Susann Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 such loss...there are no words....prayers for all :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 I obviously feel so strongly for the parents b/c I am one. I just can't imagine being law enforcement and having to deal with that scene. Praying for all involved. I can guarantee it was horrific for all emergency personnel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 I agree that the media's lack of sensitivity and respect for privacy is appalling, but the average person looks at the photos simply because they are there, as part of the article. I also think we seek to understand what happened, or even to believe that this has happened. We don't just get local news, we get news from all over the world -- photos are part of the news we absorb, and they are shocking at times. Different thought -- I just read the phrase "shortly after 9 am this morning." You know what I was doing "shortly after 9 am this morning?" I getting out of bed (recovering from kidney stones/UTI). I certainly wasn't thinking, "Hey, my child might be shot." It was the last thing on my mind, and on the minds of those unfortunate parents. How do you know when you've started your Most Life-Changing Day? I clicked through the photos too. I'm not judging anyone! But it did occur to me, "Hey! So if my DD is at a school like this, anyone in the world can just take her pic and publish it on the web??" So 20 years from, when/if those children start dating and their friends or potential mates google them (as we now advise our young people to do and as employers are doing all over the world right this second), THAT photo will pop up. So what if that person doens't want to talk about this event on a first date or a job interview or whatever? There will ALWAYS be ways to convey the horror without photographing the people the instant it happens. The flag in the middle of the street already at halfmast was moving. The shots of the school itself, which happens to look like almost any elementary school in our country, the line of cars of parents' panicking, the adults who have given permission, etc. etc. We have enough photos without photographing people suffering in grief and without photographing 6 year olds without parental permission. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 just wanted to say as an adult with AS that also has a HFA child, ASD has nothing to do with this....... I would hate to see AS painted as a disease that causes one to go mental and slaughter innocent people. My HFA is a sweet caring young man that would never intentionally hurt anyone. I also have 2 ASD children. However I can see how under the "right" set of toxic circumstances someone with HFA can snap. This is not the first mass shooting associated with HFA. The Virginia Tech shooter was suspected of being autistic as a child, I don't know if he was officially diagnosed. William Freund was also dx'ed and was a spree shooter. And I already mentioned the norway shooter (dx'ed). This is only to say that we have to be all the more vigilant with HFA children especially boys, to keep their psyches intact if at all humanly possible. And quite frankly if a HFA child develops an obsessive fixation with weapons and death (as all the above shooters did) this should be a cause for alarm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadrunner Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 I am just holding my boys extra tight today. I cannot imagine anything worse than what these parents are going through right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 That's so true. If I was on security and I knew the child of a teacher, I'd have let them through, too (assuming he'd been there many times before). That's true, no security could have accounted for that. :( It is just heartbreaking. We are not watching the news at all at the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 IMO- violent video games/movies, loss of morals/lack of Christian values, medicating children, drug/alcohol use with young adults, dealing with bullies, major economic issues, broken families... I have no problems with guns... a gun in the wrong hands- that's the problem. You don't have to be Christian to have values that prevent you from murdering children!!! I'm glad this was addressed, but that presumption gets old. I really wish they wouldn't have pics of body bags and such on the news. It's just too sickening for those families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 I don't think that when something terrible happens, people are "bad" if/when they go on with normal life... but I am having such a hard time processing anything besides this... people on FB posting cute pix of their kid, students posting that they are done with exams, even seeing titles of threads about other things... I want to scream "who CARES? 