey any. (if there are any.) let alone have them enforced. we have heavy traffic, but there are laws and most people follow them. the guy on the motorcycle racing up the freeway between lanes of bumper to bumper traffic giving heart attacks (and he's already gone before we realized what was happening) to the other drivers are the exception. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 DC area here, too. It's a pain, but nothing like what OP describes. I think I'd hide in the house, too! As it is, we just avoid the peak traffic times whenever possible, and invest in a good audiobook collection for when we can't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Seriously Heather, if you can possibly afford to hire a driver and then limit your outings, that might be really helpful. Take a book on tape or music, stick the earbuds in, and try to close your eyes and breathe deep. I do understand, and I haven't lived with it. However, I still very occasionally, some 28 years post incident still have a nightmare about the near miss I had crossing a street in Kingston, Jamaica. I was only there for a month, but it was during the National Strikes back in the 80's...lots of government upheavel, men with machine guns in the streets, etc. I was nearly run over by a car fleeing a bunch of men in a truck who had guns pointed at said car. I can still describe the car and the truck in vivid detail. I do not have problems here in the states since the worst traffic I ever have to deal with Detroit which is NOTHING compared to most countries or for that matter, many other U.S. cities, but I honestly think that if I had to drive in what you are describing, I would probably have a small panic attack and relive the moment. Does Malaysia have the same rule that Jamaica did, "If you honk first, you can hit it and not stop?" Man, beast, car, bike, herd of goats...didn't matter....HORNS BLARED EVERYWHERE CONSTANTLY!!!!! Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhanaBee Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 I live in Los Angeles. It is crazy here. The rudeness on the road is overwhelming sometimes. I rarely get on the highways. I take surface streets if I can. When we lived in China we took the bus, or we took a taxi. I would laugh/scream every time we tried to cross the street on foot. The anxiety of traffic has taken years off of my life. I can't wait to move to some small town away from this nonsense. My mom gets quite upset with me when she rides with me here in L.A.. She says I'm too aggressive and upset. I just tell her "you try living here and putting up with this every day." Nooooo kidding! When I go home to visit my family in L.A. I jump right back into the "kill or be killed" mode of driving. It's the only way to survive out there!. My dh won't ride in a car with me for at least a week after I return home. He says it takes that long to get the Aggressive Driver out of me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 Dh just returned from India, and he said the traffic was unbelievable. In fact, he videoed it because he thought I wouldn't believe it. He had a driver while he was there, and was very thankful for that. So, while I have never lived in it, I have seen a video, and I couldn't handle it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incognito Posted July 2, 2013 Share Posted July 2, 2013 I've been to places with driving like this, and have always enjoyed being ferried by taxis or locals. I understand you live there, but wouldn't it likely be cheaper for you to hire someone than to have a car for yourself? I wouldn't drive in that environment. I was in a caravan once where one of the vans did hit a goat, after honking, but the driver was reprimanded and had to go back and find the goat owner and pay him for the goat. I was SOO glad I was seeing a goat be maimed and killed instead of one of the small children wandering nearby. It was horrible, but could have been worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 We live in the DC area, so we're used to extreme traffic congestion, not insane free-for-all traffic. I remember visiting Seoul and being scandalized that nobody paid attention to the painted lines. Clearly, a 2 lane street can hold 4-5 (what passes for lanes) of traffic. Who knew? And the horns . . . something about if they beeped, then hit you it wasn't their fault? I don't even know, but it was traumatic on a bus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 We live in a high traffic area and chose to live in the middle of the city. My DH does a 15 minute reverse commute every day. I had to drive my oldest to a theater camp all of like 6 miles from here for 2 weeks in a row - drop off at 9 am, pick up at 4 pm. I had to budget 60 to 90 minutes for that drive round trip. Ugh - pure torture! I'm going to get better about loading up some audio books for this fall for getting to kid's activities. We'll call it car school! I have to say that our dept. of transportation must have been smoking something when they planned construction for this summer. It's like an intentional maze of torture. Definitey sounds like you win for worst traffic ever! My brain would explode if someone hit my car and drove off. I've been to Asia, and there is some seriously insane driving going on there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 The traffic in Dar es Salaam was the same way when I spent three weeks with my cousin who lives there. Honestly, her husband is very "zen" about it. Mostly they just are very careful not to drive more than they have to. It is the hardest thing they have to deal with by far, because it is day in and day out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violamama Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 I have a Pakistani friend who once failed a driving exam for not honking enough. I second all the recs for a driver if at all possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 :grouphug: I drive in NYC all the time -- crowded, but there are traffic laws, signs and traffic lights, so it is a walk in the park compared to some countries. I have not driven myself, but have been driven in places where each intersection is a free for all -- no lights or signs -- with the right of way going to the most aggressive driver. I hope you can get a driver. Your traffic sounds so horrible!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 when/if you move back to the US, do not settle in Miami. We now understand why my mother drives like a maniac. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 when/if you move back to the US, do not settle in Miami. We now understand why my mother drives like a maniac. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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