Do any if you wish you had been MORE rigorous in early grades?

[Aspasia]

Many of the "regrets" threads include comments about regretting early academics, people wishing they could go back and just take those early years a little more lightly. I wonder if anyone has done them lightly and later regretted it. Anyone?

 

FTR, I started out with complex plans for my k'er and have since scrapped pretty much all of it except for the 3 R's (and even those aren't too intense). I feel great about it, but I like to consider other experiences and ideas. :)

 

ETA: Just wanted to note that the typo in my title is driving me insane! I do it all the time when I'm on my iPad.

[Another Lynn]

I was more content focused than skill focused when my oldest was young. We had plenty of structure in our day (we weren't unschoolers); we did lots of read alouds; he read a lot; we tried Latin in 3rd/4th/5th grades. Looking back I wouldn't say we schooled lightly, but I regret not being more skill focused.

[PeterPan]

Hmm, I haven't seen the regret thread you're referring too. I haven't been around as long as some, but I've certainly been around a while. I don't think any of the friends that I made here on the boards when I started regret what we did. The key is just to keep it in proportion. One person's too much is another person's just right.

 

I'm very glad that when she was young we focused on the basics (done in creative, fun ways, yes!) and then poured over it as much gravy (content subjects) as we wanted. When my dd was young, you heard a lot of oh, don't worry, spelling kicks in later, blah blah. Well it doesn't for all kids, and plodding with some diligence over a course of years (while others put more time into other stuff that looked flashier) was the right move.

 

I haven't seen all your posts, but the idea of complex plans for K5 is interesting to ponder. I think simplicity definitely rules the day, mercy. Sometimes people get off because they get so EXCITED about all the cool things out there to do. You really have to get sane and put time estimates beside each thing so you have some sense of what it might take a day to accomplish your ideas and whether they're rational or need to be trimmed. Until about 4th grade, grade + 1 is a really wise way to go for your time estimates. Do this religiously. It will help you keep your balance and school with no regrets. Sometimes your time for skills and your time for gravy total too high, so you go back and scratch your head and figure out how to combine them better. That is, after all, the essence of WTM, that skills and content can merge if you let them. Sometimes you need to *disconnect* them. Maybe people have regrets for being too uptight and trying TOO HARD in all their subjects to constantly bring skills, skills, skills instead of just ENJOYING the subject? Writing it all out and assigning time estimates lets you see that. For years what I did was tally the writing in WTM for that grade, determine my daily goal, and then see how we were covering it. It gave me a way to say ENOUGH is enough.

 

I don't regret teaching my kid to read well, and I don't regret giving her books. I don't regret identifying her lack of a spelling gene and intervening early on that. But I had a kid who CRIED if I didn't give her piles of history books. Every kid is different. I would start with some sensible basics that fit typical child development (grade plus one as your max time required for the day) and then tweak what they do to fit the dc. A lot of what you could call school is actually recreation to some kids. My dd was horrified a while back to realize I had given her SCHOOL stuff as Christmas presents. You know to add stuff to the dc's schedule when the dc is finishing his work faster, has had a growth spurt, and is mentally unchallenged. It's just something you watch for. I never just start the year and have a plan. I tweak at the 1/2 birthday, because the dc has a growth spurt (physical and mental) then. They'll be ready to step it up. It's how you stay in sync with them and know to give them more when they're ready. It's not arbitrary but something you're watching for signs for. When the signs come, you up a little bit. However you're always keeping that time within the normal, physical, developmentally appropriate amount. That way you have no regrets.

[Cynful]

For me, regret isn't the correct description......more that I wished I had been more consistent throughout the early years.

[Aspasia]

For me, regret isn't the correct description......more that I wished I had been more consistent throughout the early years.

 

 

Could you expand on that? What do you mean by consistent? Like being sure to do school/certain subjects every day or...?

[katilac]

No regrets here.

 

Kinder work was optional, and early elementary days were very, very short. If an interesting field trip came up at the last minute, we said yes. They're in 7th & 9th now, and doing fine - and yes, I miss those days!

