Kids harassing woman on bus- is our society on the wrong track?

[rlugbill]

I remember after the shooting at Columbine, people were asking questions- how could this happen in a "good neighborhood"?

 

Likwise, here, the kids were normal suburban kids. They weren't from the Rochester City Schools, where people wouldn't have been so surprised at the behavior, since the schools in the City have a bad reputation. They were from a normal, middle-class suburban school.

 

I think we are asking the wrong question if we are simply asking what punishment these particular kids deserve. It makes it sound as if this is an isolated incident and it's only these particular kids.

 

My experience is the opposite. This type of behavior is very common. Children are routinely rude and behave poorly.

 

I think rather than just single out these kids for punishment, we need to have a real discussion about where we are going wrong as a society, where this type of behavior is commonplace, even among "good" suburban kids in "good" suburban school.

 

What do you think? Have we gone wrong as a sociey in how we raise children?

[LaxMom]

In a word, yes.

 

I think we have strayed far too far from a community mentality, from compassion. I think we have strayed far too far into cultural narcissism - the kind where we celebrate being as horrific as it takes to get the spotlight or whatever reward we're after, where schadenfreude is the norm, and if anything doesn't directly benefit "me", we are vehemently against, even when it affects "me" not at all.

 

Our society normalizes graphic violence and victimization as "game".

 

So, yes. When I can deny your basic needs because i dont share them, when my momentary entertainment trumps your dignity, I think we have gone astray. Big time.

[Dobela]

I think this begins when they are tiny. Too many families are sending children to be raised in groups in daycares and preschools. They are rude and lack compassion because they may rarely see it modeled in situations where they are one of 15 to 20 with a single adult most hours of their lives. When you raise a child in a pack, they will grow up with pack mentality.

[katilac]

Another vote for "it's nothing new."

 

My high school bus, early 1980s, was a den of iniquity, brutality, and dangerous behavior. They never bullied the bus driver (no aide) to any extreme, because he pretty much let them do whatever they wanted to.

 

Cussing and routine bullying of other students was so typical that no one batted an eye. Punches were thrown, blood was shed, drugs were sold, fires were set.

 

There were only 3 girls on the bus (we went to a school out of our zone), or I'm sure there would have been other types of misbehavior as well. As there were so few of us, we could all sit in the front seats, and were quite smart enough to do so. You had the girls, then a few rows of 'good' boys, then a few rows of rowdy boys, and then Helltown.

[TranquilMind]

I remember after the shooting at Columbine, people were asking questions- how could this happen in a "good neighborhood"?

 

Likwise, here, the kids were normal suburban kids. They weren't from the Rochester City Schools, where people wouldn't have been so surprised at the behavior, since the schools in the City have a bad reputation. They were from a normal, middle-class suburban school.

 

I think we are asking the wrong question if we are simply asking what punishment these particular kids deserve. It makes it sound as if this is an isolated incident and it's only these particular kids.

 

My experience is the opposite. This type of behavior is very common. Children are routinely rude and behave poorly.

 

I think rather than just single out these kids for punishment, we need to have a real discussion about where we are going wrong as a society, where this type of behavior is commonplace, even among "good" suburban kids in "good" suburban school.

 

What do you think? Have we gone wrong as a sociey in how we raise children?

 

Yes, we have gone very wrong as a society.

[JudyJudyJudy]

I'm a former teacher, and I wasn't surprised in the least by the behavior of these kids.

[kalanamak]

My brother's HS class (1958) chained up the shop teacher, hoisted him upon a pulley and welded the chain to the table top. In a nice college town, too.

[happymomofboys]

Another vote for "it's nothing new."

 

My high school bus, early 1980s, was a den of iniquity, brutality, and dangerous behavior. They never bullied the bus driver (no aide) to any extreme, because he pretty much let them do whatever they wanted to.

 

Cussing and routine bullying of other students was so typical that no one batted an eye. Punches were thrown, blood was shed, drugs were sold, fires were set.

