I just want to cry

[Denisemomof4]

I am curious. How long does it take you to pay your bills each month? dh gets paid bi-weekly and I pay all paper bills the first paycheck with all auto payments coming out of the second. I could set everything up on auto-pay but being so hands off is NOT a good idea at all. I can't explain it at all but anyone who has suffered a head injury might understand.

 

 

Today it took me FIVE HOURS to pay my bills. I want to cry and it makes me feel like I will vomit. I used to be so disciplined but now - all concept of money is GONE. I have to pay my bills. Dh is NOT good at handling finances yet has been the lead on many finance teams at church and in business. It doesn't sound right but he is SO good at high level thinking but fails at everyday common sense stuff. Also, I am really worried because I definitely notice he has HUUUUGE memory and cognitive issues due to the Lymes. I hope and pray that it never affects his job.

 

I guess I should focus on the positive. It doesn't affect our homeschool at all.

 

:crying:

 

FYI - dh does all math. He is also periodically a math tutor for college students. Still, he can't pay the bills.

Edited September 7, 2012 by Denisemomof4

[MariannNOVA]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

DH does all that in our house -- i wish nothing to do with it.

 

but here's a funny:

 

my parents married when they were very young. my dad was in the navy and they lived in Hawaii. My dad handled all the finances.

 

Well, at some point,after he paid all the bills, there were checks bouncing all over the place. My mom took the checkbook to see what had happened.

 

He had added the date into the balance.

 

My mom took over the finances from that day on.:D

[Denisemomof4]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

DH does all that in our house -- i wish nothing to do with it.

 

but here's a funny:

 

my parents married when they were very young. my dad was in the navy and they lived in Hawaii. My dad handled all the finances.

 

Well, at some point,after he paid all the bills, there were checks bouncing all over the place. My mom took the checkbook to see what had happened.

 

He had added the date into the balance.

 

My mom took over the finances from that day on.:D

 

:lol: now THAT is Hilarious!!!

 

 

Going back to edit. It took me 5 hours. The thing is that I used to love crunching numbers, was very disciplined, paid bills ahead of time, etc. I budgeted and did a great job of it all. :(

 

 

 

:banghead:

[Unicorn.]

Dh is great at math too. I took over his checkbook 2 weeks after we started dating. I am the type who would spend days trying to find that one penny that didn't balance. Now, 3 kids later, I just pay the dang things and don't worry about the pennies! I do have some basic knowledge of how much is in the account, and if I need to move money around or only pay a portion of a big medical bill. I don't have time to waste looking for a penny.

[Spryte]

:grouphug:

 

After my Lyme journey, I don't do the bills in our household any more. The thought of it all makes my head spin, frankly. Lyme really did a number on me, that way.

 

DH does ours, and he does it well, but does not enjoy it. Keeping it all as automated as possible has helped a bit, but obviously there's a lot of doublechecking to make sure it's all correct each month.

 

Hmmm, this wasn't helpful at all for you, but I guess I wanted to be supportive and share the Lyme experience. Whew. It does add an extra element.

 

Can you go celebrate that the bills are done this month?

[marbel]

I never thought about how long it took to pay the bills. I don't think it takes that long!

 

I use my bank's bill payer system for most bills. When a bill arrives I schedule it for the due date. I keep a running list of what's going in and out and check my bank balance frequently. I don't know, maybe it takes an hour or so month, maybe even less. Since I do things as they come, it's not a huge chunk of time.

 

My husband doesn't want to handle the day-to-day bills; he is not organized enough. He handles the more strategic side, and the taxes.

 

I'm sorry you're having trouble! :grouphug:

[ondreeuh]

I'm curious why it takes so long. Are you just paying utility bills and others that have a "balance owed" that is non-negotiable? Or are you paying credit cards or medical bills where the amount you pay is somewhat up to you?

 

Paying bills takes me ten minutes, and most of that is just writing the checks. I don't make calculations though, I just write the check for the amount due. I know it's not always so simple, though.

[Runningmom80]

30 minutes at most, twice a month. We have a lot of bills, I pay 95% online.