 

I do think what happens during free time matters a lot. Short, light school days tend to work great for kids who spend their free time in active, creative play, whether that's playing outside, building with blocks and legos, drawing, pretend play, or whatever. imo, kids whose free hours are crammed with screen time tend not to fare as well.

[katilac]

No regrets here.

 

Kinder work was optional, and early elementary days were very, very short. If an interesting field trip came up at the last minute, we said yes. They're in 7th & 9th now, and doing fine - and yes, I miss those days!

 

I do think what happens during free time matters a lot. Short, light school days tend to work great for kids who spend their free time in active, creative play, whether that's playing outside, building with blocks and legos, drawing, pretend play, or whatever. imo, kids whose free hours are crammed with screen time tend not to fare as well.

[PollyOR]

For me, regret isn't the correct description......more that I wished I had been more consistent throughout the early years.

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree: and it has come back to bite me!

 

 

I also want to add that a couple of my kids weren't developmentally mature enough for rigor in the early grades.

[Georgiana Daniels]

I'm all ears on this topic. Finding the right balance seems to be a never-ending process--or rather, a process that regularly requires fine-tuning.

 

Most of the time, I think it's fine to work to the child's attention span, but I do wonder if I give them too much free time and if I'll later regret it.

[PeterPan]

I'm all ears on this topic. Finding the right balance seems to be a never-ending process--or rather, a process that regularly requires fine-tuning.

 

Most of the time, I think it's fine to work to the child's attention span, but I do wonder if I give them too much free time and if I'll later regret it.

 

 

I'm not sure if you mean that literally, but I wouldn't say that attention span differences change how much time you spend. They change the increments and what you spend it on (might defer toward more interests). However in general the goal is still grade + 1 in the early years, with lots of time for reading and doing. Attention makes no difference. At the high school level, you're either counting units (time spent) or credits (material covered), so again you're still spending the time. It's not an issue of doing less. There are some unusual kids who do MORE than the norm, but kids with attention issues aren't doing less total work. The formality of it might vary, but the time is still being spent. If it's not, yeah there's an issue.

[SKL]

I wish I hadn't assumed that math would come easily, the way it did for all my blood relatives. My kids (adopted) apparently don't have the same gene. I should have been systematic about math from an earlier age. We are working on catching up now.

[nansk]

the goal is still grade + 1 in the early years

 

OhE, could you please elaborate on this? Do you mean working grade+1 hours a day?

[8filltheheart]

No regrets here. :)

 

 

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

I was one that did the rigerous thing in the early years and regretted it. This was for my boys. My dd is getting a more relaxed early education. I am not sure if I will regret it yet, it is too early to tell. However I have seen things so far that I like. Dd is done school early and uses that time to write, draw, be creative, enjoy the outdoors and read. She will study topics on her own. She views learning as fun. We are not behind where the boys were at this age, in fact, looking back at the boys work, dd is ahead of where they were.

[Soror]

I find it interesting that OhE says grade plus one when I've always read people do seat work equivalent to grade.

 

eta

I'd say we are relaxed here compared to some. We do work steadily on our skill work and everything else is gravy, as they say, until 3rd. We've dabbled in this and that but I feel more at peace now with not trying to do everything. Both of mine are doing the 3rs- and next year ds will be adding in History, Science and Religion. According to a lot of people in my area I'm a bit of an overachiever or something however.

 

Fwiw I have read threads of people regretting being too relaxed in the early years, those especially tend to be those who were really unschooly, not consistent with doing work or not progressing along with skill work. I have a friend who has really paid for her lack of consistency with her ds and things are just now starting to get better as she has more clear expectations and they work on them together. In the long run I think it will be fine but I think it would have saved a lot of hassle for both of them if she would have set little goals to work on a bit at a time instead of periodically expecting instant maturity and knowledge.

 

I think it likely depends on your personal inclination as well. Some people are naturally more drawn to relaxing while others might be more drawn to pushing too much. I'm a perfectionist myself but lucky for me I was more in the AP movement when the kids were small as I was drawn to unschooling, which helped to temper my own inclination. Having a son who was a bit of a late bloomer helped to weed that out as well. It would have been crushing to him and our relationship to push more academics earlier and if anything I regret the times I let fear take hold and tried to push him more. His progression, or lack thereof, worried dh mightily at first and I didn't want him to think he wasn't learning because I wasn't doing my job so we had a few showdowns. It is so absurd thinking back now. I don't know if I actually thought I could force him to learn or what but it didn't work at all. I'm glad those times were few and wish that there were none.

