busymama7 Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 My son runs at the local high school both cross country and track. He is well respected and it has gone very well as homeshoolers. My daughter decided to start attending preseason practices with him for track this spring. She is a freshman and I encouraged her to do track for her PE credit and maybe she would like it. She has attended a few practices but does not want to return due to the amount if swearing coming out of the coaches m Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 Oops! I posted on my phone by accident. Anyways that should say "mouth" This is a new coach and the coach my son has been running for does not due this. According to both my children it is excessive and gratuitous. She is very disturbed by it and doesn't want to be around it. For the record we do not swear and have taught them not to. We avoid media with it and such and as she has always been homeschooled she just hasn't heard it much. I know she has to learn to ignore it but I don't know if we should make her keep doing track. This really irritates me that this is acceptable in any way but as homeschoolers we really don't want to complain and rock the boat :-( Thanks for any thoughts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 She's in high school? I'd let it go. In my mind, it's not worth the hassle it would cause to try to get him to stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Well, you asked how I'd respond, and this is what I'd do: "Dd, I'm so sorry that you're finding the language disturbing. You were not raised with coarse language, and I can understand that it's difficult for you to overlook. At the same time, you have a choice to make. It's worthwhile to consider this as both a philosophical and practical issue, because unfortunately, you will probably be faced with choices like this throughout your adult life. If there's any way you think I can help you make this choice, I'd be glad to talk it over with you." Then, in a day or two, I'd ask what she decided, and help her with the procedure to withdraw, if that's what she'd decided. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKshanmar Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I would bring this complaint directly to the coach first... maybe he doesn't realize how much he is doing it? (doubtful benefit of the doubt.) Depending on his reaction, I would then go to the activities director or principal. It is unacceptable behavior. If he isn't actually a teacher, as coaches often aren't, he is probably used to a different setting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 She's in high school? I'd let it go. In my mind, it's not worth the hassle it would cause to try to get him to stop. I don't plan to complain to the powers that be but i was pondering what to do about letting her withdraw or not. I guess I wonder if we have sheltered her too much :-) she has several friends raised in the same church with the same belief system but they have been in public school their whole life and it doesn't phase them or at least they are able to ignore it. I just don't know if we are serving her well by not forcing her to learn to deal with it/ignore it. The fact that I am angry the coach is doing this nd getting away with it is beside the point :-( although if my kids weren't homeschooled I think I would be raising a ruckus! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 I would bring this complaint directly to the coach first... maybe he doesn't realize how much he is doing it? (doubtful benefit of the doubt.) Depending on his reaction, I would then go to the activities director or principal. It is unacceptable behavior. If he isn't actually a teacher, as coaches often aren't, he is probably used to a different setting. I agree but as they have been so great to work with as homeschoolers and my son is doing so well I just don't know if its worth risking it for *him.* He is looking at scholarships etc. I am considering having him just mention to the other coach why his sister isn't coming back as he was excited to have her join them. He is not the one doing the swearing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 If it bothers your daughter then there is nothing wrong with your daughter approaching the coach and letting him know it bothers her. He may not realize he is swearing quite so much. This is your daughters issue and one she needs to address before any parental involvement. Obvously, assist her with what to say and/or role playing beforehand if necessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 The schools I've been associated with (like the one I taught at for four years) had fantastic athletic directors. They would have wanted to know and they would address it with the coach (they were the official supervisors for all coaches). It's not appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocolateReignRemix Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 What type of swearing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 My son runs at the local high school both cross country and track. He is well respected and it has gone very well as homeshoolers. My daughter decided to start attending preseason practices with him for track this spring. She is a freshman and I encouraged her to do track for her PE credit and maybe she would like it. She has attended a few practices but does not want to return due to the amount if swearing coming out of the coaches m Well, find out from the school if there is a policy against it. If there isn't, then you may either appeal for a policy on it, your daughter can deal with it, or she can quit. We had certain teachers in my highschool, especially coaches, that swore...a lot! In fact, one had no problem wasting English class on discussions of the Kuma Sutra with the boys (while us girls just sat there a bit stunned...he was the shop teacher also and it was worse in shop where there could be stick figures on the board). btw, I don't agree with it happening, find it offensive, etc. But unfortunately, this is not uncommon. Her options are limited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXBeth Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 If it bothers your daughter then there is nothing wrong with your daighter approaching the coach and letting him know it bothers her. He may not realize he is swearing quite so much. This is your daughters issue and