[elegantlion]

Dh has never really been great at the bills, he has a system, but it's not my system.:tongue_smilie: However, I have to let him do it because he's the one that needs the idea of where the money goes (and oh so quickly). He has never had a good memory and it has gotten much worse since his head injury in 2009. He now has a different bill system, but yes he has to see it every month. Automatic would not be good here. He keeps a lot of reminders on his phone and that helps. He also gets paid bi-weekly, which at his pay level helps because we can budget easier (which sounds kind of weird)

 

The other day he came in and said someone keyed our car. Um, no honey, we bought that car in 2007 or 2008. It was used and the keyed line was on there at the time. I did notice it's getting more noticeable lately, but it's been there since purchase. I notice when he is hot, overtired, or very stressed his memory is shot and he gets more irritable.

 

:grouphug: I'm sorry you had a rough time.

[LaxMom]

I never thought about how long it took to pay the bills. I don't think it takes that long!

 

I use my bank's bill payer system for most bills. When a bill arrives I schedule it for the due date. I keep a running list of what's going in and out and check my bank balance frequently. I don't know, maybe it takes an hour or so month, maybe even less. Since I do things as they come, it's not a huge chunk of time.

 

My husband doesn't want to handle the day-to-day bills; he is not organized enough. He handles the more strategic side, and the taxes.

 

I'm sorry you're having trouble! :grouphug:

 

Yup, that. I don't autopay stuff because my husband gets paid every other week. But I get all of my bills via email and/or directly into online banking, and I just go to online banking and queue them up as they arrive. We've gone from stuff being late a good amount of time to being early all the time.

 

Except the water bill. That comes in the mail and gets paid with a handwritten check because the one time I paid it through the bank the town lost a huge batch of bank checks, so it was late. Then, I stopped payment on the lost check, which they found months later and deposited. Then they wanted to give us carp for "bouncing" a check (which they couldn't even post against something because we had a zero balance)... Huge mess. So they get a hand-delivered check, and we get a receipt. Everyone else gets electronic payments from my bank, and I don't even need to know what day it is to get them paid.

 

I'm sorry you're having a rough time of it. I remember how hard it was with CFS, just to focus. :grouphug:

[justLisa]

DH does all the bills but I give my deepest sympathies to anyone who does it. It is a lot of work.

[Cinder]

:grouphug: If I had to pay the bills here it would take me a long time, too.

 

On the lighter side: When dh was in the military and deployed I would take over the finances. After a couple of times that I balanced the checkbook incorrectly (and caused dh to take hours to figure out where I'd gone wrong) whenever he'd deploy he'd say, pay the bills but don't balance the checkbook! Sigh. I used to help dh with calculus but I fail at balancing checkbooks.

[TranquilMind]

Denisemomof4: How long does it take you to pay your bills each month? dh gets paid bi-weekly and I pay all paper bills the first paycheck with all auto payments coming out of the second. I could set everything up on auto-pay but being so hands off is NOT a good idea at all. I can't explain it at all but anyone who has suffered a head injury might understand.

 

I pay almost all paper bills, usually twice a month. Hey's it's worked for 35 years or so, so I'm not changing. It takes me an hour to two hours a month, probably. When I am also paying rental bills (unit empty) or when I was paying my Mom's, it took much longer.

 

 

 

Today it took me FIVE HOURS to pay my bills. I want to cry and it makes me feel like I will vomit. I used to be so disciplined but now - all concept of money is GONE.

 

 

 

I'm sorry. I hope it gets easier. Do you have a grown child or a friend you could ask to help you?

[regentrude]

What bills?

Electricity, water, gas, phone, internet, mortgage and car payment are direct debit. Once this is set up, no need to do anything.

The credit card is paid online, that takes a few minutes.

We do online banking, no need to balance a check book.

The only checks I write are to the kids' riding instructors right away at every lesson, and a board check on the 1st of the month.

 

Seriously, how many bills are you all paying that it takes so long?

Edited September 7, 2012 by regentrude

[Mommy_of_4]

Less than 30 min a month. Phone, insurance and netflix are direct debit. I write a check for the car. I pay electric online.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Last night, dh came to tell me that his credit card was frozen until we paid. I was :confused: because I always pay in full. I looked, and sure enough the money hadn't been taken out of our account last month. After looking and looking I realized that I had paid that amount - to another company! Of course they didn't say a word. . . I fixed it, but oh, my!

[bobbeym]

DH does the budgeting in his head; I just pay what he tells me to when. It doesn't take more than about 30 minutes paying them all online.