[laughing lioness]

Like others, with my olders- more intentional and focused on skill building. My youngers did tons of memory work and it shows. They are able to tackle more difficult things, MORE subjects, with more perserverence and better attitudes than my oldest did (1rst born is probably doubly gifted and threw FITS about anything that was even the slightest bit challenging- she was so precocious in one area that it seemed a "shame" to "make" her work too hard in others. - this is too simplistic, but that's the gist of it.)

[Hunter]

I should have worked harder on character issues. Diligence in particular. Thoroughness. Excellence.

 

:iagree:

 

I wish I had known about EXPLICIT handwriting instruction and spelling. I tried to teach handwriting and spelling, but didn't know how. It wasn't lack of rigor as much an ineffective teaching.

 

And I would have taught/reviewed grammar level skills during high school instead of teaching advanced topics that were understood, but not of the same importance as the grammar topics, that had not yet been mastered.

[PeterPan]

Grade + 1 is not only seat work. It's seat work plus anything assigned/expected. (reading, read alouds, projects)

 

I still count time btw to make sure I'm keeping that balance. Her weekly checklist has what is for her 4-5 hours of work, which leaves her several hours a day to pursue her own things. If I took her work up to 7 hours, there'd be no energy left for anything more, not with her.

[Wheres Toto]

For me, regret isn't the correct description......more that I wished I had been more consistent throughout the early years.

 

:iagree: :iagree: We started playing around with homeschooling when ds came out of early intervention at 4 years old. It was very relaxed and hit or miss. We'd do stuff when I felt like, skip it when I didn't. I never worried about it because he was always "advanced" and since the schools requested he not start kindergarten until he was 6 (late summer birthday, probable adhd) I had that extra buffer before I needed to "worry". It wasn't until this year that I really started getting more structured and stricter with getting a certain amount done. Part of that was dd is now old enough to do more/need less constant attention. Part of it was seeing how unwilling ds was getting and without any consistency, he didn't see why he should work today when he didn't have to yesterday. Part of it was seeing how much ds was learning even with me being half-***** and realizing how much more he could be doing.

 

We now have a routine that both kids know what to expect. While I still get the moans and groans and "forgetting" how to hold a pencil, it's not as frequent and they are both showing decent progress. I feel like the consistency will also make it easier for me to pick up any issues, whereas before it was unclear if they were having trouble because it was something they really didn't get it, or because we were taking such long gaps between lessons.

[Cynful]

Could you expand on that? What do you mean by consistent? Like being sure to do school/certain subjects every day or...?

 

Well, several things actually:

 

One, they were young, these looming high school years seemed so far away. So if we took a day off here or a day off there or even a week here or there, no big deal. And I don't really regret that; we had some GREAT Disney days here that made memories and those are definitely important. However, we should have done at least perhaps math, that day, or English, etc. It would have gotten us into the habit and the work ethic that I see I'm having to work on now with my teenagers. And anyone who has a teenager will tell you that that is NOT the age to start working on work ethics.

 

Second, my oldest has learning issues. I mistakenly thought, "Oh, if he can't do it now, no big deal; he'll understand it better next year anyway." Now, I don't believe in teaching beyond his comprehension but a steady dose of practice in what he does know would have really helped him, and it would have even helped my daughter who doesn't have any issues. Even with my daughter, I felt I had all the time in the world to work on everything; but time has a way of slipping and before you know it, you're thinking about high school and thinking about all the things you wished you'd worked on and probably will never get to and thinking about how to get all the important things in. If I had been more consistent in the early years, they might have more time for fun subjects or at least more that they could choose themselves.