20 little kindergarteners were just SHOT." I just feel completely stuck on this. I cannot think of anything else and can barely stop crying. Do some things just hit some people harder than others? I don't always feel so paralyzed by tragedy, but this... I just don't feel like I can function tonight. I guess what I'm saying is, I don't want to be self-righteous about how different people deal with shock and grief in different ways. But I cannot comprehend thinking about anything else right now. I don't have TV. I'm glad I'm not seeing body bags. I do wish I was more connected to others right now, though. Dh is out and I don't want to talk to my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Since the majority of mass shooters do NOT have autism, we can more likely say that people with autism are LESS likely to be mass shooters. How about green eyes? Of size 13 feet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Since the majority of mass shooters do NOT have autism, we can more likely say that people with autism are LESS likely to be mass shooters. How about green eyes? Of size 13 feet? I think busting out with the autism argument is assinine right now. Whoever is saying the shooter was autistic ought to have their brain examined for a dangerously low IQ. Autism is a actual medical diagnosis and anyone who "thinks" the shooter might have been autistic and thus blames the shooting on that is an idiot. However, if being on the spectrum is frequently present in this type of shooting; that is significant. That means we are not doing something right with the way we diagnose and/or treat autism spectrum disorders. We cannot correct what we don't know is wrong so knowledge is only the power to correct in this instance. And I say that with an officially diagnosed spectrum child and spouse. 24 hour news is a blessing and a curse. I hope we all slow down and wait for the proper authorities and medical personnel to inform us all of what contributed to this crime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiniBlondes Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 From what I have read, it was the shooters brother who said that he was autistic. Of course, everything in the media is crazy and unconfirmed right now so who really knows? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psyche Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 This and the attack on children at an elementary school in China the same morning (22 children and 1 adult were slashed by a villager) have me just heartbroken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I was praying for you when I saw this. And the families involved. Has it been 21 years? actually it's been 23 years. I was too upset to when I posted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 From what I have read, it was the shooters brother who said that he was autistic. Of course, everything in the media is crazy and unconfirmed right now so who really knows? Exactly. They confirmed it was Ryan several hours ago. Another source said he killed his dad, too. Take everything with a grain of salt right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 actually it's been 23 years. I was too upset to when I posted. École Polytechnique? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 École Polytechnique? :grouphug: Yes, the year I graduated... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Yes, the year I graduated... :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Yes, the year I graduated... :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Yes, the year I graduated... I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Yes, the year I graduated... I remember. I am so sorry. :grouphug: My first child was born in '89, and I remember two school tragedies from that year. I held that baby so tight... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 I haven't talked to my mom yet. . . . .she's in Colorado right now, but will be here on Sunday. She taught in Newtown for years - I brought my kids to school to spend time with her. My memory is sketchy, but I think she taught briefly at Sandy Hook. She sent me an email that said, 'Horrified. Physically ill.' I just keep thinking about the parents, waiting at the fire station, knowing their children are still in the school. . . . . . . Turn out of the school parking lot, drive down the road, take a right, you're at my house I grew up in. Horrific. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 http://www.theonion.com/articles/fuck-everything-nation-reports,30743/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 I don't think that when something terrible happens, people are "bad" if/when they go on with normal life... but I am having such a hard time processing anything besides this... people on FB posting cute pix of their kid, students posting that they are done with exams, even seeing titles of threads about other things... I want to scream "who CARES? 20 little kindergarteners were just SHOT." I just feel completely stuck on this. I cannot think of anything else and can barely stop crying. Do some things just hit some people harder than others? I don't always feel so paralyzed by tragedy, but this... I just don't feel like I can function tonight. Sometimes I wonder if we are made to hear news in such graphic detail and immediacy of stuff that happened far away. When something happens close, you can deal with your shock and horror by getting active and helping. from far away? You feel paralyzed and of no use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 http://www.theonion....-reports,30743/ Yep, I think that sums it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 actually it's been 23 years. I was too upset to when I posted. (((((C_l_e_0..Q_c))))) Even though I live in Philly, that's the one that hit the closest, emotionally, for me. (Ecole Polytechnique) I went to a candlelight vigil when it happened, even though it was scary to be in the city at night. I just remember the numbers coming out on the news, and doing the calculations, and knowing how few women there must have been in those classrooms to start with.... If I had been at that school, it could have been me. I have an engineering degree from Va. Tech. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NittanyJen Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 I don't think that when something terrible happens, people are "bad" if/when they go on with normal life... but I am having such a hard time processing anything besides this... people on FB posting cute pix of their kid, students posting that they are done with exams, even seeing titles of threads about other things... I want to scream "who CARES? 