I believe this year was a disaster and my son will go back to PS next year

[runbikeswim]

Well guys, I started this year with such high hopes and it is ending in a bunch of tears. I homeschooled my son this year, our first year doing this unless you count a half year of 1st grade bc of a relocation. He is a 7th grader. We are on track to finish Derek Owens Alg 1. We will have finished SOTW 1 and 2 ( I knew going in this was for younger grades but we need to fly through World History since he had had 0 exposure in PS). We have had a sporadic but demanding year of science. And we will be 3/4th through WWS.

 

I had wanted to finish WWS, book 3 and possible 4 of SOTW, do some French and grammar. Had 2 side workbooks on history that were hardly touched. Dreamed of doing some logic. None of the above panned out. I am not a good teacher, i do not make anything interesting or come to life. If he learned anything, it was in spite of me, not bc of me.

 

I am sad and just praying to finish the year. I am so sorry to be a debbie downer, but I can't say this to anyone in real lfe. They will just say they told me so :(

[Catwoman]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I'm so sorry things didn't go as planned, but please know that many of us have felt the same way at times. Sometimes, it's not YOU; it's the curriculum. Have you considered using something like an online or DVD-based program that would essentially do the teaching for you?

 

Or if you haven't tried textbooks, see if they might work for you.

 

Or a living books approach like Sonlight.

 

Or unit studies.

 

There are so many options available, that I hate to see you beating yourself up over this. If you did one thing wrong this year, it may have simply been that you didn't pick the best curriculum for your son. And believe me, many of us can absolutely relate to that! Sometimes, there's a lot of trial and error in homeschooling, and what works perfectly for one family will be a complete and utter disaster for another.

 

Unless you really and truly hate homeschooling, and you think your ds would be happier in school, I hope you'll let us try to help you analyze your situation so maybe you can find a new and different approach for next year (or even the remainder of this year, so you'll be able to see if it will work well for your ds.) We might also help you decide whether or not your expectations may have been a bit too ambitious for your first year.

[TeenagerMom]

Um, it sounds to me like you have done well for a first year! We won't have finished that much with my 7th grader because we completely changed curriculum 2 months ago because she hated her's!

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm sorry it was a tough year. In my opinion, your hopes of getting through all 4 cycles of history in one year was unrealistic. You are on track in Algebra 1. Good job! A demanding year of science even if it was sporadic doesn't sound too bad. Your English doesn't sound too bad either even if you haven't finished the book. I think you could finish it if you went through the summer. I don't think you failed, whether you decide to continue homeschooling or if you decide to put him back into ps.

[Catwoman]

I'm sorry it was a tough year. In my opinion, your hopes of getting through all 4 cycles of history in one year was unrealistic. You are on track in Algebra 1. Good job! A demanding year of science even if it was sporadic doesn't sound too bad. Your English doesn't sound too bad either even if you haven't finished the book. I think you could finish it if you went through the summer. I don't think you failed, whether you decide to continue homeschooling or if you decide to put him back into ps.

 

:iagree:

 

I think many of us suffer from Unrealistically High Expectations Syndrome when we first start homeschooling. Then, reality sets in and we look back and laugh at ourselves for having been so ambitious, and we realize that if we don't meet every last goal for the year, it's not the end of the world; there's always next year. :)

[mom2bee]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Don't be so hard on yourself. It sounds like you had a good first year. I think doing all the history is a lot, and you managed to do a lot of it. Also, working Algebra 1 sounds like a milestone to be proud of :).

 

At the 7th grade, your son is probably ready to start being more proactive in his education. Does he have a preference? Maybe you guys can approach next year as a HSing team! :)

 

Don't feel down, even if your son does go back to PS in the Fall, academics isn't the only--and rarely the biggest--benefit of HS.

[justamouse]

The first year always sucks. High expectations, reality hits, adjustment...

 

Yup, they suck.

 

 

:grouphug:

 

When you get to year 11 and you don't want to strangle them in February? Success!

[Dandelion]

I'm sorry you're feeling down and discouraged. :grouphug:

 

How does your son feel about what he's learned and accomplished this past year? When you just look at his skills and knowledge, is he on track?

