Moms, what do you do for fun with your teen son, to connect?

[Sherri in MI]

My son is 14 & he still talks to me, but now that he is older, I need more ideas for what to do with him for fun. When he was younger we read, played board games, had tickle fights, went on walks together. I have to say I don't have many ideas.

 

He still likes to chat (during school time of course) & he likes to horse around, but now that he's getting big, I'm doing that less and less, or I'm changing our style. Instead of wrestling, we have towel fights or sock fights. But I need other ideas. He doesn't really initiate except with talking or horsing around, so I need to make suggestions.

 

He's also at that stage where he doesn't like anything. Complains about everything.

 

I find I'm not spending much non-school time with him & I'd like to make a point of changing that.

[G5052]

Mine loves anything military, so we go to air shows, tank shows, etc. etc. DH is disabled and can't do that sort of thing.

 

Not my cuppa tea, but he knows that I love him and do it because of that.

[elegantlion]

Ds and I are watching Dr. Who together right now. We still have Nerf wars, we leave the nerf guns in the classroom. He helps me with dinner most every night. We goof around together a lot, but we have a similar sense of humor. He doesn't have facebook, so I show him stupid stuff on there. I try to make sure we connect each day in some way that doesn't have to do with school. *I* could talk about school all day. He's also very opinionated about stuff, so I find myself asking questions and listening without judgment.

 

This year we've also moved into more "when you move out/grow up/go to college" type discussions. Making sure he knows laundry, dishes, we'll be doing household management this summer, bills, taxes, home maintenance, car maintenance type of stuff.

[JudoMom]

What about doing a martial art together?

[TheApprentice]

My older ds is 15 and he likes to talk to me about what he's interested in, so I show an interest as well; this includes: watching him play his xbox games, miinecraft (he actually asks me to come watch, but only if he is offline without his friends), youtube videos he has found that he wants me to see. We also weight train together, walk the dogs rough house a bit (he's getting stronger). Right before bed, we usually have our chats with his younger two brothers already in bed. I think he looks forward to them. He hasn't really rebelled against me as some teens do. We have the same sense of humor and we agree on a plethora of topics. :thumbup1:

[Catwoman]

Can you play video games with him?

[*********]

I'm :bigear: , because I have a 16 year old stepson. Now, I know I can always cook for him, LOL, and he does like to cook, too. So we can do that together. But other than that, we've not got a lot of similar interests. The best I can do is to actually listen to him while he talks to me about video games/computers/dubstep/whatever is important to him. I think for him, that's the main thing. He just wants to know that I'll listen to him, even if I don't understand what he's saying. :D He's such a sweet boy.

[AK_Mom4]

For DS17 - games - both video and board. Music discussions. Movies (we like the same type). In the summer, we run and play Frolf outside, or go to the gym if the weather is bad.

[kewb]

My 15 year old son still likes me to tuck him in most nights. It is when we spend a little time just talking about whatever he wants in regards to life, problems, stuff in general. I think my friends would be horrified if they knew I still tucked my kids in at night or maybe their friends would be horrified but we like the time to connect. My dd (12) still loves that time, too.

[Jane in NC]

Another vote for games--board and card games in our case.

 

At that age, my son and I spent time in the car together since he was playing hockey. We would sometimes listen to books on CD that were out of my genre reading--things like Terry Prachett or the Bartimaeus series. He really enjoyed sharing his favorite books with me.

 

We would also cook and bake together.

 

I am chuckling at the Nerf wars. I picked up a Nerf ping pong set at a charity shop. When the weather was bad and tension needed to be broken, our dining room table became the location for the ping pong wars. I wonder if I still have this set. I suspect someone here could use this. Hmmm....

[MooCow]

We had dates. Lunch out, shopping, movies, etc.

[babs]

My son loves to watch comedians on YouTube...we watched Jim Gafferty tonight. It was clean - a bit of adult humor about childbirth...but I had previewed it so skipped those parts. Brian Regan is good too. He (ds) laughs so hard -sooo fun to laugh with him. He also still likes to go out to eat with me and dh. I try to listen whenever he has time...he is a busy 16 yo. And he still likes to tell me his plans...I am so enjoying this older stage. Oh, we go to movies occasionally. Also play golf with him (dh does this.)

[Joanne]

With all the trouble my family has been through, my boys (14 and 18 in 2 weeks) have remained close to me and affectionate.

 

I do "stay ups" with them. We stay up LATE together, watching stupid tv, horror movies or That 70's Show. We eat junk food, chat, and bond. We will, when budget allows, go out to a LATE breakfast.

 

We text.

 

I make it a point to know and enjoy their music.

[Lucy in Australia]

I started taking each boy out for meal, just him & me, no other family members allowed. (We were aiming for once a month, but it happens when it happens) The other time my oldest talks to me is when we're driving together, again just him & me. We've started doing even more of that since he's started driving.

[swellmomma]

for ds14 the number 1 for him is still wrestling. That rough housing, that allows him physical contact without it being mushy. He also likes to arm wrestle etc. As for hanging out, for him that would be video games though he thinks I am not a good opponent as I suck so badly and scream lots, but it is his thing so I try.

[Heather in Neverland]

Our favorite thing to do is go to Starbucks and drink chai tea lattes and talk about life and funny things. We do this about once a week. We also go to the movies together or watch certain TV shows that no one else in the family likes but us.

