Video Games... yes or no?

[shinyhappypeople]

How did you decide whether or not to bring a game system into your home? What were (are) the pros/cons for your family? Do you regret your decision?

 

I'm seriously struggling with this decision and would appreciate hearing your thoughts. Thanks.

[TranquilMind]

We have two. But I have rules that play is limited to the weekends. The weekday are for school, homework, family, sports.

 

Sometimes I regret buying one specific game because my son never wants to stop.

[Stayseeliz]

I despise video games. I really do. I think they are a waste of time and unproductive. But we did decide to get a Wii four years ago and traded it in yesterday for an XBOX. DH and DS like to play but it is strictly controlled. We decided to have one in the home because games like the sports games, etc are good for exercise and they do these during the winter. Our main reason though is that technology is simply part of life now and I want my kids to learn to use it in moderation. DH flunked out of college playing video games his first year because that's ALL he did. I want my kids to learn to do their work first and play later. It's been fine. DS knows what is required to play the game system, etc and doesn't ask until he has his chores done. His time on electronics is pretty limited.

[NotSoObvious]

We have an X-box but it is dh's, period. We use it for movies and the girls have played Rock Band. They've enjoyed the Wii at friends' houses.

 

We have opted not to encourage it with our girls because they don't show a huge interest and they are avid readers. We are very careful with electronics. I just feel like it will come in its own time. I don't need to roll out the red carpet. ;)

[5LittleMonkeys]

We've always had systems in our house. Dh and I played xbox games together when my first dc was first born, and it's been something he and I continue to do together. We also play games together with our family. Other families play lots of board games with their kids....we play video games with our kids (and board games too).

 

I do have to limit play time for my son (ds6) as he tends to forget that there are other activities that he enjoys doing. But, it really isn't a big deal. He knows that he can't play until after dinner during the week and then only for about an hour. On the weekends he can play on Sunday afternoon. Those rules are of coarse changeable by me or dh. Like when I have a migraine and I can't take one more moment of noise it's nice to tell him to go play Minecraft or Lego something or another (there are like 4 of them).

 

My girls don't have the same "addictive" tendencies so I don't put any restrictions on them. Some days the older girls might play for several hours and then some days they don't turn them on at all. It's just another form of entertainment imo. I'd much rather play an interactive video game than sit and watch some of the mind-numbing, insipid tv shows that are on every night.

 

I think it's like everything else in life...make it work for you\don't let it control you.

[momtoamiracle]

No game systems here. We may get a Wii in the future when DS is older, for the activity games. He plays games on the computer and the iPad, that is enough technology to me. Id rather he go play outside.

[Dory]

I have loved having the wii. I like the kids playing together on it. We have to limit it to weekends though or the kids play it too much. Even on holidays we try to limit it or they won't play with anything else. Well, that's not entirely true. My oldest won't play with anything else. My younger two don't require the limiting.

[Beans27]

We have two. But I have rules that play is limited to the weekends. The weekday are for school, homework, family, sports.

Sometimes I regret buying one specific game because my son never wants to stop.

 

Same here!

[violamama]

We don't own a game box and probably won't until our boys (6 & 4) are much older. They do get to play iPad ed apps, though.

 

I worry that if we had a system and limited it, it would be like it is sometimes with sweets or TV and would make them even more focused on them. I'll admit my parenting decisions on things like these are heavily influenced by how much strife and friction I'm willing to allow into our little kingdom. It's just not worth it to me, and I know it would make me cranky.

 

Full disclosure: neither my husband nor I ever really got into video games ourselves.

[Farrar]

We have a Wii. We limit all screens somewhat - all things in moderation. I'm not sorry we got it. The kids play together. We had a sleepover where there were four of them all playing together recently. It's mostly been a positive thing in our house.

[jenangelcat]

double post.

[jenangelcat]

I'm a gamer so I have nothing negative to say about them. They are not a waste of time if it something you enjoy (makes you happy) and they aren't necessarily unproductive either. I don't let the kids have free reign on them because it's easy to lose track of time while playing them and because they have other things to do.

 

I tend to buy new systems after the current release has been out for a couple of years.