 

I know, it sounds like a very odd method but it works best for us and it's nice not being in the red anymore. :D

[Wheres Toto]

I do the bills every other week since that's when dh gets paid. I have a excel spreadsheet set up with all the bills divided by which paycheck they need to be paid out of with what is left after paying so dh can adjust to pay more on a credit card or know what's available.

 

We have a few things that are automatic payments - mostly stuff where we got a better interest rate for doing it automatic like the mortgage and a car payment. Most of the rest I pay online using the bill companies web-sites. I don't use my banks bill pay anymore because they totally messed up a couple bills. The only thing I pay by writing a check are medical bills or other unusual things.

 

I would say it takes me about 30 minutes each time I do it, which includes writing down all the confirmation numbers in the checkbook.

[QueenCat]

I do it weekly (dh is paid every 2 weeks). It takes about 30 minutes, including entering all of the credit card receipts for the week into Quicken. I also do any other Quicken entries at that time. Almost everything is paid online, via the bank. I only to automatic transfers for places that require it, which right now, is just the car insurance. Cable/internet, cellphone, and Netflix are paid automatically via credit card. Having a budget in excel helps me immensely.

[Nestof3]

I find autopayments so much easier and less time-consuming. I do have a chart that helps me a lot, though. I pull it out at the first of the month when I pay my husband as he's self-employed.

 

I enter everything in on the first, even if it doesn't come out until the 29th. The only ones I have to write out are medical bills which I pay on the same date.

 

I write the amounts in using pencil, and I change it each month to reflect the current amount. I then check them all off after they are entered into my checkbook -- one by one. The chart allows me to feel secure I have paid everything and helps me keep track.

 

Oh, for things like credit card bills, I write due dates on the calendar in a bright marker with the due date pushed a few days before actual due date. This is easier because we pay credit cards off each month, and I don't want any surprises. This is the other reason we do automatic payments. It's too easy to forget a bill due date and have a 0% offer scoot up to 29% APR. This is a second line of security along with the calendar/form I use.

 

It takes about 30 minutes since most of what I am doing is just entering data in my checkbook. I balance my checkbook online about once a week just to keep abreast of anything. I put a little check next to the entry in my checkbook when it clears. This makes balancing quick.

Edited September 7, 2012 by nestof3

[Kari C in SC]

Autopay is my friend. I have to pay one stinking rental mortgage payment via mail and one rental pool maintenance by mail. I HATE it! I wish it was automated. Other rental mortgage payments, electric, cell, water, and netflix come out automatically. I do have to go online and pay off my cc each month and I also go online to make additional mortgage payments.

[kiwi3129]

I use my bank's bill payer system for most bills. When a bill arrives I schedule it for the due date. I keep a running list of what's going in and out and check my bank balance frequently. I don't know, maybe it takes an hour or so month, maybe even less. Since I do things as they come, it's not a huge chunk of time.

 

This is exactly what I started doing about 4 months ago. Up until then I would sit down twice a month and write out checks. Now when a bill comes in the mail I get online right then and get it scheduled for payment. It takes me maybe two minutes per bill tops. Then I just check online about every two days to refresh my memory about what is about to be paid. I also get emails from the bank the day each item has been paid. I'll NEVER go back to writing checks again!

[Melinda in VT]

How long does it take me? It depends. Am I surfing the WTM board with one eye while I write checks with the other? :tongue_smilie:

 

Personal bills take maybe an hour a month BUT we don't balance our personal checking account and the mortgage and two credit cards are paid automatically.

 

Now the business on the other hand . . . :glare:

[swellmomma]

When I am actually paying, or when I am playing shuffle the bill?

 

Paying takes me about 5-10 minutes as I do it all online.

 

Shuffle and bill and creative thinking of how much to actually cover on each one, well that can take hours of stress and reworking the budget.

[happypamama]

Actually paying bills? About two minutes a couple of times a month. I pay all of them via my bank's online billpay, and it's very simple. (I don't like to do them via autodraft, because we don't have direct deposit, and sometimes it can be a few days before we get to the bank.)

 

Reconciling the bank statement, downloading transactions to Quicken, actually seeing whether we're on budget or not? That takes a while longer. Mainly because it's horribly tedious, and I put it off until it's a big job.