[Melissa in Australia]

I sometimes play computer games with them. At the moment we play Civilization by LAN between all our computers. Other games we have played include Titan Quest.

My DH takes them surfing/ boogie boarding, bush walking, camping, etc. etc.

[Pippen]

Late night hang out--I swear one has radar tuned to the moment I'm ready to fall asleep

Bookstore cafe

Candy making

Star Wars/Doctor Who/Whatever

Stop and listen to the youtube videos they're dying to show you (brace yourself, it may be painful)

[Donna]

Kill zombies....play Call of Duty. :laugh:

Talk to them during dinner, ask about their day, help with homework when asked

[Night Elf]

Go out to lunch.

Play video games.

Watch Mythbusters.

:)

[Scarlett]

I'm :bigear: , because I have a 16 year old stepson. Now, I know I can always cook for him, LOL, and he does like to cook, too. So we can do that together. But other than that, we've not got a lot of similar interests. The best I can do is to actually listen to him while he talks to me about video games/computers/dubstep/whatever is important to him. I think for him, that's the main thing. He just wants to know that I'll listen to him, even if I don't understand what he's saying. :D He's such a sweet boy.

 

 

I listen to ds13 talk about stuff too that I don't really understand.

[TammyinTN]

Lunch out together once a week....best hour and a half I've ever spent! Talking, laughing and having fun.

[Alessandra]

Meet him where he is, even if it means watching movies or playing video games that are not precisely what you would have chosen. Or even just watch the games -- my ds likes car chase apps on the iPad and is happy to have me watch him get points. Often, I ask him to try something new and we both like it -- Fawlty Towers, for example. I look for daily free apps on the iPad and get them.

 

Look out for books he might like, even if they are not great books. Someone here recommended Maze Runner -- I read several chapters aloud from Amazon 'look inside.'It was a nice half hour or so.

 

Food. Teenaged boys like to eat. I take my son to shorter grocery runs and he picks out some special treats for himself. I don't allow junk food, but ds has favorite cheeses, fruit, crackers. Going out for a food -- snack or meal. Bedtime snack -- find the good leftovers, cook something like grilled cheese sandwich (or watch him cook it), sit and talk.

 

Get interested in something your ds loves. I could tell you details about every chess tournament in our area, lol. Ds will happily spend hours with me looking up and talking about chess.

 

Of course, there are hikes and museum trips, but the suggestions above are for when kids are resistant to family time or to your choices.

 

ETA Current events have also been a meeting ground. I often read/share about things ds might be interested in -- for example, ER visits due to kids drinking caffeine energy drinks. Ds is interested in certain countries, issues, so we follow specific news items. It's good for connecting, because there is always something to get mad at, lol.

[unsinkable]

With all the trouble my family has been through, my boys (14 and 18 in 2 weeks) have remained close to me and affectionate.

 

I do "stay ups" with them. We stay up LATE together, watching stupid tv, horror movies or That 70's Show. We eat junk food, chat, and bond. We will, when budget allows, go out to a LATE breakfast.

 

We text.

 

I make it a point to know and enjoy their music.

 

Great advice...same for us except for the stay-ups! But those sound like fun.

 

Music is a big connection for both my boys and I. When we go somewhere, they mostly pick the music.

 

I also take my guitar player guy to as many free concerts as we can. There are tons in the summer. We were going to hit up some Irish bands this weekend but he got sick.

 

For my older son, we talk talk talk. Usually on car rides. We go out to lunches, too.

[besroma]

My son loves that I ride rollercoasters with him when we go to amusement parks.

 

He also enjoys listening to audiobooks together and cooking together. I let him choose anything he wants to make, and work with him in the kitchen while talking.

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

Ds and I:

read the same books

play video games

hike

archery

I have him help in the kitchen...usually cutting the veggies (he loves knives)

have nerf gun fights

fence (well, he fences and I flail about trying not to get hit)

pick on each other

get him involved in one of my projects

bicker in a fun way

[JuanitaL]

My son loves to watch comedians on YouTube...we watched Jim Gafferty tonight. It was clean - a bit of adult humor about childbirth...but I had previewed it so skipped those parts. Brian Regan is good too. He (ds) laughs so hard -sooo fun to laugh with him.

This sounds just like my 15 y/o. He's constantly coming up to me - "Mom! you've got to watch this! It's soooo funny!" When we do science, I have the laptop open to youtube so I can quickly search for whatever topic we're reading about - this often sparks some memory of mine and we will take a rabbit trail into 80's music videos. They love to laugh at and sing that stuff with me. Because we're together most of the day, I guess I just do life for fun with my teen boys. When we cover something in our studies - like the cell in Biology, and Dante's Inferno in lit. - and my 15 y/o gets his guitar and starts parodying what we've just covered to the tune of Crazy Train or some Bon Jovi song - that's a lot of fun. May be weird - but they like to dance with me in the kitchen. I tried to do an MC Hammer thing not so long ago, and I thought they were going to pee their pants they were laughing so hard. It does tend to slow things down schoolwise sometimes, but that's ok with me. I'm trying to be interested in everything they do (not always easy), involved in as much as they want me to be (Dad does everything scout related), and controlling less and less of what they do (also not always easy).

[QueenCat]

Go out to eat, one-on-one. I manage to do this about once a month with one son, twice with another. It's not about being "fair", it's just the way the schedules work. As a family, we watch "their" movies sometimes, play board games. One likes to go to the symphony, so we'll do that a couple of times a year.