 

There were only 3 girls on the bus (we went to a school out of our zone), or I'm sure there would have been other types of misbehavior as well. As there were so few of us, we could all sit in the front seats, and were quite smart enough to do so. You had the girls, then a few rows of 'good' boys, then a few rows of rowdy boys, and then Helltown.

 

:iagree: I went in the 90s and we had assigned seats on our busses, but that didn't stop anything. It just meant that the good kids got to sit next to the horrid ones, unable to avoid being verbally and sometimes physically attacked day after day after day.

 

We also saw the same behavior on the P.E. yard, in the halls between classes, and in the cafeteria. Basically anywhere where the children were allowed to congregate in groups pretty much unsupervised. A single driver (or monitor) on a bus, teacher in the lunch room, or coach on the P.E. yard doesn't count as appropriate supervision for adolescents in my opinion.

Edited June 21, 2012 by happymomofboys
typo

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Didn't a teacher in one of the Little House books have to defend himself from some students with a whip?

[Trish]

 

What do you think? Have we gone wrong as a sociey in how we raise children?

 

Well for starters a lot of people are letting them raise themselves.

[ktgrok]

And you really think this is new?

 

I mean didn't the ancient Greeks watch gladiators fight to the death for fun?

 

Really, this is nothing new. The only new thing I can see is that people are more outraged and seek to change it. I really think things are more positive than ever in that regard. And that's odd for me because I'm a glass is half empty kind of gal.

 

:iagree:

[*Michelle*]

Didn't a teacher in one of the Little House books have to defend himself from some students with a whip?

 

Farmer Boy

[JudyJudyJudy]

I do want to add one thing that I do think has changed: Even compared to 20-something years ago when I first started teaching, parents are now far more likely to defend their kids with bad behavior and to never admit that their kids ever do anything wrong.

[Reflections]

On Facebook, at the Homeschool Lounge:

 

Via Michael Farris....

 

"Homeschoolers are routinely asked: "What about socialization?" Isn't it about time that public school advocates get asked that question?

 

The video of the school bus monitor being cursed, bullied, and taunted by a ...bunch of middle school brats has gone viral. This kids reflect a mean-spirit and evil socialization process. That is what happens when you let kids socialize kids in a school system that is dedicated to the notion that truth is relative.

 

The formal definition of socialization is passing the values of society from one generation to the next. These kids should be listening to this woman for her wisdom. Instead, they abuse her in the extreme. Who wants their kids socialized in THAT atmosphere?

Someone else commented that she posted it on her wall and several of her "PS Teacher" friends were offended: "Apparently they think public education in our current system has nothing to do with this type of negative socialization. That is our biggest problem."

 

 

I think that this IS a question that public schools need to be asked because honestly, that is one of the reasons we will homeschool through high school.

[Audrey]

On Facebook, at the Homeschool Lounge:

 

Via Michael Farris....

 

"Homeschoolers are routinely asked: "What about socialization?" Isn't it about time that public school advocates get asked that question?

 

The video of the school bus monitor being cursed, bullied, and taunted by a ...bunch of middle school brats has gone viral. This kids reflect a mean-spirit and evil socialization process. That is what happens when you let kids socialize kids in a school system that is dedicated to the notion that truth is relative.

 

The formal definition of socialization is passing the values of society from one generation to the next. These kids should be listening to this woman for her wisdom. Instead, they abuse her in the extreme. Who wants their kids socialized in THAT atmosphere?

 

Someone else commented that she posted it on her wall and several of her "PS Teacher" friends were offended: "Apparently they think public education in our current system has nothing to do with this type of negative socialization. That is our biggest problem."

 

 

I think that this IS a question that public schools need to be asked because honestly, that is one of the reasons we will homeschool through high school.

 

 

It is one of the reasons I want to try to keep going through high school, too. I admit I have many concerns, many doubts about that, but the one thing I don't doubt is that my son won't be left emotionally scarred by homeschooling.

[nova147]

I think there are two problems that work together to make all the normal kid stuff worse. First, as a pp noted, many kids are sent to daycare, then preschool, then public school. Most of them have had a dozen authority figures in their first 5 years. Second, none of those authority figures can excercise their authority without fear of lawsuits, job loss, etc. Many kids learn early how to "scam the system".