 

I'm lucky, I have a do over. :) My youngest is only 2 and I can try this experiment all over again. Then I'll come back in 10-12 years and let you know if that consistency thing paid off. ;)

 

I will say, don't over-think it. You ARE going to make mistakes. You AREN'T going to do any permanent damage. It's ok to keep things simple; in fact, I highly recommend it.

 

Enjoy the ride,

[Cynful]

:iagree: :iagree: We started playing around with homeschooling when ds came out of early intervention at 4 years old. It was very relaxed and hit or miss. We'd do stuff when I felt like, skip it when I didn't. I never worried about it because he was always "advanced" and since the schools requested he not start kindergarten until he was 6 (late summer birthday, probable adhd) I had that extra buffer before I needed to "worry". It wasn't until this year that I really started getting more structured and stricter with getting a certain amount done. Part of that was dd is now old enough to do more/need less constant attention. Part of it was seeing how unwilling ds was getting and without any consistency, he didn't see why he should work today when he didn't have to yesterday. Part of it was seeing how much ds was learning even with me being half-***** and realizing how much more he could be doing.

 

We now have a routine that both kids know what to expect. While I still get the moans and groans and "forgetting" how to hold a pencil, it's not as frequent and they are both showing decent progress. I feel like the consistency will also make it easier for me to pick up any issues, whereas before it was unclear if they were having trouble because it was something they really didn't get it, or because we were taking such long gaps between lessons.

 

 

I can't agree more with this post!!!!!!!!

[Susan in KY]

I don't regret the basic approach I took with long range educational goals: reading fluently by the end of grade 2, excellence in writing by the end of middle school, requiring a fairly rigorous formal math program throughout, and then being relaxed with everything else. We read a lot of library books and did all other content off those books.

 

I do regret, as a pp mentioned, not being as consistent as I could have been. I also regret not having set hours for school when they were young. We got to it when we got to it, and if it took several days, I never bugged about it. As a result, my dc are pretty lackadaisical about when they get started, how long they take, and when they finish. My approach did nothing to train their concentration. I really wish I had insisted on good habits early, such as concentration and diligence—and paid a lot more attention to spelling. :)

[MrsMe]

Nope. Just better at creating good habits with chores, clean-up, etc.

[8filltheheart]

Reading these replies has been interesting.

 

While I keep my primary kids' days short, they are definitely structured and consistent---the 3 Rs and math every school day.

 

Not meaning to derail your thread, but one thing that come to my mind is a general observation I have made over the yrs--many times parents struggle with what is an appropriate work load for different grade levels. I have known families that have their kids doing full days from K and believe that their full days for the older grade levels is on-target for the upper grades. They gauge in terms of "length of academic day" as being the equivalent of "appropriate work load." The 2 are really not interchangeable at all.

 

Intensity of work, pace of input/output, level of independent synthesis/analysis.....those are key components that need to be adjusted at various grade levels. It seems obvious to me, but it is a pitfall I have seen many, many families not avoid. They plug along with the same sort of assignments that take about the same amt of time as when younger w/o actually upping appropriate academic expectations. (I've shared this before, but I'll share again b/c it still befuddles me.....when I was teaching a high school literature course, I had a parent get upset with me b/c I marked off on her student's papers for shift in POV and verb tense. She told me that it was unrealistic to expect students to write w/o making those mistakes. ??? Those are errors I don't allow in my elementary kids' writing.)

 

 

[violamama]

Can those who wish they had done more skills work expand on that? What exact skills and how do you wish you had worked on them?

 

 

[FriedClams]

I dont reget anything - but I'll share some things that have helped...

 

My plan has been - "every day". Math, reading - every day, M-F. Consistently doing the work. Day in. Day out. We do take days off - but my kids know now - M-F math, reading, history, science. It may be in the car going sonewhere fun - but ita going to happen. Bible is daily but not just a school thing for us.

 

We homeschool year round. When they were little (k-3) it helped with rhythm, expectation, character, something to do... I have never felt rushed or behind. Now that they're older we still do some things in the summer (mainly math) but add in camps and other stuff.