one she needs to address before any parental involvement. Obvously, assist her with what to say and/or role playing beforehand if necessary. This!! I was the teen who was bothered by swearing, and really, saying something generally works quite well, even with people in authority. I recommend using a little humor, for example: coach:$@&! DD (covering ears): Ack! Virgin ears over here! If she did that a couple of times and he didn't apologize and/or tone it down, it would be time for a more serious conversation. If that didn't work, then she would have to choose whether to leave the team, go over his head, or just suck it up and deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 What type of swearing? everything including the f-word and not an occasional angry outburst or what-not. Just part of speech. All the time. Im not sure if it is directly aimed at the kids or not. I would have to ask them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 If it bothers your daughter then there is nothing wrong with your daughter approaching the coach and letting him know it bothers her. He may not realize he is swearing quite so much. This is your daughters issue and one she needs to address before any parental involvement. Obvously, assist her with what to say and/or role playing beforehand if necessary. This is really good advice. thanks. Her option would just be to quit going. She isnt going to approach him about it or address it. I just feel weird about letting her quit for this reason. Like she cant avoid it her whole life and while i am THRILLED that it bothers her so much(it didnt bother be despite being raised the same way because I was numb to it due to school. Now that I am home, dont work and dont hear it, it bothers me, but not as a teen) I dont know that avoidance is the best solution. Im torn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Well, you asked how I'd respond, and this is what I'd do: "Dd, I'm so sorry that you're finding the language disturbing. You were not raised with coarse language, and I can understand that it's difficult for you to overlook. At the same time, you have a choice to make. It's worthwhile to consider this as both a philosophical and practical issue, because unfortunately, you will probably be faced with choices like this throughout your adult life. If there's any way you think I can help you make this choice, I'd be glad to talk it over with you." Then, in a day or two, I'd ask what she decided, and help her with the procedure to withdraw, if that's what she'd decided. Swearing is not ideal, but it's not a hill to die on. In this setting, the coach is not required to change his language, either. Educate your child that this is a cultural difference and does not necessarily represent the state of that person's heart (though it might). I would take a much more in-depth look at how this person behaves and treats people and if all is well there outside of the language, then leave it alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 What type of swearing? That's what I was wondering.... There are many words some consider "swearing" that others don't.... And then others that most people consider swearing.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I'm a super-liberal person, and swearing does not bother me personally, but I'm going to disagree with the majority here. I have taught in several high schools and swearing by the staff would have been frowned upon and seen as requiring correction. I get that in the "old days", the coaching staff might have sworn like drill sergeants, but it is unlikely to be a defensible practice today. It's unprofessional in any job. This coach is new. I would want DD to approach him first, but since she won't, I would shoot an email to the Athletic Director. You don't have anything to lose, since she wants to quit anyway. I believe you will get a positive response. The coach needs the feedback to further develop his coaching skills. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Is he swearing *at* the athletes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 High School coaches swear. My ds (who swears, and hears it daily :leaving: ) even comented on it and was bothered by it as a freshman. If she doesn't want to speak up, then I would tell her it's something she needs to get used to. As an adult, she is going to encounter it often, and she can either speak up, or get used to it now. It couldn't hurt to talk to him, and ask him to tone it down a bit either. Just be nice when you ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocolateReignRemix Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I'm a super-liberal person, and swearing does not bother me personally, but I'm going to disagree with the majority here. I have taught in several high schools and swearing by the staff would have been frowned upon and seen as requiring correction. I get that in the "old days", the coaching staff might have sworn like drill sergeants, but it is unlikely to be a defensible practice today. It's unprofessional in any job. This coach is new. I would want DD to approach him first, but since she won't, I would shoot an email to the Athletic Director. You don't have anything to lose, since she wants to quit anyway. I believe you will get a positive response. The coach needs the feedback to further develop his coaching skills. Good luck. It is still fairly accepted in high school athletics. Typically it is less accepted in front of a crowd than in practice, but it is what it is. Some coaches use it for emphasis, some for shock value, and some to demean. I would have an issue if my child was being demeaned whether or not swearing was involved. I do see a difference between "move your @ss" and "you are an @******". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 That's what I was wondering.... There are many words some consider "swearing" that others don't.... And then others that most people consider swearing.... good question. some people consider words like fart, crap, suck and shut up to be swearing. :leaving: i've met them. :leaving: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 This is NoT ok for a high school teacher to be doing, period. Not ok. However, I probably wouldn't say anything because you are the homeschooler... I know, but it is just different. I'd probably just pull my kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acablue Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 In my mind, you really have three options: 1. One of your kids could speak directly to the coach. I've coached high school sports on and off for years (as a volunteer, not a teacher) and would have a lot of respect for your son if he spoke up for his younger sister. From the information you've given, it would make more sense to go to the root of the problem than to the athletic director. 