 

I agree that much of this is just childhood as usual. And it is more obvious because of the Internet. I do think the outsourcing of parenting plays a roll, however.

[Audrey]

In another thread on this, MyCrazyHouse used the word "un-parents." I think this is a great term to describe a lot of what passes for "parenting" in many families that I have personally encountered, and which I suspect is a factor in a lot of bullying and behaviour issues. I am seeing parents who will defend a child's atrocious behaviour even while admitting the child actually did the atrocious things. They will still insist that the child not suffer any repercussions for their behaviour, and then they do nothing themselves either. It seems to be popular among my acquaintances to try to "be your kid's friend" instead of being your kid's parent. I just cannot buy that.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

In a word, yes.

 

I think we have strayed far too far from a community mentality, from compassion. I think we have strayed far too far into cultural narcissism - the kind where we celebrate being as horrific as it takes to get the spotlight or whatever reward we're after, where schadenfreude is the norm, and if anything doesn't directly benefit "me", we are vehemently against, even when it affects "me" not at all.

 

Our society normalizes graphic violence and victimization as "game".

 

So, yes. When I can deny your basic needs because i dont share them, when my momentary entertainment trumps your dignity, I think we have gone astray. Big time.

 

:iagree:

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

In another thread on this, MyCrazyHouse used the word "un-parents." I think this is a great term to describe a lot of what passes for "parenting" in many families that I have personally encountered, and which I suspect is a factor in a lot of bullying and behaviour issues. I am seeing parents who will defend a child's atrocious behaviour even while admitting the child actually did the atrocious things. They will still insist that the child not suffer any repercussions for their behaviour, and then they do nothing themselves either. It seems to be popular among my acquaintances to try to "be your kid's friend" instead of being your kid's parent. I just cannot buy that.

 

Totally agree.:iagree:

[Reflections]

In another thread on this, MyCrazyHouse used the word "un-parents." I think this is a great term to describe a lot of what passes for "parenting" in many families that I have personally encountered, and which I suspect is a factor in a lot of bullying and behaviour issues. I am seeing parents who will defend a child's atrocious behaviour even while admitting the child actually did the atrocious things. They will still insist that the child not suffer any repercussions for their behaviour, and then they do nothing themselves either. It seems to be popular among my acquaintances to try to "be your kid's friend" instead of being your kid's parent. I just cannot buy that.

 

We have been on the receiving end of this.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

It is one of the reasons I want to try to keep going through high school, too. I admit I have many concerns, many doubts about that, but the one thing I don't doubt is that my son won't be left emotionally scarred by homeschooling.

 

This is also gives me great pause and go *gulp* because we will be trying out a "phenomenal" school which I am praying will be a good experience for ds. Trust me, I will be ready to yank him out though if there are problems like this which I witnessed and experienced over 30 years ago:( We are trying to prep him extensively about bullies though so he knows what to do and to tell us and the teachers. We are also trying to instill confidence in him as well so that he knows bullying is the bully's problem and not his.

[leeannpal]

I do want to add one thing that I do think has changed: Even compared to 20-something years ago when I first started teaching, parents are now far more likely to defend their kids with bad behavior and to never admit that their kids ever do anything wrong.

 

:iagree: Lawsuits have changed our society. It is not uncommon for parents to bully a school's administration and/or teachers by threatening a lawsuit. Often, it is clear that the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree.

[Audrey]

This is also gives me great pause and go *gulp* because we will be trying out a "phenomenal" school which I am praying will be a good experience for ds. Trust me, I will be ready to yank him out though if there are problems like this which I witnessed and experienced over 30 years ago:( We are trying to prep him extensively about bullies though so he knows what to do and to tell us and the teachers. We are also trying to instill confidence in him as well so that he knows bullying is the bully's problem and not his.