[Sparkle]

I kind of do what Dawn does. I have a list of all the bills that go out monthly. Some are auto-pay from our checking account, and the rest I write out checks for. I enter the amount, and put a check mark next to it when it's been paid. I put a second check mark next to it when it's cleared the bank.

 

I don't know if something like that would be helpful to you or not, but basically it helps me make sure that everything has been paid, and it streamlines the process.

 

Auto-pay can be really convenient, as long as you remember to deduct it. I'm a little leery about paying everything that way, only because I've had some payments get "lost", so I reverted to paying by check, but it is a lot less time-consuming.

[Denisemomof4]

:grouphug:

 

After my Lyme journey, I don't do the bills in our household any more. The thought of it all makes my head spin, frankly. Lyme really did a number on me, that way.

 

DH does ours, and he does it well, but does not enjoy it. Keeping it all as automated as possible has helped a bit, but obviously there's a lot of doublechecking to make sure it's all correct each month.

 

Hmmm, this wasn't helpful at all for you, but I guess I wanted to be supportive and share the Lyme experience. Whew. It does add an extra element.

 

Can you go celebrate that the bills are done this month?

 

It helps to know that dh's Lymes makes him even worse at bill paying and I can't get upset at him over that.

 

My friends say to put things on auto-pay. I absokutely CAN NOT do that. I have to be hands on or months will g by bwfore I remember to check on things. :(. THAT is the head injury.

[Denisemomof4]

Very funny!!

 

I do the bill-paying, my dh does the taxes. I am much better at due dates and dull monotonous tasks than he is, and I could not figure our taxes to save my life. He also handles the investing, with full disclosure to me. I understand what he is saying while he is talking, and that's good enough for me.

 

Denise, I took my billpaying from about 3 hours to about 30 minutes by using electronic bill pay with our bank. I have been *very* happy with the time saved as well as with the surrounding services. It did take a little while to get it set up, and the banker told me that I am on the high end of users--most people pay a few of their bills this way, but I do almost all of them electronically.

 

 

Hope this helps.

 

Your first oaragraph exolains dh and I to a T!!!!!

 

I can't be so hands off with electronic bill paying, BUT your post did spark a thought in me to show me why it is taking so long. I have to log into every account with my bill in hand, check balances, make sure last payment was made, and then I make a payment by phone. It is AWFUL doing it this way but I have to. I am not working with a full brain. :(. There have been months when I paid a HUGE bill twice, and other months where I missed altogether. Now I check all balances first, write all bills paid in a notebook, where they don't get lost in a checkbook log filled with DEBIT transactions, then the following month I use my notebook to make sure I pay all the same bills (Discovery and DirecTV both send statements irregularly which REALLY screws me up, my handy dandy notebook is my reminder to pay them even though I didn't receive a statement ;) then B of A automatically withdrew TWO substantial payments at once, couldn't correct their mistake AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT although my bank where checkbook is saw it clearly,, and a week and a half later I STILL don't have their check they promised me!).

 

Siiiiigh.

 

Can someone remind me to never pay billls on a Friday again? :crying: i feared I ruined my weekend until my good friend called to see if I could go kayaking in the morning.

 

Siiiiigh.

[Denisemomof4]

I'm curious why it takes so long. Are you just paying utility bills and others that have a "balance owed" that is non-negotiable? Or are you paying credit cards or medical bills where the amount you pay is somewhat up to you?

 

Paying bills takes me ten minutes, and most of that is just writing the checks. I don't make calculations though, I just write the check for the amount due. I know it's not always so simple, though.

 

I am up to my ears in medical bills. AND, calling on so many bills became so overwhelmong that I stopped making calls and am just paying them. A friend scolded me tonight when I paid four co-pays for doctors dd saw in the hospital, this after receiving a letter from my insurance company weeks back saying everything was 100% covered. I forgot about those. I can't keep too many papers or too muc clutter or else I will lose the ability to pay the bills.

 

I know it sounds crazy. I remember how efficient I used to be.