[athena1277]

We have always had video games because dh is a gamer. I'm not even going to try to count how many systems he has (he has a lot of classic systems as well as new). It used to bother me a bit when dh played a lot, but he doesn't play a lot anymore, except when he has a new game. The kids don't play much because most of what he has is too hard or not appropriate for them. Dd has a Nintendo DS because it was recommended to help with her lazy eye years ago. We finally sucumbed and my mom is getting one for ds for Christmas. Dd doesn't play a lot, it goes in spurts. Mostly she plays it when she is going to have to sit for a while, like on long car rides or when she has to tag along on a doctor appointment.

[Mommyof4ks]

I love our Wii. My kids work together to play games, encourage one another, and my boys (who play often) have great hand eye coordination now. We do not go outside much in the late summer, because it is over 100 most days or in the winter when it is below 40 degrees, so the kids only excerise when they play video games. The games are not passive activities; they require strategy, focus, and determination. I know some people think they are awful, but the brain is not resting while playing. I would go nuts if I had to spend my whole day learning stuff and reading without a break or some time to have fun, so I assume my kids feel the same way. Some people have family board game night, but our family has family dance off nights and sing off nights on the Wii.

 

On the down side, it can be addicting for some people, and not all of the games are of good quality. Of course my dd was addicted to reading (yes, that can be bad since she was sitting on her bottom all day not exercising at all), so anything can be bad if it is not monitored.

[Mommyof4ks]

Double post

[Χά�ων]

We do not own a video game system. I have no intention of getting one and I have no regrets. I feel my money is better spent elsewhere.

[Dory]

I thought I'd add that we have a timer in the family room and the kids set the timer when they start playing and turn it off when the timer goes off. It works well and they respond to it well since it's not me nagging them. I am hoping that if I teach them to self regulate that they will be able to use that skill I other areas of life as they get older. So in that way, I have loves having the wii.

[JenC3]

Nope. The Grandparents and Uncle have systems they can play, but not at home. Ds is very prone to obsession with screen so we have to not allow them.

[PeacefulChaos]

Well, we have always had video game systems - growing up I had a Nintendo and a Sega Genesis (and a GameBoy), and when we got married we had a PlayStation. Over time we purchased the GameBoy Advance, PS2, Nintendo DS, PS3, and Wii, and we accumulated from our parents/grandparents houses the Sega Genesis, Nintendo 64, and Super Nintendo.

So yeah, we are gaming people, to an extent. The kids are only allowed to play after dinner with the exception of rainy days - then they can play in the afternoon after school.

They don't play most days. We're just busy, or they get to doing other things, or (when it isn't dark at 5!) they play outside til it is dark. But I don't regret having them and I really see no reason why anyone would.

[I.Dup.]

It was never a choice. My husband is a video game/techie nerd. They're all obsessed. It's out of my control, I limit it to naptime while dh is at work though.

[Heather in Neverland]

We have had all kinds of different systems at one time or another but currently have an Xbox. Both boys have a computer as well and they typically do more gaming on those. The Xbox is only used occasionally. My dh has no interest in gaming whatsoever and boys play in spurts. We don't have any issues with it.

[LaxMom]

We do not own a video game system. I have no intention of getting one and I have no regrets. I feel my money is better spent elsewhere.

Same here. To acquire something, it has to pass the sniff test as to whether it will enhance our lives in some meaningful way. Video games don't pass that test.

[DawnM]

We have a Wii and recently got an Xbox 360. My boys also have DSs for handheld games.

[Joshin]

Both DH and I brought our own systems into our marriage, so it was never a question whether we would have them or not. I don't think they are a waste of time or useless, but I do think some people are more wired to screen addiction than others. We do have strict limits on them for the boys. Especially for my oldest because he becomes obsessive with games (and with television, as well). No screens are allowed from Sunday at 5pm until Saturday morning, except for family activities (like watching a movie together) or educational reasons. They have a two hour limit each day for Saturday and Sunday to use for whatever screen activity they like.

 

Now, we bend the rules sometimes. If DS12 is editing a movie on the computer in the evening we don't count it toward his screen time, or we may allow extra video games on a blah weather day or when someone is sick. We also tend to bend the weekday rules more with DS7 because he doesn't become obsessed or show addictive tendencies. In fact, it's very rare for him to use more than an hour of his screen time up on the weekends.