 

 

Well, we are all just trying to do what we feel is best for our kids, Priscilla. Sometimes you've just got to take that leap and try. I truly hope that your son's ps experience is only the best all around. :grouphug:

[Audrey]

We have been on the receiving end of this.

 

:grouphug: I'm sorry.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

Well, we are all just trying to do what we feel is best for our kids, Priscilla. Sometimes you've just got to take that leap and try. I truly hope that your son's ps experience is only the best all around. :grouphug:

 

I hope so too. The only reason we are trying is because of the great reputation of this school. OTOH, we also have a planB which is homeschooling:D In the meantime, I will try to keep a cool head about it:)

[KnitWit]

In another thread on this, MyCrazyHouse used the word "un-parents." I think this is a great term to describe a lot of what passes for "parenting" in many families that I have personally encountered, and which I suspect is a factor in a lot of bullying and behaviour issues. I am seeing parents who will defend a child's atrocious behaviour even while admitting the child actually did the atrocious things. They will still insist that the child not suffer any repercussions for their behaviour, and then they do nothing themselves either. It seems to be popular among my acquaintances to try to "be your kid's friend" instead of being your kid's parent. I just cannot buy that.

 

:iagree:

[annandatje]

Humans, especially in groups, have always had the capacity for extreme cruelty. I wish someone had posted videos of all the GLBT kids being bullied; maybe some of them would have received the emotional and financial support that people have rightfully bestowed upon the bus monitor.

 

My nonheterosexual child, my multiple special needs child, and my mentally retarded brother in law have been on receiving end of brutal bullying. Simply homeschooling them will not necessarily save them from the bullying; it can happen anywhere that people congregate.

[Audrey]

Humans, especially in groups, have always had the capacity for extreme cruelty. I wish someone had posted videos of all the GLBT kids being bullied; maybe some of them would have received the emotional and financial support that people have rightfully bestowed upon the bus monitor.

 

My nonheterosexual child, my multiple special needs child, and my mentally retarded brother in law have been on receiving end of brutal bullying. Simply homeschooling them will not necessarily save them from the bullying; it can happen anywhere that people congregate.

 

 

You are right. It can happen anywhere.

 

Quite a while ago, I took my son to movie theatre in town. When I went to get popcorn there were some kids (from out of town) bullying a local special needs boy. I returned to see my son holler at them "You quit that! We don't do that here!" At which point, a man (who had been sitting there the whole time) finally got up and said something to the bully kids, told the staff and the bullies were asked to leave.

 

So, yes... it can happen anywhere. And, it's amazing sometimes who will sit there and just watch, and who will stand up and say something.

Edited June 22, 2012 by Audrey
spelling

[tex-mex]

And you really think this is new?

 

I mean didn't the ancient Greeks watch gladiators fight to the death for fun?

 

Really, this is nothing new. The only new thing I can see is that people are more outraged and seek to change it. I really think things are more positive than ever in that regard. And that's odd for me because I'm a glass is half empty kind of gal.

:iagree:

 

In ancient societies like Carthage where child sacrifice was the norm... I usually have to remind myself there is nothing new under the sun. The only difference is that sin still exists like the ancient days -- but we now have nifty modern gadgets to capture the misdeed for the world to see. :glare:

[LibraryLover]

Cruelty is nothing new.

 

At least these days there can be legal retribution (in some areas).

 

In the old days, who cared? Spit and kick the black woman sitting on a train (happened to a friend in 1982 in South Africa), drown the blind child, put the deaf kid in an institution, hang the freed black slave, toss the Christian in with the lions, burn and hang the 'witches', shoot the entire village of Jews and bury them in the grave they dug, and beat to death the gay guy who dared try to be open.

Edited June 22, 2012 by LibraryLover

[Julie Smith]

Didn't a teacher in one of the Little House books have to defend himself from some students with a whip?

 

Yes, in Farmer Boy.

 

It is also mentioned that the injuries the teacher received from the beating likely lead to his death. The big boys who did this got no punishment of any kind.

 

Well the new teacher whipped two of them when they tried to beat him.