 

The time consuming thing is explained upthread. It really sucks to be so inadequate. :sad:

[Denisemomof4]

Dh has never really been great at the bills, he has a system, but it's not my system.:tongue_smilie: However, I have to let him do it because he's the one that needs the idea of where the money goes (and oh so quickly). He has never had a good memory and it has gotten much worse since his head injury in 2009. He now has a different bill system, but yes he has to see it every month. Automatic would not be good here. He keeps a lot of reminders on his phone and that helps. He also gets paid bi-weekly, which at his pay level helps because we can budget easier (which sounds kind of weird)

 

The other day he came in and said someone keyed our car. Um, no honey, we bought that car in 2007 or 2008. It was used and the keyed line was on there at the time. I did notice it's getting more noticeable lately, but it's been there since purchase. I notice when he is hot, overtired, or very stressed his memory is shot and he gets more irritable.

 

:grouphug: I'm sorry you had a rough time.

 

I thought I was so much better than I really am. I guess that I have lived with my deficits for so long now that I didn't realize that I have grown to accept them.

 

Dh's last car, his mothers which he drove until this past May, was bought 6 - 8 years ago. Right before we got his new car in May I got SO angry at him for cutting off other cars or making other drivers angry to the point they would go key the car. It looks AWFUL. When dh told me it had always been there, I got angry at him for lying. The kids agreed, the marks were always thers. :crying:

[Denisemomof4]

I pay almost all paper bills, usually twice a month. Hey's it's worked for 35 years or so, so I'm not changing. It takes me an hour to two hours a month, probably. When I am also paying rental bills (unit empty) or when I was paying my Mom's, it took much longer.

 

 

 

 

I'm sorry. I hope it gets easier. Do you have a grown child or a friend you could ask to help you?

 

i can't ask for help. I just can't. Maybe eventually, but I am hoping that the longer I do this, the easier it will be.

 

Also, I can't pay bills by snail mail. I can guarantee I will lose them. Only the house ohone gets paid by snail mail and your post reminded me that I have an envelope to maol. Wthout your post, it would have fallen through the cracks, so thank you!

[Ellie]

10 minutes. 15, max.

 

I don't want autopay on anything except Netflix and a small life insurance policy, but I do pay all my bills on-line, through my bank. I've read too many horror stories about autopayments getting messed up.:glare:

[Denisemomof4]

What bills?

Electricity, water, gas, phone, internet, mortgage and car payment are direct debit. Once this is set up, no need to do anything.

The credit card is paid online, that takes a few minutes.

We do online banking, no need to balance a check book.

The only checks I write are to the kids' riding instructors right away at every lesson, and a board check on the 1st of the month.

 

Seriously, how many bills are you all paying that it takes so long?

 

Ahow can you not balance your acct? what takes me so long is explained above. :(

 

Eta: today I paid cell phones, house phone, barn electricity, house electricity, two credit cards, NUMEROUS medical bills, DirecTV, payments for several activities, co-pays for when dh went to dr :glare: ( BRING A CHECK!), .............. I know there were more but I REFUSE to open that notebook. :(

Edited September 8, 2012 by Denisemomof4

[regentrude]

My friends say to put things on auto-pay. I absokutely CAN NOT do that. I have to be hands on or months will g by bwfore I remember to check on things. :(. THAT is the head injury.

 

I do not understand - if you do autopay, you still get paper statements and can check that all is OK and you have not been charged wrongly, but you don't have to do anything about them. Why does that not work? THe paper statement will come monthly, just like your bill, so you remember to check - but you only spend seconds looking at it and then you can file it away.

[regentrude]

Ahow can you not balance your acct? what takes me so long is explained above. :(

 

Online banking. When a bill is paid direct debit, it gets deducted from my balance. When I log in to my bank account, I see what my balance is that moment, I see what came into the account, I see what was spent on which bill or withdrawal, how much was spent with the debit card at which store, how much is left.

I don't have to do anything by hand.

Much much easier than balancing a check book - especially if you have trouble with brain injury!

 

And I can use account aggregator software that displays all my accounts and credit cards on one page.

[elegantlion]

I am up to my ears in medical bills. AND, calling on so many bills became so overwhelmong that I stopped making calls and am just paying them. A friend scolded me tonight when I paid four co-pays for doctors dd saw in the hospital, this after receiving a letter from my insurance company weeks back saying everything was 100% covered. I forgot about those. I can't keep too many papers or too muc clutter or else I will lose the ability to pay the bills.

 

I know it sounds crazy. I remember how efficient I used to be.

 

The time consuming thing is explained upthread. It really sucks to be so inadequate. :sad:

 

Dh get confused by the clutter too. He doesn't stack like he used to and if I touch them, wow!, lets just say the bills sit.