 

If you introduce a system with the rules in place I doubt they would be seen as forbidden fruit but just a new cool thing with limits. If you start with free use then tighten the rules, though, games may become forbidden fruit.

[Lizzie in Ma]

No brainer for us, we have always been gamers.

We have a Wii and a PS3.

I understand it can become a problem with some people but for us it is a real pleasure.

I just spent 4 days playing through Lego LOTR.

We use the Wii for exercise games mostly and Skylanders most recently.

The PS3 has fantastic games for the family, Rayman Origins and Little Big Planet have us rolling with laughter as a family.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

We had a Wii. It was terrible. The only thing ds wanted to do was play that thing. But he's not very capable of playing most games. At first i limited him to lego games (the character does not die), then i had to disconnect it. He got too frustrated and i couldn't handle the extra carp that came out of his mouth.

 

Both kids have Nintendo DSs, but ds's is frequently "misplaced." He just isn't able to play most video games and they're not worth the frustration.

 

He now only plays apps on my phone after completing school work (or dr appt waiting room, etc). No apps are bought; i only get the free versions. This limits the difficulty and he gets 10 minutes between school subjects. When he gets bored with a game, i just find a new one.

 

His favorite game right now is presidents vs aliens. It asks you do identify a president from 4 pictures and if you're right, you get to fling that president's head at aliens and knock them off the screen. Once all the aliens are gone, if you scored at least 50% correct, you collect a president. He loves it and i just changed his settings to identify presidents and ordering questions.

[Carrie12345]

Dh and I grew up with video games, so they've always been around here. We don't have any official limits on them other than when Mom says wrap it up, you'd better wrap it up!

 

Sometimes it feels like my sons are (or more were, in older ds's case) a bit obsessed, but the reality is that they've regulated themselves pretty well. My kids play outside, play organized sports, do arts and crafts, read for fun, experiment in the kitchen, and play with non-electronic toys on a regular basis. They do their chores, their school work, hang out with the family, play with their baby brother, and make time for their pets. I can't think of a single thing video games have taken away from them.

 

We have whittled down our collection over time b/c we just don't have a need for a million games.

[Joanne]

How did you decide whether or not to bring a game system into your home? What were (are) the pros/cons for your family? Do you regret your decision?

 

I'm seriously struggling with this decision and would appreciate hearing your thoughts. Thanks.

 

My early parenting years were crunchy alternative shun mainstream. I once had a sig line that said "so alternative I can't see normal from here." I considered homesteading and off the grid.

 

I love our internet connected X Box. :laugh:

 

Eventually, the reality of my kids engaged in suburban life, juxtaposed with their temperments and personalities and the context of my life meant evaluting each decision individually. I also had to go through a period of time when I had to admit that alternative became group-think when I glomed onto every alternative idea - at that point I wasn't "alternative", I was like a teenager dressing like my small clique dressed similarly, at disdain for the cliques who dressed in their style.

 

So, I began making individual choices.

 

I allowed video games in stages (game boys used in vehicle only), a role playing game I was intimately familiar with, a game system with games I approved (this happened over years, not suddenly.) None of my kids are prone to screen addiction. My boys will hyperfocus on a new game for a few days, and then intuitively move back to balance.

 

I also began to value the function of some mainstream realities (food, entertainment) for peers and friend interaction for my kids. As they approached and moved into teens, I felt I needed to give them more and more say about their food, clothes, entertainment, etc.

[Parrothead]

There was no difficult decision. We each had video games prior to our marriage. Playing games was what we did for fun together back then. We still play, but not as often since life has gotten a bit more hectic what with school and work.

 

We have unlimited play available outside of school hours. Dd and I have times that we will do nothing but play for days on end. Then there are times that the console doesn't get turned on for months at a time.

[Jennifer in MI]

We do. I don't really limit it either. My kids are all very involved in sports and love to run around outside, so I've never felt the need.

[Hoot]

How did you decide whether or not to bring a game system into your home?

 

I resisted for a LONG time, but eventually DH and DS wore me down and I got tired of saying, "no."

 

 

What were (are) the pros/cons for your family?

 

Personally, I see no pros to video game use that cannot be accomplished in other ways. Some games are fun, and kill off time on rainy, dreary days stuck inside. Then again though, we also have a home gym, movies, board games, and plenty of other stuff to do on those same days.