[katilac]

Humans, especially in groups, have always had the capacity for extreme cruelty. I wish someone had posted videos of all the GLBT kids being bullied; maybe some of them would have received the emotional and financial support that people have rightfully bestowed upon the bus monitor.

 

My nonheterosexual child, my multiple special needs child, and my mentally retarded brother in law have been on receiving end of brutal bullying. Simply homeschooling them will not necessarily save them from the bullying; it can happen anywhere that people congregate.

 

I agree that it can happen anywhere that people congregate, but home schooled kids have the very great fortune of not having to endure it every. single. day.

 

As we enter our 10th year of home schooling, I can honestly say that I have never seen or heard of a case of true bullying in our local set. When I have heard of bullying among home schoolers (mostly on message boards), it always seems to occurr in co-ops and such - that is, in a very school-like setting. I'm sure it does happen, but it seems wonderfully uncommon, and again, it is so much easier for hs'd kids to walk away. They are not nearly as "trapped" as schooled kids.

[Parrothead]

In a word, yes.

 

I think we have strayed far too far from a community mentality, from compassion. I think we have strayed far too far into cultural narcissism - the kind where we celebrate being as horrific as it takes to get the spotlight or whatever reward we're after, where schadenfreude is the norm, and if anything doesn't directly benefit "me", we are vehemently against, even when it affects "me" not at all.

 

Our society normalizes graphic violence and victimization as "game".

 

So, yes. When I can deny your basic needs because i dont share them, when my momentary entertainment trumps your dignity, I think we have gone astray. Big time.

:iagree: What she said.

[Impish]

I think one aspect that IS new, at least from when I was a teen, is that teens have no hesitation at all at taking on adults.

 

When I was a teen, you backed down in a hurry around adults. If you were fighting, you stopped. Mouthing off, etc, you stopped.

 

Now? There seems to be no line. Teens have no issues turning on an adult trying to stop a kid from being bullied, etc...and as we've seen in this instance, bullying an adult themselves.

 

And it's not just the so called 'bad kids' either. Seems if there's a group, all bets are off.

[Parrothead]

In another thread on this, MyCrazyHouse used the word "un-parents." I think this is a great term to describe a lot of what passes for "parenting" in many families that I have personally encountered, and which I suspect is a factor in a lot of bullying and behaviour issues. I am seeing parents who will defend a child's atrocious behaviour even while admitting the child actually did the atrocious things. They will still insist that the child not suffer any repercussions for their behaviour, and then they do nothing themselves either. It seems to be popular among my acquaintances to try to "be your kid's friend" instead of being your kid's parent. I just cannot buy that.

Well, you know we can't have their self esteem injured in any way. :glare:

[LibraryLover]

I think one aspect that IS new, at least from when I was a teen, is that teens have no hesitation at all at taking on adults.

 

When I was a teen, you backed down in a hurry around adults. If you were fighting, you stopped. Mouthing off, etc, you stopped.

 

Now? There seems to be no line. Teens have no issues turning on an adult trying to stop a kid from being bullied, etc...and as we've seen in this instance, bullying an adult themselves.

 

And it's not just the so called 'bad kids' either. Seems if there's a group, all bets are off.

 

 

It does depend on the culture and whether the elders are respected. It's not true that elders are considered important in every culture--- even if your particular culture did value elders when you were young(er).

Edited June 22, 2012 by LibraryLover

[Reflections]

:grouphug: I'm sorry.

 

:001_smile: Thank you, you're nice. I lost a lot of people who I thought were friends over not accepting it and refusing to allow the child back at my house.

[Joker]

Teachers can be part of the problem. Oldest dd started ps for middle school this past year and had one teacher who was a bully. She told us almost at the end of the year that he made fun of a student that she thinks is on the spectrum (we have a neighbor who is so she's familiar). She said he picked on this student almost every class and just about everyone would laugh. She felt she couldn't speak up because he was older and a teacher. We told her it was ok and we would not be angry. I also contacted the school.

 

Some of these kids may not be getting enough guidance at home, then they go to school and have bullies for teachers/coaches. It was especially true of coaches, who were also teachers, when I was growing up (late 80s, early 90s), and this teacher is a coach. Many boys see them as leaders and role models and they really shouldn't be.