2. Encourage your daughter to ignore his language, unless he's making derogatory comments or bullying players. If he's doing either of these, you need to go over his head. 3. Let her quit. Does she enjoy track? Is she talented? Is this the only sport she can participate in? If so, I'd have a hard time letting her quit before trying #1. Without knowing your daughter, it's hard to say what I would do in your situation, but as a coach, I would prefer to have my mistakes pointed out to me than to have players quit the team without an explanation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 If you would be okay with your dd distancing herself from such language when she is an adult. Why would you force her to stay as a child? I find it crass and juvenile when people think the only adjectives are curse words. I do swear on occasion so I'm not totally against it. But if I were in a situation where a person could not complete a sentence without swearing I'd walk away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 good question. some people consider words like fart, crap, suck and shut up to be swearing. :leaving: i've met them. :leaving: I answered this up thread. Includes f word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 If you would be okay with your dd distancing herself from such language when she is an adult. Why would you force her to stay as a child? This^^^ is the primary reason in thinking its ok to let her quit. My son has said he plans to handle it(he's that kind if kid!). And besides that, she doesn't like it anyways. She only tried a few practices so there's a part if me that thinks she didn't give it a good enough try. But she doesn't actually want to run and would prefer doing something else anyways. I am not going to say anything at this point although it sounds like my son will :-). We will take a wait and see approach with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I answered this up thread. Includes f word. well, that is one of the big ones. if she was playing hockey, i'd say, uh...good luck. most of the hockey coaches i know use that with out even realizing it. i'm not sure what to say. in our family, it's not something we'd worry about but i understand it's not the same for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I say swear words. I have no problem with adults saying swear words. I try not to say them around any kids, and I wouldn't want my kids to be around people who swear like sailors. In high school, I'd be okay with a coach occasionally swearing. But, it sounds like it's very uncomfortable to be around him. It would be ideal if your daughter could address it with him directly, but if not, I'd let her drop out. I certainly wouldn't want to be around someone that made me feel that uncomfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I think I tend to be one of the morally slacker people in this board (sort of kidding) and I think swearing at your job around kids is entirely inappropriate. Entirely. I am really surprised others think otherwise. Whatever else you do, whether dd stays or quits, I would write a calm and factual email telling him how you and your daughter feel about the swearing. Just so he knows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I'd call the school Athletic Director. These adults should be role models, especially when in after school activities. This is not an environment to swear in. I get not wanting to approach the coach directly....kinda awkward for future encounters, but I would call the AD and ask what the policy is on that. The thing is, although these are teachers/coaches, they are PEOPLE too and most who have chosen to be in this profession, do it for the love of being around these children. Some do it as a job, coach for the extra bit of $ they may get etc. AD's sent the tone for their whole staff. If the AD is not wanting their staff to behave in this way, the AD may talk to the coach and ask them to tone it down. FWIW, my son's school AD is a Christian, self-announced at a parent's meeting, and the Football coach announced at the parent's meeting that he does not swear or say anything to the players that he would not want them saying to him. It's an attitude, a way to behave, that matters when around other humans. I am not against swearing in general, but one needs to know when it's inappropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 If she is looking for a way to let him know how she feels, I suggest something like, "Easy Coach!" with a smile and a cringe. It may work. He may even approach her about it to see if she's serious. I would encourage her to be honest and say, "It distracts me because you do it so much." I'd have her focus on the quantity part. Then it isn't a condemnation of him doing it at all, but the excessiveness of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 i think there is a difference between swearing around high schoolers and swearing at high schoolers and just using the words unthinkingly. if a hockey coach tells my kid "you played f-in' awesome!" it isn't an issue with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 everything including the f-word and not an occasional angry outburst or what-not. Just part of speech. All the time. Im not sure if it is directly aimed at the kids or not. I would have to ask them. My answer is different depending on if he is using colorful language, or if he is swearing AT the kids. Swearing AT the kids, angrily, would not be ok with me, and I'd pull her. If he is just using it every other word, without meaning anything by it, I wouldn't worry about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 i think there is a difference between swearing around high schoolers and swearing at high schoolers and just using the words unthinkingly. if a hockey coach tells my kid "you played f-in' awesome!" it isn't an issue with me. I would have a major huge massive problem with that. My kids are in high school and have had coaches for many years, and I have never heard a coach say anything remotely like