 

So for me - I haven't pushed rigor as much as the basics - every day...over and over. :-)

[TravelingChris]

No, I wasn't as loose with work as some are, but it never took all that long either. My oldest had the most work but he was capable of it and it turns out, he was the only one with no type of learning disability. All three were gifted academically but the next two had some learning issues too so I never gave them as much to do= what they had probably took as much time as what their brother had had but he was a much quicker worker.

[briansmama]

My oldest is only 9, but I do wish I'd done a few things differently from the beginning. He has always been very quick to grasp new concepts, learned to read easily and quickly, math was fun and no problem...basically, he's never really been challenged until this year in grade 3. Suddenly, math is accelerating and requires practice working with concepts that are not immediately available off the top of his head. Cursive requires a lot of practice for him.

 

So, I'd say it's a habit thing for us. I wish I would have started challenging him earlier. I was pretty devoted to the ideology of better late than early, and I still am in many ways (I don't believe in pushing early formal academics and am opposed to lots of seat time for children in the younger grades, and my 3rd grader's lessons never take more than 3 hours per day), but now I also see that this heavily depends on the child. Short lessons are valuable, yes, but they can be done with material that challenges the child every day.

 

So, I think if the child is engaged and challenged from 1st grade on they are being set up successfully.

[Another Lynn]

Can those who wish they had done more skills work expand on that? What exact skills and how do you wish you had worked on them?

 

 

Well, since I'm one who mentioned skills, I'll give it a shot.... the two skill areas I most wish I had worked harder are math and writing. For math, I had bought into the idea (sometimes noted as part of a Charlotte Mason philosophy) to keep lessons short. We were using a manipulative-based program with very little required work each day (or at least it was little work the way I implemented it, LOL). Later when I switched everyone to a different curriculum for math, I saw how much more we could have been doing. It would have been great if he had had the extra fact drill and the better foundation they received. Plus, his idea of how long math should take has been forever skewed, LOL. Secondly, writing. I should have made him do more handwriting (to strengthen writing stamina) and then later more written narrations and paragraphs, etc. On the handwriting, so many "people" said it was okay for boys to write later or not want to write as much; so I waited - and I accepted sloppy handwriting instead of making him do it over to an acceptable standard (wish I could get a do over on that too!). But that didn't do much to help him write, LOL! We eventually painfully crossed the bridge from oral narrations to written ones, but then we got stuck again. I just didn't know what a progression of increasing and improving writing could look like, so I kept telling myself it would work out later. I didn't know how to get us from written narrations to better structured paragraphs to well-structured essays. (To confuse the issue, CM narrations were usually long and included everything a student could remember, while WTM narrations were supposed to be short summaries. I wasn't sure which we should be doing, or why, or how that would lead us to essays!) Most of all, I didn't know it was okay to do some awkward writing along the way from point A to point B, so every time we hit bumps in the road they turned into major roadblocks we didn't know how to get around.

 

How I wish I had worked on them? I wish for math I had started him in CLE from the beginning and required every flashcard, every speed drill, every problem whether he complained or not. I wish I had used IEW for him early and persevered through any parts that felt "forced" to me. I was a writing snob and felt like IEW would produce formulaic, stilted writing. LOL. Now, I see how much my next 2 dc have learned doing a bit of formulaic and occasionally stilted writing <shrug> It won't always sound that way and they learned a ton!

[Mrs Twain]

Periodically I read threads or articles which talk about kids being behind in middle or high school. Math is one big area. Often I have read people remarking that they just realized that their 5th grader (or about that age) doesn't know his math facts and needs remediation. A child needs to be solid in basic arithmetic in order to advance to higher level math successfully. Not being consistent with math in early years can lead to problems later.

 

Another problem area is writing. Some homeschoolers write very well, but many others are inept at writing. Various factors are involved in learning to write well, and IMO it is wise to make a careful and systematic plan for teaching this subject.

 

Sometimes I hear people asking how to improve their children's reading comprehension. From the research, apparently a large part of reading comprehension has to do with having relevant background knowledge on a wide variety of subjects. Therefore teaching content is important even at younger grades. If a child is lacking content knowledge in the basic academic subjects, that is a difficult problem to fix.