 

I can relate to your frustration of not getting through a book or workbook in the time you had planned. With DS, I've had to separate those types of expectations from my evaluation of how he's doing academically. My expectations of what can be accomplished in a given amount of time are usually higher than what we actually accomplish. Despite that, DS is still on track. Based on what you've shared, I bet your DS probably is too. Just because everything didn't get done as planned, doesn't mean this past year was a failure.

 

:grouphug: to you as you decide about next year.

[Alte Veste Academy]

Well guys, I started this year with such high hopes and it is ending in a bunch of tears. I homeschooled my son this year, our first year doing this unless you count a half year of 1st grade bc of a relocation. He is a 7th grader. We are on track to finish Derek Owens Alg 1. We will have finished SOTW 1 and 2 ( I knew going in this was for younger grades but we need to fly through World History since he had had 0 exposure in PS). We have had a sporadic but demanding year of science. And we will be 3/4th through WWS.

 

I had wanted to finish WWS, book 3 and possible 4 of SOTW, do some French and grammar. Had 2 side workbooks on history that were hardly touched. Dreamed of doing some logic. None of the above panned out. I am not a good teacher, i do not make anything interesting or come to life. If he learned anything, it was in spite of me, not bc of me.

 

I am sad and just praying to finish the year. I am so sorry to be a debbie downer, but I can't say this to anyone in real lfe. They will just say they told me so :(

 

Aw, :grouphug:

 

I agree that it sounds like your expectations didn't match your experience, but it reads like a pretty respectable first year in the trenches. That said, it also sounds like you just didn't like it. I think if you didn't like it because you spent the whole time being too hard on yourself, there is hope because experience will make you better. If you didn't like it because it is not a fit for your personality, relationship, family, etc., that is fine. It is a good thing to know and you shouldn't beat yourself up for it. Either way, you dared to try! You are brave! The higher I go, the more scared I get, and I have been going since the beginning. Seventh grade is scary and you are brave! Whatever you decide to do next year, this year was not a loss!

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

Well guys, I started this year with such high hopes and it is ending in a bunch of tears. I homeschooled my son this year, our first year doing this unless you count a half year of 1st grade bc of a relocation. He is a 7th grader. We are on track to finish Derek Owens Alg 1. We will have finished SOTW 1 and 2 ( I knew going in this was for younger grades but we need to fly through World History since he had had 0 exposure in PS). We have had a sporadic but demanding year of science. And we will be 3/4th through WWS.

 

I had wanted to finish WWS, book 3 and possible 4 of SOTW, do some French and grammar. Had 2 side workbooks on history that were hardly touched. Dreamed of doing some logic. None of the above panned out. I am not a good teacher, i do not make anything interesting or come to life. If he learned anything, it was in spite of me, not bc of me.

 

I am sad and just praying to finish the year. I am so sorry to be a debbie downer, but I can't say this to anyone in real lfe. They will just say they told me so :(

 

 

Honestly, sounds like you tried to cram multiple years worth of education into one. FWIW, we made it through ONE round of SOTW and Algebra I by the end of 8th grade. Both of my kids' skills and knowledge have prepared them to do honors courses in public high school.

 

Really, I would be very happy with what you and your son have been able to accomplish this year. You should be proud of yourselves.

[Jen in NY]

What? We are supposed to finish the books....?

 

Seriously, if my gauge of how successful we had been in any year was if we 'stuck to the plan' or 'finished the books' we would have had exactly Zero out of 11 successful years. :)

 

I agree wholeheartedly with previous posters. The first year is a huge adjustment., and it sounds like you have already gotten a lot of great learning in. (7th grader finishing Alg 1? Good job, mom!) I love mom2bee's suggestion of making it a team effort... which will really, really pay off when ds is older.

 

Also, there were many years when we ditched something in the middle for something we liked better. This year it was my son's original science program... it's really ok to dump something that's not working. Is there anything the two of you would enjoy learning together? There are lots of teaching company courses you could watch and discuss.... or logic puzzles (www.logicpuzzles.com)..... anything that you are doing as a team, not teacher/student.