 

I've often considered PMing you to see how much of this is normal. Before his injury he'd forget what he ate for breakfast because it didn't matter, now he just forgets random things.

 

At least repeat season on TV isn't so redundant. :tongue_smilie:

[Denisemomof4]

I do it weekly (dh is paid every 2 weeks). It takes about 30 minutes, including entering all of the credit card receipts for the week into Quicken. I also do any other Quicken entries at that time. Almost everything is paid online, via the bank. I only to automatic transfers for places that require it, which right now, is just the car insurance. Cable/internet, cellphone, and Netflix are paid automatically via credit card. Having a budget in excel helps me immensely.

 

I find autopayments so much easier and less time-consuming. I do have a chart that helps me a lot, though. I pull it out at the first of the month when I pay my husband as he's self-employed.

 

I enter everything in on the first, even if it doesn't come out until the 29th. The only ones I have to write out are medical bills which I pay on the same date.

 

I write the amounts in using pencil, and I change it each month to reflect the current amount. I then check them all off after they are entered into my checkbook -- one by one. The chart allows me to feel secure I have paid everything and helps me keep track.

 

Oh, for things like credit card bills, I write due dates on the calendar in a bright marker with the due date pushed a few days before actual due date. This is easier because we pay credit cards off each month, and I don't want any surprises. This is the other reason we do automatic payments. It's too easy to forget a bill due date and have a 0% offer scoot up to 29% APR. This is a second line of security along with the calendar/form I use.

 

It takes about 30 minutes since most of what I am doing is just entering data in my checkbook. I balance my checkbook online about once a week just to keep abreast of anything. I put a little check next to the entry in my checkbook when it clears. This makes balancing quick.

 

Cathie, is quicken like Dawn's spreadsheet?

 

I think having the spreadsheet could minimize my time spent on this nightmare.

[elegantlion]

I do not understand - if you do autopay, you still get paper statements and can check that all is OK and you have not been charged wrongly, but you don't have to do anything about them. Why does that not work? THe paper statement will come monthly, just like your bill, so you remember to check - but you only spend seconds looking at it and then you can file it away.

 

In my dh's case he has to see the paper bill. He needs to see it before it is due. It was different when he was self-employed as our income was sporadic, we didn't want anything on auto pay because of that. Now, he still needs to interact with the bill for a couple of time before it was due. It literally needs to be in his face. He lays them out a day or two before.

 

If it was on direct pay, he forget about the bill and then use the money for something else before he remembered to check the bill pay. He needs that physical check in place.

 

If I did the bills then it would turn into me nagging as a reminder (plus there are many other reasons he does the bills). He doesn't have direct deposit at his job.

 

It's odd because we are very techie. His smart phone is good because it gives reminders, but if those would come when he is work he wouldn't have the opportunity to write it down and then he'd forget it.

 

It was very different before his head injury and he had only a minor concussion. It's been amazing the changes that have happened since that incident.

[Parrothead]

:grouphug::grouphug:

I wish I could help.

 

Our bills so rarely ever change. I set things up once a year with the bank's bill pay and just keep tabs on them monthly. I'll never do auto-pay again. That was a nightmare.

[Denisemomof4]

This is exactly what I started doing about 4 months ago. Up until then I would sit down twice a month and write out checks. Now when a bill comes in the mail I get online right then and get it scheduled for payment. It takes me maybe two minutes per bill tops. Then I just check online about every two days to refresh my memory about what is about to be paid. I also get emails from the bank the day each item has been paid. I'll NEVER go back to writing checks again!

 

Ok, this is another issue which I am sure sucks some time out of me. Dh used to pay the bills but after his lymes he got much worse. I took over about 4? Months ago. Because some of the bills are in his name alone, they won't change contact info so he gets all emails on bills. Not ony that, our home phone company won't even accept payments by phone from me. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY. after bill is paid, I forget to tell dh we need to change acct info, meaning another nightmare the following week. It is stupid. And dh has to sift through hundreds of emails daily to find bill payment info.

 

I don't want to go to auto-pay because I don't want companies automatically deducting from my acct. How do you hqndle auto-pay on your own? The auto pmts I have set up (mortgage, car, online school) are deducted by the company qnd not me. I can NOT have all bills paid that way. It will ruin me.