 

Recently I have been reading some of Daniel Willingham's ideas in Why Don't Students Like School? which may become my new favorite education book (next to Hirsch's Knowledge Deficit). If you are a person who values evidence based practice (rather than touchy feely opinions about educational philosophy which abound in homeschool books and conventions), then you may like this book, too.

 

I haven't gotten far enough in homeschooling to know if I will regret anything, but I try to keep up with other people's regrets in order to attempt to avoid their mistakes. I favor a systematic, academic plan for school in both skills and content starting in Kindergarten. I also agree with others' thoughts posted above about increasing time allotment/academic expectations as the children get older. I like the grade+1 idea up to 4th, and I have not heard of that before.

[boscopup]

On the handwriting, so many "people" said it was okay for boys to write later or not want to write as much; so I waited - and I accepted sloppy handwriting instead of making him do it over to an acceptable standard (wish I could get a do over on that too!). But that didn't do much to help him write, LOL!

 

 

Yeah, I think it's easy to swing the pendulum to the other side away from public school lots-of-writing to scribe-everything. We have to be careful to have a balance and to make sure we're building writing stamina. I'm ok with how my oldest progressed, though I may have been able to get him writing a bit more a bit earlier. Probably not much earlier. We did have to let development catch up, but at the same time, we needed to build up hand muscles, and you don't build muscle by doing nothing. ;)

 

I've been pleasantly surprised at how well DS handled IEW SWI-A this year. We're taking 2 years to do it, and we're also still working through WWE2 and doing some R&S English writing assignments and general notebooking (draw a picture and write a couple sentences).

 

My younger kids will probably write a little more a little younger, but they also don't have any physical/developmental challenges when it comes to writing. I still won't do public school style writing, but I'll get them doing a little more within their various subjects to build up those hand muscles. I will just keep it gentle and increase gradually, as I've done with DS1 in the last couple years.

[TracyP]

 

Recently I have been reading some of Daniel Willingham's ideas in Why Don't Students Like School? <snip> If you are a person who values evidence based practice (rather than touchy feely opinions about educational philosophy which abound in homeschool books and conventions), then you may like this book, too.

I will second this book rec. I'm putting this on my summer reading list right now so I can reread.

 

 

 

So far, I have kept to short days (about 1 hour per grade). We are very consistent with the 3 R's, we have a lot of fun with content, and I make sure that my kids are adequately challenged and not "floating" in any subject. I feel like we have a very good balance. My oldest is 9 so it's too soon to tell if it worked, but they are doing very well right now, so I'm optimistic. :)

[laughing lioness]

Can those who wish they had done more skills work expand on that? What exact skills and how do you wish you had worked on them?

 

 

Memory work, grammar, math facts, geography, Latin

[speedmom4]

I wish I had been more consistent as well. I also wish that I hadn't curriculum hopped as much. If I ever have another child (highly unlikely) I would try to build a really solid foundation with phonics, handwriting, and basic math memorization. I feel that my oldest dd got a good foundation but she also was the type of kid who soaked up every little thing and was reading by four. With my next dd I curriculum hopped too much. I was always interested in the latest greatest curriculum. I think that hurt her academically and she was not like her sister. She needed consistency and drill. Then along came my boys. My oldest son began having seizures when he was getting ready for school work and it really disrupted his cognitive function. Thank goodness his seizures are well controlled now but they took a toll on all of us. Then my youngest child couldn't sit still to save his life. He was so unfocused and a daredevil. Thank goodness he is much more focused now and we have found a positive outlet for all that energy.

 

So basically my answer would be yes. If I could do it all over again I would be more consistent all the way around.

 

God Bless,

Elise in NC

[Butter]

Yes. I very much wish I had stuck with my original plan and been much more rigorous the first few years.

[Luckymama]

I wish I had starting homeschooling sooner than fifth grade. She was not challenged At All in a very good private school.

[Mouseketeer67]

No I don't regret the fact that we were consistantly rigorous in the early years. :)

[bobbeym]

I regret that we didn't start homeschooling sooner than we did. Things would have turned out much different if we'd started in 5th or 6th grade when the problems at school started, until waiting until high school.