 

The cons I see are increased grumpiness with even minimal use, the games are expensive, and there is SO. MUCH. STUFF. to store. This is a particular issue with things like Rock Band guitars and drums.

 

 

Do you regret your decision?

 

Absolutely. I regretted it the second I caved because I knew that it would inevitably lead to a desire for the newest game system over and over again. I was not wrong. My in-laws have only one grandson so they have no problem buying him an expensive game system, iPod or whatever else if he wants it for Christmas. At least they are very courteous and ask first. My husband, though he never plays any of the games, likes to buy the older systems so we have many of those as well.

 

All that said, I strictly limit DS's time with the video games. He is a very active kid but I still prefer that he do just about ANYTHING else beside sit in front of a video game. Typically, I'll let him play about an hour on weekend days and none during the week.

[MtnMama]

We are a gaming family, and have a PS3 and Wii. DS is getting a 3DS XL for Christmas, and he loves playing games on the iPad and Minecraft on the PC. Personally, I think games have had a positive impact on him. I can see an increase in his problem-solving skills, as well as his ability to work through frustration and meet a goal. We don't limit time, and he gets plenty of exercise and reading time along with the games. DH and I would play more ourselves if it weren't for our jobs, kids, chores, etc. :).

[Impish]

Wolf's always had a system. We now have a Wii for the kids, and an Xbox 360 for him, although the kids have games on that too.

 

I use it as a carrot. They earn time on the video games/tv/puter by doing their school work and chores.

 

Works for us.

[Alessandra]

A long time ago, when the Wii came out, we got a GameCube (cheap parent!).

 

Pros: we have had some hilarious fun playing multi-player games like MonkeyBall.

 

Cons: single-player role-playing games were a pain for me, because ds did NOT want to stop. I try to avoid situations that make me into the police, plus I do not want to elevate games by making them into a reward.

 

Other (and this may just be my family): disks got scratched, lost. I am not sad that we have an out of date system. We do get some computer games from GameHouse -- no disks to lose.

 

My favorite place to do games now is the iPad. We mostly have rather quick games, but I think there are some role playing games out there. Plus games ate so cheap.

 

Overall, I'd say to watch out if your dc tend to hyperfocus on things, but be more liberal if dc are able to stick to a schedule, or stop when asked. JMHO.

[Catwoman]

We don't limit gaming time, because I found that limitations made gaming seem like "forbidden fruit," and I don't really want him counting down the time until he's allowed to play, or counting the minutes until he has to get off the system. He seems to self-regulate pretty well, although he plays Minecraft online with his friends for hours at a time. (I don't mind this, though, because the kids don't live close to each other, and this seems to be a fun way for them to "get together" between actual visits.)

 

I don't think video gaming is the best possible way for a kid to spend his time, but I also don't think it's the worst, and since most kids seem to have the systems, it's a good ice-breaker to start a conversation with someone new.

[lea1]

We didn't have any gaming systems in our house until I decided to buy a Kindle. I really like the Kindle for reading books, especially when travelling. We have allowed our sons to put games on the Kindle and now it is used more for games than for reading. Our rule is that playtime comes after work, so school work, music practice and chores must be finished first before any screen time. The boys are allowed to watch one short movie (30 minutes) each week day and allowed one longer movie on weekends or holidays. They are also allowed to play Kindle games for 15 minutes each on weekdays and 30 minutes each on weekends. They enjoy watching each other play almost as much as playing so this is really 30 minutes of screen time with games on weekdays and one hour on weekends.

 

I don't regret allowing this much screen/game time. I think if we removed all restrictions they would spend too much time at it though. One of our sons especially has a tendency to become obsessed with things and it can last for an extended period of time. What does annoy me though is that every time they go to play at their friends' houses, they seem to only end up playing games or watching movies/tv or both. The neighbor boys do not like coming to our house to play because they want to play video games or watch movies. I like them to play other things together so maybe I am just out of the loop. I feel badly that their friends don't want to come here to play though. DH is planning to build a pretty neat tree fort soon, with a slide, fireman's pole, zip line and rope ladder that can be pulled up into the fort. So maybe that will make things a bit more fun for friends.

 

My sons love to pretend and spend the majority of their free time playing/pretending something and also playing/pretending with Legos. I would much rather they spend their time like this rather than sitting in front of screens.