 

Best,

Jen

[Jen in NY]

When you get to year 11 and you don't want to strangle them in February? Success!

 

 

This is so true - and something I wish I had known much earlier!

:001_smile:

[SailorMom]

Middle school freaked me out! I can't imagine having to adjust to homeschooling while tackling 7th grade..... The transition in 1st and 2nd was quite hard enough, thank you! From what you wrote - sounds like academically you had a really good year. It may not have been perfect, or what you hoped for, but it wasn't bad. Remember - you were learning this year as well, and you had to learn on the job and on your feet. I do think that if you tried for another year you'd find next year far better. You can make school more interesting simply by having you son help pick what he'll learn... but - middle school just doesn't lend itself to that fun, exciting version of home schooling we all imagine. After about 6th grade it gets really tough to make it that way. That transition from the more fun hands on learning to the more academic instruction is tough even for public school kids. Science lends itself to fun with labs, and history movies can be a cool supplement - but how does one make algebra actually fun, ya know? If you think you even a tiny bit interested, don't give up yet. <<<hugs>>>

[SailorMom]

What? We are supposed to finish the books....?

 

Seriously, if my gauge of how successful we had been in any year was if we 'stuck to the plan' or 'finished the books' we would have had exactly Zero out of 11 successful years. :)

 

Best,

Jen

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

[catz]

What? We are supposed to finish the books....?

 

Seriously, if my gauge of how successful we had been in any year was if we 'stuck to the plan' or 'finished the books' we would have had exactly Zero out of 11 successful years. :)

 

 

Could not agree more. To me it sounds like the year was fine, but your expectations weren't really aligned with reality which is exactly how I felt after our first year. If PS feels like the right next move, I think that's fine. But I wouldn't do it because you didn't get enough done this year!

[Another Lynn]

It sounds to me like you had a very good year! You are on track to finish Algebra 1. YAY! (my 8th grader is doing pre-algebra and we abandoned a program we didn't like a month ago. we are using a bit of this and a bit of that to finish the year). You've covered a lot of ground in history - good job! You could cover SOTW 3 and 4 in 8th and be ready to do whatever sequence you choose for highschool. You've done a demanding year of science - for 7th grade, that's great! 3/4 through WWS is very good! That was another thing we tried and abandoned, LOL. I do not consider myself a natural teacher, or an exciting one. It has been several years since anything I suggested that related to school was received enthusiastically by my oldest. I agree with pp who said starting with a 7th grader your first year of homeschooling would definitely be TOUGH!! For subjects that didn't meet your expectations, dust yourself off and adjust your plan for next year. If you didn't get enough English done, figure out a better way to do it next year. If you're trying to find more excitement for him, but doubt it's going to come from you, find a couple subjects/activities to outsource. Rely on others or peer interaction to help satisfy what he needs.

 

I agree with Woolysocks.... do PS if that's what you think is best for him, but definitely not as a reflection of how you guys did this school year.

[Joyofsixreboot]

You accomplished more than PS did in 7 years. Why be down? It's a marathon not a sprint.

[Night Elf]

I agree with the others. I don't think your year sounds like a disaster at all. FWIW, you did more with your 7th grader than I did with my youngest as an 8th grader and she is now in 9th grade in public school and has 2 honors classes. I think you should lower your expectations. It sounds as if your expectations would be too high for public school even. You might also want to revisit why you originally decided to homeschool and see if that is still important to you.

[PachiSusan]

What? We are supposed to finish the books....?

 

This really made me guffaw. So true!!!!

 

OP - first of all - you need more hugs... :grouphug:

 

That said - you are not a failure at home education - I personally think you crammed too much in. Back off, and make a new plan. Not many people can honestly say their first year was A quality work. I know mine wasn't !LOL

[jhschool]

I think your year sounds pretty successful. You can catch up with a lot over the summer

or take an extra year of middle school.

But, whether you decide to keep homeschooling or send him to PS, I wish you Blessings

and Good Luck!

[Jilly]

What? We are supposed to finish the books....?