that. Maybe the south is different? I almost never hear men my age swear, though I hear it from my adult son and his friends a little. Other than tv, though, I don't think I literally ever hear men say the f word. Anyway, I would tell him. I just think we are all adults and it is ok to tell an adult how something affects you. Doesn't mean he has to change or care how I feel. I like directness. I wouldn't normally contact his boss, because I like to handle things one on one where possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Share Posted January 8, 2013 My answer is different depending on if he is using colorful language, or if he is swearing AT the kids. Swearing AT the kids, angrily, would not be ok with me, and I'd pull her. If he is just using it every other word, without meaning anything by it, I wouldn't worry about it. I agree that swearing at them is different and I'm unclear about exactly what it is. BUT this isn't about me and what im worrying about. I have not and will not pull my son nor would I pull my daughter for this reason. It is HER that wants to quit for primarily this reason but she also wasn't really liking running. The question I had was whether it would be better for her in the long run to get more desensitized to the language. The issue if whether the coach should be doing it or if it is wrong or if I should approach the coach or she should etc is missing the point of what I'm struggling with. I guess I haven't been clear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readinmom Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 A teacher or coach ethically should not swear around their students/athletes at all. That being said, it does happen. My oldest son was very fortunate to have his dad as his primary coach. Dh wouldn't say those words if he had a mouthful of it. Other coaches did. Once he started playing in high school, though, it was a whole different story. The ps varsity coach belittled, swore, humiliated, etc. If you wanted to play, you ignored it. Second ds did not like swearing either. He played Pop Warner football when he was 8. At the end of one of the practices, the coach asked if anyone had anything to say. Ds raised his hand and said he would appreciate it if he wouldn't use foul language when he coached them. Ds never started again. He got his required plays and that was it for the season. If your dc are bothered by it, they have the right to say so. If the coach is mature enough, he should temper his language and not be retalitory. I think one of the best things is for your dc to talk with him one on one, not call him out in front of the team. It could very well be that he does not even realize how much he is swearing. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 The question I had was whether it would be better for her in the long run to get more desensitized to the language. The issue if whether the coach should be doing it or if it is wrong or if I should approach the coach or she should etc is missing the point of what I'm struggling with. I guess I haven't been clear. Is swearing by the coach inappropriate? Yeah, I think most people would agree that it is. Would it be beneficial for your dd to be less sensitive around it? Most likely. I'm not saying she has to start cursing like a sailor, but if hearing it bothers her to the point that she feels she has to quit an activity because she simply cannot tolerate it, I think it would be good to remind her that some people talk like that, and it isn't meant to personally offend her. For most people who do it, it's a verbal tic, like saying, "Omg, like..." with teens. ;) If you want to get really nerdy about it, it's fun to look up the etymology of swear words. One of my linguistics professors in college told us that some of them were just common Old English words that people started to consider crude after the Norman Invasion, when French was in vogue. Sh** is one example of that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I would have a major huge massive problem with that. My kids are in high school and have had coaches for many years, and I have never heard a coach say anything remotely like that. Maybe the south is different? I almost never hear men my age swear, though I hear it from my adult son and his friends a little. Other than tv, though, I don't think I literally ever hear men say the f word. Anyway, I would tell him. I just think we are all adults and it is ok to tell an adult how something affects you. Doesn't mean he has to change or care how I feel. I like directness. I wouldn't normally contact his boss, because I like to handle things one on one where possible. I grew up in a bar, so I've heard men and women swear as some of my first memories. So we're really coming at this from different places. I can totally understand if parents don't think teachers and/or coaches shouldn't swear in front of students/athletes, though, if it matters to you...the general you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I think saying the f word constantly on the job around kids is indicative of the potential for other character issues. How 'klassy.' I would not be amused. I have noticed that playing, watching or being otherwise involved in sports seems to give some people license to be their worst selves in some cases. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I think saying the f word constantly on the job around kids is indicative of the potential for other character issues. How 'klassy.' I would not be amused. I have noticed that playing, watching or being otherwise involved in sports seems to give some people license to be their worst selves in some cases. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Is swearing by the coach inappropriate? Yeah, I think most people would agree that it is. Would it be beneficial for your dd to be less sensitive around it? Most likely. I'm not saying she has to start cursing like a sailor, but if hearing it bothers her to the point that she feels she has to quit an activity because she simply cannot tolerate it, I think it would be good to remind her that some people talk like that, and it isn't meant to personally offend her. For most people who do it, it's a verbal tic, like saying, "Omg, like..." with teens. ;) If you want to get really nerdy about it, it's fun to look up the etymology of swear words. One of my linguistics professors in college told us that some of them were just common Old English words that people started to consider crude after the Norman Invasion, when French was in vogue. Sh** is one example of that. :agree: When we moved to PA, I had to teach my children certain words and their proper contexts, because a good portion of Anabaptists still used the words within their original and proper context. My kids only knew that these words were swearing and never to be used and I didn't want them to think that about neighbours that were legitimately using the words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 It's a good lesson in coping in situations where you cannot control the actions of others. How do you react? How SHOULD you react? It's up to your family. Is hearing the swearing more or less upsetting than dealing with the results of a complaint to the coach? Are you willing to gamble that the results will be positive? (Sometimes they ARE . . . people who swear CAN be gracious too. Are you willing to take the complaint higher if the coach doesn't make an effort after you speak to him? I think your choices are DO something, or truly let it go. Also, if this upsets your children to the point where the cannot focus make sure they never joined the military Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 When I taught high school, this would not have been considered appropriate. It wouldn't bother me if the coach was swearing but not AT the students, but most schools would not accept that from coaches who are also teachers. However, if the coach is not a teacher there is probably little that can be done, especially if finding qualified coaches is difficult in your area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Welcome to the real world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerico Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I think it depends. I once had a teacher (he wasn't my teacher but a chapparone (sp?)on a trip) call me a b(*#&. I reported him for that and other reasons (other inappropriate things that happened on the trip) and he was fired. Our basketball coach cussed all of the time but he never called us names and I cussed at him just as much (shamefully, and I have sought him out to apologize!) But I never reported him as he never called me a name... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 It sounds like she just isn't that into running, and the swearing isn't the whole issue...in which case I'd probably let her quit, but I'd also try to encourage her to speak up if something is offensive to her. There's no reason she can't make a comment (and it could be light and funny; doesn't have to be serious and confrontational) to let the coach know that he's being a bit excessive. That's a lesson she's going to have to learn at some point. As for the actual swearing, well, I curse like a sailor. I have a filthy, filthy mouth, I won't deny it. So the actual swearing wouldn't bother *me,*but I understand that it is offensive to others, so I don't swear in public (unless I'm swearing at you, and if that's the case, you probably deserve it), in my workplace, or around children. I think that's just common decency. And for that reason, it would probably tick me off if someone were excessively cursing in front of my (or anyone's) kids. It's just rude. But again, if it bothers you that much, say something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AHASRADA Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I have often been frustrated by some people's tendency to cite undesirable situations in school as exposure to the "real world". School is not the real world. As an adult, I have the ability to distance myself from those whose behavior makes me uncomfortable, and often have legal (criminal and civil) recourse for abusive treatment. PS students are a captive audience, and should not be in a position where they are forced to listen to disrespectful and inappropriate language. I was raised neutrally about swearing, and was educated in PS. I certainly heard it from fellow students, but never got in the habit myself, and the big ones (esp. forms of the f word) have always made me extremely uncomfortable, even nauseous. Coming from a teacher would have caused me to lose all respect for him/her, and likely report them in some fashion. As role models and professionals paid to educate youth, such behavior should be viewed as a breach of ethics. Period. My point to the OP: No, your dd shouldn't just get used to it, any more than she should just get used to bullying, se*ual harassment, racial slurs, or any other disrespectful/denigrating behavior. What will serve her well in the "real world" is learning how to stand up for her self in such situations in an appropriate and effective way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I have often been frustrated by some people's tendency to cite undesirable situations in school as exposure to the "real world". School is not the real world. As an adult, I have the ability to distance myself from those whose behavior makes me uncomfortable, and often have legal (criminal and civil) recourse for abusive treatment. PS students are a captive audience, and should not be in a position where they are forced to listen to disrespectful and inappropriate language. I was raised neutrally about swearing, and was educated in PS. I certainly heard it from fellow students, but never got in the habit myself, and the big ones (esp. forms of the f word) have always made me extremely uncomfortable, even nauseous. Coming from a teacher would have caused me to lose all respect for him/her, and likely report them in some fashion. As role models and professionals paid to educate youth, such behavior should be viewed as a breach of ethics. Period. My point to the OP: No, your dd shouldn't just get used to it, any more than she should just get used to bullying, se*ual harassment, racial slurs, or any other disrespectful/denigrating behavior. What will serve her well in the "real world" is learning how to stand up for her self in such situations in an appropriate and effective way. if you were raised neutral about swearing, then why would hearing the 'f-word' make you nauseous? i've already written that swearing around me doesn't bother me. name calling does, abusive language directed at people does...but just hearing the words. meh. so that is where i am coming from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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