[regentrude]

I don't want to go to auto-pay because I don't want companies automatically deducting from my acct. How do you hqndle auto-pay on your own? The auto pmts I have set up (mortgage, car, online school) are deducted by the company qnd not me. I can NOT have all bills paid that way. It will ruin me.

 

But the amount and due dates are the same.. whether they deduct it from your account, or whether you send them a check. How does one ruin you and not the other?

I am obviously missing something.

[Denisemomof4]

I kind of do what Dawn does. I have a list of all the bills that go out monthly. Some are auto-pay from our checking account, and the rest I write out checks for. I enter the amount, and put a check mark next to it when it's been paid. I put a second check mark next to it when it's cleared the bank.

 

I don't know if something like that would be helpful to you or not, but basically it helps me make sure that everything has been paid, and it streamlines the process.

 

Auto-pay can be really convenient, as long as you remember to deduct it. I'm a little leery about paying everything that way, only because I've had some payments get "lost", so I reverted to paying by check, but it is a lot less time-consuming.

 

I check my log once it is paid, and I also write confirmation numbers on ther after paying via phone or online. Then I check the register once check/payment has cleared. Oh, and I check the previous month's bills a second time to show me that all bills are paid regukarky, which shiwed me AGAIN today that I didn't receive DirecTV's bill but had to pay anyway. And make ANOTHER call to them to see why I didn't get the bill.

 

I hate companies automatically withdrawing. I WOULD forget to write these in, and B of A withdrew two substantial payments twice recently, as did the company we have a loan for our car payment. No wonder I get so confused.:iagree:

[Nestof3]

i can't ask for help. I just can't. Maybe eventually, but I am hoping that the longer I do this, the easier it will be.

 

Also, I can't pay bills by snail mail. I can guarantee I will lose them. Only the house ohone gets paid by snail mail and your post reminded me that I have an envelope to maol. Wthout your post, it would have fallen through the cracks, so thank you!

 

Honestly, if neither one of you is able to pay the bills, I see no other choice but to get help. There are systems to use, such as the one I mentioned or a calendar system, but if that is not possible, I don't see another choice.

[Nestof3]

Cathie, is quicken like Dawn's spreadsheet?

 

I think having the spreadsheet could minimize my time spent on this nightmare.

 

Mine is just a low-tech Word document. I can pm you a copy.

 

There's nothing wrong with asking for help, though.

[Denisemomof4]

I do not understand - if you do autopay, you still get paper statements and can check that all is OK and you have not been charged wrongly, but you don't have to do anything about them. Why does that not work? THe paper statement will come monthly, just like your bill, so you remember to check - but you only spend seconds looking at it and then you can file it away.

 

My auto pay is mortgage, online school, car payment, insurance. And I think one other. i get no paper statement. I really need those statements in my hand to make it all work. I have fought with SEVERAL companies since going off auto-pay and STILL have no statement. In fact today I called Verizon to pay my bill via phone with no statement. I never got the bill. Last month's log showed me to pay them and DirecTV. Not being on auto pay has actually made things so much easier. I really need to be hands on.

 

AND the car payment got taken out twice and B of A wouldn't correct it because they saw no mistake on their end. My credit union had to call B of A to straighten it all out and three weeks later, B of A still hasn't refunded me. At the same time my debit card was hacked and charges against my account REALLY threw me for a loop. I got it all settled but BOY was it confusing.

[Denisemomof4]

Online banking. When a bill is paid direct debit, it gets deducted from my balance. When I log in to my bank account, I see what my balance is that moment, I see what came into the account, I see what was spent on which bill or withdrawal, how much was spent with the debit card at which store, how much is left.

I don't have to do anything by hand.

Much much easier than balancing a check book - especially if you have trouble with brain injury!

 

And I can use account aggregator software that displays all my accounts and credit cards on one page.

 

BUT, what would really mess me up with this is the delay in debit charges or checks which need to clear. For instance, I had written a check for my haircut THREE weeks ago and it didn't clear until two days ago. I used my debit card (or was it a check? ) and it two weeks to clear.

 

By not being on auto pay, I balance my acct every week and know which checks or debits are outstanding. In fact, I have a dr. Co-pay check from over a month ago which STILL hasn't cleared.

 

I could leave a larger running balance, but getting in there to pay bills and balance the acct holds me accountable, and then I know exactly where we stand.