 

Seriously, if my gauge of how successful we had been in any year was if we 'stuck to the plan' or 'finished the books' we would have had exactly Zero out of 11 successful years. :)

 

I have been homeschooling for years, and there are very few books that the kids and I have actually finished. For your first year with a middle school boy it sounds like you have done great! Just finishing algebra is something to be proud of.

[melmichigan]

You will finish Algebra I, in 7th, math-check. With points for advanced class.

 

You finished SOTW 1&2, history-check. Remember these two books are used for Sonlight World History Part 1, and are a great beginning after PS.

 

You have covered science-check. Have you ever looked at what is actually covered in middle school science? Read, rinse, repeat.

 

You are 3/4 the way through WWS, writing-check. Some PS only have to finish 2/3 of a book for a credit.

 

Give yourself some credit! It sounds like you had a good first year.

[AimeeM]

Dude, you did way better than me (and it isn't even my first year!). Good job!

[Melissa in Australia]

In my first year of homeschooling I had to take my 5th grader right back to learning phonics , beginning grammar etc. the only thing he was on year level with was math. IIT was such a disappointment that at the end of the year we were only up to grade 4...and the nest year we were barely up to 6th... and so it went on. Until grade 11. In grade 11 my son went straight into uni courses, skipped grade 12 completely and he began his Aerospace degree.

What I found out , and now tell all new homeschoolers that I meet is that you have to look at the end goal. Where you want the child to be at 18 and work to achieve that goal. IT doesn't happen all in one year it takes time

[Lilaclady]

Like everyone else has said, I think you did quite well for first year. Most people take the first year to decompress after PS but you were able to achieve so much more.

 

You need to reevaluate your goals and keep in mind where you are starting from. Your son had zero knowledge of world history and has now almost finished 2 cycles in one year. Success.

I think you did a good job and you just need to make sure your goals align with what you need to accomplish not always what you hope to accomplish.

[Supertechmom]

Around here, the public school does about 4 weeks review, 4 weeks test prep, 2weeks testing, and have about 2 weeks of half days, parties, and other non academic actual teaching days. The rest of the time they set the goal to finish 70% of the book. This I know because a teacher friend was bemoaning how much math she would have to teach during the "review" period because they never covered those topics the year before because that teacher didn't meet the 70% goal. So i wouldn't get stuck on finishing books as a measure of successful homeschooling.

 

 

You covered a lot of material, especially for the first year after brick and mortar school. That really was a lot of work.

[runbikeswim]

Thank you everyone for the supportive words! I guess I had really big dreams when I decided to HS my son. If I said aloud some of the dreams I had, I guess even I have to laugh a little. I do think that I will become an afterschooler or a summer schooler, but I *really* don't think I'm a homeschooler. That makes me sad, but I think I need to accept my limitations.

 

I have also learned that I'm not very patient and this year has somewhat strained my relationship with my son. There is a 10% chance we'll try one more year, but I am going to be doing a lot of soul searching this summer. I think it depends on how the year finishes up.

 

I admire all of you ladies so much!!

[Lily_Grace]

I have an 8th grader.

 

First, :grouphug: . 7th grade is a hard year, in public school or out. The year spawned a new saying at our house. Rather than the usual house rules, we summed it up into "don't be stupid." That's been our mantra this year, too, (though slightly less so personally and more so when he looks at the wonderful examples in the news). It's also one of those years where "teaching" doesn't happen as much as in the early years, but "guiding" does. I look at my son's curriculum this year. He currently has 1 coursera class (mom not involved), a self-teaching math textbook, a self guiding writing textbook, 4 classes at a co-op and two that I actually sit and work with him on - history and science. It's enough to make a person feel unneeded, you know? He learns, not with me, but next to me.

Middle school is hard. I applaud anyone willing to jump into hs'ing during those years because the kids are always changing and so are our relationships. And that first year is always so, so difficult. Hormonal teen + new education system + new relationship with mom = a lot of time wanting to climb under the covers and hide. We come to the Land of Expectations and fall down a rabbit hole. The advice I wish someone had given me that first year was take a few weeks and ignore the drudgery. Do a unit study - preferably outside, preferably doing something with your hands and gaining a skill. Just take that time to go have fun again.