20 little kindergarteners were just SHOT." I just feel completely stuck on this. I cannot think of anything else and can barely stop crying. Do some things just hit some people harder than others? I don't always feel so paralyzed by tragedy, but this... I just don't feel like I can function tonight. I guess what I'm saying is, I don't want to be self-righteous about how different people deal with shock and grief in different ways. But I cannot comprehend thinking about anything else right now. I don't have TV. I'm glad I'm not seeing body bags. I do wish I was more connected to others right now, though. Dh is out and I don't want to talk to my kids. I told my son I would appreciate him not googling more information about the shooting. When he asked why, I said there were two reasons. 1. The information and images, besides being highly disturbing, keeps changing as the picture of what really happened changes. That shifting information itself makes an already horrific situation even worse. (Particularly fr an 11YO struggling to make his world make sense again). 2. Perseverating on the topic will really drain you, mentally, emotionally, and physically. It will prevent you from doing basic daily things you need to do. And it won't make anything better for the victims. A focused time of meditation or prayer, fine. Obsessing for hours, not so fine (for 11YO boy. I think we parents have a tough time letting go. I am trying to take my own advice, but some grieving is necessary, and I need some facts-- see below). I did tell him I would prefer he come to s rather than the Internet for information on this one, so we could help filter fact from fancy until things settle more. I did tell him to talk to us if he found himself sad, upset, or thinking about this a lot, instead of about 11YO boy topics like video games and diagramming sentences and what awesomeness to get his amazing Mom for Chrstmas, because we could help him talk through it-- it is not a forbidden topic. Now I am off to try my own advice. Chamomile tea, a few moments with a book, and cry myself to sleep... Those poor, innocent kids, and I am sorry if I catch flak for this, yes, for the obviously pained and hurting soul who perpetrated this. I do not excuse his actions one bit, but I will never believe that an individual does this outside of a tremendous place of pain himself. No excuse, and no, i do not place him in the same victim category as those poor children; just a reality. The person who did ths was unlikely to have been a happy, adjusted, safe feeling individual. Good night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnIslandGirl Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 As a new dawn rises this morning, we are left to reflect. I have heard much facebook chatter over bringing children home to homeschool. Unfortunately this is really not a PS issue. If the killers mother had been a Sunday School teacher, it would have been a church shooting, A ballet instructor it would have been a dance studio, etc. If his genuine motive was to destroy the people his mother loved most in this world, then this tragedy could have been seen in any number of places. It doesn't make this any less horrific, and our heart goes out to each and every person affected by this terrible tragedy. It could have been any town anywhere... that's what makes it so emotional for our country as a whole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VaKim Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 I don't think that when something terrible happens, people are "bad" if/when they go on with normal life... but I am having such a hard time processing anything besides this... people on FB posting cute pix of their kid, students posting that they are done with exams, even seeing titles of threads about other things... I want to scream "who CARES? 20 little kindergarteners were just SHOT." I just feel completely stuck on this. I cannot think of anything else and can barely stop crying. Do some things just hit some people harder than others? I don't always feel so paralyzed by tragedy, but this... I just don't feel like I can function tonight. I guess what I'm saying is, I don't want to be self-righteous about how different people deal with shock and grief in different ways. But I cannot comprehend thinking about anything else right now. I don't have TV. I'm glad I'm not seeing body bags. I do wish I was more connected to others right now, though. Dh is out and I don't want to talk to my kids. I know exactly what you mean. I see the other news headlines on the page, and they all just seem so trivial now. I remember when 9/11 happened, I saw it on tv then, and my neighbor was mowing. I felt like it was so strange that people should be doing ordinary, everyday things when such a thing was happening. Like the world should stop or something. Everything else just fades into the background and seems so insignificant when such things happen. I keep thinking of the parents who lost their babies in this, waking up from fitful sleep to the reality of the nightmare. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Researcher Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Well said, Joanne. I don't see this as a time for debate. The horror of this tragedy is so overwhelming; mosty, I want to hug my children. I also want to extend my love and thoughts to all those involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 actually it's been 23 years. I was too upset to when I posted. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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