[Wildiris]

Like others, with my olders- more intentional and focused on skill building. My youngers did tons of memory work and it shows. They are able to tackle more difficult things, MORE subjects, with more perserverence and better attitudes than my oldest did (1rst born is probably doubly gifted and threw FITS about anything that was even the slightest bit challenging- she was so precocious in one area that it seemed a "shame" to "make" her work too hard in others. - this is too simplistic, but that's the gist of it.)

 

This is an interesting perspective to take to heart.

 

So far as the early, early years go....for each kid it was different. The boys needed more outside time. The girls could sit and be engaged at an earlier age.

Daily structure is good for young children. Lunch is a noon; reading time is at 10:00 and 1:00 type of structure.

• Reading aloud daily about everything, not just stories. This will truly make for life long readers.
  
• Phonics-knowing letter sounds is so important in the beginning not just for reading but spelling too.
  
• Simple math basic shapes.
  
• Playing with art materials.
  

For my last child, my approach has been to build into rigor. My expectations increase with time, and I provide a lot of stepping stones to independence by modeling how I want her to write a journal entry for history or a poem for writing. I push math once the basic operations are understood. I use drill, test prep materials, I expect the kids to do well, and they do well which in turn make them feel good about themselves. Generally, I try to get kids working one grade level above their PS peers by 4th grade.

 

The teen years require a different strategy. Pushing or even gently nudging is not always the right path. A teens' desire may be for more academically challenging work, but their work ethic, no matter how well cultivate in the younger years, undermines them.

[Nan in Mass]

I don't regret doing not doing formal seatwork until 7yo. We did lots of reading, playing, mental math, finger math, puzzles, nature study, art, music, but we didn't have a "school day" and we didn't work on penmanship and spelling and math workbooks. After 7yo, I DO regret not doing more WTM basic skills (copywork, dictation, narration, outlining, grammar, vocab, math, scientific method). I didn't discover that I regretted this until I tried to teach my older teenagers study skills. Oops. As your children get older, you try to get them to do higher level academic tasks, things like taking notes, studying, discussing something other than what happened in literature, writing longer, more complex papers about things that aren't clearcut, solving word problems, designing their own experiments, searching for information. These will be very difficult if your student isn't naturally good at academics or you haven't worked on those WTM foundational skills. Take the time now, when the student is younger, to work on the foundational skills if you haven't done so earlier. They are worth it. Take the time to teach the higher level academic tasks, even though your student is so very slow at doing them at first. Don't just say, "Aak! This is taking too long. We need a different curriculum." Consider whether you really do need a different curriculum (there are an awful lot of bad ones out there), or whether it is just that the level of academic skills needed has gone up and you need to take the time now to develop them, even if it means falling short content-wise at the end of the year. And then KEEP checking to make sure your child can still do those skills at the new higher level as the child grows. (That was the other major mistake I made - narration was easy in the younger grades so I stopped working on it and then when we got to the more complex science and history, they were no longer able to do it.) Fortunately, TWTM is powerful stuff and the little we did do turned out to be enough that my children turned out ok. It just would have been much easier if we had done more in elementry school. You don't have to spend all day on them. Shorten the tasks until they take the right amount of time. I wrote a post awhile back about why you should teach TWTM foundational skills. A search should turn it up if you are interested.

 

Nan

 

[lauracolumbus]

I do regret our lack of rigor in our early years. I was in the middle of several major projects and didn't give homeschooling the attention it deserved. We did do math, Latin and language arts most days, but we also spent a good chunk of our time out of the house. We still do. In part I feel a tension for academic excellence and the need to have fun. My oldest returned to a very demanding school this year. Part of me regrets not having him do more high level work, but another part of me is thrilled that we had so much fun together. He is doing extremely well academically, but I feel like he wouldn't have to work so hard if I had done a better job of preparing him.

 

I still have a hard time juggling everything and often schooling seems the one of the first things to go. Fortunately, my kids pick up things very quickly and we don't need to spend a lot of time on any subject.

 

I also justified our lack of science study on the ideas of the Latin Centered Curriculum. I greatly regret that (not the curriculum's fault--all mine) . I think science and writing are the two biggest areas that I should have spent more time on.

 

Laura