[DawnM]

Wait, I am supposed to not only homeschool my children, get them through Algebra 1 in 7th grade (we did NOT!) AND I am meant to have patience????

 

 

Nope, not happening here, and we are in year 10 of homeschooling.

 

I am not a patient person, and a little side note, I wasn't patient when I taught high school in the PS either. I was never mean or rude, but I didn't have a whole lot of patience for shenanigans. I still don't. Don't think all his teachers for Jr. High and High School do either, chances are, they get fed up and frustrated with kids too!

 

So, having no patience is not a reason to not HS anymore IMHO.

 

Dawn

 

Thank you everyone for the supportive words! I guess I had really big dreams when I decided to HS my son. If I said aloud some of the dreams I had, I guess even I have to laugh a little. I do think that I will become an afterschooler or a summer schooler, but I *really* don't think I'm a homeschooler. That makes me sad, but I think I need to accept my limitations.

 

I have also learned that I'm not very patient and this year has somewhat strained my relationship with my son. There is a 10% chance we'll try one more year, but I am going to be doing a lot of soul searching this summer. I think it depends on how the year finishes up.

 

I admire all of you ladies so much!!

 

[Parrothead]

It isn't a matter of finishing books. It is a matter of learning. Did your ds learn more at home than he would have in school? Did your relationship with each other suffer because of homeschooling or did it get better or even flourish?

[JessReplanted]

 

What? We are supposed to finish the books....?

 

 

:lol:

[SailorMom]

What is this word "patience" that you speak of and what does it mean??? :boxing_smiley:

[Tiramisu]

Thank you everyone for the supportive words! I guess I had really big dreams when I decided to HS my son. If I said aloud some of the dreams I had, I guess even I have to laugh a little. I do think that I will become an afterschooler or a summer schooler, but I *really* don't think I'm a homeschooler. That makes me sad, but I think I need to accept my limitations.

 

I have also learned that I'm not very patient and this year has somewhat strained my relationship with my son. There is a 10% chance we'll try one more year, but I am going to be doing a lot of soul searching this summer. I think it depends on how the year finishes up.

 

I admire all of you ladies so much!!

 

 

I put one of my four into school because our relationship was suffering, so I understand where your coming from. I know it was the best choice, though I still wish it could be different.

 

As part of your soul searching this summer, you may want to examine what your expectations were academically and what role that played in straining the relationship with your son.

 

I have another one whom I have put a lot of stress on because of my unrealistic expectations. It wasn't good for her and it wasn't good for our relationship. Like you, I started to hs her in 7th. Most of the problem was my overloading her. For us, another part of the problem was that she works slowly due to neurological glitches, despite being bright, and we hadn't discovered that yet. Homeschooling was definitely best for her, but I wish that I had learned earlier to adjust my expectations and had realized it's not how much you do as much has how well you do it so you get the skills you need for the future.

 

One thing that's important for you to know is that I can see in your description of this year that you have prioritized well. You are on track and "ahead" in math, an obvious area of strength. You also did particularly well in keeping on track in WWS, even if you don't think so. Math and writing are the two most important skill areas that kids will for their future education, and you've done those well. Great job!

[melmichigan]

A few more thoughts, would outside classes be helpful and accomplish the same goals you made when you decided to homeschool? Would that option be better for your family than PS? I can't stand in your shoes and say what is best for your family, only you can do that. Take a serious look at why you took your child out of PS. Middle school isn't easy, a lot of it isn't "fun". These are tough years, both for kids and parents.

 

I will be the first to stand up and say one of my DC can be extremely difficult to teach. I still believe that all the reasons we homeschool are best for my family so I have to find different ways to meet those goals. For this DD that means choosing to use quality online classes for Geometry, Introduction to Literature and Academic Writing, and Latin for eighth grade next year. This child responds better in those subjects when I am the Mom, the helper when she doesn't understand, and her cheerleader, but not her primary teacher. The great thing with homeschooling is having that option. The choice to do so wasn't any easy one.

 

After reflecting on your year, everything that all of us have said, and why you chose to homeschool your child, if you still decide that PS will be best for your family, then I wish you well as you move forward.