Kathleen in LV Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Our family is generally supportive of homeschooling, except for MIL (a teacher), who isn't too keen on the idea -- which is putting it mildly. Recently got an e-mail from her with this doozy: "There is no substitute for school and all the things that are important for normal growth and development. And if he meets in play groups throughout the year with other home schooled kids, my gosh, it's just getting together with other strange, odd kids and stranger parents." (Emphasis in original.) Um . . . okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 it's just getting together with other strange, odd kids and stranger parents." (Emphasis in original.) Gee, thanks. Actually, the diversity of homeschoolers is one of the things I like. There are some people who are way off the ends of the spectrum that you just wouldn't meeting in public school. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 What a rude thing for her to say. In other words, her grandchild is a strange odd kid with strange parents (and the rest of us are even worse). And you are stunting his growth and development. Have you told her that the subject of homeschooling is not open for discussion? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I would respond with a simple "LOL. You have no clue, and this is not open for discussion." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghee Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I would tell her that she gives him TONS of "strange and odd", you are looking for other things when meeting with homeschoolers. Then I'd stop emailing with her. What a twit, and THIS woman is teaching children??! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in LV Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 Have you told her that the subject of homeschooling is not open for discussion? Frankly, I've always been willing to discuss this issue, because I value having family on board for support. The more I discussed it with my parents, who initially had no concept of what it was about, the more they strongly supported it -- and my mom was actually concerned that we were considering a public school option. But with MIL, there has never been any discussion. And then, out of the blue, this crazy e-mail. Needless to say, discussion over as far as I'm concerned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveOaksAcademy Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 (edited) :) Edited July 23, 2012 by FiveOaksAcademy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker25 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Our family is generally supportive of homeschooling, except for MIL (a teacher), who isn't too keen on the idea -- which is putting it mildly. Recently got an e-mail from her with this doozy: "There is no substitute for school and all the things that are important for normal growth and development. And if he meets in play groups throughout the year with other home schooled kids, my gosh, it's just getting together with other strange, odd kids and stranger parents." (Emphasis in original.) Um . . . okay. I have to admit I laughed out loud! The rudeness just completely threw me. Also, this is one of my favorite volleys from the non-homeschool crowd. I think public school kids can be just as odd and strange. It has more to do with personality than anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveOaksAcademy Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I have to admit I laughed out loud! The rudeness just completely threw me. Also, this is one of my favorite volleys from the non-homeschool crowd. I think public school kids can be just as odd and strange. It has more to do with personality than anything. This!!! I know families who homeschool and have one child who marches to his own drummer (my nice way of saying odd :lol:) then they'll have one who is very socially with it and functions well in groups. I know the same type families who go to public and private schools. The one thing I've noticed is that people don't seem to blame it on education choices if they go to public or private but they do when they homeschool. :glare: Weird! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 "Dear Grandma, The world is strange and odd people who attended public school. Perhaps it's more genetic than a product of her educational choice." :tongue_smilie: apparently strange and odd are supposed to be insults, I consider that "unique, just like everyone else", as my son would say. But calling her strange and odd would kind of be fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 my mother has recently started with the (and I quote) 'I'm worried about your dd because y'all have sheltered her. I'm worried that when she gets older and heading off she's going to "go off the deep end" and do wild things" :glare:...what like my mom did? Mom, Just because our dd doesn't go to school does not mean she is sheltered. We talk openly about anything. She understands what goes on in the world. She reads the paper daily and keeps up on the news. It's unfortunate in her nature that she's a bit of a follower...there are those that do and those that don't. She's also smart and sneaky. She's been like that since she was a child though. She makes stupid decisions sometimes, like many kids, because she doesn't have the maturity to think through to the outcome. We are all different and we try hard to give her a firm base on how to lead by good example. We're not all cut from the same cloth. My mother should know. She's got 6 of us and we are all VERY different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incognito Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Wow, that was a pretty interesting email. I am trying to imagine anyone in my family or social circles saying that to me - especially that directly. I just don't see how it would happen. We do joke about being odd in our family. My DH still will come from anything with homeschoolers and say with a sparkle of marvel in his voice that "people were actually fairly normal." Then I tell him that means we are the weird ones. ;) Is it at all possible your MIL thought she was being funny? If she usually has some measure of tact, that would be my first thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMary2 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Our family is generally supportive of homeschooling, except for MIL (a teacher), who isn't too keen on the idea -- which is putting it mildly. Recently got an e-mail from her with this doozy: "There is no substitute for school and all the things that are important for normal growth and development. And if he meets in play groups throughout the year with other home schooled kids, my gosh, it's just getting together with other strange, odd kids and stranger parents." (Emphasis in original.) Um . . . okay. Yeah, because her classroom is probably full of "normal" kids. No thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in LV Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 Is it at all possible your MIL thought she was being funny? If she usually has some measure of tact, that would be my first thought. Not even a chance. The rest of the e-mail was just as outlandish, if not more so, but a little personal, so I decided not to share it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Oh, heck no. I would let her know that she needed to communicate with her son, not me. I would be blocking her emails. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in LV Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 Oh, heck no. I would let her know that she needed to communicate with her son, not me. I would be blocking her emails. Actually, it did go to my dh, who forwarded it to me for my viewing pleasure. I doubt he's even going to send a reply, and I'm certainly not getting involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Oh wow. I'd be very tempted to write back that her email makes it apparent that any odd, strange, abnormal developments she thinks the grandkids have are obviously from paternal genetics they have inherited and I'm just hoping to mitigate it by home schooling.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandigirl Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Look I am a firm believer homeschoolers are not "normal" they do in fact develop differently then their peers.This is simply because they are influenced heavily by adults in their life. A child that attends public school might have 1-2 hours of quality time with their parents but a homeschooler spends all day with their parents. This gives the child more time to be molded and taught things like manners or speech rather than booger flicking and sharpie smokes from their peers. These children tend to develop closer bonds with parents and siblings that other find unusual because they are not seen very often. So are homeschoolers weird? not really but I think they mature at different speeds than their sharpie happy friends. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Actually, it did go to my dh, who forwarded it to me for my viewing pleasure. I doubt he's even going to send a reply, and I'm certainly not getting involved. Ah. Well, then I agree that you should just stay out of it. My MIL had some definite *opinions* about our decisions. I only replied when she said things directly to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teamturner Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Actually, it did go to my dh, who forwarded it to me for my viewing pleasure. I doubt he's even going to send a reply, and I'm certainly not getting involved. Maybe you should ask your dh to shield you from her and keep her insults from your brain. It is not helpful to you and only takes your focus off of your precious family and dwelling on her ignorant rants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I'm another one who actually laughed out loud. :lol: It's just so bizarre and out of touch that it appeals to my warped sense of humor. And blunt--she's very blunt. I bet a lot of the people who are against homeschooling feel that way, but your MIL has a way with words. :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Oh wow. I'd be very tempted to write back that her email makes it apparent that any odd, strange, abnormal developments she thinks the grandkids have are obviously from paternal genetics they have inherited and I'm just hoping to mitigate it by home schooling.:tongue_smilie: *snort* :rofl: Boy, your MIL sounds like a lovely woman, Kathleen. I remember my MIL telling me very seriously when we had just started homeschooling, that "socialization was the most important thing". So I guess I should just send my kids to school to socialize and the heck with their education. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Imagine if she visited the hive. SHe would be seeing it as proof she is right about all those odd, strange homeschoolers lol I would only reply with a thank you for the compliment. That you are really striving to raise kids that do not blindly follow others, after all peer pressure is a serious danger these days. Raising independent thinkers that march to the beat of their own drum is EXACTLY what you are going for and you are so pleased that she has noticed how wonderful it is that homeschooled kids are like that. And then I would not bring it up again. Let her stew in it for a while :lol: that you didn't fall for her intentions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiberia Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 "Dear MIL, I appreciate your concern, but I have to laugh at your characterization of home school families. I usually consider you to be an educated woman, but in this case your ignorance is shocking. I realize that your prejudice may be coming from a narrow view of homeschoolers. I'd love to discuss this with you if you are open-minded and willing to look at the reality of what we're doing. If you are not, then we'll just consider this topic out of bounds for now. Thanks again for your concern. Much love, Us." I'd be tempted to send it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in LV Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 I certainly appreciate all of your supportive comments. I knew I could rely on the Hive to "get it" and make me smile. And I'm glad I made some of you laugh. I actually chuckled a bit too when I first read it. It reminded me of many posts I've seen on here -- when I said to myself: "People don't actually say these things, do they?" And like several of you mentioned, it's wonderful to have a child who is not "normal" -- who follows his own passions regardless of what his peers might think. And most of all, this whole incident makes me so appreciative of my own mother, who is kind, caring, generous, and supportive, and who offers nothing but unconditional love to both me AND my dh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 "Well, then thankfully we home school so we can EXCEED "normal" growth and development." :D "And don't worry, we don't take them out without our foil hats so no worries there mom." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 An email like that shows very clearly both the judgment as well as an unwillingness to try to understand. I would ask dh to tell her this subject is not up for discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 "There is no substitute for school and all the things that are important for normal growth and development. And if he meets in play groups throughout the year with other home schooled kids, my gosh, it's just getting together with other strange, odd kids and stranger parents." (Emphasis in original.). How do you not respond sarcastically to something like that?! My family thinks we're crazy, but at least they are polite enough to only talk about us behind our backs. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I think these are the times to remember this quote: "Elinor agreed to it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Rude, rude, rude, and clearly not worth discussing it with. If anything I'd respond with "That's why we do it! :)" But seriously, I think I'd ask my husband not to forward her emails to me, and I would ask him to tell his mother the subject is no longer up for discussion. Over time, she will probably see the benefits of homeschooling, and if not -- who cares? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 What a rude thing for her to say. In other words, her grandchild is a strange odd kid with strange parents (and the rest of us are even worse). And you are stunting his growth and development. Have you told her that the subject of homeschooling is not open for discussion? :iagree: Wow. Just... wow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Well, you know, we should all be so eternally grateful to those who developed the American public school system however many years ago so that people could FINALLY grow and develop normally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdalley Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Frankly, I've always been willing to discuss this issue, because I value having family on board for support. The more I discussed it with my parents, who initially had no concept of what it was about, the more they strongly supported it -- and my mom was actually concerned that we were considering a public school option. But with MIL, there has never been any discussion. And then, out of the blue, this crazy e-mail. Needless to say, discussion over as far as I'm concerned. Uh, what school is she at that there are no 'strange, odd kids and strange parents'? More importantly - what universe? There are strange odd people EVERYWHERE. I'd probably be snarky and say, 'Well we want to be able to pick and choose which strange odd people the kids are around. But bless your heart for caring...' :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Maybe you should ask your dh to shield you from her and keep her insults from your brain. It is not helpful to you and only takes your focus off of your precious family and dwelling on her ignorant rants. :iagree: Definitely!!! EXCELLENT advice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Yeah, because there's no strange or odd kids in PS and definatley no strange and odd parents of kids in PS. *eyeroll* Let your Dh deal with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Imagine if she visited the hive. SHe would be seeing it as proof she is right about all those odd, strange homeschoolers lol I would only reply with a thank you for the compliment. That you are really striving to raise kids that do not blindly follow others, after all peer pressure is a serious danger these days. Raising independent thinkers that march to the beat of their own drum is EXACTLY what you are going for and you are so pleased that she has noticed how wonderful it is that homeschooled kids are like that. And then I would not bring it up again. Let her stew in it for a while :lol: that you didn't fall for her intentions "Dear MIL,I appreciate your concern, but I have to laugh at your characterization of home school families. I usually consider you to be an educated woman, but in this case your ignorance is shocking. I realize that your prejudice may be coming from a narrow view of homeschoolers. I'd love to discuss this with you if you are open-minded and willing to look at the reality of what we're doing. If you are not, then we'll just consider this topic out of bounds for now. Thanks again for your concern. Much love, Us." I'd be tempted to send it... THESE are also excellent!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I would send her back this quote: "There is no school equal to a decent home and no teacher equal to a virtuous parent." -Mahatma Gandhi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maus Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I think she's got it backwards (at least in our case): my kids aren't weird because we homeschool; we homeschool because they are weird!:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in LV Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 I would send her back this quote: "There is no school equal to a decent home and no teacher equal to a virtuous parent." -Mahatma Gandhi Love this!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sourpatchbaby Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I would reply back: (not)Dear MIL while I appreciate your concern for my child's upbringing, I've seen your kids and what you did with theirs. No thank you. However should you decide to bring this up again, I have a 2x4 with a rusty nail on it that would love to make your acquaintance. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thefragile7393 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 This!!! I know families who homeschool and have one child who marches to his own drummer (my nice way of saying odd :lol:) then they'll have one who is very socially with it and functions well in groups. I know the same type families who go to public and private schools. The one thing I've noticed is that people don't seem to blame it on education choices if they go to public or private but they do when they homeschool. :glare: Weird! :iagree: Very very very true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Hmm.....so much for 'normal growth and development'. We don't drink milk either. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tmulcahy Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I just read the OP's post out loud to my kiddos and we are all laughing hysterically. Does that make us strange?:lol: To the OP, I am sorry that your MIL is not supportive. It stinks when people, especially family members, think they know what is best for our children. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 (edited) I'd rather hang out with weirdos than automatons. Edited July 21, 2012 by Alphabetika Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea1 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 My family thinks we're crazy, but at least they are polite enough to only talk about us behind our backs. :lol: This is very funny! :lol: I have gotten some great laughs from this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 :D This is very funny! :lol: I have gotten some great laughs from this thread. My MIL once said to me, about HSing high school, "I think you're nuts but you're doing a great job." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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