[justamouse]

In a word, yes.

 

I think we have strayed far too far from a community mentality, from compassion. I think we have strayed far too far into cultural narcissism - the kind where we celebrate being as horrific as it takes to get the spotlight or whatever reward we're after, where schadenfreude is the norm, and if anything doesn't directly benefit "me", we are vehemently against, even when it affects "me" not at all.

 

Our society normalizes graphic violence and victimization as "game".

 

So, yes. When I can deny your basic needs because i dont share them, when my momentary entertainment trumps your dignity, I think we have gone astray. Big time.

 

:iagree:

[Nooby]

I'm a former teacher, and I wasn't surprised in the least by the behavior of these kids.

This statment saddened me.

[annandatje]

Teachers can be part of the problem. Oldest dd started ps for middle school this past year and had one teacher who was a bully. She told us almost at the end of the year that he made fun of a student that she thinks is on the spectrum (we have a neighbor who is so she's familiar). She said he picked on this student almost every class and just about everyone would laugh. She felt she couldn't speak up because he was older and a teacher. We told her it was ok and we would not be angry. I also contacted the school.

 

Some of these kids may not be getting enough guidance at home, then they go to school and have bullies for teachers/coaches. It was especially true of coaches, who were also teachers, when I was growing up (late 80s, early 90s), and this teacher is a coach. Many boys see them as leaders and role models and they really shouldn't be.

 

Thank you for pointing this out. It is not only children and teens who bully. Adults in authority positions engage in it all too often.

[Guest submarines]

Thank you for pointing this out. It is not only children and teens who bully. Adults in authority positions engage in it all too often.

 

:iagree: With everyone focusing on the children who bullied her, there's surprising little focus on the bus driver, who's job description likely includes being responsible for the discipline on the bus.

[Guest submarines]

Humans, especially in groups, have always had the capacity for extreme cruelty. I wish someone had posted videos of all the GLBT kids being bullied; maybe some of them would have received the emotional and financial support that people have rightfully bestowed upon the bus monitor.

 

My nonheterosexual child, my multiple special needs child, and my mentally retarded brother in law have been on receiving end of brutal bullying. Simply homeschooling them will not necessarily save them from the bullying; it can happen anywhere that people congregate.

 

:grouphug:

[Pink Fairy]

I'm pretty sheltered from this type of behavior, but my dh (you all are probably getting tired of hearing about "my dh, the ps teacher" :tongue_smilie:) and I have frequent conversations on how far downhill the school culture where he works has gone. The kids do and say things that even five years ago would have been unthinkable. It continues to snowball, because only the worst offenses are punished by the administration, and the line that defines "worst" is being moved forward all the time.

 

Being homeschooled is enough to protect my kids for now, but sooner or later they will be dealing with these same people out in society. It frightens me sometimes.

[Lizzie in Ma]

In another thread on this, MyCrazyHouse used the word "un-parents." I think this is a great term to describe a lot of what passes for "parenting" in many families that I have personally encountered, and which I suspect is a factor in a lot of bullying and behaviour issues. I am seeing parents who will defend a child's atrocious behaviour even while admitting the child actually did the atrocious things. They will still insist that the child not suffer any repercussions for their behaviour, and then they do nothing themselves either. It seems to be popular among my acquaintances to try to "be your kid's friend" instead of being your kid's parent. I just cannot buy that.

 

I remember sitting with my 5 year old many year ago when we took her out of public kindergarten. I told her that she and I were not friends, that I am her Mom and her teacher and that my role in her life was not that of any kind of peer while she is growing up. That I hoped someday we would be friends when she was all grown up, as I am with my Mom. She really hadn't understood the dynamics of our relationship because of the way all her friends treated their Moms. At this point, 11 years later, I am pretty sure we are going to be great friends.

[Soror]

Cruelty is nothing new.

 

At least these days there can be legal retribution (in some areas).