 

Supposedly. :unsure:

[Nestof3]

Just to let you know, I still get paper statements for 90% of my autopay bills. That is a possibility too.

 

My auto pay is mortgage, online school, car payment, insurance. And I think one other. i get no paper statement. I really need those statements in my hand to make it all work. I have fought with SEVERAL companies since going off auto-pay and STILL have no statement. In fact today I called Verizon to pay my bill via phone with no statement. I never got the bill. Last month's log showed me to pay them and DirecTV. Not being on auto pay has actually made things so much easier. I really need to be hands on.

 

AND the car payment got taken out twice and B of A wouldn't correct it because they saw no mistake on their end. My credit union had to call B of A to straighten it all out and three weeks later, B of A still hasn't refunded me. At the same time my debit card was hacked and charges against my account REALLY threw me for a loop. I got it all settled but BOY was it confusing.

[regentrude]

BUT, what would really mess me up with this is the delay in debit charges or checks which need to clear. For instance, I had written a check for my haircut THREE weeks ago and it didn't clear until two days ago. I used my debit card (or was it a check? ) and it two weeks to clear.

By not being on auto pay, I balance my acct every week and know which checks or debits are outstanding. In fact, I have a dr. Co-pay check from over a month ago which STILL hasn't cleared.

I could leave a larger running balance, but getting in there to pay bills and balance the acct holds me accountable, and then I know exactly where we stand.

 

I still do not understand what any of this has to do with auto pay. If anything, it is more immediate because there is no waiting period for a check to be cleared - if payment is due on the 15th, it is deducted on the 15th and is displayed as gone from my account. The more we have deducted automatically, the fewer charges have the delay issues you describe. (Btw, I have never seen a debit card payment not clear immediately- it goes through right away when you use the machine. Must have been a check.)

I can go and view my balance online every day if I want and keep on top of things. I can see whether the riding teacher has cashed her checks or not. If you don't do well with the screen, you can print our your account and look over it.

Edited September 8, 2012 by regentrude

[Nestof3]

I always like to know how much I have as well. Having the list helps you see what bills are due when. It wasn't until a couple years ago that I entered all the bills on the first of the month. I just do that now because we have enough coming in to cover it, we use our Amazon credit card for all purchases and pay it off monthly, and I like to know how much is in my checking account after the bills have been paid for the month.

 

You could still get paper statements (for most), still write them in right before they are due, and still have most autodebited. I actually note on my list which ones are autodebited. I still get email warnings for these things as well. I just like my list. I also cross through the months we do not pay water and sanitation because those are every two months.

 

BUT, what would really mess me up with this is the delay in debit charges or checks which need to clear. For instance, I had written a check for my haircut THREE weeks ago and it didn't clear until two days ago. I used my debit card (or was it a check? ) and it two weeks to clear.

 

By not being on auto pay, I balance my acct every week and know which checks or debits are outstanding. In fact, I have a dr. Co-pay check from over a month ago which STILL hasn't cleared.

 

I could leave a larger running balance, but getting in there to pay bills and balance the acct holds me accountable, and then I know exactly where we stand.

 

Supposedly. :unsure:

[Denisemomof4]

Dh get confused by the clutter too. He doesn't stack like he used to and if I touch them, wow!, lets just say the bills sit.

 

I've often considered PMing you to see how much of this is normal. Before his injury he'd forget what he ate for breakfast because it didn't matter, now he just forgets random things.

 

At least repeat season on TV isn't so redundant. :tongue_smilie:

 

PM me anytime. I used to forget my BP meds regularly. Even now I will sometimes have to figure out why at 5:00 I feel so weak and faint....... Only to realize I had been so busy I forgot to eat ALL DAY. :glare:

 

I got angry at the kids many tmes telling them to REMIND me to feed them when I forgot to do so on my own. :crying: dd9 was a toddler when I suffered my life-altering injury. My kids have GOT to help me remember to feed them. Most times I forget to eat until my blood sugar is too low. Now they are old enough to just grab, or for dd12, cook for themselves

 

I spent all those hours paying bills today and then was completely drained. Dd12 started to clean up to help out and I didn't realize what she was doing at first. When I realized she was helping me, I COMPKETELY panicked and yelled, "DON'T TOUCH THOSE BILLS!!!" because I knew one hand on that messy stack would ruin it all.

 

It totally sucks.