 

In the old days, who cared? Spit and kick the black lady sitting on the bus (happened to a friend in 1982 in South Africa), drown the blind child, put the deaf kid in an institution, hang the freed black slave, toss the Christian in with the lions, burn and hang the 'witches', shoot the entire village of Jews and bury them in the grave they dug, and beat to death the gay guy who dared try to be open.

 

Remember the past, and make sure to reject it.

:iagree:

I don't think it is new. Our own recent past in the US is full of horror stories of how Blacks, immigrants, women, Native Americans and Japanese Americans were treated. It was then socially acceptable for everyone to act that way. I think when something bad happens we like to pretend that we are so evolved and "we" don't do that anymore but it isn't true.

[mom2bbj]

In another thread on this, MyCrazyHouse used the word "un-parents." I think this is a great term to describe a lot of what passes for "parenting" in many families that I have personally encountered, and which I suspect is a factor in a lot of bullying and behaviour issues. I am seeing parents who will defend a child's atrocious behaviour even while admitting the child actually did the atrocious things. They will still insist that the child not suffer any repercussions for their behaviour, and then they do nothing themselves either. It seems to be popular among my acquaintances to try to "be your kid's friend" instead of being your kid's parent. I just cannot buy that.

 

:iagree::iagree:It's this. no question, bullying is directly related to parenting, or should I say~ non-parenting.

 

Vickie

[Spock]

I was wondering why it is that not even ONE child on the bus tried to defend the lady. Surely some of the children who saw what was happening and didn't participate knew it was wrong and didn't want it to happen. Yet, not even ONE was brave enough to stand up for her and tell the others to stop. As I told my 2 youngers yesterday when we were discussing it, one child probably couldn't have made the others stop, but one child standing up for her could still have made her feel better. It also occurs to me now that if one child had been brave enough to say something, maybe others who felt the same but were afraid to speak might have joined in.

 

Maybe we aren't working hard enough to teach our children to not only not participate in this kind of behavior, but also to speak up when this kind of thing is happening. Being brave enough to be the only one doing right, if necessary, is an important character goal that I haven't spoken of enough with my younger two, though I made a major point of it with my older two.

 

There will always be cruel people, but the silence of the others encourages them to act on their impulses just as much as active encouragement does.

[happymomofboys]

I was wondering why it is that not even ONE child on the bus tried to defend the lady. Surely some of the children who saw what was happening and didn't participate knew it was wrong and didn't want it to happen. Yet, not even ONE was brave enough to stand up for her and tell the others to stop. As I told my 2 youngers yesterday when we were discussing it, one child probably couldn't have made the others stop, but one child standing up for her could still have made her feel better. It also occurs to me now that if one child had been brave enough to say something, maybe others who felt the same but were afraid to speak might have joined in.

 

Maybe we aren't working hard enough to teach our children to not only not participate in this kind of behavior, but also to speak up when this kind of thing is happening. Being brave enough to be the only one doing right, if necessary, is an important character goal that I haven't spoken of enough with my younger two, though I made a major point of it with my older two.

 

There will always be cruel people, but the silence of the others encourages them to act on their impulses just as much as active encouragement does.

 

Did you watch the entire video? :confused: They were using words like "stab with a knife" and "rape." Not only that, but they're on a school bus that's meant to take kids to and from their homes (or close to their homes). The kids might not have any clue where the monitor lives, but they very likely know where the other kids on the bus live. I'm sure there were kids who would have liked to stand up for the lady, but they're kids! She's an adult who was supposed to be monitoring the bus. If she couldn't do anything about it, given the circumstances the good kids probably didn't feel there was anything they could do about it either.

[scooby-do]

these children should never be allowed to use the public school busing system again. They should have to scrub every toilet and floor in their entire school district. They should have to raise money for this lady to retire( I know she has already received money , but they should have to be part of it with car washes and stuff).

What kind of parents raise kids like this? Where was the bus driver during all of this?

Children that can do this have serious issues and they will grow up and be unleashed on society.

 

Then place them on the side of the street with a sign that says, I am a bully and I bullied an old lady.